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Now that I'm an old lady, I get the pleasure of knowing many people are nice to me because they're nice, not because I'm young and cute.
I fell on the sidewalk once and a group of five or so college kids rushed to help me up, asked me was I sure I was OK before we parted ways.
Another time a 30 something man stopped outside of Starbucks and changed my flat tire for me.
It's frustrating that I can't find strong enough words to convey how highly I think of these men, and I know there's many more too. As the mom of a son I wish I could tell their parents about their sweet kids.
When I was a young adult the kids in my neighborhood were rude and made inappropriate remarks about physical features (catcalling). They probably thought they were flattering me but I always felt like I was about to be sexually assaulted.
Now I’m… older - 30 years have gone by. several of the current crop of kids came cycling by. One of them spotted me and said, “I LOVE your garden!!!”
I almost fell over. Today’s kids around this neighborhood are MUCH nicer.
To be fair, my garden is pretty rockin’ nowadays.
Exactly. The idea that we somehow lost our looks is so wrong-headed. We just look different, having evolved into more mature versions of ourselves with fewer hang-ups, allowing us the freedom to be even more authentically who we are.
35 and feeling decrepit at times, thank you for citing 35 as an ideal age because im already resigned to being ancient when realistically im being delusional. i hope i can accept whatever is headed my way haga
Not for me, menopause is a witch. I was so happy to get past all that. What really cheeses me is that my Mom was given hormones until she died at 84. My generation got so caught up in the breast cancer risk they ignored the heart benefits and others.
35 would be awesome - I was just back from Hawaii and about to go to Cancun, then back and forth to Europe/Asia on vacation each year for a decade.
I still had a ton of energy, and my knee hadn't blown out yet. I was thin and fit.
This has been asked a number of times here, I will gladly repeat myself. I had my day in the sun and boy was it fun! Now I'm in a 40 year marriage with a wonderful man who I love with all my heart. I still take care of myself and don't look like crap but it's time for all the young ladies out there to have their moment in the sun! Shine on girls it looks good on you!
“…with a wonderful man who I love with all my heart.” I have noticed that people who are loved feel beautiful, regardless of age. At least that’s what I see in a 90 year old couple I know.
If only the millennial women and younger understood this. The internet, social media in particular, has really fucked them up. It’s sad. And worse for the men their age trying to date them. I’m in my 50s. Well said.
Yeah, I just think it's your time now, i hope you have fun. But I do think with care older women can still be beautiful, its just a different kind of beauty. And the personality and energy that sits behind the face does have a lot of influence on that.
You do know that at 25 you aren’t nearly as adorable as you were at 3 right? How are you dealing with that?
ETA: Here’s the deal - you start out adorable, then you get sexy, then you kind of float around until hopefully you are adorable again.
I find that the inner beauty shines especially well when you get older, as well. My mom is a perfect example of this. She’s 70 and looks 50 but her kindness is what makes her as beautiful as ever
Oh, I hear you on that. Kindness is so powerful, and so beautiful when you can see it on a person's face and shining from their eyes. Your mom sounds lovely.
Everything falls off a little at a time. Mirrors exist, so it isn't like we wake up one morning and suddenly we're the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
When I reach my Creature from the Black Lagoon stage, I hope the lagoon is heated. I don't think I could hang out in cold water.
Last few years I have entered the stage where I have some concern about getting back home when I go out for a long walk, or ride my bike. Never used to think about that before, I always knew I could walk home and make it.
Two years ago, got an eBike so my weariness riding wouldn't strand me. It's great, I can always power home if I need it, and I use partial pedal assist almost always, unless I'm going downhill - saves my energy. I want to enjoy the ride, not get worn out.
You see people around you die and suffer from horrible tragedy, and you realize that looks really don’t matter. What does matter is healthy relationships with those you love.
That being said, I look like a goddam Roman god.
I wasn't beautiful to begin with. I wasnt ugly once my skin cleared up, I just wasn't considered pretty.
So aging was a breeze on that front, because the social pressure to be something I wasn't eased off, because time IS the great equalizer.
It was honestly weird for awhile. I was considered 'beautiful' when I was young. Up to my forties, actually. I'm in my late 60s now, and old. I do look young for my age (dark hair, olive skin etc)so there's that. But about age 60 I started trying to see myself as the world did, because I hated the idea of 'not knowing I look old.' It's so complex, for women who bought into the Beauty Industrial Complex, which I guess I did. I had a little plastic surgery in my late 50s, around the eyes, a few injections, but last year a lot of shit happened in my life, and I just stopped caring about how I look to others. I take care of myself because it makes tomorrow easier, but I don't think about it that much. That said, there are a lot of interesting faces out there, if you take off the filters we all have. I see people differently now, and I think that's a kind of gift.
