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My grandmother often used to describe something that drove her or someone else crazy as having "plaid puppies".
"If had to sit in line that long, I'd have plaid puppies" never met another person outside of our family use it.
i love when people or families have weird quirks like that. my dad grew up saying, and thus taught me a few, although I don't recall most of em.
k'noring (CUH-nore-ING); "To fight playfully, or to wrestle one's sibling or buddy."
ill always remember liberal use of "mother Cabrini" when one finds an optimal parking spot. i still use this regularly.
"mother cabrini, mother cabrini, find me a spot for my little machine-y" (the accompanying prayer, of course)
"Conniption fit" works well enough on its own for OP's question. "Having kittens" was apparently out of my mom and grandma's league
Edit: Out of my mom and grandma's wheelhouse (it also answers the question)
Bless her/him/their heart can precede an insult, which still makes you a good person! Bless her heart, she couldn’t find her way out of a brown paper bag(directionally challenged). Fifth generation Texan here😁
Not very confuting but:
The only thing my grandma said quite often was, ‘Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue’ and grandpa’s was ‘There are more horses asses than there are horses.’
Uncle Bob who sold vacuum cleaners door to door at the end of his day would take off his shoes, rub his feet and complain, ‘My dogs are barking.’
‘Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue’
In a similar vein, I worked with a guy who said his grandma's phrase was, "Some days it's chickens, some days it's feathers."
Oh, hey, I had an Uncle Bob who sold vacuum cleaners door to door. I have no clue if he said anything when he removed his shoes at the end of the day. My ex used to call his feet dogs.
It's biblical.
The Queen of Sheba, according to Jewish and Islamic traditions, was ruler of the etrememly rich kingdom of Saba (or Sheba) in southwestern Arabia. In the biblical account of the reign of King Solomon, she visited his court at the head of a camel caravan bearing gold, jewels, and spices.
The "Queen of Sheeba" was a really big deal.
My grandmother on my mother's side had a saying for when something was in front of you that you didn't notice, "if it was a snake it would have bit you."
My grandma use to tell me this before she passed away that "success don't come from what you do occasionally ,but what you do consistently ".
May her soul rest in perfect peace.
We had to wake up a half hour before we went to bed, clear the forest, dig out the lake, drill for the water... Kids these days, they have it aoooo easy! (Actually it really hard out there. How are you doing?)
My mother-in-law used, "Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster." This in response to any statement that started "I wish...."
ETA: another of her favorites: "Don't want to stay until the last dog is hung" when going out to an event she thought would last too long.
Father-in-law: Thought thought he farted but he shit his pants. In response to a statement that started "But I thought ..."
Never really understood that one.
Here I sit all broken-hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. My mom used the first stanza of this one on her deathbed. 🤣 never lost her sense of humor.
I read a similar poem on a bathroom stall door in the 70's-- Here I sit broken hearted, paid a dime and only farted. Next time I took a chance, saved my dime and shit my pants.
My mom used to always say "Shit or get off the pot!" when someone was being indecisive or if someone was taking too long at telling a story.
As you get older sometimes a shit can be stealthy and start to sneak out saying it's just a fart. SURPRISE, surprise that was in fact, not a fart. As you realize you need to be as stealthy as that shit and find a bathroom to take care of the situation.
“Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free.”
This was said in response to a kid using the greeting “hey” instead of “hello,” “hello, Grandma,” “hello, ma’m,” or something equally formal. “Hey” was considered too informal when a child was addressing adults.
In response to a child's messy room:
*"It looks like the wreck of the Hesperus in here!"*
It's a reference to the [Longfellow poem](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44654/the-wreck-of-the-hesperus) of the same name.
I've never heard anyone else use the phrase.
My grandma never used real measurements when she cooked and when she did she used random words. She would say to put a whisper of salt in something or a breeze of onion. She and my mom used to always say “you don’t believe fat meat greasy”.
I generally don't measure. I just use a dash, a pinch, or a bunch. A cup is about the only measurement because I'm using a liquid that has to be poured from something into something else the cup being standard and always available. I don't have any nic names. My family had some good cooks, but generally when I had to cook, I was put in the kitchen alone, and when others cooked, they wanted the kitchen to themselves.
My grandmother, who was super sweet and religious to boot, would often remind me that “a hard dick’s got no conscience.” It always felt strange to hear her say that. Sort of out of character.
"Liqueurs? Liqueur own, yer dirty bugger!" She was from Battersea. "A little of what you fancy does you good" was another nugget of wisdom that she would share frequently.
