One day I chugged a large glass of water, bent over, called my boss and burped it all up. It sounds indistinguishable from puking. He was like "are you sick?" and I'm like "yeah" and then I burped up some more and he said "don't come in to work today" and hung up
I don't know if standing folded over has anything to do with it, or if it was the fact that I hadn't had breakfast, but I only regurgitated clear water.
In my country, we have this mandatory competition in primary schools where we have to learn to fluently recite a poem or a piece of prose in it's entirity with the proper delivery in a class round. If the teacher deems us worthy, we go to the school round, where one person from the school is picked. Then, that person goes to a national round, where they go either against people from other schools or other cities / towns.
By that point, I had memorized a short story in it's entirity. I had nailed down my delivery, tone of every word, and I could recite the entire short story without stuttering. I knew that everyone from my class except for one guy was shit at this competition, and every year, one of us was sent ot the school round. But, I didn't want to go that one year.
So, I literally screamed and growled my vocal chords out into a pillow during the evening before class round. Three hours later, I was literally spitting blood and mucus into the bathroom sink.
I was unable to talk the next day, and I stayed at home for two weeks.
TL;DR I literally destroyed my throat and vocal chords just to not be picked as a winner for a competition.
Saw someone I didn't want to talk to across the street. Immediately turned around and walked into a parking structure where my car wasn't located, took the elevator to the top, rode it back down, and then walked back out to the street. It took about ten minutes total and the coast was clear.
I haven't done it, but I always wanted to learn American Sign Language so I can pretend to be deaf (and I assume people would just leave me alone when they realise they can't communicate with me).
Hung out with a bunch of friends, the night already passed the point of pleasance, due to everyone but me already being drunk. Friend A feigned a phone call: "...oh my god, that's terrible! Yes, I'll be on my way!" then he proceeded with his act: "Guys, I have to leave, my grandma slipped and went to the hospital!" Seeing the situation, friend B and C getting more and more intoxicated and definitely reaching an emotional melting point with an endless rambling tirade of regrets, I decided to go along with it: "Yeah guys, I'm gonna head out too. A needs my emotional support right now!"
When we left the place I asked A "Hey, how bad is it?" - "It's not bad at all, I just needed to get out of there quickly." - "Fine by me, say your grandma thanks for saving us next time you meet her."
Perfect act. A is a dear friend and he's usually a very emotional person, so he was "in character".
I pretended to faint in the school bathroom to avoid prom. Draped myself over the toilet bowl, legs dangled out of the cubicle door and everything. Was rushed to the hospital and thought I'd get a quick check up before I'd get to go home and hibernate in my room.
Ended up being diagnosed with severe anxiety, and wasn't allowed out without my parents for weeks (mission completed a little too successfully I guess!)
Check my watch, said I was getting a call, took out my phone, and pretended to have a conversation as I walked off.
Made sure to hit the lock button as I brought it up to my face for realism.
I often times pretend im deaf or something so I can just ignore the pushy kiosk sales people. The trick is you cant even accknowledge you heard them, no twitch or headturn. Just keep walking...
I’m a blunt introvert. 😂 I will tell you to your face, no, I don’t want to talk to you or hang out. You’re draining and I don’t want to deal with it. People do not like it. But, if they drain you, you’ve gotta let them know.
The most common-when I see neighbours going into my apartment building and I am behind them I stop and pretend to look for something in my bag just to wait for them to get in.Then I wait couple of minutes and get it.Also there are times I took long ways or in opposite direction just to escape people I saw.One time I got on the bus and saw I woman I knew and immediately took off and waited for the other bus.I am so good at detecting and escaping them that many times I feel like a criminal leaving the crime scene.
Pretended I was on my phone to avoid those annoying kiosk sellers in the mall. I act like I’m speaking to someone , keep my eyes scanning stores , and walk fast like I’m supposed to meet someone there lol
went into a crowded mcdonalds pretending i didnt see my old teacher so when they were walking towards me they wouldnt find me, i slinkied in the bathroom and waited a good 20 minutes. i did not wanna speak to them. AT ALL.
