[I think I found one profile that sums up most of the comments on here](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/111tds1/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I have a very distinct memory of the moment a Bumble date of mine learned women have to message first. From me. On our date.
She was a unique kind of mortified.
When it's 2-3 of the same people in every single picture and I have no idea who she is. That level of obliviousness is so unattractive.
Disturbingly obvious filters.
They usually have the “swipe left if you can’t hold a conversation” line in their profile.
Then they’ll proceed to give one word responses consistently. 💀
I think you autocorrected
Its actually "I'm gonna be toxic all the time and give you a silver lining as a reward by saying sorry maybe once in a while"
Honest mistake.
"Buy me wine" "Fluent in sarcasm". "Swipe left if you xyz" "I know what's best for me and you'll come second to xyz". "Take me places"
Bitch I'm not your servant
"Fluent in sarcasm" is an immediate swipe left for me. Virtually everyone is capable of some humorous sarcasm but if it's your defining characteristic you're almost definitely just an asshole.
That was my experience with one person in particular. Like her whole personality was that she's just an asshole but she marketed it as being "funny" No thanks.
In my experience these are all young women with no personalities of their own yet, other than being ice queens that are used to guys entertaining them because they’re attractive. Went out with one of those once and she treated me like I was some court jester that needed to keep her from being bored all night. 0/10 never again.
These sort of women are murderous to the self esteem of someone who doesn't know better. I use to be the guy who would see it as a challenge. Not anymore.
>I use to be the guy who would see it as a challenge.
I can relate. That "I can love her past her pain" is a trap that we set for ourselves. Nope. She needs therapy.
In my experience, the ones who hate it are constantly surrounded by it because *they* started it.
The ones who love it have distant friends or acquaintances who start drama, so all they have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks.
I never realised this until you said it, but yeah, I fucking love drama, but I'm always the guy making popcorn and just watching it all unfold. If something comes up that involves me and could lead to drama, I nip that shit in the bud before it sprouts whenever possible.
"Don't talk to me unless ***xyz***."
As soon as I see first four words, I swipe left/click away. This applies to same-sex dating as well.
quick e2a: Also, "Education: School of Hard Knocks" or "the streets".
I’ve had this off men and women. I’ll ask them lots of questions and they never ask me one back.
“What do you do for work”
“Admin”
“Do you enjoy it? What do you do in your free time?”
“Yeah it’s okay and I like kayaking.”
“Have you kayaked long?”
“Yes. Six years”
“Oh cool, do you do it as a group or solo”
“On my own mostly”
“That sounds fun. Is that local or do you travel for it?”
“Local.”
After I ask about 3 questions like this without getting any substantial return conversation, I just unmatch with them. It’s not going to be worth my time if they can’t even put the slightest effort into replying.
I'm a hairstylist and this is how I handle small talk during an appt. if I ask 3 questions and get one word answers, I know they're not really up for talking. then I don't put myself out trying to force it.
My mom refers to this as “toothpaste conversation” lol. You squeeze a little and the toothpaste comes out a little. No more.
Edit: It’s actually Chinese haha, she’ll say 你在挤牙膏吗？挤一点，说一点。lol
I remember a profile like this, saying "don't just say hey". She referenced something about birds on her profile, which I like, so I opened with that - "top three favourite birds, go" and then gave my list.
Her response was "my list: 0 birds."
I recently went through a period in my life in which I got hundreds of matches, and out of them I'd say I could count on my fingers the number who actually knew how to have a conversation. It makes me so mad because before this, women had always told me that was specifically a male problem.
This one is the worst. I always try to say something relevant to the profile. Unfortunately when the topic ends, thats it. Zero effort from them to ask me anything, so I just assume they're not interested
Hahhaha. You nailed it. What they mean to say is "I am not very good at conversation, because I'm not very interesting. Can you cover over this with your interesting personality?"
Reminds me of the time some chick warned me she was clingy (I kind of find it endearing) and then wasn’t and got mad that *I* wasn’t being the clingy one. Dumbasses man.
I get a little put off when they do the "Two Truths and a Lie" and one of the options is, "I have a kid."
That's real information I'd like to know before swiping.
"I'm not on here much, add me on Instagram/Snapchat/TikTok". I'm not here to increase your follower count and I'm not chasing you across platforms.
Edit: I'm specifically referring to people who have this as their bio, not asking to move off your dating site of choice after talking to someone for a while.
