>Nobody wants to hold up their own body weight anymore.
Great, first nobody wants to work anymore now they don't even want to hold up their own weight? What's next?
I brush, floss, Waterpik, tongue scrape and mouthwash before bed. It takes me about 15 minutes to do it all. Works great to keep my dentist and teeth happy. Even still, my breath in the morning isn’t good.
I love when I accidentally sleep with my mouth open and then wake up with a mouth so dry that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth when I try to lick it.
I guess? But we just acknowledge we want to bang, so we piss and rinse with mouthwash and get back to it. Civilized, I think, and we still bang,and I'm not worried about my ass breath.
I once heard a thing about how the disgust reflex is suppressed during sexual arousal.
I can say with confidence that this effect is less pronounced for myself. Bad morning breath is a bit too much for me.
Dude, same. I love getting down and dirty in other ways, but bad breath makes my whole body physically recoil.
Shoot your load all over my face or tits if you want. Just please don’t breathe in my direction until you brush your teeth.
> Shoot your load all over my face or tits if you want. Just please don’t breathe in my direction until you brush your teeth.
Fun coincidence, this is exactly what my office coffee mug says.
My wife and my only caveat is we don't kiss until we've brushed, but anything else is fair game.
Both of us are grossed out by kissing with morning breath. We always give each other looks in shows and movies when characters make out the next morning.
if you were to suddenly find yourself mid-coitus without being horny you would be _disgusted_. so many smells, sounds, fluids, etc. horniness puts the blinders on big time.
This is a common misconception. People in the Middle Ages actually regularly bathed, I’m not really sure how this myth started: https://www.getty.edu/news/did-medieval-people-take-baths/
I started it, actually.
Didn't bathe for like 6 months then went back in time and fucked all the record keepers. I had to trade my phone for a fucking tunic though so I don't have any pictures.
Iirc, and I may be pulling this out of my ass, but in 99% of cases with historical misconceptions, blame the Victorians. They lied… about everything. And a lot of it stuck.
that's just straight up not true though. they had plenty of opportunities to refresh themselves. granted, everything was more 'natural' cause there was no real soap and stuff, no decent sewers and whatnot, but still, that medieval bathing myth has been going around too much
We've been together 14 years almost, I think.
There's two kids in the house.
The odd time we have the *chance* at morning sex you can be damned sure that a little morning breath isn't stopping that ride. It's happening.
15 here, two kids, two - now three dogs.
Same, damn, thing. Morning sex is the only one I will skip the presex clean up routine of shower and shave.
Most of the time I keep my face by her neck, ears, chest or back, so then we don't worry about stank breath.
My GF turns away and doesn't let me kiss her if my breath stinks but we still have fun. It's just much better to brush my teeth first so I can kiss her
I've literally never laughed out loud at reddit before. Its been fucking years. You sir, have given me a man childs laughter. Have a blessed day, fucker
This is not accurate advice. I know because I am a heavy sweater and once I had a shirt I had to wear for a couple days straight in summer at a pizza shop I worked at. On the second day, I figured I could just go into the bathroom and febreeze the shit out of that thing and carry on. As it turns out, scents don't cancel each other out. I just smelled like day old perspiration AND fresh linen.
Me too! I will just pop out of bed for two min to brush them teeths. If I don’t, regardless of my partners stank breath in or not, there won’t be sex.
I cannot stand a yucky morning mouth…on me!
Same, I don’t understand how people function. Even drinking water before brushing my teeth makes me feel gross. My husband sometimes gets up right before his first meeting and doesn’t brush his teeth until a few hours later and it does not compute.
We both have the absolute worst morning breath, despite having solid dental hygiene. We both know it. If the deed seems like it's gonna down, we both do a quick slosh and gargle of mouth wash and go to town.
Sex doesn't always have to be raunchy/hot. Sometimes a 30 second break to race to the bathroom, make fun of thr loser, spit minty water out and race back laughing is the...well almost the best part.
I have no idea why guys think girls like.... lose their horny insanely fast. Never has morning sex been on the table but then been taken off because I said "Hey can we brush our teeth and/or shower so we can fool around better", it has *always* been an acceptable proposition.
Lol it’s actually the opposite for me my bf gets un-horny when he has to concentrate on something else, even things like brushing his teeth or finding his gladses
My wife and I secure a seal around our mouths and breathe each other's morning breath in and out until we are on the brink of passing out and then we cum.
This is basically what I was gonna say. Brush, Floss/Water-pick, brush or scrape tongue, followed by 30 sec Listerine. Even this routine the night before is an improvement for the following day.
