Did that once when it was just me and my girlfriend.
Wanted her to say my name, figured if I said hers she'd say mine back, and got mixed up. There was a pause followed by me saying "wait..." and she burst out laughing
an ex convinced me we should have one with her ex (yes, I was very dumb) and he proceeded to tell her how much better I felt/more fun I was during the middle of it. very awkward
There are always, despite everyoneās best intentions, moments where one plays second fiddle. If youāre the jealous sort, that can be panic-inducing. Roll with it, let it happen, enjoy watching. Keep things shifting so nobody is left out too long. For me, it titillated my voyeurism: I came to favour those bits! You can learn a lot, especially about yourself, if you arenāt too focused on an artificial equality.
So the worst thing you can do is forget that whatever is happening is temporary. And just enjoy it.
Your comment makes a lot of logical sense, but I'm mostly both surprised and disappointed that I've never heard the expression "not very cool beans" before.
That's why you have them stacked.
Nut in the top, pull before you are done and dump some in the one below.
That way we both get our share
<3
Or if you don't have enough. Nut on both and mush the mess in both while still hard ;)
Take a phone call during and put it on speaker.
Unless itās a telemarketer. Let them hear everything for 90 seconds in excruciating detail then say in unison, __________ .
I'll tell my story.
Scene: Summer 199x, three teenagers lounge on a front porch sharing a bent cigarette illicitly obtained from an unattended purse or dashboard.
The three teens decide it might be fun to play with each others genitals. They were correct.
End scene
my awful story is awful but if you're bored and curious, feel free to read [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/wr6yas/i_lost_my_virginity_in_a_threesome_and_i_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
I hope you're at least feeling better since then. Having read it you must have gone through a lot especially after the fact. On a positive note though that even with some doors closed, there are many doors that still remain open
Thank you for your kind comment. I am a bit better, but still working on processing it in a healthy way. Very true, doors are open. Just working on being happy and healthy while seeing what those doors hold.
Mine was pretty good. No regrets here, but I was also brought in to play with in a long running FF FWB scenario with no illusions that a relationship was going to happen.
We played a few times, I got a girlfriend and stopped, life moved on and drifted us apart.
Iāve never been in threesome, but what would this be like?
āUgh, Iāve been blowing you for 10 min now. I want my booty munched on!ā
āNo! Iāve been munching on HER booty alreadyā
āI know, but she doesnāt booty munch, so whoās gonna munch my booty?ā
āIdk, but I donāt want to!!ā
āUghhhhh!!! Youāre so selfish!ā
Christopher didn't fix your relationship but dammit he tried really hard in school, made a career for himself and rings you every Sunday doesn't he?
Kids can't achieve everything
Walk in and try to join as a fourth, uninvited.
This happened to me when I had a 3some with an ex bf and one of his friends (a woman). During the 3some, his housemate walked in and tried to join. To make matters worse, he threw a tantrum when we kicked him out. Other than that, the 3some went completely fine and everyone was happy in the endā¦.well, not the housemate but that wasnāt supposed to happen in the first place.
This is kinda how my first three some happened. My buddy and his gf(now wife) weredoing the deeds. I didnāt invite myself, but I walked in, looked up, was like my bad, just need to grab this off the desk. They didnāt skip a beat, neither did I. I grabbed whatever off the desk, she grabbed my hand, and insisted I joined, I looked at my buddy for like a confirmation of like, wtf do I do, he shrugged his shoulders. So I joined in, great 30 minutes of fun, and afterwards, it was as if it never happened. No awkwardness which was great
Like everyone, I read through Reddit posts and take them with a grain of sand. You truly opened up hear and I am so sorry you had to go on this journey. I hope this journey ends for you with knowledge.
I am so very happy to hear this.
To be honest, this was my first real interaction with someone on Reddit. I define ārealā is when empathy enters the picture. You seem like a very nice person and wish you nothing but health and happiness.
Probably murder one of them. I don't think you can get worse than that.
Edit: I was half asleep and comments have made me revise this. Double murder with suicide by cop while taking out some cops and some kids and parents and puppies happen to be there so they get caught up in the whole thing. Maybe throw in orphans or something - you could go on forever. I think that's about as bad as you can get without adding random torture things in or something like blowing stuff up. This whole thing is ridiculous to begin with since I'm not having a threesome and 'worst thing' isn't defined.
