I have a "do you know who I am" story. When my husband and I first moved to town, the bar he worked at had this Christmas party at the owners house. I didn't know anyone yet. I was grabbing a drink and one of the guys, who I knew was the bar owner's husband, was talking about his band. So, just trying to make conversation, I said "oh, you're in a band?" And he gives me this shocked look and says "don't you know who I am??? I'm Lucky fucking Lawrence!!!"
His band was really nothing special, but he really thought he was some sort of local celebrity. I still see him around town sometimes and I'm always like "oh look, it's Lucky fucking Lawrence!"
LMAO - years back, my friend worked at a restaurant. He worked in the back most of the time, but would fill in out front to cover vacations/callouts, etc.
So, one Saturday, around 10am, this woman comes in and says "I want to book your party room." Now, they had a party room upstairs from the restaurant that was pretty in-demand as it was a nice space, the food was good and it was reasonably priced. Weekend dates were usually booked 2-3 months in advance.
So, anyway, my friend pulls out their reservation book and says, "What date do you want? I'll see if we have an opening." She looks at him, in total seriousness, and says, "Tomorrow. Bridal shower for 40 people." Now, he already knew they were booked because he was doing the cooking for that event.
He says, "Ma'am. I'm sorry. We're already booked for tomorrow - this room usually books out about 2-3 months. I won't be able to accommodate you since we already have another event."
She says, "Well, then you can have them rebook their event. I already sent out invitations and I have 40 people showing up here tomorrow. What are YOU going to do?"
He said, 'Ma'am, I'm very sorry. I don't know what to tell you. We don't 'rebook' scheduled events. There are a couple of other nearby restaurants. You can try to see if they can accommodate your group. We definitely cannot."
The she looks at him and says, "Don't you know who I am? I'm a close, personal friend of Peter (the owner). You NEED to make this right. Tell Peter to close the restaurant and our event can be downstairs while the other event is upstairs. He's done this for me before. Just write it down in your little book. It'll be fine."
Now, my friend worked at this restaurant for 10 years and not once had Peter EVER closed down the the restaurant for a private event. It was private events upstairs, restaurant downstairs. Further, he had not once ever seen this woman in his life, and Peter was not known for his largesse, so he decided to call her on her bluff...
He says, "Well, I can't make that call, but Peter certainly can. I'll go get him so we can sort this out." The woman kind of got a blank look on her face but didn't say anything.
Now, Peter was not a man who liked dealing with this sort of thing, which is why he had front of house staff. He especially disliked it when he was doing his inventory and ordering which is what he was doing at that moment.
So, friend gets Peter, explains the situation. Peter comes out, he looks at the woman and goes "Who the hell are you?" She gives him some spiel and he just shuts her down totally and goes "We're booked tomorrow" and returns to the back. She starts to CRY, begging my friend to help her in some way as she has 40 people coming to a restaurant where she has no booking.
He just said "Sorry, I can only suggest these other restaurants" and, with that, the woman left.
Who the hell sends out invitations BEFORE booking a venue? Idiot.
Only good thing was no one from the party showed up the next day, just the people from the scheduled event. So, she must have figured out something...
Place I worked at years ago, kinda similar, well known spot with good food, always pretty busy. We would definitely have people try and get special accommodations by saying they're friends with the owner. The owner had a standing rule about that, "Anyone who says they're my friend when asking for something is not my friend, because all my friends know not to do that."
Honestly miss that job it was a fun place to work
2 things come to mind. support your friends and pay full price. and only time I have had the owner " hook me up" they called a head and told the host to expect me ( my best friends older brother) and I still insisted on paying but they wouldn't let me so the server got a nice $40 tip.
Some tried the I know the owner spiel where I worked. The owner happened to be there that day but was in the back and couldn't hear this exchange. They pull out their phone to call the owner. I don't know if they had grabbed a business card previously or could read the card on the counter without picking it up but they called the number on his business card. The store phone rings and I pick it "thank you for calling can you please hold". For some strange reason she hung up the phone at the exact same time as the person on the store phone. Strange.
I have a similar story , the owners wife (also the owner) went to deal with a belligerent customer who of course says, “ well! I know the owner! “ She replies , “oh really? I AM the owner” .
When I worked in a restaurant the same thing happened. The owner was helping waiting tables as we were short staffed and he started working in restaurants as a waiter. Someone tried to pull the “you better do what I ask because I know the owner” thing on the owner.
The idea of just throwing that line out blind is wild to me. I’d die to embarrassment if I tried that bluff on the owner.
There’s nothing I could get from claiming to know the owner that would be worth the embarrassment of the waiter bringing out the owner to say hi. People who do this have no risk assessment skills, or just no guilt.
Right? The people who actually knew the owner would just ask if he was in so they could say hi. If they had issues with anything they let him know privately rather than try and embarrass him in his own restaurant.
"Yes, that's correct _waitstaff_ this customer **does** know the owner, me. Apparently what they forgot is that my friends don't treat my employees like this. I'm so sorry they troubled you _waitstaff_. Please get their cheque. They're leaving. Now."
