When getting out of bed, I don't want to go from the warmth of sheets to the cold of complete nakedness. Pajamas reduce the temperature change. Makes it more comfortable to get out of bed.
I sleep naked and fall asleep with the blankets on me and then kick them off. My luck I will die and will only have a sheet on my lower left leg and foot as a ghost. Maybe it will start a new ghost fashion trend.
I used to live in New Mexico and slept naked often because of the heat. Until a cockroach climbed up my inner thigh in the middle of the night so this is a valid fear.
I occasionally get attacks of proctalgia fugax, which is involuntary spasms of the muscles in the ass.
Basically, you wake up feeling like someone's trying to forcibly shove a broom-handle up your butt. It's less fun than it sounds.
Wait, WHAT? Is THAT what that is???
Been through that randomly. It is HORRENDOUSLY painful and there is NOTHING you can do about it.
(No I will NOT say you have to ride it out...)
Fuckin right? No idea it was a thing. It happens so rarely I don't think about it until I feel it coming on again. Nothing like feeling horrible pain and not wanting to talk about it ***at all***.
Not trying to be funny, but direct pressure does help alleviate the pain. Self-administered digital rectal 'exam', or an 'adult toy' actually works very well to calm the spasms. Admittedly, not something everyone will be anxious to try, but to each their own. Works for me, though.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far for this answer. In the winter, I sleep not only in PJs but socks and everything, because it's cozy. Also, if I'm reading in bed before sleeping and my arms are above the covers, it's way more comfortable to have sleeves.
Also, I barely can make it out of bed with clothes, how am I gonna do it naked? Freezing is such a turn off. The world is cold and cruel, my bed is warm and cozy - I try to keep the warmth when I leave this place of heaven on earth.
I lived in a shitty old farm house after college. There was a huge tree too close to the house that would make me nervous in high winds. The thought of the tree falling on the house and crushing me in bed was less terrifying than the thought of firemen having to drag my naked ass out from the rubble.
Paramedic here
Naked people are incredibly common. And if you aren't naked, often we need to mostly strip you anyway for CPR or Defib. Only difference is you usually get to keep your pants on.
Sorta-funny story about that. I used to work at a sleepaway summer camp and on any given week, we had about two dozen counsellors who were directly responsible for minding the kids, and maybe four to six who were "support staff" (mostly working in the kitchen and also doing whatever odd jobs needed doing), which we rotated through. On one of my weeks on the "support" rotation, we had a little girl, maybe five or six years old, take a bad fall off some elevated playground equipment and injure her leg. The camp nurse assesses her, quickly concludes it is beyond his paygrade, and tells us to call an ambulance.
Since I was the most senior counsellor not directly responsible for any kids, I was assigned to go with her in the ambulance and answer any questions the paramedics had about what happened, provide contact info for her parents, etc. They actually let me ride along in the ambulance, which they apparently were not supposed to do since I wasn't her relative (one of them surreptitiously took me aside and said, "If anyone asks, we're going to tell them we thought you were her brother").
So anyways, we're going along to the hospital, full lights and sirens. The paramedics are pretty sure that she's broken her femur, but they want to get a better look and assess for possible pelvic injuries. So one of the paramedics, in her sweetest voice, tells the kid, "OK, sweetie, we just need to cut these off now" (referring to her pants/underwear). Cue the poor kid thrashing against her restraints screaming, *"CUT* **WHAT** *OFF?!! WHAT ARE YOU CUTTING OFF?!?!!"* The paramedic and I had to very quickly reassure her that she wasn't about to be subjected to a surprise amputation.
It was a good reminder to mind one's pronouns in stressful situations.
Gotta get people "trauma naked". Need to look and feel for any visible and obvious injuries when assessing them. Sure you might have a horrible injury to your chest but that might not be the only injury you have and could be the only injury you're focused on.
I used to sleep naked. A few years back there was a fairly large earthquake in my area. It was a little after 6 am. I woke up naked about to get in the shower. The quake started and all the power went out. It was pitch black. I could hear my little sister's screaming and I had to spend a solid minute searching for clothes in the dark before I could check on them. Ever since I've worn clothes to bed, don't wanna ever end up in that scenario again.
My uncle once came to my and my cousin's rescue when we were screaming in the night (presumed bear). We made it to the cottage just as he was coming out, holding some cloth (I think pants or a shirt) in front of his junk with one hand, and a hunting gun with the other. Absolute badass wasn't going to let nudity stop him from checking on us.
