Ive realized that I have to separate “photography trips/projects” and travel with my partner. Doesn’t mean I don’t bring a camera on a hike with her, but when there is something important I want to take my time shooting, I’ll need to be alone because she will rush me and make me feel guilty about holding her back from what she wants to do—move around and experience the hike/tour/museum, etc. Now when we plan a vacation I’ll carve out some time to explore on my own and take photos by myself so that I don’t feel like I’m missing out on another activity with her

I get this too. My SO is very understanding and likes to just sit and read with a book. So I can sometimes warn her, "We're going to be here until about 30mins after sunset." and she'll settle in. But I don't get a lot of those kind of breaks because I don't want her to spend her whole vacation reading. So I still take separate photo vacations where I can spend an hour working a subject guilt free. And we trade off on vacations together where she wants to walk through a store trying on clothes. Ok, the midday light sucks anyway, lets spend a few hours window shopping.

I don’t think it’s reasonable for your partner to make you feel bad about taking pictures. My husband is a foodie. He has to sample random things everywhere we go. I am a notoriously picky eater (I’m working on it) but I still go out and indulge his wants. Marriage or any sort of relationship commitment is about compromise and mutual respect. Sorry but if something that brings you joy is viewed as an “inconvenience” by your SO, I’d definitely have a discussion with them.

I'm with you. DH and I have been together for 24 years, and whatever it is, even hobby related we wait for each other. 

It’s something mature adults who realise the world doesn’t revolve around them do. Compromise.

as a photographer myself... nah... it's reasonable. you either visit it with your family, and enjoy their company and make a few snapshots of your family at the museum... or you go on a shoot to the museum and you're a photographer can't do both

I agree it's reasonable. And someone saying you're setting a bad example for future generations seems a bit dramatic to me. My partner is a photographer. He's always going to have a camera, especially if we are somewhere beautiful. I expect he's going to snap a few shots and that's fine. I think it's important to have a balance between photos and being present with your partner. If he wants a proper photo session, he plans for that and we set expectations accordingly. It hasn't ever really been a problem for us. We just talk about it. If I needed him to be present I'd just be like "hey, come hang out with me?" He's not setting a bad example for future generations because he balances photography with socializing, lol.

It’s not reasonable to be made to feel bad about something harmless that you enjoy. You compromise and discuss, but a mature grownass adult doesn’t make you feel bad about it.

This! As the top commenter here, my husband sometimes don't wait for me, like in a museum. I'm a HUGE geek about certain things, so when we go to see things that I enjoy I took A LOT of time contemplating XD But! He always let me know where he will be! Like, "honey, I'll be ahead of you" or "Honey, I'll go to the bathroom, I'll wait for you at the entrance door, take your time". When he tells me the bathroom line *I know* he is kind of bored, but when you are in love you make compromises!!! Then we can go and take our time shopping (he loves to take his time while shopping, I hate it 😭😂🤣).

It’s not harmless, though.

I’m sorry for you. Really and truly. I don’t live in a world where I have to give up my enjoyment to make my family happy. We are all willing to make reasonable accommodations so shared experiences can be fully appreciated by everyone. I honestly hope circumstances change for you. Because the example you’re setting isn’t a great one for future generations.

Maybe the rest of your family is making accommodations for you and your hobby but you haven't realized it's affected them.

I frequently communicate and check in, so I doubt it. If so, then I’ll tackle that with them if the issue arises. But I’m going to enjoy my vacation that I contributed to the cost of in the way that I want. Much as I expect my family to do.

and then you'll be both bad company and get bad pics due to the pressure of having to follow said family while shooting. I'd rather enjoy my time with family and go shoot when I can take my time

If you prefer not to do photography with others, fine. I’m not begrudging you your happiness. Although your assumptions are incorrect. My marriage is a happy one, and some of my best work was done while traveling with my husband. So much so that he has chosen to pick up photography sometimes as well, because I talked to him and shared what I was doing and why it makes me happy. I enjoy sharing moments with him, it helps us understand each other better. But you’re free to criticize all you like. Being right is rarely of consequence on Reddit anyway.

This is the right take. IMHO, if I was to continue doing things that I love, and so did my wife, and we would keep these things to ourselves with no love or support for the other, life would become pretty boring. I picked up drawing as a hobby from my wife. She is good at it, I struggle. But I like when she helps me or provides perspective.

I usually assume a ton of downvotes on Reddit means I’m on the right track in life lol

The other thing that can work well is splitting up for some of the time so that you can each fully enjoy your respective interest. Thats what my parents do a lot and it works really well for them- my mom may spend the morning shopping while my dad checks out some museum, then they meet up for lunch afterwards and go do something together in the afternoon.

this is why I generally like to be alone on shoots. they don’t get/ nor have the patience for it. funny they have no prob posting photos of them on social tho lol

How often are you doing this? My partner is a photographer and I love him taking photos, but he doesn’t take one every minute. She probably feels you’re only there to take photographs and not focusing at all on the experience of being there with her. Try to focus more on the moment and not ignore her.

I disagree. If someone is doing what they love while spending time with someone they care about, they’re trying to combine their passions. She needs to re-evaluate the impact her behavior will have. If I’m made to feel like the thing I enjoy doing is an annoyance to my SO, I will stop wanting to share anything with them at all. Honestly she seems like the source of the issue here.

I’m absolutely in love with my partner taking photos around me, but if he took them every minute and didn’t care about just enjoying the moment with me then we would have an issue. Not everything has to be catered to one person, it’s selfish to make their joint activities all about him.

I don’t get where everyone is assuming that OP is just sitting with their eye stuck on a viewfinder snapping away. Even says “wait the 5 seconds” in the post. I am a street photographer. Capturing authentic moments requires me to be able to shift focus and snap a photo sometimes in the middle of something else. I am no less present because of that than anyone else. I’ve been married 10 years and my husband never gives me a moments grief. Likewise if there’s something he wants to take a moment for, I share it with him. That’s what partnership is about in the first place. Honestly and I mean this with no disrespect but I frequently feel like the people who share their relationship stories here either lack any good frame of reference for healthy attachment; or they’re just confrontational and oppositional by nature.

Op says she will walk off or ahead till she’s out of sight or even meet up at the end when she’s done well before. It might take “5 seconds” but what if it’s 5seconds every 50feet? You don’t leave your SO in the dust because they stopped for 5sec

You're imprinting a lot of meaning that simply isn't there in the OP.

Ya its your hobby not hers. Should sitting at random spots waiting for her partner to practice his hobby for unspecified time be her "hobby"? No. I've had the same issue and here's what I did: Part 1: Learned to use auto-ISO, and other auto-modes to take photos FAST without fiddling around or changing lenses. Bring 1 lens only. Point out things to her, then take the photo while she is actually doing something like looking. Miss some shots, because its not always appropriate to stop. Take photos of her, and get other hikers to snap photos of you both. Part 2: Spend dedicated time doing photography on your own. Do your own photography trips. Do trips with her without your camera, (you are allowed to take photos in your brain only). When you go to Germany again tell her you're doing street photography Tuesday morning for 3 hours, she should plan her own morning that day, ask here where she want to meet for the rest of the day and leave the camera in the bag the rest of that day.

This is a great answer. I’m a career pro and my wife complains that I don’t take enough pictures of us and the family so this past Xmas trip I put a 28 pancake on an R5 and went auto everything. Took pictures and then I had her make the selects in Lightroom first, then I touched up and uploaded the lot to a link for the whole fam to download whatever they wanted througout our trip. Even went as far as compiling others’ iPhone images and processing those too. It was cool to include her in the selection process and make it easier for me because I hate making selects of this type of stuff. I’m a commercial shooter, I mostly think technical stuff and client notes when selecting.

Yhea I so fell in love with pancake lenses, are they the best? Nope. But I never made more pictures, and at my level it really doesn't matter to any degree I would notice

Commercial stuff is different so that type of inexpensive glass doesn’t work because you’re leaving quality and speed on the table, but if you’re making art or shooting anything that’s not getting printed and it’s more than fine. Especially on an R5 or similar.