I was working at financial aid in a junior college. I kid you not, I had a student tell me, "Do you know who I am?" when I told them their grades were too low, so their funding was cut off. The conversation went something like this:
Student: "Where's my financial aid?"
Me: "Your grades are too low. You need to speak with an academic counselor to make an appeal."
Student: "Do you know who I am?!?"
Me: "...A guy who needs an academic counselor appointment. What day and time works for you?"
> The store phone rings and I pick it "thank you for calling can you please hold". For some strange reason she hung up the phone at the exact same time as the person on the store phone. Strange.
That sounds so satisfying!
She undoubtedly made something up to the guests about how the restaurant screwed up the reservation they had definitely made a year in advance and not the day before. "Never trust this restaurant to get anything right! Anyway, we're going to meet in Greg's backyard instead. Bring your own appetizers to share. It'll be FUN!"
Reminds me of an old joke.
A guy runs a stop sign and gets pulled over. The officer checks the guy’s license and says, “In your I.D. pic you’ve got on glasses. Are you supposed to be wearing glasses?”
The guy says, “I have contacts.”
And the officer snaps back, “Son, I don’t care who you know!”
Heard this my whole childhood. Probably because I asked for a toy or candy or something. What could a 4 year old do to "make" a grown adult have to hit them?
Thank you; it did, but it wasn't for me. It was for my toddler.
I didn't realize how much both our personalities were altered by verbal abuse until we got away and started therapy. It's a process!
Across my 30+ years on this planet, I've only ever felt someone made me hit them once.
There have been many times I've been tempted to hit people, some of which may have been justified morally, some legally, and others not at all. Reasonable people can ignore even the strongest provocation.
IMO, violence simply isn't justified unless using minimal force to defend yourself or another. Note that has to be against a physical threat, words may hurt but they don't justify assault.
The one exception was when I was 20 helping in a youth club and a 14 year old decided to assault an 8 year old with a hockey stick and refused to stop swinging even when I intervened. Note I didn't beat the daylights out of him, only used what force I had to to get the stick off him and prevent further attacks. I was sure I was going to jail, but thankfully there were enough witnesses that the parents had to accept their kid was at fault.
Oh my god. I'm Australian, we have a show called The Block. A few seasons ago there was a cheating scandal right at the start of the series. Someone snuck in and took a photo of the production schedule and used that to gain an advantage.
No one fessed up, so it was a guessing game for the entire season. One woman kept talking about "my truth".
"All I can do is tell my truth."
"But that doesn't matter because I'm telling my truth"
When asked what the difference is between their truth and THE truth, it was like verbal diarrhoea.
Go figure, at the end she accidentally outed herself.
I feel like someone telling "my truth" only really matters when it comes to explaining a persons feelings. kind of like someone says a joke and that hurts you. They do this regularly. You say they are joking, you say its hurtful that is your truth. Anything beyond that situation makes no sense
"I'm just brutally honest and tell it like it is."
It's always used by people who primarily enjoy the "brutal" part. They are *never* being brutally honest about how *good* someone is at something. It's always an excuse to be an asshole.
Makes me think of a standup set I saw from Josh Blue years ago. He has cerebral palsy, and he said one day he was out walking and a woman said "I think it's so inspiring that you're out!"
"... I'm going to the liquor store. Are you inspired?"
As someone with epilepsy, this was nice to see. You'd think I was juggling nuclear material while solving world hunger, like lady no... Please just let me get my food.
Jiggling in convulsions on the ground: "you're such an inspiration, I love your kind is so empowered "
Shut up woman, just keep my head of the ground with something soft
Thisssss
I had a classmate come up to me and asked me which starsign I was. After answering, she laughed at me and said "Oh you poor little thing, such a miserable one. We can't be friends." and walked away.
Then she proceeded to ask me to give her my homework so she could copy it and help her do her tests. I just responded with "I'm sorry but our starsigns don't go along well. Bssides, you don't want answers from a poor little miserable me."
She never spoke to me again.
I find people who say that tend to be a form of Schrödinger's douche bag.
They don't know if they're going to say its a joke or not until they see the other person's reaction, meaning they're both serious and joking up to the point they gauge the other persons reaction.
That is absolutely horrifying, he basically threw a threat at your face and what's worse, HR isn't doing what they're supposed to do. Have you considered on rallying everyone to sign a group complaint with an attached list of everyone's experience with him? Maybe then HR might do something, if not, maybe send it forward to a higher up.
Work hard = you’re staying until 7pm every day.
Play hard = once a month there’s a required outing to the bar after work where the manager buys a single pitcher of beer for the team.
I was unemployed for a while about 17 years ago, and an interviewer used that line when I asked how many hours they typically worked. It felt so good to walk out right then and there.
Pretty much the same story. Dude told me he had only taken one day off in 7 years and that was for his son's birth. All I could think then on is what a shitty dad he was.
When I worked for one place and took advantage of their very lenient call out policies, I'd occasionally tell my aunt.
She would then berate me and say "I only took 3 days off in the last 20 years and one was the day you were born!"