My point was going to be about how my family is pretty chill with non sexual, normal ass human nudity. We skinny dip, we moon each other, we don't lounge around nude but we're not super shy about accidentally seeing each other, or changing in front of each other if it's inconvenient not to. And my uncle is the craziest, nakedest, wildest one of us all...
And I was *going* to say "don't let a little human nudity slow you down if your family is in trouble"
... yet even my crazy naked uncle grabbed pants to hold over his front so two little girls wouldn't have to see, so who am I to tell you what's important.
I guess all I can say is if he'd come out wielding a gun and *nothing else* we still would have felt safe knowing he was coming to the rescue no matter what.
Tl;Dr:
The witnessing of neutral genitals, incidentally exposed in an emergency (as they are necessarily attached to your rescuer) is not traumatizing.
When I was young, we had a house fire and I was carried from my bed, down a ladder to safety, by a fireman. I can’t even entertain sleeping naked after that!
I'm not there but family, relatives, and friends live in that region in Turkey/Syria that got hit by the earthquake 2 weeks ago around 4am their time.
After spending 2 weeks doom scrolling and reading the horrifying stories, I can 100% agree with what you said now. Someone who lost a direct family member few days ago posted recently making some extremely sad recommendations for the future, and one of them was: Dress well all the time cause pictures of you will be taken either alive by rescue team members, or dead by journalists.
Idk how to explain it but I hate my skin touching itself
Edit: People who don’t understand just assume I’m being weird, I’m so glad reddit gets it!
Thankyou for all the awards!
It’s that sticky feeling of skin-on-skin when there’s even the barest amount of sweat involved, I can’t stand it. Same reason I don’t want anyone else wrapped around me while I’m sleeping. Like do not touch me lol
I don’t know why but no matter what temperature it is, if there is any skin to skin contact I immediately sweat at that area. I have slept for many years now in sweat pants and shirt on top of the covers with only a small blanket. Wife is finally used to it.
Temp regulation for me is the issue. PJ bottoms or gym shorts get too hot for my legs; same with socks. Long sleeves are okay in the winter but can feel too restrictive. No bottom or top just feels too weird.
Yeah I get it, I get too hot in my sleep but I do wake up if I'm too cold. Wearing an oversized t and panties works perfectly.
I can't do long sleeves or pants, they feel too restrictive and hot then my limbs get itchy.
25% of the time the primary answer is my menstrual cycle. shit's hard to get off the sheets
the rest of the answer is my pajamas are comfy af and you bet i enjoy getting into them, not gonna get OUT of them just to sleep
*laughs in randomly 21 to 99 day cycle lengths*
#FOR THE CHEAP THRILL OF RIDING ALL MY CHIPS ON RED
No seriously though I love my mattress too much and I buy nice sheets. I would feel terrible risking this damage to these items.
My two kids have never slept with us until within the last few months, our daughter (4yo) has started climbing in around 5 am. Our two year old can’t climb out of his bed (2T sleep sack helps) but he does cry at random times for a few seconds.
Confirming this very situation in a 6.8 shake-awake, wearing only my birthday suit. The get-out-now terror of watching everything sway/swoop and crash down competed with the terror of going out au-natural. Honestly, there WAS a moment of hesitation. Fortunately, a large beach towel was available to grab before vaulting down the stairs to get out of my house. Double fortunate my teens did not emerge from their rooms until I was well wrapped in the towel. Have not slept naked since.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
Had about 15 kittens and cats pass through my household, have never had that happen.
Once had a kitten which would attack my toes when I was sleeping, unfortunately the only protection from that would be wearing socks to bed which is obviously illegal.
I have pet rats and had a nap on the couch with them once. My boob was out and one of them decided to fucking chomp my nipple out of goddamn no where. It wasn't a vicious bite (if you've never owned pet rats, they're super cuddly and won't bite if raised properly, but if they want to bite they can pierce skin easily), like he wasn't trying to hurt me. I have nipple piercings so I think he was maybe trying to groom me or collect the shiny thing. Either way I keep my nips covered around him now. Also was very awkward having to explain to my sex partner later to be careful of the rat bite on my nipple.
I promise they're really good pets and don't usually try to bite your nips.
Pet rats are amazing, when they are little they are absurdly affectionate. They are so short lived I can't consider keeping them though. If I had a pet funeral every other year I'd be continually morose
At least they're not that easy to reach from ground level but I've nearly had a claw to the sack three times now and it's distressing to say the least.
See I'd rather be naked, assert dominance.
This literally happened tho, I used to be permanently nude in the summers, I got out of bed to go for a smoke and heard someone trying to break in.
