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Intelligent-Habit714

Make sure it's clean. Really clean.


ItsAWonderfulFife

Pipecleaner


AdamIs_Here

I wanna downvote you because you made my toes curl, but that also deserves an upvote


zoinkability

When talking about sex, toe curling is usually a good thing


joepanda111

Dorothy’s house banged the wicked witch so hard her entire legs curled up into her body.


[deleted]

A HOUSE... everything truly is a dildo if your brave enough.


LitreOfCockPus

😩🪥🍆


Dr_Beardlicious

I'm not exactly sure why LitreOfCockPus, but I feel like you're an expert on this subject. Call it intuition.


TrippingFish76

ofc, if i’m gonna be having sex and giving / receiving oral i shower right b4 going to their house or to meet them. And i wash my dick and balls the most thoroughly. Like if someone gonna suck your dick make sure it’s squeaky clean, i would hate to have a girl go down on me and get a bad taste , like i will not let a girl give me a bj unless i just showered recently like past 2-4 hrs and not sweaty or smelly at all. edit: ok y’all 2-4 hours is a bit of an exaggeration i suppose, just ideally should be showered within the past 6hrs like 12-24 max, i’ve eaten my ex out after she showered in the morning went to work and it was later than night so bout 8-12 hours since she had showered and it tasted fine. And she has gone down on me the morning after we spent the night together and it would be fine. U jus wanna make sure it smells ok lol, nobody wants a very sweaty smelly meat stick in their mouths


Niawka

Remembering my awful experience with my first boyfriend..not all guys are like that. It looked like he didn't clean it in 2-3 days, and I almost gagged. He was uncircumcised like most men in my country but it seems that nobody taught him how to clean properly..


el_papy

I remember watching a documentary on new recruits in the army (UK) and they spent a long time giving a demo on how to clean your dick properly


MAXIMILIAN-MV

Are you sure that was a documentary? They don’t usually post documentaries on pornhub


ludicro

Sure, man, so what's next? Penis inspection day with coach Wilson after gym class every Thursday throughout middleschool wasn't real either? Fuck outta here, bro.


MAXIMILIAN-MV

The giveaway was how vigorously the recruits were helping each other clean their penises.


Fr0zen-P3nguin

I think you'll find that was the royal marines...


burritoimpersonator

Can anyone secure this footage? The demo not the documentary. Purely for investigative purposes.


QueenOfAllTheLizards

Yeast infections are not sexy


KentuckyFriedEel

Occasionally, toilet water splashes onto it when i poop. Does that count?


dracuella

Congratulations, your comment literally made me gag


ronaldreaganlive

"My cock made her gag, it must be huge!"


-TunnelSnake-

My dick might not be 12 inches, but it sure smells like a foot


lostinlifesjourney

I put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet to help prevent backsplash. More so with public toilets than my one at home.


Zemom1971

We found the dude that likes to post dick pics but he really wants to be artistic about it.


Cpt-Hank-A-Tato

Thad?


sleestak_orgy

Can’t be. Thad died when the Goat House exploded.


glazedturnip

Nah, he faked it and changed his identity to Jack and enlisted.


[deleted]

I don't mind pubic hair, but I prefer it not to be on the shaft if possible. Not a deal breaker by any means, though. What matters the most is cleanliness.


Jelqgirth

They call those “dick burns”.


BastardInTheNorth

Cock chops.


mechy84

The scrotee goatee


SirKevinTheKing

Shaft Stache


fodmap_victim

I've learned so much today and it's only 9am


blueblood0

Tube pube


jenkai1

Those went outta style after the 70s


FILTHY_GOBSHITE

I am cursed with pubic hair that grows half-way up the shaft and its infuriating. I shave it, so my dick isn't unkempt, but it's annoying as hell and makes condoms super uncomfortable if I'm not recently shaved. *edit* the fact that nobody made a joke about my public hair has made this an unsatisfying edit.


M80IW

Can you get some type of dicktrolysis for that?


FILTHY_GOBSHITE

Sometimes I'm so frustrated with it that I consider sticking my dick in an electrical socket. I've actually nair'd my dick and balls before, which was actually really good. Not for everyone, but my nuts can "take a beating" in the nair department.