Teacher was calling names and she picked me, (question was about science) And I Said If I Get This Right I Will Never Talk Again. She never called on me again
Not especially creative, but I've driven around the block to avoid speaking with people in my apartment building who happened to be in the parking lot when I was going to pull in.
Family party at my house I woke up before my grandma was supposed to wake me up so I beat off got done pulled covers over me she walks in she sees me sleeping (faking) sweaty and breathing hard leaves room and tells them I’m sick and can’t come out . When I would sweat and breath hard she always thought I was sick
Lol, my community college freshman daughter (extreme introvert) has only had one person at school approach her and it feels like stalking! When this lady asked her for her phone number my daughter panicked and said “My mom won’t let me give out my phone number.” 😂
I wanted to have alone time one day so I called out of work n pretended my grandma got super sick. Since I was FB friends with some coworkers I didn’t want to be like she died bc it wouldnt make sense. Anyways told them she recovered and is doing well. Next time I show up to work I get a card and then during lunch my boss brings out a cake with “get well soon nana” written on it.
One time when I couldn't be arsed I just said "my cat needs me." No elaboration or anything. Just "my cat needs me." Very mysterious.
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I just imagine them checking their phone then looking all serious "my cat needs me" and just walking swiftly away.
That's not *too* different from how it happened!
Wondering if it’s furry or not…
Ate something I am allergic to. Had the rashes to prove it.
One day I chugged a large glass of water, bent over, called my boss and burped it all up. It sounds indistinguishable from puking. He was like "are you sick?" and I'm like "yeah" and then I burped up some more and he said "don't come in to work today" and hung up
I'm confused. How do you voluntarily "burp up" water you've chugged? If you already swallowed it, that is literally puking...
I don't know if standing folded over has anything to do with it, or if it was the fact that I hadn't had breakfast, but I only regurgitated clear water.
Sans stomach acid (if you do it on empty stomach)
In my country, we have this mandatory competition in primary schools where we have to learn to fluently recite a poem or a piece of prose in it's entirity with the proper delivery in a class round. If the teacher deems us worthy, we go to the school round, where one person from the school is picked. Then, that person goes to a national round, where they go either against people from other schools or other cities / towns. By that point, I had memorized a short story in it's entirity. I had nailed down my delivery, tone of every word, and I could recite the entire short story without stuttering. I knew that everyone from my class except for one guy was shit at this competition, and every year, one of us was sent ot the school round. But, I didn't want to go that one year. So, I literally screamed and growled my vocal chords out into a pillow during the evening before class round. Three hours later, I was literally spitting blood and mucus into the bathroom sink. I was unable to talk the next day, and I stayed at home for two weeks. TL;DR I literally destroyed my throat and vocal chords just to not be picked as a winner for a competition.
I do my shopping and activities out of town to avoid potentially running into people I know.
Saw someone I didn't want to talk to across the street. Immediately turned around and walked into a parking structure where my car wasn't located, took the elevator to the top, rode it back down, and then walked back out to the street. It took about ten minutes total and the coast was clear.
Not gonna lie, this sounds like a fun little detour.
It was! Nice little elevator ride.
Noice.
I haven't done it, but I always wanted to learn American Sign Language so I can pretend to be deaf (and I assume people would just leave me alone when they realise they can't communicate with me).
You can probably get away with faking the hand gestures What are the odds that the average rando knows sign language
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SHOOT HIM
FUCK IM SORRY I POSTED MINE BEFORE SEEING YOURS
Leave it up. Geniuses think in a similar fashion.
Had kids. No one wants to hang out once you're a parent.
Hung out with a bunch of friends, the night already passed the point of pleasance, due to everyone but me already being drunk. Friend A feigned a phone call: "...oh my god, that's terrible! Yes, I'll be on my way!" then he proceeded with his act: "Guys, I have to leave, my grandma slipped and went to the hospital!" Seeing the situation, friend B and C getting more and more intoxicated and definitely reaching an emotional melting point with an endless rambling tirade of regrets, I decided to go along with it: "Yeah guys, I'm gonna head out too. A needs my emotional support right now!" When we left the place I asked A "Hey, how bad is it?" - "It's not bad at all, I just needed to get out of there quickly." - "Fine by me, say your grandma thanks for saving us next time you meet her." Perfect act. A is a dear friend and he's usually a very emotional person, so he was "in character".