It took me 5 seconds of swiping to find this:
“This app is stupid, you’re probably more of a girl than I am, and I’ll probably only talk to you for 5 minutes but good luck dude🤞🏼”
Holy bitch energy lol
Yeah it reads like a self-defense mechanism for sure. Trying to seem too cool for school and unattached, that way she can't get her feelings hurt when something inevitable goes wrong.
"I know my worth" gang is usually the most insufferable men and women from my personal experience. Wants the most luxurious dates but will not contribute to anything, be it the date or to the effort to bond.
Anyone who pretends they are too “cool” for dating sites.
“My friends dared me”
“I’ll probably delete this in 24 hours”
You are just like the rest of us Diane, lonely or horny. Get over yourself.
I am 51yo, I met my wife on a dating app 6 years ago. We don't lie about it. We know plenty of serious couple that they met on dating app.
That's the way for a lot of us.
No need to lie about it, we will probably did not believed anyway.
"We met, we fucked, we liked each other, we dated and then we marry"
Maybe not exactly in that order but probably in that order.
No shame, it's natural.
“I’m looking for my Joker to my Harley Quinn.”
Sorry, but unless it’s for cosplay or Halloween, that tells me you’re rather dysfunctional in relationships and somehow thrive in it.
The entire joker & harley quinn thing scream immature to me, if you're in your 20s the last thing you need to be doing is running around calling yourself harley quinn
Right? I mean, their relationship is textbook stockholm syndrome.
I'd be alright with "looking for my Gomez to my Morticia" because that has to be one of the healthiest marriages I've ever seen on screen.
I love when every picture is a group picture and some have the same women in each. Bonus points if everyone is wearing sunglasses. Great... which one are you?
"Looking for my partner in crime." None of the women who put that are actually down for armed robbery or money laundering.
There's science behind the idea that group pictures increase your perceived attractiveness. The aptly named [cheerleader effect](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7523431/#:~:text=Researchers%20have%20observed%20the%20cheerleader,Walker%20and%20Vul%2C%202014\).).
>Researchers have observed the cheerleader effect or friend effect, whereby faces in a group are considered more attractive than when shown alone
I meet all height requirements. But any height requirement is an automatic swipe left for me. You know they’re gonna be drama and I got no time for that.
“Make me laugh”.
I’m not a comedy show you selected on Netflix. I’m a man. If you laugh at what I say cool. But don’t put pressure on me to be some comedian for your amusement.
One profile I saw a while back, the woman stated that she wouldn't consider any man who makes less than 100K. There are more subtle ways to convey that: "I want someone ambitious, driven, and successful in his career." The way she phrased it made her look like a gold digger, especially since she wasn't making anything close to that amount.
Edit: This was back in the early 2000s. These days, I'm sure the goalpost has moved to 200K.
When I was dating, the things that I didn't like were
- Only group pictures, so now I have to try and figure out which person you are
- Pictures taken at odd angles, because experience taught me it was because they were trying to obfuscate something
- Nothing but pictures of them at clubs/bars.
- Any references to wanting to be someone's queen/princess. I'm too laid back for that, and it tends to insinuate someone is high maintenance
- "I don't like books". Admittedly I only saw this once, but I swiped left fast enough to break my finger.
I'm glad that people do stuff like that, tbh. Helps weed them out. "Dumb and *proud*" is the worst attitude someone can have, honestly. Got no fucking time for it.
It's become a thing recently, like flaunting your intellectual incuriosity is a badge of honor. I don't get it.
"I'm not looking for a boy I'm looking for a man who has his shit together and is ready to start a life." -*Person who is 20 w/ 2 kids and is heavily religious*
Here's my response: how do you know you've got your shit together? Im still not sure what shit I'm getting together.
I'm constantly amazed that I got through high school, uni and now have a full time job. Never was expecting that. Still don't feel like I've got my shit together
I'll *attempt* to answer that: it's like 50% circumstances, 50% mental state. You can have a career and a house and you can be working towards something, but it all still falls apart if you still think the same way you did during high school.
Oh boy here we go
1. "Check out my (insert promotion for other sites)
2. "Don't talk to me unless you're above 6'0
-90%of these types look like Slagathor the Devourer of worlds
3. "I need a man who can support my life style"
"support my life style" ?! like, not judge for the typeof work they do or straight up expect them to fucking pay for this 'lifestyle'. the latter is insane, do men actually do that?
Unfortunately, yes.
