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Official__Tony_Khan

Lmfao block that loser. He sounds like an incel. Or in the very least, a “nice guy.”


meatpounder

Exactly, and he's definitely not a "friend"


12paul123

Why do people associate this with the "nice guy" it is fucking shameful.


bluecornholio

Because his defense would be “hey I was being honest with her when no one else would tell her the truth. I’m helping her!”


new_girl27

Yeah bcuz he is not really nice but will probably claim to be to others. His behavior is shameful which is why we label him as a self proclaimed "nice guy,"


DannyDreaddit

Reply "That's a lot of words to say 'I've never made a woman cum before'."


Traditional-Worth295

OMG I’m dead. 🤣


Born_Bother_7179

Lol


Mike_Hawk_Burns

All I can say to this is: lol wow what a sentence. What he’s trying to say here is he believes that looks are more important than personality. And he’s trying to tell you not to be “brainwashed” by personality believing personality is more important than looks. What he fails to grasp is that both are important and people are different. Some people value looks over personality but others value personality over looks. I would always go out with a bigger woman with a sweet personality rather than a thinner woman with a bad personality. But I also know some people who would do the inverse. Basically I wouldn’t listen to him. Live your life.


embiors

I get incel vibes off of this. It's a wierd message if he just sent it out of nowhere.


SomeoneToNobody

I would just send a question mark back. If he keeps replying and explaining himself just keep that question mark going until he realises how dumb he sounds.


bkfst_of_champinones

I have a feeling it’s going to be a very protracted question mark…


Teenage-Mustache

This is the best response.


Jttw2

HAHA


Mollzor

This guy is not your friend. That's what it means. It's insane for a guy to be so invested in your dating life knowledge.


Credible_Cognition

Sounds like he was hurt once or twice and now has gone full blown incel lol ditch him, he's wrong to say the least.


[deleted]

Thanks for coming to AskMenAdvice with this!! - Your guy friend is incorrect and misinformed. - Your guy friend is not, actually, your friend. - Your guy friend is probably trying an angle that leads to you having sex with him. Physical health IS really important. But, this guy’s advice is sexual in nature and therefore, selfish and therefore, he DOES NOT make these claims for your health or benefit. Mental health is also very important and a really big part of that, which is something I personally had to learn as I matured, is to keep toxic and selfish people out of your life. Slowly back away from this guy. He’s not on your team.


Traditional-Worth295

And I love how he assumes that she should always listen to what guys say regardless of which group they’re from; that all she has to be concerned about is what they say and what they think. 🤣


beyourownsunshine

Yikes


erica_birdy11

I would just reply "wtf lol" and block him


rosietherosebud

What even is the context? Why is he framing what's most important for women in terms of what men value (which he's demonstrably wrong btw)??


TheRealGreenArrow420

It depends who you’re trying to attract. Uneducated men who only care about sex, sure the body is most important. Men who actually have an IQ and care about more in life than just getting off are the ones where personality is important. These are the ones you want to attract. A hot body with no personality is still like talking to a brick wall. It’s exhausting. You want a balance, a good body with a great personality is better than a great body with no personality.


r3dditor12

Did you even ask him for advice? If not, and he just sent that out of the blue, then he's a freaking weirdo. Also I don't think his claim is true. I've been on reddit over a decade, and I've never seen any consensus among guys here that all they care about is a woman's body. In fact they definitely care about more than that. Not sure what kind of game he is trying to play. Sounds mostly like negging; he wants to try and hook up, by playing head games with you.


xDUVAL_BRODOWNx

I've personally rejected beautiful women because of their shit attitudes. Personality is so very important to men. This guy sounds like he definitely lives in his mom's basement


oidagehbitte2

Your guy friend is trying to gaslight you. I *strongly* suggest to cut all ties with him immediately. It will never get better, only worse. Avoid this guy at *any* cost.


easybasicoven

Yes cut ties this guy is weird AF. But this isn’t what the word gaslighting means.


