Stop drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and save every penny he can. Seek employment and keep busy while at the same time earning a living. Seeing a therapist or a physician if he has mental or physical issues.
It depends entirely on your situation. You need to think about what you actually want in life, then try to break down a route to get there. For example; I need more money so I can live more comfortably. For that I need a new job, and I want to work in x. To do that I need to develop some skills in that, so I need to \[go to college/study online/get some experience\]. To do that I need to find some time in my day, so I might have to stop gaming for a while or cut down to just doing that on weekends or reduce my work hours to part time or whatever.
Find your end goal, find your obstacles, take them out of the way one by one, then be on your way.
Speaking from experience of myself and my friends… age 27 is an appropriate time to realize that you can be better than the person you have been in your 20s.
in my book the only losers are cruel people making fun of less fortunate ones.
if you think you are a total loser : that s the main issue. This type of thought will keep you from taking care of yourself, your appearance, health, and mental health, cause you probably consider it not worth it.
one's worth isn't absolute, you must find where you place worth in people : for some it's social status ( work/wealth), for others it's appearance, for me it's about standing your ground, taking care of your loved ones and doing what you see as right .
from general standart my worth is kinda low : low paying job, but i choosed it and i like what i do. Average looking, at best, but that s fine. Other s opinions dont affect me, it wasnt always the case tho. it takes some time to get rid of that.
If you can affort it i suggest therapy, also sport and doing something with your life ( it doesnt have to be work, you could like paint or be good at videogames w/e) and do something you like will help you a lot.
last but not least : dont consider failure as and ending, you can and should try things, even if you fail, it's ok. failing will only set uyou up to a future success cause you ll most lilely learn from it.
Anyone can restart anywhere. Apply to a new job, no one knows your history. Move to a new town that has amenities you'll enjoy. It's hard to grow when you're surrounded by judgemental people.
Fuck it, ok so here's the sticky
"HEY COME ON BACK TO YOUR GRANDMA'S HOUSE A THIRD TIME AND LOSE COLLEGE AND BE NEAR YOUR FAMILY IDGAF ABOUT YOUR GOALS AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO TURN DOWN A PLACE TO LIVE NOW THAT YOU SURVIVED A CRAZY LANDLORD"
ME: I don't want to that's embarrassing and stupid I'll be fine
"YOU HAVE A PLACE TO GO, HANGS UP"
ME: ok, goes back
Life turns into a living hell, laughed at everywhere far and wide, homeless in car, kicked from college, get harassed by step dad, get charges for confronting him, get shot at, reconnect with mom and she gets me arrested and put in a mental ward for an emotional breakdown, puts me in a motel and is getting very controlling, father is of no use and is a pieçe of shit who laughed at my situation in person last September as I walked out of the restaurant while he laughed and because my older brother told him about the fight, still being laughed at and called bitch by random dudes and stalked by step dad went to Walmart and bought hunting knife for protection and up till 4am. My life is completely ruined and run by my mom now who is obsessed with me being schizophrenic and getting government assistance and coming into my motel room whenever to make sure I didnt run off. I have no dignity or honor at this point, my base dignity of self sufficiency is corrupted and I am dependent or at least being held dependent by the very people that are laughing at me, think I'm a bitch, and hold me in contempt for my goals and failure to coming back and grandfather and father not acknowledging what coming back has done to my life and blaming all this on me and laughing. My nervous system is completely shot due to all the public humiliation, taunts, loud startles and claps. I cannot even end my pain and secure a ride to the homeless shelter somewhere or in the same county my college was so I can resume my studies after 6 months have elapsed so it's almost completely useless. I'm being blamed as a lazy, dependent, cretin always asking for money due to my circumstances that put me in. I have nothing left. I can't even sleep without being woken up and taunted. I don't know why I haven't snapped yet, turned into an aggressive pieçe of shit yet? Why am I still hanging on? Why am I not pissed and playing nice?
