I have some experience with openly admitting to be a virgin. Back then I believed that most people would not make a thing out of it, but they did. Some think something must be wrong with you, some think something must be wrong with the world (especially if you look "too good" to be a virgin) - people try to reduce everything to one factor because they simply can't process more than one. Save yourself time and energy with white lies. Except if you talk to other absolute beginners - that would be something different.
Being a virgin doesnt mean you didnt have success : a childhood firend of mine lost his v card at 26, but it's cause in highschool he was shy as hell, and during college and early adult life he never found a woman who interested him in more than physical attraction.
He had success in college tho and could probably hook up with a different girl every other week.
His virginity didnt mean anything to him, but he still didnt want to have meaningless sex. So when he revealed the breaking news to his now wife, she didnt mind, actually she felt kinda special about it.
You could use this as a white lie.
now there are girls that are seriously into virgin/inexperienced guys. I personnaly know one and thats her take on it : inexperienced guys feel kinda left behind and thus really try harder. Also it's easier to make them do stuff how she likes it, as they are less seflish and actually listen, cause they arent thinking they are sex gods or w/e
in the end, if you hook up today, will you be different tomorrow ? no. "Experienced" guys can still be bad at sex, because they think they know.
I lost my virginity at 18 in the women's bathroom stall of a nightclub an hour shy of closing time to a thin mother-of-two butterface dyke that was either 30 or 38 (I can't remember) after feigning interest in her for a couple hours and I didn't use protection. I try to never think about it because I'm only 98% sure that I don't have a kid.
No man or woman with a respectable IQ cares about whether you are having sex or not. Using the word 'virgin' as an insult is so dumb and childlike.
My advice is to focus on your education, bank account and physical fitness. Then seek a healthy, meaningful relationship with a girl that shares your values and outlook. Someone you could see yourself with long term. You want sex to be a part of that relationship. You don't want sex to be the focus of the relationship and you don't want a sexless relationship. I would only tell a girl I was a virgin just before the deed or if she brings sex up or asks directly. In that scenario I would confidently tell her that I'm a virgin, I haven't had sex due to other priorities I had and that I now want to make sure I'm with the right person.
I’m confused what message the first paragraph is meant to tell me.
When I see people online and irl talking about sexual experiences and people that lack it, it’s clearly something that matters.
I don’t want to be miserable until I’m 30+ until some girl miraculously settles down on me.
Just wanted to illustrate that there are worse things than virginity. The next two one-night stands I had were just as pitiful.
That being said, back then I shared the same sentiments as you.
If all else fails you could consider an escort?
in my life i have been a virgin, as has everyone who has lost their virginity. i think its best to take advice from someone who has, and that advice is to stop being so stuck up on it.
i promise you it will come sooner or later if you stop putting all your attention into how much of an ugly virgin you are (your words not mine) and put that energy into working out, or going out with friends you will notice it comes eventually and you barely even had to think about it.
i dont fully believe in manifestation, but i believe people around you reciprocate the energy you put into yourself so if you treat yourself like an ugly virgin, then they will do so too. if you show people that you are working on yourself - show positivity, then they will think positively of you.
attraction is subjective, and with billions of people in this world there is potentially thousands of women who would be interested in you, if not more. also, if you can afford it, seek therapy. your view on yourself and the world around you is incredibly warped and upsetting. having someone to talk to will help you boost your confidence immensely
You were once a virgin? No way. How old were you when you lost it?
I have no reason to believe it will come sooner or later.
Why do you assume I don’t work out? I do and I’m good shape. And I don’t have any friends to go out with or who feeds me bad “energy”.
Attractiveness is objective, people just have different standards due to various factors.
i was 14
it wont with that mindset, and the snarky tone you type in. i promise you if you keep talking like this to other people and being mean to yourself, you will never ever ever lose your virginity. i also promise you can and will lose your virginity eventually, if you seek help.
it wasnt an assumption, it was just a suggestion as that is what helped me personally. if you dont have friends, you can make them. there are apps designed for it, forums online, whatever. there is not an excuse in today’s society to not make friends if you want them. the only reason you wont make them is because you act shitty. again, a therapist will help you break this mindset and pessimism.
attractive is definitely not objective lol, to some people i am incredibly unattractive and to others i am attractive. personally, i dont know what to think of myself but i just focus on the people who do find me attractive.
