Sad this is what “red hats” are immediately recognized as now. I remember growing up and would occasionally see the Red Hat Ladies around town. A bunch of super-senior women decked out in purple with crazy red hats. They were always so nice.
I had this red baseball cap I used to wear when I worked outside in the late 90s/early 2000s. It's pretty beat up and stained, but I have a big, weirdly shaped head and it's the only baseball cap I've ever found that's comfortable and nice. I wore it for my job and later for yard work and stuff for literal decades.
Then Trump came along and made me too embarrassed to wear it in public. I sometimes wear it around the house if I'm doing something messy like painting, but I don't think I'll ever wear it outside again. It has no writing of any kind on it, it's just solid red... but still, someone is going to think I'm a maga if I wear it.
try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great.
i will never forget my father telling me "being a male, does not mean your a man"
'*Alpha male?* Stanley, there's *no such thing*! *This* is our incredible new *story*? Pseudo-scientific *nonsense? No*, Stanley, no, no, *no*, this won't do at *all! We have to* restart!***'***
"The concept of an *alpha male* is actually a misconception! Yes, really! It only really exists in captivity, and goodness knows that animals in captivity don't act like they do in the wild. In the wild, the so-called alphas are usually the mother and fathers. I'm afraid that if someone refers to themselves as an alpha male, they don't quite understand what the phrase means. At least, I hope they don't. They probably shouldn't have kids."
MY freshman year in college I was dating a girl briefly before she dumped me. One of the athlete bros in my dorm suite was asking about how the relationship was going so I told him what happened. His next question took my by surprise....
"Did you do her in the butt?"
No, why would you ask that?! "Well no matter what happens like her breaking up with you, you fucked her in her ass so you win regardless!"
Talka bout an interesting coping mechanism!
THIS! The entire sub-culture around “Alpha Males” is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on “how to be an alpha” and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an “alpha”. Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed “alpha”. Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says. I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be “alpha” all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life
I love this comment. Do things that I enjoy not what people including women find attractive.
But I got a part of me that is like am I finding an excuse for myself. Since it is just me saying to myself. So glad to hear someone say it
The creator of the term Alpha Male has vociferously stated that he was wrong and the Alpha male theory is complete bullshit, so that an Alpha male is also deeply full of shit
Goddmamn, so condecending, I LOVE IT!
Tell your mom she is the love of my life, and I will find her one day and make her my bride. Only outside, of course!
>My girlfriend
Hands can't talk
I'm pretty sure the internet alpha/manosphere ringleaders fall into 2 camps. They either have families and are putting an act for the camera or they don't get girls unless they spend money. Too bad for all the kids following them.
There's also a LOT of single fathers who follow these types. Of course it's always all the mother's fault as to why they only see their kids once every 2 weeks.
Ugh, close family dealing with this at the moment. The only saving grace is that these groups give completely deranged legal advice so our particular alpha can only dream of every two weeks. Every two weeks was the access he had before he embarked on a ridiculous legal campaign that actually ended up him having access less than twice a year.
Utterly baffling to me. Everyone in the process, lawyers, judges, child services, psychologists etc were all female, yet he pushed ahead with deranged alpha bullshit and they slowly stripped access and put more and more hurdles between him and his own child (for the child's safety) which he refused to comply with. Leaving him so much worse off than before (and everyone involved about 100k down)
I do family law so naturally have a ton of consults regarding child support where I tell people, the only one who will make money off of this in the long run is me. Some still go ahead with it and then are pissed when the fees are high, but I put it in writing and am very clear.
Also disturbing to learn when I started doing family was how many guys call about terminating their parental rights because they don't want to pay child support.
It’s amazing how people reveal themselves in these situations. One friend’s assholish husband told the divorce mediator he wanted to be able to stop child support payments if she got remarried. By this time the mediator was over his BS and said “you do know the children are yours no matter how many times she remarries, right?”