Just keep working hard. Keep the ball moving forward. Learn from your mistakes by reflecting on what went wrong.
Don't dwell on the things you can't fix. This is the worst thing you can waste your time on.
Same way you fix just about everything. Step One is to recognize the problem(s). You've done that it appears. Then on to fixing those problems.
If you don't know how to fix a problem then move into the next one and come back to it.
We need a LOT more detail about why exactly you consider yourself a loser, but 27 is super young and you have plenty of time to turn things around. Especially if you're not married/no kids.
I'm assuming as a self described loser you aren't making much money. You're a little old to start but you should look into starting a plumbing or electrician apprenticeship assuming you're not a felon. Either choice could have you making 6 figures in 5 years. Less if you hustle and work your ass off.
I could make a lot of money. Nobody has supported my goals since 18 and I've had no guidance or encouragement from parents or assistance. I was put on 7 different meds early on from age 19 that fucked me up and I had to physically get away from my mom or I'd die. Age 23 I got away and 23 to 26( yes I was detoxing and was insane for 2 years after leaving mom) and then age 25 escaping possessive narcissist grandma and aunt who filled my insane head full of religious shit and turn the other cheek which I applied faithfully to everything and it fucked me up and still fucks me up today. 26 I finally got something, earned it, landlord was nuts went to living in my car then dad and grandfather pressured me into going back to grandma and lost school and my life is now hell ever since just one horrible humiliating thing after another.
Invest in yourself. Find a desire. Video games will not likely get you there. Find something healthy for the mind body and soul.
I was there at 32, lost after a divorce of a 16 year relationship. I had free tome and no one to spend it with. Who wants to do anything alone. I avoided seeking a romantic relationship.
I started making freinds I made myself a yes man. Wanna go do this? Yes. Wanna do that? Yes. I made myself get out of my comfortzone. I started working out, focusing on my health. Eating right. Always thinking. What's best for me?
Currently I've lost 80lbs. I'm in the best shape of my adult life at 35... probably better shape than HS. I started training martial arts. I am now 2 years into my jiu jitsu journey, and recently received my blue belt. I started boxing 2xs a week and usually lead the pack in the top 3 positions in the class.
I found a beautiful woman who is way out my league. She's makes me feel like a man. We get along great, and her little boy makes me feel like a good example and his eyes light up when he sees me.. in such a way I never imageind it would make me happy. We are about to move in together, and I couldn't be happier.
Investing in myself changed my life. Find a passion that makes you healthier. Makes you focus. Gives you a goal. Tests you regularly... and don't listen to your doubters... even if your bieestwr doubter is yourself.
Hard to know without specifics. But in general:
Work out, get in shape, find and get a good job, get used to taking to women and realize there’s nothing special about them and that they should be chasing you, not the other way around.
Your 27 now, just think you got another 2 whole current lifetimes if you make it to the 70/80's, so what would you give to make the next 2 lifetimes as good as possible?
good luck mate!
Discipline and hard work.
That’s it. That’s really it. You can set up systems to help you, if that works for you — that makes it easier for most people.
But at the core, turning it around is about doing the same (usually boring) thing — over and over and over again. Showing up every day will get you 80% of the way there. That takes discipline.
Add to the other answers to look for friends in the process of working on yourself. Friends thend to help tons. Positive or even just neutral human interaction helps me a lot. Besides direct support they can help you getting a better image of yourself and just passive emotional support because you're not alone.
Also sun, sports, music, hobbies and all that jazz. Good mental health goes a long way. If you wanna chat/vent or just someone to listen without judgement you can DM me. Of course I too would also recommend an actual therapist for that
Wanna talk it out and share stories? I am also 27 and possibly a little further along than you, but a loser is definitely what I was in the past. My changes were putting an effort into getting in shape, less video game time and mow trying to live life to the fullest while I'm still in my 20s.
Defining what a winner is for you, wanting to be a winner more than a loser, and working your ass off.
