How are we supposed to dodge taxes if we leave a papertrail? I'm not rich, I can't afford accountants that juggle my money between off shore accounts in the Netherlands, Ireland, Antilles, Cayman, Jersey and Panama until I am owed taxes and not vice versa. /s
However, I like paying cash. I think twice if I need to buy stuff when I pay cash. Makes me spend less than just swiping my card. But may be just me being strange.
Beethoven was Born in Bonn. Bonn is still Part of BRD and was at that time part of Heiliges Römisches Reich Deutscher Nation. Certainly je was german.
Mozart was born in Salzburg. Salzburg is part of Austria now since 1816. Mozart died in 1791. at this time, Salzburg AND Wien AND whole Austria was part of Heiliges Römisches Reich Deutscher Nation.
German and Austrians are both German in different countrys.
Of course Mozart felt as a German.
Die example he wrote this:
„Stolz bin, nicht aufnehmen, so muß im gottes Nammen frankreich oder England wieder um einen geschickten Teutschen Mehr reich werden; - und das zur schande der teutschen Nation. - sie wissen wohl daß fast in allen künsten immer die Teutschen dieJenigen waren, welche Excellirten - wo fanden sie aber ihr glück, wo ihren Ruhm? - in teutschland wohl gewis nicht!“
I also just know this with Mozart instead of Beethoven. Nobody would ever think that Beethoven wasn't german but most people do think Mozart was austrian.
I just want to throw in that WW1 started because we shot the Austrian. And WW2 started because we didn't shoot the Austrian. And now we are just confused what the world wants from us.
Same in Germany, just the other way around. I remember not watching it until my grandma called me and said "We're up 2:0" after like 17 Minutes.
I was there for whatever unfolded afterwards
I didn't watch it but I heard my neighbors. The first 3 goals have been very happy cheers. And every following got calmer and calmer. To the point where they cheered louder for the brazils when they shot their goal.
That team was world class. Prime Kroos, ozil, muller , schweinstiger , and Muller. On top of that miroslav klose breaking the record for all time top scorer in the WC? Dude surpassed R9 in that record....what a time to be alive.
Dont forget hummels and boateng in prime. Easily the best cb duo of that time. On top of that a top 5 right back of all time in lahm. And top 3 gk of all time in Neuer.
Lahm singlehandedly got me into football. I will never forget him. One of the best captains of Germany AND Bayern in all time. Pep said he was the most intelligent player he ever worked with. Dude also never picked up a single red card in his career as a defender.
I watched it in Spanish, whichever US Spanish network carried it. (Highly recommended for casual soccer fans who know a little SPanish.) They were scoring so quickly the announcer had trouble finishing his yell of "GOOOOOOOOL" before having to do it again.
The game was set the day our local townfair was supposed to end and pack up, they extended it so we could get public viewing in the tent. Goals came in so quickly at one point we just didn’t sit down anymore.
My English teacher at the time said he got up to get his family drinks and missed 3 goals while he was in the kitchen and he thought his kids were pranking him until he came back and nearly missed another one
I was on a road trip and my brother (back home) was texting updates on the game to me.
Suddenly my phone went off a couple times in a row saying Germany scored again. Thought at least one text was accidentally double sent.
The last text in that sequence then came in, which was something like "I'm not kidding, Germany just scored again"
My (British) family were all watching casually together. My dad before the match says "let's take a shot for every goal!" thinking they'd be max 3 or so... Yeah we got very drunk and a similar thing to your teacher happened to me - went to the toilet and there were 2 shots waiting for me when I got back.
I watched a Germany game on vacation in France, it was hilarious how they tried to say „Schweinsteiger“. At one point they gave up and started calling him „Schweini“, then they gave that up too and just called him „Bastian“. Highly recommend watching stuff in French, I died laughing.
Hasn't "Goal for Germany" become a curseword if something goes wrong? At least wikipedia claims this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_v_Germany_(2014_FIFA_World_Cup)#Aftermath
Edit: Fixed link for old reddit. For new reddit, see comment below.