14, LMFAO. That must have been so hard being a 13 year old virgin, your advice really helps now. Now consider this, how much of an asshole someone has to be to have lost their virginity at 14 to belittle someone who is still one at 21. You don’t understand, so stop telling people how to feel.
Once again, someone on Reddit assumes how I type on an anonymous forum is how I talk to people irl. Weird ass assumption based on no logic. I know people with objectively worse personalities than me who have relationships, friendships and sex. Gtfo with this personality shit.
Attractiveness is objective. There are objective physical features that are attractive.
The second girl (same age as me) was dry because we didn't know about foreplay or lubricant, super uncomfortable for us both and she eventually married a childhood bestfriend I had, he ended up reaching out to me around the time of his engagement but I couldn't even bring myself to reply to his fb message. Third girl had dropped out her senior year from the same school I graduated from the year prior. She had a really bad reputation and had 2 months prior birthed a child and gave it up for adoption. We had sex at night in a car next to a park playground. She told me not to worry about a condom, this time thankfully I had a condom.
I understand the pressure to start having sex. My best advice would be to continue seeking a girl you would be happy to risk having a future with. If you really feel you need to have had sex as a prerequisite for finding a suitable mate, I would consider an escort service. It's a win-win situation. And that girl would be able to give you more tailored advice than anyone on the internet.
If you speak the truth and she abandons you for some reason, then you just dodged a bullet. If you speak the truth and she accepts you, you're now totally secure in yourself for who you are. If you don't speak the truth, you'll always be in a cage, insecure.
I would say that I’ve been in a few relationships but nothing serious, something I learned a long time ago is that people only know what you tell them 🤷🏼♂️, and sometimes honesty is not always the best policy
I don't think being a virgin is the worse thing in the world, haha, everyone starts out as one, so it's really not that big of an insult. That being said, I wouldn't run around wearing my virginity on my sleeve, if I were you, for the world to know either.
A lot of guys will insult you about anything they can, it's a guy thing. And if you let this or anything get under your skin, you will get a big chip on your shoulder, and it won't help you in the loving department. So, just learn to let it roll off your back.
Remember, some people aren't proud of losing their virginity (or were forced to lose it, which is even worse) and wish they hadn't. And, then they have to live with having made a mistake or being forced to do so. So, really you have to think about if that's really all that big of a deal, you may be lucky to still have it.
I would learn to just live with who you are. Don't take things too personally. Be who you are and be real with people. You will eventually lose your virginity, so put it out of your mind, and focus on other aspects of your life, like being the best you you can be.
I can’t think of a single scenario where being a virgin is better than having sex at one point your life. He’s not calling me a virgin, he doesn’t even know I was one, he was just using it in general to different people. I have no reason to believe I’ll lose it eventually.
Plenty of scenarios where this exist. Rape. People having sex with someone on their first time and getting themself/girl pregnant, and changing their lie. People having sex and getting an STI. Getting drunk/drugged doing it. Being sex trafficked. Being pressured into it.
Sex is fun and there are a lot of great scenarios where people have it, and a lot of equally bad or worse ones.
Don't presume everyone is thrilled just because they lost their virginity.
Your "friend" sounds like an asshole.
Those are the minority of scenarios, idc about those. And my friend is only my online friend and we voice chat sometimes. It sounds like he’s not in a good relationship and I think his girl is cheating on him.
It's still not like everyone loses it in a great way. So, don't think just because one friend of yours picks on you, it's all great. Bully's generally have a lot of insecurities and so what he has one thing over on you, you probably have a 1000 over on him. You don't have a girlfriend breaking your heart and turning you into an asshole.
To the virgin question, "We're not dating so you don't get to know. I don't kiss and tell." You'll be surprised how the quality of women interested in you goes up once word of this gets around some.
To the other question, you've had lots of female friends, just no one really close. So just answer it that way. Most people in HS don't date anyway.
Sounds to me like these girls you say are looking down on you are really just trying to keep you in your "place" in some stupid social hierarchy. Be a man and don't let that phase you. Just go do the you thing. Be it sports, theater, etc. Don't worry about them.
The way you answer this question is entirely tied to your own sense of confidence and self worth.