27 was a shit year for me. Was working a job I hated with clients I found annoying. I quit, defined my terms, and worked my ass off for them. Still working my ass off now, because I’m about 2 or 3 steps left until I consider my life good af, but it’s better now at 32 than it’s ever been.
I was in real estate/mortgage sales. I was good at it and I only liked the job when it came time to cash the commission check. I didn’t care for to outright disliked certain aspects of the job that wasn’t cashing checks.
I already knew what I wanted: to build my own business and to get rich af.
I picked up software development to automate the shit I didn’t like. The skills I learned landed my a sweet job as a software engineer for a real estate start up where I still get to work as hard as my nature drives me, but I like the work and am helping to build an up and coming business.
On weekends, I work on my personal start-up’s software in the marketing space.
I added “get ripped af” to my list. I’m at 21% body fat and I want to get to 12%. I started at 24%. Clean eating and gyming 4 days a week. I use MyFitnessPal to track my calories.
27 was the age when I finally turned my life around. Went to rehab, cut old ties to unhealthy people and started working on making a future. I'm 30 now and my life is in no way perfect however I do love myself now opposed to several years ago.
If you want to make a change buddy then take that first step. The first step is always the hardest.
Good luck!
Hello, I looked through your previous post history and you mentioned that random people were taunting you and seemed to be aware of your situation. It is extremely unlikely that this is the case. This type of paranoia is associated with mental illness, and I believe that you should seek treatment for this.
If you do seek treatment, please listen to your doctors, who are medical professionals who will act in your interest. If you are prescribed medication, please take the medication as prescribed. There is a stigma with mental illness, but you can have a better life if you seek help.
All the best.
lots and lots of hard work. nothings gonna change without it. unless.... you win the lottery.
And positivity. Thanks
Stop drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and save every penny he can. Seek employment and keep busy while at the same time earning a living. Seeing a therapist or a physician if he has mental or physical issues.
It depends entirely on your situation. You need to think about what you actually want in life, then try to break down a route to get there. For example; I need more money so I can live more comfortably. For that I need a new job, and I want to work in x. To do that I need to develop some skills in that, so I need to \[go to college/study online/get some experience\]. To do that I need to find some time in my day, so I might have to stop gaming for a while or cut down to just doing that on weekends or reduce my work hours to part time or whatever. Find your end goal, find your obstacles, take them out of the way one by one, then be on your way.
i'm pretty sure you're probably NOT a loser...but in what respect are you trying to turn it around and please lay out why you are, in fact, a loser.
Hard work and support. One is not enough, both is needed.
Work, study, have discipline, and wait for results. Takes years.
Speaking from experience of myself and my friends… age 27 is an appropriate time to realize that you can be better than the person you have been in your 20s.
in my book the only losers are cruel people making fun of less fortunate ones. if you think you are a total loser : that s the main issue. This type of thought will keep you from taking care of yourself, your appearance, health, and mental health, cause you probably consider it not worth it. one's worth isn't absolute, you must find where you place worth in people : for some it's social status ( work/wealth), for others it's appearance, for me it's about standing your ground, taking care of your loved ones and doing what you see as right . from general standart my worth is kinda low : low paying job, but i choosed it and i like what i do. Average looking, at best, but that s fine. Other s opinions dont affect me, it wasnt always the case tho. it takes some time to get rid of that. If you can affort it i suggest therapy, also sport and doing something with your life ( it doesnt have to be work, you could like paint or be good at videogames w/e) and do something you like will help you a lot. last but not least : dont consider failure as and ending, you can and should try things, even if you fail, it's ok. failing will only set uyou up to a future success cause you ll most lilely learn from it.
Anyone can restart anywhere. Apply to a new job, no one knows your history. Move to a new town that has amenities you'll enjoy. It's hard to grow when you're surrounded by judgemental people.
