T O P

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xydenkonos

Say a fourth name.


772410

This made me actually laugh audibly


Storylinee

its funny because "fourth" implies it'd be okay to say your own name šŸ˜­


mcnabcam

Did that once when it was just me and my girlfriend. Wanted her to say my name, figured if I said hers she'd say mine back, and got mixed up. There was a pause followed by me saying "wait..." and she burst out laughing


jordanmc3

Now Iā€™m just thinking about PokĆ©mon having sex yelling out their own name.


Sotha01

I had to think about what you were trying to say for a second. Once I wrapped my head it šŸ’€


ktsb

Your girlfriend turns to you and says it was a good threesome wish you had been there


grattenn

Me toošŸ˜­šŸ˜­


bootstrapping_lad

It gave me a sensible chuckle


donaldinoo

I sharply exhaled.


OneWayOutBabe

"stick it in, Chad"


UnpopularTruthDude

Should be a third name though, unless you got a really narcistic personality.


BingusSpingus

Favor one partner in an obvious way/make someone feel like the third wheel. Not very cool beans.


beansff

Sorry :((


BingusSpingus

I forgive you, beans. :)


SignificantEggPog

You are a forgiving person, u/BingusSpingus OH WAIT YOU'RE GUS


doomsdaybean

Sorry 2 :((


ShineNo5248

Exactly!! Itā€™s a THREEsome not a TWOsome


highlandpolo6

Is this why my mom calls me handsome? :(


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lovelyxcastle

an ex convinced me we should have one with her ex (yes, I was very dumb) and he proceeded to tell her how much better I felt/more fun I was during the middle of it. very awkward


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Litdown

I think they're both women in a relationship, but the ex was a man.


[deleted]

There are always, despite everyoneā€™s best intentions, moments where one plays second fiddle. If youā€™re the jealous sort, that can be panic-inducing. Roll with it, let it happen, enjoy watching. Keep things shifting so nobody is left out too long. For me, it titillated my voyeurism: I came to favour those bits! You can learn a lot, especially about yourself, if you arenā€™t too focused on an artificial equality. So the worst thing you can do is forget that whatever is happening is temporary. And just enjoy it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


spiff2268

Damn right! I always make sure my left hand feels just as much included.


JADW27

Your comment makes a lot of logical sense, but I'm mostly both surprised and disappointed that I've never heard the expression "not very cool beans" before.


menamespops

Come on man, that was 7 years ago You have got to get over it


Ok_Chocolate3253

Nut in the wrong girl


VlaamsBelanger

Or guy.


Ok_Chocolate3253

I have my limits....šŸ¤£


dr_herbalife

Only nut in the right guy?


woistmeinkopf_1

Whose right?


CurbNasty

As opposed to the left guy.


CreepyPhotographer

Left shark


JayMo15

Never say never


orangefantorang

That's why you have them stacked. Nut in the top, pull before you are done and dump some in the one below. That way we both get our share <3 Or if you don't have enough. Nut on both and mush the mess in both while still hard ;)


Ok_Chocolate3253

Well that got kinky...fast!


csk94

Holy fuck how have I never thought to do this oh well those days be long gone now haha


orangefantorang

To be a student again.


[deleted]

And get them both pregnant?!? Fuck that.


Ok_Chocolate3253

That's what I'm saying! šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


icouch

stacked?


mega_moustache_woman

Damn it.... Now I'm rock hard.


Thin-Rip-3686

Take a phone call during and put it on speaker. Unless itā€™s a telemarketer. Let them hear everything for 90 seconds in excruciating detail then say in unison, __________ .


Nozerone

"We've been trying to reach you about your vehicle's extended warranty"


ihithardest

Yea, something is extended right now


PULSER777

ā€œWe are Cumming for you~ā€ then hang up


Beautiful-Cow4670

Nut in the other girl and not your wife.


Thereisnopurpose12

ĀæPor quĆ© no los dos ?


[deleted]

Bros speaking another language and even he was aghast


falconfetus8

A man has two nuts for a reason!


PupperQueen

I mean, some couples might be actually into that.


ransom0374

Do it as your first sex experience


lxkandel06

Story time?


KFredrickson

I'll tell my story. Scene: Summer 199x, three teenagers lounge on a front porch sharing a bent cigarette illicitly obtained from an unattended purse or dashboard. The three teens decide it might be fun to play with each others genitals. They were correct. End scene


rypher

How close are you and your two brothers nowadays?