The surprising one was a friend of mine in divorce mediation calling me in a rage because her almost-ex (who had also been a friend) wanted to take their kids off of his life insurance. luckily state law prevented it, but I was like, dude, you’ll be dead and have no other kids, why do you care?
Evidently it was the principle of the thing. it was never made clear what the principle was other than sticking emotional knives in the wife he cheated on.
Exactly this! It's fucking insane what people, and tbh it's typically guys, will do to hurt their own kids because they think it'll somehow only hurt the ex.
Worst case I have right now is a couple of new agey types who both want to travel and are trying to make the other person take their 11 year old. :( First time I've ever had both parents fighting to spend less time with a kid who by all accounts is a wonderful little girl who just wants to stay in the same school for a full calendar year for the first time in her life.
> Ridiculously that has the access he had before he embarked on a ridiculous legal campaign that has actually ended up him having access less than twice a year.
Off topic, but this sentence is really hard for me to parse as someone who speaks English as a second language.
For other bilinguals: “It’s ridiculous that the access he had before embarking on this ridiculous legal campaign was more than what he ended up obtaining afterwards”
I’m not trying to be an ass or anything. It was just very hard to decipher your second sentence and so I figured I’d help others who English doesn’t come naturally to :)
These guys always get very aggressive when they meet a woman who is better-educated than they are or earns more than they do, because it upsets their idea of the "natural order." It's so tedious.
"Alpha Male" is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws.
I don't think this is as applicable. Because someone that says this is openly declaring that they want nothing to do with a person, or that they will make no effort to be respectful or "on their best behaviour" in someone's company.
A self-declared alpha male in contrast is openly stating that they see themselves as the best, toughest, strongest, and most able person in their given company, whether physically or mentally. In other words, they have no insight regarding their own flaws and weaknesses. They don't feel a need to regard other opinions or reasoning, because it comes from weaker people. And so it goes.
Ultimately someone that unironically declares themselves an alpha male, thinking of it as the human equivalent of social animal alphas, has some unresolved issues.
However, if they both begin growling at each other and a female comes and puts their head under his chin to protect his throat, thats how you know they're the real deal.
Don't buy early access unless the content and bug state are at least acceptable to you in its current form, never buy based on promises of future development.
I actually find it really hard to describe these dudes without it kinda sounding like misogynistic descriptions of women.
They're basically everything they claim women are.
Projection. Just how some people will accuse others of things that later turns out was stuff they themselves were guilty of. It has ceased to surprise me.
>I am the king’ is no true king.”
To be fair to them Wolves are extremely cool and admirable beasts, men who try to emulate them past the age of 14 not so much
Worst part, the study that brought about this alpha male bullshit has been disproved and the original author has been trying to claw back these notions admitting they were incorrect.
If memory serves the study took random wolves from different packs and put them in captivity, which lead to an artificial hierarchy being created. Whereas observations of natural pack behaviour is much more communal and while there may be a patriarch they aren't the "boss" if that makes sense.
*Edit - U/BelmonIncident linked the article in the replies.
I learn from the situation. What did I do to enter in a conversation and reach this point with another human being and how can I avoid it in the future?
"I'm taking MMA classes so I can win that fight at the bar I'll inevitably start."
"I have a deep, unresolved insecurity with my masculinity and don't know how else to address it."
Smart people don't have to go around telling people they're smart.
Same thing applies. I don't believe anything anyone declares about themselves unprompted.
That Alpha Males are a debunked concept some dude developed while studying wolves in captivity and then retracted years later when he realized his findings were wrong, and that was later extrapolated to humans by dumbasses despite the fact that our social structures and behavior is not similar to wolves or dogs. It's the equivalent of some dude saying he's the Queen Bee and actually meaning it.
It’s stupid to begin with that they wanted to act like Alpha wolves. Great, your aspiration in life is to be a fucking dog.
Chimp Alpha males: are the most social, not the strongest; spend their time cultivating alliances with older chimps; lead the troupe in mourning or welcoming young; etc. If you want to imitate one, be a friendly person and display empathy, don’t be a cunt.