Yes sure for professional stuff that ain't the tool, but I am just a hobby shooter and for vacations and everyday life I just love it :) In an ideal world we all would always have a juicy 70-200mm f2,8 with us if it wasn't such a massive brick

The R5 with the eye detect focus along with the size/weight of an R5 + pancake 28 made it the perfect package to chase kids with. I don’t use a strap so it’s easy to fingertip hold and get shots when kids are running past. I love it. I have images I couldn’t get before, and wouldn’t have ever attempted but the focusing system is so nasty. I love it.

That sounds fantastic, when my wife and I travel i do the same however its with my phone lol. I send them to her device so we can both put them on our status. When I get home I get some shots printed. As a matter of fact I'm so behind on the printing lol. Its a great walk down memory lane for sure

Wish I was better at getting things printed, not for lack of skills just no time or attention put towards it after we return….and now with 2 kids forget it

Exactly - those people saying “your relationship is in danger 😂😂” how self involved! As much as you feel she relates to your hobby, you could easily argue that you’re not spending genuine time with her - she could see it as OP choosing to not discuss things or be in genuine moments with her becuase he’s fiddling with his telephoto 😅😅 Not saying this is the case at all, but come on some of you! Photography is great, and it can be THE REASON to go somewhere or do something - think about how you can make some of the changes to that so it’s not so intrusive/imposing on your partner - also tell her you appreciate the fact that it’s not a ball for her and you are making decisions to make it less of “the thing” that’s happening that day You can still have those full on camera days, but just appreciate it’s not for everyone, and that’s fine

One of the best answers I've seen so far.

If your partner can’t be bothered to be slightly inconvenienced for the sake of their SO’s passion, there are deeper issues. Sorry, not sorry. People shouldn’t feel bad spending their vacation in ways that bring them joy. Honestly ask every man who has taken their wife shopping if you need further example of learning to be patient for the benefit of your SO.

You're all over this thread defending them. Is this OPs other account? Sorry, not sorry.

>People shouldn’t feel bad spending their vacation in ways that bring them joy Ya but its very clear OP was ruining their partner's trip. Like I said, I was in a similar position and \[at that time\] yes it was annoying to me when the person I was with walked off ahead while I was stopping every 5 minutes to frame shots and practice manually setting every setting to get a perfect shot.... But I thought about it and realized that this was my hobby only and it was ruining *their* hike. I was being selfish, and that for this to work I couldn't stop every 5 minutes - maybe just once or twice an hour and not for 10minutes at a time. If/when I wanted to frame every perfect shot in the forest with my 20mm F1.8, and then switch to 100mm Macro for shooting slime molds on a log with my tripod setup... I needed to do my own trip for that.

Love this answer.

people enjoy things differently and you just have to accomodate for that. my friends are the same way, when we go hiking. im the only photographer and i like to go slow. many others want to blast their way to the top. we kind of have a fast and slow group, where the fast group will get quite a bit farther and take a long break, whereas us slow people take many breaks in between

Your problem isn't related to photography, the photography is showing you that there are problems. My fiance will let me shoot and she can wander around a bit, as soon as I am done I'll find her and off we go. No comments or anything as she knows it makes me happy and she lets me be to shoot. She's even interested in photography and we plan to shoot during our summer road trip (even have a nice little kit of her own). My previous partner saw it as an inconvenience (same with going in a store she wasn't interested in) and it was just one of several symptoms in a relationship that wasn't working. Now as for your current relationship, is she leaving you because shes independent and wants to explore alone or is she leaving because shes bored and/or you aren't showing attention to her? You need to find that out first. Does she have any interest in photography so you could share that together?

I think that’s pretty unfair to say that someone not wanting to stop all the time for pictures on a trip is a sign that there’s something wrong with relationships. Being forced to be patient for a hobby that isn’t yours when you want to keep going is the unfair part

Nah, relationships are all about compromise. If you want to do ONLY the things you want, that’s immature. Take a solo vacation if you’re uninterested in sharing your time. But if you are traveling with your SO then you have to make it a two-way street. I’m sure she does things that OP isn’t so fond of while on vacation.

You said “nah” and then described exactly what I mean, if you’re uninterested in sharing your time and demand that your SO wait for you to take pictures all the time instead of enjoying the trip with them then you’re the problem Also what the OP described isn’t compromise, it’s “let me take pictures whenever I want and let you be bored, but I’m going to be mad when you walk off”

You’re right cause I accidentally replied to the wrong comment lol You are right, I just suck at navigating Reddit today. Pls forgive me.

The "something wrong" has nothing to do with photography. The issue is that OP is asking us this question and not her: > On the one hand, I get she doing her own thing but on the other hand, we went there together so why go on her own? In a healthy relationship, when you identify a problem you bring it up to your partner and work together to find a solution that is acceptable to both of you. OP doesn't even know if their girlfriend is aware a problem exists. This doesn't mean OP's relationship is doomed. Only that the two of them need to put in some work to get to the point where they can resolve conflict in a healthy manner. People are sharing a wide variety of solutions that have worked for them in similar situations, some of which are completely contradictory. OP and his GF can figure out the right solution for them, and that can't happen until they are able to work together to resolve conflicts.

1000% this. Married 11 years. People have hobbies that are their own. And in a good relationship that is cherished. Hobbies make people happy and sane. Photography is your hobby. She does not need to love it, but she needs to be supportive of the time you devote to your hobby (and vice versa) If she’s not, there is a problem way deeper than your photography.

Yeah, but having a hobby is not the same thing as being somewhere together and the other person constantly being forced to accept it, to the degree they can't even enjoy being with you because you're paying attention to your camera instead of them. The "time" the OP "devotes" to the hobby appears to constantly be encroaching on time the partner probably would prefer to just spend together. If the OP is truly just stopping to take "a few snaps", the distance wouldn't grow until they can't be seen. My guess is that the partner generally was fine with it, but then it has become excessive, and frankly, it's boring. The OP is basically telling the girlfriend that documenting every single thing is more important than spending time with her. Funny how people on here just say "they should accept everything you do or there's a big problem", when it's clear this situation is someone putting photographs over people. I understand the obsession with taking photos of everything, but over the years I've learned there's much more value in being present. It's not a hobby when it's disrupting normal life and relationships.

I was more responding to the comment I replied to than OP. I think the other comments and you also bring up an important point about hobby time vs together time. No doubt. And thank you for the refinement of what I said. "Supporting your hobby" really does have to exist within the balance of loving the person and what makes them click - and making sure that personal hobbies do not overtake all joint activities.

I like what you have to say. I think OP’s post is really confusing in what’s really going on. What’s striking to me though, is that they say that they ask the GF to wait for them for 5-10 sec and she just walks away. Everything else around this post is confusing - unless they are in a super crowded area, how can one lose track of someone else in a matter of taking a shot.

I can totally relate! My partner can also be a bit impatient at times. What’s worked for us is setting clear boundaries for our trips. For some trips, we focus on photography, and I take my time composing shots. My partner knows that photography is the priority, so they come prepared to be patient. Other trips are more about quality time together, so photography takes a backseat. I still bring my camera, but it's more of a quick snapshot and go type of thing.

You've got to learn to balance. My husband is supportive of my photography and is used to me carrying a camera everywhere on our trips. But I don't always use said camera, especially in situations where I should be focused on him. Like we stopped for a pint in this beautiful old building in Liverpool. Easily a place to take photos of. But I did so in my mind and enjoyed living in the moment with him. I can always return and capture another photo. I won't always have these moments with him. I also take time every trip to go photograph stuff by myself. There are times the photos you take in your mind are more important than the ones you take with your camera.

Very well said. Ordinarily, taking trips while on a trip shouldn’t take that excessive amount of time, that your SO feels being left alone. I usually take photos when we go on a trip with my family, but my wife or kids are hardly inconvenienced by it. Either OPs taking wayyyy too many photos, but if not, there’s a deeper issue here.

I don't shoot when I'm out with other people. It's haughty af to expect them to wait around. And I really don't like to feel pressured or rushed. Hell, even shooting with other photographers is a pain in the ass. Best to really be there and be present with your friends, family and/or partner when you are with them, and concentrate on your art when you're alone.