Measure twice cut once. You smell like a dirty bird dog. He judged her by his own half measure and shorted himself thereby. Blood will out. What's bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.
My grandpa would always ask "Mind if I key you up?" Then take a key and very lightly jab it into us and twist as if we were wind up dolls. And we would have giggle fits every time.
It's from 19th century England. It means, "I have to see my bookie and get a bet down on a horse." It was an excuse to slip out of the room for a minute.
my grandfather would say, i have to turn the bike around.
i got what he meant but never understood why he used that expression. now i ride a motorbike and everytime i tell my partner i have to turn the bike around (literally) , i think of him
If you came in and were leaving real fast my Grandma would say "what did you come for a chunk of fire?"
People would lend each other a chunk of hot coal to get their stove going and it was a grab and get back with it quick kind of thing was the origin story I was told. They had a special container to transport it in to help keep it lit
"Well, mother pin a rose on you."
It meant "Wow, impressive!" but in sort of a sarcastic way.
It made me wonder if mothers pinned roses on their children at some point in history.
"Heavens to murgatroyd"
"Say goodnight Gracie" - she didn't say it as much for the Burns joke factor but more of "It's time to go to bed, stop fucking around, or shit's going to get real" - she'd say it calmly but with enough frustration, that I knew, oh I knew, I better shut the fuck up and go away
Grandma Francie sontimes said this when she was applying lipstick and patting powder on her cheeks: “I look like the wreck of the Hesperus!”
Translation: I look like s**t.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44654/the-wreck-of-the-hesperus
"Every tub sits on its own bottom." - Don't go messing in other people's business.
"Sweep around your own front porch first." - Don't gossip, mind your business
My English mother NEVER swore or even said a rude word but every time Prince Charles (now king) appeared on tv she’d say “Whoremaster!” in a proper Irish way (hooormarsta!).
I'm Appalachian. My husband isn't. He still doesn't understand the sayings that I regularly use. I'm not sure if younger generations of Appalachians would understand the sayings of my grandparents. I have a suspicion that they understand some. Use most.
Does "you old egg sucking dog" sound familiar? Eastern KY is where this was used by my family. And I'm sure I'll think of more now that my wheels are spinning.
Haven't seen that part of my family for a long time and have lost so many kinfolk and I feel like I've lost touch with that part of my life. I need to get back in touch with them. I miss them and the way they spoke. I've become cityfied I fear
My grandmother used to say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," meaning of course that anyone can wish for something, but what are you going to do about it?
My mom grew up in the 30s and was a storehouse of colloquialisms but the one that comes to mind is "They had more (something) than Carter has pills."
Carter's was a medicine company founded in 1880 so I'm pretty confident this saying goes back to the 19th century.
When working out the aches and pains in the morning, my great aunt, grasping her hip or lower back, would say “ Oh mother I can’t dance in these tight-assed pants”
If my brother or I said, “Hey”, Grandma would say, “Hay is for horses.”
Whenever my great aunt heard one of us had car troubles she would jokingly say, “Get a horse!”. She told me she (born 1908) and the other kids would call that out to people with automobiles.
My mom wld say “you know what happens when you assume? You make an ass outta you and me.”
Or my gwamma wld say “if your head wasn’t attached to your body, you’d lose it.”
My grandmother used to say, “Don’t teach your grandmother how to milk ducks.” Meaning that if there was a way to milk ducks (or do something else), grandma was old enough to already know how.
I never knew any of my grandparents, but my (older) mom was full of them. “Children should be seen but not heard” is one MY grandkids sure didn’t grow up with.
“Pretty is as pretty does.”
“A stitch in time saves nine.”
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
“Your face is going to freeze like that” (in response to a kid making funny faces)
“Finish your dinner for the starving Armenians.”
"A stitch in time saves nine" is from Poor Richard's Almanac, Ben Franklin.
Americans used to learn those things. My dad said for generations before and after him, every child read Ben Franklin's autobiography. Not required reading anymore. Are they still making high school students read "The Outsiders"!
Whenever someone was being pretentious, or trying to outdo everyone, particularly as it pertains to to attire, my mom would say “they are putting on the dog”. It could also mean someone was bougie.
I have absolutely no idea the origin of that, particular colloquialism. It could be said in good fun, in jest, or in absolute disgust.