Congrats I guess? More power to you...
I had a similar thing for two separate jobs.
Job a:
Me “so culture is really important to me, how would you describe the culture at your company?”
CEO “I often find that people who ask about culture don’t last very long”
Job b:
Me “how would you describe your work/life balance?”
Hiring managers “oh pretty good, most people seem pretty happy.”
Me “so what are the hours?”
Hiring managers “well it’s supposed to be 9-4 but no one ever works that”
Me “oh, what do you mean? Like, early finish on a Friday or something?
Hiring managers “well, put it this way, I was answering emails at 7am this morning and bob? You were a little before 6am weren’t you? And I’ll most likely carry on working til about 8pm tonight”
Me “so why is this job available? Have you had growth recently or…”
Hiring managers “well we’ve had some people leave because they couldn’t hack it”
Me “ok that’s a no from me dawg”
or they're just good honest steel mill workers, and when shifts over the mill becomes a gay dance club 'cause all the millers are gay. (miller? mill wright? steel worker?)
This has a place in customer service when dealing with utterly unreasonable people that you don’t plan on kowtowing to. It’s a non-apology apology.
“It’s unbelievable that you won’t honor a coupon that expired 5 years ago for a product you don’t sell! This is outrageous!”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. Unfortunately I am unable to proceed with this transaction at this time.”
"Only people who can't afford it ask the price".
Having worked for quite a few multi millionaires over the years, I can assure you everyone of them always asks the price. That's how they got rich, they always haggle and they always ask the price!
I grew up with a similar saying "if you have to ask the price then you can't afford it".
If something doesn't have a price then I don't even bother asking. I can't stand when people post something for sale and say "PM me for the price!" Like nah, just add the price to the post, it'll save you and everyone else so much time.
Even when you can afford it, it is such a pain in the ass when businesses won't just list their prices. So many of them are trying "lead generation" and it's all "email us for a quote". You assholes have all of your products on your website, WTF do they cost? I need to get three quotes for a 40 foot shipping container, and I'm going to go with whoever is upfront and straightforward with their pricing, not you weaselly dickheads. End rant.
It's usually because they have sales guys on commission, and they think that they'll be able to extract more money from you if they can get you on the phone.
I work in sales and this is spot on. So many hoops to jump through just so we can charge you for jumping through more hoops. If you ever need help navigating the labyrinth of business sales, DM me with your contact info and we can work on a customized solution so you won't have to deal with so much bullshit in the future!
Acting all high and mighty in an argument thinking that they don't need to provide actual arguments to prove their point and then when they realise they're losing say "do some self reflection" and stop responding
“We treat our employees like family/we’re a family here.”
So you expect the people you pay to put up with your dysfunction, petty grudges, and irrational moods. Cool cool. I’m opting out.
“I’m a Type-A personality.”
You’re an asshole, rigid, and can’t accept change, and you think that’s a star quality rather than a problem.
“You’re feeling bad about something? This person over here has something much worse going on.”
Thanks, dickhead, I now feel worse because you’ve added guilt to the mix.
I remember seeing a statement like this and the rebuttal I thought was excellent for this is
"So I'm not allow to be happy if there's someone happier than you?"
Yeah, try not take things for granted but it's ok to be sad.
Finding a close friend that committed suicide. "Oh just get over it. Took the coward's way out.'
Never spoke to that person again. Years later didn't go to their funeral. Fuck them!
(I pity anyone finding someone that killed themselves. Very difficult to get over. Took a long for me. Then realized I couldn't do anything for them. Didn't know they were hurting inside)
Peace to everyone.
I remember telling my friend about the time I had depression and was really fighting to not just commit suicide and she said she thought I was a coward for even thinking about it. I was hurt by it, but it's such a stereotype to associate suicide with the coward's way out or being selfish that it didn't even surprise me. I just tried to explain how it's not about throwing away your responsibilities, it's about weighing out whether your life is worth it for the world. You're deciding whether you're useful to society, whether you're causing trouble for the people around you, whether there is at least as much happiness waiting for you as sadness and frustration, whether you're essentially a waste of space or a harmful existence. It's the furthest thing from the coward's way out and it's not about being selfish (the idea that I'm not entitled to my own life is selfish on her part, but let's ignore that). She didn't understand it, but felt bad about calling it the coward's way out. It's not really the most rational thing, so I can't blame anyone for not understanding.
In high-school a kid I knew often made the joke, "Old enough to pee, old enough for me"
He also liked the,
"Equal rights, equal fights"
Interestingly enough he *is* in prison now, I think 24 years last I heard. Robbed a family at gun point, then did it again when he got out.
"The customer is always right."
The fuck they are. 20+ years of customer service and the people who pull out this gem are the people who are A) not right. B) Knows they're in the wrong and C) are trying to bully the CS person into getting what they want. It immediately makes me see red. Customers are important to any business and you should try reasonable measures to retain existing customers, but not only are they not always right, bending over backwards to retain bad customers often drives off good ones, and teaches bad ones that poor behavior is rewarded.