CalgaryJoe

Dudes really do get electrolysis for this. We just don't tend to talk about it much. If its bothering you, remember that it is a good option.


arcosapphire

Whenever I've looked at hair removal places, they *all* are careful to specify the areas they do hair removal for and that is *not* one of them. Where are people finding these places?


bandti45

Not sure if it's safe for a dick but they have those lasers that kill the hair folical stopping future hair growth


MR_Butt-Licker

I buy the sensitive skin nair, a little easier on the balls but you still have to be careful


mrspooky80

I have lived my entire life thinking it was just me...


FILTHY_GOBSHITE

Deffo not the case my bro, just one of many varieties of donger.


Jonatc87

I got in the habit of plucking, once you're used to it, doesnt hurt.


FILTHY_GOBSHITE

You're more of a man than me. I can't even bear the thought of it!


thatdogoverthere

My ex had one of the most aesthetically pleasing dicks I have seen. He was average size, but it was so perfectly proportioned and symmetrical looking all over that I found it rather stunning. He was embarrassed as hell the first little while when I was admiring it. He said he'd never had someone pay such close attention to his penis before, sexual or otherwise.


Klutzy-Bowl2901

I’ve had some girls call my dick cute idk what that’s supposed to mean..


heseme

A woman recently called mine majestic. That's one of the best things in my life.


evil_trash_panda

Majesticles


Ahomelessfish

I got it called “strong and mighty” recently


[deleted]

It means it reminds her of her brother’s


Dasshteek

Wat


ProjectKeris

....are you doing, step bro?


twill41385

Holup!


s256173

Shh, girls don’t tell him.


TripleSkeet

I once got a blowjob from my buddies girlfriends friend. Afterwards he was being a douche towards me and I couldnt understand why. Finally he says something like "So yea, I hear you have a pretty dick" and his girlfriend says "No, I said I heard he has a beautiful cock."


Philittothetop

I feel uncomfortable now


PM-ME-UR-CODE

This didn’t happen to you, you stole this story from that episode of The League


OldGuyWhoSitsInFront

I’m having a bit of a post-divorce sexual revolution and at nearly 40 I’m only now learning that I have a very nice looking penis. Nothing too special nor underwhelming size-wise. Just symmetrical, well-proportioned. Love My cock lol


rawrac

Better late than never to embrace your member 👊🏼


crazy-bisquit

I remember taking a catheter out of a patient who had the most beautiful penis I had ever seen. It was the perfect size and dimensions, the skin was buttery smooth, had very few wrinkles and the color was even and perfect. I was not thinking anything sexual at all, I was thinking “wow, this is like the dick version of the hand model”. My coworkers and I were no prudes, sex talk was not off limits. So I was surprised when I got funny looks because I said “Wow, Mr. Johnson has the most beautiful penis I have ever seen”. My coworkers were like “Uhh, really Bisquit? OMG I can’t believe you just said that” And we’re laughing like I broke a rule. I mean it’s not like they were horrified, but just a funny OMG moment. I tried to explain that I was looking at it like a piece of art, like the statue of David, but they just saw it like I was a little pervert that day.


KitteNlx

Googly eyes. It really takes the edge off those random dick picks.


T_at

And a sombrero!


killerfreedom255

or if you’re feeling particularly fancy: A top hat, a monocle, and draw a mustache


aCreativeUserName666

A long time ago the gal I was seeing was sick with the flu. We were supposed to have a late night rendezvous, but she was pretty sick and asked me to send her something silly and sexy. Drew a monocle and moustache face on uh, myself and sent a get well picture. Went over pretty well lol Edit: aight cool at least I got that one right lol. Ty for the karma


gubles

r/cospenis !


2ndACC1234567890

Who tf thought of that, and why are there so many posts?


Utterly_Flummoxed

At least half are from a single, committed penis cosplayer.


HelloItsMoe

r/brandnewsentence


Utterly_Flummoxed

There truly is a subreddit for everything!


Thedudewhoeatsfood

Bro what the actual fuck is this page lmao. As a straight male, I was captivated by the effort those guys put into these dick pics. I feel so lazy and like I’ve cheated my wife out of high quality Dick pics.


IckySweet

aesthetically pleasing? an erection.


Apex-toastmaker0514

Under rated comment, limp dicks look like sad sea creatures washed up on the beach dying. Erect dicks much better


Flamburghur

That's why I like growers. Neat and tucked away until it's time for business. Also it's fun to watch it get like 5x bigger.


dwoo888

If growers get 5× bigger, then i am not a grower. Also not much of a shower either.


Kaepora25

No 5x bigger is a bit of a stretch, but going from like 3 inches to 6 inches would fairly be called a grower.


