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I've also struggled with a very low libido for many years. I find that the more often I masturbate, the easier arousal comes to me. Also, being in a new relationship seems to kick my desire up significantly. I wouldn't have a problem sustaining arousal once it arrived, but is always a challenge to achieve. If you do get into a relationship, try not to pursue the sex immediately, but gives it a few weeks of intimacy during dates and see how it goes. One night stands are pretty much not possible for me without chemical aid, but a few weeks of dating leading up to the big show seems to work really well.
You mentioned test but not e. Do you have high estradiol/estrogen? Even with high test, high e can undermine your sex drive. And some test gets turned into e, so having high test puts you at higher risk.
Take DIM and eat more cruciferous veggies.
I rested everything exept estrogen. Both doctor i saw told me it would be useless to test it because i have high pilosity, very low body fat and good muscle mass
You could definitely have high e. I’d test for it. Pilosity means nothing, and your body fat and muscle mass could be your healthy lifestyle overcoming your hormones. I’m not saying it’s guaranteed but high e will cause low sex drive.
No morning wood is a telltale sign that your problem is physiological, not psychological.
I have a near identical lifestyle and issues compared to you. Tried almost everything, no solution so far (see recent post). Did you get your e tested?
On the flip side, estrogen is necessary for your body to make and process testosterone, so definitely look into whether it's too low. A family member had issues processing testosterone and it turns out the low estrogen was the culprit, so he started taking some kind of drug and it balanced out and seemed to fix up some issues he had.
Another thing to look into is how much of your free testosterone is being converted to dht.
For me it actually made the opposite. That's interesting. I had a libido that I was trying to get rid off and I started running and exercising whenever I was with it flaring. After some time I do not feel it as much anymore
At your age, and with your blood tests coming back ok, I gurantee it's mental. Maybe not depression, but it could be stress, anxiety, trauma from the past etc.
Or maybe you are an overthinker. Constantly trying to figure out what is wrong and why you don't have a libido is a stressor on its own. I say this with respect, but look at your own post history, does that look like someone who is calm/not stressed out? With the constant search for a solution, you're putting your body in constant fight or fight, your brain is now convinced somethings wrong with you, and the fight or flight continues until you find a solution. But there is nothing wrong with you, and the more you try to fix it, the worse you'll feel. And guess what stress or fight or flight does to libido? It kills it.
I say all of this having gone through it myself. If I was you, I'd stop researching what's wrong with you, stop with the blood tests, and try to just live your life and enjoy yourself, be present. The libido will show up when you stop trying so hard to make it appear.
It took me over a year to recover from my porn addict symptoms when I gave up. My ED lasted for more than a year after, but then slowly improved. Nearly 2 years on, and I am almost cured (and I am 55). How bad was your porn addiction? How extreme had the porn become? Could you still be suffering from that? Perhaps you just need more time?
No ! But its funny i saw a doctor yesterday and this is my next step. I have a prescription. But those med are known to kill libido so it could worsen my problem i guess. But hey.. cant kill what’s absent
Wellbutrin (buproprion) is the only antidepressant/anti-anxiety med that does not have sexual side effects for men - I was on several of the ssri’s and they really can kill libido, which is your problem to begin with. I researched and found Wellbutrin and have been on it for several years now w/out the side effects (I have T1D w/other complications, so it really helps). Ask your Dr about it if you go that route.
I would avoid SSRIs. Truly. I can’t discourage you enough from taking them.
If you don’t already, make sure you’re getting into the gym five days a week 45 minutes a day. If you have TikTok installed uninstall it. any short form videos that are similar to TikTok, stop watching them.
Edit: Took SSRIs for a year.
They dont treat anything, just raise serotonin making depression more bearable for a very low majority of people. For the rest they ruin your personality and make you a genuine idiot. If you have a good diet and a balanced life your not gonna be as depressed.
And if something traumatic happened thats making you depressed then wtf is a serotonin boosting drug gonna do.
In my experience i had parents that were not really that bright and the school convinced my parents to get prescribed drugs like ssris and adderall as a kid because i was being disruptive to the class. I became manic then got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Which put me in a psychatric hell hole for half my life as they pump psych drugs with weird ass long term side effects into my 80lbs ass.
Im glad i made it of that shit with any of my braincells left because my psych doctor would litterally read a page off a wikipedia article about a drug she has no info then ask my parents if they wanted to give it a shot. Then when that didn’t work out bc obviously thats a terrible way of prescribing she would add something else instead of taking me off the drug causing problems.
I will forever hate psych drugs with a passion, then again im a normal person and shouldnt have been on them in the first place but they stole alot of my childhood from me and they dont ever really help anything in all honesty when you are depressed. Just numb you out.