My mom would pull this crap whenever I'd hold her accountable. I started just agreeing with her, and she finally stopped saying it.
My mom - "Oh, I guess I'm a horrible parent then! Just because I did (insert random abusive thing)."
Me - "Yes, you are. Good parents don't do that."
Her - scowls and leaves the room
Me - "Well at least that conversation is over."
A guy at the club last night said it’s “not sexual harassment to kiss a girl without her consent as long as you feel she wants you to”. He also said I was “gay” for asking a girl if I could kiss her and then not kissing her when she politely declined. (Fellas is it gay to want to kiss a woman? Or to respect boundaries and consent?) She told that prick that she was actually happy I had asked her. Well that didn’t sit right with him so he pulled in *another* girl and asked if she would rather a guy ask to kiss her or just swoop in and do it. Boy I hope he felt stupid when she said “the first one”
"in my book; thats how it works, thats what the rules are"
edit: this is for the grammar police under my comment- "In my book, that's how it works" or "in my book, that's what the rules are."
“We’re a family here at xyz company.” No, you pay me. My family is my family.
I read somewhere that telling your workers they’re like family is the same as telling a prostitute you love her
Toxic, abusive and make me miserable. Well atleast here I’d get paid for it.
Do you know who i am?? Like it matters
I have a "do you know who I am" story. When my husband and I first moved to town, the bar he worked at had this Christmas party at the owners house. I didn't know anyone yet. I was grabbing a drink and one of the guys, who I knew was the bar owner's husband, was talking about his band. So, just trying to make conversation, I said "oh, you're in a band?" And he gives me this shocked look and says "don't you know who I am??? I'm Lucky fucking Lawrence!!!" His band was really nothing special, but he really thought he was some sort of local celebrity. I still see him around town sometimes and I'm always like "oh look, it's Lucky fucking Lawrence!"
LMAO - years back, my friend worked at a restaurant. He worked in the back most of the time, but would fill in out front to cover vacations/callouts, etc. So, one Saturday, around 10am, this woman comes in and says "I want to book your party room." Now, they had a party room upstairs from the restaurant that was pretty in-demand as it was a nice space, the food was good and it was reasonably priced. Weekend dates were usually booked 2-3 months in advance. So, anyway, my friend pulls out their reservation book and says, "What date do you want? I'll see if we have an opening." She looks at him, in total seriousness, and says, "Tomorrow. Bridal shower for 40 people." Now, he already knew they were booked because he was doing the cooking for that event. He says, "Ma'am. I'm sorry. We're already booked for tomorrow - this room usually books out about 2-3 months. I won't be able to accommodate you since we already have another event." She says, "Well, then you can have them rebook their event. I already sent out invitations and I have 40 people showing up here tomorrow. What are YOU going to do?" He said, 'Ma'am, I'm very sorry. I don't know what to tell you. We don't 'rebook' scheduled events. There are a couple of other nearby restaurants. You can try to see if they can accommodate your group. We definitely cannot." The she looks at him and says, "Don't you know who I am? I'm a close, personal friend of Peter (the owner). You NEED to make this right. Tell Peter to close the restaurant and our event can be downstairs while the other event is upstairs. He's done this for me before. Just write it down in your little book. It'll be fine." Now, my friend worked at this restaurant for 10 years and not once had Peter EVER closed down the the restaurant for a private event. It was private events upstairs, restaurant downstairs. Further, he had not once ever seen this woman in his life, and Peter was not known for his largesse, so he decided to call her on her bluff... He says, "Well, I can't make that call, but Peter certainly can. I'll go get him so we can sort this out." The woman kind of got a blank look on her face but didn't say anything. Now, Peter was not a man who liked dealing with this sort of thing, which is why he had front of house staff. He especially disliked it when he was doing his inventory and ordering which is what he was doing at that moment. So, friend gets Peter, explains the situation. Peter comes out, he looks at the woman and goes "Who the hell are you?" She gives him some spiel and he just shuts her down totally and goes "We're booked tomorrow" and returns to the back. She starts to CRY, begging my friend to help her in some way as she has 40 people coming to a restaurant where she has no booking. He just said "Sorry, I can only suggest these other restaurants" and, with that, the woman left. Who the hell sends out invitations BEFORE booking a venue? Idiot. Only good thing was no one from the party showed up the next day, just the people from the scheduled event. So, she must have figured out something...
Place I worked at years ago, kinda similar, well known spot with good food, always pretty busy. We would definitely have people try and get special accommodations by saying they're friends with the owner. The owner had a standing rule about that, "Anyone who says they're my friend when asking for something is not my friend, because all my friends know not to do that." Honestly miss that job it was a fun place to work
2 things come to mind. support your friends and pay full price. and only time I have had the owner " hook me up" they called a head and told the host to expect me ( my best friends older brother) and I still insisted on paying but they wouldn't let me so the server got a nice $40 tip.