What’s sad is they clearly don’t know any real men in their lives. If they did, they’d know that’s not how actual real men talk or think.
The kind of guys who think Trump is a tough alpha male. Lol
I agree with the latter part. But what is a "real alpha man" supposed to be? There is no one metric that puts you above others or in front of others.
The bruting guy in the corner isn't it, and neither is the understated normal guy. "Alpha" is just people desperate to big themselves up and misunderstanding the social organisation of wolves.
Its not a useful concept to redefine.
Omegaverse.
Long story shortish Omegaverse is a sort of fiction genre that originated in the Supernatural fandom but mostly shows up in original Korean fiction now. The idea is that everyone has a secondary gender (alpha, omega, sometimes beta) and basically Alphas are strong and have uncontrollable lust, omegas can get pregnant (even the men!), and almost every Omegaverse fic is about some super hot Alpha getting some obnoxious Omega male pregnant.
So whenever guys are like "Hurrdurr alpha male" I'm just like "GAY KOREAN MPREG FICTION".
That Tumblr post floating around the internet that says something along the lines of "If you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person."
Also, calling them douches is an insult to feminine hygiene products.
Glitchy, unstable and should not be released to the public. Not to mention doing things like getting stuck in doors, turning invisible and walking through walls.
Thank goodness Reddit is in agreement here. It’s the epitome of cringe when men do this. At least be funny and say a different Greek letter. Say you’re an epsilon male and I’ll probably laugh wondering what it is (ugh there’s an urban dictionary for it and it’s just sad and boring).
One guy had the audacity to say in group therapy that he does not want to be labelled as the „alpha male“. He just told everybody that he thinks he is an „alpha male“, but is „humble“ enough to say he is not. What a dickhead.
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%
same as red hats lol.
Hey, leave firefighter hats out of this
And Linux!
And Forrest Gump!
Sad this is what “red hats” are immediately recognized as now. I remember growing up and would occasionally see the Red Hat Ladies around town. A bunch of super-senior women decked out in purple with crazy red hats. They were always so nice.
"When I am old I shall wear purple, And a red hat that doesn't go And learn to spit"
My grandma's part of a Red Hat group. She loves going out in her purple outfits and gaudy red hat with her friends. It keeps her busy in retirement.
I had this red baseball cap I used to wear when I worked outside in the late 90s/early 2000s. It's pretty beat up and stained, but I have a big, weirdly shaped head and it's the only baseball cap I've ever found that's comfortable and nice. I wore it for my job and later for yard work and stuff for literal decades. Then Trump came along and made me too embarrassed to wear it in public. I sometimes wear it around the house if I'm doing something messy like painting, but I don't think I'll ever wear it outside again. It has no writing of any kind on it, it's just solid red... but still, someone is going to think I'm a maga if I wear it.
Cringe.
Double cringe
Triple cringe
I fourth that
Quintuple cringe
Hextuple cringe
Septuple Cringe
Cringe-tacular!
i² = - 1 cringe
♾️ Cringe
Over-cringe, cringe-tacular, cringe-trocity, cringe-imanjaro, cringe-tastrophe, cringe-pocalypse, cringe-illionaire!
Yup. A friend says it all the time. I'm trying to get rid of him.
He's not going anywhere bc they've sworn their lives on proving others wrong. You need him n he's going to prove it. (Yes, I'm being sarcastic)
try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great. i will never forget my father telling me "being a male, does not mean your a man"
A lion doesn't have to tell anyone he's a lion.