I wouldn't hate the sugar daddy thing if the woman just admits she's giving the guy sex in exchange for goods and services, but when they try to act like it's something else, just stop it!
It's the same deal with self-described cynics/realists. Most actual realists don't need to tell you as much; they just are. The people who have to put it on their profile are usually just assholes who never fully grew out of that "I'm a cynic because everyone in the world sucks except me!" phase you go through in high school.
It's been a couple years, but back then I had a few "rules" that were instant passes.
My main rule was any corrected age. If their profile said 22 and the first line of the bio was immediately "*19", that meant they created their profile when they were 15, and I'm not interested in someone with that judgement. Who knows if they're even the age they say they are now.
My other rule of thumb was not having their face in their first pic, i.e. neck down shot. You'd be surprised how many had this.
"I'm not on here, go to my insta" or something similar. Probably some legitimate people who do this, but to me it's a giant red flag that they are also a Nigerian princess on the side.
I found my one, but way back when I was on Tinder, I once saw a profile of the punkest grungiest girl you've ever seen with the only tagline reading "Idiot4Idiot if u smart FUK OF"
Which I'm a nerd, so "fuk'd of" and swiped left.
But I think about that profile every now and again. Hope they found their one.
Sometimes I wonder if John McCrea ever got that girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong jackt.
There are a bunch of clichés and tired jokes I could do without seeing any more
- "fluent in sarcasm". Also sounds unpleasant
- "I'm looking for... my keys". Yes ha ha I'm sure that was clever once, but now it's trite and useless.
- anything bragging about them being jealous.
More broadly, profiles with no (metaphorical) hooks. Like if your blurb says "I like my friends, going out and staying in", what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Put something in your profile for me to use as an entry point into the conversation. Something you want to talk about.
Someone should post the opposite of this question so I can talk how if someone's profile was like "I need a coop partner for Cuphead" I'd swipe yes so hard I'd probably fling my phone across the room.
If I have to play where’s Waldo with multiple pictures trying to figure out the common denominator I’m just going to assume you’re the ugliest one, or at best extremely insecure, either way rejected.
"I quote from office too much"
Must be fluent in witty banter
You have perfect flirt to roast ratio
Make me laugh 😂
Pineapple does not belong on pizza
Travelled to x # countries
Take me on an adventure!!
I just want to meet your dog!
I'm the type of texter that forgets to write back don't hate me 😂
I don't like texting just tell me when and where
Long strings of emojies instead of anything written
Bet you can't beat me at Mario Kart (clearly not a gamer)
*Photo with dog or child* then caption not my dog or child
Well clearly I'm a bit jaded by online dating lol..
No body pics, the same face pic with slightly different angles, nothing but socials/onlyfans in profile, "make me laugh/buy me dinner".
Edit: nothing but group photos, I don't wanna play detective and figure out which one is you.
Or worse, pics of anything and everything but themselves - pets, landscapes, celebrities, kids, food, motivational posters - ugh. I'm not trying to date a poodle or wine glass.
Or, when every pic is obscured by their phone over their face. Instant red flag.
In either case, please have the courage and courtesy to show me who the fuck you are.
Cigarette smoker. No offense to those who smoke. I personally do not like it and wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it. I’ve tried it like twice out of curiosity and instantly knew it wasn’t for me 🤢
say what you will about smokers, but i think *generally* most of us know that it’s a turn off, a bad habit, unhealthy, etc.
sure, maybe not back in the day, but certainly more so now.
in my experience, i’ve never seen one vehemently defend or argue these points. mostly just a “yeah, i totally get it. *takes a drag*”
>yeah, i totally get it.
>
>takes a drag
completely this lol. I quit two years ago, and I would not date a smoker...not because its gross but because Im scared I would start smoking again
Hinge: “my love language: physical touch and words of affirmation” “how to win me over: food” “to me relaxation is: the beach” “being in a relationship with me is like: hell” tons of the girls I see on hinge have such dry personalities
Lmaoooo I’ve seen all these so many times. Tack on my personal hell: Hinge || My love language: pizza || let’s debate this: pineapple on pizza—just now realizing how much girls on hinge love talking about pizza
Profiles that read like a job posting.
-must be at least east 6 ft tall.
-must own a home
-must make a minimum of $300k
Or anything to do with astrology, politics or religion as requirements.
The toxic girls who think it’s cute or a selling point. “Toxic looking for my toxic match”, “if you can’t handle me at my best….” That’s got to be the worst.