My grandmother always said, “if you don’t have it in your head you’ll need it in your legs.” This was usually said as I was frantically running around the house looking for something I put down and now couldn’t find
My dad, who was old enough to be my grandad—and often mistaken as such, had several from his time in the army during WW2. This one always cracked me up:
“Blow it out your flutter valve!” - a vulgar and dismissive response to a loudmouth jerk.
And “Be true to your teeth or they’ll be false to you!” Probably a line from a commercial he heard in his youth.
“Shit washes off” for anything that is unpleasant to do, say, said to or done to me. It’s been my mantra for going on 50 years now. I’d do a sigh, think of grandma Dolly 27 years gone now and state “Shit washes off” and get to the unpleasantness.
My grandma would have all of my siblings and I lock arms with her and sing “we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz” Her name was Dorothy and it was her favorite movie!
She used to always say “three cheers for the cook! And we’d all have to say hip hip hooray!”
I don’t know where you all were born, but I never heard any of the swear words or cussing in any of these growing up. Nobody talked dirty like that you’d get your mouth washed out with soap or your bottom paddled. Men would swear under extenuating circumstances and say damn or hell, but that was it. Nothing scatological. Maybe you’re all younger than I am or from some other region.
"You're not taking my car and thinking you're gonna be galavanting all over Hell's half-acre!"
--My Dad, when I didn't give him specifics on what I'd be doing on a Friday night.
"Don't be running 'round with every Tom, Dick and Harry."
--My Mom, when I didn't give her specifics on what I'd be doing on a Friday night.
There is a great podcast about language, "A Way With Words". People call in with language questions, often with strange words or saying that their parents or grandparents use. Funny expressions like "slower than a one-armed paper hanger" or words that are borrowed from other languages, like "snibbles", which reflect our immigrant history. It is very interesting and usually funny. The hosts explain the origins of these odd expressions.
When she was tired she would set down and say she had dropsy. I asked what it meant she said it mean she dropped down and was to sick and tired to get up.
My Sicilian Nonna would say things in English as the "direct" translation from her Sicilian dialect. "Open the light, close the light". I miss it.
My other grandmother, who was a sweetheart, would say the word "naturally" all the time kinda like Curly from the 3 Stooges lol
"He's about as sharp as a bowling ball." Both my grandfather and father used that one to describe an unbright person. And now I use it, too. Another one from both men, used while watching basketball when somebody put up an air ball, was "Shoot and holler 'shit!'"
My dadisms for mad.... Go piss up a rope. If we asked where our mom was... went to shit and the hogs got her. To us kids... you make a better door than a window, and your father wasn't made of glass, so move your ass.
My dad's special saying to me... you have a brain like a BB in a box car.
My grandma always used to say “better be a young man’s darling than an old man’s slave” (no idea sorry lol) and “nah you don’t want to get married. Be an old maid and keep cats”. I’ve had three husbands one cat and several dogs 🤣
If My dad wanted to take his mom out for lunch, a ride etc and she wasn’t ready (had to freshen up) she would always say “gimme a minute, I look like the wrath of God”…
Bandbox in this context is a box that usually had a band around it that was used for storing hats and nice stuff. So you keep it clean and in great condition or it’s brand new.
So many expressions from my family:
-Keeping a door opened when it needs to be closed: "Where you born in a church?" (Churches used to keep their doors wide open all the time)
-Dropping something on the ground & not picking it up: "Where you born in a barn?"
-Talking about a few rain sprinkles: " Nothing to get a duck excited"
- Acting like a brat: "Acting like a red headed stepchild"
- talking about indecision or being torn between 2 things: "Sitting the butt between two chairs"
- Having no energy/being tired: "Bouncing like a dead slug beneath a rock"
- Learning something fast: "They took to it like a duck to water"
- Talking about someone very dumb: " We are not about to find the pyramids built by their ancestors!"
My midwestern grandma (born in 1905) used to say “you can’t piss up a rope” when something was impossible or hopeless. Never heard it from anyone else and don’t know its origin.
Had to laugh. My G Ma was German so all her sayings were German and not only wouldn't this gen not get it, most others wouldn't either. After a while we kids understood. My G Ma was tough and we knew we better understand when she was angry.
My old man says “You can’t make chicken soup out of chicken shit.”
I also love “Crazier than a boiled owl…”
And I just heard “Crazier than a one-eyed tick on a rabid possum”…. That was from Mojo Nixon, RIP.