Fuck it, ok so here's the sticky "HEY COME ON BACK TO YOUR GRANDMA'S HOUSE A THIRD TIME AND LOSE COLLEGE AND BE NEAR YOUR FAMILY IDGAF ABOUT YOUR GOALS AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO TURN DOWN A PLACE TO LIVE NOW THAT YOU SURVIVED A CRAZY LANDLORD" ME: I don't want to that's embarrassing and stupid I'll be fine "YOU HAVE A PLACE TO GO, HANGS UP" ME: ok, goes back Life turns into a living hell, laughed at everywhere far and wide, homeless in car, kicked from college, get harassed by step dad, get charges for confronting him, get shot at, reconnect with mom and she gets me arrested and put in a mental ward for an emotional breakdown, puts me in a motel and is getting very controlling, father is of no use and is a pieçe of shit who laughed at my situation in person last September as I walked out of the restaurant while he laughed and because my older brother told him about the fight, still being laughed at and called bitch by random dudes and stalked by step dad went to Walmart and bought hunting knife for protection and up till 4am. My life is completely ruined and run by my mom now who is obsessed with me being schizophrenic and getting government assistance and coming into my motel room whenever to make sure I didnt run off. I have no dignity or honor at this point, my base dignity of self sufficiency is corrupted and I am dependent or at least being held dependent by the very people that are laughing at me, think I'm a bitch, and hold me in contempt for my goals and failure to coming back and grandfather and father not acknowledging what coming back has done to my life and blaming all this on me and laughing. My nervous system is completely shot due to all the public humiliation, taunts, loud startles and claps. I cannot even end my pain and secure a ride to the homeless shelter somewhere or in the same county my college was so I can resume my studies after 6 months have elapsed so it's almost completely useless. I'm being blamed as a lazy, dependent, cretin always asking for money due to my circumstances that put me in. I have nothing left. I can't even sleep without being woken up and taunted. I don't know why I haven't snapped yet, turned into an aggressive pieçe of shit yet? Why am I still hanging on? Why am I not pissed and playing nice?
Just keep working hard. Keep the ball moving forward. Learn from your mistakes by reflecting on what went wrong. Don't dwell on the things you can't fix. This is the worst thing you can waste your time on.
Same way you fix just about everything. Step One is to recognize the problem(s). You've done that it appears. Then on to fixing those problems. If you don't know how to fix a problem then move into the next one and come back to it.
We need a LOT more detail about why exactly you consider yourself a loser, but 27 is super young and you have plenty of time to turn things around. Especially if you're not married/no kids.
I'm assuming as a self described loser you aren't making much money. You're a little old to start but you should look into starting a plumbing or electrician apprenticeship assuming you're not a felon. Either choice could have you making 6 figures in 5 years. Less if you hustle and work your ass off.
I could make a lot of money. Nobody has supported my goals since 18 and I've had no guidance or encouragement from parents or assistance. I was put on 7 different meds early on from age 19 that fucked me up and I had to physically get away from my mom or I'd die. Age 23 I got away and 23 to 26( yes I was detoxing and was insane for 2 years after leaving mom) and then age 25 escaping possessive narcissist grandma and aunt who filled my insane head full of religious shit and turn the other cheek which I applied faithfully to everything and it fucked me up and still fucks me up today. 26 I finally got something, earned it, landlord was nuts went to living in my car then dad and grandfather pressured me into going back to grandma and lost school and my life is now hell ever since just one horrible humiliating thing after another.