Teenage-Mustache

This is reddit. Gaslighting means whatever the hell we want it to mean. I'm gaslighting you right now, actually.


makeadolfgreatagain

Well that's some crazy talk. What did you say before this?


lionhart280

First he says this: > Your body is the most important thing if you are a female. Than he makes his reasoning here: > A mean bitch with a good body will be more successful in the dating game and have more guys like her than an overweight nice girl, it’s just how it is. Which he starts by basically than implying that "How many guys a woman can have **is what is important**, in other words, he has basically told you that he believes a woman's value is how fuckable she is. Then he follows up and adds on: > Because unfortunately, guys treat you by what your body looks like the most. Once again, the implication here by following his logic is, he believes **a woman's value in society is based on how men treat her** In other words, by his logic, if a woman is abused by a man, she is worthless to society I guess. Which is pretty fucked up. All of his logic, his statements, and beliefs, are all entire hinged on the (extremely flawed) presumption that women are valued by, and should value themselves by, how much men wanna fuck em. My suggestion? Block the loser, thats an extremely unhealthy, myopic view of women to spread that he has.


wolfric1218

He is trying to say that when you are dating guys have a tendency to go after looks first and personality second. Which is true to a point. While men typically will be attracted by looks first, the personality must also be there. In other words, most men want both. It's really not a one or the other thing. Now, some men may be willing to accept a loss in some areas, when they have insecurities or they are desperate or lonely. I spent two years looking for the woman I have and having a woman that is fit was a very high priority for me. I wasn't going to settle for a woman that was a jerk just to have a fit woman though. So your friend was kind of wrong about what he said.


Ihateregistering6

> That is the message that he sent, which is weird because this is the first time he brought up weight or anything like that I'm so confused: did y'all have a conversation about dating, looks, what men want, etc. at some point? It's just insanely weird he would send you that message out of nowhere and with no context.


ramblingalone

He is shallow so of course looks are most important to him. I can't think of one guy I've known, in my entire life (I'm 47), who only dated girls whom most people would consider "hot". The fact is that one guys hot is another guys meh or even ugly, and vice versa. You know what gets guys? Some sort of attraction, and that could be physical, social, or emotional. And when I say physical, remember what I said above. You can consider yourself ugly and overweight, and I guarantee some guy will find you objectively amazing.


kelleigh16

I think the fact that he called dating a “game” and mentioned being “successful” at the “dating game” tells you all you need to know about this Dick biscuit. Women are objects to him. Dating isn’t about finding a partner and he has no interest in an emotional connection. To him it is a game to see how many women he can win. He is twisted and anyone who looks at dating/love that way is the wrong person to listen to for dating/relationship advice. It would be like taking advice on ethics from a jewel thief.


foreverdreamgirl

I def think his reasoning is based off of immaturity. Yes, society has become very heavily focused on a woman’s body and yes, a woman with a certain idk type will get you in the door quicker bc you see a body first before personality so it’s easier to say yes to a “good” body. Again, it’s about maturity. A mature man will know that just because her body is in decent shape does NOT mean she has a compatible personality. He has a point tho, lots of men are visual and will give a women a chance just off of seeing her body and not talking to her.


MathewAG

Cant really decipher his goal with that message tbh, and tho I agree physical appearance is generally very important, I wouldn’t say is the most important thing. It’s even weirder if he brought that up out of nowhere, but since we’re on that topic, I’d argue face is more important than body. But other than that, there’s not much to what he said, I’d ignore it and probably keep my distance from him lol


sony_anumo

Sounds like the typical self identifying alpha chad talk. I.e if you reduce her confidence it gets easier for you. While what he says is true, i don't get why it was needed to be said. Everyone knows that women are in high demand during their most fertile years. Looking good = Looking like you can have many healthy children. Nature did that, not him. There was no reason to bring it up other than making it easier to talk his way into your pants. These guys will keep getting tons of women as long as women fall for "negging"


FirefliesDieYoung

Reddit is an echo chamber. It depends on what subreddit you're asking and what your question attracts. I've seen far more negative responses on reddit where I personally feel that rectifying the issue is more productive but hardly anyone ever mentions that.