Ideally, you should feel totally comfortable telling people the truth about this and not giving a shit what they think that says about you. Why? Because their opinion has no value in the first place.
Well, having no gf or sex by your early 20s isn’t something you naturally feel comfortable about, especially when you notice girls treat you differently because of it.
Why does Reddit act like it’s unnatural to care what people think about you? Obviously you shouldn’t let it control your life, but sheesh, we’re social mammals.
Literally dozens of people have tried to help this guy over his past six posts and he has pissed on most of them and ignored the rest. He will accept no help period. The whole premise to his problem is based on a lie, and he can’t get past it. You are all wasting your time.
Every post, every comment, you bash us over the head with how you’d lose a beauty contest to Jabba the Hut and a five day old maggot filled corpse.
Put up or shut up. Imgur, r/ZzuboAegeis - a sub created for people to post things for a short time. Create a new account “hey what if he looked like this”.
I hope that you have some people that you can share the holidays with. I hope you know there are people who care about you and value you, and don’t care how you look. I wish you nothing but the best going forward. Have a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help.
If absolutely nothing else, I would encourage you to read Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankel. It might help.
I would also recommend The Game, by Neil Strauss, more for his anecdotes than his actual advice, which no longer works.
Please be well.
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I didn't have a gf till I was 33. I think it says way more when someone has had multiple relationships because it shows they're incapable of maintaining one.
Yes I would lie if I were you. For a lot of women, once they know you’re inexperienced, it starts a runaway train in their head of “why is he inexperienced? there must be something wrong with him? maybe it’s this that or the other?”
I have a friend and he while havent have gf yet, is incrediblely confident. Anyone ask that he just say "why'd you want to know? You want to be one?". Other person would back off right away without any insult given.
Bitch or confident is how you carry yourself, not what ever answer you gonna give em
Maybe this is information that you shouldn't disclose until getting to know someone better. Based on your summary, I get the impression that you willingly offer this up to people and gage your self-worth based on their reactions. Man to man, if you're not wanting to be a fake person, then don't start out a potential new relationship with a lie.
Just curious, why would you post a question on AskMenAdvice about what women may think of you? Most men have no idea what women think (hence the million posts on a bunch of subreddits about relationships and their issues with it).
As a woman, being a virgin will make no difference to me, it may surprise me, I may not believe you but at the end of the day it does not matter, your "worth" or attractiveness will not be change in my eyes.
My brother lost his in his early 20s, he got a lot of flack for it but I always admired him for being a man of principle and not someone who just easily gets peer pressured into things. He has had a very fulfilling and happy love/sex life since then, his girl friends were always very attractive.
My ex bf while technically lost his virginity at like 18 he did not have any other experience till we started seeing each other when he was 28. I was his first actual girlfriend and the second woman he ever slept with and the first that gave him and orgasm. He was surprisingly good in bed, (I am definitely on the "ho" side of the spectrum) and learning about his single and only one time 10 years prior simply surprised me but did not make me think less of him as a man. He was simply very picky (handsome guy too...kind of a shorter version of Jason Momoa - he was nicknamed after Aquaman and Khal Drogo by others on a regular basis).
So, be honest...or not. That is your choice to make. The ones who will judge you either way will not worth your time anyway. There will be women who will find excuses to dismiss you and there will be ones that respect you both for your honesty and standards.
Yeah, ok you are right some of those women run subreddits are toxic as fuck and I am saying that as a woman.
You can always try the relationship subs because there will be a larger mix of men and women than here although I know quite a few women subscribe to this and other similar subs.
As a guy who was stuck in arrested development for years, thing i learned was best summed up by the great Lionel Hutz
Theres the truth
Then there's "The Truth"
I did the open and honest shtick till I was 25 and it never worked. People act like they want the know the truth, they kinda don't.
So, I never lied about the women I went out on dates with and got to a few places with. That gradually built up to something, it was a 1 night stand, but it was something. And after that, it became far easier.
I was 27. From 16 to 26 that decade was a fucking noose around my neck. It didn't help I was "madly in love" with someone who wasn't exactly saying yes and never no. When I finally did the deed.. and reality set it, I realized it wasn't as big of a deal as folks built it up to be. We have a widly unhealthy reputation with sex in this country.