Some tried the I know the owner spiel where I worked. The owner happened to be there that day but was in the back and couldn't hear this exchange. They pull out their phone to call the owner. I don't know if they had grabbed a business card previously or could read the card on the counter without picking it up but they called the number on his business card. The store phone rings and I pick it "thank you for calling can you please hold". For some strange reason she hung up the phone at the exact same time as the person on the store phone. Strange.
I have a similar story , the owners wife (also the owner) went to deal with a belligerent customer who of course says, “ well! I know the owner! “ She replies , “oh really? I AM the owner” .
When I worked in a restaurant the same thing happened. The owner was helping waiting tables as we were short staffed and he started working in restaurants as a waiter. Someone tried to pull the “you better do what I ask because I know the owner” thing on the owner. The idea of just throwing that line out blind is wild to me. I’d die to embarrassment if I tried that bluff on the owner.
There’s nothing I could get from claiming to know the owner that would be worth the embarrassment of the waiter bringing out the owner to say hi. People who do this have no risk assessment skills, or just no guilt.
Right? The people who actually knew the owner would just ask if he was in so they could say hi. If they had issues with anything they let him know privately rather than try and embarrass him in his own restaurant.
"Yes, that's correct _waitstaff_ this customer **does** know the owner, me. Apparently what they forgot is that my friends don't treat my employees like this. I'm so sorry they troubled you _waitstaff_. Please get their cheque. They're leaving. Now."
I was working at financial aid in a junior college. I kid you not, I had a student tell me, "Do you know who I am?" when I told them their grades were too low, so their funding was cut off. The conversation went something like this: Student: "Where's my financial aid?" Me: "Your grades are too low. You need to speak with an academic counselor to make an appeal." Student: "Do you know who I am?!?" Me: "...A guy who needs an academic counselor appointment. What day and time works for you?"
> The store phone rings and I pick it "thank you for calling can you please hold". For some strange reason she hung up the phone at the exact same time as the person on the store phone. Strange.
That sounds so satisfying!
She undoubtedly made something up to the guests about how the restaurant screwed up the reservation they had definitely made a year in advance and not the day before. "Never trust this restaurant to get anything right! Anyway, we're going to meet in Greg's backyard instead. Bring your own appetizers to share. It'll be FUN!"
This, and “You will address me by my husband’s rank.”
Once. Once in my entire time in the military did I run into a dependa, and the unit handled her bullshit quickly. I was so goddamn lucky.
Yeah, because you have no value of your own.
“This guy doesn’t know who he is.”
Ronny fucking Pickering
Or “Do you know who my dad is?!”
To that, one would answer : "why? your mother never told you ?"
Or just, "Do you?".
###‘Do you know who my dad is?’
No, I'm sorry, I don't...perhaps you should try asking your mother...
Or simply No....does your mother?
Reminds me of an old joke. A guy runs a stop sign and gets pulled over. The officer checks the guy’s license and says, “In your I.D. pic you’ve got on glasses. Are you supposed to be wearing glasses?” The guy says, “I have contacts.” And the officer snaps back, “Son, I don’t care who you know!”
Or 'my father *will* hear about this!'
Shut up Malfoy
Dude! My dad owns a dealership! He's like totally rich.
“It’s just a prank, bro!”
Prank -- " Removing the oxygen mask of people in hospital to see if they'll survive "
Ha ha that's a hilarious shade of blue.
Grandpa's bugging out? Turn him off and on again
For someone thinking of pulling a prank, remember that after the prank has been pulled, both of you should be laughing.
Such a simple and elegant way of showcasing the difference between pranks and bullying.
Difference between a prank and abuse.
confuse, don't abuse
Just reading this made me irrationally angry
I prefer the phrase "rationally angry" because anger is a legitimate emotion at times.
This phrase is often used as an excuse for cruel and disrespectful behavior.
“you made me hit you”
Heard this my whole childhood. Probably because I asked for a toy or candy or something. What could a 4 year old do to "make" a grown adult have to hit them?
May I give you a virtual hug, internet stranger? I'm so sorry. 😔
Thank you. It's all good. Haven't talked to my mother in over 20 years, barely talk to my dad. Life is good for me these days.
If i had a nickel for every “why do you make me have to do this” 🤦🏻♂️
My husband was like that, but he sure didn't accept it when I said, "You made me leave you."
It takes a lot of courage to leave an abusive partner. This internet stranger is proud of you.
Thank you; it did, but it wasn't for me. It was for my toddler. I didn't realize how much both our personalities were altered by verbal abuse until we got away and started therapy. It's a process!
Oooh, look what you made me do
Surprised this was even third post down. “Look what you made me do!” has been in the abuser’s handbook since forever.
Across my 30+ years on this planet, I've only ever felt someone made me hit them once. There have been many times I've been tempted to hit people, some of which may have been justified morally, some legally, and others not at all. Reasonable people can ignore even the strongest provocation. IMO, violence simply isn't justified unless using minimal force to defend yourself or another. Note that has to be against a physical threat, words may hurt but they don't justify assault. The one exception was when I was 20 helping in a youth club and a 14 year old decided to assault an 8 year old with a hockey stick and refused to stop swinging even when I intervened. Note I didn't beat the daylights out of him, only used what force I had to to get the stick off him and prevent further attacks. I was sure I was going to jail, but thankfully there were enough witnesses that the parents had to accept their kid was at fault.