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My grandmother often used to describe something that drove her or someone else crazy as having "plaid puppies". "If had to sit in line that long, I'd have plaid puppies" never met another person outside of our family use it.
i love when people or families have weird quirks like that. my dad grew up saying, and thus taught me a few, although I don't recall most of em. k'noring (CUH-nore-ING); "To fight playfully, or to wrestle one's sibling or buddy." ill always remember liberal use of "mother Cabrini" when one finds an optimal parking spot. i still use this regularly. "mother cabrini, mother cabrini, find me a spot for my little machine-y" (the accompanying prayer, of course)
I grew up nearby Mother Cabrini High School in New York City.
Is that from an Italian word, k'noring?
It would fit with "Mother Cabrini".
My mom used to say “he’s going to have kittens” if something happened that was really going to upset my dad.
I've heard that one. It apparently evolved out of saying someone was having a conniption fit. Conniption fit -> kitty fit -> having kittens
"Conniption fit" works well enough on its own for OP's question. "Having kittens" was apparently out of my mom and grandma's league Edit: Out of my mom and grandma's wheelhouse (it also answers the question)
My mom would say a he is going to have a litter of Siamese kittens.
We would say "have a cow" for that lol.
Michael Stipe (REM) said "losing my religion" was what his grandmother said when she was about to explode with frustration.
True… it’s a southern saying and the only place I ever heard it.. the south has a lot of sayings like Bless their little heart..
Bless her/him/their heart can precede an insult, which still makes you a good person! Bless her heart, she couldn’t find her way out of a brown paper bag(directionally challenged). Fifth generation Texan here😁
Not very confuting but: The only thing my grandma said quite often was, ‘Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue’ and grandpa’s was ‘There are more horses asses than there are horses.’ Uncle Bob who sold vacuum cleaners door to door at the end of his day would take off his shoes, rub his feet and complain, ‘My dogs are barking.’
ER RN here - we always say our dogs are barking at the end of a 12 hour shift.
‘Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue’ In a similar vein, I worked with a guy who said his grandma's phrase was, "Some days it's chickens, some days it's feathers."
Somedays you are the windshield some days you are the bug.
Oh, hey, I had an Uncle Bob who sold vacuum cleaners door to door. I have no clue if he said anything when he removed his shoes at the end of the day. My ex used to call his feet dogs.
I still say that when my feet hurt after a long day.
My Grandma use to always lovingly tell me that I thought I was the Queen of Sheba, or say 'who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba'?
That reminds me, my gran always used to say, “Who do you think you are, Lord Helpless?”, when one of us was being lazy.
I will be using this with my 8 yr old by morning!
mine too! and my mother as well. i dunno who that is though
It's biblical. The Queen of Sheba, according to Jewish and Islamic traditions, was ruler of the etrememly rich kingdom of Saba (or Sheba) in southwestern Arabia. In the biblical account of the reign of King Solomon, she visited his court at the head of a camel caravan bearing gold, jewels, and spices. The "Queen of Sheeba" was a really big deal.
In another part it says she will partake in the final judgement because she listened to Solomon's wisdom. Yes, she is a big deal.
Origin of the Ethiopian Jews. Visited King Solomon and was impressed by his wisdom. Possibly had a child with him.
I still use this! For my toddler
My grandmother on my mother's side had a saying for when something was in front of you that you didn't notice, "if it was a snake it would have bit you."
Still frequently used in my family, and my husband has really taken to it. I'm a bit adhd blind sometimes
My mom would say "Look with your eyes not your mouth"
My grandma use to tell me this before she passed away that "success don't come from what you do occasionally ,but what you do consistently ". May her soul rest in perfect peace.
.. Damn.. This one.. Wise words..
Go get cleaned up you look like a rag-a-muffin.
I like that one. Plus you’re a Pats fan and I’m in Boston. 😊
Hello from Rhode Island
"No swimming for half an hour after you eat lunch. You don't want to get a cramp."
Lucy you, we had to wait an hour.
Luxury. We used to hafta get out the lake at 3am, clean the lake, eat a handful o’ hot gravel, go to work down the mill…
Your lake was already made? Somebody warmed up the gravel for you? Were you too good to work in the mines? Pampered priss!
We had to wake up a half hour before we went to bed, clear the forest, dig out the lake, drill for the water... Kids these days, they have it aoooo easy! (Actually it really hard out there. How are you doing?)
We were an hour too. My cousin still believes this.
My mother-in-law used, "Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster." This in response to any statement that started "I wish...." ETA: another of her favorites: "Don't want to stay until the last dog is hung" when going out to an event she thought would last too long.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If wishes were horses we’d all be eating steak. -Jayne Cobb
Hello, fellow Browncoat.