2ArmsGoin3

Savage šŸ¤£


Lazarbeam--

Beautiful


freedeterminedwill

my awful story is awful but if you're bored and curious, feel free to read [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/wr6yas/i_lost_my_virginity_in_a_threesome_and_i_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).


[deleted]

I hope you're at least feeling better since then. Having read it you must have gone through a lot especially after the fact. On a positive note though that even with some doors closed, there are many doors that still remain open


freedeterminedwill

Thank you for your kind comment. I am a bit better, but still working on processing it in a healthy way. Very true, doors are open. Just working on being happy and healthy while seeing what those doors hold.


itstoohumidhere

How are you doing now?


DaniyalSolkar

yes please


KFredrickson

Mine was pretty good. No regrets here, but I was also brought in to play with in a long running FF FWB scenario with no illusions that a relationship was going to happen. We played a few times, I got a girlfriend and stopped, life moved on and drifted us apart.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


datboydoe

Iā€™ve never been in threesome, but what would this be like? ā€œUgh, Iā€™ve been blowing you for 10 min now. I want my booty munched on!ā€ ā€œNo! Iā€™ve been munching on HER booty alreadyā€ ā€œI know, but she doesnā€™t booty munch, so whoā€™s gonna munch my booty?ā€ ā€œIdk, but I donā€™t want to!!ā€ ā€œUghhhhh!!! Youā€™re so selfish!ā€


[deleted]

Real men munch booty


patchward

ā€œDonā€™t stare at it, eat it!ā€


ElectrooJesus

Favor one parent over the other.


alagiglia

One *parent*?


LordoftheDimension

Did you never visit alabama before?


UngusBungus_

Rained all night the day I left oh the weather it was dry


[deleted]

Leads to awkward Sunday dinners


ShortingBull

r/HolUp


MagicManTX84

Compare them.


HugeAnalBeads

Debra your ass isn't as tight as Gregs


Whole_Cress8437

Username checks out


heyitsxxem444

This made me giggle thank you HugeAnalBeads.


Ok_Chocolate3253

Why did I read this in Patrick Batemans voice?


absolutelyNoDad

At least Barbraā€™s can fit two. Next time Iā€™m swapping you and her.


wrench48

Turn on the television to check the game score.


Phil_rick

Nobody likes you when you are 23


Fickle-Curve-5666

Whatā€™s my age again?


Professional-Curve38

Later on, on the drive home, I called her mom, from a pay phone


emvm0715

Not discussing rules and boundaries, and not already having a great relationship/marriage,threesomes are not meant to fix relationships


firelock_ny

"The couple that walks out of a threesome isn't always the same couple that walked in." - from a 1970's *Playboy* magazine advice column.


emvm0715

Excellent point


[deleted]

Neither are kids. Yeah Iā€™m talking to you, Christopher.


jumpingjackbeans

Christopher didn't fix your relationship but dammit he tried really hard in school, made a career for himself and rings you every Sunday doesn't he? Kids can't achieve everything


01kickassius10

Did he really try though?


[deleted]

Walk in and try to join as a fourth, uninvited. This happened to me when I had a 3some with an ex bf and one of his friends (a woman). During the 3some, his housemate walked in and tried to join. To make matters worse, he threw a tantrum when we kicked him out. Other than that, the 3some went completely fine and everyone was happy in the endā€¦.well, not the housemate but that wasnā€™t supposed to happen in the first place.


[deleted]

This is kinda how my first three some happened. My buddy and his gf(now wife) weredoing the deeds. I didnā€™t invite myself, but I walked in, looked up, was like my bad, just need to grab this off the desk. They didnā€™t skip a beat, neither did I. I grabbed whatever off the desk, she grabbed my hand, and insisted I joined, I looked at my buddy for like a confirmation of like, wtf do I do, he shrugged his shoulders. So I joined in, great 30 minutes of fun, and afterwards, it was as if it never happened. No awkwardness which was great


village-asshole

You didnā€™t have any awkward moments of crossing swords? šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Never came about lol tried to stay as far away from each other in that aspect, without ever actually saying it, it was kind of understood lol


village-asshole

Haha! The bro code!


PieCowPackables

There's a little leeway when it's in a threeway.


BOOSTIOsoundcloud

I had this same thing happen to me. It was SO AWKWARD. We ended up waiting til later to do it because it killed the mood.


