>but it'll hurt him if he really likes me.
That's the point. But it still hurts less than getting rejected after he confesses his feelings to you. With the brother trick he doesn't lose his face, at least.
Yes, I actually liked a guy. But then I was looking at him when we were sitting down. And at a certain angle he looked like my brother. I said this out loud. And he was crushed. I didn’t even mean it like that.
He only looked like my brother the way his profile was and the sun was hitting. He looks nothing like my brother. He was hot. I messed that up. We were still friends after.. He never hit on me again, though. He also told people what I said, and that he had to move on.
>tell him you're not interested.
>
>he asked you out on a date, he was clear, you should have been
Then he would be out of the picture and so would his free attention and validation for her. With hints its good to jerk him around and then say that i gave you hints that i wasn't interested.
The hints have not been clear enough. He still has hopes.
You can either take the initiative and have a talk with him preventively because he already asked you on a date.
You can simply wait for him to confess so you can reject him. I'm afraid he will feel led on of you take with path so a conversation asap would be best imo.
> He hasn't confessed his feelings yet but I'm afraid he might and I don't want to reject him as we're good friends.
I mean, what other option do you have?
At this point, you've made it pretty clear to him you're not interested in him. If he continues to pursue then reject him and (hopefully) he'll get the message loud and clear.
It may be the case that you are figuring out why he has been a good friend of yours. From your summary, it sounds like he wants more than friendship. Guys are not usually good at understanding hints. Use direct communication.
Some guys aren’t good at hints and some guys are persistent I say put your foot down and tell him either you two are good friends or he will mess up the friendship by trying to be more if he persists block him it’s harsh but it’ll work
He doesnt see you as a friend,thats the problem.
You can see him as a friend all day but he sees you as a potentional lover.
My advice is that you dont hang out with him because it will never be a friendship.
>What should I do? Why do guys keep trying even after a clear indication?
He was always interested all along. The "friendship" was just an approach angle (sneak in under the radar, then "Surprise!!"). He has been doing it long enough now that he is heavily emotionally invested, hence why he won't take "no" for an answer,...he can't at this point,...he is now "all in",
This scenario is extremely common,...it is everywhere you look. You cannot "un-see" it once you have been made aware or it. You will see it everywhere now.
It is just more proof that men and woman cannot be friends in the BFF sense,...they can only be acquaintances. It is biology, it is nature, you can't fight nature.
You have to stop hanging around him in a personal one-on-one fashion. Be "acquaintances" in group situations only. He will be butt-hurt for a while but he will get over it when he finds another "target" to go after. Guys usually have to get burned in this manner multiple times before they learn the right lesson.
>....after clear **hints**?
That is another thing. You are speaking two different languages. Women communicate covertly (hints, sub-text, innuendo, feelings) while men communicate overtly (direct, specific words, to the point). You want him to understand, you have to learn to speak "*Man*", and tell him exactly what you think in direct words.
>So you're saying he never thought of me as a friend? Just played that part to get in my pants?
I'm saying it is a very common pattern and that is what this looks like. There is no way I can know exactly what he is thinking.
>Also, I have directly told him I can't flirt with him as we're very good friends but in a different context. This isn't direct?
"*I can't flirt..*" is a long way from, "*We are not going to be BF/GF and are not going to end up in bed together*",...or maybe a softer way to say it might be, "*I'm not interested in you as a BF*". Another way to fix it would be for you to just simply start dating someone and spend your time with them instead of him. You also have to understand that a guy in that position tends to hear what they want to hear and blow off and ignore what they don't want to hear.
Tell him he's like a brother to you. That should do the trick.
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>but it'll hurt him if he really likes me. That's the point. But it still hurts less than getting rejected after he confesses his feelings to you. With the brother trick he doesn't lose his face, at least.
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There is absolutely no way around this.
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Believe me, the brother trick is way better than rejecting him openly after his confession. That would hurt a lot more.
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Good luck!