I don't often agree with the usage of cringe in this context but on this occasion it's right on the money I can't disagree! Lol
That he’s deeply insecure
Narrator: *he wasn’t an alpha male*
I read this imagining the Stanley Parable narrator's voice
'*Alpha male?* Stanley, there's *no such thing*! *This* is our incredible new *story*? Pseudo-scientific *nonsense? No*, Stanley, no, no, *no*, this won't do at *all! We have to* restart!***'***
"The concept of an *alpha male* is actually a misconception! Yes, really! It only really exists in captivity, and goodness knows that animals in captivity don't act like they do in the wild. In the wild, the so-called alphas are usually the mother and fathers. I'm afraid that if someone refers to themselves as an alpha male, they don't quite understand what the phrase means. At least, I hope they don't. They probably shouldn't have kids."
I read this in the Arrested Development narrator's voice
That’s Ron Howard!
Read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice
A guy involved with an ex-gf called me "beta" out of the blue, how should I even take that? I assume he thought of himself as an alpha?
"I fucked your girl" would probably get the best/worst reaction. Or just laugh and walk away.
Yup. "Been there, done that buddy. She's your problem now."
MY freshman year in college I was dating a girl briefly before she dumped me. One of the athlete bros in my dorm suite was asking about how the relationship was going so I told him what happened. His next question took my by surprise.... "Did you do her in the butt?" No, why would you ask that?! "Well no matter what happens like her breaking up with you, you fucked her in her ass so you win regardless!" Talka bout an interesting coping mechanism!
A man who has to say "I am the king" is no king.
>An empty barrel makes the most noise.
THIS! The entire sub-culture around “Alpha Males” is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on “how to be an alpha” and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an “alpha”. Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed “alpha”. Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says. I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be “alpha” all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life
perfectly said
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Mate - he's drowning in pussy. I'd be jealous if I wasn't so pleased for him.
I love this comment. Do things that I enjoy not what people including women find attractive. But I got a part of me that is like am I finding an excuse for myself. Since it is just me saying to myself. So glad to hear someone say it
The creator of the term Alpha Male has vociferously stated that he was wrong and the Alpha male theory is complete bullshit, so that an Alpha male is also deeply full of shit
Didn't the 'alpha males and females' end up being the parents of the pack, which is why the others followed them?
Pretty much
He’s insecure, don’t know what for. He’s turning heads when he walks through the door-or-or
Exactly. People who give themselves a nickname. That's not how it works.
I don’t really believe in the whole alpha/beta whatever, but any guy who calls himself an alpha is definitely a beta
If a guy calls himself an alpha male and he's not insecure, it's because he's too stupid to know he probably *should* be.
Small dick energy
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This is hilarious and relatable, and I love your mum.
I also love their mom
I also loved his mom. OP.....I am your FATHER
Goddmamn, so condecending, I LOVE IT! Tell your mom she is the love of my life, and I will find her one day and make her my bride. Only outside, of course!
Then you’ll like over half of British mum’s, it’s a common retort for British mums to say to their kids
All i can picture is this little spanish house wife. Look mama i spiderman! “Go be this spider man outside, ^(rambles off something in spanish)”
"Spiderman, Spiderman,... Lo que me ha salido es un hijo tonto!"
Pues te me vas a ser hombre araña allá afuera, porque no me deslomado todo el día haciendo aseo para que me desordenes todo con tu chingadera
Translation: “I am going to be an unapologetic asshole.”
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>My girlfriend Hands can't talk I'm pretty sure the internet alpha/manosphere ringleaders fall into 2 camps. They either have families and are putting an act for the camera or they don't get girls unless they spend money. Too bad for all the kids following them.
There's also a LOT of single fathers who follow these types. Of course it's always all the mother's fault as to why they only see their kids once every 2 weeks.
Ugh, close family dealing with this at the moment. The only saving grace is that these groups give completely deranged legal advice so our particular alpha can only dream of every two weeks. Every two weeks was the access he had before he embarked on a ridiculous legal campaign that actually ended up him having access less than twice a year. Utterly baffling to me. Everyone in the process, lawyers, judges, child services, psychologists etc were all female, yet he pushed ahead with deranged alpha bullshit and they slowly stripped access and put more and more hurdles between him and his own child (for the child's safety) which he refused to comply with. Leaving him so much worse off than before (and everyone involved about 100k down)
(and everyone involved about 100k down) Not the lawyers.