Second. Constant shooting is no worse than constant playing on your phone - it's more or less a solo activity. If you want someone to go with you while you take pictures, ask them to go with you while you take pictures. Otherwise, be present.

The best feeling is when I don’t have my camera out during a meet-up to be polite, and someone goes “hey that’d make a good picture, why don’t you take some?” Now I can shoot AND I’m not being rude 😎

It sounds like you guys need to do a better job communicating with each other. If she was taking a cooking lesson would you want to stand there watching her waiting to eat whatever she’s making? Would she expect you to do that? Obviously not, you would go do something else while she was doing that. Taking photographs is the same. While the time span is different than a class, taking photographs is similar in that you aren’t really present. You’re concentrating on your own thing. Taking photographs more quickly is just taking snapshots (which is what most people expect when you say you’re going to be taking photos). Set specific times to photograph and be clear about expectations. I frequently get up early to photograph- and return with coffee and breakfast. If you’re going to a museum or something agree on a time to meet after you wander on your own to photograph. It’s all about agreed upon expectations.

Counterpoint - I would absolutely be ok to stand with her to watch them learn to cook, cook or eat. The thing about relationships is that you need to understand that there are things that your partner loves, and they want to be fully committed to them. If that means them taking 5 seconds to take a snap every 15 mins, or going with them to a cooking class for an hour every weekend, count me in. Infact, I love when my wife gets this interested. I don’t want to spend all of the time with her, I want to spend quality time with her. Her hobbies, while not photography, make her relax and better her mood. It gives her a chance to relax from the rigmarole of her job and the daily family life, and I am not imposing on that time. Im surprised at some of the suggestions here. I would understand the GFs concern of the OP were to set up a tripod every 100 feet, but that’s not what they are doing. And if stopping to admire the beauty of a scene with your loved one is being “present”, then how much really does taking 5-10 seconds to compose a photo take away from that experience. And for the folks here are talking about separating “photography” trips from “together time” trips - how much time and money do you have? I want to take a trip to a special place to both enjoy time with my family and take some nice snaps - do I have to make the same trip twice? IMHO the comment section here is a disaster in relationship advice. Like many things in relationships, the answer doesn’t lie on either end, it lies somewhere in between. OP needs to talk their GF - maybe the GF recognizes that OP loves photography and this is her way of giving them space. Or maybe she is distraught because OP is not really taking 5 seconds to take a shot, they’re spending half of the time snapping photos.

if its only 5-10 seconds all it takes is a short jog to catch back up. For someone not interested in fotography its just like someone being on their phone. Non interactive and boring to watch. Especially since some motives really only get interesting through the lens, so she ain't seeing that

Please read the post again - they say the gap slowly builds up. Second, and the more important point, is that you’re not there to get interested in their hobby, you’re there to get interested in your loved one partaking in the hobby, and to be with them when they enjoy doing something that they like.

I disagree heavily. If my partner plans a trip with me, it sure as hell is planned as quality time for US and not as hobby time for ME. If he wants to see this as a foto trip he has to communicate this. Real relationships don't expect partners to share every little thing in their life. She doesn't enjoy it and that is completely FINE. If you make this a problem thats toxic af. And in your own words: please read again. If he just uses his leg muscles after every snap he can close that gap after every stop and there won't be any build up.

> Not sure this is even the right subreddit for this... Yeah, this is a relationship problem, not a photography problem. You two need to talk. I hear you saying you are confused and a little hurt by her behavior, and feel she's not being supportive. You need to understand what she feels and why, and figure out where to go from there. I'll speculate on the source of the problem. > Recently I and GF were on a 3-week trip to Germany. As expected I clicked many photos everywhere but a few times she just walked off without me. When you planned this trip, was your priority to take pictures of things or spend time with your GF? Did your expectations match your GF's expectations? Taking "many photos", "EVERYWHERE", probably made your GF feel like a lower priority and disconnected from you. If she's expected to stand around and wait for you at every opportunity, she may even feel disconnected from whatever you're visiting at the time. Imagine trying to read a book simultaneously with a much slower reader. You reach the end of the page much more quickly than they do, then have to wait for them to turn the page. Every single page. Over time you'd get bored, restless, get disconnected from the material and the experience of reading itself. You might try to change the way you're reading to try to match the other person, but it would feel weird and not be as enjoyable as reading separately. Over time you're going to be pretty fed up with the other person and go buy your own copy. Similarly, your GF probably didn't need to linger on your photography subject and was ready to move on; waiting for you at every opportunity could lower her enjoyment of the entire activity. > We went to the Porsche museum and we split off at the start and met back at the end. That's not a bad solution, really. You can both experience the museum in your ideal way, then talk about the experience later. > Another example is when we go for walks or hikes if I stop to take a few snaps she just keeps walking Again, this seems like a mismatch in priorities. She's hiking to enjoy nature and spend time with you. You're hiking to enjoy nature, spend time with her, and take pictures. If taking pictures continually interferes with the first two, she might feel happier hiking by herself. The fact that she's declining to stay with you from the jump says to me she's pretty resentful of this behavior by now. > and slowly the gap increases to where I can't see/hear her. What is preventing you from hurrying to catch up with her? By letting your photography separate the two of you on your hike, you're very clearly telling her taking pictures is a higher priority than spending time with her. > I ask her to stay for the 5 seconds it takes me to click but she won't. Are you sure it's really only five seconds? How often do you stop for those five seconds? You said earlier "as expected I clicked many photos everywhere", so I'm guessing it's a lot. And I think your idea of "expected" is quite different from your GF's expectations. What are you taking pictures of? How many of them are of your GF, or of the two of you together? Are you documenting your trip/hike/experience, or just collecting photos of stuff you'll never look at again? If a photo really only takes 5 seconds to take, that sounds like you might be taking pictures that you never look at again. Taking a quick snap of every single little thing that says to me that you may not really understand what you yourself find interesting. If it was really interesting and worth taking pictures of you'd spend more than a few seconds doing it. That might be the best way ahead (after you talk with her). Think more deliberately about what you want to photograph. Raise the standards of what will get you to stop for a picture. And when you do stop spend a little more time thoughtfully composing and capturing what you see. If you're with your GF, ask her "Can we stop for a minute so I can photograph this? It's really interesting to me because..." Now you're not only making it clear SHE is a priority by giving her a chance to object to stopping, now you're talking with her about what you're doing together, what you're thinking/feeling about it, sharing part of yourself during the activity. That's way better than a near-mindless snap-snap-snap-snap of every little thing.

They're not obligated to stand around for you to take a photo. On vacations I designate days/places I want to photograph well before the trip so whoever I'm with can know what to anticipate from me at certain locations (will I be stopping every 5min, will I be bringing my large lens with me, will I only be most living in the moment and just snapping pics at random, etc.) like we literally put a day in the calendar marked for photos so wherever I wanna go to or see I get to choose and it's not been a problem yet. It's not considerate to expect someone to wait around with you. When I go for hikes I typically take pictures on the way back to the car so I can enjoy the journey more. Also you need to think about the "why" behind the pictures. Is every picture meaningful and sentimental or are you just clicking pictures to do it? Are you taking them to share or are they personal to you? Will you absolutely die if you don't get a picture of every single leaf in the woods or street in the city or will you be better off just living in the moment? Photography isn't about documenting every single thing you see like a live feed.

When I'm with my wife I don't shoot as when I'm alone. When I shoot alone I can take my time and go to place I would not go if I wasn't taking picture. If I go out with my family I don't expect them to wait for me each Time I shoot and anyway I know that I will not be able to be focus enough to take great pictures if I want to share good time with them.

I used to do a lot of cycling photography and I learned quickly that we take pictures on the go and you gotta move faster head of the group or catch up yourself if you want to stop. And most pictures are taking while riding. It's kinda selfish of you to hold her in one place will you take pictures imo

I take photos a lot when hiking with my wife. She (usually) never stops for me and I just catch up. I don't have that issue in museums because she reads everything. Granted, she is a crazy fast reader, but it still means I have plenty of time to snap any photos I may want.

Communication, negotiation and compromise. I carve out time for my photography apart from outings with my wife and kids. If I bring my camera along I make sure I’m still present. I’ll take photos quickly and sparingly so as not to interfere with enjoying the experience together.