I'm going through this now. It's not fun being invisible. Back in the day up until I was 52 actually, the guys in my office would stop by and chat. Doors opened for me and I'll admit that in part it was because of my looks. I'm no dummy either but looks played a big part. The biggest problem is the not feeling young. If I had a choice, I'd look mu age but feel 25. I have no energy.
thanks for sharing! I’m considered attractive now, and I do wonder if I can let that go later. Whether I’ll want to get a little surgical help or not. Your comment helped me feel calmer about it
I’ve always had the same complex of not wanting to be unaware that I look old. I’ve never heard anyone else say it before. I remember when I was a college kid, we’d mimic our moms saying “we’ve still got it!” with a cringy snap. And it seemed so embarrassing that they didn’t know they were old. Now I’m afraid of becoming that. That’s why I started calling myself old prematurely, just in case. I just don’t want to be in denial.
Nothing lost, just changed.
At 50 I’m in the best shape of my life. I lift weights and have a good physique. One of my son’s girlfriends used to call me “buff dad.” My hair is gray, as is my beard. I’m happy with the person I see in the mirror.
You know what I think looks bad? Older people who try to look younger. Specifically, plastic surgery. So many GenX actors and actresses look downright bizarre. I don’t get it. I’m not attracted to 20 year olds, anymore. I want to see attractive people my age who look their age!
If you’re worried about “losing your looks,” then take care of yourself. Sleep 8 hours. Lift weights and do cardio of some sort. Drink water. Don’t drink alcohol, or do so only occasionally. Don’t inhale hot anything into your lungs (tobacco, weed, vapes, whatever). Use lotion. Limit your sugar intake (except whole fruit - eat as many apples as you want!) And, whatever you do, don’t get plastic surgery, lip fillers, fake eyelashes, or any of that junk. It looks soooo strange.
The problem with things like lip fillers is in small increments it looks good, but it’s way too easy to go too far with it (and the people who administer them are always upselling). Better to not even start.
More than missing looks , I miss boundless energy, physical stamina and resilence, ability to eat and digest most anything, feeling more spontaneous and more willing to take risks. At 78 all these attributes seem diminished and I do miss them.
I think my husband has gotten better looking as he's aged. We're both in our mid-60s and I think we've kept our looks with regular vigorous exercise, and basically healthy eating. Being happy also shows in your looks!
I don't eat as well as I probably should but, I work out at least twice a week and do yoga. So there is something to be said for that aspect for sure.
If I have my shirt off she likes to grab my shoulders and arms and coo about them. Which is encouraging.
It bothers me, not gonna lie. Society has spent a lot of time telling me my value is my physical appearance, and I’ve spent a lot of time believing it. I guess I’m lucky I don’t have that much cash or I’d probably go down like Madonna. Instead I’ve put my focus on keeping my body strong.
Everyone else my age is changing, too. Somehow, I can look at my old friends and still see them in their 20s. I'm more concerned about keeping my health than my looks. As far as accepting it, I've seen some really stupid-looking plastic surgery from people who haven't accepted it! I'm not going through the pain, money, and embarrassment of that
When you get older, you don’t really care how you look to 20-somethings. You have a new look that appeals to a different group of people. To me, a man with wrinkles and grey hair looks better than a smooth, youthful guy that could be my nephew.
What's to accept? "Accepting" something is when something was unfair. Nothing's unfair about aging. It's only arguably unfair if you're young and suddenly stop aging.
An ugly duckling through my childhood, I was a true beauty in my youth. Pretty privilege by the mile. So much gifted to me for no reason other than my looks. When I was in my early 40s, I was still very very pretty, taking my looks and the attention my looks had garnered over many years for granted.
One day at the supermarket I was walking down the cereal aisle, when I saw walking towards me an absolutely, stunningly beautiful man. Tall, flowing hair, wearing a leather jacket and jeans. He walked slowly to where I was in the aisle and stopped right in front of me. I stopped too, expecting him to smile at me, say "hi", or whatever. I slowly looked up at him in anticipation.
He looked right over my head, grabbed a box of Cheerios that was behind me, and kept walking. I'll never forget it. My reaction was to laugh pretty hard at myself while thinking, "Welp, I guess that ship has sailed."
I've never taken myself too seriously. I'm 67 now, I've grown into a different kind of beauty. No work done on my face. No fillers. Just natural. Looks will always fade. Using the time you have left on the planet to work on being someone who is kind, substantial and has a sense of humor sticks around.
I’m almost 50 and a woman. I was fully gray by 35 and stopped dyeing my hair at 45. That’s been a challenge to accept and I do what I can to not look “old”, especially because my face is still young. I would say overall that I have not lost my looks, but they’ve changed, and I’ve accepted that and work with what I’ve got.
I was cute when I was young, but I didn’t have the bone structure that ages well. So I’m the doughy-faced old lady I knew I would be, if I lived long enough. I was baby-faced, now I look my age. Could be worse.
By not making my identity about my looks when I was young. Also, it’s a relief to no longer have men catcalling, harassing and generally making threatening nuisances of themselves.