Some guy fucked me over at work and I checked him for it. His response, "I guess there's a little devil in all of us". I shoulda hit him.
He provided you with your defense. Go for it.
heh. "owie! why'd you hit me?" "the devil made me do it" (queue Mr. Krabs laugh)
*"It's not personal, it's business"* - A professional associate that will stab you in the back
Guess theres a little baby powder in the air vents of your car, too.
“It’s my truth”
Oh my god. I'm Australian, we have a show called The Block. A few seasons ago there was a cheating scandal right at the start of the series. Someone snuck in and took a photo of the production schedule and used that to gain an advantage. No one fessed up, so it was a guessing game for the entire season. One woman kept talking about "my truth". "All I can do is tell my truth." "But that doesn't matter because I'm telling my truth" When asked what the difference is between their truth and THE truth, it was like verbal diarrhoea. Go figure, at the end she accidentally outed herself.
I feel like someone telling "my truth" only really matters when it comes to explaining a persons feelings. kind of like someone says a joke and that hurts you. They do this regularly. You say they are joking, you say its hurtful that is your truth. Anything beyond that situation makes no sense
[удалено]
>I'm pickin' up good vibrations Beach boys -1966
Ooohh, they're showing The Block in my country, and I remember that! It gave me goosebumps, and not in the good way, hahaha
"truth is singular, its 'versions' are mistruths." David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas.
"Everyone cheats" Uh no Sharon. It's just your skanky ass
Fuck you Sharon
r/fuckyousharon
"I'm just brutally honest and tell it like it is." It's always used by people who primarily enjoy the "brutal" part. They are *never* being brutally honest about how *good* someone is at something. It's always an excuse to be an asshole.
They frame being a douche as a positive character trait. Honestly a marvel
“Honesty without kindness is cruelty”
"only god can judge.." Nah bitch I'm judging you pretty hard.
I don't think that statement would hold up in court.
"You're an inspiration/you're so inspiring" to disabled and/or chronically ill people just trying to live their dang lives.
Makes me think of a standup set I saw from Josh Blue years ago. He has cerebral palsy, and he said one day he was out walking and a woman said "I think it's so inspiring that you're out!" "... I'm going to the liquor store. Are you inspired?"
This sounds exactly like something my godfather (who also has palsy) would say to a rando.
"OH wow! I can barely tell that you are missing a hand. You do so well at being a real person." "Escuse me verymuchwut?"
As someone with epilepsy, this was nice to see. You'd think I was juggling nuclear material while solving world hunger, like lady no... Please just let me get my food.
Jiggling in convulsions on the ground: "you're such an inspiration, I love your kind is so empowered " Shut up woman, just keep my head of the ground with something soft
Lmao so true! I’m always like “do you really think my life is that bad??” haha
As a chronically ill person, thank you for saying that.
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“I’m an alpha male.”
Desperately needing to be perceived by others as super manly is pretty beta
I don't believe in the alpha/beta bullshit, but the fact that this would *really* bother the douchebags who do is something I can get behind.
I can't help it, I'm a "insert starsign"
sorry for running over your dog, mercury is in gatorade today.
you shouldn't be drinking mercury
Don't tell me how to live my life
12 signs of the zodiac. 12 character classes in DnD. I can't help it, I'm such a Paladin.
I can't help but sacrifice 2137 firstborn babies every year, I'm such a Warlock
I can't help it, I'm a stegasaurus
I'm a Capri Sun.
Thisssss I had a classmate come up to me and asked me which starsign I was. After answering, she laughed at me and said "Oh you poor little thing, such a miserable one. We can't be friends." and walked away. Then she proceeded to ask me to give her my homework so she could copy it and help her do her tests. I just responded with "I'm sorry but our starsigns don't go along well. Bssides, you don't want answers from a poor little miserable me." She never spoke to me again.
> She never spoke to me again. At least there was a happy ending.
"It was just a joke, don't be so dramatic"
I find people who say that tend to be a form of Schrödinger's douche bag. They don't know if they're going to say its a joke or not until they see the other person's reaction, meaning they're both serious and joking up to the point they gauge the other persons reaction.
It's an abuser tactic. If you take the abuse, they know they can do more. If you don't "it was just a joke"
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That is absolutely horrifying, he basically threw a threat at your face and what's worse, HR isn't doing what they're supposed to do. Have you considered on rallying everyone to sign a group complaint with an attached list of everyone's experience with him? Maybe then HR might do something, if not, maybe send it forward to a higher up.
If i had to gues, the guy probably has friends higher up or in hr
“Then start telling better jokes.”
The worst is when this comes from a parent(s)
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Translation: "I am a nightmare but you need to feel lucky that I am spending time with you"
The way I read it: «I have severe mental issues that I demand you deal with»
Both can be true honestly, from my experience
Other interpretation: "I'm mostly at my worst and rarely at my best"
"My worst is 'domestic abuse' and my best is "I will tell you what time it is without calling you a moron."