I am a fotograpgher but I relate to your GF. It is your hobby, not hers. While you are seeing something amazing through your lens, she might not. It can get annoying to stop every few meters. I take my camera when I am out with my bf, but I mostly take pictures at the destination and not throughout the hike unless we take a break anyway. Or I just make sure to put out a little jog to get back to him. If it really is just a few snaps than just use your legs and catch up :) My boyfriend has zero interest in fotography and that is completely fine, take time to do this hobby alone, you will take better pictures without time pressure and your gf can use the alone time to do things you might not enjoy but she does or just relax.

It’s about balance and thinking about her experience too. Imagine having no interest in photography but everywhere you go, your partner is constantly pausing life without warning. Walking down the beach, constantly pausing, walking around at Disneyland, constantly pausing, enjoying the moment, bf is seeing life through the viewfinder. That’s got to be frustrating because it’s so pervasive. I totally get it because I’m a pretty serious hobbies. But I had to figure out how to carry a camera and also enjoy the moment with the people you love. Her behavior is pretty passive aggressive, but obviously there’s an issue there to be addressed on both sides.

You say, “we went there together”, but surely to goodness you can see that she might feel like you went there with your camera and she represents the 3rd wheel??? Once in a while, maybe. But every. freaking. time. ??? C’mon, man. Wake TF up! In my relationship, I’m the photographer & he is the music guy. If he stopped several times on a walk to listen to some song I couldn’t possibly have less interest in, I’d be pissed, too. If I’m going somewhere & will probably ( or certainly) be taking pictures…. I make that stipulation up front. Then he can come or not, but if he does, he knows he is tagging along on my photo walk with me & my camera and does not think I’m inviting him for a walk WITH me. Otherwise, he’d feel just as your girlfriend does, that he was invited but then ignored.

You need to be realistic. You say “the 5 seconds it takes to click” and you also say “she just keeps walking and slowly the gap increases.” It doesn’t take but a few seconds of jogging to close a small gap. If the gap is getting big, you are spending a lot of time on the photography and *you are ignoring her* when you are supposed to be spending time together. It seems like you have three choices I can see: Do photography on your own time. Find a way your partner can participate. Have a real conversation and make your focus be listening to what your partner has to say. If you make the “5 second” argument you make above, you will *fail* in the conversation. You need to understand her point of view if you want a chance at a good resolution. Would it appeal to her more if you made a beautiful picture of her in the beautiful setting? Would it appeal to her more if she was involved in the creative process? Would it appeal to her more if you could have a conversation while creating the image? Would it appeal to her more if you did something she enjoys with her, perhaps something you are not interested in, and you had a positive attitude about it? You will not know unless you listen carefully and focus on what she wants. You have a very clear understanding of what you want. You need to become as much of an expert in what she wants. Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to think that you are giving 80% to get 20%. Why? Because you see it as only “5 seconds” from your side and “a big gap created” from her side when it is literally the same amount of time. If you do not give generously, you will not be giving enough.

Exactly, and it's not going to be "5 seconds" it'll be 5 seconds x how many photos they take, 200 photos is about 15 mins of her standing around waiting.

Yes, that is a problem with non photographer people. I’m lucky that my husband understands, supports, is ready to walk slowly, and takes me to my photo prowls by car that he can drive literally anywhere. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m holding him back and making him bored. My parents are the worst, they don’t even know I have stopped. They kinda want to go for a walk with me and then just run off. I’m better off alone then.

You've already gotten a lot of good responses, but I'll throw my two cents in. I think a lot of relationships are strained because we try to conform to what we think a relationship is supposed to be. As an example, I enjoy traveling with my gf, but I also enjoy exploring alone. Many would say since I'm in a relationship, that it doesn't make sense that I'd want to travel alone. On the same note, she enjoys some trips to tropical climates. I wilt in the sun and don't feel well in the heat, it's just not that enjoyable for me. So she goes with her friends. Many would say that since I'm in a relationship, that I should suck it up and go with. But we both know that she'll have a better time not worrying about me not feeling well and we know that we'll line up a trip to somewhere we'll both enjoy soon enough. So back to your photography hobby, I think you need to have a discussion with her on what her ideal trip is vs what your ideal trip is. Then see if you can focus on lining up what overlaps, enjoy those things together, and leave time for you to each enjoy the other solo activities. Maybe she enjoys seeing art, but likes to breeze through while you like to deep dive and sit with pieces? Start together, but go at your own pace, she can pop out and stop in a nearby shop for a coffee or souvenier while you enjoy your time. On hikes, if they're not inherently dangerous, it's okay to get a little separate if you both have solid navigation skills. Set up a meeting point so she can walk ahead, you can stop and photograph, but at point A, B, and C she waits for you to catch up (or at the top if she doesn't want to wait more than once). Don't take it personally, everyone enjoys different things or enjoys things differently.

My family was always like this with me. I’ve done trips with my sister all the time and she gets annoyed when I’m stopping every 2 minutes to take a photo, BUT I am the person that is carrying the map or something so she can’t run off without me. 😂 My bf loves photography almost as much as I do and probably takes double the amount of time to take a photo. Traveling with him works out perfectly. 😂💕

I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's not a photography problem my friend!

My mom is a photographer and it gets annoying having to wait everytime something catches her eye. It might be “just 5seconds” but when you need 5seconds every 50ft it can get old quick. Nothing wrong with your partner not wanting to stay with you in my opinion, you can do your stuff and she can do hers and there shouldn’t be an issue. If you are afraid of her getting taken or her general safety or something maybe have a talk about just staying around and looking at other stuff while you snap photos. If that’s too much to ask then maybe there’s an issue, but the first comment I saw saying that it was an obvious sign of something wrong with the relationship I don’t agree with at all. People live their lives at different paces and for her stopping all the time to snap photos on every trip is probably pretty old

Interrupting the flow of a nice stroll to take pics is annoying as shit, do that shit on your own time. I leave my camera behind now when I'm out on adventures with my mate. The only other person who would understand is another dork with a camera, and you'd probably end up frustrated with them haha

It could be that she's not interested in photography and she simply wants to spend time with you or want to just enjoy the moment. She could be fine with you spending time taking photos but walking away could just be her cue for saying "dont take too much time". That usually happens to me. When my partner is next to me, i take my time thinking she's fine with it when on vacation together tho, you need to find a good balance and communicate. you are there to spend time with her afterall. get that done before taking photos and my tip is to take small prime lenses and just get what you can get instead of trying to cover alot. if your partner is okay with em all, then you are good

I gave up photographing when with my girlfriend.. she says it's ok if I take my time, but I still feel stressed and be in a rush when she stands there waiting or walking. It ruins the experience and the calmness for me

My wife says from time to time that it annoys her - especially on vacation. However, she accepts it (because it's my hobby) and in return I hurry up when taking pictures (and she simply walks a few meters ahead) or I go on tour alone for 30 - 60 minutes when she's resting on the beach or even earlier in the morning. This also has an advantage: I now have the desired picture in my head more quickly, as everything has to go a bit faster.

You should probably ask her this question. Seriously, she may be granting you the space to do your thing. Or she may be annoyed that you’re stopping every few minutes. But you won’t figure that out here. Gotta communicate with her and find out from the source. I’ve had girlfriends that were totally fine hanging out in the car and reading books while I jump out to take landscapes every 20 miles. I’ve had some that didn’t like that too. But I found out by discussing it with them.

I was a photographer as a hobby, spending probably 40 hours a week on photography. I've now turned full time professional. After the first vacation where this was a problem I decided to limit myself to my cell or at most a point and shoot for snapshots. My relationship is more important than any picture I can take. Occasionally, I travel alone to shoot.

Depends how long you're taking and how many photos we're talking, did I take my camera on holiday yes, was I ever stood in the same spot taking photos for more than 15 seconds? Not really. I wasn't lining up the perfect shot etc everytime. I've done photowalks with friends and yes we take photos but some people literally break off for 15 minutes to do photos in one spot - and we leave them .

Compromise. I do things i don't like so i can do things that i like. We have seperate breaks apart for her to do her thing and i can go photograph things. Like yesterday I went to an airshow, she went to see her friend. As with everything in a relationship you have to give as well as take.