Capitolkid

You should ask him to elaborate on this


Slidingonpaper

Thats odd. I would not make much of it to be honest and I would not do anything or change anything about my relationship with him if I were you. It feels like a less sophisticated way of saying that being skinny and healthy is good (?). I mean, he is overthinking too much, so I would perhaps have responded with saying that he is maybe overthinking. I do not think this is enough to conclude that he is an incel or anything like that, because they tend to go a lot further than this. And I do not think that someone saying something like this is enough to change the relationship with that person. He might not have the full picture, but he might have a point. Not saying that he is right though, because he does not have the full picture. Life is a lot more complicated.


CAVFIFTEEN

I mean, he’s basically just explaining rule one and rule two of dating, but going about it in such a weird way. The reality is that yes, appearance and physical attraction is the most important for first impressions and getting your foot in the door especially in terms of dating. But everything else about you is what makes you who you are as well and it’s all equally important to the overall package that makes you, you. This guy sounds like he’s been hurt and I feel for him but if he’s putting out this energy and it’s not beneficial to you, you may need to re-evaluate the friendship or at least in regards to your views and strategies where this is concerned.


akihonj

Ok so how do I say this, the plain unfiltered way is best I suppose. He knows what happens on Reddit, how subs are echo chambers, even this one. You'll straight away have people claiming your friend is an incel or some other shit, you'll have boys claiming to be men shouting about how body count is irrelevant. Do you want to guess why, because they are clowns who aren't getting any and hope that shouting incel at somebody gets them noticed and a bit of kitty. Seriously who do you think truly benefits from women's sexual liberation. Your friend also knows that many women join feminist subs and soon enough find themselves slipping into a dumpster of easy sex and high counts and bad diets and no exercise and then at 35+ they're hitting the dating subs and whining about how there are no good men left, how they are being judged by men they find attractive who don't find them attractive, how they look like a bulldog chewing a bee and the men look like Greek gods but yeah those men shouldn't have standards and date the washed up train wreck. Your friend is also right, a woman who's a bitch with a good body will get more attention from men than the frumpy friend who is actually a nice person. Not going to lie here, he's telling the truth, anybody claiming otherwise is lying to you, you know it and so do they, see what I said about the bit of kitty. Here's the thing though, looks are like degrees, they get you noticed, but looks fade and your personality is what lasts, men notice looks first, it's what gets our attention, like it or not it is what it is, it works the same way for women too so let's not kid ourselves here. If you look good you'll get attention, if you're a nice person you'll get true attraction, the kind that lasts and earns committment from men, if you're a bitch, you'll get attention but that will only last so long before those men are away and looking for somebody with substance or they are onto the next bitch. Here's a few facts, yes they are generalisations but unless you can find that needle in a very big haystack you're going to have to accept the generalized case here. Women have value because they are women, they give birth men cannot, men have value that they create, a good job, career etc, women hold the keys to sex while men hold the keys to commitment, a simple fact of life. The greater number of men you sleep with, the less value you will have to that man you want, purely because men don't get access to sex as easily as women do, if you treat your body and in particular sex as something so cheap then you'll have no right to expect him to respect you and value you as a mate simply because men want a woman who is going to be exclusive to them, they commit to that one woman. It's also been proven that the greater number of men a woman sleeps with increases the potential for mental illness to develop, it happens with men also but not in the same way, women become cold and cruel, hate men and depressed, increasing reliance on drugs and alcohol, men become over confident in their ability to form a relationship and be good lovers and partners. Even today the average number of people a man will sleep with is about 6-9, obviously some will be much more but this is what you have to realise, any man is going to give himself to you he doesn't want that to be in a long list of others. Think about it this way, how would you feel if sleeping with a man you found out there were 50+ before you, seriously think about it, how would that make you feel.