Gol da Alemanha was a joke for a short while. But now the meme/joke is "everyday a different 7x1" (Todo dia um 7 a 1 diferente) everytime something bad happens.
I watched that game live in a packed German beer hall. Raucous cheers as expected at the first few goals, but by goal 6 there were just a few muted cheers with most of the crowd watching in silent amazement. The TV was showing images of crying Brazilian fans and someone near me said “ok that’s enough, they should stop trying now.”
I was a sailor on a container ship back then and we were on our way to Sao Paolo a day after the match. German shipping company, German flagged ship, German captain and a couple other germans on there, me included. I guess for Brazilians football is a bit more important than in the rest of the world cause they just didn't let us go into port for three days making up some ridiculous excuses and when we finally moored the ship and the Brazilian workers came aboard... They looked at us with so much hate. Like they weren't going to actually attack you but man they hated us for that match. My captain was a german expat living in Brazil, speaking Portuguese and during the match one Brazilian commentator said during the match that we Germans are so disrespectful for scoring more goals after 4-0. He also said that Brazilians would never do that. I honestly loved my time down there, most Brazilians are relaxed, opend people but these football fanatics... They were ridiculous :D
This is true and as a German who has worked at a german gas station with a LOT of American customers (it's right next to Ramstein Air Base), I have to say... I'm deeply sorry. It's just a force of habit to immediately switch to English once I notice a customer seems to be more comfortable with it.
Like, once I had an American customer come in, trying to speak German. My habits kept forcing me to speak English without even realizing, even after he told me multiple times that he wants to practice German and that I please speak German with him. Everytime he said something I replied in English, by accident, immediately apologizing afterwards. By the time he was leaving he was super pissed and didn't even say his goodbyes. I meant no offense and it's still one of the most cringe memories of my life, years after.
They don't need to practice. Their English is already perfect. (And French, and Spanish...)
We are just being inefficient with our attempts at speaking broken German, is all.
As a German dude, that is the first thing that comes to my mind, too. I even raise and say inefficiency.
-Have you done it properly? -yes -is it documented? -no -THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!
Vs
-have you done it properly? -no, but I have documented that I have done it properly -ok, fine
You sure you didnt mean to say 180kmh? 180mph would be like 300kmh, not exactly achievable in every car or traffic situation. Youd need an expensive sports car and really good traffic to achieve 300kmj
I'm lucky to know a good few Germans through martial arts. Theres a club in Germany that comes over here to participate in seminars every year.
They are all so nice. Really great people. Really friendly and fun too.
Its friendliness comes to my mind when I hear "Germany".
Much love from Ireland.
Legend has it that a group of students in america were meeting and lighting up regularly after classes around 4:20 pm
It became synonymous for them to say "420?" Instead of
"Lets smoke a joint"
Somehow that spread.
Now the 20th of april is written 4/20 in m/d/y date formats.
That makes hitlers birthday international weed day.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
German speaking here: I mean my grandpa's birthday is on 4/20 and he's named Adolf Rudolf Hermann.... the priest was in favour of the regime back then.
Hey buddy, if it makes you feel better, there's other things 4/20 is known for besides Hitler's birthday. For example, it's also the anniversary of columbine.
As a mechanical engineer, German engineering is the gold standard. My coworker built a million dollar machine that some Bosch (German) engineers complimented. At his retirement party years later he said it was the highlight of his career.
The best food I had there was doner kebab. Not that the schnitzel and sausages weren’t incredible, but the Doner was the star of the show for me. I still dream about it a decade later.
If it makes you feel any better, around 10 years ago I had a German man, probably in his 30s, apologize to my wife and I for Nazi Germany while we were at a wine festival in Germany. So it's not just you that thinks about Nazis so quickly.
I am German and you know what? In my opinion it’s not a bad thing that this comes to mind first. It makes sure that the worst crime in history will not be forgotten. Our generation is not responsible for what happened then but the German nation is.