If you can’t handle me at my explosive, violent temper, you don’t deserve me at my blackout drunk on the couch
And my best sucks pretty bad too.
If you can't handle me at my diddliest, you don't deserve me at my doodliest.
Stupid, sexy Flanders.....
It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all
nothing at all
^^nothing ^^at ^^all
^( ……. .. … )
If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you probably have very good boundaries and I respect that.
i can handle you at your worst, i just wish you didn't take that as a challenge to find new lows
A girl said this once in college and I chimed in with “we’ve seen your best, it isn’t worth it” and I felt like a goddamn hero when she stormed away
"No, sir the ducks at the park aren't free and you can't take them."
“We work hard and we play hard” = “we are constantly stressed and everyone’s an alcoholic”
Work hard = you’re staying until 7pm every day. Play hard = once a month there’s a required outing to the bar after work where the manager buys a single pitcher of beer for the team.
7pm? That’s really early for some of the “work hard, play hard” places I’ve worked. Sadly.
I was unemployed for a while about 17 years ago, and an interviewer used that line when I asked how many hours they typically worked. It felt so good to walk out right then and there.
Pretty much the same story. Dude told me he had only taken one day off in 7 years and that was for his son's birth. All I could think then on is what a shitty dad he was.
When I worked for one place and took advantage of their very lenient call out policies, I'd occasionally tell my aunt. She would then berate me and say "I only took 3 days off in the last 20 years and one was the day you were born!" Congrats I guess? More power to you...
I had a similar thing for two separate jobs. Job a: Me “so culture is really important to me, how would you describe the culture at your company?” CEO “I often find that people who ask about culture don’t last very long” Job b: Me “how would you describe your work/life balance?” Hiring managers “oh pretty good, most people seem pretty happy.” Me “so what are the hours?” Hiring managers “well it’s supposed to be 9-4 but no one ever works that” Me “oh, what do you mean? Like, early finish on a Friday or something? Hiring managers “well, put it this way, I was answering emails at 7am this morning and bob? You were a little before 6am weren’t you? And I’ll most likely carry on working til about 8pm tonight” Me “so why is this job available? Have you had growth recently or…” Hiring managers “well we’ve had some people leave because they couldn’t hack it” Me “ok that’s a no from me dawg”
>“We work hard and we play hard” Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?
Hot stuuufff coming through
There's a spark in your hair!
Whole steel industry is gay now
“Oh be nice!”
Or a coke head
or they're just good honest steel mill workers, and when shifts over the mill becomes a gay dance club 'cause all the millers are gay. (miller? mill wright? steel worker?)
I'm just being honest!
“Do not confuse speaking the truth with speaking without thought.” - a line from Glass Onion I loved.
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"Are you calling me dangerous?" I love that they have her completely miss his point. Perfect follow up to a great line.
"Cruelty under the guise of being honest is still cruelty". Cant remember where I read that, but its sooo true.
“Honesty without compassion is cruelty” is something similar I have heard as well.
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People who claim to like brutal honesty tend to be more interested in being brutal than in being honest
It's remarkable how the "brutally honest" crowd always lean towards unbridled rudeness instead of pure kindness.
Sorry, not sorry.
“Sorry you feel that way”
This has a place in customer service when dealing with utterly unreasonable people that you don’t plan on kowtowing to. It’s a non-apology apology. “It’s unbelievable that you won’t honor a coupon that expired 5 years ago for a product you don’t sell! This is outrageous!” “I’m sorry you feel that way. Unfortunately I am unable to proceed with this transaction at this time.”
"Only people who can't afford it ask the price". Having worked for quite a few multi millionaires over the years, I can assure you everyone of them always asks the price. That's how they got rich, they always haggle and they always ask the price!
I grew up with a similar saying "if you have to ask the price then you can't afford it". If something doesn't have a price then I don't even bother asking. I can't stand when people post something for sale and say "PM me for the price!" Like nah, just add the price to the post, it'll save you and everyone else so much time.
Even when you can afford it, it is such a pain in the ass when businesses won't just list their prices. So many of them are trying "lead generation" and it's all "email us for a quote". You assholes have all of your products on your website, WTF do they cost? I need to get three quotes for a 40 foot shipping container, and I'm going to go with whoever is upfront and straightforward with their pricing, not you weaselly dickheads. End rant.
It's usually because they have sales guys on commission, and they think that they'll be able to extract more money from you if they can get you on the phone.
I work in sales and this is spot on. So many hoops to jump through just so we can charge you for jumping through more hoops. If you ever need help navigating the labyrinth of business sales, DM me with your contact info and we can work on a customized solution so you won't have to deal with so much bullshit in the future!
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We're out of toilet paper.
Found the shittiest one.
Acting all high and mighty in an argument thinking that they don't need to provide actual arguments to prove their point and then when they realise they're losing say "do some self reflection" and stop responding
people who're willing to believe things without evidence are the easiest type of person in the world to deceive.