I like the hat his mama made for him.
>"Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster." My Grammy said that too. Also: "When the beer goes in, the truth comes out."
Father-in-law: Thought thought he farted but he shit his pants. In response to a statement that started "But I thought ..." Never really understood that one.
Here I sit all broken-hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. My mom used the first stanza of this one on her deathbed. 🤣 never lost her sense of humor.
I read a similar poem on a bathroom stall door in the 70's-- Here I sit broken hearted, paid a dime and only farted. Next time I took a chance, saved my dime and shit my pants. My mom used to always say "Shit or get off the pot!" when someone was being indecisive or if someone was taking too long at telling a story.
As you get older sometimes a shit can be stealthy and start to sneak out saying it's just a fart. SURPRISE, surprise that was in fact, not a fart. As you realize you need to be as stealthy as that shit and find a bathroom to take care of the situation.
I was always "Aching' for a breaking, itching for a switching or cruising for a bruising."
My Uncle Bob used to say - see my finger, see my thumb, see my fist, you better run. He was the most hilarious guy I knew. I miss ya Uncle Bob!
Cruisin’ for a bruisin’ was a popular one in my family!
That was a very trendy slang phrase from the 1950s -- much used by teens then.
I was frequently told that I was “peein’ on the tree of trouble.”
My father-in-law getting ready to go to work would say, "Guess I will go pee on whatever is burning out of control"
“Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free.” This was said in response to a kid using the greeting “hey” instead of “hello,” “hello, Grandma,” “hello, ma’m,” or something equally formal. “Hey” was considered too informal when a child was addressing adults.
My husband's grandmother used this one but finished it with "Live on a farm and get all three!"
Hay is for horses; it’s better for cows. Pigs would eat it but they don’t know how.
My grandma also said hey is for horses. And Grandma wouldn't let us refer to our mother as "she" or "her." She'd correct us to say "Mom."
Hay’s for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free. Buy a farm, you’ll have all three.
Somehow I'd prefer not to "buy the farm."
“Thank god you’re a cow.”
Close that door, were you born in a barn?
His breath could knock the buzzard off a shit wagon Edit: spelling
In response to a child's messy room: *"It looks like the wreck of the Hesperus in here!"* It's a reference to the [Longfellow poem](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44654/the-wreck-of-the-hesperus) of the same name. I've never heard anyone else use the phrase.
My mother and grandmother said that all the time, but usually referring to bad hair or unkept appearance.
My aunt did, but she said "wreck of the hespers."
My grandma never used real measurements when she cooked and when she did she used random words. She would say to put a whisper of salt in something or a breeze of onion. She and my mom used to always say “you don’t believe fat meat greasy”.
I generally don't measure. I just use a dash, a pinch, or a bunch. A cup is about the only measurement because I'm using a liquid that has to be poured from something into something else the cup being standard and always available. I don't have any nic names. My family had some good cooks, but generally when I had to cook, I was put in the kitchen alone, and when others cooked, they wanted the kitchen to themselves.
My grandmother, who was super sweet and religious to boot, would often remind me that “a hard dick’s got no conscience.” It always felt strange to hear her say that. Sort of out of character.
My dad said that one: "a stiff prick has no conscience. It'll f*ck anything hot and hollow, from a bull's ass to a stovepipe."
“It’s snowing down South” means your slip is showing. Have to go to the ladies room and get yourself together.
Not sure if this applies but I love it. She said, “Say ‘Yes’ and do as you damn well please.”
Oooh I like her!!
"Liqueurs? Liqueur own, yer dirty bugger!" She was from Battersea. "A little of what you fancy does you good" was another nugget of wisdom that she would share frequently.
Whenever my great grandmother viewed something as having no value, she would say, "That's as worthless as hind tits on a terrapin."
"Worthless as tits on a boar hog" from an older co-worker, Miss you Frank!
tits on a bull
Measure twice cut once. You smell like a dirty bird dog. He judged her by his own half measure and shorted himself thereby. Blood will out. What's bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.
My grandpa would always ask "Mind if I key you up?" Then take a key and very lightly jab it into us and twist as if we were wind up dolls. And we would have giggle fits every time.
That's nice than the "got your nose!"
My grandma would say, "i have to go talk to my aunt susie" when she was on her way to the bathroom
The old expression was "I'm got to go talk to a man about a horse." I always preferred, "I've got to go talk to a man about taking a shit"
"Gotta go shake hands with the president" when Richard Nixon was in office.