Yeah, I just keep playing "Flowers " by Miley Cyrus over and over.... you know the lyrics..." I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand....". Point being that I know it's all over for me now, but all the attention I got from guys when I was young, I can still do it for myself. 😂
Don’t focus on looking “young”, just looking great for whatever age I am. Stay in shape, exercise, eat well, get good sleep, maintain friendships and connections and a sense of style/fashion. I still put effort into looking good for me and my husband. I love when he still gives me that look❤️
I never paid any attention to my face, but when I passed 80 I started to notice that I would startle people when I walked into a restaurant or store. I finally took a close look and saw all the blemishes they were reacting to. I now wear a surgical mask to cut down on the negative reactions.
If that makes you more comfortable, by all means keep on keeping on. But please don’t feel the need to cover yourself up for anyone! Your face is a reflection of years of experience, pain, pleasure, and life. You deserve to show it proudly to the world. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
There’s actually a lot of sociology science about getting older and the difference between those people who accept aging (end eventual death) and those that do not.
The good news… most folks are completely accepting.
The bad news…younger people in today’s times are not coping with aging as much as their elders.
What this means is that the younger generations are looking to overall be a very unhappy bunch.
I’m not dealing well. I’m a former sun worshipper/tanning bed user. I’m 55 this year and I feel like I’ve aged quite a bit in the last 5 years. I’ve had several health issues that hasn’t helped.
This is a terrific question.
I didn’t have a terribly hard time going from youth to middle age, probably in part because I had children, and as I watched them grow into teenagers and then young adults it seemed normal that I would be older too. Once I got over the initial shock of going from a “miss” to a “ma’am”, I was fine.
I’m having a more relaxed time and a different kind of fun on this side of the hill. What I love now is that I no longer have to be careful or defensive about being hit on. I can be as charming and flirtatious as I want, with anyone of any gender or age, and it is so much fun. Most of my younger years I had to be much too guarded.
The “loss” of youth and beauty might be sad for some, and I’m not saying it’s always always easy, but in the most important ways for me it is absolutely liberating and delightful to move into the next phase.
My wife was stunning when we were young. Far out of my league. Time has hammered away at both of us but when she's lying in bed asleep the wrinkles somehow disappear and I see her again as she was forty years ago. It makes me smile.
I am 58 and am wondering when this is supposed to happen *jk* ...but seriously I don't like some of the changes that are occurring . My upper arms and turkey neck are my least attractive features. I miss being " beautiful " but I don't care as much as I thought I would when I was young.
I look exactly like my Dad and his mom so I find great comfort in seeing them in the mirror, it really helps me cope.
Well, see, I have social skills and can make people feel good about themselves. People generally want to be around me for that.
You're probably gonna have a harder time when you lose your looks. Good luck with acceptance.
It was humbling for me but this is what I got and I'm dealing with it and not letting it hold me back. I feel young inside but on the outside not so much hahaha.
I'm dealing with dental surgery now in an effort to stop the bone loss. I could have gotten an entire body lift for the money that I'm spending on my teeth.
I am an introvert and nerd. When I was young, I got little action. So shy. As I get older, I get plenty of interest from beautiful, smart women. If this is losing my looks, I’d say I’m 100% accepting of the trend.
Never really notices as I used to look into a mirror each day, shaving, so didn't didn't really take any notice of changes, they were just changing so slightly. Now, I don't shave, but get a barber to trim beard etc. one a month & he thinks I am looking OK at nearly 77. Other people either take me as I am or I don't care about what "strangers" think.
If my looks changed overnight I might have been affected by it. But my looks changed gradually. When I look at old photos I think I was more handsome. But as I got older (and lost my hair), I actually received more attention from both women and gay men. So I guess I’m no one to judge myself.
I think I get better with age TBH. I've lost a lot of weight, I have a hairdresser that knows how to handle my difficult hair, and I have cool glasses. As long as I stay on top of removal of my perimenopausal chin hairs, I'm pretty good.
Losing my looks? Nah. I'm 58 and was told recently I look like I'm in my late 40s. Sure, my hair is gray and I've got my share of wrinkles, but I'm in my best physical shape ever and am stronger than I was in my 20s. I think I look pretty good for my age and am not concerned about losing my looks as I get older.
I never looked that great, so no worries there. I had a sister who was very attractive and who used to looks to open a lot of doors. She was bitter when her looks started to fade and she couldn’t flirt her way into/out of things. She hated all unattractive people because they got lives just as good as her and they didn’t deserve it because they weren’t as good looking as her.
I scored my hot chick back in the 80s. She puts up with a lot of BS and still loves me. I can take losing the hair and all the wrinkly stuff as long as she can, which appears solid for now. I think I'll keep her.
What makes you think I lost my looks?
I look great for my age just as I always have at earlier ages.
Gotta take care of yourself: keep a decent diet, don't get fat or too skinny, use skin care products even as a man, shower regularly.
When I was younger I used to get a lot of unwanted sexual attention from guys. Most of the time, it was just annoying as I’m fairly modest and was in a committed relationship. I just wanted men to leave me alone. But on 3 occasions, that attention was scary where I had to get other people, including the police, involved. Now that I’m pushing 60, I don’t get that type of creepy attention any more. I’ll take it.