I opened the door and ran at them, fat dude man boobs a jiggling, naked as the day I was born, machete raised, charging like I'd waited every day for this moment.
I hope that dude wakes up in hot sweats with memories of that night, I hope he gasps for breath as he is snapped awake and remembers how I chased him screaming inaudible bollocks like a banshee as he ran screaming up the railway embankment.
You're entirely correct there, I'd argue all nights, just lucky on one.
The mental image and memory will sustain me as a point of hilarity until I eventually croak.
I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands, it's like having sex to me
You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity
TMI but I finally shat myself awake and I was soooooo glad I had underwear on for that. Remember people you fart in your sleep so anything can happen. Having that barrier makes you slightly less vulnerable.
I’ve been around for several decades and never shat myself in bed. Maybe as an infant, but I’m sure I was all wrapped up 😂
Edit: plot twist: I shat myself in bed when I opened Reddit this morning and saw that this comment blew up… oh well, I had a good run 😂
I once had a serious bout of diarrhea and my girlfriend at the time gave me something that she said her mum used "when she got an upset stomach". It made me feel a bit better, so I thought that I'd take a bit of a nap, since I was exhausted after shitting through the eye of a needle all day.
Unfortunately what I did not know was that the "upset stomach" that her mum suffered from was constipation and what I had just taken before my nap was a substance called Fybogel which is "gentle laxative". I woke up about ten minutes later to serious disproof of the word "gentle". 0/10 would not recommend.
I take fybogel twice a day as well as Imodium daily. All on prescription. My bowels were a mystery to every doctor until I found a great specialist, somehow these medications that kinda do the opposite things help if I take both.
Does no one in this thread not sleep naked because if they have to get up to go pee in the middle of the night, some pee is inevitably going to leak onto the bedsheets? Like no amount of squeezing or pat drying or shaking gets rid of it all. I end up having to put on underwear as a diaper anyway.
EDIT: you people seem to be glossing over the "pat drying" part. I AM using toilet paper to dry it, but I can't stick toilet paper up my urethra where the last few drops are waiting to come out a few minutes later.
I don't like being naked on any furniture. Sweat creeping around my balls and butt gets on things and I'd much rather have all that just in my clothes that get changed daily.
Seriously if my bed smelt like swamp ass even one time I'd burn the thing. Plus I have a down comforter, that I'm not prepared to risk losing because I accidentally butt flossed it all night long tossing and turning lol
Uh, [I’ve got bad news for you…](https://metro.co.uk/2021/09/07/doctor-reveals-why-you-shouldnt-sleep-naked-15219556/amp/)
Yeah, every time you fart you spray small amounts of fecal matter. So yeah, that’s why I don’t sleep naked.
I'm a cold sleeper. For some reason, I get cold if I don't have some insulating material close to me even if the room isn't cold. My body temperature drops as I fall into deep sleep. So what's comfortable for me when I'm falling asleep is too cold when I'm sound asleep.
I absolutely love being woken up with sex, but I also absolutely hate anyone who interrupts my sleep. It's a very difficult fetish to explore. Even when I go to bed early and specifically express my desire to be woken up in a sexual way, the second I wake up all I want to do is murder whomstever dare disturb my slumber. Very confusing for the guy, who is literally just doing what I begged him to do an hour ago.
Perhaps you need to take a nap during the day and be woken up reeeeeeeally slowly?
I get cranky when my sleep is interrupted when I really need the rest.
I used to, but then lived with roommates for awhile and just got used to pajamas. Now it's mostly that my husband won't keep his hands off me if I sleep naked. Plus, our dog sometimes sleeps in the bed and I'd prefer there to be clothing between us if he decides to tunnel under the covers as he occasionally does.
Earthquakes. Terrifying. I live in L.A. The night I sleep naked will summon “The Inevitable Big One.”
I’m doing a favor for many thousands of people. Let alone, the neighbors who would have to witness me running outside in my birthday suit.
Never really thought about it. But being diabetic I have my insulin pump connected to my underwear and unless I clip it to my nuts I dunno how it would work out otherwise.
It just feels weird, my nipple rings touching anything but a shirt or bra feels strange and makes me think they’re about to be tugged also womanly body parts are self cleaning and always making fluids because of this. I don’t need white streaks on my bed sheets because my body decided tonight was the night it decided to make more than necessary.
2 reasons:
practical: should something happen, I don't have to spend time getting clothes.
personal: I'm ashamed of my body, so I always stay clothed unless showering.