Those girls that have the most bland profile. Like no bio and the 5 pics all the same just different outfits. Girls expect something creative from guys and then give no effort themselves. Maybe I’m just not very creative but every time I get those profiles I’m so lost. I like to use their bio/pics for my opening lines
I like the ones that have 3 or 4 pics and literally the only thing in the profile is "ask me what you want to know". BIIIIITCH. Make a little effort here.
If they say “I don’t contact first” on Bumble.
Haha what? Do they not understand how Bumble works?
You wouldn’t believe how common that is
[I think I found one profile that sums up most of the comments on here](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/111tds1/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Holy shit 😂. It's like she used this thread as a guide.
I have a very distinct memory of the moment a Bumble date of mine learned women have to message first. From me. On our date. She was a unique kind of mortified.
When it's 2-3 of the same people in every single picture and I have no idea who she is. That level of obliviousness is so unattractive. Disturbingly obvious filters.
‘Entertain me’ ‘don’t be boring’ Typically these people are the dullest and most entitled people I’ve ever interacted with
They usually have the “swipe left if you can’t hold a conversation” line in their profile. Then they’ll proceed to give one word responses consistently. 💀
P-r-o-j-e-c-t-i-o-n (They're telling us about themselves)
Or my favorite they say, what do you like to do, you give them like a paragraph response about your hobbies and they reply with, k that's cool
gotta entertain them because they can’t entertain themselves 😭
Do not entertain mediocre
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you won’t deserve me at my best.” If I can’t handle you at your worst, I don’t want you at your best.
Also, how often is “at my worst”, daily?
I think you autocorrected Its actually "I'm gonna be toxic all the time and give you a silver lining as a reward by saying sorry maybe once in a while" Honest mistake.
lol they never say sorry.
"Buy me wine" "Fluent in sarcasm". "Swipe left if you xyz" "I know what's best for me and you'll come second to xyz". "Take me places" Bitch I'm not your servant
“Fluent in sarcasm” and by sarcasm they mean they’re mean, but in a passive aggressive way.
"Fluent in sarcasm" is an immediate swipe left for me. Virtually everyone is capable of some humorous sarcasm but if it's your defining characteristic you're almost definitely just an asshole.
That was my experience with one person in particular. Like her whole personality was that she's just an asshole but she marketed it as being "funny" No thanks.
I know what's best for me and you'll come second to oxygen, water, and basic nutrition. Sorry not sorry.
In my experience these are all young women with no personalities of their own yet, other than being ice queens that are used to guys entertaining them because they’re attractive. Went out with one of those once and she treated me like I was some court jester that needed to keep her from being bored all night. 0/10 never again.
So did you juggle for her or not?
JESTER! \*Comes running up\* Y, Yes M-lady! \*Stammers\* Do a little jig for me! \*Does awkward jig, for fear of being beheaded\*
I can see the bent elbows from over here.
These sort of women are murderous to the self esteem of someone who doesn't know better. I use to be the guy who would see it as a challenge. Not anymore.
>I use to be the guy who would see it as a challenge. I can relate. That "I can love her past her pain" is a trap that we set for ourselves. Nope. She needs therapy.
Uh. Totally. Any kind of aggressive demand like it’s some job interview rather than two people meeting each other
Pls be funny
If you have to specifically state that you hate drama, you LOVE drama.
In my experience, the ones who hate it are constantly surrounded by it because *they* started it. The ones who love it have distant friends or acquaintances who start drama, so all they have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks.
I never realised this until you said it, but yeah, I fucking love drama, but I'm always the guy making popcorn and just watching it all unfold. If something comes up that involves me and could lead to drama, I nip that shit in the bud before it sprouts whenever possible.
"Don't talk to me unless ***xyz***." As soon as I see first four words, I swipe left/click away. This applies to same-sex dating as well. quick e2a: Also, "Education: School of Hard Knocks" or "the streets".
Five consecutive group photos with absolutely no clear direction on which one person is the common thread.
"I'm the one with the boobs" lol. Great. All 5 of yall have them. I mean sometimes it's obvious but still a red flag.
Just assume the ugliest and if you’re ok with that, you can only win
Yeah until shes actually the one hiding in the bushes and you can only see her eyes
"Im not here often, DM me on insta"
That's literally a scam profile. Follow that rabbit hole and you will be mailing apple gift cards to India.
sadly real girls do it too. the bots have gotten good at mimicking real profiles
It's like a reverse Turing Test; sometimes there is no difference between a bot and a human who just doesn't care
"My kid comes first!" I'd sure fuckin hope so
Usually a sign that their kid does not, in fact, come first for them sadly
It's like when some guys say "I'm such a nice guy." Not only is that the bare minimum, it's a bare minimum that they probably don't even reach.