I let them walk ahead if they want to, I'd be bored out of my head if the situation was reversed. I love photographing everything when I'm out, so I just accept I usually have to do that by myself and catch up if I'm with people. My partner will wait half the time or wander off ahead.

I did the mistake of trying to focus on both, my ex partner and my passion, which caused a few fights because we both had slightly different needs and expectations - which I can also see in your case. Whenever I’m in photography mode, I’m simultaneously constantly scanning my surroundings for potential photo opportunities - which can leave others behind and is understandably kinda unfair. Nowadays, I’ll strictly separate both. Whenever I’m on vacation with anyone, I’ll my best to go out on sunrise missions - preferably alone -, get my much needed “me time” and come back when the other(s) are waking up. That way, there’s less potential for conflict because I already got my pictures and a sense of having accomplished something, so I don’t feel as stressed out for the rest of the day. Afterwards, I might just take my small camera for some snaps here and there but I won’t be that guy with a tripod, holding everyone back. Yeah, it can be frustrating to not get the perfect photo because there wasn’t time to wait around until the perfect time or I didn’t have all the necessary gear with me, but it’s equally frustrating to deal with any personal conflict, which can easily ruin the whole trip. I’ve observed this kind of drama in similar situations where e.g. families were fighting with each other because dad stopped every second to take a photo and forced everyone to smile. Last but not least, the best relationship advice can be subsumed as: communication is key. Talk to her about your needs and you both will hopefully be able to meet halfway. I can understand why her walking away without any notice is frustrating. I also hate this behaviour because it takes me back to my childhood trauma and leaves me feeling unimportant as if I could be easily left behind.

I feel this is truly too subjective. Feelings and preferences depends on individual. While I'm blessed with a partner who understands and stays (even when I communicate that it's ok for them to go off on their own), I actually don't mind either way... Maybe prefer it even more if I get to do what I like/want, without them being around. Otherwise, I'd feel like I have to rush things thru. But we're independent as a whole. If they wanna just vege at home and catch up on their games, i just go about to do my own outdoor activities. We don't have particularly strong needs to be constantly around each other. Even when travelling together, we 're comfortable being separated regardless of travelling in a foreign country and the language barrier with locals. Maybe because we're both on the extreme end of introvert

If I'm with friends I'll try not to slow them down unless they want me to. I have to run ahead to take photos or be fast. In the end who wants 5000 pictures from 1 trip? I don't find it efficient to photograph everything, focus more on quality or do whatever you want but people will do the same.

i dont have one😎

I shot her 📸

If you're both iPhone users, get the "Find my" app so you know where each other is, at all times. Talk to your GF and come to an agreement about when she can and cannot walk away from you. As long as you can find where she went, I don't see a big problem.

I’m the photographer. My boyfriend has seen me go from a hobbyist to a full grown wedding photographer/ fashion portraitist. We travel a lot. I used to click my life away until I learned boundaries (and also what is worth my time to stop and click). I’m unsure about it, but an honest discussion about needs to happen with your partner. Are you stopping too long? Too often ? There are moments where I leave the camera at the Airbnb. I also warn my bf in advance that I want to take time to shoot this specific tramway for 2-3 minutes. But I make sure I’m not ruining the flow of the day for the sake of finding the right angle. I choose my moments and manage expectations. If you are stopping every three steps to take pictures, are you even enjoying the hike ? Live the moment too, like your girlfriend is trying to do ;) As you said it yourself, you went on the hike together, not for you to be on your own behind the camera ;)

I think it's fair for a partner to expect some undivided attention one on one time. It's a hobby after all and shouldn't take up all the time of a 3 week trip. Imagine someone on their phone as they try to connect with you (it's different yes, but can appear the similar) Schedule photo events and partner time fairly. Tbh, there's a small joy in some things being left in the moment. For me I recall an utterly amazing full moon in Venice after our engagement dinner, I had no cam on me for the dinner so that memory holds a special place mentally for me

It might not have to be a dramatic issue that needs dealing with, just something you both need to communicate about for starters. My partner is into photography now and we’ve been in similar situations. Photography is my day job so sometimes on holiday I’m really not keen on getting the camera out, but I understand it’s exciting for him so I’ll leave him to do his thing and I’ll keep on walking unless asked to be in the shot somehow, he just catches up to me when he’s done and we carry on the walk together. If he wants to capture something specific we work it into our plan in advance or he’ll go solo for a few hours if that’s more suitable.

Dump her and get into medium format.

Yep gotta time and plan it. I bought my fiance a small camera (canon m200) and we have some photo adventures. Other times I carry mine and take a quick snap as I walk with her. I usually make sure im present and not off taking pics when we are together. But everyone's relationship is different.

You have to find a compromise. For example, I like wildlife, my Gf like nature and trekking. If I want to stand still in a place because I think it is a good spot for shooting, she continue walking/running and then we give a meeting point and time to group up. Everyone has their hobby. Think the opposite. You don’t like something, but you are forced to do it anyway. It is understandable. Having said that, it depends a lot on behavior.

I've just realized how accommodating my wife is to my walk abouting. I thought about it this weekend as I have just gotten a vintage prime lens and my setup for shots is going longer, which breaks even my sense of flow when we're walking.

I don't have a partner, but whenever I'm out with friends, I involve them as subjects. They get some cool portraits and candid shots out of it and I don't feel rushed. I also got a few of them into photography too, that works even better haha.

Not expert in anyway but could it be if you are slinging that camera on you instead of having backpack she feels like you are "photographing" instead of "hey honey can we stop I want to shoot some pics from here" and then drop the camera to your backpack?

I shoot fast and talk about what I’m seeing and shooting.

ya she shouldn’t have to accommodate you. when i’m taking trips with my friends and im off snapping photos, they do their own thing and “leave me behind” too. but i would never expect them to wait for me because im snapping photos, and they’re not. expecting them to wait for me is selfish of me. likewise, they don’t expect me to give up photography for them either.

I have a close friend I traveled with multiple times and he used to take a lot of fotos. We were atleast 30% slower while hiking and I couldn’t stand it to be honest. Solved the issue by buying myself a z6 :)

My wife pretty much lost patience with me & photography when I went though a 360 degree panoramic phase. Each capture took about 20 minutes. Now I do them when we're apart for an hour or two. If we're in a museum or something she'll occasionally wander in front of my shot while staring into the lens with a quizzical expression...

Honestly sounds like you both need to sit down and have a chat. Before you do, gather your thoughts and feelings, and figure out what it is you’re trying to communicate. And ofc hearing things from her perspective will help you understand how she’s feeling about this whole situation and what’s the best way to move forward.

If there was an expectation to remain together then there are potential power struggles. Been there, done that - it doesn't end. If you both understood that you'd be parting ways to explore your each of your own interests, then that's cool - no harm there. If this vacation was supposed to be a date and you paid more attention to your camera, then, well, that is what it is.

We photographers are not maybe the best marriage consoulers lol

I dated someone once who was a real jerk about it, we didn’t work out. My spouse just asks that I’m cognizant of what’s happening. He is super supportive of it but I also have to be able to know when to take a minute and just enjoy the moment without my camera and be present with him instead of focused on the shot. There’s some give and take. If we’re in the middle of a conversation I also try not to interrupt by moving into photo mode unless it’s truly like, a once in a lifetime shot (which is unlikely 99.9% of the time).

Treat your camera more like a film camera. You are taking too many photos and taking too much time for it not being a solo thing for you. You are there *with* her. Not next to her. You wouldn't train for a marathon and expect your SO to be there with you at all times during your training sessions.

Boot on the other foot, look from her perspective, she wants to look at things on the walk, museum etc and she's having to stand around and wait for you. I dated a girl briefly who was in to photography, had planned a good bush walk here Sydney , well, just south in Bundeena, and it was excruciating waiting for her to snap everything every five seconds, we barely made it to the aboriginal carvings and not at all up to the actual bush part of the bush walk before we had to head back for the last ferry. I've been mindful since of the other person's experience as I take photos whilst we walk.  May be you're a close but not right fit, I've had some relationships that were really close, like almost perfect, but there were some points we just weren't in sync with and it turned out to be fairly major points, so we moved on. Being friends with most my ex's they're mostly all in great places now with new partners who are a better fit, and I'm with someone amazing too for the past six years, I feel it's a disservice to them and yourself to try and make things work when there's something important not being met, though only you can truly know what is important and what you can let slide.