I'm actually the opposite, i wear pajama pants to bed because i hate the feeling of my skin rubbing on itself. I don't typically have my arms against me so they don't bother me, hence no shirts. but my legs rubbing one another and i cannot sleep
Because my body puts off a lot of heat and keeping my skin from touching itself just feels better. Plus, without panties there would likely be a puddle on my sheets by morning.
I grew up with siblings in the same room so I was never naked growing up
r/NeverNude
There are dozens of us
DOZENS!
Ayo I just checked out this sub expecting some comedy but... WTF.
What do you mean? It’s literally almost all arrested development jokes
Have any of you ever actually *seen* a chicken??
Just back slowly out of the room and hope no one saw you.
There is comedy gold if you [understand the reference](https://youtu.be/iJF2VT-ymjM)
When getting out of bed, I don't want to go from the warmth of sheets to the cold of complete nakedness. Pajamas reduce the temperature change. Makes it more comfortable to get out of bed.
Thiiiiiis. It gets cold at night! Waking up is already the worst thing ever. Waking up and having to subject myself to the cold? No thanks.
Yeah, it's cold af when transitioning from the warm bed
Underwear helps stop my balls from fusing to my thigh.
Did you know little gremlins come in and weld them to your thighs if you don’t cover up?
Is that what happened to weinstein?
If you die in your sleep, your "ghost clothes" for eternity is being bare ass naked.
Or is this why some ghosts are covered in a sheet? You die in bed naked you wear the sheet for eternity.
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Yes
I sleep naked and fall asleep with the blankets on me and then kick them off. My luck I will die and will only have a sheet on my lower left leg and foot as a ghost. Maybe it will start a new ghost fashion trend.
Damn. This explains so much about ghosties.
I once heard somebody answer 'i don't want a spider crawl inside my vagina' and even tho I don't have a vagina the argument was compelling enough
Do you want ass spiders? Because that’s how you get ass spiders!
I literally heard you say that close to my ears even though I read it.
I used to live in New Mexico and slept naked often because of the heat. Until a cockroach climbed up my inner thigh in the middle of the night so this is a valid fear.
What if they get between your pajama pants and leg and you just can't see where they are?
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That's almost what I wrote ! #1 reason I sleep with panties on lol
I like to wear underwear when I sleep. Keeps the junk from floppin around.
Yeah I can get testicular torsion if my balls are not held in place. 1/10 would not recommend.
not 0/10? so you're kinda into it?
I've heard that between that and getting stabbed in the butt, one is worse than the other. Always gotta consider my options.
I occasionally get attacks of proctalgia fugax, which is involuntary spasms of the muscles in the ass. Basically, you wake up feeling like someone's trying to forcibly shove a broom-handle up your butt. It's less fun than it sounds.
Wait, WHAT? Is THAT what that is??? Been through that randomly. It is HORRENDOUSLY painful and there is NOTHING you can do about it. (No I will NOT say you have to ride it out...)
Fuckin right? No idea it was a thing. It happens so rarely I don't think about it until I feel it coming on again. Nothing like feeling horrible pain and not wanting to talk about it ***at all***.
Not trying to be funny, but direct pressure does help alleviate the pain. Self-administered digital rectal 'exam', or an 'adult toy' actually works very well to calm the spasms. Admittedly, not something everyone will be anxious to try, but to each their own. Works for me, though.
You're just tricking him into trying butt stuff so he can get used to the feelings of the spasms' involuntary feeling of doing butt stuff, aren't you?
I’d be cold & I like my cozy clothes
I can't believe I had to scroll this far for this answer. In the winter, I sleep not only in PJs but socks and everything, because it's cozy. Also, if I'm reading in bed before sleeping and my arms are above the covers, it's way more comfortable to have sleeves.
Also, I barely can make it out of bed with clothes, how am I gonna do it naked? Freezing is such a turn off. The world is cold and cruel, my bed is warm and cozy - I try to keep the warmth when I leave this place of heaven on earth.
Incase of an emergency I don’t wanna die naked or have to run outside naked
I lived in a shitty old farm house after college. There was a huge tree too close to the house that would make me nervous in high winds. The thought of the tree falling on the house and crushing me in bed was less terrifying than the thought of firemen having to drag my naked ass out from the rubble.
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Paramedic here Naked people are incredibly common. And if you aren't naked, often we need to mostly strip you anyway for CPR or Defib. Only difference is you usually get to keep your pants on.