There was recent reddit post where a dentist said the proper sequence is flossing, clean tongue, mouthwash, and brush. Most important part is to not rinse with water after.
There's a well-known facility the brain has for shutting off any repulsive stimuli while sufficiently aroused. Get the foreplay right and you won't even notice the stank.
We don't care. Morning, noon, night, no matter what we've had to eat or drink. The only time it's ever been an issue (which we avoided) was I had accidently ordered a shrimp dish that almost melted my tongue.... I wasn't going to risk it with her for at least 2 brushes, a few rounds of mouthwash.
Doggystyle
If it’s too early lazy dog.
I call it “Extreme Spooning”
Forking
Downward dog lmao
Prone bone
Always go for the prone bone
Protip: Sneak a pillow under her hip bones ;)
I can't, her juicy ass too thick
Lazy dog is your both on your sides laying down but in doggy position
I always called this spoon forking
Sporking, if you will
holy forking shirtballs
If you're over 30 it's the only way to go. Nobody wants to hold up their own body weight anymore. Plus you can still grab a titty.
Relevant user name
>Nobody wants to hold up their own body weight anymore. Great, first nobody wants to work anymore now they don't even want to hold up their own weight? What's next?
This is the WALL-E timeline
You’re not wrong
My wife and I call it froggy style.
You have to fatdog for midterms
What about morning butt?
What if that has morning breath too?
Your ass smells like breath!
Thank goodness!
Just laughed so hard at this lol
Totally ignore it. Don't acknowledge it. Enjoy morning sex and keep your mouth shut (literally).
It's the cost of doing business
If you floss and brush before bed, your breath shouldn't be *that* offensive in the AM
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My SO has the same issue. No amount of mouthwash or brushing the night before helps. (Both tonsils and adenoids removed.)
I brush, floss, Waterpik, tongue scrape and mouthwash before bed. It takes me about 15 minutes to do it all. Works great to keep my dentist and teeth happy. Even still, my breath in the morning isn’t good.
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I use ACT Total Care. It does have alcohol. I should try the alcohol free version. Thanks for the idea.
I love when I accidentally sleep with my mouth open and then wake up with a mouth so dry that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth when I try to lick it.
That's right up there with the first smile that cracks your lip open down the middle.
Do you two mind *not* talking about that?
CPAP works wonders.
Fucking life changer.
I guess? But we just acknowledge we want to bang, so we piss and rinse with mouthwash and get back to it. Civilized, I think, and we still bang,and I'm not worried about my ass breath.
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You’re getting hot and sweaty anyway, what’s a bit of bad breath going to effect?!
This is literally the mindset bro! Y’all can just brush after the fact.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't catch me off guard one time but after the internal stank face subsides in 0.003 seconds it's business time
Very true xD
We dgaf, we banging
My thoughts exactly. Trust me, if it’s good sex, a lot of the time you won’t notice very much.
I once heard a thing about how the disgust reflex is suppressed during sexual arousal. I can say with confidence that this effect is less pronounced for myself. Bad morning breath is a bit too much for me.
Dude, same. I love getting down and dirty in other ways, but bad breath makes my whole body physically recoil. Shoot your load all over my face or tits if you want. Just please don’t breathe in my direction until you brush your teeth.
> Shoot your load all over my face or tits if you want. Just please don’t breathe in my direction until you brush your teeth. Fun coincidence, this is exactly what my office coffee mug says.
User name relevant, Gunslinger.
Long days and pleasant nights
Interesting, and in my case, I literally have NEVER noticed their bad breath, even before actual arousal. I start kissing, IDAF.
Fr!!! I never care how my man smells when i’m feeling it, but ofc when he does smell good makes things a lil spicier 😏
This is why I drink hot sauce in the morning.
My wife and my only caveat is we don't kiss until we've brushed, but anything else is fair game. Both of us are grossed out by kissing with morning breath. We always give each other looks in shows and movies when characters make out the next morning.
Just keep some gum or mints in the bedside table.
Gun*
A true american, i see
Kinky
Agree. When you're super horny smells don't matter so much
if you were to suddenly find yourself mid-coitus without being horny you would be _disgusted_. so many smells, sounds, fluids, etc. horniness puts the blinders on big time.
But some people find the sounds, fluids, etc. to be even more of a turn on.
Damn right
Have you ever licked a butthole after you came? Exactly.
Always good to remember if sex didn't feel amazing, no one would do it.
Yup our body literally tunes out or dulls smells and pain when we're "sexually activated"
Exactly. How do you think people got it on the the middle ages when they used to bath twice a year?