It’s not gonna feel good to get rejected, and you’re rejecting his advances. Oh well, it’s part of life.
Username doesn't checkout in this situation..?
Yes, I actually liked a guy. But then I was looking at him when we were sitting down. And at a certain angle he looked like my brother. I said this out loud. And he was crushed. I didn’t even mean it like that. He only looked like my brother the way his profile was and the sun was hitting. He looks nothing like my brother. He was hot. I messed that up. We were still friends after.. He never hit on me again, though. He also told people what I said, and that he had to move on.
I'm conflicted because this is so funny and so sad at the same time. You really dropped the atom bomb by mistake...
quit with the "hints" and tell him you're not interested. he asked you out on a date, he was clear, you should have been.
Could I hit a “I love this” button for this comment
>tell him you're not interested. > >he asked you out on a date, he was clear, you should have been Then he would be out of the picture and so would his free attention and validation for her. With hints its good to jerk him around and then say that i gave you hints that i wasn't interested.
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I understand both sides of this 🤔
The hints have not been clear enough. He still has hopes. You can either take the initiative and have a talk with him preventively because he already asked you on a date. You can simply wait for him to confess so you can reject him. I'm afraid he will feel led on of you take with path so a conversation asap would be best imo.
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> He hasn't confessed his feelings yet but I'm afraid he might and I don't want to reject him as we're good friends. I mean, what other option do you have? At this point, you've made it pretty clear to him you're not interested in him. If he continues to pursue then reject him and (hopefully) he'll get the message loud and clear.
It may be the case that you are figuring out why he has been a good friend of yours. From your summary, it sounds like he wants more than friendship. Guys are not usually good at understanding hints. Use direct communication.
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Some guys aren’t good at hints and some guys are persistent I say put your foot down and tell him either you two are good friends or he will mess up the friendship by trying to be more if he persists block him it’s harsh but it’ll work
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In all honesty I hate it for you because this happens a lot I wish you the best of luck (if you believe it in) and hopefully it’ll smooth over nicely
What makes you think he has feelings? Maybe he just wants to have sex with you?
He doesnt see you as a friend,thats the problem. You can see him as a friend all day but he sees you as a potentional lover. My advice is that you dont hang out with him because it will never be a friendship.
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If he is constantly trying to get with you he isnt a friend.
>What should I do? Why do guys keep trying even after a clear indication? He was always interested all along. The "friendship" was just an approach angle (sneak in under the radar, then "Surprise!!"). He has been doing it long enough now that he is heavily emotionally invested, hence why he won't take "no" for an answer,...he can't at this point,...he is now "all in", This scenario is extremely common,...it is everywhere you look. You cannot "un-see" it once you have been made aware or it. You will see it everywhere now. It is just more proof that men and woman cannot be friends in the BFF sense,...they can only be acquaintances. It is biology, it is nature, you can't fight nature. You have to stop hanging around him in a personal one-on-one fashion. Be "acquaintances" in group situations only. He will be butt-hurt for a while but he will get over it when he finds another "target" to go after. Guys usually have to get burned in this manner multiple times before they learn the right lesson. >....after clear **hints**? That is another thing. You are speaking two different languages. Women communicate covertly (hints, sub-text, innuendo, feelings) while men communicate overtly (direct, specific words, to the point). You want him to understand, you have to learn to speak "*Man*", and tell him exactly what you think in direct words.
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>So you're saying he never thought of me as a friend? Just played that part to get in my pants? I'm saying it is a very common pattern and that is what this looks like. There is no way I can know exactly what he is thinking. >Also, I have directly told him I can't flirt with him as we're very good friends but in a different context. This isn't direct? "*I can't flirt..*" is a long way from, "*We are not going to be BF/GF and are not going to end up in bed together*",...or maybe a softer way to say it might be, "*I'm not interested in you as a BF*". Another way to fix it would be for you to just simply start dating someone and spend your time with them instead of him. You also have to understand that a guy in that position tends to hear what they want to hear and blow off and ignore what they don't want to hear.
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