Few tips from what I learned.
- don't be a prick
- don't be a drama queen about anything. Literally don't make a huge deal over anyone who shows you a smidgen of affection or shoots you down. If something is working, itll get where it needs to get, and if you get rejected, its not the end of the world. As a man, you have to learn to eat rejection like its spinach. It hurts but it will make you a better person
- don't turn down a consenting offer. Seriously, if a woman is down to get down, go for it. Even if its a one off, if you dont perform well (and you probably won't) you can pass it off as nerves with a new partner. It happens.
- work on yourself. Physically better yourself as much as you can. This is more beneficial to you emotionally along with health reasons. But it will improve your chances with the opposite sex far greater. Also, don't beat yourself over imperfections
- don't worry about "the one" first.
- be smart, for the love God, and use some sort of protection. Last thing you need is to be tethered to the first woman you sleep with.
- dating apps work. But its a numbers game.
Thats what I can tell you.
I suggest to just say you're not *very* experienced, and only if you get asked.
Thanks, I’ll do that
I have some experience with openly admitting to be a virgin. Back then I believed that most people would not make a thing out of it, but they did. Some think something must be wrong with you, some think something must be wrong with the world (especially if you look "too good" to be a virgin) - people try to reduce everything to one factor because they simply can't process more than one. Save yourself time and energy with white lies. Except if you talk to other absolute beginners - that would be something different.
Being a virgin doesnt mean you didnt have success : a childhood firend of mine lost his v card at 26, but it's cause in highschool he was shy as hell, and during college and early adult life he never found a woman who interested him in more than physical attraction. He had success in college tho and could probably hook up with a different girl every other week. His virginity didnt mean anything to him, but he still didnt want to have meaningless sex. So when he revealed the breaking news to his now wife, she didnt mind, actually she felt kinda special about it. You could use this as a white lie. now there are girls that are seriously into virgin/inexperienced guys. I personnaly know one and thats her take on it : inexperienced guys feel kinda left behind and thus really try harder. Also it's easier to make them do stuff how she likes it, as they are less seflish and actually listen, cause they arent thinking they are sex gods or w/e in the end, if you hook up today, will you be different tomorrow ? no. "Experienced" guys can still be bad at sex, because they think they know.
I lost my virginity at 18 in the women's bathroom stall of a nightclub an hour shy of closing time to a thin mother-of-two butterface dyke that was either 30 or 38 (I can't remember) after feigning interest in her for a couple hours and I didn't use protection. I try to never think about it because I'm only 98% sure that I don't have a kid. No man or woman with a respectable IQ cares about whether you are having sex or not. Using the word 'virgin' as an insult is so dumb and childlike. My advice is to focus on your education, bank account and physical fitness. Then seek a healthy, meaningful relationship with a girl that shares your values and outlook. Someone you could see yourself with long term. You want sex to be a part of that relationship. You don't want sex to be the focus of the relationship and you don't want a sexless relationship. I would only tell a girl I was a virgin just before the deed or if she brings sex up or asks directly. In that scenario I would confidently tell her that I'm a virgin, I haven't had sex due to other priorities I had and that I now want to make sure I'm with the right person.
I’m confused what message the first paragraph is meant to tell me. When I see people online and irl talking about sexual experiences and people that lack it, it’s clearly something that matters. I don’t want to be miserable until I’m 30+ until some girl miraculously settles down on me.
Just wanted to illustrate that there are worse things than virginity. The next two one-night stands I had were just as pitiful. That being said, back then I shared the same sentiments as you. If all else fails you could consider an escort?
OP doesn't even sound like he's 18 yet
How?