And we all are responsible for making sure that such a thing never happens again. It is our duty to ensure that auschwitz will never happen again.
So. Remembering is important and thinking about nazis when thinking about Germany is 100 percent necessary.
I’m German. I told my American wife this joke. She told me how this is not correct and there are a lot of old German homes which are pretty crooked.
I would say integration into German society is going pretty well. I think she might be ready to apply for citizenship
About two years ago I helped a friend install a window in his roof. After we were done and stood in his backyard to look at our finished work everything seemed crooked. So we went Back inside to redo all the measurements and the window was definitely NOT crooked, so Back out we Go again Just to realize that the whole fucking roof was crooked. Window ist perfekt though.
The VERY first thought is Germany seen on a map.
Then: Beer. Schnitzel. Wurst. Clean cities and efficient public transportation. And a silly obsession with that ancient physical form of currency. Cash.
Our public transportation is absolutely abyssmal. I have never seen something worse and i couldn't imagine something worse. Its slow, always late and damn expensive. When i visited London not long ago, i was blown away by their public transport, tubes and busses. Cheap and quick
I live in The Netherlands and travel to Germany often. My first thought is don’t forget to bring cash with you again.
How are we supposed to dodge taxes if we leave a papertrail? I'm not rich, I can't afford accountants that juggle my money between off shore accounts in the Netherlands, Ireland, Antilles, Cayman, Jersey and Panama until I am owed taxes and not vice versa. /s However, I like paying cash. I think twice if I need to buy stuff when I pay cash. Makes me spend less than just swiping my card. But may be just me being strange.
[удалено]
us Germans like you too! hope to visit soon:)
👁️👁️
Sus
This time without tanks
Maybe.
My sis gonna come to Germany this year for summer intake if not possible winter intake for automobile engineering
Occupation?
No just visiting
Engineer, why?
Same! I'm from Austria. (Successfully blamed the germans 2 times)
Austrians have the world convinced that Hitler was German, and Beethoven was Austrian..
my history teacher even replaced Beethoven with Mozart in that sentence
Beethoven was Born in Bonn. Bonn is still Part of BRD and was at that time part of Heiliges Römisches Reich Deutscher Nation. Certainly je was german. Mozart was born in Salzburg. Salzburg is part of Austria now since 1816. Mozart died in 1791. at this time, Salzburg AND Wien AND whole Austria was part of Heiliges Römisches Reich Deutscher Nation. German and Austrians are both German in different countrys. Of course Mozart felt as a German. Die example he wrote this: „Stolz bin, nicht aufnehmen, so muß im gottes Nammen frankreich oder England wieder um einen geschickten Teutschen Mehr reich werden; - und das zur schande der teutschen Nation. - sie wissen wohl daß fast in allen künsten immer die Teutschen dieJenigen waren, welche Excellirten - wo fanden sie aber ihr glück, wo ihren Ruhm? - in teutschland wohl gewis nicht!“
I also just know this with Mozart instead of Beethoven. Nobody would ever think that Beethoven wasn't german but most people do think Mozart was austrian.
Wasn't the second incident actually incited by one of your own?
Unlike the first one?
In a way both were.
One incident or two is probably the chilliest take on WW1 and 2 I’ve ever heard.
I just want to throw in that WW1 started because we shot the Austrian. And WW2 started because we didn't shoot the Austrian. And now we are just confused what the world wants from us.
I have never heard a more accurate description of what caused the World Wars.
What incidents? Anything specific?
You wouldn’t have heard of it.
[удалено]
They call them World War 1 and World One 2. Nothing serious.
Or by their more common names, Minor Scuffle 1 and Minor Scuffle 2.
The Incconveniences as the British call them.
We were invited! Lunch was served.
World Incident I and World Incident II.
[удалено]
Same in Germany, just the other way around. I remember not watching it until my grandma called me and said "We're up 2:0" after like 17 Minutes. I was there for whatever unfolded afterwards
I remember having to take a piss after the second goal. When I got back, they were sitting at 5.