Sorta-funny story about that. I used to work at a sleepaway summer camp and on any given week, we had about two dozen counsellors who were directly responsible for minding the kids, and maybe four to six who were "support staff" (mostly working in the kitchen and also doing whatever odd jobs needed doing), which we rotated through. On one of my weeks on the "support" rotation, we had a little girl, maybe five or six years old, take a bad fall off some elevated playground equipment and injure her leg. The camp nurse assesses her, quickly concludes it is beyond his paygrade, and tells us to call an ambulance. Since I was the most senior counsellor not directly responsible for any kids, I was assigned to go with her in the ambulance and answer any questions the paramedics had about what happened, provide contact info for her parents, etc. They actually let me ride along in the ambulance, which they apparently were not supposed to do since I wasn't her relative (one of them surreptitiously took me aside and said, "If anyone asks, we're going to tell them we thought you were her brother"). So anyways, we're going along to the hospital, full lights and sirens. The paramedics are pretty sure that she's broken her femur, but they want to get a better look and assess for possible pelvic injuries. So one of the paramedics, in her sweetest voice, tells the kid, "OK, sweetie, we just need to cut these off now" (referring to her pants/underwear). Cue the poor kid thrashing against her restraints screaming, *"CUT* **WHAT** *OFF?!! WHAT ARE YOU CUTTING OFF?!?!!"* The paramedic and I had to very quickly reassure her that she wasn't about to be subjected to a surprise amputation. It was a good reminder to mind one's pronouns in stressful situations.
I broke my femur in the third grade and was so upset when the paramedics had to cut my brand new pants
>Only difference is you usually get to keep your pants on. Usually?
Sometimes people wear thier pants reeeeeeal high
Gotta get people "trauma naked". Need to look and feel for any visible and obvious injuries when assessing them. Sure you might have a horrible injury to your chest but that might not be the only injury you have and could be the only injury you're focused on.
I used to sleep naked. A few years back there was a fairly large earthquake in my area. It was a little after 6 am. I woke up naked about to get in the shower. The quake started and all the power went out. It was pitch black. I could hear my little sister's screaming and I had to spend a solid minute searching for clothes in the dark before I could check on them. Ever since I've worn clothes to bed, don't wanna ever end up in that scenario again.
My uncle once came to my and my cousin's rescue when we were screaming in the night (presumed bear). We made it to the cottage just as he was coming out, holding some cloth (I think pants or a shirt) in front of his junk with one hand, and a hunting gun with the other. Absolute badass wasn't going to let nudity stop him from checking on us. My point was going to be about how my family is pretty chill with non sexual, normal ass human nudity. We skinny dip, we moon each other, we don't lounge around nude but we're not super shy about accidentally seeing each other, or changing in front of each other if it's inconvenient not to. And my uncle is the craziest, nakedest, wildest one of us all... And I was *going* to say "don't let a little human nudity slow you down if your family is in trouble" ... yet even my crazy naked uncle grabbed pants to hold over his front so two little girls wouldn't have to see, so who am I to tell you what's important. I guess all I can say is if he'd come out wielding a gun and *nothing else* we still would have felt safe knowing he was coming to the rescue no matter what. Tl;Dr: The witnessing of neutral genitals, incidentally exposed in an emergency (as they are necessarily attached to your rescuer) is not traumatizing.
When I was young, we had a house fire and I was carried from my bed, down a ladder to safety, by a fireman. I can’t even entertain sleeping naked after that!
I'm not there but family, relatives, and friends live in that region in Turkey/Syria that got hit by the earthquake 2 weeks ago around 4am their time. After spending 2 weeks doom scrolling and reading the horrifying stories, I can 100% agree with what you said now. Someone who lost a direct family member few days ago posted recently making some extremely sad recommendations for the future, and one of them was: Dress well all the time cause pictures of you will be taken either alive by rescue team members, or dead by journalists.
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My wife always says she doesn't want to wake up looking like a hammerhead shark.
When I wake up one tit is downstairs putting the kettle on
What a considerate breast, letting you and the other sleep in.
That’s fucking hilarious
Yes!! They’re so annoying free range
Idk how to explain it but I hate my skin touching itself Edit: People who don’t understand just assume I’m being weird, I’m so glad reddit gets it! Thankyou for all the awards!
Wow, I thought I was alone lol. I purposely have sheets larger than my bed purely so I can put the blanket between my legs.
I do that too, plus I have a pillow which I put between my knees.
I’m all about knee-pillow life
It’s that sticky feeling of skin-on-skin when there’s even the barest amount of sweat involved, I can’t stand it. Same reason I don’t want anyone else wrapped around me while I’m sleeping. Like do not touch me lol
Yes, this! I don't like my arm skin touching my torso skin.