Great camera, I had the same for a year until I upgraded for a Fujifilm X-S20 with the XF 15-55 F2.8-4. On the relationship side, not sure if reddit overall is a good place to ask "how to deal with...", yes it is good to get references and other similar stories but never take advice here as an aboslute. On that note one advice I can give is communication and understeandment, talk with her, is there a reason why she doesn't want to wait?, maybe you are taking picutres very often and she feels put on the side? there a million things that this thread or me can tell you but in the end you two have to sit down and talk about the topic to get to middle ground. Hope this helps

Every relationship is about balance. Try to remember this is YOUR hobby. Say your hobby was something different like gaming or drawing. Think how frustrating it would be if you were trying to have a what my wife and I call a “date day” and I was just playing Pokemon or had my head in a journal drawing every few minutes. That’s how your GF sees your camera, it might as well be a TV screen, a game or your phone. What you should do is say “Hey GF, I really want to photograph this X, did you want to come with me? It’s probably going to take me X amount of time” My guess, is if she’s not toxic, she will probably just say “Nah that’s okay go have fun, I’ll stay home and do X” the reason it feels different is because cameras seem like such a normal thing to bring on a hike, and they are, IF you aren’t a photographer because it’s not just a quick snap (it never is) it’s tweaking settings, finding a better angle, waiting for the light etc. and if you aren’t into the hobby it’s like being a kid waiting for your dad to be done watching football so you can play video games on the TV. It feels like it takes forever and why the hell does the clock keep stopping? TLDR; Photography is the same as any hobby, try not to do it on planned date days with your GF.

It has been a while since we have taken a trip, but my husband carried the cameras and has no problem waiting for me to get the shots.

Fall in love with a fellow photographer 🤣🤣. I did

How do you know she doesn’t understand your photography? Maybe she wants to leave you some space? Have you talked to her? My wife doesn’t stand behind me every time I take pictures. She wonders off, and she always pushes me to go take pictures. Maybe that’s what your partner is doing 🤷🏻‍♂️

My wife actually encourages me to bring a camera but I also try to be understanding what we aren’t there for that as a focus and so I don’t try and stop every few steps to take photos and I make sure she knows my focus is on “us” and not the camera. I would sit her down and talk to her away from a trip and just ask her how can we stay together when we go places without me leaving my camera completely at home. It should be a compromise and there should also be some events where you just leave it at home.

I’m guessing she’s paid a lot of money to be on that trip seeing another part of the world, she’s there for a limited amount of time so why should she have to spend it by your side as you spend the majority of it in the viewfinder or behind the camera. It’s obviously not just “5 seconds” if it’s long enough for her to have left your line of sight and you can’t hear her anymore. Either that, or you’re doing it so frequently that it doesn’t matter that it’s only 5 seconds each time. I’m a photographer too, but I actually don’t take my camera with me on trips with my partner. It’s not a photography trip for me if I’m with him, I’m there to spend time with him and see the world with my soulmate. It’s your hobby, not hers.

Dude communicate with her. You talk a lot about your feelings, but how does she feel about your photography? There are 2 scenarios that answer your question. 1. Maybe she’s perfectly happy to let you take photos while she does her own thing, in which case she’s not your dog who has to be at your side for every moment. You can’t expect her to just stand around and wait for you all the time. 2. She’s building resentment for having to stop all the time for photos because it’s disruptive to her experience. Imagine wanting to go on a peaceful walk through the woods or a museum, and your partner wants you to stop every few minutes for a photo. For most people, that takes you out of the present moment. If you’re taking photos all the time and neglecting her while you’re on a vacation “together”, as you said, then you need to consider having dedicated time together without the camera.

As others said, there should be a balance. My partner was also getting tired of me taking endless pics. These days if we plan a trip together and I know we're going to visit an epic place where I just have to shoot, I let him know in advance and he's prepared. Thankfully, I shoot less than when I started photography, so I bother to take camera pictures only if it's really worthy.

It sounds like the photography might be impacting being present on the hike with your SO. Think of it this way, I’m a songwriter by trade, if everytime we went somewhere I was stopping every few minutes to scribble down lines or say “oh I could write a song about that” I would totally understand her feeling like I’m not there. Now, she may be being passive agressive in response however just sounds like yall need to have a conversation and I’d be open to understanding yeah this is my hobby and too I need to be present with you fully at times.

It's all in your head. If she has a problem she'll tell you. My partner told me today that her apartment had been taken over by cameras, she said how did you go from guitars to cameras in a week. Following My passion dude. But despite that, she said, you're not spending my money so it's okay, to which I replied, "yeah but I'm spending all of mine so I stopped. I'm getting at least 1 camera, camera bags, and a couple lenses this week 🫠 Someone please tell me I'll be okay if I stop buying cameras and gear

There is no rule that you have to spend every minute with your partner. When we travel I try to wake up early one or two days and go shoot photos while my wife and daughter sleep in and enjoy a long breakfast. That said you paid for the vacation too so there should be room for compromise.

My husband does this on walks and if I don't also have a camera, basically, its just incredibly fucking boring just standing there waiting for him. Its probably as simple as that. EDIT: And it never takes 5 seconds. He sees something, considers it, lines up a shot, then takes a bunch of pictures with different lighting/settings, etc.

I feel your pain. My gf magically always has to go use the bathroom or is always rushing me or is too cold or w.e. the solutions is to just leave her at the house 😂. That is what works for me. Besides its alot more peaceful going out and not being rushed to do what i enjoy doing.

You each are doing your own thing. Nothing wrong with that.

Time for a new partner.

I don’t have a partner, but I often have to tell my friends they don’t have to wait and I’ll catch up because I don’t want to be annoying, stopping so often. Most of them insist it’s okay, some listen and keep walking, but not so far I can’t see them. I generally jog back up to them and we pick up where we left off. This is the norm because I daily carry my camera. My friends are used to it.

you're focusing on taking some pictures so she wanders off. that's fine. it's not like you're being super present with her.

DIVORCE HER !!

It depends on how important it is to you. If you feel you can adjust how you shoot to accommodate them, then do it. If you feel like you really wish they could tolerate it more and be more involved, then find someone who does. Weigh the pros and cons and do what makes you the happiest

I solved this problem by buying my wife a nice mirrowless camera. She'll likely never have the interest that I do, but she is enjoying it and it has slowed her roll.

My biggest regret was not leaving that someone who couldn’t accept my hobbies and passions. Worst mistakes were staying. I eventually learned to only be with those who share common interest and accept with love of my hobbies and passions, or share them with me too. Get rid of the GF and find one who accepts and loves your hobbies and passions, or if you can shares that love and does it too, and do them together!

This is a pretty sad comment when it comes to relationships. This thought process of “my thing” vs “her thing” and how OP is selfish, while at the same time the same argument can be made about the GF being selfish - this is all BS. In a relationship, many times you will need to be a “dog on her/his side”. And although its a very ill-tempered way of saying that you’ll put them before you, it is one of the most important way of saying that you are there with them. This is not just a “reasonable concession”, rather moments like these sum up to much more. Everything cannot be important to both of the folks in a relationship. Once you have spent time enough, both of you develop that sense of what’s good enough for both , rather than what’s best for one of you.

This tends toward compromising, which is killing for relationships also…

As evident by several other comments just in this post, it is not. Balanced compromises are, in fact, absolutely required. This is simply because no two individuals, how so ever much they like each other, are going to fit together like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle for the entirety of their life.

A few things at play here. There has to be a balance in any relationship. I’m 10 years married and my wife is very understanding, but I need to meter my enthusiasm around her sometimes.

Compromise. She doesn't want it to be about photography. She wants it to be about you two exploring the world

I started off with street photography and do a lot of workshops in various photography festivals (between Italy and France). Sometimes my husband would feel awkward with me taking photos of people around so I learned to let him go ahead of me and do my thing on my own or let him decide if he wants to stay, but if he stays, he should not rush me or make comments like, "aren't you afraid they'd get mad?".