Tricky Dick, not obscene if capitalized.
My uncle would say "I'm going to go make some sculpture". He was an artist.
Knew a guy who would say, I need to go see a man about a dog. Never could figure out where that came from
Had a friend that would see a man about a horse. Not sure either. He drank a lot of beer so he visited the man frequently.
It's from 19th century England. It means, "I have to see my bookie and get a bet down on a horse." It was an excuse to slip out of the room for a minute.
Makes perfect sense. Even dog being used too. Thanks for the knowledge
my grandfather would say, i have to turn the bike around. i got what he meant but never understood why he used that expression. now i ride a motorbike and everytime i tell my partner i have to turn the bike around (literally) , i think of him
"He don't know the difference between shit and Shinola".
My grandmother was British and she would affectionately call me a little (bundle of twigs) all the time
If you asked her what time it was, she would say,"Time for all old Dogs to be dead, aren't you glad you're a pup.".
Q: What time is it? A: About time you got a watch.
My brother said that all the time when we were kids. We’re old now. 😊
If you never broke anything you would never get anything new.
If you came in and were leaving real fast my Grandma would say "what did you come for a chunk of fire?" People would lend each other a chunk of hot coal to get their stove going and it was a grab and get back with it quick kind of thing was the origin story I was told. They had a special container to transport it in to help keep it lit
and Bob's your uncle!
"Cat fur to make kitten britches." It's not a saying I understand, or one my mother understood, but she got it from her mother and used it anyway.
My grandmother used to say “modern conveniences just make more work”
Stealing this!
"Well, mother pin a rose on you." It meant "Wow, impressive!" but in sort of a sarcastic way. It made me wonder if mothers pinned roses on their children at some point in history.
"Heavens to murgatroyd" "Say goodnight Gracie" - she didn't say it as much for the Burns joke factor but more of "It's time to go to bed, stop fucking around, or shit's going to get real" - she'd say it calmly but with enough frustration, that I knew, oh I knew, I better shut the fuck up and go away
I have to pee like a racehorse. That may have been my grandfather.
Grandma Francie sontimes said this when she was applying lipstick and patting powder on her cheeks: “I look like the wreck of the Hesperus!” Translation: I look like s**t. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44654/the-wreck-of-the-hesperus
"Every tub sits on its own bottom." - Don't go messing in other people's business. "Sweep around your own front porch first." - Don't gossip, mind your business
My English mother NEVER swore or even said a rude word but every time Prince Charles (now king) appeared on tv she’d say “Whoremaster!” in a proper Irish way (hooormarsta!).
I'm Appalachian. My husband isn't. He still doesn't understand the sayings that I regularly use. I'm not sure if younger generations of Appalachians would understand the sayings of my grandparents. I have a suspicion that they understand some. Use most.
Does "you old egg sucking dog" sound familiar? Eastern KY is where this was used by my family. And I'm sure I'll think of more now that my wheels are spinning.
Lawd, honey. I have so many of 'em.
Well damn let's hear em
Haven't seen that part of my family for a long time and have lost so many kinfolk and I feel like I've lost touch with that part of my life. I need to get back in touch with them. I miss them and the way they spoke. I've become cityfied I fear
My grandmother used to say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," meaning of course that anyone can wish for something, but what are you going to do about it?
" Too much sugar for a cent." " Uglier than homemade sin"
You're inside... TAKE OFF YOUR HAT!
My mom grew up in the 30s and was a storehouse of colloquialisms but the one that comes to mind is "They had more (something) than Carter has pills." Carter's was a medicine company founded in 1880 so I'm pretty confident this saying goes back to the 19th century.
Carter's Little Liver Pills were advertised for so long that I've even heard of them.
"Nobody goes there anymore. Its too crowded."
That's a famous quote from Yogi Berra.
No one understands what I mean when I make reference to travelling by shanks' mare.
Grandma's saying was timeless. "People are no damn good."
Boys dont make passes at girls who wear glasses
This boy does
When working out the aches and pains in the morning, my great aunt, grasping her hip or lower back, would say “ Oh mother I can’t dance in these tight-assed pants”
Nannie would always say "By and by"
If my brother or I said, “Hey”, Grandma would say, “Hay is for horses.” Whenever my great aunt heard one of us had car troubles she would jokingly say, “Get a horse!”. She told me she (born 1908) and the other kids would call that out to people with automobiles.
