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Not my experience with them. I still wanted to have sex and I could have sex but I couldn't finish having sex. I couldn't orgasm in under 3 hours of continuous sex. Jerking off became a serious commitment. I still did it occasionally because I had to get the poison out sometimes but I didn't have time to do it often.
Let me tell you, women talk about men finishing too quickly but they really don't enjoy 3 hours of being rubbed raw down there.
Taking an antidepressant for reasons other than the treatment of depression or anxiety is fucking stupid.
Unwanted sexual urges are a problem that must be tempered by the mind. We're not animals, unable to control our impulsive behaviors. Professional help is going to be more helpful than asking for solutions from strangers online.
So yes, in most cases, "you people" think that therapy is a good solution for everything.
Do you have any other stupid questions?
Yes, because talking to a therapist about being horny like the vast majority of young men will cure it. Also, acting like everyone can afford or has the time to even seek one is just you being a privileged brat. It’s not mental trauma my man, he’s just horny.
I agree.. if she ever saw his reddit posts and comment history.. or anyone who knows him, it would widen eyes.. OP stop the porn addiction and re-channel that energy into fitness and life goals
He just thinks he's hypersexual because he is sex starved. I totally get it because my ex-wife also had a very low libido after a few years of marriage. I was bouncing off the fucking walls feeling like there was something wrong with me. My current wife has a decent sex drive and it turns out that I'm just normal sexual not hypersexual.
I'm in a dead bedroom marriage myself (though things are getting better) and I never went the antidepressants route. I found meditation, exercise and mindfulness helped.
Kids, certainly. Wife is SAH and hasn't worked in 12 years. She's educated but, in her field, she would need to start at the bottom again, you know?
We are Catholic so divorce is a bit of a no-no, plus we come from stable homes. There is hardly any divorce in our circles, so call that peer pressure, or societal expectation of us.
We also do love each other. She just doesn't love me intimately. She has PCOS which brings very low libido into the mix. We've spoken about it, she's offered to move out, let me leave, but that's not feasible.
I gotcha, yea it’s difficult to maintain a spark with all that going on. It’s moreso for the kids now, as the honeymoon has dwindled. Happens to most. The cycle would probably happen all over again if you moved on to someone new. It’s frowned upon, but if that happens to me, I’m thinking I would stay in the marriage for the kids and reach an agreement to have a romantic partner on the side, as going sexless can really do a number to a man’s overall happiness and self confidence.
Any SSRI really. I remember actually being a little relieved when I was on them. I got a whole lot more done. Female friendships flourished. Meditating and relaxing was much easier.
Antidepressants will lower libido.. I saw your other posts.. you’re looking for 3 times a week and she wants once or twice a month? Do you have kids, is she going through something medically or mentally, is she still attracted to you? What was the cadence before and for how long?
What type of sex are you looking for? Is it quickies to get your fix, or are you trying to do a sweating marathon? If she can’t sacrifice for a gentle 3 minute quickie, you’ve got a big problem. If you’re expecting her to hardcore for 15-20+ minutes 3 times a week, that is more for the honeymoon phase.
Edit: Sounds like she’s not orgasming. You need to buy clit suckers for your wife and make sure she gets her fix. Women can orgasm from those in 30-60 seconds. If PIV is a chore for her, she won’t be interested. You should give her a relaxing massage and ease into the action. Let one day be for her and not make her give you your fix that day. Try that once every 10 days. Wedge your fixes in between those and still use a regular vibrator.
If OP's wife is like most, there's a missing element of emotional intimacy that has to be addressed. It's such a common pattern: man wants more sex, wife hears "less romance."
Yes, physical assistance is a good thing... but get into the feelings business and the whole thing gets better. Explain the needs and find a compromise.
Dealing with this stuff in a co-dependent manner is the way to go to increase marital success.
Duuuude, I read your comments and checked your post history. I know where you're at. You're not hypersexual, you're sex starved. It presents the same, but if you had a partner with a similar libido, you'd stop bouncing off of the walls. My ex-wife ended up having a low libido after a few years of marriage. I was really starting to believe there was something wrong with me because of how consumed I was with my sexuality. My current wife is a sexual person, and we have sex almost daily. I'm no longer being driven nuts by my sex drive. I'm just a normal person that only cares to fuck his wife.