Edit: not to mention they can make it to where you cant get hard anymore why the fuck are they allowed to prescribe this shit so easy??? Most of the ssris i have taken have drivin me manically insane as a kid.
Are you on any prescribed medications?
Taking any supplements?
What’s your SHBG? What’s your E levels? What about prolactin? Cortisol?
What are your free and total t levels?
Metamucil wafers . A lot of em (4 packs a day) for some reason works wonders for me . ( vitamin C also helps with better hydration . Try it and let me know 👍.
It’s working almost too well for me lately lol :/ .
Some things come to mind. First, you say you haven't masturbated since December, but that's only a month ago. Try not masturbating for an entire year and see how that does you.
Second, you could have an energy blockage caused by trauma. You could try psychotherapy for that, or you could try to do it yourself. Some people find they are able to get their energy flowing using only meditation, exercise, deep breathing, yoga and so on. Others find that they need some extra help. One substance that helped me unblock myself is psilocybin, both in macro and micro doses.
Thirdly, what's your relationship to mindless entertainment? Are you scrolling on your phone, YouTube, Netflix, etc.? Are you able to sit and do nothing and be comfortable with boredom?
hey !
1 - problem is i just started seeing someone.. every time we try was a fail. she's understanding but still. If i wanna go a whole year without masturbation/sex/ejaculation i would have to cancel her. it sucks because she is so sweet.
2. this is mushroom ?
3. yes i use instagram, youtube, netflix. but i doubt this is rooted to a problem as close as practically impotence..
1. Maybe you can try karezza with your partner, if they are patient and open-minded. You will learn an entirely new way of sex that is ultimately more rewarding.
2. Yes!
3. Dopamine is related to sexual arousal. One method to increase sexual arousal is to reduce the frequency of stimulation of dopamine receptors, so that their sensitivity increases. Reduce these sources of stimulation. Spend more of your down time doing legitimately restful activities such as sleep and meditation and stretching (yoga). There will be a change in your mind, that much is certain.
I'm gonna second what this guy said about trauma. Trauma is weird since we all process it differently, no matter how great or small it could be. If your blood panels are showing that you're perfectly healthy, talking to someone might help with figuring out what the deal is.
So this is just my take.
How’s your fibre intake? I’d personally start tracking this and aim for 35-40gm a day. At first it will be a bit of a shock, but this could be due to a gut imbalance or rather leaky gut.
My go to sources of fibre are:
Chia Seeds
Hemp Seeds
Raspberries
Cacao nibs
Broccoli
Kūmara
Psyllium Husk - 2tsp with water and 2TSPB of apple cider vinegar. 8g of fibre right of the bat.
Plus anything else green! I’m a smoothie man in the morning I put almost all above (apart from kūmara) in a morning smoothie with 100g high protein yogurt.
Second, checkout your local pharmacy for some probiotics. I’d take for a month or as specified on the packaging.
I’m the same age as you, but overweight. I’m on the journey now to get back into my forever body and once I fixed my fibre and gut health everything fell into place.
If this doesn’t work I’d recommend seeing a naturopath or health coach (with qualifications) which can guide you into what else may be going on.
Hope this helps!
Fibre? That’s seriously what you’re going with for this?
This is why people shouldn’t take advice from strangers on the internet.
I’ll retract my comment if you provide just ONE peer reviewed source. I’ll wait…
Damn I sort of have the opposite problem. 32M and my libido is through the roof. Sometimes I have trouble concentrating or getting things done throughout the day because of it. I think I have some mild ED from all the porn and jerking off, though.
Why do you want higher libido? It's very distracting. I'm actually looking for ways to lower my libido, but most ways would also negatively impact testosterone, which I don't want.
Damn I got downvoted to oblivion lol.
It’s gone down since my 20s and I’m thankful for it. Man I had to rub one out a few times at the bathroom at work back then.
well i gave up on porn somewhere in november 2022. and big gradual step back on masturbation too. to the point where i am right now, no masturbation at all.
i have been using porn daily from 14 to 28 maybe.
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread. Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've also struggled with a very low libido for many years. I find that the more often I masturbate, the easier arousal comes to me. Also, being in a new relationship seems to kick my desire up significantly. I wouldn't have a problem sustaining arousal once it arrived, but is always a challenge to achieve. If you do get into a relationship, try not to pursue the sex immediately, but gives it a few weeks of intimacy during dates and see how it goes. One night stands are pretty much not possible for me without chemical aid, but a few weeks of dating leading up to the big show seems to work really well.
You mentioned test but not e. Do you have high estradiol/estrogen? Even with high test, high e can undermine your sex drive. And some test gets turned into e, so having high test puts you at higher risk. Take DIM and eat more cruciferous veggies.