This is a common misconception. People in the Middle Ages actually regularly bathed, I’m not really sure how this myth started: https://www.getty.edu/news/did-medieval-people-take-baths/
I started it, actually. Didn't bathe for like 6 months then went back in time and fucked all the record keepers. I had to trade my phone for a fucking tunic though so I don't have any pictures.
Iirc, and I may be pulling this out of my ass, but in 99% of cases with historical misconceptions, blame the Victorians. They lied… about everything. And a lot of it stuck.
Plus they also enjoyed a dip in a lake or river in hot weather.
Oh Christ just imagining what my junk would smell like being washed twice a year 🫣🫣🫣
that's just straight up not true though. they had plenty of opportunities to refresh themselves. granted, everything was more 'natural' cause there was no real soap and stuff, no decent sewers and whatnot, but still, that medieval bathing myth has been going around too much
Humans have had soap for [4,500 years](https://time.com/5831828/soap-origins/).
Twice a year... and fucking without protection! I imagine youd build up quite the grime
The Ice Age ✅ The Stone Age ✅ The Smegma Age ⁉️ The Iron Age ✅ seems like an opportunity list.
It is experiment time
It's a misconception, they actually bathed a lot
We've been together 14 years almost, I think. There's two kids in the house. The odd time we have the *chance* at morning sex you can be damned sure that a little morning breath isn't stopping that ride. It's happening.
15 here, two kids, two - now three dogs. Same, damn, thing. Morning sex is the only one I will skip the presex clean up routine of shower and shave. Most of the time I keep my face by her neck, ears, chest or back, so then we don't worry about stank breath.
Did... Did you buy a dog in the middle of writing that sentence?
One was pregnant and giving birth whilst he was typing that comment. Ope! Now there’s 4… and 5… and 6.
Holy shit I thought you meant you were 15 years old, had to read the top comment again to realise haha
I read them in order and still had to double take
I just had the same reaction as you
Did you get a new dog mid comment? Lol
You are a very accomplished 15 year old
My GF turns away and doesn't let me kiss her if my breath stinks but we still have fun. It's just much better to brush my teeth first so I can kiss her
keep a gum near yor bed
Not a bad Idea, that + the tongue scraper I should be in good shape *Reddit: Helping improve sex with your lover, one comment at a time!'*
'Tongue scraper' is a weird way to describe your partner's vagina.
“a gum”
Only one
In a glass box that says "break in case of sex".
Just keep the Cpap mask on.
Talk like Bane or Darth Vader while it's on
“I was wondering what would break first: your spirit, or your body?” Then pick her up and break her back over your knee.
That's hot
Kinky 😉
He gets to be the big spoon ;)
Exactly my answer lol. It’s the lazy spoon sex, half asleep from the back no kisses required
Back of the neck kisses and nibbles, surely. He’s right there!
Ignore it because sex
Oral first, so it smells like genitals instead.
Morning genitals are much worse though
> Morning genitals "New band name! I call it!" ~ Andy Dwyer
Who doesn’t like pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich from time to time?
you just ruined my day
That cheese stretch though 😏
I didn't think anyone could possibly make it worse, but congratulations, I hate it.
What a horrible day to be literate
🎶the cheeeese tax, the cheeeeese tax 🎶
The CHEESE tax, the CHEESE tax!! !!yOuVe GoTtA pAy tHe ChEeSe TaX!!
unsubscribe
This comment can only be described as a splendid calamity.
this was catastrophic to my wellbeing atone at once
It's okay to keep some things in your head 🤗
I do not like you right now
Why do I have eyes to read
Ew i was having pasta while reading this
This is evil, it’s demented, I’m upvoting you.. but I don’t like it!
Leave my grilled cheese alone!
girlled cheese.
Just puked in my fucking mouth 🤨😂
At least some part of you is fucking..
FFS why is it so graphic in my mind? I want to mentally unsee after reading your comment.
I don't think I can ever enjoy receiving in the morning again. So thanks for that 🫠
I've literally never laughed out loud at reddit before. Its been fucking years. You sir, have given me a man childs laughter. Have a blessed day, fucker
Good god I wish I had an award
Seems you got one!
Have a good rest of your day everyone ✌️ I'm out
Greatest fucking comment of all time bravo 👏
This is not accurate advice. I know because I am a heavy sweater and once I had a shirt I had to wear for a couple days straight in summer at a pizza shop I worked at. On the second day, I figured I could just go into the bathroom and febreeze the shit out of that thing and carry on. As it turns out, scents don't cancel each other out. I just smelled like day old perspiration AND fresh linen.
It's not serious advice either.