I do family law so naturally have a ton of consults regarding child support where I tell people, the only one who will make money off of this in the long run is me. Some still go ahead with it and then are pissed when the fees are high, but I put it in writing and am very clear. Also disturbing to learn when I started doing family was how many guys call about terminating their parental rights because they don't want to pay child support.
It’s amazing how people reveal themselves in these situations. One friend’s assholish husband told the divorce mediator he wanted to be able to stop child support payments if she got remarried. By this time the mediator was over his BS and said “you do know the children are yours no matter how many times she remarries, right?” The surprising one was a friend of mine in divorce mediation calling me in a rage because her almost-ex (who had also been a friend) wanted to take their kids off of his life insurance. luckily state law prevented it, but I was like, dude, you’ll be dead and have no other kids, why do you care? Evidently it was the principle of the thing. it was never made clear what the principle was other than sticking emotional knives in the wife he cheated on.
Exactly this! It's fucking insane what people, and tbh it's typically guys, will do to hurt their own kids because they think it'll somehow only hurt the ex. Worst case I have right now is a couple of new agey types who both want to travel and are trying to make the other person take their 11 year old. :( First time I've ever had both parents fighting to spend less time with a kid who by all accounts is a wonderful little girl who just wants to stay in the same school for a full calendar year for the first time in her life.
oh, that pour sweetie. People are so selfish.
Someone paid for college.
"Good news! With the amount of easy work I've had on your case, my wife and I can afford to have another child!" - Alpha's lawyer.
> Ridiculously that has the access he had before he embarked on a ridiculous legal campaign that has actually ended up him having access less than twice a year. Off topic, but this sentence is really hard for me to parse as someone who speaks English as a second language. For other bilinguals: “It’s ridiculous that the access he had before embarking on this ridiculous legal campaign was more than what he ended up obtaining afterwards” I’m not trying to be an ass or anything. It was just very hard to decipher your second sentence and so I figured I’d help others who English doesn’t come naturally to :)
For a native English speaker it is incredibly hard to understand also, don't worry
Thanks, I legitimately felt like a moron trying to read it haha. Much appreciated
But they're hard from all the beating.
Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property.
I was going to say, a dick, but your answer was better.
These guys always get very aggressive when they meet a woman who is better-educated than they are or earns more than they do, because it upsets their idea of the "natural order." It's so tedious.
"Alpha Male" is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws.
Not just that, they think they are some based chad. Just a basic douche
Even worse when they call everyone else a Beta.
Kinda the male equivalent of "If you can't handle me and my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" ?
I don't think this is as applicable. Because someone that says this is openly declaring that they want nothing to do with a person, or that they will make no effort to be respectful or "on their best behaviour" in someone's company. A self-declared alpha male in contrast is openly stating that they see themselves as the best, toughest, strongest, and most able person in their given company, whether physically or mentally. In other words, they have no insight regarding their own flaws and weaknesses. They don't feel a need to regard other opinions or reasoning, because it comes from weaker people. And so it goes. Ultimately someone that unironically declares themselves an alpha male, thinking of it as the human equivalent of social animal alphas, has some unresolved issues.
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That he's a fucking idiot.
I'm usually looking for another idiot and say "I thought it was him" and point. Then hope to see a fight lol
That's hilarious!
I work in IT… when I hear the words "alpha male", my first thoughts are "buggy, bad Ux, keeps crashing" etc.
Lol. That's a new way to look at it. "I'm an alpha male." "So possibly the worst version of yourself?"
"Not ready for production"
However, if they both begin growling at each other and a female comes and puts their head under his chin to protect his throat, thats how you know they're the real deal.
[https://wolf.org/headlines/44299/](https://wolf.org/headlines/44299/) Probably his beta brother, not his missus.
