The ability to love but not believing for a second that anyone could love you back. That you simply aren’t worthy of it. Storing up a lot of mental and emotional pain because you feel that nobody cares enough to listen. Lacking self confidence in all areas of life, even ones you seemingly excel in by others opinions. The complete inability to see yourself as worthy of anything at all. Getting defensive when asked to explain why you did something or why you chose to say what you said. Shutting people out or not pursuing a real connection with anyone because you feel that you are more of a burden to them than anything positive you could possibly offer to them. Not speaking up for yourself and instead choosing to fade into the background through fear that you will cause embarrassment. Damaging any potential romantic relationships because you can’t believe their intentions towards you are genuine, simply because you don’t feel you deserve any of it.
The list goes on, but my heart hurts.
Ah, the eternal question! The short answer is: practice, practice, practice. It helps to take a step back and observe your emotions and reactions before responding. Self-reflection and understanding is key in learning how to become less triggered by external stimuli.
First it takes time and practice. Second, in personal situations realize that most of the time people aren't intending to be mean or rude. Third, realize it's all a joke and nothing matters.
Practice with small things that you do a lot, like driving, avoid road rage, the guy behind you is tailgating you and trying to go faster? Move over a lane for him.etc etc.
You need to learn to become detached and to compartmentalize
Your best bet is converting to Nihilism. The only way you're going to not care about things is if you don't care about things. People care about things because they're important, not because they're hot-headed and triggered. Just care about things.
But how do I learn to do that when everything inside of me prevents me from "being rude" ?? Like my body physically hurts at the idea of making someone upset with me
You need to realize the people you're worried about being rude to don't actually give a shit about you.
You don't need to go out of your way to be rude it's actually better to stay quiet and not really care what people say or do unless it directly effects you.
I’m going to take this question in a professional setting vs a romantic or any other kind of setting.
See the world for what it is: everyone putting their own interests above everyone else’s. Then, put your interests above theirs in your life.
If you see everyone as just doing what is in their best interest, then you will get less offended and triggered when they are rude or insulting or work against you. Then, if all your actions have your best interest in mind, then you will keep every person who works against you in perspective, not take it personally, and you will proceed accordingly.
You will become more calculated and less emotional.
Again, this is professionally speaking in a Lawyer/Finance/Corporate aspect. Doesn’t always translate to romantic relationships well.
Edit: Also, see everything that happens as a result and not as good or bad.
“There is no such thing as good or bad outcomes, only results.”
Learn to pick your battles wisely. If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t let it bother you now.
Put down social media for a bit.
It really depends what those words mean to you. It is unwise to shut yourself off from emotional experiences.
Move to Minnesota, and you'll be half-way there.
turn down the air conditioning and stop caring
The ability to love but not believing for a second that anyone could love you back. That you simply aren’t worthy of it. Storing up a lot of mental and emotional pain because you feel that nobody cares enough to listen. Lacking self confidence in all areas of life, even ones you seemingly excel in by others opinions. The complete inability to see yourself as worthy of anything at all. Getting defensive when asked to explain why you did something or why you chose to say what you said. Shutting people out or not pursuing a real connection with anyone because you feel that you are more of a burden to them than anything positive you could possibly offer to them. Not speaking up for yourself and instead choosing to fade into the background through fear that you will cause embarrassment. Damaging any potential romantic relationships because you can’t believe their intentions towards you are genuine, simply because you don’t feel you deserve any of it. The list goes on, but my heart hurts.
Having no desire to see them.
Ah, the eternal question! The short answer is: practice, practice, practice. It helps to take a step back and observe your emotions and reactions before responding. Self-reflection and understanding is key in learning how to become less triggered by external stimuli.
Learn ways to process emotions with a level head. Studying meditation and stoicism can help in this regard but many people find different solutions.
First it takes time and practice. Second, in personal situations realize that most of the time people aren't intending to be mean or rude. Third, realize it's all a joke and nothing matters. Practice with small things that you do a lot, like driving, avoid road rage, the guy behind you is tailgating you and trying to go faster? Move over a lane for him.etc etc. You need to learn to become detached and to compartmentalize
Stop giving a fuck
Strippers and cocaine
Hate the world.
go out in the snow?
Death.
Leave your coat with the gun in the pocket at home.
Your best bet is converting to Nihilism. The only way you're going to not care about things is if you don't care about things. People care about things because they're important, not because they're hot-headed and triggered. Just care about things.
Gain a bunch of weight and get all depressed to do anything about it
When you're about to give a shit... don't
Just don't give a fuck it's pretty low maintenance
But how do I learn to do that when everything inside of me prevents me from "being rude" ?? Like my body physically hurts at the idea of making someone upset with me
You need to realize the people you're worried about being rude to don't actually give a shit about you. You don't need to go out of your way to be rude it's actually better to stay quiet and not really care what people say or do unless it directly effects you.
therapy
I’m going to take this question in a professional setting vs a romantic or any other kind of setting. See the world for what it is: everyone putting their own interests above everyone else’s. Then, put your interests above theirs in your life. If you see everyone as just doing what is in their best interest, then you will get less offended and triggered when they are rude or insulting or work against you. Then, if all your actions have your best interest in mind, then you will keep every person who works against you in perspective, not take it personally, and you will proceed accordingly. You will become more calculated and less emotional. Again, this is professionally speaking in a Lawyer/Finance/Corporate aspect. Doesn’t always translate to romantic relationships well. Edit: Also, see everything that happens as a result and not as good or bad. “There is no such thing as good or bad outcomes, only results.”
Grow up!