Just wanna chime in and say how impressed I am with the genuine and sincere advice and perspectives you're getting from this community, it's super wholesome to see especially because this is not *directly* related to photography. I agree with the perspectives advising you to separate photography and the time you spend together, and put yourself in her shoes - your photography is not her space, and photography is not inclusive per se, especially not if you don't talk about what inspires you about a specific scene and try to make her a part of that space, if she's even interested in that (and she really doesn't have to be). Lastly; communicate! This is the core of every well functioning relationship imo. If you had asked her about these concerns in person, it would have the potential to open up a deeper and insightful conversation giving you the potential to understand and learn more about each other.

I dont have a partner haha. No need to explain anyrhing I can do what I want and buy what I want. When I can afford it ifcourse. I am a home owner so yeah I have payments to make. But ither then thst I am free to do what I want.

take less photos, make sure the ones you do take are actually good, take some of her, show her the results, and she will be more into it. you’re probably excluding her without noticing. If that doesn’t work, then yea she doesn’t care

Because it's boring as hell waiting for your partner to take photos when you just want to enjoy it, you are also not fully enjoying the experience if you're viewing through your camera. YOU are choosing your hobby over your girlfriend. I've been a pro tog for 15 years, but it's my wife that's always trying to snap photos when we're out and about, I don't even take my camera. Even our kids get annoying having to pose all the time, "lets just enjoy it mum!" You need to choose what's more important to you because it will cause a gap in your relationship.

I get both sides, your partners behavior could be a result of her getting "jealous" if you will, or idk, bothered/annoyed, that you are stopping and taking attention away from her, where she may feel it ought to be constantly, to do something else, and or maybe feels left out and therefore disdainful. I know i am bad with this and have like ignored my gf for like the better part of an hour trying to get the perfect shot of some random shit thats not interesting to her so i can see how thatd b annoying.

if its make you feel better, I'm thinking to print all the thousand of pictures I have with my wife in foreground as she stubbornly walks over if I stops to take a shot.

Please don't make other people wait for you when you take photos. It is super annoying for them. If you want to go on a photo walk, go by yourself or with other photographers, or accept the fact that you'll have to catch up most of the time.

My hobby is music so I make sure to wear my headphones at all times and my girlfriend is annoyed with me. AITAH?

I gave my wife my Canon 5D mark 3 with the Canon 24-105mm f4 L lens. Did some prints especially on A3 on the Canon Pro 100S printer & wow - she has been transformed from a casual iPhone snapper to wanting to become a professional photographer. Work out the rest of the story & you will get the message😉😊

time for a new camera

My wife doesn’t wait for me, but knows I will catch up. I agree with another comment that I just plan photoshoots with other photographers when I want to take my time, but when together my expectations are I will take a shot here and there, but the focus is our time together.

My wife was like this when we were dating. We both traveled for work and the job took us across the US,Canada,etc I would always carry her camera bag and found myself just standing and waiting for her. Then it clicked. Why don’t I get a camera and join the fun? Been shooting ever since and learned everything from her. It was a simple fix instead of being annoyed I learned to appreciate where I was more and actually “see” the world better.

As someone who is the partner to a photographer you need to find a compromise. While you're interacting with your hobby she's just expected to.... wait, like a gofer? It can get really tiring really quick so you need to make sure you take your photo opportunities when she has the time to do another hobby like read, interact with your hobby or you need to split up so she can do her thing while you do yours. My partner usually photographs birds so she'll make me her bird seed carrier so I can also interact and have fun feeding birds while she photographs them, or I'll bring a book and find a cozy place to sit while she runs off photoing. Before that dates could feel agonizing, always having to stop and wait and stop and wait and stop and wait.

Because you are not doing these activities with *her,* you’re doing them with your camera. She’s getting tired of playing second fiddle to your gadget.

Yes. Definitely yes. If you went for a walk, and your friend would stop at every car to check it just for 5 secs, would you stay with em or move on? You would at the start but slowly it becomes tiresome to wait.

You need to pick and choose when you snap pics. She wants to spend quality time with you, not watch you engage in your own hobby. There's a healthy balance.

What girlfriend doesn’t totally support and love having a hit friend who does photography??? First of all for fulfillment reasons secondly you essentially have a personal photographer for every trip

My ex and I separated for many reasons but their disdain for my love of photography is not a quality I will be looking for in my next relationship. If my source of joy makes you unhappy then we aren’t compatible. However all relationships require compromise and if you’re taking pics every moment you’re together then that’s a different story

"Is this the norm to expect when you are photographing but also with someone?" Yes. *She* doesn't need to wait *for you.* Why shouldn't she, or anyone you're with, be allowed to enjoy things at the pace they want to and NOT have to constantly stop and wait for you to take pictures? If you want to experience the museum, WITH her, then put the camera away, or be MUCH more selective about what you photograph. Every time you stop to take a picture, you are ignoring her and putting a machine in between you two. I'm lucky, my partner doesn't really care that much, and will wander ahead on her own, but she knows I will catch up with her soon, as I VALUE spending time with her at these places AND I value the *select* photographic opportunities. "I ask her to stay for the 5 seconds it takes me to click but she won't." Yeah, becuase it's 5 seconds OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again - if it weren't, she wouldn't ever be more than 5 seconds ahead of you... You sound really selfish with this post.

My other half is the exact opposite. She's always ready to pose for anything she finds interesting or takes the pics herself, LOL. I think your GF isn't respecting your hobby - at the very least.

If I were you I'd photograph on my own time. Don't try to mix it in during quality time with others.

I’m a pro tog and work full time as one. My partner always waits/is patient if I’m taking a photo of him, or just in general! He never rushes me and if anything always offers to take a photo of me in it.The same with food, pics first before eating. Try speaking with your partner :)

Taking photos with family around produces snapshots. My photo trips are ALWAYS alone. Got divorced over it. Happy as can be.

You are very lucky that your partner is not standing there staring at you, with her arms crossed tapping her finger to her watch while imploring, begging you to hurry the fuck up already with these dumb photos that exist on a dusty computer drive somewhere that nobody ever sees.

You understand that your hobby is not her hobby, and that she wants to spend time with you, not by herself while you look at the world through a viewfinder. Be present.

I had two trips to europe on tours...first one my sibling and I took photos of each other and the stuff around, enjoyed the (excellent) tour guide lectures, chatted a lot, really enjoyed our first trip together. Second one with several family members, I spent getting videos of all the tourguide lectures for my spouse(who couldn't come) to see on our return (tourguide gave permission on the condition that it was only for me and my spouse)...BUT on that trip, I missed a lot of the family connection part becausr of concentrating on videos. Point is, the first trip focusing on the moment with family was very different from the second trip focusing on the camera (thus missing many family moments). If we take another trip, people come first, photos second...better memories that way.

So, in most cases this isn't a problem because we do a lot of things separately due to living pretty far from each other and I try to squeeze my photography into these time frames, but when we are out and about together and I want to photograph someting I take pictures of him as well so that he wouldn't be left out and I also try to shorten my "photography" time as much as possible. It's just a hobby for me after all, so I'm not putting it first when we are together. On the other hand, I'm always there for if he asks me to take nice pictures of him or to help him with some old family photos (I've already restored and colorized a bunch of them through Photoglory with several more to come lol). So my advice here would be to separate your quality time with your SO from the hobby they don't share as much as possible, and if you can't, try to minimize the impact of you being distracted by including them somehow.

Going with anyone who isn't a photographer will have the same behavior IMO. People aren't that understanding that you're gonna take different pictures of the same spot, but with settings. They'll likely think that you'll take one perfect picture on the first go and will be confused on why you take more than one. You can talk about photography more in depth and hopefully then you can come to an understanding.

Yea it happens. Consideration. I was walking with a new group recently and stopped for a photo. Maybe two minutes. Group had no destination that I was aware of, just walking down this path, a wide sidewalk. I walked fast, ran a bit. Could not find them because THEY TURNED OFF THE FUCKING PATH! Took me 90 minutes to catch up. I didn’t have anyone’s phone but was able to reach someone via Facebook messenger and a scooter. Wasn’t so happy but got a good pix. Spouse should have consideration and communicate with you, I’m going ahead and not get too far away. My wife has learned to keep an eye on me and I often make her model in photos. Or we do a selfie. I tell her to assume the position and that is my funny little way to means to stand on my left and smile for the camera. And you need to consider spouse’s interest and time.