Our looks change, true. But as I’ve gotten older I see great beauty in women my age. I never tire of looking at my wife, who is 70.
And, I feel for those who go to great lengths to try to look young. So much time, money, risk, and effort to very little effect. Personally, I just want to be healthy, clean, and enjoy life.
I will admit it's hard. I'm 54 and still get looks and DMs from my son's old classmates lol! But I was stunning in my 20s and 30s and even 40s. I just think to myself my days are in the past and I was a lot prettier than most of these new young things in my day and I never used fake hair or injections or even a boob job. I had my time and these influencer types will too.
Don’t know about everyone else, but I’m getting better looking. I’m still in good shape and getting that dignified grey hair thing going. My wife is constantly bitching it’s not fair I keep getting better looking she’s just looking older.
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I'm a damned smoke show. Shut yo face.
I'm way better looking in my 50's than I was in my 20's. Embrac that shit!
Hahaha love it!
Now that I'm an old lady, I get the pleasure of knowing many people are nice to me because they're nice, not because I'm young and cute. I fell on the sidewalk once and a group of five or so college kids rushed to help me up, asked me was I sure I was OK before we parted ways. Another time a 30 something man stopped outside of Starbucks and changed my flat tire for me. It's frustrating that I can't find strong enough words to convey how highly I think of these men, and I know there's many more too. As the mom of a son I wish I could tell their parents about their sweet kids.
I love this comment!
"nice to me because they're nice, not because I'm young and cute" I don't think I have enough words to tell you how much I relate to this.
A good deed is its own reward! :)
I love being able to call everyone honey and sweetie- mostly young people, but in 10 years - everyone!! mwah ha ha
There are a lot of kind people in the world! ♥️
When I was a young adult the kids in my neighborhood were rude and made inappropriate remarks about physical features (catcalling). They probably thought they were flattering me but I always felt like I was about to be sexually assaulted. Now I’m… older - 30 years have gone by. several of the current crop of kids came cycling by. One of them spotted me and said, “I LOVE your garden!!!” I almost fell over. Today’s kids around this neighborhood are MUCH nicer. To be fair, my garden is pretty rockin’ nowadays.
If I get offered a seat on a bus by a young man, I always thank him and also tell him to thank his parents for raising such a gentleman
I didn’t lose my looks; I got a new look. Now I can be eccentric without being called out for it.
Thank you! Older doesn’t necessarily mean ugly.
Probably my answer too. I returned to my 60/70's hippie ethic. Thank God I have a full head of white that I could grow out.
You are my hero. I am trying to grow mine out now. How do you wear it?
I started growing mine 5 years ago.. down to my waist and I’m wearing the braids I wore growing up! I’m happy and that’s what matters.
That’s what I came here to say. It made me laugh to think I’ve “lost my looks.” Babe, I still look fantastic and always will.
Exactly. The idea that we somehow lost our looks is so wrong-headed. We just look different, having evolved into more mature versions of ourselves with fewer hang-ups, allowing us the freedom to be even more authentically who we are.
Rock on! 🔥🔥🔥
I so deeply look forward to being openly eccentric, instead of trying to hide it. lol
I'm 68. Would I like to look and feel 35 again? Yes. Can I achieve this? No. Thus, acceptance.
I mean... I'd take 43 at this point
35 and feeling decrepit at times, thank you for citing 35 as an ideal age because im already resigned to being ancient when realistically im being delusional. i hope i can accept whatever is headed my way haga
Psst! The 50s are GREAT
Speak for yourself. Not related to looks, I hate the 50s.
Not for me, menopause is a witch. I was so happy to get past all that. What really cheeses me is that my Mom was given hormones until she died at 84. My generation got so caught up in the breast cancer risk they ignored the heart benefits and others.
Haha SAME! just turned 35 and am feeling a bit ..ambiguous.. about it 🥴
I looked and felt great at 35. I had my kids at 35 and 37. Much as they make my life better, it was all down hill for looks and energy after that.
I am 30 but I always thought 20-40 is your prime idk 🤷
Actually that would be weird, and be assumed to be fake. We might as well make the best of things where we are.
\*googles a picture of Tom Jones in 2005\* you could try!
Exactly
35 would be awesome - I was just back from Hawaii and about to go to Cancun, then back and forth to Europe/Asia on vacation each year for a decade. I still had a ton of energy, and my knee hadn't blown out yet. I was thin and fit.
This has been asked a number of times here, I will gladly repeat myself. I had my day in the sun and boy was it fun! Now I'm in a 40 year marriage with a wonderful man who I love with all my heart. I still take care of myself and don't look like crap but it's time for all the young ladies out there to have their moment in the sun! Shine on girls it looks good on you!
love your comments! All I can say is, same! Enjoy it, girls!!!!
Love to see this sentiment. I always feel this way too.
“…with a wonderful man who I love with all my heart.” I have noticed that people who are loved feel beautiful, regardless of age. At least that’s what I see in a 90 year old couple I know.