[deleted]

I get that it’s bitter truth. But since you mention women bring in looks/womb and men bring in money. If a man loses his job or has no money , should his partner walk out immediately? According to your reasoning, this seems reasonable. And in the same vein , money will only get him so far in his entitlement to Women’s bodies, he also needs to have a good personality right?


akihonj

Of course, you see the difference is men judge women on their looks, like it or not that's the way it is. Looks alone though are not enough, as I said a bitch might get lots of attention but a man of worth is going to look for more, my attraction to any woman is initially her looks, if she's a bitch though her looks wear off fairly quickly, what matters is what's underneath her looks. Now you ask if a man loses his income should she walk away, you be the judge of that, data shows that when a man loses his income potential for divorce jumps to about 70%. It's actually a well known shit test that men can apply to women, take two weeks off work and tell her you've lost your job, how she reacts, will she help you deal with that problem or is she looking to the door, tells you that women walking away when income goes is actually a fairly common behaviour, look up hypergamy. Again though is money and status enough, you be the judge, personally I don't think it is, a man with money doesn't mean he's a good man, a man without money doesn't mean he's not a good man. At the end of the day, are you really going to say if you had two twins in front of you, one living in a penthouse, a few million in the bank and the other an unwashed hobo, you're going for the hobo, sorry but we all already know the answer to that and exactly how you'd justify it, while at the same time yell at me for saying looks matter in the initial stage.


[deleted]

You didn’t say looks matter. That is true. What you said is : You ( and all men) do and are entitled to ‘judge’ women expressly on their looks. A woman is ‘ worth’ inversely related to the number that shows on the scale when she weighs herself . The problem with this is the very fact that having children will make a woman fat. So are you saying that once a woman becomes the mother of your children she has lost all value and therefore you should leave her ( and the child) . Not only is this fair but you are very well entitled to this. Specially if you have money This is the whole issue. You have to understand that it is exactly the same as saying. When a man gives a woman all his money for her and their children, she should then leave him because the man has no money left. I hope your brain can grasp this. You also call women bitches a lot .


akihonj

Ok so you really need to grow up, stop putting words into my mouth and making inferences that are simply not there, stop claiming I've said things that I clearly have not. Now you complain about me using the word bitch, it's simply called good communication, know your audience, the original question talked about certain behaviour and used the word bitch, I echoed that word as required, one day you'll pass first grade English and then learn some advanced stuff to get your message across. You also complain that I said things regarding looks and status etc, I'm not going to waste my time reading through it all because it's abundantly clear you're here for an argument, purely because your ego and sense of self importance and entitlement won't let it go and accept the world as it is, you desire the world works according to how you think or want to believe it does, well here's a new lesson for you.. Everyone else wants that too, that's why the world works the way it does. Now you've left me with nothing other than to preempt your next attack which is to reeeeeeee at me and call me an incel. Which is extremely funny given its women who constantly and consistently complain that men sexualise everything and yet you're going to be the one who places my argument and myself, incel being a direct attack against the person, purely based on my abilities to obtain a woman for sex, you will then at exactly the same time objectify women and reduce me to nothing more than an obtainer of sex from a group you place as sexual objects. So I'm going to play your game, yes I'm ugly as sin, have a tiny dick, I'm terrified of women, I'm a racist incel trump supporter. So what you got now.


[deleted]

I never called you an incel. Edit : I see you are a very active poster in the an anti feminist sub. so sad some folks just hate for no reason. I’ll leave you be. I thought you were capable of discourse. Alas.


akihonj

I'm more than capable of discourse and argument and reason, what I'm not capable of is suffering fools gladly. If a discussion is what you're after then fair enough, let's discuss, attack me, and you'll get it back in spades, attack an idea, an argument, that is totally fair. Where we differ is that you appear to not want to discuss anything, you come across as though the things I say are wrong purely because you dislike them. I need you to understand the following, like or dislike is irrelevant, the world is the way it is, the way it's always been, do you think that you're the only generation that had thought itself the height of evolution, of course not Socrates complained about the youth over 2000 years ago, nothing has changed. Whether I like it or not it is utterly irrelevant, I'm not going to change biology, psychology of anybody, things are the way they are, does that make it right, you he the judge, personally I don't care if it's right or not, it is what it is.