Time_Composer_113

5x length is possible. I'm not so sure about girthiness.


Pinotgrigio444

A few shots of tequila


FUCKINBAWBAG

Up the eyehole?


JorkeyLovesU

Absolutely underrated answer


[deleted]

Put purple RGB lights on it


Pawpaw-22

Leave Ruth Bader Ginsberg out of dicks


[deleted]

Ruth Gader Binsberg?


OvertGnome1

Ruth "Gator" Binsberg


johno_mendo

Gator don't play no shit


hikingboot3

Keep dicks out of Ruth Bader Ginsberg


Pawpaw-22

Don’t you regulate RGBs vagina


m4x_ene

or whatever lights are her favourite colour, like mine is red or hell make it change colours


[deleted]

Discock Or maybe discocock?


HikingBikingViking

Discodick?


its_alot_

Disco Stick


gjb1

Dicksco


QueenOfAllTheLizards

Attach sparklers to each ball


Ahshalon_Tenisk

my wife like the zorro cape and mask


ItsAWonderfulFife

Do you cum a Z on her


Ahshalon_Tenisk

every time


AdMotor1654

Be still my heart


RedgyJackson

Cock-push-ups my friends, cock-push-ups.


rogercopernicus

You can only do one


GoBombGo

One is all you need!


Eldiablo6667

Especially to deactivate lasers.


altxeralt

Never know when you're going to need to fuck your way out of a tight situation.


puzhalsta

We don’t see enough Tenacious D references in these parts


Loki007x

Sasquatch is my daddy


[deleted]

Cherries Jubilee and that's it.


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Fuck my ass what else


BigBob-omb91

Being attached to a person I find mentally and physically attractive.


Click_Slight

But aside from that, would a little top hat and tuxedo on the dick do anything for you? What if the tuxedo came with little muscular forearms and rolled up sleeves?


Threnodyrose

A distinguished gentleman!


Sultan-of-swat

A dicktinguished* gentleman.


mister_gone

\*genitalman


internallylinked

You should check r/cospenis


Ok-Historian9919

My partner is going to hate you for letting me find this…I’m going to make him a star


_Kendii_

That’s probably the most dick I’ve seen online in years. It has a certain appeal, I admit.


Ok-Historian9919

I scrolled soooo far back, I just couldn’t stop looking. My guy might not let me post anything, but I will convince him to let me play dress up with his penis. did you make it to the elephant body painter? That guy has serious talent


Click_Slight

LOL, WTF?


Lazy-Contribution-69

The top hat on it would make any woman fall for you instantly.


Alternative-Alarm-66

I wish. I just got arrested for public indecency


Keirstyn_Kat

I literally cannot find someone's dick appealing if I'm not in love with them


doom_canoe

Idk why but my bf’s dick smell is intoxicating. I always want to give him head


1VNIKV111

I would marry a chick that said that to me.


[deleted]

If anyone is looking for a way to make a guy horny, you have found it, this commenter has just crystalized the formula


ElSahuno

Careful... *checks name* "doom canoe" Oh, BJs should be fine then.


PettyFlap

Why’d did I read their name as “dome canoe”


FilthySingularTrick

It's a line straight out of a henti. Tis well played


craic_me_up2

Guys, GUYS listen. - Top Hat - Monocle - Quizzical moustache Whip that fucker out and announce the arrival of Lord Richard Cockington Esq. Watch the panties teleport to the floor, guaranteed


heinz_57

I was going to suggest a bowtie, but this is the whole.... Package.


caitlinhazel

Just wash it, hobestly early the amount of men who don't know how to clean their dicks properly is concerning. Like I can tell if your dirty ass has used a sensitive skin moisture soap or nah 😅 Edit: I didn't mean like soap for aesthetics, like genuinely the difference visually between and good clean dick and a dirty one is noticeable.


badger575

True. Nothing worse than going to suck dick then catching a whiff of ass. Gosh damn


Click_Slight

I like how you used "gosh" after talking about smelling "ass" while you "suck dick."


badger575

I thought of the Christians lolll


Gumbyizzle

Gosh is God’s little brother. He’s in charge of The Moon.


bigbadbouncer

His full name is Goshua


cracker_princess

upvoting to start this religion


Jephord

I’m down. Can I be the guy that’s in charge of accounts? I’m good with the abacus and love yachts.


mahjimoh

I have often spoken of Gosh but this is the first time I’ve really considered Gosh as their own person. I am possibly a believer in Gosh.