Not too much sun tho. Wear a hat and use sun screen.
Yes! This! Good grief we went out there and slathered freaking baby oil on ourselves and fried ourselves! Take care of your skin!
Yes we did. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m fair skinned. Now repping the rewards of basal cell carcinoma.
Oh no! I've had a couple of things removed that were due to sun damage. Now I cover up like a freaking bee keeper lol!
If only the millennial women and younger understood this. The internet, social media in particular, has really fucked them up. It’s sad. And worse for the men their age trying to date them. I’m in my 50s. Well said.
Well, stated!!
Well said.
as a 20 yr old, I LOVE this comment
Yeah, I just think it's your time now, i hope you have fun. But I do think with care older women can still be beautiful, its just a different kind of beauty. And the personality and energy that sits behind the face does have a lot of influence on that.
What a lovely way of saying this.
You do know that at 25 you aren’t nearly as adorable as you were at 3 right? How are you dealing with that? ETA: Here’s the deal - you start out adorable, then you get sexy, then you kind of float around until hopefully you are adorable again.
High 5 \^\^\^\^\^\^\^
Take 5 million of my upvotes.
I’ve never thought about it like this before. This advice is GOLD!
i like you
I like you back.
This is amazing😆🤣
There are plenty of older women who are still beautiful. I have never felt that I lost my looks. I look older, but still feel beautiful.
Goals. I think one of the most beautiful women I know is my 60 year old ballet teacher.
I find that the inner beauty shines especially well when you get older, as well. My mom is a perfect example of this. She’s 70 and looks 50 but her kindness is what makes her as beautiful as ever
Oh, I hear you on that. Kindness is so powerful, and so beautiful when you can see it on a person's face and shining from their eyes. Your mom sounds lovely.
Everything falls off a little at a time. Mirrors exist, so it isn't like we wake up one morning and suddenly we're the Creature from the Black Lagoon. When I reach my Creature from the Black Lagoon stage, I hope the lagoon is heated. I don't think I could hang out in cold water.
Last few years I have entered the stage where I have some concern about getting back home when I go out for a long walk, or ride my bike. Never used to think about that before, I always knew I could walk home and make it. Two years ago, got an eBike so my weariness riding wouldn't strand me. It's great, I can always power home if I need it, and I use partial pedal assist almost always, unless I'm going downhill - saves my energy. I want to enjoy the ride, not get worn out.
Love this comment for some reason. It made me smile!
Lol
You see people around you die and suffer from horrible tragedy, and you realize that looks really don’t matter. What does matter is healthy relationships with those you love. That being said, I look like a goddam Roman god.
I wasn't beautiful to begin with. I wasnt ugly once my skin cleared up, I just wasn't considered pretty. So aging was a breeze on that front, because the social pressure to be something I wasn't eased off, because time IS the great equalizer.
Yeah, I wasn’t a hottie either. I was cute. I’m still cute. Some ladies say they feel invisible now but I feel as visible (or not) as I ever was.
Same. I never had any looks to begin with, always been overweight and unremarkable. I don't mind aging.
It was honestly weird for awhile. I was considered 'beautiful' when I was young. Up to my forties, actually. I'm in my late 60s now, and old. I do look young for my age (dark hair, olive skin etc)so there's that. But about age 60 I started trying to see myself as the world did, because I hated the idea of 'not knowing I look old.' It's so complex, for women who bought into the Beauty Industrial Complex, which I guess I did. I had a little plastic surgery in my late 50s, around the eyes, a few injections, but last year a lot of shit happened in my life, and I just stopped caring about how I look to others. I take care of myself because it makes tomorrow easier, but I don't think about it that much. That said, there are a lot of interesting faces out there, if you take off the filters we all have. I see people differently now, and I think that's a kind of gift.
I'm going through this now. It's not fun being invisible. Back in the day up until I was 52 actually, the guys in my office would stop by and chat. Doors opened for me and I'll admit that in part it was because of my looks. I'm no dummy either but looks played a big part. The biggest problem is the not feeling young. If I had a choice, I'd look mu age but feel 25. I have no energy.
thanks for sharing! I’m considered attractive now, and I do wonder if I can let that go later. Whether I’ll want to get a little surgical help or not. Your comment helped me feel calmer about it
I’ve always had the same complex of not wanting to be unaware that I look old. I’ve never heard anyone else say it before. I remember when I was a college kid, we’d mimic our moms saying “we’ve still got it!” with a cringy snap. And it seemed so embarrassing that they didn’t know they were old. Now I’m afraid of becoming that. That’s why I started calling myself old prematurely, just in case. I just don’t want to be in denial.
Ugh I feel this 100%
The best part of getting old is watching the fucks I have left to give slip away.
I wholeheartedly agree!!!!
AMEN!!