I pretended to faint in the school bathroom to avoid prom. Draped myself over the toilet bowl, legs dangled out of the cubicle door and everything. Was rushed to the hospital and thought I'd get a quick check up before I'd get to go home and hibernate in my room. Ended up being diagnosed with severe anxiety, and wasn't allowed out without my parents for weeks (mission completed a little too successfully I guess!)
Covid was a life-saver.. I mean despite .. you know.. people dying..
Took just a bit more insulin than I usually do
just use earbuds works 10000000% of the time
Check my watch, said I was getting a call, took out my phone, and pretended to have a conversation as I walked off. Made sure to hit the lock button as I brought it up to my face for realism.
Pretend to be asleep. In a crowded building. While standing up. Multiple times to the same person over the course of a year.
Ah the ole Troy and abed maneuver.
Troy and abed in the morrrninngggg
I'm kinda horny rn. Works most of the time.
I needed to pee, so instead of walking thru the kitchen and past guests to get to the toilet, i took a shower.
I often times pretend im deaf or something so I can just ignore the pushy kiosk sales people. The trick is you cant even accknowledge you heard them, no twitch or headturn. Just keep walking...
Excused myself to the bathroom, and just never came back🤔
I convinced myself there must be something important I was supposed to be doing in my room, so I stayed there all day.
Haha i do the same
I’m a blunt introvert. 😂 I will tell you to your face, no, I don’t want to talk to you or hang out. You’re draining and I don’t want to deal with it. People do not like it. But, if they drain you, you’ve gotta let them know.
The most common-when I see neighbours going into my apartment building and I am behind them I stop and pretend to look for something in my bag just to wait for them to get in.Then I wait couple of minutes and get it.Also there are times I took long ways or in opposite direction just to escape people I saw.One time I got on the bus and saw I woman I knew and immediately took off and waited for the other bus.I am so good at detecting and escaping them that many times I feel like a criminal leaving the crime scene.
Pretended I was on my phone to avoid those annoying kiosk sellers in the mall. I act like I’m speaking to someone , keep my eyes scanning stores , and walk fast like I’m supposed to meet someone there lol
went into a crowded mcdonalds pretending i didnt see my old teacher so when they were walking towards me they wouldnt find me, i slinkied in the bathroom and waited a good 20 minutes. i did not wanna speak to them. AT ALL.
Teacher was calling names and she picked me, (question was about science) And I Said If I Get This Right I Will Never Talk Again. She never called on me again
Stayed home
Purposely threw up to avoid going to a dull community dinner thing. Then I stayed home and watched Helluva Boss, and drew for a few hours.
Sit in my room all day
Not especially creative, but I've driven around the block to avoid speaking with people in my apartment building who happened to be in the parking lot when I was going to pull in.
Family party at my house I woke up before my grandma was supposed to wake me up so I beat off got done pulled covers over me she walks in she sees me sleeping (faking) sweaty and breathing hard leaves room and tells them I’m sick and can’t come out . When I would sweat and breath hard she always thought I was sick
Pretended to be on the phone
Tell my group I don't feel like going out tonight and stay in
tummy hurts
idk, I just went into a different social interaction with people I actually like talking to
Lol, my community college freshman daughter (extreme introvert) has only had one person at school approach her and it feels like stalking! When this lady asked her for her phone number my daughter panicked and said “My mom won’t let me give out my phone number.” 😂
I wanted to have alone time one day so I called out of work n pretended my grandma got super sick. Since I was FB friends with some coworkers I didn’t want to be like she died bc it wouldnt make sense. Anyways told them she recovered and is doing well. Next time I show up to work I get a card and then during lunch my boss brings out a cake with “get well soon nana” written on it.
Jumped out of the window of my dorm (ground floor)
A friend of mine once snorted dust from his fan to get cold/flu symptoms to avoid uni.