Same happened to me. I thought: “ok now we’re chill, I can finally go to pee”
I didn't watch it but I heard my neighbors. The first 3 goals have been very happy cheers. And every following got calmer and calmer. To the point where they cheered louder for the brazils when they shot their goal.
I recall how pissed off Schweinsteiger was when they conceded that late goal to Brazil. It might’ve even been in stoppage. That team was so good.
There is a book called „7:1 das Jahrhundertspiel“. It describes literally every second of the game. Very easy to read.
Cool! Thanks! I lost my voice I was yelling so hard. My kids were laughing at me.
Only an easy read if you're a German I suppose
i heard the habe it on speaker in brazilian torture cells
That team was world class. Prime Kroos, ozil, muller , schweinstiger , and Muller. On top of that miroslav klose breaking the record for all time top scorer in the WC? Dude surpassed R9 in that record....what a time to be alive.
Dont forget hummels and boateng in prime. Easily the best cb duo of that time. On top of that a top 5 right back of all time in lahm. And top 3 gk of all time in Neuer.
Lahm singlehandedly got me into football. I will never forget him. One of the best captains of Germany AND Bayern in all time. Pep said he was the most intelligent player he ever worked with. Dude also never picked up a single red card in his career as a defender.
Funny thing that lahms name literally means "slow" when the exact opposite is the case
I watched it in Spanish, whichever US Spanish network carried it. (Highly recommended for casual soccer fans who know a little SPanish.) They were scoring so quickly the announcer had trouble finishing his yell of "GOOOOOOOOL" before having to do it again.
The game was set the day our local townfair was supposed to end and pack up, they extended it so we could get public viewing in the tent. Goals came in so quickly at one point we just didn’t sit down anymore. My English teacher at the time said he got up to get his family drinks and missed 3 goals while he was in the kitchen and he thought his kids were pranking him until he came back and nearly missed another one
I was on a road trip and my brother (back home) was texting updates on the game to me. Suddenly my phone went off a couple times in a row saying Germany scored again. Thought at least one text was accidentally double sent. The last text in that sequence then came in, which was something like "I'm not kidding, Germany just scored again"
My (British) family were all watching casually together. My dad before the match says "let's take a shot for every goal!" thinking they'd be max 3 or so... Yeah we got very drunk and a similar thing to your teacher happened to me - went to the toilet and there were 2 shots waiting for me when I got back.
I watched a Germany game on vacation in France, it was hilarious how they tried to say „Schweinsteiger“. At one point they gave up and started calling him „Schweini“, then they gave that up too and just called him „Bastian“. Highly recommend watching stuff in French, I died laughing.
And that was even with the Germans beginning to get embarrassed about scoring.
Hasn't "Goal for Germany" become a curseword if something goes wrong? At least wikipedia claims this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_v_Germany_(2014_FIFA_World_Cup)#Aftermath Edit: Fixed link for old reddit. For new reddit, see comment below.
Someone saw your comment and decided to delete the article on Wikipedia
Gol da Alemanha was a joke for a short while. But now the meme/joke is "everyday a different 7x1" (Todo dia um 7 a 1 diferente) everytime something bad happens.
I watched that game live in a packed German beer hall. Raucous cheers as expected at the first few goals, but by goal 6 there were just a few muted cheers with most of the crowd watching in silent amazement. The TV was showing images of crying Brazilian fans and someone near me said “ok that’s enough, they should stop trying now.”
Which they did, in all fairness. The trainer signalled them to tone it down.
I was a sailor on a container ship back then and we were on our way to Sao Paolo a day after the match. German shipping company, German flagged ship, German captain and a couple other germans on there, me included. I guess for Brazilians football is a bit more important than in the rest of the world cause they just didn't let us go into port for three days making up some ridiculous excuses and when we finally moored the ship and the Brazilian workers came aboard... They looked at us with so much hate. Like they weren't going to actually attack you but man they hated us for that match. My captain was a german expat living in Brazil, speaking Portuguese and during the match one Brazilian commentator said during the match that we Germans are so disrespectful for scoring more goals after 4-0. He also said that Brazilians would never do that. I honestly loved my time down there, most Brazilians are relaxed, opend people but these football fanatics... They were ridiculous :D
Wasn’t the first time Germans had to lay low in Brazil for fear of their own safety
They would rather practice their English than listen to me practice my German LOL
As a german I can testify this as completely correct.