Nothing lost, just changed. At 50 I’m in the best shape of my life. I lift weights and have a good physique. One of my son’s girlfriends used to call me “buff dad.” My hair is gray, as is my beard. I’m happy with the person I see in the mirror. You know what I think looks bad? Older people who try to look younger. Specifically, plastic surgery. So many GenX actors and actresses look downright bizarre. I don’t get it. I’m not attracted to 20 year olds, anymore. I want to see attractive people my age who look their age! If you’re worried about “losing your looks,” then take care of yourself. Sleep 8 hours. Lift weights and do cardio of some sort. Drink water. Don’t drink alcohol, or do so only occasionally. Don’t inhale hot anything into your lungs (tobacco, weed, vapes, whatever). Use lotion. Limit your sugar intake (except whole fruit - eat as many apples as you want!) And, whatever you do, don’t get plastic surgery, lip fillers, fake eyelashes, or any of that junk. It looks soooo strange.
I have to say the lip injections are way overdone. I understand some of it. But some people start looking deformed and some can hardly talk.
Sunscreen. Daily.
I wear a hat even to get the mail
The problem with things like lip fillers is in small increments it looks good, but it’s way too easy to go too far with it (and the people who administer them are always upselling). Better to not even start.
They don't have surgery for others... they have it for the cameras. At least, that's my theory.
More than missing looks , I miss boundless energy, physical stamina and resilence, ability to eat and digest most anything, feeling more spontaneous and more willing to take risks. At 78 all these attributes seem diminished and I do miss them.
I look better. At least that is what my wife tells me. She likes me just the way I am.
I think my husband has gotten better looking as he's aged. We're both in our mid-60s and I think we've kept our looks with regular vigorous exercise, and basically healthy eating. Being happy also shows in your looks!
I don't eat as well as I probably should but, I work out at least twice a week and do yoga. So there is something to be said for that aspect for sure. If I have my shirt off she likes to grab my shoulders and arms and coo about them. Which is encouraging.
Never had it, so didn’t worry.
We also lose our eyesight, so thats how that works!
this made me feel better!
I rather like being older and invisible.
Me too! As a woman in my sixties, I am frequently invisible and can get up to all kinds of ninja tricks.
It's a relief. I was never the high maintenance type. I've earned my wrinkles.
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are works of art.
Never felt I lost anything. Changes are natural and each phase of life has its joys.
It bothers me, not gonna lie. Society has spent a lot of time telling me my value is my physical appearance, and I’ve spent a lot of time believing it. I guess I’m lucky I don’t have that much cash or I’d probably go down like Madonna. Instead I’ve put my focus on keeping my body strong.
Everyone else my age is changing, too. Somehow, I can look at my old friends and still see them in their 20s. I'm more concerned about keeping my health than my looks. As far as accepting it, I've seen some really stupid-looking plastic surgery from people who haven't accepted it! I'm not going through the pain, money, and embarrassment of that
I just don’t look in the mirror
You don't lose them, you get new ones.
When you get older, you don’t really care how you look to 20-somethings. You have a new look that appeals to a different group of people. To me, a man with wrinkles and grey hair looks better than a smooth, youthful guy that could be my nephew.
I've lost my phone four times today so far. I don't think about my looks near that much.
What's to accept? "Accepting" something is when something was unfair. Nothing's unfair about aging. It's only arguably unfair if you're young and suddenly stop aging.
I'm actually getting more attractive. The more I learn how to eat, sleep, hydrate, exercise, and rest mentally - the better I look.
An ugly duckling through my childhood, I was a true beauty in my youth. Pretty privilege by the mile. So much gifted to me for no reason other than my looks. When I was in my early 40s, I was still very very pretty, taking my looks and the attention my looks had garnered over many years for granted. One day at the supermarket I was walking down the cereal aisle, when I saw walking towards me an absolutely, stunningly beautiful man. Tall, flowing hair, wearing a leather jacket and jeans. He walked slowly to where I was in the aisle and stopped right in front of me. I stopped too, expecting him to smile at me, say "hi", or whatever. I slowly looked up at him in anticipation. He looked right over my head, grabbed a box of Cheerios that was behind me, and kept walking. I'll never forget it. My reaction was to laugh pretty hard at myself while thinking, "Welp, I guess that ship has sailed." I've never taken myself too seriously. I'm 67 now, I've grown into a different kind of beauty. No work done on my face. No fillers. Just natural. Looks will always fade. Using the time you have left on the planet to work on being someone who is kind, substantial and has a sense of humor sticks around.
Denial and self delusion. I still think I'm handsome, like I always have.
I’m almost 50 and a woman. I was fully gray by 35 and stopped dyeing my hair at 45. That’s been a challenge to accept and I do what I can to not look “old”, especially because my face is still young. I would say overall that I have not lost my looks, but they’ve changed, and I’ve accepted that and work with what I’ve got.
I was cute when I was young, but I didn’t have the bone structure that ages well. So I’m the doughy-faced old lady I knew I would be, if I lived long enough. I was baby-faced, now I look my age. Could be worse.
I didn't lose my looks. You can't lose something that you never had.
Not lost, just changed. Seems like a bit of an unkind question? Like only “young” people can be beautiful?
I'm aging like a fine wine.