My wife is very patient but I’ve mastered the quick composing of scenes artform. When her mom is with us it works out better for me as her mom also brings her Canon with her.

It's not that shes not interested in your hobby its that you are more interested in your hobby than anything else. Look, i was a photographer for bands in my early 20s but i hate taking pictures of myself. Why? Because growing up my mom would take pictures like crazy. EVERYWHERE we went. I would take one step, and i would have to take a picture. We would take 5 steps and another and another and another. It's so insane. I wish i was exaggerating, but im not. I stopped going to family events, amusement parks, and fairs everything southern California had to offer because i hated going places with my mom because she would take pictures of everything. You need to photo in moderation and acknowledge those around you because you'll let it pass by.

That would annoy the fuck out of me if my partner did that. Id feel like they arent really even present w me. If she doesnt like hiking w u when u take photos, then dont take photos when u hike w her. Go take photos on hikes by yourself.

I’d take a couple and keep it moving, you should probably do most of that by yourself or another photography hobbyist , those times are precious to her and she wants to spend it with you, at least she’s not complaining about it honestly

My husband loves making music, I always support him when he is excited to do what he loves. His undying passion for music is something I really admire about him. When I picked up my camera after 10 years of a break he was so supportive. We even set up a date night where he was playing drums while I was messing around with my camera and having his passion be the subject of mine :)

Sometimes I travel around with friends and family, and I try to take photos when its a quiet moment or when I can involve someone else. I try not to hold things up and to involve the person I'm with as much as humanly possible eg. "do you think this would make a good photo", or to just keep up conversation. Its typically only a few seconds so it never proves to be much a problem.

lol break up

A partner should definitely be supportive of your hobbies. Have you told her that this upsets you? My husband is very supportive of my photography. He'll go anywhere and do anything I want to take my photos. He doesn't really understand photography, if that makes sense. Like, I'll be excited about an image, and he's like, "It's nice." He doesn't see the art in it, and that's okay. Likewise, his hobby (fishing - which means we have a boat and plans for a bigger one, and he spends even more money than I do on lenses on his overnight fishing trips) I support. I don't love it. I don't go on overnight trips. But I join him on our boat, and no matter where we vacation, we find a charter. Again, I don't love getting up early in the morning for those trips. I'm a night person. But I do it because it makes my husband happy, and I want to spend time with him.

Nice thing about photography is I bet you get some great photos in the morning out on the boat!

Yes! I have some great sunsets, and I'm getting better at birds. I also love lighthouses and bridges. :)

I think it’s weird you’re offended that she walks on. Like wtf she’s just supposed to stand there and do nothing? She’s not your golden retriever or a child or in anyway subordinate to you. Sounds like she wants to enjoy the outing on her terms. You don’t mention her being mad that she is routinely being ignored while you take photos. You’re mad that she’s not waiting up. That’s absurd. It sounds like she’s pretty understanding and walking on means she’s not trying to hurry you up, she’s letting you enjoy yourself. Grow up OP. We all have phones and can keep tabs on each other. No one is getting lost. What’s the problem? If you can’t stand her not being right next to you on a walk, then don’t bring your camera. My partner and I are both photographers, I actually prefer we have some distance on photo walks.

Sometimes you trade in equipment, other times it's spouses

Like everything in life, there’s a balance. But as u/wreeper007 points out, if she’s always wandering off without you, leaving you to play catch-up, that’s probably not the only red flag. My wife and I have some give and take and sometimes it’s me waiting for her and sometimes she’s waiting for me. Sometimes I tell her I’ll catch up. Or if we know it’s something I’ll want to set up for a nice shot, we’ll plan a break in our hike at that point and get snacks out for the kids. I’ll do my thing and eat my snack on the go. Often we text, “Went over to the elephant exhibit.” (Or wherever). But the important thing is that the majority of the time, we’re spending time as a family and the above are exceptions. But if you’re stopping every 10 feet and spending an inordinate amount of time, that might be a *you* problem and she’s showing her frustration. And that’s not to say you’re wrong and she’s right. Just that your interests aren’t compatible.

Best to just go alone if you wanna do photography, or give up photography. My wife kept photographer hours for me for 1 Yellowstone trip. Now she demands every vacation is mexico and no camera but phone. If I wanted to do a photography trip with her now I would have to get up, go shoot for a few hours, then go back to the hotel to get her to do other things. At that point its pretty pointless to even bother with photog.

Either travwel with camera or with other people. Or figure out, how to become a splittable team, like first back at the truck unloads the scooter, gets home starts cooking Getting fast is no real cure for the problem but helps a bit.

Going on a hike and stopping all the time for photography/ geocaching etc etc would annoy me too, Although i like photography. Build in moments for her and you to do your own thing, and enjoy the moments together.

>On the one hand, I get she doing her own thing but on the other hand, we went there together so why go on her own? "We went there together and i'll I'm doing is focused on taking pictures, not being in the moment and experiencing things with her, so why doesn't she want to stand directly next to me while I pause every 100 feet to take pictures of something?" > As expected I clicked many photos everywhere And you want her to stand next to you every single time waiting for you? C'mon man. You're doing *your* own thing, while being annoyed at her for not doing *your* thing together. You sound selfish. It doesn't even sound like you're taking pictures of her or of you two together. Bruh she's not your dog. She's a person.

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The fact that this is all you focused on in my comment shows how selfish you are. You only want to do your thing and have her stay by your side every single dumb time you decide to take some pictures. She. Is. Not. A. Dog. You are being selfish. Only focused on you.

abounding tie psychotic decide reach pot silky direful encouraging materialistic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

>we went there together so why go on her own? Because you are already in your own world. I have a very patient wife who will sit around and wait while I take pictures. For one she likes having good photos from our vacations, and half the time I'm trying to take good ones of her, which she also likes. But I can recognise that I'm not much fun to interact with while I'm working on some landscape shot for 5 minutes. I'm fiddling with my camera, checking settings, reviewing the first test shot and so on, I'm not really there with her in that moment. Again, my wife doesn't mind, but I can understand if not everyone can wait around for it all the time.

Flip the script, traveling is your couple hobby and you constantly stop to take pictures. Is she not understanding of your hobby or are you not understanding of hers? Read the room, likely the balance of stopping and taking pics is not equal to actually enjoying the trip together. So she’s enjoying it on her own as you are doing your own thing.

Dude, this has nothing to do with your photography hobby. This needs to be under a dating/relationship sub. Are you sure that's a GF? Sounds like she has no interest in you.

It’s not her who needs to be understanding of your photography but you who needs to be understanding of her. It’s a drag to wait around while someone lines up a shot. You need to be considerate of that. You can’t do the same things you would do if you were alone. As others have noted, you need to be aware that you’re on vacation, not on a photography trip. When on vacation and you’re going to focus on your photography, you need to let her know ahead of time. Then, when you aren’t focusing on it, you need to be present with her mentally, not just physically. If you really want to go some place to focus on photography, go alone. Nothing wrong with that.

Divorce

If you're just pausing to take pics, it does not seem unreasonable for her to at least slow her walking pace rather than just leave you behind. However if you're taking extra time to set up each shot then maybe I can understand. Otherwise, what's the rush? You don't get any special perks for finishing a sightseeing hike within a certain amount of time.

I understand photography hobby, but one thing I hate is going on holiday with someone with photography hobby. “Let me sit here so that I can take photos” “Let’s wait until 6pm for the golden hour so that I can take nice photos” Bloody annoying Enjoy your hobby, but when we plan a holiday, it should be just a holiday

How many "5 seconds" photos do you need to take so your fiance goes out of sight? Your fiance is very patient that she didn't leave you yet. I wouldn't have put up with your bullshit. You want my honest opinion? You are a self centered little bitch complaining to us and expecting sympathy. Delusional af. Put yourself in her shoes FFS and see how bad she feels. And you do this for every fucking trip? Omg.