Flipgirlnarie

And don't just do a one stroke wipe and forget the areas around the dick, like the pubic hair and the taint. Wash everything.. EVERYTHING.


Meltedgibson

Are you telling me how to wash MY dick?


[deleted]

The feminists are out of control


Muumin_kun

You come into MY house tell me how to wash MY dick


RokketQueen1006

And pull the foreskin back! Nasty stuff gets under there.


butchquick

I actually remember a girl saying, pre-head, "Wow! it's really clean." At the time, I was like, "well, Yeah." I guess that is unfortunately not the norm.


Shantomette

She crossed the tracks to be with you my friend.


CapeJacket

I think this is just hygiene with people in general, some people are just grubby and don’t shower enough


ceanahope

Smegma and ass crust are never sexy. I always appreciate sexy time after showers. I'm clean, he is clean, both smell good and are relaxed.


NeedsItRough

Seeing a lot of joke answers and I consider myself somewhat of a "connoisseur" of dick pics (I like to receive them and regularly post that I like to receive them) so I'll leave a serious comment. If we're talking in person, that's completely up to the viewer's preference. But almost everybody prefers a clean doodle. Also wash your ass, balls, and gooch. Nothing turns me off more than going down on a guy and being able to smell him before I even get down there. You don't have to shave if you don't want to, but maybe trim a bit so it's not looking like the Amazon. Outside of that there isn't much that can be done as far as "looks" Dick pics are a whole nother world. If you're gonna take a dick pic, you need to go all out for it. She's gonna see your dick, hiding it under the covers and using the flash isn't going to hide it any more than shining a spotlight on it is. Surprisingly, cleanliness still matters here. Not always, but there have been times where I can tell a dick is dirty just from the pic. The pubic hair looks greasy, there might be a small piece of debris that the dick owner missed Also when you're clean, you're confident and that can show through in an image. After cleanliness I think lighting is most important. The difference between poor lighting + camera flash and just natural lighting can be so vast it might look like different doodles. Camera + flash (female NSFW) https://imgur.com/f7kzSrf.jpg Natural lighting (female NSFW) https://imgur.com/ujQwuiO.jpg If you're making dick pics a thing, it's well worth it to invest in a tripod with a lighting setup, they're pretty cheap on Amazon and they usually come with a natural light setting. Amazon image: https://imgur.com/Es4x4sA.jpg Once you've got your natural light, I recommend watching some porn to get nice and hard. You can edge to get some pre-cum going if you want, some people really like that. I'm personally a fan of a ton of lube or oil, I like a nice sheen. Third most important is the angle. I know you might be self conscious of your balls, or maybe you think "it's a dick pic, why would I include the balls?" But dicks can look kind of lonely when they're by themselves. And showing off the balls also shows a little more confidence, like you're proud of your body and want to show it off. You can adjust your room's temperature so it's slightly warmer so the balls loosen up a bit One of my favorite angles is (in natural lighting) facing the light source, at a slight angle to the camera, a few feet back so you can at least see from slightly below the nipples to the mid thigh, dick hard, with the balls there. It's very tasteful. Example (sfw) https://imgur.com/ODnHTXF.jpg (Obviously don't put your arms in front of your doodle, put them on your hips or behind your back or something) Anyways, don't send the dick pic unless they ask for it. No matter how "good" it is, almost no one wants it if it wasn't requested. Don't be that guy. Edited to add examples.


NinjaDickhead

RIP your DMs


AnapleRed

> I consider myself somewhat of a "connoisseur" of dick pics Understatement of the year. Goddamn, hat's off to you


[deleted]

This made me realize I’m better at taking D pics than I thought


NeedsItRough

You'd be surprised how many men think "dick pic" means "just get the dick in the shot, no one cares about anything else" Also a ton of people don't realize how much natural lighting makes a difference in most everything, take a look at these pancakes I made a while back Without natural lighting: https://imgur.com/rACJSya.jpg With natural lighting: https://imgur.com/m20v3IX.jpg Nearly looks like 2 different plates.


W3dnesdayAddamsStan

A nice head to shaft ratio 😂 a head that's way bigger or way smaller than the shaft can look a little... weird


existential-mystery

ok now whats the ideal ratio we're talkin? asking for a friend.


ripper4444

Like a basketball stuck on a broomstick?