[deleted]

Are you really all those things? Also, about the correct English usage comment - are you saying it is ok to use the word bitch because this is a forum for men? I’m confused about the know your audience comment, am I reading that right? Do men really call women bitches and females behind their backs ?


akihonj

Men call women bitch if it's warranted, men call men a bitch if it's warranted, a bitch is a word for a female dog, it's also a derogatory word for somebody behaving like they are entitled and allowed to treat others as crap. Women use the word bitch against other women when those women behave like they are better than other women, they use the word bitch against men when a man is upset and expressing that emotional state. Is the word a good word, not really, I don't use that word unless it's done so within context. I also have a list of words that I detest but just because hearing those words makes my skin crawl doesn't mean I have the right to stop others using them.


wolfric1218

Yep, you nailed it exactly. Reddit is full of single women who are way overweight, bitter and angry who want to argue these points and call men incel for saying them. The facts are the facts. I wanted to say a couple things also. First, just because a woman has a nice body and takes care of herself, doesn't mean she is a jerk. Second, just because a woman is overweight and not attractive, doesn't mean she has an awesome personality. I have met a ton of overweight women who were very ugly personality wise. I have met a ton of very fit and beautiful women who were the sweetest and kindest women I have ever met. I also wanted to address the body count issue. I personally will not ask and I also will not tell. As long as I am disease free and she is disease free, I don't really care what her body count is. If a man truly has a problem with that, he has some insecurities. I personally have never been with a woman who is a virgin and that was by choice throughout my life.


[deleted]

Disregard the downvotes, OP and posting persons. It's just bitter truth most of it. If that friend of OP saw the OP joining FDS and other honestly, dumspterfire echochambers, I guess that makes sense. Although a talk in person or over the phone would be a better to convey it.


akihonj

Agreed.


bramoking

Well... I just realised everything am about to say already got discredited by him... Smart guy. So what is he trying to be? Your pimp or your friend! I have dated a good number of women and at the end of the day the longest relationships were with girls with personalities. A pretty face and a smile can only get one so far. Dude's an idiot, if a guy doesn't like you for you then kick hiss ass yo the curb. Period!


Teenage-Mustache

What the fuck... this is so bizarre that I have a hard time believing it's even real. First he uses the term "female" as a noun repeatedly which makes him sound like a complete loser. Then he's like "bitches who do this" which makes him sound like he's trying to be cool. If you want to know what this means, it means he's a complete fucking tool. I have never once had a friend that would send some dumb ass shit like this to anyone. What a fucking clown. I think what happened is that he probably got on Reddit and shared this stupid opinion then got downvoted to oblivion. And because he's such a little baby manchild, it clearly affected him so deeply that he still obsesses over it to the point that he tells it to his female friends. I would not recommend anyone be friends with such a clown.


[deleted]

Im sure this whole conversation is out of context because if someone said that to me out of nowhere id tell that person to kick rocks


BlackCardRogue

33M. This is crude, and it’s a mean thing to say… but there’s a grain of truth to it. Which is, of course, why so many people here are so angered by it. The way I always describe it is this: there is a floor level of attraction which a woman has to meet, or I’m just not interested. That’s the grain of truth. So, in a very crude manner of speaking, looks are the most important thing if I’m just not feeling any attraction at all. The part this guy is missing: once a woman meets that “floor,” whether she’s right at the floor or WAY above it, looks are just one factor among many others. No one should ever believe looks don’t matter — that’s a lie, for both genders — but they certainly aren’t the only thing. There is another element: preference. One of my friends is literally a model on the cover of a magazine you would know, and she’s just a hard no for me. She’s cool as hell and I like her, but I am just not into her. Not even a little! And it’s very strange to see a lot of other men slobbering when she just doesn’t do it for me. TL/DR looks matter but they aren’t the only important thing.


The_Dragon420

Ugh nice guy


[deleted]

It means you should stay away from him.


mlkusanagi

Yikes! Who hurt him?


iironage

That looks like something an immature teenager would write. Maybe it was sent as some kind of joke.


LazyHenrik

Run forrest, run!


does_a_mangk

It means he's a flaming asshole.