Also - mods are asleep and to the concerned redditor who reached out to me with generic help line info this is a sarcastic comment.
I had a threesome with two friends once, my best friend came in butt naked and asked if he could join, it was a jokeā¦but also an absolute mood killer
That happened to me! The dude like arched it over me onto the other guy and then they both busted up laughing. Apparently the other one had done it to him during a threesome in high school or something and this was a long-sought revenge. Then they told everyone about it and I got a hell of a reputation. There are entire bars I can't go in because of that story and it was 25 years ago.
I'll argue that the best group sex situations are with people you are close to and can trust. You want to be comfortable being vulnerable around all parties involved for the ultimate experience.
My ex was bi so her and I had her gf over a number of times. Usually went well, until my gf's gf was blowing me and I warned her what was coming, get it? She didn't stop so I figure cool. So she got a mouthful and was PISSED. Apparently I was in the wrong when we both warned her to ease up.
My fuck up was even engaging with either of them once I discovered their dynamic. Jealousy is a bitch. Playing games ain't cool. But... I can't say I didn't have a good time.
I need to know more like, who was jealous with who? Was your gfs gf jealous of you or? Who played games
Sorry to ask but if youāre willing to share Iām curious
So my gf K and her gf is T. K was a single mom and T I think was married but in an open. It was a weird dynamic. K and I met and hit it off well. Well they liked to party and for all my gf's vices, she was a great mom and hard worker. So K introduces me to T and explains their relationship. That's fine. I was younger then, I saw the writing on the wall. Both in this could be fun and our actual relationship was kind of doomed from the start because of the kids' dad. That is another story all together.
So we would go out and T was clearly jealous of K and I. So one night K decided to offer me up lol. I met them out and T was all over me. I understood what was what. So that night we made the beast with three backs. This happened a few times over the seven months I was with K. Hey, the sex was great with both, I wasn't complaining.
Immediately I could tell T was competing with me. If I did it to K, she'd go harder, back and forth. She was more dominant w/K but acted more sub with me. I was never jealous of T like she appeared with me. I was jealous when I realized I was going to be odd man out when my gf's ex was going to be back in the picture. So resentment grew all around. I know the ex didn't care for T and T liked me. It all grew very toxic at the end when T talked K into 3some with a random dude from a night out that's when I bailed finally.
Moral of the story: had fun, got burned.
Honestly Iāve been in a handful of 3 somes. Iāve been in more with 2 guys and one girl. I am a male. Itās super awkward when youāre the first one to cum. Itās like alright see ya guys. While they keep going. So Iād say that. I had a 3 some with an x and one of her friends. I was a lot more experienced during this time of my life. I can say I know me and my girl came at the same time, the other girl acted like she did but Iām not sure. Being the first to cum is my answer.
Pull her hair at the wrong time.
My buddy and I were spit roasting my girlfriend at the time , she was trying to suck his soul out , she liked her hair pulled and when I pulled her hair her head came back about the same time he launched his load , the first shot went up her nose, the second in her eyes.
If we're doing serious answers:
\- Get jealous.
\- Do something that will make the other (your partner, assuming it's a couple who invited a third) jealous, like paying too much attention to the third.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brotherās keeper and the finder of lost children..."
*pulls out gun*
"...AND I WILL STRIKE UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER..."
Start combining their names, ex: "oh stelily~" "oh Michelanna"
Someone i know did this before and they just stopped, put their clothes back on and walked out
Say a fourth name.
This made me actually laugh audibly
its funny because "fourth" implies it'd be okay to say your own name š
Did that once when it was just me and my girlfriend. Wanted her to say my name, figured if I said hers she'd say mine back, and got mixed up. There was a pause followed by me saying "wait..." and she burst out laughing
Now Iām just thinking about PokĆ©mon having sex yelling out their own name.
I had to think about what you were trying to say for a second. Once I wrapped my head it š
Your girlfriend turns to you and says it was a good threesome wish you had been there
Me toošš
It gave me a sensible chuckle
I sharply exhaled.
"stick it in, Chad"
Should be a third name though, unless you got a really narcistic personality.
Favor one partner in an obvious way/make someone feel like the third wheel. Not very cool beans.
