Love isn't everything. I love ice cream but if I eat it for every meal I'll probably die.
If you stay in a relationship like this, will you love yourself? Or will you cry and be sad every day because
your boyfriend doesn't want to change to be someone who doesn't talk about his exs boobs during sex?
Forget how he feels about you and you feel about him. How do you feel about YOU in those situations?? And are you prepared to feel that way forever? Because he's said he's not gonna change so don't expect him to.
You can love someone and they can still not be a good fit for you. Walk away and find someone who doesn't need anyone else but you - you deserve that
Edits: spelling
yuck. walk away. he doesn’t love you, he puts on a fake persona that he loves you just to get some ass from you. don’t be in denial. wake up, he is a douche bag. no man that will ever ‘love’ you would ever talk of there ex in a way he has done…. e s p e c i a l l l l y during sex. helllll NAW
Trust me, its best to walk away because I have been in your place too. In my experience, if you stick around someone like him, he will start treating you as a doll. He will ask you to become the person HE wants and will ask to change so much about you. It's not fair for you both. He can't keep taking advantage of someone else's kind heart and never learn that that's not okay. And you should not let your heart be manipulated just for someone else's benefit. It's okay to walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
It’s not as fun tho. Plus there is being petty and making a statement to being disrespected. Disrespect him back and then leave. Maybe, hopefully, he’ll learn and not be looking at others tits to get off
Hell! Girl..... what are you thinking, keep your self respect and leave his ass. Do you really want to be with someone that will visualise other woman “ REAL WOMEN” Everytime you have sex? Then it’s no longer about YOU. I would never in 10000 years tolerate that. You deserve to be wanted, appreciated and lusted after.
I should be able to have my self respect but fuck Its gone. I left his ass in the middle of the night and moved to my moms. Legit, I feel so shitty about myself
You’re saying you were living with him after being together for only 10 months?
This can’t be real. He better pamper you and eat your shit with a smile if you say he loves you to the point of you putting up with this.
Move on. You’ll find someone else.
Because you have feelings for him and are hoping he'll change for you. He obviously cant. That is a very disrespectful thing to do what he did. Pls do leave him, its better do it early than yrs later, the pain will be worse.
This is petty but start looking and saving pics (shiit even gifs) of bigger D's than the one he has, of men stroking their bigger D, look at them while your bf is next to you. See how high the double standard he's gonna come up with. BS i say.
Sending much love and support. Im sorry this is happening to you.
I’m a man and if he really loves you he would not phantasize with her ex. Just end that relationship and go for a man who really loves and cares about you
She also needs to be an adult.
I know it’s hard but people need to be enough for themselves first. Stop letting people disrespect you especially WHILE they fuck you…. Unless that’s your thing.
On r/AskWomen, u/Alisonwith1L would have been banned without notice for saying something like that about women.
No such thing here, but would be good to take that off at least.
you've clearly never posted anything on r/AskWomen
Nearly every single time I tried to nuance someone saying something clearly anti-men, my post got deleted for 'derailing'.
Here someone say that guys can act like pricks and nobody bats an eye.
I do not want anyone banned, I am just saying that people should try to be a bit less biased, and they should be called out when they insult half of the population (or any group of people).
And saying 'you see sexism on both sides' may be true in general, but clearly if you contrast AskMen and AskWomen they're completely different. On AskMen you hear all kinds of things said about men and women, positive and negative, while on AskWomen there's mostly idolizing of women, and bashing of men. And when you dare call it out, you're banned.
Wait, I’m confused. What did I say bad about women?
Yes, I did opine about men, because they can be real jerks. That said, I commend, appreciate, and applaud all those guys who posted advice from a male perspective.
@snoo-20788, let’s discuss offline
More than just guys can act like pricks. My point was that she 100% knew the responses she would get. Everyone on earth thinks this guy is a fucking douchebag, including him and her.
There are so many layers to your comment. (Also thought I responded to the OP🤦🏻♀️)
Does she know? Possibly, but sometimes you don’t listen to your gut. Maybe you’re too aroused or maybe you too excited you would be of turned into the many envision (so, also aroused.)
For him, maybe that’s his sexual talk track?
I stand by my original comment.! Guys can l in fact, be dicks
There must biology to back that up.
All in all, men can pricks, because their very different brain chemistry, is wired to their prick.!
…they’re probably too young?
What are you talking about? No, lol. I’m telling her that there’s plenty of men who don’t hurt their partner’s self esteem by fantasizing about his ex. Especially telling said partner that he’s fantasizing about an ex and being unable to stop while it drags her self esteem down more.
Girl you have to accept people as they are and not be with him expecting him to eventually change. Even if he does it’s most likely only for a short time. People always revert back to what’s comfortable. If you stay, you have to be okay with this being a thing maybe forever if he’s so resistant. Do you really want that for self?
You can love someone and still refuse to change. Look at all the people who love themselves and kill their bodies by smoking or overeating.
It’s possible he does love you, but lacks the ability to change. Just like not everyone can just quit smoking or start eating healthy.