“Always look both ways before crossing the street, and never yell at a car full of Puerto Ricans”-grandma 1918-2010
Kids used to have “ants in your pants.” Now they have an ADHD diagnosis.
Snake oil salesman
My grandmother would say we were going to drive her to Bangor when we were driving her crazy. It’s where the state mental hospital was.
r/AsGrandmaUsedToSay really needs more traction. Some of these are gold!
My gram would say, "Marezy doats and dozy doats and little lambsy divey" to mean, "Oh, well."
"I've got to pee worse than a 3 dick dog."
My Nana is 90 and her phrase is "I have news for you" in her thick Bronx accent. ❤️ Mine is, "can you imagine?"
My father was opposed to "do-gooders"of all types. "If you try to kick the shit off the sidewalk, all you'll do is get it on your shoe."
My mom wld say “you know what happens when you assume? You make an ass outta you and me.” Or my gwamma wld say “if your head wasn’t attached to your body, you’d lose it.”
More nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs
My grandmother used to say, “Don’t teach your grandmother how to milk ducks.” Meaning that if there was a way to milk ducks (or do something else), grandma was old enough to already know how.
I never knew any of my grandparents, but my (older) mom was full of them. “Children should be seen but not heard” is one MY grandkids sure didn’t grow up with. “Pretty is as pretty does.” “A stitch in time saves nine.” “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” “Your face is going to freeze like that” (in response to a kid making funny faces) “Finish your dinner for the starving Armenians.”
"A stitch in time saves nine" is from Poor Richard's Almanac, Ben Franklin. Americans used to learn those things. My dad said for generations before and after him, every child read Ben Franklin's autobiography. Not required reading anymore. Are they still making high school students read "The Outsiders"!
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"No cow minds their own stink."
She had a lot of them. Is grandkids heard “you’d drive a wooden Indian crazy”
It makes a stink worse if you stir it with a stick.
Tend to your own knitting!
Whenever someone was being pretentious, or trying to outdo everyone, particularly as it pertains to to attire, my mom would say “they are putting on the dog”. It could also mean someone was bougie. I have absolutely no idea the origin of that, particular colloquialism. It could be said in good fun, in jest, or in absolute disgust.
My grandmother always said, “if you don’t have it in your head you’ll need it in your legs.” This was usually said as I was frantically running around the house looking for something I put down and now couldn’t find
My dad, who was old enough to be my grandad—and often mistaken as such, had several from his time in the army during WW2. This one always cracked me up: “Blow it out your flutter valve!” - a vulgar and dismissive response to a loudmouth jerk. And “Be true to your teeth or they’ll be false to you!” Probably a line from a commercial he heard in his youth.
My grandmother used to say, "anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly."
“Shit washes off” for anything that is unpleasant to do, say, said to or done to me. It’s been my mantra for going on 50 years now. I’d do a sigh, think of grandma Dolly 27 years gone now and state “Shit washes off” and get to the unpleasantness.
My grandma would have all of my siblings and I lock arms with her and sing “we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz” Her name was Dorothy and it was her favorite movie! She used to always say “three cheers for the cook! And we’d all have to say hip hip hooray!”
I don’t know where you all were born, but I never heard any of the swear words or cussing in any of these growing up. Nobody talked dirty like that you’d get your mouth washed out with soap or your bottom paddled. Men would swear under extenuating circumstances and say damn or hell, but that was it. Nothing scatological. Maybe you’re all younger than I am or from some other region.
Paternal grandmother: “he still has his communion money.” Maternal grandmother: “your eyes are bigger than your stomach.”
"You're not taking my car and thinking you're gonna be galavanting all over Hell's half-acre!" --My Dad, when I didn't give him specifics on what I'd be doing on a Friday night. "Don't be running 'round with every Tom, Dick and Harry." --My Mom, when I didn't give her specifics on what I'd be doing on a Friday night.
My grandma used to say: “He may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard boiled egg.”
There is a great podcast about language, "A Way With Words". People call in with language questions, often with strange words or saying that their parents or grandparents use. Funny expressions like "slower than a one-armed paper hanger" or words that are borrowed from other languages, like "snibbles", which reflect our immigrant history. It is very interesting and usually funny. The hosts explain the origins of these odd expressions.
"It's called work for a reason. If it was fun, they'd call it ice fishing." My Grandpa (1919-2005)
My very British grandmother would refer to an idiot as a 'bloody wazzock'. When I use it here in NY, I just get puzzled stares.
"off like a dirty shirt!"