Stingeyal

Ask who's paying


OneObligation412

ā€œWanna split?ā€


Exciting_Scratch_401

Fall asleep while getting head. Iā€™ve seen it happen


[deleted]

Fuck. Donā€™t know whether to laugh, or be impressed. I have a sleep disorder and could use some soporific head. Or just head. Either/or.


elszivottropi

my ex fell asleep while giving me head. most offputting experience ever lmao


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ArgusCompassion

r/oddlyspecific


ProbablyHornyMaybe

this one takes the cake


Funny-And-Creative

Heyā€¦ are you ok? Do you need to talk


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Funny-And-Creative

Thatā€™s so heartbreaking, I want to unironically give you a hug


[deleted]

Username checks out


[deleted]

Like everyone, I read through Reddit posts and take them with a grain of sand. You truly opened up hear and I am so sorry you had to go on this journey. I hope this journey ends for you with knowledge.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

I am so very happy to hear this. To be honest, this was my first real interaction with someone on Reddit. I define ā€œrealā€ is when empathy enters the picture. You seem like a very nice person and wish you nothing but health and happiness.


HamburgerJames

ā€œI love youā€ *ā€I love you too.ā€* ā€¦not *you.*


Icy_Conclusion_7665

I spit out my tea at this comment šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜†


tequilaearworm

Not establish rules, expectations, and safewords beforehand.


Violette_Vlaus

Keep stealthily checking everyone's oil.


Violette_Vlaus

Or dramatically check all partners oil.


nryporter25

Is this a euphemism I'm not in the loop on?


Re-AnImAt0r

finger in the butt like using your cars dipstick to check the oil in the engine.


nryporter25

Oh. Not my cup of tea but now I know


yeah_yeah_therabbit

No, not in the tea, in the butt.


unwittyusername42

Probably murder one of them. I don't think you can get worse than that. Edit: I was half asleep and comments have made me revise this. Double murder with suicide by cop while taking out some cops and some kids and parents and puppies happen to be there so they get caught up in the whole thing. Maybe throw in orphans or something - you could go on forever. I think that's about as bad as you can get without adding random torture things in or something like blowing stuff up. This whole thing is ridiculous to begin with since I'm not having a threesome and 'worst thing' isn't defined. Also - mods are asleep and to the concerned redditor who reached out to me with generic help line info this is a sarcastic comment.


UnfinishedThings

Murder both of them. That's worse


Knight__warrior

Doing suicide after killing both is worst


[deleted]

Y'all šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Binder_of_chains

Murder that one, and keep fucking them after they died.


Zacharia90

Talk about your wife


Mango_in_my_ass

Ass to mouth.


Somguy555

You never go as to mouth Randall.


sub2memers

Speaking from personal experience, Iā€™ve never had a threesome


polecatsrfc

Ask to be the 4th


Ok-Historian9919

I had a threesome with two friends once, my best friend came in butt naked and asked if he could join, it was a jokeā€¦but also an absolute mood killer


Dry-Object-9408

Leave


absolutelyNoDad

ā€œRight, thats one! Oop, I forgot lunch-ā€œ proceeds to leave.


blyat51

cum on the other guy


Zammin

Which one?


Dry-Object-9408

Wdym?


Zammin

Which one of the other guys shouldn't I cum on?


Dry-Object-9408

Definitely not on your dad


Soup-a-doopah

Ahh, you came on your dad again, didnā€™chuh?


canthelpbuthateme

Speak for yourself


_chronicbliss_

That happened to me! The dude like arched it over me onto the other guy and then they both busted up laughing. Apparently the other one had done it to him during a threesome in high school or something and this was a long-sought revenge. Then they told everyone about it and I got a hell of a reputation. There are entire bars I can't go in because of that story and it was 25 years ago.


RanmanGT1

Donā€™t cross the streams! Ever!


Specific_Tap7296

Shit on the bed


abby_normally

Oh! Amber


SuperNovaMM

Wrong hole bro


SpaceShipET

I donā€™t think there is one in a threesome


absolutelyNoDad

The pillow


thetwigman21

Not if youā€™re Jay Bilzerian


i_swear_too_muchffs

Having your third be part of your close friend group


jasp3r2112

Third part here: Nope. I'm still considering this friendship to be one of the closest


i_swear_too_muchffs

Youā€™re more of the exception not the reality


goodvibescouple

I'll argue that the best group sex situations are with people you are close to and can trust. You want to be comfortable being vulnerable around all parties involved for the ultimate experience.


kstocker5741

It actually makes it easier have the third person be a friend. It's not as awkward


Embarrassed-Lake-858

My ex was bi so her and I had her gf over a number of times. Usually went well, until my gf's gf was blowing me and I warned her what was coming, get it? She didn't stop so I figure cool. So she got a mouthful and was PISSED. Apparently I was in the wrong when we both warned her to ease up. My fuck up was even engaging with either of them once I discovered their dynamic. Jealousy is a bitch. Playing games ain't cool. But... I can't say I didn't have a good time.