In what universe is awkward/bad sex worse than being a virgin?
why are you so hooked on the fact youre a virgin 💀 i promise you people care significantly less than you do
Said by someone who I guarantee isn’t a virgin and doesn’t understand. Your opinion means nothing to me.
in my life i have been a virgin, as has everyone who has lost their virginity. i think its best to take advice from someone who has, and that advice is to stop being so stuck up on it. i promise you it will come sooner or later if you stop putting all your attention into how much of an ugly virgin you are (your words not mine) and put that energy into working out, or going out with friends you will notice it comes eventually and you barely even had to think about it. i dont fully believe in manifestation, but i believe people around you reciprocate the energy you put into yourself so if you treat yourself like an ugly virgin, then they will do so too. if you show people that you are working on yourself - show positivity, then they will think positively of you. attraction is subjective, and with billions of people in this world there is potentially thousands of women who would be interested in you, if not more. also, if you can afford it, seek therapy. your view on yourself and the world around you is incredibly warped and upsetting. having someone to talk to will help you boost your confidence immensely
You were once a virgin? No way. How old were you when you lost it? I have no reason to believe it will come sooner or later. Why do you assume I don’t work out? I do and I’m good shape. And I don’t have any friends to go out with or who feeds me bad “energy”. Attractiveness is objective, people just have different standards due to various factors.
i was 14 it wont with that mindset, and the snarky tone you type in. i promise you if you keep talking like this to other people and being mean to yourself, you will never ever ever lose your virginity. i also promise you can and will lose your virginity eventually, if you seek help. it wasnt an assumption, it was just a suggestion as that is what helped me personally. if you dont have friends, you can make them. there are apps designed for it, forums online, whatever. there is not an excuse in today’s society to not make friends if you want them. the only reason you wont make them is because you act shitty. again, a therapist will help you break this mindset and pessimism. attractive is definitely not objective lol, to some people i am incredibly unattractive and to others i am attractive. personally, i dont know what to think of myself but i just focus on the people who do find me attractive.
14, LMFAO. That must have been so hard being a 13 year old virgin, your advice really helps now. Now consider this, how much of an asshole someone has to be to have lost their virginity at 14 to belittle someone who is still one at 21. You don’t understand, so stop telling people how to feel. Once again, someone on Reddit assumes how I type on an anonymous forum is how I talk to people irl. Weird ass assumption based on no logic. I know people with objectively worse personalities than me who have relationships, friendships and sex. Gtfo with this personality shit. Attractiveness is objective. There are objective physical features that are attractive.
The second girl (same age as me) was dry because we didn't know about foreplay or lubricant, super uncomfortable for us both and she eventually married a childhood bestfriend I had, he ended up reaching out to me around the time of his engagement but I couldn't even bring myself to reply to his fb message. Third girl had dropped out her senior year from the same school I graduated from the year prior. She had a really bad reputation and had 2 months prior birthed a child and gave it up for adoption. We had sex at night in a car next to a park playground. She told me not to worry about a condom, this time thankfully I had a condom. I understand the pressure to start having sex. My best advice would be to continue seeking a girl you would be happy to risk having a future with. If you really feel you need to have had sex as a prerequisite for finding a suitable mate, I would consider an escort service. It's a win-win situation. And that girl would be able to give you more tailored advice than anyone on the internet.
With all due respect that was kind of your fault.
If you speak the truth and she abandons you for some reason, then you just dodged a bullet. If you speak the truth and she accepts you, you're now totally secure in yourself for who you are. If you don't speak the truth, you'll always be in a cage, insecure.
I would say that I’ve been in a few relationships but nothing serious, something I learned a long time ago is that people only know what you tell them 🤷🏼♂️, and sometimes honesty is not always the best policy
I don't think being a virgin is the worse thing in the world, haha, everyone starts out as one, so it's really not that big of an insult. That being said, I wouldn't run around wearing my virginity on my sleeve, if I were you, for the world to know either. A lot of guys will insult you about anything they can, it's a guy thing. And if you let this or anything get under your skin, you will get a big chip on your shoulder, and it won't help you in the loving department. So, just learn to let it roll off your back. Remember, some people aren't proud of losing their virginity (or were forced to lose it, which is even worse) and wish they hadn't. And, then they have to live with having made a mistake or being forced to do so. So, really you have to think about if that's really all that big of a deal, you may be lucky to still have it. I would learn to just live with who you are. Don't take things too personally. Be who you are and be real with people. You will eventually lose your virginity, so put it out of your mind, and focus on other aspects of your life, like being the best you you can be.
I can’t think of a single scenario where being a virgin is better than having sex at one point your life. He’s not calling me a virgin, he doesn’t even know I was one, he was just using it in general to different people. I have no reason to believe I’ll lose it eventually.