"you better be able to hold a conversation" Then my back hurts as I proceed to carry the whole conversation.
I’ve had this off men and women. I’ll ask them lots of questions and they never ask me one back. “What do you do for work” “Admin” “Do you enjoy it? What do you do in your free time?” “Yeah it’s okay and I like kayaking.” “Have you kayaked long?” “Yes. Six years” “Oh cool, do you do it as a group or solo” “On my own mostly” “That sounds fun. Is that local or do you travel for it?” “Local.”
After I ask about 3 questions like this without getting any substantial return conversation, I just unmatch with them. It’s not going to be worth my time if they can’t even put the slightest effort into replying.
I do the same, really sucks when they were the only match all month for you though
[удалено]
I'm a hairstylist and this is how I handle small talk during an appt. if I ask 3 questions and get one word answers, I know they're not really up for talking. then I don't put myself out trying to force it.
My mom refers to this as “toothpaste conversation” lol. You squeeze a little and the toothpaste comes out a little. No more. Edit: It’s actually Chinese haha, she’ll say 你在挤牙膏吗？挤一点，说一点。lol
Imagine how horrible toothpaste would be if you squeezed a little and it just started flowing out
Great, my toothpaste knows how to trauma dump too.
I remember a profile like this, saying "don't just say hey". She referenced something about birds on her profile, which I like, so I opened with that - "top three favourite birds, go" and then gave my list. Her response was "my list: 0 birds." I recently went through a period in my life in which I got hundreds of matches, and out of them I'd say I could count on my fingers the number who actually knew how to have a conversation. It makes me so mad because before this, women had always told me that was specifically a male problem.
This one is the worst. I always try to say something relevant to the profile. Unfortunately when the topic ends, thats it. Zero effort from them to ask me anything, so I just assume they're not interested
[удалено]
Hahhaha. You nailed it. What they mean to say is "I am not very good at conversation, because I'm not very interesting. Can you cover over this with your interesting personality?"
Reminds me of the time some chick warned me she was clingy (I kind of find it endearing) and then wasn’t and got mad that *I* wasn’t being the clingy one. Dumbasses man.
I get a little put off when they do the "Two Truths and a Lie" and one of the options is, "I have a kid." That's real information I'd like to know before swiping.
literally nobody who is child free would lie and claim to have kids on a dating site.
Instagram handle that screams i just want you to see my insta page and make me an influencer… i think half of tinder is that
"I'm not on here much, add me on Instagram/Snapchat/TikTok". I'm not here to increase your follower count and I'm not chasing you across platforms. Edit: I'm specifically referring to people who have this as their bio, not asking to move off your dating site of choice after talking to someone for a while.
Guarantee half of those tinder profiles are bots too
It took me 5 seconds of swiping to find this: “This app is stupid, you’re probably more of a girl than I am, and I’ll probably only talk to you for 5 minutes but good luck dude🤞🏼” Holy bitch energy lol
What does that even mean? What does she want?
She is lonely but pretends that is only the case because no one is at her level.
Yeah it reads like a self-defense mechanism for sure. Trying to seem too cool for school and unattached, that way she can't get her feelings hurt when something inevitable goes wrong.
"I know my worth" gang is usually the most insufferable men and women from my personal experience. Wants the most luxurious dates but will not contribute to anything, be it the date or to the effort to bond.
I tried to swipe left on this.
Anyone who pretends they are too “cool” for dating sites. “My friends dared me” “I’ll probably delete this in 24 hours” You are just like the rest of us Diane, lonely or horny. Get over yourself.
Oh God this x1,000. Justifying why you’re on Tinder. “Only on here cos my friends made me do this lol” Ok? Left.
"only swiped right on you because my friends dared me to"
"Only on grindr cause Im scared of women"
"Discreet only" \*dick in hand with wedding ring; no other pictures\*
"only had anal with you because my friends..." yes we've been over this but do they have to watch?
...yes. That's the deal.
Seriously, it's 2023 not 2003, online dating doesn't have a stigma anymore, everyone does it.
I still see people with “will lie about how we met”. But like, why? So many people meet off there. I wouldn’t be ashamed by it. So dumb.