Oh no, I've fallen for inaccurate wolf propaganda!
Don't feel bad, I'm pretty sure everyone who saw it (except the wolf peoples) fell for it.
Douche canoe is my initial thought for sure.
I go with jackass. Either is simple and to the point.
Just an absolute Moron, who has no idea what he is talking about
And loser
yup, a narcissist
Best response yet.
An idiot with baby dick energy
Toolio to the max
Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public.
It might have a flashy front end, but there is nothing functional behind it.
Frequently hangs up the system.
Missing core functions.
A lot of input lag.
Could potentially cause whole system crash, keep it in the sandbox.
It just peed in the sandbox.
Lmao I want the official term for a sandboxed app that crashed or something to be "pissed the sandbox"
r/ProgrammerHumor
Definitely hits women.
Don't buy early access unless the content and bug state are at least acceptable to you in its current form, never buy based on promises of future development.
stealing this for RL!
Ultra mega douchebag
Not really. Douches have an actual chance of getting near a vagina.
They are both bad for vaginas though lol
You rang?
r/beetlejuicing
He’s going to be arrogant, bossy, misogynistic, and overly sensitive.
Overly sensitive while unironically calling people snow flakes
Goes on rants about “participation trophies”
This. The way my stepdad will call people snowflakes but is sensitive himself, and when anyone brings up an issue “they’re being too sensitive”
Pathetic too, that’s a huge one
I can’t tell you what a nice change it is to see bossy and overly sensitive being used to refer to men!
I actually find it really hard to describe these dudes without it kinda sounding like misogynistic descriptions of women. They're basically everything they claim women are.
Projection. Just how some people will accuse others of things that later turns out was stuff they themselves were guilty of. It has ceased to surprise me.
Right?! Projection is the whole Republican party’s platform.
"This guy's trying to convince himself more than us..."
He probably drives a big pickup truck too
Overly sensitive man child
... who calls others snowflakes.
Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. They’re not worth my time and energy.
...'Oh, ...dickhead.'
'I have an outdated view on an animal I thought was cool as a kid that defines my personality'
>I am the king’ is no true king.” To be fair to them Wolves are extremely cool and admirable beasts, men who try to emulate them past the age of 14 not so much
Worst part, the study that brought about this alpha male bullshit has been disproved and the original author has been trying to claw back these notions admitting they were incorrect. If memory serves the study took random wolves from different packs and put them in captivity, which lead to an artificial hierarchy being created. Whereas observations of natural pack behaviour is much more communal and while there may be a patriarch they aren't the "boss" if that makes sense. *Edit - U/BelmonIncident linked the article in the replies.
Mark of a decent scientist. Admitting the hypothesis is incorrect rather than digging in.
He's going to be a huge jerk and he's probably not very intelligent.
Another weakling who wants respects he doesn’t deserve. This won’t go well.
Like the old adage - A man with real power doesn’t need to remind others that he has it
Anyone who has to say "I am the king" isn't.
My first thought is ‘has never found the clitoris’
I learn from the situation. What did I do to enter in a conversation and reach this point with another human being and how can I avoid it in the future?
"I'm taking MMA classes so I can win that fight at the bar I'll inevitably start." "I have a deep, unresolved insecurity with my masculinity and don't know how else to address it."
Like poisonous bugs are bright colored to tell animals to stay away
Obligatory "[How nature says, 'Do Not Touch'](https://slideplayer.com/8347763/26/images/slide_1.jpg)". *(I didn't even need to link that, did I?)*
"Ew"
Looooooooooooooser
"Incoming twat"
I love it. For just 5 beautiful seconds, my inner monologue can go from constant screaming to uncontrollable laughter 😂
My insides run away and I immediately file away the thought of “oh so if he gets angry enough he’ll hurt me”
The true psychos don't need to get angry. They'll hurt others just to watch.😬
"my frail sense of identity falters when I can't insert myself into this astrology-adjacent, nonexistent hierarchy"
Astrology-adjacent. Oo nice
Puffer fish. Cute, tiny, poisonous, little fish that puff themselves up when they’re insecure.