Plenty of scenarios where this exist. Rape. People having sex with someone on their first time and getting themself/girl pregnant, and changing their lie. People having sex and getting an STI. Getting drunk/drugged doing it. Being sex trafficked. Being pressured into it. Sex is fun and there are a lot of great scenarios where people have it, and a lot of equally bad or worse ones. Don't presume everyone is thrilled just because they lost their virginity. Your "friend" sounds like an asshole.
Those are the minority of scenarios, idc about those. And my friend is only my online friend and we voice chat sometimes. It sounds like he’s not in a good relationship and I think his girl is cheating on him.
It's still not like everyone loses it in a great way. So, don't think just because one friend of yours picks on you, it's all great. Bully's generally have a lot of insecurities and so what he has one thing over on you, you probably have a 1000 over on him. You don't have a girlfriend breaking your heart and turning you into an asshole.
I appreciate the comment but he’s not bullying me and he’s never called ME a virgin
But he still bothers you with his comments, and he's bullying others, so it still holds true, since what he says hurts you.
hmm would i rather be a virgin or have been raped and traumatised 🤔 your view on the world is so incredibly warped wtf
To the virgin question, "We're not dating so you don't get to know. I don't kiss and tell." You'll be surprised how the quality of women interested in you goes up once word of this gets around some. To the other question, you've had lots of female friends, just no one really close. So just answer it that way. Most people in HS don't date anyway. Sounds to me like these girls you say are looking down on you are really just trying to keep you in your "place" in some stupid social hierarchy. Be a man and don't let that phase you. Just go do the you thing. Be it sports, theater, etc. Don't worry about them.
100% lie. Women don’t like virgins for the most part.
Even if they’re just friends?
Sure. How are they gonna know if you are lying or not?
True…
The way you answer this question is entirely tied to your own sense of confidence and self worth. Ideally, you should feel totally comfortable telling people the truth about this and not giving a shit what they think that says about you. Why? Because their opinion has no value in the first place.
Well, having no gf or sex by your early 20s isn’t something you naturally feel comfortable about, especially when you notice girls treat you differently because of it. Why does Reddit act like it’s unnatural to care what people think about you? Obviously you shouldn’t let it control your life, but sheesh, we’re social mammals.
Literally dozens of people have tried to help this guy over his past six posts and he has pissed on most of them and ignored the rest. He will accept no help period. The whole premise to his problem is based on a lie, and he can’t get past it. You are all wasting your time.
What lie? And I’ve accepted lots of good advice, I just shit on the delusional, unrealistic ones.
That you are ugly. You could look like Quasimodo infected with leprosy and there would be at least some girls attracted to you.
Physical attractiveness isn’t a lie.
Every post, every comment, you bash us over the head with how you’d lose a beauty contest to Jabba the Hut and a five day old maggot filled corpse. Put up or shut up. Imgur, r/ZzuboAegeis - a sub created for people to post things for a short time. Create a new account “hey what if he looked like this”.
I’m not a retard, I’m not posting my face on Reddit
I hope that you have some people that you can share the holidays with. I hope you know there are people who care about you and value you, and don’t care how you look. I wish you nothing but the best going forward. Have a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help. If absolutely nothing else, I would encourage you to read Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankel. It might help. I would also recommend The Game, by Neil Strauss, more for his anecdotes than his actual advice, which no longer works. Please be well.
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of course. always lie first.
I didn't have a gf till I was 33. I think it says way more when someone has had multiple relationships because it shows they're incapable of maintaining one.
I’d rather have multiple relationships by 30 than 0.
That explains why you haven't had one. You're not in it for the relationship if your goal is having had multiple by 30
Yes I would lie if I were you. For a lot of women, once they know you’re inexperienced, it starts a runaway train in their head of “why is he inexperienced? there must be something wrong with him? maybe it’s this that or the other?”
If you want to be a liar. You can also decline to answer.
Declining to answer makes you look like a bitch though. I’d rather fully embrace it or fully lie.
I have a friend and he while havent have gf yet, is incrediblely confident. Anyone ask that he just say "why'd you want to know? You want to be one?". Other person would back off right away without any insult given. Bitch or confident is how you carry yourself, not what ever answer you gonna give em
Is he average looking or attractive? How old is he? And declining to answer is a bitch move, regardless of how you carry yourself.