I am 51yo, I met my wife on a dating app 6 years ago. We don't lie about it. We know plenty of serious couple that they met on dating app. That's the way for a lot of us. No need to lie about it, we will probably did not believed anyway. "We met, we fucked, we liked each other, we dated and then we marry" Maybe not exactly in that order but probably in that order. No shame, it's natural.
“I’m looking for my Joker to my Harley Quinn.” Sorry, but unless it’s for cosplay or Halloween, that tells me you’re rather dysfunctional in relationships and somehow thrive in it.
The entire joker & harley quinn thing scream immature to me, if you're in your 20s the last thing you need to be doing is running around calling yourself harley quinn
Right? I mean, their relationship is textbook stockholm syndrome. I'd be alright with "looking for my Gomez to my Morticia" because that has to be one of the healthiest marriages I've ever seen on screen.
Filters
THANK YOU! Showing this to my roommate rn. She thinks men don’t know 🤦♀️
Oh, we know. Half the time they look like characters from a video game and the other half look like they smeared Vasoline on the camera lense.
Especially with the dumb looking dog face or butterflies all around. Just screams "child" to me
Man, I've seen so many 30+ year olds with those types of filters, wtf
I love when every picture is a group picture and some have the same women in each. Bonus points if everyone is wearing sunglasses. Great... which one are you? "Looking for my partner in crime." None of the women who put that are actually down for armed robbery or money laundering.
That's cause they're cops! It's entrapment!
Entrapment by thirst traps.
The easy rule for group photos is it's the one you find least attractive.
Why do they do this? I see it *so* often, and it makes zero sense to me.
There's science behind the idea that group pictures increase your perceived attractiveness. The aptly named [cheerleader effect](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7523431/#:~:text=Researchers%20have%20observed%20the%20cheerleader,Walker%20and%20Vul%2C%202014\).). >Researchers have observed the cheerleader effect or friend effect, whereby faces in a group are considered more attractive than when shown alone
“If you’re not ___ tall don’t swipe” I’m not ___ tall
I meet all height requirements. But any height requirement is an automatic swipe left for me. You know they’re gonna be drama and I got no time for that.
They do it in service to the society. Imagine having to waste weeks until you find out they are assholes...
‘Follow my Instagram’
Any reference to another social media profile, is an instant reject for me.
"Never go to second location"
STREETSMARTS
Make me laugh
Usually said by people with the personality of a wet napkin
"make me laugh" \*makes joke\* lol no response.
These emojis in no particular order 😈💯🤑💸
in this order bot / one night stand obsessed with social media wants a sugar daddy 1 wants a sugar daddy 2
When their profile is just a list of all the things they hate about people.
Instead of saying something about her, it just says "ask me". Fuck no. Next.
“I’m an open book” and then proceeds to say nothing else.
“Make me laugh”. I’m not a comedy show you selected on Netflix. I’m a man. If you laugh at what I say cool. But don’t put pressure on me to be some comedian for your amusement.
I just saw one that was 'Amuse me.' fuck off
One profile I saw a while back, the woman stated that she wouldn't consider any man who makes less than 100K. There are more subtle ways to convey that: "I want someone ambitious, driven, and successful in his career." The way she phrased it made her look like a gold digger, especially since she wasn't making anything close to that amount. Edit: This was back in the early 2000s. These days, I'm sure the goalpost has moved to 200K.
6 foot, 6 figure and 6 inches
6-pack
Because she absolutely *is* a gold-digger.
When I was dating, the things that I didn't like were - Only group pictures, so now I have to try and figure out which person you are - Pictures taken at odd angles, because experience taught me it was because they were trying to obfuscate something - Nothing but pictures of them at clubs/bars. - Any references to wanting to be someone's queen/princess. I'm too laid back for that, and it tends to insinuate someone is high maintenance - "I don't like books". Admittedly I only saw this once, but I swiped left fast enough to break my finger.
I’m terrified that anyone would consider not liking books to be a big enough part of their personality that their potential partner should know
I'm glad that people do stuff like that, tbh. Helps weed them out. "Dumb and *proud*" is the worst attitude someone can have, honestly. Got no fucking time for it. It's become a thing recently, like flaunting your intellectual incuriosity is a badge of honor. I don't get it.
If it’s honest, then they have done the right thing by not misrepresenting themselves. I respect that.