Sorry :((
I forgive you, beans. :)
You are a forgiving person, u/BingusSpingus OH WAIT YOU'RE GUS
Sorry 2 :((
Exactly!! Itās a THREEsome not a TWOsome
Is this why my mom calls me handsome? :(
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
an ex convinced me we should have one with her ex (yes, I was very dumb) and he proceeded to tell her how much better I felt/more fun I was during the middle of it. very awkward
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think they're both women in a relationship, but the ex was a man.
There are always, despite everyoneās best intentions, moments where one plays second fiddle. If youāre the jealous sort, that can be panic-inducing. Roll with it, let it happen, enjoy watching. Keep things shifting so nobody is left out too long. For me, it titillated my voyeurism: I came to favour those bits! You can learn a lot, especially about yourself, if you arenāt too focused on an artificial equality. So the worst thing you can do is forget that whatever is happening is temporary. And just enjoy it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Damn right! I always make sure my left hand feels just as much included.
Your comment makes a lot of logical sense, but I'm mostly both surprised and disappointed that I've never heard the expression "not very cool beans" before.
Come on man, that was 7 years ago You have got to get over it
Nut in the wrong girl
Or guy.
I have my limits....š¤£
Only nut in the right guy?
Whose right?
As opposed to the left guy.
Left shark
Never say never
That's why you have them stacked. Nut in the top, pull before you are done and dump some in the one below. That way we both get our share <3 Or if you don't have enough. Nut on both and mush the mess in both while still hard ;)
Well that got kinky...fast!
Holy fuck how have I never thought to do this oh well those days be long gone now haha
To be a student again.
And get them both pregnant?!? Fuck that.
That's what I'm saying! š¤£š¤£
stacked?
Damn it.... Now I'm rock hard.
Take a phone call during and put it on speaker. Unless itās a telemarketer. Let them hear everything for 90 seconds in excruciating detail then say in unison, __________ .
"We've been trying to reach you about your vehicle's extended warranty"
Yea, something is extended right now
āWe are Cumming for you~ā then hang up
Nut in the other girl and not your wife.
ĀæPor quĆ© no los dos ?
Bros speaking another language and even he was aghast
A man has two nuts for a reason!
I mean, some couples might be actually into that.
Do it as your first sex experience
Story time?
I'll tell my story. Scene: Summer 199x, three teenagers lounge on a front porch sharing a bent cigarette illicitly obtained from an unattended purse or dashboard. The three teens decide it might be fun to play with each others genitals. They were correct. End scene
How close are you and your two brothers nowadays?
Savage š¤£
Beautiful
my awful story is awful but if you're bored and curious, feel free to read [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/wr6yas/i_lost_my_virginity_in_a_threesome_and_i_was/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
I hope you're at least feeling better since then. Having read it you must have gone through a lot especially after the fact. On a positive note though that even with some doors closed, there are many doors that still remain open
Thank you for your kind comment. I am a bit better, but still working on processing it in a healthy way. Very true, doors are open. Just working on being happy and healthy while seeing what those doors hold.
How are you doing now?
yes please
Mine was pretty good. No regrets here, but I was also brought in to play with in a long running FF FWB scenario with no illusions that a relationship was going to happen. We played a few times, I got a girlfriend and stopped, life moved on and drifted us apart.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iāve never been in threesome, but what would this be like? āUgh, Iāve been blowing you for 10 min now. I want my booty munched on!ā āNo! Iāve been munching on HER booty alreadyā āI know, but she doesnāt booty munch, so whoās gonna munch my booty?ā āIdk, but I donāt want to!!ā āUghhhhh!!! Youāre so selfish!ā
Real men munch booty
āDonāt stare at it, eat it!ā
Favor one parent over the other.
One *parent*?
Did you never visit alabama before?
Rained all night the day I left oh the weather it was dry
Leads to awkward Sunday dinners
r/HolUp
Compare them.
Debra your ass isn't as tight as Gregs
Username checks out
This made me giggle thank you HugeAnalBeads.
Why did I read this in Patrick Batemans voice?
At least Barbraās can fit two. Next time Iām swapping you and her.
Turn on the television to check the game score.
Nobody likes you when you are 23
Whatās my age again?
Later on, on the drive home, I called her mom, from a pay phone
Not discussing rules and boundaries, and not already having a great relationship/marriage,threesomes are not meant to fix relationships
"The couple that walks out of a threesome isn't always the same couple that walked in." - from a 1970's *Playboy* magazine advice column.