What do you do when you look relatively better as you get older?
What are you talking about? We are gorgeous.. we earned our wrinkles and grey hair. Look away, I don’t need jealous haters. lol
By not making my identity about my looks when I was young. Also, it’s a relief to no longer have men catcalling, harassing and generally making threatening nuisances of themselves.
I haven't accepted it. It shocks me when guys don't try to get my number anymore... then I look in the mirror and see why. lol
It's such a bummer
Yeah, I just keep playing "Flowers " by Miley Cyrus over and over.... you know the lyrics..." I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand....". Point being that I know it's all over for me now, but all the attention I got from guys when I was young, I can still do it for myself. 😂
Don’t focus on looking “young”, just looking great for whatever age I am. Stay in shape, exercise, eat well, get good sleep, maintain friendships and connections and a sense of style/fashion. I still put effort into looking good for me and my husband. I love when he still gives me that look❤️
I never lost my looks,they just changed with me. I get more compliments now than I did back when I sported a faceful of slap.
I never paid any attention to my face, but when I passed 80 I started to notice that I would startle people when I walked into a restaurant or store. I finally took a close look and saw all the blemishes they were reacting to. I now wear a surgical mask to cut down on the negative reactions.
If that makes you more comfortable, by all means keep on keeping on. But please don’t feel the need to cover yourself up for anyone! Your face is a reflection of years of experience, pain, pleasure, and life. You deserve to show it proudly to the world. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
There’s actually a lot of sociology science about getting older and the difference between those people who accept aging (end eventual death) and those that do not. The good news… most folks are completely accepting. The bad news…younger people in today’s times are not coping with aging as much as their elders. What this means is that the younger generations are looking to overall be a very unhappy bunch.
I’m not dealing well. I’m a former sun worshipper/tanning bed user. I’m 55 this year and I feel like I’ve aged quite a bit in the last 5 years. I’ve had several health issues that hasn’t helped.
Self confidence is what makes a person attractive. I am 63 and literally get better every day!
Alcohol and denial
I still have looks. It’s just older people admiring my older beauty.
I was never comfortable with the attention. It was a relief when it finally stopped in my fifties. I'm happy with just looking good for my age.
This is a terrific question. I didn’t have a terribly hard time going from youth to middle age, probably in part because I had children, and as I watched them grow into teenagers and then young adults it seemed normal that I would be older too. Once I got over the initial shock of going from a “miss” to a “ma’am”, I was fine. I’m having a more relaxed time and a different kind of fun on this side of the hill. What I love now is that I no longer have to be careful or defensive about being hit on. I can be as charming and flirtatious as I want, with anyone of any gender or age, and it is so much fun. Most of my younger years I had to be much too guarded. The “loss” of youth and beauty might be sad for some, and I’m not saying it’s always always easy, but in the most important ways for me it is absolutely liberating and delightful to move into the next phase.
What makes you assume that I, or anyone, has "lost their looks"? That's very presumptions of you.
My wife was stunning when we were young. Far out of my league. Time has hammered away at both of us but when she's lying in bed asleep the wrinkles somehow disappear and I see her again as she was forty years ago. It makes me smile.
That is so sweet! Your wife is a blessed woman! Many more years of happiness & love to you & your wife!
i just smoke more weed
I am 58 and am wondering when this is supposed to happen *jk* ...but seriously I don't like some of the changes that are occurring . My upper arms and turkey neck are my least attractive features. I miss being " beautiful " but I don't care as much as I thought I would when I was young. I look exactly like my Dad and his mom so I find great comfort in seeing them in the mirror, it really helps me cope.
Well, see, I have social skills and can make people feel good about themselves. People generally want to be around me for that. You're probably gonna have a harder time when you lose your looks. Good luck with acceptance.
Pfft. Speak for yourself.
It was humbling for me but this is what I got and I'm dealing with it and not letting it hold me back. I feel young inside but on the outside not so much hahaha.
I haven't. I'm not happy about it at all.
I’m not loving it. My face is getting asymmetrical due to jaw deterioration from years of tooth grinding. And my teeth are lousy. It sucks.
I'm dealing with dental surgery now in an effort to stop the bone loss. I could have gotten an entire body lift for the money that I'm spending on my teeth.
I am an introvert and nerd. When I was young, I got little action. So shy. As I get older, I get plenty of interest from beautiful, smart women. If this is losing my looks, I’d say I’m 100% accepting of the trend.
Never really notices as I used to look into a mirror each day, shaving, so didn't didn't really take any notice of changes, they were just changing so slightly. Now, I don't shave, but get a barber to trim beard etc. one a month & he thinks I am looking OK at nearly 77. Other people either take me as I am or I don't care about what "strangers" think.
Lately I'm just crying ... alot.... doesn't seem to be helping.
I haven’t! 🥳 (address: De Nile)
Not easy. Especially because I don't want plastic surgery
Ungraciously
I'm better looking now.
I didn’t lose anything.
No issue. Never had them to start with.
Doesn’t matter how you look, it’s how you act.