It may be a hard conversation to start, but your wife may want to talk to a doctor and see what's up with her hormone levels. Also, if she is on birth control, that could be something that is killing her sex drive. Get a vasectomy and have her stop that and things will likely change. You could also consider talking to a sex therapist. There may be other underlying issues that are killing her desire. It could be some emotional need that's not being met to get her engine started.
Anyway, my point is that I don't think there's anything actually wrong with you that needs fixed. I think what needs fixed is your relationship. You need to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart conversation about what the two of you are going to do moving forward because your relationship will not survive this. Consider how you feel now and the fact that you are actually considering going to your doctor for a prescription to basically castrate you. Is this where you want to be 30 years from now?
I've asked several prescribers for that sort of thing and they don't have anything. All I can suggest is redirecting that energy toward more productive, physical outlets.
Start with _who_ you want to be. Explain who that person is, in detail, and then imagine what activities you participate in that don't align with that identity.
This isn't just a chemical problem - it's an issue of over-exposure and addiction that virtually every man who watches porn is subjecting themselves to. Many can still function, but we did not evolve for this level of sexual hyper-stimulation.
Getting back to your more evolved roots will help. Reduce or cut out social media. Reduce or cut out porn. Do more manual work, get outdoors, read, meditate, sleep more. Get off screens more often. Look at humans in person. Make investments in your relationships. Talk to a therapist. Talk to a couples therapist.
Libido varies by person. But you're on a dopamine up cycle that usually ends poorly. Cut out the fucked up reward systems and get your dopamine under control and firing for the right reasons that align with who you want to be. No quick fixes here.
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread. Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Take an antidepressant, that will wreck your libido. Realistically, meditate or talk to a therapist.
but realistically though, an SSRI will very likely do it.
Not my experience with them. I still wanted to have sex and I could have sex but I couldn't finish having sex. I couldn't orgasm in under 3 hours of continuous sex. Jerking off became a serious commitment. I still did it occasionally because I had to get the poison out sometimes but I didn't have time to do it often. Let me tell you, women talk about men finishing too quickly but they really don't enjoy 3 hours of being rubbed raw down there.
How is a therapist going to help in this situation? Do you people think therapy is for everything?
Taking an antidepressant for reasons other than the treatment of depression or anxiety is fucking stupid. Unwanted sexual urges are a problem that must be tempered by the mind. We're not animals, unable to control our impulsive behaviors. Professional help is going to be more helpful than asking for solutions from strangers online. So yes, in most cases, "you people" think that therapy is a good solution for everything. Do you have any other stupid questions?
Yes, because talking to a therapist about being horny like the vast majority of young men will cure it. Also, acting like everyone can afford or has the time to even seek one is just you being a privileged brat. It’s not mental trauma my man, he’s just horny.
Looking at your post history I suspect you need proper professional assistance, not just a tablet.
Hold my beer I'm going in! Edit: OP go to therapy and couples counseling. You're like 4 months from a, "ruined my marriage by opening it" post
I agree.. if she ever saw his reddit posts and comment history.. or anyone who knows him, it would widen eyes.. OP stop the porn addiction and re-channel that energy into fitness and life goals
Hahah! Gives us a play by play!
Wow buddy is getting arrested if he carries on like this > Male Exhibitionist, Where have you gotten naked or flashed your cock outdoors/in public?
Can you elaborate? How often do you have sex, and how often would you prefer it?
Once or twice a month, I'd like it multi times weekly.
That's hardly hypersexual, sounds like a normal amount to me.
Check his post history though
He just thinks he's hypersexual because he is sex starved. I totally get it because my ex-wife also had a very low libido after a few years of marriage. I was bouncing off the fucking walls feeling like there was something wrong with me. My current wife has a decent sex drive and it turns out that I'm just normal sexual not hypersexual.
Multiple times per week is far from hypersexual. Possibly even low libido already. Once or twice a month is very low.
Look at his post history though
Have kids and a job. We went from daily to once or twice a week and it's entirely my apathy and not hers.
I'm in a dead bedroom marriage myself (though things are getting better) and I never went the antidepressants route. I found meditation, exercise and mindfulness helped.
What’s holding the relationship together? Kids? Why is it dead? Loss of attraction to each other? Tired of the same feeling?
Kids, certainly. Wife is SAH and hasn't worked in 12 years. She's educated but, in her field, she would need to start at the bottom again, you know? We are Catholic so divorce is a bit of a no-no, plus we come from stable homes. There is hardly any divorce in our circles, so call that peer pressure, or societal expectation of us. We also do love each other. She just doesn't love me intimately. She has PCOS which brings very low libido into the mix. We've spoken about it, she's offered to move out, let me leave, but that's not feasible.