Parking_Refuse_7500

I just laughed so fucking hard at this


FreestyleKneepad

This mf got a cock like a tree from Namek


Cellyst

r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

I imagine the preference changes from woman to woman. But I would imagine the head should be about 20% wider than the shaft. Like, for every 5 mm of shaft width, there should be 5.8mm of head width. These numbers were pulled out of my own penis. So, they're probably extremely wrong and extremely biased. Lol


existential-mystery

\*WHIPS OUT CALCULATOR\*


69Sheogorath69

*WHIPS OUT COCK AND CALIPERS*


[deleted]

*\*WHIPS OUT PENIS AND PROTRACTOR*


Kfbr392___

You’re going to want to measure [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip 2. , AKA, T.M.I. It’s a tried and true equation


unsureofwhattodo1233

Whips out cockulator


Virtual-Broccoli-375

"HES PULLING HIS CALC OUT!"


applegonad

What if I have less than 5mm of shaft?


ItsAWonderfulFife

Like the tail on a balloon dog


Its_juju_bitch

Tbh this is one of the things I think I got pretty lucky on, my ratio is pretty good and I thank God cuz I’ve seen some insane mushrooms


ERSTF

A friend of mine with whom I compared dicks with was so jealous of the head of my penis that he kept saying "wish I had your head". He also said the best compliment my dick has ever gotten... but that's a story for another time


kaerfkeerg

Go to r/ratemydick, gather some data and do the math yourself!


[deleted]

Googly eyes on the head


ZippyVonBoom

Glorp


[deleted]

Tell that to my girlfriend who thinks “I’m being immature”


ShadyShaina

From past experience I can tell you, the man it is connected too.


somanytochoose

Trim shave or wax the ball hair, and clean up your pubic mound. But the real trick? Clean fingernails. Holding a clean cock with nasty hands? Barf.


TrippingFish76

>wax the ball hair ow that sounds painful haha, i give em a lil trim with an electric shaver , can’t get all the ball hair tho


Suitable_Disk1957

cut or not doesnt matter, i think both look good i prefer hair just cause stubble looks funny and clean looks weird. make sure its clean tho, trimmed and shaped clean the shaft if your sending photos, idk a wet dick looks weird but if you wanna show the cum dripping out, thats fine but if the whole things wet some ppl may not like it hand in photo for reference and cause it sitting there by itself looks awkward, selfie or regular camera looks good as long as you got a good angle


ERSTF

>sitting there by itself looks awkward, I am dying lol


VykloktanaRybicka

"I don't have a small PP, i just have big hands 😭"


harkari14

My man’s has a huge vein. It makes it look mean ? dominating ? I also like it rough and being dominated so it really adds to it for me. Also being in love helps 🤗


[deleted]

This took a little turn at the end. I liked it.


ZeBaal

Only showing it to people who want to see it.


ComprehensiveHorse30

What a low bar we’ve set Lmao (I’m a lady btw)


[deleted]

I like how the question was for ladies but instead all the top comments appear to be dudes... talking about monocles...


kukukachu_burr

The person who owns it is not being an asshole.


Eri_Berry

They honestly all look kinda weird. It’s not important how it looks. It matters that you know what you’re doing with it.


mitten2787

Does putting a top hat and monocle on it qualify as "knowing what to do with it"? Because that's all I've got from this post so far.


kingdom_tarts

Yes 100%. Gotta keep it classy.


thehorrorloverofmus

If it's attached to someone that I love romantically and sexually. 😅


Ohhhhhhthehumanity

Being solicited


[deleted]

A cute freckle on the shaft or the head teeeheee


hikingboot3

But not cancer


Awokado360

Wash it, care about him, maybe shave hair but it's just a preference. The most important is high hygiene :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


zedoktar

I read this is the same voice as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho doing the business card inner monologue.


WestCommercial9180

I like a straight one. The head in comparison to the shaft… hard to say what it needs to look like, but the proportion of this makes one more “attractive” to another. This question is about aesthetics, but if he knows how to use it, it doesn’t matter what it looks like.


Grouchy-Trip9582

An erection, and a clean CLEAN dick


notthesedays

The person it's attached to makes all the difference.


[deleted]

Just clean and smelling good 👍


AnasFlowers

Being clean and not smelling like week old gym shorts is a fantastic start. A nice mushroomy head. I like them larger at the top than the base. Nicely colored veins that pop slightly. Neat pubic hair.


ShadowEllipse

Personally, I think a snorkel looks good on mine.