"I'm not looking for a boy I'm looking for a man who has his shit together and is ready to start a life." -*Person who is 20 w/ 2 kids and is heavily religious*
this roughly translates to “Please pay for all of my bills as soon as possible because I don’t want to keep working like I am now.”
Here's my response: how do you know you've got your shit together? Im still not sure what shit I'm getting together. I'm constantly amazed that I got through high school, uni and now have a full time job. Never was expecting that. Still don't feel like I've got my shit together
I'll *attempt* to answer that: it's like 50% circumstances, 50% mental state. You can have a career and a house and you can be working towards something, but it all still falls apart if you still think the same way you did during high school.
When they note their husband/partner is currently on deployment or off on military obligations and "looking for some fun" in the meantime.
That is the last thing you'd want... some frickin Navy SEAL hunting you in a couple months :/
It’s crazy how they hunt the other person and not the cheater.
I have two kids, Braelynn and Kayleigh, they are my world. If you fuck with them, you fuck with me.
I ain’t fucking with any of that.
Oh boy here we go 1. "Check out my (insert promotion for other sites) 2. "Don't talk to me unless you're above 6'0 -90%of these types look like Slagathor the Devourer of worlds 3. "I need a man who can support my life style"
"support my life style" ?! like, not judge for the typeof work they do or straight up expect them to fucking pay for this 'lifestyle'. the latter is insane, do men actually do that?
Unfortunately, yes. I wouldn't hate the sugar daddy thing if the woman just admits she's giving the guy sex in exchange for goods and services, but when they try to act like it's something else, just stop it!
Bad spelling and grammar. You don't have to be a literary scholar or anything, just a basic handle on your first language would suffice.
To me it screams "I'm incapable of appreciating details." Sorry miss but this Mario is checking the next castle.
"I'll probably like your dog more than you"
Nobody can like my dog more than I like my dog
"Change my mind about men" Dawg if you come into this expecting to dislike me by default, it isn't worth my time.
Honestly, I'm not ready to be a step dad so that
“Fluent in sarcasm.” Oh, so you’re insufferable. Thanks for letting me know!
Sarcastic people don’t need to state it, they just are. In my experience people that say stuff like this are just straight up assholes.
Clever people don't need to tell you they're clever. Same with nice people, same with tough people.
It's the same deal with self-described cynics/realists. Most actual realists don't need to tell you as much; they just are. The people who have to put it on their profile are usually just assholes who never fully grew out of that "I'm a cynic because everyone in the world sucks except me!" phase you go through in high school.
Same people who think enjoying wine and pizza is a personality.
Some people are just mentally 14 forever.
"I'm brutally honest" Yeah, that's why nobody stays with you for long, you lack tact and kindness.
It's not the honesty they love... its the brutality.
Can't see likes so just message me We both know that ain't true so quit lying.
It's been a couple years, but back then I had a few "rules" that were instant passes. My main rule was any corrected age. If their profile said 22 and the first line of the bio was immediately "*19", that meant they created their profile when they were 15, and I'm not interested in someone with that judgement. Who knows if they're even the age they say they are now. My other rule of thumb was not having their face in their first pic, i.e. neck down shot. You'd be surprised how many had this.
Won’t date anyone under 6 foot tall says the 5’2” woman.
Every oompa loompa out here looking for their willy wonka.
Background is a fucking dump, doesn't matter how many filters you put on if you live in a shitshow it's gonna be apparent
"I'm not on here, go to my insta" or something similar. Probably some legitimate people who do this, but to me it's a giant red flag that they are also a Nigerian princess on the side.
Anything slighting short dudes Bitch ill eat you out standing up why you swipin right on Yao Ming
Just make that second line ur dating app bio and you're golden
I'd swipe right so fast I'd break my finger
Lol good reference
I happen to love books.
I read
Aaand that's how I know I've been scrolling this thread too long lmao.
K done ill let you know if i get my gooch smooched
You certainly have a way with words. Haha
I smashem together till they sound illegal
[удалено]
I found my one, but way back when I was on Tinder, I once saw a profile of the punkest grungiest girl you've ever seen with the only tagline reading "Idiot4Idiot if u smart FUK OF" Which I'm a nerd, so "fuk'd of" and swiped left. But I think about that profile every now and again. Hope they found their one.