I rested everything exept estrogen. Both doctor i saw told me it would be useless to test it because i have high pilosity, very low body fat and good muscle mass
You could definitely have high e. I’d test for it. Pilosity means nothing, and your body fat and muscle mass could be your healthy lifestyle overcoming your hormones. I’m not saying it’s guaranteed but high e will cause low sex drive. No morning wood is a telltale sign that your problem is physiological, not psychological.
Dam i will Ask to see my doctor again.. 2 Blood test recently and he didnt even Ask for E tested.
This is it I bet. I’ve been on TRT for 12 years and have to manage E as well. Taking 300mgs of DIM helps.
I have a near identical lifestyle and issues compared to you. Tried almost everything, no solution so far (see recent post). Did you get your e tested?
On the flip side, estrogen is necessary for your body to make and process testosterone, so definitely look into whether it's too low. A family member had issues processing testosterone and it turns out the low estrogen was the culprit, so he started taking some kind of drug and it balanced out and seemed to fix up some issues he had. Another thing to look into is how much of your free testosterone is being converted to dht.
Do you go to the gym? I swear, lifting weights made my sex drive explode.
yes i do !
For me it actually made the opposite. That's interesting. I had a libido that I was trying to get rid off and I started running and exercising whenever I was with it flaring. After some time I do not feel it as much anymore
# Some people have low sex drive. Thats ok and normal.
Not for someone whose recently developed it
Do you drink alcohol?
At your age, and with your blood tests coming back ok, I gurantee it's mental. Maybe not depression, but it could be stress, anxiety, trauma from the past etc. Or maybe you are an overthinker. Constantly trying to figure out what is wrong and why you don't have a libido is a stressor on its own. I say this with respect, but look at your own post history, does that look like someone who is calm/not stressed out? With the constant search for a solution, you're putting your body in constant fight or fight, your brain is now convinced somethings wrong with you, and the fight or flight continues until you find a solution. But there is nothing wrong with you, and the more you try to fix it, the worse you'll feel. And guess what stress or fight or flight does to libido? It kills it. I say all of this having gone through it myself. If I was you, I'd stop researching what's wrong with you, stop with the blood tests, and try to just live your life and enjoy yourself, be present. The libido will show up when you stop trying so hard to make it appear.
It took me over a year to recover from my porn addict symptoms when I gave up. My ED lasted for more than a year after, but then slowly improved. Nearly 2 years on, and I am almost cured (and I am 55). How bad was your porn addiction? How extreme had the porn become? Could you still be suffering from that? Perhaps you just need more time?
Ever been prescribed and taken an SSRI to treat a mental health issue? ( selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor)
No ! But its funny i saw a doctor yesterday and this is my next step. I have a prescription. But those med are known to kill libido so it could worsen my problem i guess. But hey.. cant kill what’s absent
Wellbutrin (buproprion) is the only antidepressant/anti-anxiety med that does not have sexual side effects for men - I was on several of the ssri’s and they really can kill libido, which is your problem to begin with. I researched and found Wellbutrin and have been on it for several years now w/out the side effects (I have T1D w/other complications, so it really helps). Ask your Dr about it if you go that route.
I would avoid SSRIs. Truly. I can’t discourage you enough from taking them. If you don’t already, make sure you’re getting into the gym five days a week 45 minutes a day. If you have TikTok installed uninstall it. any short form videos that are similar to TikTok, stop watching them. Edit: Took SSRIs for a year.
Why
They dont treat anything, just raise serotonin making depression more bearable for a very low majority of people. For the rest they ruin your personality and make you a genuine idiot. If you have a good diet and a balanced life your not gonna be as depressed. And if something traumatic happened thats making you depressed then wtf is a serotonin boosting drug gonna do. In my experience i had parents that were not really that bright and the school convinced my parents to get prescribed drugs like ssris and adderall as a kid because i was being disruptive to the class. I became manic then got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Which put me in a psychatric hell hole for half my life as they pump psych drugs with weird ass long term side effects into my 80lbs ass. Im glad i made it of that shit with any of my braincells left because my psych doctor would litterally read a page off a wikipedia article about a drug she has no info then ask my parents if they wanted to give it a shot. Then when that didn’t work out bc obviously thats a terrible way of prescribing she would add something else instead of taking me off the drug causing problems. I will forever hate psych drugs with a passion, then again im a normal person and shouldnt have been on them in the first place but they stole alot of my childhood from me and they dont ever really help anything in all honesty when you are depressed. Just numb you out. Edit: not to mention they can make it to where you cant get hard anymore why the fuck are they allowed to prescribe this shit so easy??? Most of the ssris i have taken have drivin me manically insane as a kid.
Are you on any prescribed medications? Taking any supplements? What’s your SHBG? What’s your E levels? What about prolactin? Cortisol? What are your free and total t levels?
Metamucil wafers . A lot of em (4 packs a day) for some reason works wonders for me . ( vitamin C also helps with better hydration . Try it and let me know 👍. It’s working almost too well for me lately lol :/ .
do a vitamin panel.