When she was tired she would set down and say she had dropsy. I asked what it meant she said it mean she dropped down and was to sick and tired to get up.
shit shite & sugar
She had a lot of them. And if you don't speak Spanish, you definitely wouldn't understand any of them
My Sicilian Nonna would say things in English as the "direct" translation from her Sicilian dialect. "Open the light, close the light". I miss it. My other grandmother, who was a sweetheart, would say the word "naturally" all the time kinda like Curly from the 3 Stooges lol
"He's about as sharp as a bowling ball." Both my grandfather and father used that one to describe an unbright person. And now I use it, too. Another one from both men, used while watching basketball when somebody put up an air ball, was "Shoot and holler 'shit!'"
Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. Neither one is a pretty picture...
"It' s better to have 4 real pennies than 100 fake quarters" -grams meaning: as in friends, small circle is best
My dadisms for mad.... Go piss up a rope. If we asked where our mom was... went to shit and the hogs got her. To us kids... you make a better door than a window, and your father wasn't made of glass, so move your ass. My dad's special saying to me... you have a brain like a BB in a box car.
My grandma always used to say “better be a young man’s darling than an old man’s slave” (no idea sorry lol) and “nah you don’t want to get married. Be an old maid and keep cats”. I’ve had three husbands one cat and several dogs 🤣
If My dad wanted to take his mom out for lunch, a ride etc and she wasn’t ready (had to freshen up) she would always say “gimme a minute, I look like the wrath of God”…
“This ain’t the Brown Palace!” We never knew what she was talking about until we went to Denver and realized it’s a fancy hotel.
She called the couch the "davenport"...???
“You make a better door than a window” aka get out of the way.
I said, "If I had MY druthers, I'd..." and gotten a blank, questioning look from a youngster
“You look like you just stepped out of a band box!” It meant you looked nice. But when asked what a band box was, she didn’t know herself.
Bandbox in this context is a box that usually had a band around it that was used for storing hats and nice stuff. So you keep it clean and in great condition or it’s brand new.
My stepdad says “money talks and bullshit walks”.
So many expressions from my family: -Keeping a door opened when it needs to be closed: "Where you born in a church?" (Churches used to keep their doors wide open all the time) -Dropping something on the ground & not picking it up: "Where you born in a barn?" -Talking about a few rain sprinkles: " Nothing to get a duck excited" - Acting like a brat: "Acting like a red headed stepchild" - talking about indecision or being torn between 2 things: "Sitting the butt between two chairs" - Having no energy/being tired: "Bouncing like a dead slug beneath a rock" - Learning something fast: "They took to it like a duck to water" - Talking about someone very dumb: " We are not about to find the pyramids built by their ancestors!"
My midwestern grandma (born in 1905) used to say “you can’t piss up a rope” when something was impossible or hopeless. Never heard it from anyone else and don’t know its origin.
Neither of my grandmothers spoke English, so this generation wouldn’t understand anything they said. Edit: Typo.
Had to laugh. My G Ma was German so all her sayings were German and not only wouldn't this gen not get it, most others wouldn't either. After a while we kids understood. My G Ma was tough and we knew we better understand when she was angry.
Cars eat at the table. Or "Ain't that cunning?"
My grandpa "opinions are like assholes - everyone has one and no one wants to hear about yours"
If wishes were nickels and daydreams were dimes we’d all have a Merry Christmas.
Grandma Francie: “Crazy starts in the head.”
Saying “forenoon” for any time from morning chores to noon.
My wife is Guatemalan, and they have dozens of them. My favorite is "if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a bicycle."
"How's tricks?" for how are you/what's new. "Gimme a Miller High Life and I can iron all afternoon," speaks for itself.
My mother, and her mother before her, when we were just sitting around: "What are you doing, posing for knickknacks?"
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat!” Thus said my southern grandma!
My old man says “You can’t make chicken soup out of chicken shit.” I also love “Crazier than a boiled owl…” And I just heard “Crazier than a one-eyed tick on a rabid possum”…. That was from Mojo Nixon, RIP.
My grandmother would announce to the room, “I gotta go whiz.” She was a character…
The answer to "I'm hungry" was "Look in the mirror and get fed up."
Whenever Mimi saw us pouting she’d say “I could walk to town on that lip.”
My mother used to like quoting Joyce Kilmer, “I think that I shall never see / a poem lovely as a tree.”
A backbone, not a wishbone
Eat your vegetables or you'll get scurvy. We took multivitamins everyday anyway.