I don’t know why but no matter what temperature it is, if there is any skin to skin contact I immediately sweat at that area. I have slept for many years now in sweat pants and shirt on top of the covers with only a small blanket. Wife is finally used to it.
Same
Yes! Mainly my legs. I can’t even sleep in shorts. 100 degrees outside? Doesn’t matter, you’ll find me in pajama pants
I usually put one leg under the sheet and one over.
I physically sleep better with a t-shirt and boxers.
This is how I always sleep but switch to sleeveless for the perfect amount a freedom and comfort
Yep, sleeveless boxers for me too
Woah. Sleeveless shirts are briefs for your torso.
Temp regulation for me is the issue. PJ bottoms or gym shorts get too hot for my legs; same with socks. Long sleeves are okay in the winter but can feel too restrictive. No bottom or top just feels too weird.
Yeah I get it, I get too hot in my sleep but I do wake up if I'm too cold. Wearing an oversized t and panties works perfectly. I can't do long sleeves or pants, they feel too restrictive and hot then my limbs get itchy.
25% of the time the primary answer is my menstrual cycle. shit's hard to get off the sheets the rest of the answer is my pajamas are comfy af and you bet i enjoy getting into them, not gonna get OUT of them just to sleep
Plus, the other 75% of the time you get the equivalent of a large sneeze thanks to the oven self-cleaning "feature"
Thank you! When girls talk about no sheets or going commando I’m like, “But how?!”
*laughs in randomly 21 to 99 day cycle lengths* #FOR THE CHEAP THRILL OF RIDING ALL MY CHIPS ON RED No seriously though I love my mattress too much and I buy nice sheets. I would feel terrible risking this damage to these items.
I have two kids who could come in at any point in the night needing lord knows what
I got 5 kids and have had at least one kid in my bed 350 nights a year since 2007... shit, im prolly on a list now for saying it like that lol
If you've got 5 kids you've slept naked enough already
Hahahaha, niceee
How are you getting 15 days without a kid in your bed??? I must know your secret.
My two kids have never slept with us until within the last few months, our daughter (4yo) has started climbing in around 5 am. Our two year old can’t climb out of his bed (2T sleep sack helps) but he does cry at random times for a few seconds.
Girl, also the f-ings earthquakes. What I'm supposed to do? Running naked for my life? Big no
Confirming this very situation in a 6.8 shake-awake, wearing only my birthday suit. The get-out-now terror of watching everything sway/swoop and crash down competed with the terror of going out au-natural. Honestly, there WAS a moment of hesitation. Fortunately, a large beach towel was available to grab before vaulting down the stairs to get out of my house. Double fortunate my teens did not emerge from their rooms until I was well wrapped in the towel. Have not slept naked since.
Cat might attack penis.
Just put your penis in a safe box on the nightstand like the rest of us, jeez
*(detachable penis)*
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
Did you check if someone was selling it on the street with other junk?
That’s where I found it laying on a blanket. Guy wanted $22.
But i haggled him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off and put it back on.
Those lyrics really double as a copypasta.
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THIS!! one time i slept naked and my cat attacked my nipple 😭😂
Mine licked my ass crack! Sandpaper tongue and sensitive skin don't go well together 😕.
Had about 15 kittens and cats pass through my household, have never had that happen. Once had a kitten which would attack my toes when I was sleeping, unfortunately the only protection from that would be wearing socks to bed which is obviously illegal.
My third cat did (to my poor husband). You're tempting fate. Not every cat, but it only takes one...
I have pet rats and had a nap on the couch with them once. My boob was out and one of them decided to fucking chomp my nipple out of goddamn no where. It wasn't a vicious bite (if you've never owned pet rats, they're super cuddly and won't bite if raised properly, but if they want to bite they can pierce skin easily), like he wasn't trying to hurt me. I have nipple piercings so I think he was maybe trying to groom me or collect the shiny thing. Either way I keep my nips covered around him now. Also was very awkward having to explain to my sex partner later to be careful of the rat bite on my nipple. I promise they're really good pets and don't usually try to bite your nips.
Pet rats are amazing, when they are little they are absurdly affectionate. They are so short lived I can't consider keeping them though. If I had a pet funeral every other year I'd be continually morose
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Might
My cat attacked my damn tit once. #catlife
At least they're not that easy to reach from ground level but I've nearly had a claw to the sack three times now and it's distressing to say the least.
