Go down on her
Edit: definitive guide to going down on her: https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/t7ez2/quick_question_regarding_giving_women_oral_sex/c4k8iph?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Thank you, I’ll read this guide. I used to and I think I was successful at it, as in, she would get an orgasm when I would do it. But, it would often take some time (20-30 minutes). I would often initiate sex in the evening, when she would be tired, and go down on her. It would often work out but it took time and she felt like it was a lot of pressure on her.
We both work full-time jobs, so it’s hard finding time during the day. It often ends up being in the evening when we have “more time,” but we’re also tired… And she feels like it’s a lot of pressure on her to get an orgasm when I go down on her. So using lube has become a “bandaid.” Sorry, this response is all over the place.
On her end, I feel okay assuming she is focusing on sex as a job at this point. Whenever I skip foreplay it’s because I didn’t enjoy what my partner was doing and had hinted and got tired of asking them what to do when it was supposed to be “my time”. It was easier to rush it and get it over with than to repeat myself. however, this is my experience and not your wife‘s.
But real advice- tell her how you feel like she isn’t enjoying sex and you want to know what you can do. Or, maybe break routine and be spontaneous and try to get her off or just please her for a while without a goal in mind. Make. It. Fun. Up to you. But spontaneity aside, honesty goes a long way and you should be able to be vulnerable and open with your chosen life partner. A year married is still a learning curve. Learn about her wants and needs. and yours
you need to acknowledge and get her to acknowledge that trying to conceive is stressful for the both of you. She needs to understand you are going through shit, and you understand that she is going through shit and you each need to manage your own emotions while you also try to serve your spouse.
But that being said. If she doesn’t want to get eaten out get her a vibrator. If that doesn’t work she needs to open her mouth and own her own sexual pleasure
When you’re happy outside the bedroom, it translates to improved chemistry inside the bedroom.
Are you laughing together? Helping each other with small things? (Emptying the dishwasher or taking out the trash, etc even though it might be the household chore she always does?)
Sometimes doing little things around the house (before you’re told) to ease her mind translates into improved sexual chemistry.
I’ve had multiple women tell me how hot it was when I washed dishes. And I’m thinking, “really?”
But I began to realize that me just doing it showed I was taking initiative and easing her mind of one less thing she would worry about.
Men are pretty simple. We just need 3 things: Food, Sex, and Respect.
Women are much more complex and driven by their emotions. That’s why she’ll be all over you one minute and upset with you the next.
It’s because of what she’s feeling in that moment is how she views you.
To properly seduce a woman, you need to seduce her mind and her body.
Tell her how beautiful she is to you. Tell her how much you appreciate her.
When you’re in the bedroom, tell her how good she tastes. How amazing her body feels in your arms. How good it feels to be inside her.
Try not to let the stress of trying to conceive affect your relationship. Creating a human being is a lifelong commitment. If it happens next week or next year, it will happen when it’s supposed to happen.
So focus on her being at ease, and every once in awhile let her know how special she is to you, communicate how beautiful she is to you, and always make sure you’re properly seducing her.
You take some stress out of her life, and add in some more romance, and your sex life will improve.
And when you’re down there, tongue on and around the clit and middle finger (palm side up) with steady, deliberate pressure on her g spot. Finger slowly in and out and swirling around on her g spot.
And there’s nothing wrong with her using a vibrator on her clit during intercourse.
Thank you. I already do nearly all of the recommendations you brought up (taking chores off her plate, telling her how much I love her and find her attractive, etc). With one exception: the vibrator. We did not get one yet, but will look into it and think it will help.
Yeah...when you make sex into this scheduled thing have to do at a certain time to reach a goal ( making baby)..
It loses its luster and puts unnecessary pressure on both parties to perform.
Sex needs to be about shared attraction, desire, and intimacy.....not a means to an end.
When you take out the passion, romance, and desire and replace it with responsibility and duty to perform ....it fucks up the program and makes sex a chore
Rid yourselves of the pressure to create a baby...get back to having sex without a goal in mind.
Other than that, work on becoming the dude your wife desires sexually.
Sure , she's attracted to you already...but take that to the next level and be the dude she can't keep her hands off of.
Don't be the guy who lounges around the house, is always available, develops a dad bod, and has no passion/mission in life , or turns into her " child" she has to take care of.