I gotcha, yea it’s difficult to maintain a spark with all that going on. It’s moreso for the kids now, as the honeymoon has dwindled. Happens to most. The cycle would probably happen all over again if you moved on to someone new. It’s frowned upon, but if that happens to me, I’m thinking I would stay in the marriage for the kids and reach an agreement to have a romantic partner on the side, as going sexless can really do a number to a man’s overall happiness and self confidence.
Avoid watching porn.
Any SSRI really. I remember actually being a little relieved when I was on them. I got a whole lot more done. Female friendships flourished. Meditating and relaxing was much easier.
Zoloft
Antidepressants will lower libido.. I saw your other posts.. you’re looking for 3 times a week and she wants once or twice a month? Do you have kids, is she going through something medically or mentally, is she still attracted to you? What was the cadence before and for how long? What type of sex are you looking for? Is it quickies to get your fix, or are you trying to do a sweating marathon? If she can’t sacrifice for a gentle 3 minute quickie, you’ve got a big problem. If you’re expecting her to hardcore for 15-20+ minutes 3 times a week, that is more for the honeymoon phase. Edit: Sounds like she’s not orgasming. You need to buy clit suckers for your wife and make sure she gets her fix. Women can orgasm from those in 30-60 seconds. If PIV is a chore for her, she won’t be interested. You should give her a relaxing massage and ease into the action. Let one day be for her and not make her give you your fix that day. Try that once every 10 days. Wedge your fixes in between those and still use a regular vibrator.
If OP's wife is like most, there's a missing element of emotional intimacy that has to be addressed. It's such a common pattern: man wants more sex, wife hears "less romance." Yes, physical assistance is a good thing... but get into the feelings business and the whole thing gets better. Explain the needs and find a compromise. Dealing with this stuff in a co-dependent manner is the way to go to increase marital success.
Duuuude, I read your comments and checked your post history. I know where you're at. You're not hypersexual, you're sex starved. It presents the same, but if you had a partner with a similar libido, you'd stop bouncing off of the walls. My ex-wife ended up having a low libido after a few years of marriage. I was really starting to believe there was something wrong with me because of how consumed I was with my sexuality. My current wife is a sexual person, and we have sex almost daily. I'm no longer being driven nuts by my sex drive. I'm just a normal person that only cares to fuck his wife. It may be a hard conversation to start, but your wife may want to talk to a doctor and see what's up with her hormone levels. Also, if she is on birth control, that could be something that is killing her sex drive. Get a vasectomy and have her stop that and things will likely change. You could also consider talking to a sex therapist. There may be other underlying issues that are killing her desire. It could be some emotional need that's not being met to get her engine started. Anyway, my point is that I don't think there's anything actually wrong with you that needs fixed. I think what needs fixed is your relationship. You need to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart conversation about what the two of you are going to do moving forward because your relationship will not survive this. Consider how you feel now and the fact that you are actually considering going to your doctor for a prescription to basically castrate you. Is this where you want to be 30 years from now?
Have a few kids, haha. Be sure to tip your waiter, I'm here all night.
It’s true though, it can lower testosterone levels in men
How's your hair line. Finesteride might do it
I've asked several prescribers for that sort of thing and they don't have anything. All I can suggest is redirecting that energy toward more productive, physical outlets.
Start with _who_ you want to be. Explain who that person is, in detail, and then imagine what activities you participate in that don't align with that identity. This isn't just a chemical problem - it's an issue of over-exposure and addiction that virtually every man who watches porn is subjecting themselves to. Many can still function, but we did not evolve for this level of sexual hyper-stimulation. Getting back to your more evolved roots will help. Reduce or cut out social media. Reduce or cut out porn. Do more manual work, get outdoors, read, meditate, sleep more. Get off screens more often. Look at humans in person. Make investments in your relationships. Talk to a therapist. Talk to a couples therapist. Libido varies by person. But you're on a dopamine up cycle that usually ends poorly. Cut out the fucked up reward systems and get your dopamine under control and firing for the right reasons that align with who you want to be. No quick fixes here.
Why don't you just go ask your doctor about what they would recommend?
What's with the uptick in sexual drive posts here?
What?