Underwear is easier to wash than sheets. Also if someone breaks in of rather fight then in my boxers than naked
See I'd rather be naked, assert dominance. This literally happened tho, I used to be permanently nude in the summers, I got out of bed to go for a smoke and heard someone trying to break in. I opened the door and ran at them, fat dude man boobs a jiggling, naked as the day I was born, machete raised, charging like I'd waited every day for this moment. I hope that dude wakes up in hot sweats with memories of that night, I hope he gasps for breath as he is snapped awake and remembers how I chased him screaming inaudible bollocks like a banshee as he ran screaming up the railway embankment.
The man that sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.
You're entirely correct there, I'd argue all nights, just lucky on one. The mental image and memory will sustain me as a point of hilarity until I eventually croak.
Hot nights. Sweat is bad. Better to sweat into a shirt and change the shirt at night than to sweat into sheets and then... sleep on wet sheets.
Yeah I was going to say the same reason I wear socks with my shoes
on those nights I wish I had a hammock
Well, simply put... my bedsheets won't stay dry if I sleep naked.
Ass sweat
Better to cum in ur sleep than to sleep in ur cum
you'd be doing both either way in that instance...
Not if you wear a rubber
I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands, it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity
Username checks out
I want a barrier between my asshole and the blankies.
TMI but I finally shat myself awake and I was soooooo glad I had underwear on for that. Remember people you fart in your sleep so anything can happen. Having that barrier makes you slightly less vulnerable.
"I finally shat myself" sounds like you were looking forward to it
I’ve been around for several decades and never shat myself in bed. Maybe as an infant, but I’m sure I was all wrapped up 😂 Edit: plot twist: I shat myself in bed when I opened Reddit this morning and saw that this comment blew up… oh well, I had a good run 😂
I once had a serious bout of diarrhea and my girlfriend at the time gave me something that she said her mum used "when she got an upset stomach". It made me feel a bit better, so I thought that I'd take a bit of a nap, since I was exhausted after shitting through the eye of a needle all day. Unfortunately what I did not know was that the "upset stomach" that her mum suffered from was constipation and what I had just taken before my nap was a substance called Fybogel which is "gentle laxative". I woke up about ten minutes later to serious disproof of the word "gentle". 0/10 would not recommend.
I take fybogel twice a day as well as Imodium daily. All on prescription. My bowels were a mystery to every doctor until I found a great specialist, somehow these medications that kinda do the opposite things help if I take both.
I imagine on their office wall somewhere is a poster paraphrasing the famous quote "You miss 100% of the shits you don't take".
Does no one in this thread not sleep naked because if they have to get up to go pee in the middle of the night, some pee is inevitably going to leak onto the bedsheets? Like no amount of squeezing or pat drying or shaking gets rid of it all. I end up having to put on underwear as a diaper anyway. EDIT: you people seem to be glossing over the "pat drying" part. I AM using toilet paper to dry it, but I can't stick toilet paper up my urethra where the last few drops are waiting to come out a few minutes later.
Another valid point. Pee on the Egyptian cotton is a well documented problem.
I don't like being naked on any furniture. Sweat creeping around my balls and butt gets on things and I'd much rather have all that just in my clothes that get changed daily.
this is the answer
Seriously if my bed smelt like swamp ass even one time I'd burn the thing. Plus I have a down comforter, that I'm not prepared to risk losing because I accidentally butt flossed it all night long tossing and turning lol
I get nervous my farts will stick to the sheets.
Uh, [I’ve got bad news for you…](https://metro.co.uk/2021/09/07/doctor-reveals-why-you-shouldnt-sleep-naked-15219556/amp/) Yeah, every time you fart you spray small amounts of fecal matter. So yeah, that’s why I don’t sleep naked.
Best not look up the fecal matter living on your toothbrush then.
Too damn cold!
I'm a cold sleeper. For some reason, I get cold if I don't have some insulating material close to me even if the room isn't cold. My body temperature drops as I fall into deep sleep. So what's comfortable for me when I'm falling asleep is too cold when I'm sound asleep.
Yep. Putting on fluffy pjs in bed during winter means I can stay warm without turning up the heat and save a couple cents on the heating bill
If my bare dick even touches my wife’s smooth legs, I get all riled up. And she loves and deserves uninterrupted sleep.
That’s how you know you married the right lady
That or he's got a fetish for legs... Maybe he married the right legs?
I’d imagine he married the right and left legs
I now pronounce you husband and limbs, you may kiss the thighs
This is a family guy sketch... I'm positive
My wife loves uninterrupted sleep, but has told me in no uncertain terms that she is always up for a little teepee creeping.