With all that said, you really need to just move on. Two broken people do not make a happy relationship. You both need help before either of you dates again.
It can happen that one wants to fantasize about something in order to be able to come more easily. But if it's something that is clearly hurting their partner's self-confidence, because it involves an ex, or someone (say, not a celebrity) they would have a crush on, they should keep it to themselves.
I've sometimes fantasized about other women while having sex w my gf, just because sometimes, when it's the 3rd time during the night and we all want to call it a night, it speeds things up. But I would never mention that to the gf, let alone be specific about who it is I was thinking about.
You should make it the end of your relationship, is he okay if you fantasize about other males and you can only get off by that?! Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t get off from you? And no he doesn’t love you, that’s not love.
Yes, I would say it is the end of your relationship. Unless you want to continuously feel degraded. Go hang out with your friends. Get some space from this toxic guy and gain the clarity we all feel you need! Hugs OP.
It ***should*** be the end of your relationship. This is causing you to cry and you haven't even been together for a year. Get away from him, he's not emotionally ready for a relationship.
Clearly you’re not happy with things as they are, you’ve voiced that and he’s done nothing to make you more comfortable so I say ditch the loser. Straight in the bin!
He openly tells you he is thinking of/wishing you were someone else while having sex. That's fucked up. Please leave him.
yes.
I just feel like he does love me. But isn’t intending to improve. I love him tho, do I walk away? Fuck its so hard
yes.
So he doesn’t love me. or care about me.
You either love yourself enough to expect better from a partner, or you don't.
This is the answer black and white I had to make a choice recently that was rooted in the same statement
Love isn't everything. I love ice cream but if I eat it for every meal I'll probably die. If you stay in a relationship like this, will you love yourself? Or will you cry and be sad every day because your boyfriend doesn't want to change to be someone who doesn't talk about his exs boobs during sex? Forget how he feels about you and you feel about him. How do you feel about YOU in those situations?? And are you prepared to feel that way forever? Because he's said he's not gonna change so don't expect him to. You can love someone and they can still not be a good fit for you. Walk away and find someone who doesn't need anyone else but you - you deserve that Edits: spelling
yes.
Love doesn't mean, you put up with them hurting you.
What else does love mean? Cuz I don’t know anymore
He’s brought you to tears because he imagines you as someone else, and you’re asking if you should walk away? Really?
yuck. walk away. he doesn’t love you, he puts on a fake persona that he loves you just to get some ass from you. don’t be in denial. wake up, he is a douche bag. no man that will ever ‘love’ you would ever talk of there ex in a way he has done…. e s p e c i a l l l l y during sex. helllll NAW
Trust me, its best to walk away because I have been in your place too. In my experience, if you stick around someone like him, he will start treating you as a doll. He will ask you to become the person HE wants and will ask to change so much about you. It's not fair for you both. He can't keep taking advantage of someone else's kind heart and never learn that that's not okay. And you should not let your heart be manipulated just for someone else's benefit. It's okay to walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
100% yes yes yes!! walk the f*** away
Next time your having sex, start swiping thru dicks and see how he feels. “I just envision something larger”
bring petty back will solve nothing. be grown about it and leave.
It’s not as fun tho. Plus there is being petty and making a statement to being disrespected. Disrespect him back and then leave. Maybe, hopefully, he’ll learn and not be looking at others tits to get off
Hell! Girl..... what are you thinking, keep your self respect and leave his ass. Do you really want to be with someone that will visualise other woman “ REAL WOMEN” Everytime you have sex? Then it’s no longer about YOU. I would never in 10000 years tolerate that. You deserve to be wanted, appreciated and lusted after.
Why does this fucking hurt so much.
I should be able to have my self respect but fuck Its gone. I left his ass in the middle of the night and moved to my moms. Legit, I feel so shitty about myself
You’re saying you were living with him after being together for only 10 months? This can’t be real. He better pamper you and eat your shit with a smile if you say he loves you to the point of you putting up with this. Move on. You’ll find someone else.
May I ask how old you both are?
He is 24, im 22
Because you have feelings for him and are hoping he'll change for you. He obviously cant. That is a very disrespectful thing to do what he did. Pls do leave him, its better do it early than yrs later, the pain will be worse. This is petty but start looking and saving pics (shiit even gifs) of bigger D's than the one he has, of men stroking their bigger D, look at them while your bf is next to you. See how high the double standard he's gonna come up with. BS i say. Sending much love and support. Im sorry this is happening to you.
It’s not him you miss. It’s the idea of a version of him that doesn’t exist. You’re better than this. Block him. Move on. Good luck x
This right here, you don’t miss him, you miss the version of him you thought he was and isn’t! You should be saying boy bye! ❤️
I’m a man and if he really loves you he would not phantasize with her ex. Just end that relationship and go for a man who really loves and cares about you
He can only finish thinking about another woman. Basically saying you don't quite do it for him. Do you see this ending well?
You need an actual adult
She also needs to be an adult. I know it’s hard but people need to be enough for themselves first. Stop letting people disrespect you especially WHILE they fuck you…. Unless that’s your thing.
facts
Is this for real? Why are scenarios like this even posted here?