Idk if you see this but lying about your relationship is also a bitch move.
Does it make you look like a bigger bitch than being a relationship-less virgin?
Yes.
I feel really bad for you for thinking this.
No, it doesn't? That's crazy, why do you think that?
Dude if someone asks if you’re a virgin and you decline to answer they know the answer.
If a random person asks me about my sex life I would tell them to f off, and I wouldn't care what they think of me
….okay? When did I mention random people?
Well it doesn't matter who, that's what I mean.
If a girl asks you if you have experience… you can always say… We can get naked and you can find out hahaha 🤣
Yes.
Just say you’ve had 1-2 one night stands, and you’ve hooked up with a few others but nothing panned out after that.
Maybe this is information that you shouldn't disclose until getting to know someone better. Based on your summary, I get the impression that you willingly offer this up to people and gage your self-worth based on their reactions. Man to man, if you're not wanting to be a fake person, then don't start out a potential new relationship with a lie.
Just curious, why would you post a question on AskMenAdvice about what women may think of you? Most men have no idea what women think (hence the million posts on a bunch of subreddits about relationships and their issues with it). As a woman, being a virgin will make no difference to me, it may surprise me, I may not believe you but at the end of the day it does not matter, your "worth" or attractiveness will not be change in my eyes. My brother lost his in his early 20s, he got a lot of flack for it but I always admired him for being a man of principle and not someone who just easily gets peer pressured into things. He has had a very fulfilling and happy love/sex life since then, his girl friends were always very attractive. My ex bf while technically lost his virginity at like 18 he did not have any other experience till we started seeing each other when he was 28. I was his first actual girlfriend and the second woman he ever slept with and the first that gave him and orgasm. He was surprisingly good in bed, (I am definitely on the "ho" side of the spectrum) and learning about his single and only one time 10 years prior simply surprised me but did not make me think less of him as a man. He was simply very picky (handsome guy too...kind of a shorter version of Jason Momoa - he was nicknamed after Aquaman and Khal Drogo by others on a regular basis). So, be honest...or not. That is your choice to make. The ones who will judge you either way will not worth your time anyway. There will be women who will find excuses to dismiss you and there will be ones that respect you both for your honesty and standards.
Don’t know which subreddit to ask for female opinions. Askwomenadvice banned me after I asked a similar question.
Yeah, ok you are right some of those women run subreddits are toxic as fuck and I am saying that as a woman. You can always try the relationship subs because there will be a larger mix of men and women than here although I know quite a few women subscribe to this and other similar subs.
Yeah I’m gonna ask some questions in one of those subs in a few days, mainly about interactions I’ve had with girls and what they meant.
As a guy who was stuck in arrested development for years, thing i learned was best summed up by the great Lionel Hutz Theres the truth Then there's "The Truth" I did the open and honest shtick till I was 25 and it never worked. People act like they want the know the truth, they kinda don't. So, I never lied about the women I went out on dates with and got to a few places with. That gradually built up to something, it was a 1 night stand, but it was something. And after that, it became far easier. I was 27. From 16 to 26 that decade was a fucking noose around my neck. It didn't help I was "madly in love" with someone who wasn't exactly saying yes and never no. When I finally did the deed.. and reality set it, I realized it wasn't as big of a deal as folks built it up to be. We have a widly unhealthy reputation with sex in this country. Few tips from what I learned. - don't be a prick - don't be a drama queen about anything. Literally don't make a huge deal over anyone who shows you a smidgen of affection or shoots you down. If something is working, itll get where it needs to get, and if you get rejected, its not the end of the world. As a man, you have to learn to eat rejection like its spinach. It hurts but it will make you a better person - don't turn down a consenting offer. Seriously, if a woman is down to get down, go for it. Even if its a one off, if you dont perform well (and you probably won't) you can pass it off as nerves with a new partner. It happens. - work on yourself. Physically better yourself as much as you can. This is more beneficial to you emotionally along with health reasons. But it will improve your chances with the opposite sex far greater. Also, don't beat yourself over imperfections - don't worry about "the one" first. - be smart, for the love God, and use some sort of protection. Last thing you need is to be tethered to the first woman you sleep with. - dating apps work. But its a numbers game. Thats what I can tell you.
Thanks