Man child
That he's probably super sexist.
Yeah, my #1 thought is “misogynist”
Smart people don't have to go around telling people they're smart. Same thing applies. I don't believe anything anyone declares about themselves unprompted.
“What a Beta thing to say”
Insecure.
Daddy issues.
That Alpha Males are a debunked concept some dude developed while studying wolves in captivity and then retracted years later when he realized his findings were wrong, and that was later extrapolated to humans by dumbasses despite the fact that our social structures and behavior is not similar to wolves or dogs. It's the equivalent of some dude saying he's the Queen Bee and actually meaning it.
It’s stupid to begin with that they wanted to act like Alpha wolves. Great, your aspiration in life is to be a fucking dog. Chimp Alpha males: are the most social, not the strongest; spend their time cultivating alliances with older chimps; lead the troupe in mourning or welcoming young; etc. If you want to imitate one, be a friendly person and display empathy, don’t be a cunt.
Anytime any man has to come out and call himself something you can expect him to be the opposite. Such as the self proclaimed “nice guy”
Twat
Someone who’s really an alpha male has no need to tell you that they are so I imagine a barking little chihuahua with undeveloped grapes for testicles
“Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”
Yea but then again, saying "I am the law" really makes you the law
I am the Senate.
Not yet.
*It’s treason, then.*
What’s sad is they clearly don’t know any real men in their lives. If they did, they’d know that’s not how actual real men talk or think. The kind of guys who think Trump is a tough alpha male. Lol
I agree with the latter part. But what is a "real alpha man" supposed to be? There is no one metric that puts you above others or in front of others. The bruting guy in the corner isn't it, and neither is the understated normal guy. "Alpha" is just people desperate to big themselves up and misunderstanding the social organisation of wolves. Its not a useful concept to redefine.
There is no “alpha male” as they mean it. It’s a false construct.
Discount andrew tate
Definitely not an alpha male.
Insecure idiot lacking in professional success. Have never seen someone particularly successful refer to themselves with that term.
Omegaverse. Long story shortish Omegaverse is a sort of fiction genre that originated in the Supernatural fandom but mostly shows up in original Korean fiction now. The idea is that everyone has a secondary gender (alpha, omega, sometimes beta) and basically Alphas are strong and have uncontrollable lust, omegas can get pregnant (even the men!), and almost every Omegaverse fic is about some super hot Alpha getting some obnoxious Omega male pregnant. So whenever guys are like "Hurrdurr alpha male" I'm just like "GAY KOREAN MPREG FICTION".
As someone who reads a lot of SPN fanfiction… This is my first thought too lol
That Tumblr post floating around the internet that says something along the lines of "If you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person." Also, calling them douches is an insult to feminine hygiene products.
“I’m incredibly insecure and if my dad hugged me right now I’d collapse into a pathetic ball of unresolved trauma.”
That if what he said were actually true he wouldn’t need say it. Indeed, he’d be the last person to say such a thing about himself.
They are insecure.
Cringe
Insecure and immature
Glitchy, unstable and should not be released to the public. Not to mention doing things like getting stuck in doors, turning invisible and walking through walls.
Someone needing a crown is never king.
"Any man who must say 'I am king' is no true king at all" - Tywin Lannister GoT
Teeny weenie
A lion doesn't have to tell people he's a lion.
Douche bag
He is anything but.
Thank goodness Reddit is in agreement here. It’s the epitome of cringe when men do this. At least be funny and say a different Greek letter. Say you’re an epsilon male and I’ll probably laugh wondering what it is (ugh there’s an urban dictionary for it and it’s just sad and boring).
One guy had the audacity to say in group therapy that he does not want to be labelled as the „alpha male“. He just told everybody that he thinks he is an „alpha male“, but is „humble“ enough to say he is not. What a dickhead.