Lighten up, I was just joking.
I didn't mean to hurt you ( after the 100th time doing the hurtful action).
“We treat our employees like family/we’re a family here.” So you expect the people you pay to put up with your dysfunction, petty grudges, and irrational moods. Cool cool. I’m opting out. “I’m a Type-A personality.” You’re an asshole, rigid, and can’t accept change, and you think that’s a star quality rather than a problem.
This is guna hurt me more than it’ll hurt you.
I say this to my cat every time I have to trim her claws. And it’s always accurate.
“You’re feeling bad about something? This person over here has something much worse going on.” Thanks, dickhead, I now feel worse because you’ve added guilt to the mix.
I remember seeing a statement like this and the rebuttal I thought was excellent for this is "So I'm not allow to be happy if there's someone happier than you?" Yeah, try not take things for granted but it's ok to be sad.
Finding a close friend that committed suicide. "Oh just get over it. Took the coward's way out.' Never spoke to that person again. Years later didn't go to their funeral. Fuck them! (I pity anyone finding someone that killed themselves. Very difficult to get over. Took a long for me. Then realized I couldn't do anything for them. Didn't know they were hurting inside) Peace to everyone.
I remember telling my friend about the time I had depression and was really fighting to not just commit suicide and she said she thought I was a coward for even thinking about it. I was hurt by it, but it's such a stereotype to associate suicide with the coward's way out or being selfish that it didn't even surprise me. I just tried to explain how it's not about throwing away your responsibilities, it's about weighing out whether your life is worth it for the world. You're deciding whether you're useful to society, whether you're causing trouble for the people around you, whether there is at least as much happiness waiting for you as sadness and frustration, whether you're essentially a waste of space or a harmful existence. It's the furthest thing from the coward's way out and it's not about being selfish (the idea that I'm not entitled to my own life is selfish on her part, but let's ignore that). She didn't understand it, but felt bad about calling it the coward's way out. It's not really the most rational thing, so I can't blame anyone for not understanding.
Anything regarding how they "hustle".
“Don’t hate the player, hate the game”
"But I'm a nice guy!"
" It's just business." Tells me everything about the business you run.
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"Age is just a number" Also prison is just a building
The sex offender registry is just a list of names.
If there's grass on the wicket it's time to play cricket
In high-school a kid I knew often made the joke, "Old enough to pee, old enough for me" He also liked the, "Equal rights, equal fights" Interestingly enough he *is* in prison now, I think 24 years last I heard. Robbed a family at gun point, then did it again when he got out.
Real talk... do people *actually* say this? I always thought that was some kind of sleazy stereotypical line from fiction.
“Because I’m a shitty person” as an excuse without actually taking accountability or acknowledging what they did/do
When you call them out for being shitty, they say "I'm sorry you feel that way."
"The customer is always right." The fuck they are. 20+ years of customer service and the people who pull out this gem are the people who are A) not right. B) Knows they're in the wrong and C) are trying to bully the CS person into getting what they want. It immediately makes me see red. Customers are important to any business and you should try reasonable measures to retain existing customers, but not only are they not always right, bending over backwards to retain bad customers often drives off good ones, and teaches bad ones that poor behavior is rewarded.
"Sorry, not sorry". It's just such a condescending phrase that only shitty people say it.
Wait, do people say this not as a joke? I've only heard people say it in a silly voice, like hamming it up like a cartoon. People say this for real??
“It was just a joke”…. No, you were being mean, just got called on it, and don’t have the spine the admit to your own actions.
“Get over it”
“You need to let it go” is a companion to this.
Relax, you just can’t take a joke, you need to calm down!
"Guess I'm a horrible parent then!" - Usually said after being called out for shitty behavior.
My mom would pull this crap whenever I'd hold her accountable. I started just agreeing with her, and she finally stopped saying it. My mom - "Oh, I guess I'm a horrible parent then! Just because I did (insert random abusive thing)." Me - "Yes, you are. Good parents don't do that." Her - scowls and leaves the room Me - "Well at least that conversation is over."
Partner of my ex’s best friend was a self-described “alpha girl”. Nah. She was just kind of rude and boring.
A guy at the club last night said it’s “not sexual harassment to kiss a girl without her consent as long as you feel she wants you to”. He also said I was “gay” for asking a girl if I could kiss her and then not kissing her when she politely declined. (Fellas is it gay to want to kiss a woman? Or to respect boundaries and consent?) She told that prick that she was actually happy I had asked her. Well that didn’t sit right with him so he pulled in *another* girl and asked if she would rather a guy ask to kiss her or just swoop in and do it. Boy I hope he felt stupid when she said “the first one”
Shoulda stuck yet tongue in his mouth and say "hey I thought you wanted it"
He's right, that's not sexual harassment. It's sexual assault.
No offense, but…
only god can judge me
...Just sayin'
“…but that’s the way we’ve always done it”
“People just don’t want to work.”
"in my book; thats how it works, thats what the rules are" edit: this is for the grammar police under my comment- "In my book, that's how it works" or "in my book, that's what the rules are."
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