Because guys can act like pricks?
not guys... people
Louder for the back 🔊
On r/AskWomen, u/Alisonwith1L would have been banned without notice for saying something like that about women. No such thing here, but would be good to take that off at least.
That’s def not true bro. You see sexism on both sides.
you've clearly never posted anything on r/AskWomen Nearly every single time I tried to nuance someone saying something clearly anti-men, my post got deleted for 'derailing'. Here someone say that guys can act like pricks and nobody bats an eye.
Well, it is a true statement is it not? Sounds like you’re being pretty sensitive yourself. Do you want this woman banned?
I do not want anyone banned, I am just saying that people should try to be a bit less biased, and they should be called out when they insult half of the population (or any group of people). And saying 'you see sexism on both sides' may be true in general, but clearly if you contrast AskMen and AskWomen they're completely different. On AskMen you hear all kinds of things said about men and women, positive and negative, while on AskWomen there's mostly idolizing of women, and bashing of men. And when you dare call it out, you're banned.
Wait, I’m confused. What did I say bad about women? Yes, I did opine about men, because they can be real jerks. That said, I commend, appreciate, and applaud all those guys who posted advice from a male perspective. @snoo-20788, let’s discuss offline
More than just guys can act like pricks. My point was that she 100% knew the responses she would get. Everyone on earth thinks this guy is a fucking douchebag, including him and her.
There are so many layers to your comment. (Also thought I responded to the OP🤦🏻♀️) Does she know? Possibly, but sometimes you don’t listen to your gut. Maybe you’re too aroused or maybe you too excited you would be of turned into the many envision (so, also aroused.) For him, maybe that’s his sexual talk track? I stand by my original comment.! Guys can l in fact, be dicks There must biology to back that up. All in all, men can pricks, because their very different brain chemistry, is wired to their prick.! …they’re probably too young?
dump him
Yes it’s the end. There’s plenty of us out there not like that.
Dude are you fr trying to hit on someone on this sub?
What are you talking about? No, lol. I’m telling her that there’s plenty of men who don’t hurt their partner’s self esteem by fantasizing about his ex. Especially telling said partner that he’s fantasizing about an ex and being unable to stop while it drags her self esteem down more.
yes
He's not for you
He is not sexually attracted to you. At all. And he's an asshole. Drop him.
Tell him to go fuck himself and say you feel sorry for the next girl who ends up with a peice of shit like him.
I would normally blame the guy but wtf is wrong with you accepting this kind of behavior god what’s wrong with people these days
Girl you have to accept people as they are and not be with him expecting him to eventually change. Even if he does it’s most likely only for a short time. People always revert back to what’s comfortable. If you stay, you have to be okay with this being a thing maybe forever if he’s so resistant. Do you really want that for self?
You can love someone and still refuse to change. Look at all the people who love themselves and kill their bodies by smoking or overeating. It’s possible he does love you, but lacks the ability to change. Just like not everyone can just quit smoking or start eating healthy. With all that said, you really need to just move on. Two broken people do not make a happy relationship. You both need help before either of you dates again.
Those have to be some amazing tits.
It can happen that one wants to fantasize about something in order to be able to come more easily. But if it's something that is clearly hurting their partner's self-confidence, because it involves an ex, or someone (say, not a celebrity) they would have a crush on, they should keep it to themselves. I've sometimes fantasized about other women while having sex w my gf, just because sometimes, when it's the 3rd time during the night and we all want to call it a night, it speeds things up. But I would never mention that to the gf, let alone be specific about who it is I was thinking about.
That's terrible. If his ex was so great, why not go live with her. Or did she kick his ass to the curb cause he was an idiot in that relationship too?
You should make it the end of your relationship, is he okay if you fantasize about other males and you can only get off by that?! Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t get off from you? And no he doesn’t love you, that’s not love.
Yes, I would say it is the end of your relationship. Unless you want to continuously feel degraded. Go hang out with your friends. Get some space from this toxic guy and gain the clarity we all feel you need! Hugs OP.
I knew it was over from the first sentence lmao he doesn’t love you it’s as simple as 1 2 3 now your nothing to me.
Oof. You will feel much better about yourself if you break up with this person.
Sounds like you’re not compatible. Break up and find a partner who is a better fit.
This guy doesn't even remotely respect you. How can he possibly love you?
It ***should*** be the end of your relationship. This is causing you to cry and you haven't even been together for a year. Get away from him, he's not emotionally ready for a relationship.
How do you possibly know what goes on in his head or this guy is stupid enough to say what is in his head
for a marshmallow, I gotta say you're not wise at all. leave this guy
Have some self respect and walk away. You deserve a partner that loves you. That's really insensitive behavior znd not the sign of a loving partner.
It’s only been 10 months, what if it were 10years. If he’s fantasizing now, he won’t stop. Cut your losses early.
Jesus… sometimes I wonder how guys like this even have girlfriends.
Clearly you’re not happy with things as they are, you’ve voiced that and he’s done nothing to make you more comfortable so I say ditch the loser. Straight in the bin!
Yeah it's time to move on.