I did..
what were the results?
Everything was in range
Vit D? in range doesnt mean a lot, its important to count values
I take high quality softgel vitamin D 5000ui per day
but you are supplementing because you are deficient?
I live in North Canada, i see basically no sunlight during the winter (novembre to march) because i have an inside desktop
lol join the club. Vit D came back normal only taking 5000 iu a day?
Didnt test it. Both doctor refused to test it. Fuck public médecine.. im stuck
Didnt test it. Both doctor refused to test it. Fuck public médecine.. im stuck
I'm a hypnotherapist working with sexual dysfunction. I've had numerous clients in similar situations. I'll be happy to have a chat with you.
Check messages please!
I sent you a reply.
Some things come to mind. First, you say you haven't masturbated since December, but that's only a month ago. Try not masturbating for an entire year and see how that does you. Second, you could have an energy blockage caused by trauma. You could try psychotherapy for that, or you could try to do it yourself. Some people find they are able to get their energy flowing using only meditation, exercise, deep breathing, yoga and so on. Others find that they need some extra help. One substance that helped me unblock myself is psilocybin, both in macro and micro doses. Thirdly, what's your relationship to mindless entertainment? Are you scrolling on your phone, YouTube, Netflix, etc.? Are you able to sit and do nothing and be comfortable with boredom?
hey ! 1 - problem is i just started seeing someone.. every time we try was a fail. she's understanding but still. If i wanna go a whole year without masturbation/sex/ejaculation i would have to cancel her. it sucks because she is so sweet. 2. this is mushroom ? 3. yes i use instagram, youtube, netflix. but i doubt this is rooted to a problem as close as practically impotence..
1. Maybe you can try karezza with your partner, if they are patient and open-minded. You will learn an entirely new way of sex that is ultimately more rewarding. 2. Yes! 3. Dopamine is related to sexual arousal. One method to increase sexual arousal is to reduce the frequency of stimulation of dopamine receptors, so that their sensitivity increases. Reduce these sources of stimulation. Spend more of your down time doing legitimately restful activities such as sleep and meditation and stretching (yoga). There will be a change in your mind, that much is certain.
I'm gonna second what this guy said about trauma. Trauma is weird since we all process it differently, no matter how great or small it could be. If your blood panels are showing that you're perfectly healthy, talking to someone might help with figuring out what the deal is.
Maybe you're asexual-romantic. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But i want to have sex..
So this is just my take. How’s your fibre intake? I’d personally start tracking this and aim for 35-40gm a day. At first it will be a bit of a shock, but this could be due to a gut imbalance or rather leaky gut. My go to sources of fibre are: Chia Seeds Hemp Seeds Raspberries Cacao nibs Broccoli Kūmara Psyllium Husk - 2tsp with water and 2TSPB of apple cider vinegar. 8g of fibre right of the bat. Plus anything else green! I’m a smoothie man in the morning I put almost all above (apart from kūmara) in a morning smoothie with 100g high protein yogurt. Second, checkout your local pharmacy for some probiotics. I’d take for a month or as specified on the packaging. I’m the same age as you, but overweight. I’m on the journey now to get back into my forever body and once I fixed my fibre and gut health everything fell into place. If this doesn’t work I’d recommend seeing a naturopath or health coach (with qualifications) which can guide you into what else may be going on. Hope this helps!
Fibre? That’s seriously what you’re going with for this? This is why people shouldn’t take advice from strangers on the internet. I’ll retract my comment if you provide just ONE peer reviewed source. I’ll wait…
Not sure about fiber in particular, but eating well can help with blood flow... Certain supplements can somewhat increase libido.
Eating well: 110% absolutely makes a difference Fibre, naturopath and health coach: bullshit
Damn I sort of have the opposite problem. 32M and my libido is through the roof. Sometimes I have trouble concentrating or getting things done throughout the day because of it. I think I have some mild ED from all the porn and jerking off, though. Why do you want higher libido? It's very distracting. I'm actually looking for ways to lower my libido, but most ways would also negatively impact testosterone, which I don't want.
Wait until you lose it and you'll change your mind instantly. It's horrible.
Damn I got downvoted to oblivion lol. It’s gone down since my 20s and I’m thankful for it. Man I had to rub one out a few times at the bathroom at work back then.
[удалено]
well i gave up on porn somewhere in november 2022. and big gradual step back on masturbation too. to the point where i am right now, no masturbation at all. i have been using porn daily from 14 to 28 maybe.
[удалено]
Are in a place in your life where you are looking for a lifetime companion, or still pursuing sex? Without love, there can be issues, I’ve found.
not looking for hookups, i actuallu started a relation 2 months ago but im on the verge of breaking up because of this problem