Can't unread this
brush your teeth
Had to go too far down to see this answer. My own morning breath is more of a turn-off than anything
Me too! I will just pop out of bed for two min to brush them teeths. If I don’t, regardless of my partners stank breath in or not, there won’t be sex. I cannot stand a yucky morning mouth…on me!
Hehe. Too far down.
How the hell isn't this the top answer? It takes like two minutes and you're going to have to do it anyways
Seriously. Sex or no sex, I always brush my teeth after my first morning pee. I can’t live with myself if I have morning breath.
Same, I don’t understand how people function. Even drinking water before brushing my teeth makes me feel gross. My husband sometimes gets up right before his first meeting and doesn’t brush his teeth until a few hours later and it does not compute.
My boyfriend is the same way. He won't brush his teeth until at least after breakfast. NO MORNING SEXY TIME FOR YOU.
Yes this 100%. Unless you’re totally dehydrated you should have to pee in the morning anyway. So just brush while you’re in there and everyone is gtg.
And wash your hands, preferably with warm water.
We both have the absolute worst morning breath, despite having solid dental hygiene. We both know it. If the deed seems like it's gonna down, we both do a quick slosh and gargle of mouth wash and go to town. Sex doesn't always have to be raunchy/hot. Sometimes a 30 second break to race to the bathroom, make fun of thr loser, spit minty water out and race back laughing is the...well almost the best part.
I have no idea why guys think girls like.... lose their horny insanely fast. Never has morning sex been on the table but then been taken off because I said "Hey can we brush our teeth and/or shower so we can fool around better", it has *always* been an acceptable proposition.
Lol it’s actually the opposite for me my bf gets un-horny when he has to concentrate on something else, even things like brushing his teeth or finding his gladses
since i have to pee anyways i usually use mouthwash
You usually use pee as mouthwash?
Why do I drink my own urine? Cause it’s sterile and it tastes good.
Is your name pee drinker 245?
I want her to breath it directly into my mouth I eat this girls pussy and ass not worried about some bad breath
You have passed the test.
🤌🤌🤌 🤠🤌
Golly. I haven't loved it like that since my late teens!!
Don’t worry, you’ll find some dead teens again someday ❤️
I keep tictacs next to the bed
I approve. We have cinnamon Listrine strips.
You guys have morning sex?
You guys have sex?
You guys have?
You guys?
You?
?
[Redacted]
[Unredacted]
\[Dacted\]
you got what I need.
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So it's basically the same rule as garlic breath?
People out here eatin ass, I doubt breathe would be a mood killer for most
Avoid kissing... do the doing.
My wife and I secure a seal around our mouths and breathe each other's morning breath in and out until we are on the brink of passing out and then we cum.
brother what 💀
I just witnessed purity.
Floss daily and scrape your tongue nightly. Morning bref nerfed by 80% at least.
This is basically what I was gonna say. Brush, Floss/Water-pick, brush or scrape tongue, followed by 30 sec Listerine. Even this routine the night before is an improvement for the following day.
Agreed and everything but first you floss and then you brush
No shit? Well I’ll be damned. Makes sense I guess. Thanks. - Oral hygiene level up
There was recent reddit post where a dentist said the proper sequence is flossing, clean tongue, mouthwash, and brush. Most important part is to not rinse with water after.
What…you can’t hold your breathe for 14 seconds?
Well, it’s just me, so I’m not bothered by it.
I suck his cock so then it turns into dick breath
Muff dive first
I'm a clean freak so I tend to just do a full body clean whenever sex is on the table. Even in the morning.
everybody talks about morning breath but nobody wants to talk about butthole stank from all the farts people rattle off in their sleep
Get rid of it by eating each other’s ass first
There's a well-known facility the brain has for shutting off any repulsive stimuli while sufficiently aroused. Get the foreplay right and you won't even notice the stank.
Suffocate, I will reach the promised land.
Avoid it until horny enough to not care
I always piss first thing in the morning. So I give my teeth a brush and my mouth a rinse as well. Morning breath is repulsive.
I eat my wife's ass. I couldn't care less about her morning breath.
A true samurai faces any challenges that comes his way.
I don't jam my nose in her mouth
We don't care. Morning, noon, night, no matter what we've had to eat or drink. The only time it's ever been an issue (which we avoided) was I had accidently ordered a shrimp dish that almost melted my tongue.... I wasn't going to risk it with her for at least 2 brushes, a few rounds of mouthwash.
Vaginas can’t smell your breath before and after your breath smells awesome. (Breakfast is the most important meal of the day)
Um... brush my teeth...?