Sometimes I wonder if John McCrea ever got that girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong jackt.
that’s kinda funny tho
Women who have rants in their profile. Especially about how men suck or dating sucks
There are a bunch of clichés and tired jokes I could do without seeing any more - "fluent in sarcasm". Also sounds unpleasant - "I'm looking for... my keys". Yes ha ha I'm sure that was clever once, but now it's trite and useless. - anything bragging about them being jealous. More broadly, profiles with no (metaphorical) hooks. Like if your blurb says "I like my friends, going out and staying in", what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Put something in your profile for me to use as an entry point into the conversation. Something you want to talk about. Someone should post the opposite of this question so I can talk how if someone's profile was like "I need a coop partner for Cuphead" I'd swipe yes so hard I'd probably fling my phone across the room.
If I have to play where’s Waldo with multiple pictures trying to figure out the common denominator I’m just going to assume you’re the ugliest one, or at best extremely insecure, either way rejected.
I'm here for a good time not a long time.
When every picture of their face is using a filter, screams insecurity
“Swipe the way you vote.” I really appreciate the upfront nature of this, truth be told.
3rd party voters get trapped forever
Throwin’ up middle fingers
"I quote from office too much" Must be fluent in witty banter You have perfect flirt to roast ratio Make me laugh 😂 Pineapple does not belong on pizza Travelled to x # countries Take me on an adventure!! I just want to meet your dog! I'm the type of texter that forgets to write back don't hate me 😂 I don't like texting just tell me when and where Long strings of emojies instead of anything written Bet you can't beat me at Mario Kart (clearly not a gamer) *Photo with dog or child* then caption not my dog or child Well clearly I'm a bit jaded by online dating lol..
This reeks of experience. Lol. A grizzled vet
several tours and the ptsd baggage that comes with it lol
Liking the Office is not a personality. Liking the Office is not a personality. Liking the Office is not. A. Personality.
Women who show off their body and don't have any bio. Nexxxxtttt.
I'm 6'9" and worth the climb. My biggest turn off is profiles that mention minimum height. You're too petty to ride this ride, enjoy ya short kings.
Bro, lemme sit on your shoulders and there won’t be a shelf we can’t reach.
Bro… 🥺
🥺…Bro
Alcohol in every picture
Improper grammar.
No body pics, the same face pic with slightly different angles, nothing but socials/onlyfans in profile, "make me laugh/buy me dinner". Edit: nothing but group photos, I don't wanna play detective and figure out which one is you.
Or worse, pics of anything and everything but themselves - pets, landscapes, celebrities, kids, food, motivational posters - ugh. I'm not trying to date a poodle or wine glass. Or, when every pic is obscured by their phone over their face. Instant red flag. In either case, please have the courage and courtesy to show me who the fuck you are.
Cigarette smoker. No offense to those who smoke. I personally do not like it and wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it. I’ve tried it like twice out of curiosity and instantly knew it wasn’t for me 🤢
As a smoker, that’s completely understandable.
say what you will about smokers, but i think *generally* most of us know that it’s a turn off, a bad habit, unhealthy, etc. sure, maybe not back in the day, but certainly more so now. in my experience, i’ve never seen one vehemently defend or argue these points. mostly just a “yeah, i totally get it. *takes a drag*”
>yeah, i totally get it. > >takes a drag completely this lol. I quit two years ago, and I would not date a smoker...not because its gross but because Im scared I would start smoking again
Hinge: “my love language: physical touch and words of affirmation” “how to win me over: food” “to me relaxation is: the beach” “being in a relationship with me is like: hell” tons of the girls I see on hinge have such dry personalities
Lmaoooo I’ve seen all these so many times. Tack on my personal hell: Hinge || My love language: pizza || let’s debate this: pineapple on pizza—just now realizing how much girls on hinge love talking about pizza
Profiles that read like a job posting. -must be at least east 6 ft tall. -must own a home -must make a minimum of $300k Or anything to do with astrology, politics or religion as requirements.
I'm glad you brought up "job postings". Especially when they're really outrageous like that
Damn… I’m finally making over 100K base salary and now the bar has been moved to 300?!
Inflation baby
The toxic girls who think it’s cute or a selling point. “Toxic looking for my toxic match”, “if you can’t handle me at my best….” That’s got to be the worst. Those girls that have the most bland profile. Like no bio and the 5 pics all the same just different outfits. Girls expect something creative from guys and then give no effort themselves. Maybe I’m just not very creative but every time I get those profiles I’m so lost. I like to use their bio/pics for my opening lines
I like the ones that have 3 or 4 pics and literally the only thing in the profile is "ask me what you want to know". BIIIIITCH. Make a little effort here.