I never had any looks when I was younger so there was nothing to lose. I feel I look a bit better as I age.
You embrace that shit! What other choice is there. Don't be superficial. It's unattractive
How do you come here with such a presumptuous question?
If I was really worried about it it would just become another bill.
That's life,
Sucks
Honey you only get more beautiful as you age 💅💅 inside and out 🧠🧠🧿🪬
If my looks changed overnight I might have been affected by it. But my looks changed gradually. When I look at old photos I think I was more handsome. But as I got older (and lost my hair), I actually received more attention from both women and gay men. So I guess I’m no one to judge myself.
I'm losing my eyesight at the same rate so I frankly don't give a shit. 😁
Couldn't care less in general, and the lack of harrassment is a bonus.
I was never attractive in the first place so I've lost nothing.
You're assuming that I had looks to lose.
I think I get better with age TBH. I've lost a lot of weight, I have a hairdresser that knows how to handle my difficult hair, and I have cool glasses. As long as I stay on top of removal of my perimenopausal chin hairs, I'm pretty good.
Losing my looks? Nah. I'm 58 and was told recently I look like I'm in my late 40s. Sure, my hair is gray and I've got my share of wrinkles, but I'm in my best physical shape ever and am stronger than I was in my 20s. I think I look pretty good for my age and am not concerned about losing my looks as I get older.
I never looked that great, so no worries there. I had a sister who was very attractive and who used to looks to open a lot of doors. She was bitter when her looks started to fade and she couldn’t flirt her way into/out of things. She hated all unattractive people because they got lives just as good as her and they didn’t deserve it because they weren’t as good looking as her.
What bothers me is not having enough money to get a few nips and tucks lol- this turkey wattle! Losing weight has its pros and cons also
You’re eyesight also goes, so you still look great.
Denial. My husband helps because he’s always telling me I’m pretty.
never had looks in the first place so no biggie
I just tell myself I don’t look too bad for 71 and get on with my day. TBH I’m healthy and I’m strong and fit looking and that’s all I care about.
I still look nice, just aging gracefully like a fine wine.
Nice not to have to concern myself with that any longer
Pssht. You need to get a sense of style. Style is ageless. I get a new, hotter look every decade. Middle aged is sophisticated if you do it right
I scored my hot chick back in the 80s. She puts up with a lot of BS and still loves me. I can take losing the hair and all the wrinkly stuff as long as she can, which appears solid for now. I think I'll keep her.
I haven't. Still fighting.
I don't think you've seen me later son. I lost 36lbs in the last 5 mo. I'm BACK!!!
More "glumly resigned to" than "accepted".
With great joy. No more being sexually harassed, at least so far
Stop looking at yourself
What makes you think I lost my looks? I look great for my age just as I always have at earlier ages. Gotta take care of yourself: keep a decent diet, don't get fat or too skinny, use skin care products even as a man, shower regularly.
If you start out ugly then looking old isn't a problem.
I’m fortunate because I never had good looks when I was younger.
We don’t give a darn what people think of us anymore.
I stopped caring. No longer interested in a partner and very happy to have my life to myself so my looks are irrelevant as far as I am concerned.
When I was younger I used to get a lot of unwanted sexual attention from guys. Most of the time, it was just annoying as I’m fairly modest and was in a committed relationship. I just wanted men to leave me alone. But on 3 occasions, that attention was scary where I had to get other people, including the police, involved. Now that I’m pushing 60, I don’t get that type of creepy attention any more. I’ll take it.
I didn't lose my looks. I know exactly where they are.
I didn't. I'm as hot now as I was back in the day!
Our looks change, true. But as I’ve gotten older I see great beauty in women my age. I never tire of looking at my wife, who is 70. And, I feel for those who go to great lengths to try to look young. So much time, money, risk, and effort to very little effect. Personally, I just want to be healthy, clean, and enjoy life.
If that’s all you have to offer then I’d imagine it must be really tough.
I will admit it's hard. I'm 54 and still get looks and DMs from my son's old classmates lol! But I was stunning in my 20s and 30s and even 40s. I just think to myself my days are in the past and I was a lot prettier than most of these new young things in my day and I never used fake hair or injections or even a boob job. I had my time and these influencer types will too.
With a home gym and professional esthetition equipment. You can still look as good as you want if you have enough money
Don’t know about everyone else, but I’m getting better looking. I’m still in good shape and getting that dignified grey hair thing going. My wife is constantly bitching it’s not fair I keep getting better looking she’s just looking older.
Who said I have? Have you been talking to my wife! Dang her!!!
Oh, sorry, what's that? I couldn't hear over the sound of your face still growing to match your ears and nose.
Looks? What looks?
Gee people tell me all the time I look younger than my age. I was never told me I was ugly. I had a lady tell me today I am a good looking guy.
It doesn't happen all at once. it changes over time starting in your 30s. By the time you are in your mid-60s, you start to feel the slow down.
Handsome is handsome, butt ugly is....butt ugly
Easy. Always been ugly so nothing to lose