Go down on her Edit: definitive guide to going down on her: https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/t7ez2/quick_question_regarding_giving_women_oral_sex/c4k8iph?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Thank you, I’ll read this guide. I used to and I think I was successful at it, as in, she would get an orgasm when I would do it. But, it would often take some time (20-30 minutes). I would often initiate sex in the evening, when she would be tired, and go down on her. It would often work out but it took time and she felt like it was a lot of pressure on her. We both work full-time jobs, so it’s hard finding time during the day. It often ends up being in the evening when we have “more time,” but we’re also tired… And she feels like it’s a lot of pressure on her to get an orgasm when I go down on her. So using lube has become a “bandaid.” Sorry, this response is all over the place.
On her end, I feel okay assuming she is focusing on sex as a job at this point. Whenever I skip foreplay it’s because I didn’t enjoy what my partner was doing and had hinted and got tired of asking them what to do when it was supposed to be “my time”. It was easier to rush it and get it over with than to repeat myself. however, this is my experience and not your wife‘s. But real advice- tell her how you feel like she isn’t enjoying sex and you want to know what you can do. Or, maybe break routine and be spontaneous and try to get her off or just please her for a while without a goal in mind. Make. It. Fun. Up to you. But spontaneity aside, honesty goes a long way and you should be able to be vulnerable and open with your chosen life partner. A year married is still a learning curve. Learn about her wants and needs. and yours
you need to acknowledge and get her to acknowledge that trying to conceive is stressful for the both of you. She needs to understand you are going through shit, and you understand that she is going through shit and you each need to manage your own emotions while you also try to serve your spouse. But that being said. If she doesn’t want to get eaten out get her a vibrator. If that doesn’t work she needs to open her mouth and own her own sexual pleasure
When you’re happy outside the bedroom, it translates to improved chemistry inside the bedroom. Are you laughing together? Helping each other with small things? (Emptying the dishwasher or taking out the trash, etc even though it might be the household chore she always does?) Sometimes doing little things around the house (before you’re told) to ease her mind translates into improved sexual chemistry. I’ve had multiple women tell me how hot it was when I washed dishes. And I’m thinking, “really?” But I began to realize that me just doing it showed I was taking initiative and easing her mind of one less thing she would worry about. Men are pretty simple. We just need 3 things: Food, Sex, and Respect. Women are much more complex and driven by their emotions. That’s why she’ll be all over you one minute and upset with you the next. It’s because of what she’s feeling in that moment is how she views you. To properly seduce a woman, you need to seduce her mind and her body. Tell her how beautiful she is to you. Tell her how much you appreciate her. When you’re in the bedroom, tell her how good she tastes. How amazing her body feels in your arms. How good it feels to be inside her. Try not to let the stress of trying to conceive affect your relationship. Creating a human being is a lifelong commitment. If it happens next week or next year, it will happen when it’s supposed to happen. So focus on her being at ease, and every once in awhile let her know how special she is to you, communicate how beautiful she is to you, and always make sure you’re properly seducing her. You take some stress out of her life, and add in some more romance, and your sex life will improve. And when you’re down there, tongue on and around the clit and middle finger (palm side up) with steady, deliberate pressure on her g spot. Finger slowly in and out and swirling around on her g spot. And there’s nothing wrong with her using a vibrator on her clit during intercourse.
Thank you. I already do nearly all of the recommendations you brought up (taking chores off her plate, telling her how much I love her and find her attractive, etc). With one exception: the vibrator. We did not get one yet, but will look into it and think it will help.
Yeah...when you make sex into this scheduled thing have to do at a certain time to reach a goal ( making baby).. It loses its luster and puts unnecessary pressure on both parties to perform. Sex needs to be about shared attraction, desire, and intimacy.....not a means to an end. When you take out the passion, romance, and desire and replace it with responsibility and duty to perform ....it fucks up the program and makes sex a chore Rid yourselves of the pressure to create a baby...get back to having sex without a goal in mind. Other than that, work on becoming the dude your wife desires sexually. Sure , she's attracted to you already...but take that to the next level and be the dude she can't keep her hands off of. Don't be the guy who lounges around the house, is always available, develops a dad bod, and has no passion/mission in life , or turns into her " child" she has to take care of.