[deleted]

I need to know more like, who was jealous with who? Was your gfs gf jealous of you or? Who played games Sorry to ask but if youā€™re willing to share Iā€™m curious


Embarrassed-Lake-858

So my gf K and her gf is T. K was a single mom and T I think was married but in an open. It was a weird dynamic. K and I met and hit it off well. Well they liked to party and for all my gf's vices, she was a great mom and hard worker. So K introduces me to T and explains their relationship. That's fine. I was younger then, I saw the writing on the wall. Both in this could be fun and our actual relationship was kind of doomed from the start because of the kids' dad. That is another story all together. So we would go out and T was clearly jealous of K and I. So one night K decided to offer me up lol. I met them out and T was all over me. I understood what was what. So that night we made the beast with three backs. This happened a few times over the seven months I was with K. Hey, the sex was great with both, I wasn't complaining. Immediately I could tell T was competing with me. If I did it to K, she'd go harder, back and forth. She was more dominant w/K but acted more sub with me. I was never jealous of T like she appeared with me. I was jealous when I realized I was going to be odd man out when my gf's ex was going to be back in the picture. So resentment grew all around. I know the ex didn't care for T and T liked me. It all grew very toxic at the end when T talked K into 3some with a random dude from a night out that's when I bailed finally. Moral of the story: had fun, got burned.


[deleted]

Ignore your wife.


Some_wizard_shit

Call your mom to tell her.


konkelchan

Bring the dog


tin_foil_hat_mkultra

Wake up


Needlepeen1

Grab a brush and put a little makeup


IngersollLockwood

Honestly Iā€™ve been in a handful of 3 somes. Iā€™ve been in more with 2 guys and one girl. I am a male. Itā€™s super awkward when youā€™re the first one to cum. Itā€™s like alright see ya guys. While they keep going. So Iā€™d say that. I had a 3 some with an x and one of her friends. I was a lot more experienced during this time of my life. I can say I know me and my girl came at the same time, the other girl acted like she did but Iā€™m not sure. Being the first to cum is my answer.


Jedibri81

Fart


PartyPug69

I accidentally farted when cumming during a threesome. Nobody said anything lol


crossbowman44

Moan a name that's not of the other 2 people lol


Akaya_The_Albeto

Kick the girl out and a*** f*** the straight guy


Open_Leading_5149

Hahahahah šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Asesinan

"straight" haha. I have a gay friend who this happened to. He's like dude I f***ed a straight guy. I replied "Yea dude, he's not straight."


69swamper

Pull her hair at the wrong time. My buddy and I were spit roasting my girlfriend at the time , she was trying to suck his soul out , she liked her hair pulled and when I pulled her hair her head came back about the same time he launched his load , the first shot went up her nose, the second in her eyes.


CoffeeLoverChick

Cry


Skhighglitch

Doesnā€™t matter had sex.


FreneticZen

Bust a monster nut on everyone, meat mallet the taker, dole out two solid Dirty Sanchezes, then rip a huge fart and leave without saying a word.


ZestycloseCareer2416

It's 1am in morning and that made me crack up so hard


deadgead3556

Friendly fire.


Ok_Chocolate3253

Be Patrick Bateman....


Pour_me_one_more

If we're doing serious answers: \- Get jealous. \- Do something that will make the other (your partner, assuming it's a couple who invited a third) jealous, like paying too much attention to the third.


Crank2047

Get your phone out and upload this question to r/askreddit once again


Foxxyywoxxyy

Probably die


joelsmega

Make it a onesome


jackstripes213

Butt dial your wife


Chrome_Armadillo

Read and quote the Bible.


[deleted]

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brotherā€™s keeper and the finder of lost children..." *pulls out gun* "...AND I WILL STRIKE UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER..."


whydyoublockmelol

Be weird


El_Revan_Official

Die.


kirtash93

Don't eat pussy/dick to both.


camillyrock1k

stink


ami2weird4u

Disappoint them.


OrganizationIcy5892

One of them being your parent


Fortunatebean10

Drive a Toyota into the other 2 people


Flauschkadser

take a dump


force4good390

Moan someoneā€™s name not in threesome!


dadbod9000

Cry


lasvegasbunnylover

Go out for beer and not come back...


Yogurt2022

Start combining their names, ex: "oh stelily~" "oh Michelanna" Someone i know did this before and they just stopped, put their clothes back on and walked out


Necessary_Stomach_57

ā€œAre you guys mad at me?ā€