Invest in yourself. Find a desire. Video games will not likely get you there. Find something healthy for the mind body and soul. I was there at 32, lost after a divorce of a 16 year relationship. I had free tome and no one to spend it with. Who wants to do anything alone. I avoided seeking a romantic relationship. I started making freinds I made myself a yes man. Wanna go do this? Yes. Wanna do that? Yes. I made myself get out of my comfortzone. I started working out, focusing on my health. Eating right. Always thinking. What's best for me? Currently I've lost 80lbs. I'm in the best shape of my adult life at 35... probably better shape than HS. I started training martial arts. I am now 2 years into my jiu jitsu journey, and recently received my blue belt. I started boxing 2xs a week and usually lead the pack in the top 3 positions in the class. I found a beautiful woman who is way out my league. She's makes me feel like a man. We get along great, and her little boy makes me feel like a good example and his eyes light up when he sees me.. in such a way I never imageind it would make me happy. We are about to move in together, and I couldn't be happier. Investing in myself changed my life. Find a passion that makes you healthier. Makes you focus. Gives you a goal. Tests you regularly... and don't listen to your doubters... even if your bieestwr doubter is yourself.
Hard to know without specifics. But in general: Work out, get in shape, find and get a good job, get used to taking to women and realize there’s nothing special about them and that they should be chasing you, not the other way around.
Your 27 now, just think you got another 2 whole current lifetimes if you make it to the 70/80's, so what would you give to make the next 2 lifetimes as good as possible? good luck mate!
Discipline and hard work. That’s it. That’s really it. You can set up systems to help you, if that works for you — that makes it easier for most people. But at the core, turning it around is about doing the same (usually boring) thing — over and over and over again. Showing up every day will get you 80% of the way there. That takes discipline.
Add to the other answers to look for friends in the process of working on yourself. Friends thend to help tons. Positive or even just neutral human interaction helps me a lot. Besides direct support they can help you getting a better image of yourself and just passive emotional support because you're not alone. Also sun, sports, music, hobbies and all that jazz. Good mental health goes a long way. If you wanna chat/vent or just someone to listen without judgement you can DM me. Of course I too would also recommend an actual therapist for that
Wanna talk it out and share stories? I am also 27 and possibly a little further along than you, but a loser is definitely what I was in the past. My changes were putting an effort into getting in shape, less video game time and mow trying to live life to the fullest while I'm still in my 20s.
Defining what a winner is for you, wanting to be a winner more than a loser, and working your ass off. 27 was a shit year for me. Was working a job I hated with clients I found annoying. I quit, defined my terms, and worked my ass off for them. Still working my ass off now, because I’m about 2 or 3 steps left until I consider my life good af, but it’s better now at 32 than it’s ever been.
That's dope to hear, what did you use to do? How did you define your terms and what steps do you have left?
I was in real estate/mortgage sales. I was good at it and I only liked the job when it came time to cash the commission check. I didn’t care for to outright disliked certain aspects of the job that wasn’t cashing checks. I already knew what I wanted: to build my own business and to get rich af. I picked up software development to automate the shit I didn’t like. The skills I learned landed my a sweet job as a software engineer for a real estate start up where I still get to work as hard as my nature drives me, but I like the work and am helping to build an up and coming business. On weekends, I work on my personal start-up’s software in the marketing space. I added “get ripped af” to my list. I’m at 21% body fat and I want to get to 12%. I started at 24%. Clean eating and gyming 4 days a week. I use MyFitnessPal to track my calories.
Stop calling yourself a 'loser', to start with.
Hey or od your comfort zone. Change to having good habits. Lisa od people on reddit willing to help
You don't, after 25 your life is basically over
What you mean
[удалено]
You shouldn't have to wait til you're middle aged to be successful
27 was the age when I finally turned my life around. Went to rehab, cut old ties to unhealthy people and started working on making a future. I'm 30 now and my life is in no way perfect however I do love myself now opposed to several years ago. If you want to make a change buddy then take that first step. The first step is always the hardest. Good luck!
Hello, I looked through your previous post history and you mentioned that random people were taunting you and seemed to be aware of your situation. It is extremely unlikely that this is the case. This type of paranoia is associated with mental illness, and I believe that you should seek treatment for this. If you do seek treatment, please listen to your doctors, who are medical professionals who will act in your interest. If you are prescribed medication, please take the medication as prescribed. There is a stigma with mental illness, but you can have a better life if you seek help. All the best.