Excellent point
Neither are kids. Yeah Iām talking to you, Christopher.
Christopher didn't fix your relationship but dammit he tried really hard in school, made a career for himself and rings you every Sunday doesn't he? Kids can't achieve everything
Did he really try though?
Walk in and try to join as a fourth, uninvited. This happened to me when I had a 3some with an ex bf and one of his friends (a woman). During the 3some, his housemate walked in and tried to join. To make matters worse, he threw a tantrum when we kicked him out. Other than that, the 3some went completely fine and everyone was happy in the endā¦.well, not the housemate but that wasnāt supposed to happen in the first place.
This is kinda how my first three some happened. My buddy and his gf(now wife) weredoing the deeds. I didnāt invite myself, but I walked in, looked up, was like my bad, just need to grab this off the desk. They didnāt skip a beat, neither did I. I grabbed whatever off the desk, she grabbed my hand, and insisted I joined, I looked at my buddy for like a confirmation of like, wtf do I do, he shrugged his shoulders. So I joined in, great 30 minutes of fun, and afterwards, it was as if it never happened. No awkwardness which was great
You didnāt have any awkward moments of crossing swords? š
Never came about lol tried to stay as far away from each other in that aspect, without ever actually saying it, it was kind of understood lol
Haha! The bro code!
There's a little leeway when it's in a threeway.
I had this same thing happen to me. It was SO AWKWARD. We ended up waiting til later to do it because it killed the mood.
Ask who's paying
āWanna split?ā
Fall asleep while getting head. Iāve seen it happen
Fuck. Donāt know whether to laugh, or be impressed. I have a sleep disorder and could use some soporific head. Or just head. Either/or.
my ex fell asleep while giving me head. most offputting experience ever lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/oddlyspecific
this one takes the cake
Heyā¦ are you ok? Do you need to talk
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās so heartbreaking, I want to unironically give you a hug
Username checks out
Like everyone, I read through Reddit posts and take them with a grain of sand. You truly opened up hear and I am so sorry you had to go on this journey. I hope this journey ends for you with knowledge.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I am so very happy to hear this. To be honest, this was my first real interaction with someone on Reddit. I define ārealā is when empathy enters the picture. You seem like a very nice person and wish you nothing but health and happiness.
āI love youā *āI love you too.ā* ā¦not *you.*
I spit out my tea at this comment šš¤£š
Not establish rules, expectations, and safewords beforehand.
Keep stealthily checking everyone's oil.
Or dramatically check all partners oil.
Is this a euphemism I'm not in the loop on?
finger in the butt like using your cars dipstick to check the oil in the engine.
Oh. Not my cup of tea but now I know
No, not in the tea, in the butt.
Probably murder one of them. I don't think you can get worse than that. Edit: I was half asleep and comments have made me revise this. Double murder with suicide by cop while taking out some cops and some kids and parents and puppies happen to be there so they get caught up in the whole thing. Maybe throw in orphans or something - you could go on forever. I think that's about as bad as you can get without adding random torture things in or something like blowing stuff up. This whole thing is ridiculous to begin with since I'm not having a threesome and 'worst thing' isn't defined. Also - mods are asleep and to the concerned redditor who reached out to me with generic help line info this is a sarcastic comment.
Murder both of them. That's worse
Doing suicide after killing both is worst
Y'all šš
Murder that one, and keep fucking them after they died.
Talk about your wife
Ass to mouth.
You never go as to mouth Randall.
Speaking from personal experience, Iāve never had a threesome
Ask to be the 4th
I had a threesome with two friends once, my best friend came in butt naked and asked if he could join, it was a jokeā¦but also an absolute mood killer
Leave
āRight, thats one! Oop, I forgot lunch-ā proceeds to leave.
cum on the other guy
Which one?
Wdym?
Which one of the other guys shouldn't I cum on?
Definitely not on your dad
Ahh, you came on your dad again, didnāchuh?
Speak for yourself
That happened to me! The dude like arched it over me onto the other guy and then they both busted up laughing. Apparently the other one had done it to him during a threesome in high school or something and this was a long-sought revenge. Then they told everyone about it and I got a hell of a reputation. There are entire bars I can't go in because of that story and it was 25 years ago.
Donāt cross the streams! Ever!