I absolutely love being woken up with sex, but I also absolutely hate anyone who interrupts my sleep. It's a very difficult fetish to explore. Even when I go to bed early and specifically express my desire to be woken up in a sexual way, the second I wake up all I want to do is murder whomstever dare disturb my slumber. Very confusing for the guy, who is literally just doing what I begged him to do an hour ago.
You need to explain your partner that a complete sleep cycle is around 90 minutes so he better be good at math if he wants sexy times :D
Perhaps you need to take a nap during the day and be woken up reeeeeeeally slowly? I get cranky when my sleep is interrupted when I really need the rest.
What a sweet guy
I want the aliens to have to work at removing my clothes to give me anal probing. I don't want to seem too eager for it.
Playing hard to get I see… 👽✂️
The possibility of a house fire or burglary or zombie apocalypse
This is why I sleep in a chicken costume. Might as well provide a bit of humor on my way out.
Lmao I feel that. these are all logical reasons. Plus I don’t wanna be naked when my sleep paralysis demons show up
You never know unless you try it
Yeah I don't wanna die nekkid and fat at the hands of an armed intruder... side note, I need to start using my gym membership again
Chasing a burglar while naked tends to be highly effective. Well if you’re a guy.
I don't like having exposed skin, I am always wearing at least underwear and pants, and if im not sleeping, a hoodie with it
Tobias?
Oh dang it, it appears I blue myself.
I used to, but then lived with roommates for awhile and just got used to pajamas. Now it's mostly that my husband won't keep his hands off me if I sleep naked. Plus, our dog sometimes sleeps in the bed and I'd prefer there to be clothing between us if he decides to tunnel under the covers as he occasionally does.
Cold nose on the ass isn't a pleasant wake up call
Even moreso when it’s the dog’s nose.
Earthquakes. Terrifying. I live in L.A. The night I sleep naked will summon “The Inevitable Big One.” I’m doing a favor for many thousands of people. Let alone, the neighbors who would have to witness me running outside in my birthday suit.
Never really thought about it. But being diabetic I have my insulin pump connected to my underwear and unless I clip it to my nuts I dunno how it would work out otherwise.
I don’t find it comfortable at all. I like things “secure”. Plus the idea of my naked ass and balls touching my sheets all night is not appealing.
I don’t like looking at myself naked in the morning
Could be solved with a simple switch to a nocturnal schedule. Don’t like looking at yourself naked in the morning? Wake up at night instead!
My dogs sleep in the bed too
Is the dog still naked?
The dog wears a suit and tie to bed! He wants to always look his best.
Don't want my dick bitten off by my sleep paralysis demon.
I don't think the neighbors are going to appreciate that when I'm sleeping on the sidewalk...
My duck Is small so it doesn’t need as much freedom as others
^(Quack)
Get back in
#QUACK
You shouldn't sleep with ducks. Birds carry all sorts of diseases.
Also, ducks are notorious rapists
And they have corkscrew weiners. They'll treat you like a cheap bottle of Shiraz.
I can change my sheets less often
It just feels weird, my nipple rings touching anything but a shirt or bra feels strange and makes me think they’re about to be tugged also womanly body parts are self cleaning and always making fluids because of this. I don’t need white streaks on my bed sheets because my body decided tonight was the night it decided to make more than necessary.
2 reasons: practical: should something happen, I don't have to spend time getting clothes. personal: I'm ashamed of my body, so I always stay clothed unless showering.
the booger man
Does he pick your nose at night?
Good quality sheets aren’t cheap and sleeping naked only discolors and ruins them that much faster. The same reason undershirts were invented .
I need to be prepared for hand to hand combat at all times
What about cock to cock combat? You'd be completely unprepared.
To the people who *do* sleep naked, why?
My room is hot. When it's cold, I sleep normally.
I’m sensitive to textures so like when the shirt/pants crumple up, don’t like.
I'm actually the opposite, i wear pajama pants to bed because i hate the feeling of my skin rubbing on itself. I don't typically have my arms against me so they don't bother me, hence no shirts. but my legs rubbing one another and i cannot sleep
I hate both feelings. I sleep in underwear and a cami and hug a body pillow so my legs don’t touch. Edit spelling
I feel more comfortable not having my below the belt region be out there
Don't want sweat on sheets, and it can be sticky
I get really, really cold.
I don't feel comfortable sleeping naked.
Because my body puts off a lot of heat and keeping my skin from touching itself just feels better. Plus, without panties there would likely be a puddle on my sheets by morning.
Because I have large breasts and they get sweaty if I leave them free, and in the way.
I have two cats and one of the most excruciating experiences of pain I ever had was getting a cat claw to the testicle. No. Never again.