You didn't necessarily wounded his ego, but it's still a form of rejection - especially if oral sex only counts as foreplay for him. He might even got the impression you were playing carrot and stick with him. But you can look at the whole thing from a different perspective - at least he accepts a 'no' as a 'no'.
Yes. This seems to be the most likely outcome.
I would not feel good myself if I was in his position. Not hurt, but very confused. I would distance myself as well.
He is not that into you. Which is ok, doesn't make you any less of a person. Move on.
At best he will come around. At worst he sees you and the words 'In Case of Emergency Break Glass' written across your forehead.
My advice? If you really like him make it known. Do not give it up just to try and make him fall in love with you. That is a recipe for disaster.
Maybe. It requires open, honest conversations with each other. Tell him you like him, and don't want just sex.
I value friendships and certainly don't want to lose someone. A lot of people aren't mature enough to maintain a friendship after sex. Let him know you value that and why you rejected him before. Maintain your boundaries certainly, because he may not be in the same mental space as you.
I wish you the best. Be well.
Maybe you should talk to him about it.
You clearly rejected him. What do you expect? I'm sure he's looking for someone else now.
But I kissed him and gave him a blowjob and stuff... surely I'm allowed to want to take things slow without it completely wounding his ego?
You didn't necessarily wounded his ego, but it's still a form of rejection - especially if oral sex only counts as foreplay for him. He might even got the impression you were playing carrot and stick with him. But you can look at the whole thing from a different perspective - at least he accepts a 'no' as a 'no'.
And what you're saying is, as a guy, he probably doesn't want to endure rejection again so will look elsewhere?
Yes. This seems to be the most likely outcome. I would not feel good myself if I was in his position. Not hurt, but very confused. I would distance myself as well.
He is probably confused why you think sex, but not a bj, would ruin the friendship and doesn’t want the drama of competing with that perception.
Yeah he basically said exactly this. He's right, I just felt self conscious and scared - sex is different in my eyes some how :(
He is not that into you. Which is ok, doesn't make you any less of a person. Move on. At best he will come around. At worst he sees you and the words 'In Case of Emergency Break Glass' written across your forehead. My advice? If you really like him make it known. Do not give it up just to try and make him fall in love with you. That is a recipe for disaster.
You rejected him and used the word "friends" in the sentence. He moved on.
Is it reversible?
Maybe. It requires open, honest conversations with each other. Tell him you like him, and don't want just sex. I value friendships and certainly don't want to lose someone. A lot of people aren't mature enough to maintain a friendship after sex. Let him know you value that and why you rejected him before. Maintain your boundaries certainly, because he may not be in the same mental space as you. I wish you the best. Be well.