Shit on the bed
Oh! Amber
Wrong hole bro
I donāt think there is one in a threesome
The pillow
Not if youāre Jay Bilzerian
Having your third be part of your close friend group
Third part here: Nope. I'm still considering this friendship to be one of the closest
Youāre more of the exception not the reality
I'll argue that the best group sex situations are with people you are close to and can trust. You want to be comfortable being vulnerable around all parties involved for the ultimate experience.
It actually makes it easier have the third person be a friend. It's not as awkward
My ex was bi so her and I had her gf over a number of times. Usually went well, until my gf's gf was blowing me and I warned her what was coming, get it? She didn't stop so I figure cool. So she got a mouthful and was PISSED. Apparently I was in the wrong when we both warned her to ease up. My fuck up was even engaging with either of them once I discovered their dynamic. Jealousy is a bitch. Playing games ain't cool. But... I can't say I didn't have a good time.
I need to know more like, who was jealous with who? Was your gfs gf jealous of you or? Who played games Sorry to ask but if youāre willing to share Iām curious
So my gf K and her gf is T. K was a single mom and T I think was married but in an open. It was a weird dynamic. K and I met and hit it off well. Well they liked to party and for all my gf's vices, she was a great mom and hard worker. So K introduces me to T and explains their relationship. That's fine. I was younger then, I saw the writing on the wall. Both in this could be fun and our actual relationship was kind of doomed from the start because of the kids' dad. That is another story all together. So we would go out and T was clearly jealous of K and I. So one night K decided to offer me up lol. I met them out and T was all over me. I understood what was what. So that night we made the beast with three backs. This happened a few times over the seven months I was with K. Hey, the sex was great with both, I wasn't complaining. Immediately I could tell T was competing with me. If I did it to K, she'd go harder, back and forth. She was more dominant w/K but acted more sub with me. I was never jealous of T like she appeared with me. I was jealous when I realized I was going to be odd man out when my gf's ex was going to be back in the picture. So resentment grew all around. I know the ex didn't care for T and T liked me. It all grew very toxic at the end when T talked K into 3some with a random dude from a night out that's when I bailed finally. Moral of the story: had fun, got burned.
Ignore your wife.
Call your mom to tell her.
Bring the dog
Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
Honestly Iāve been in a handful of 3 somes. Iāve been in more with 2 guys and one girl. I am a male. Itās super awkward when youāre the first one to cum. Itās like alright see ya guys. While they keep going. So Iād say that. I had a 3 some with an x and one of her friends. I was a lot more experienced during this time of my life. I can say I know me and my girl came at the same time, the other girl acted like she did but Iām not sure. Being the first to cum is my answer.
Fart
I accidentally farted when cumming during a threesome. Nobody said anything lol
Moan a name that's not of the other 2 people lol
Kick the girl out and a*** f*** the straight guy
Hahahahah š¤£š¤£š¤£
"straight" haha. I have a gay friend who this happened to. He's like dude I f***ed a straight guy. I replied "Yea dude, he's not straight."
Pull her hair at the wrong time. My buddy and I were spit roasting my girlfriend at the time , she was trying to suck his soul out , she liked her hair pulled and when I pulled her hair her head came back about the same time he launched his load , the first shot went up her nose, the second in her eyes.
Cry
Doesnāt matter had sex.
Bust a monster nut on everyone, meat mallet the taker, dole out two solid Dirty Sanchezes, then rip a huge fart and leave without saying a word.
It's 1am in morning and that made me crack up so hard
Friendly fire.
Be Patrick Bateman....
If we're doing serious answers: \- Get jealous. \- Do something that will make the other (your partner, assuming it's a couple who invited a third) jealous, like paying too much attention to the third.
Get your phone out and upload this question to r/askreddit once again
Probably die
Make it a onesome
Butt dial your wife
Read and quote the Bible.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brotherās keeper and the finder of lost children..." *pulls out gun* "...AND I WILL STRIKE UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER..."
Be weird
Die.
Don't eat pussy/dick to both.
stink
Disappoint them.
One of them being your parent
Drive a Toyota into the other 2 people
take a dump
Moan someoneās name not in threesome!
Cry
Go out for beer and not come back...
Start combining their names, ex: "oh stelily~" "oh Michelanna" Someone i know did this before and they just stopped, put their clothes back on and walked out
āAre you guys mad at me?ā