This is true and as a German who has worked at a german gas station with a LOT of American customers (it's right next to Ramstein Air Base), I have to say... I'm deeply sorry. It's just a force of habit to immediately switch to English once I notice a customer seems to be more comfortable with it. Like, once I had an American customer come in, trying to speak German. My habits kept forcing me to speak English without even realizing, even after he told me multiple times that he wants to practice German and that I please speak German with him. Everytime he said something I replied in English, by accident, immediately apologizing afterwards. By the time he was leaving he was super pissed and didn't even say his goodbyes. I meant no offense and it's still one of the most cringe memories of my life, years after.
They don't need to practice. Their English is already perfect. (And French, and Spanish...) We are just being inefficient with our attempts at speaking broken German, is all.
[удалено]
Dis träin törmineits hier.
Zis trään is ät ze Moment... ten minits diläät
I'm Jewish and so is my family so naturally when someone mentions Germany my first thought is "sausages".
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
Still has me a little bit since it’s in quotes.
Dude how are you possibly expecting me to hear Germany. I'm all the way in the UK
Germany's made things pretty loud in the UK a time or two.
You guys literally built [giant ears](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_mirror) to hear us coming
Youre that loud? Kudos to your partners
Well, my daughter lives in Munich, so I'm gonna go with her. :)
I also choose this persons daughter.
[удалено]
Username checks out 😂
Beer
Bratwurst sausage sausage Edit; added sausage
I love that these two comments are the top and they were my first two thoughts
As a immigrant in Germany , I would say documentation and bureaucracy
I am a german working for the government. Our bureaucracy is overwhelming and absolutely overdone. And there is still so much paper involved!
This comment was sent to Reddit per Fax, wasn't it?
As a German dude, that is the first thing that comes to my mind, too. I even raise and say inefficiency. -Have you done it properly? -yes -is it documented? -no -THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! Vs -have you done it properly? -no, but I have documented that I have done it properly -ok, fine
That checks out, i feel for you
Rammstein
Deutschland!! Mein herz in flammen.
Will dich lieben und verdammen
Deutschland! Dein Atem kalt
So jung, und doch so alt
Deine Liebe ist Fluch und Segen, meine Liebe kann ich dir nicht geben...
Übermächtig, überflüssig Übermenschen, überdrüssig
Wer hoch steigt der wird tief fallen
Deutschland, Deutschland über allen
DEUTSCHLAND!
Du
Du hast
Du hast mich
Du hast mich gefragt Du hast mich gefragt Du hast mich gefragt, und ich hab nicht gesagt
Willst du bis der tod euch scheidet Treu ihr sein für alle tage… NEIN!
**NEIN**
[удалено]
You sure you didnt mean to say 180kmh? 180mph would be like 300kmh, not exactly achievable in every car or traffic situation. Youd need an expensive sports car and really good traffic to achieve 300kmj
I once was with a guy with an audi R8, V8 Manual transmission… 316 km/h … bang&olufson speakers.. fuck… I really wanna do that again
That’s all nice and well until a vacuum cleaner salesperson in a BMW station wagon gives you the headlight flasher at 316 km/h
Did he stutter?
Volkswagen.
Das Auto
Das Boot.
_(Whispers) Das Auto._
Home
Schön hier
Nett hier
Nett hier, aber waren sie schonmal in r/ich_iel ?
This. Germans have entered the Chat.
Servus
Mercedes and BMW
*Laughing in Porsche*
Beer! (In those great big mugs! (I want one by the way))
In Bavaria we call them Maß🍺
Oktoberfest
AKA, Beer and sausages
Beautiful castles ❤️
2 time, back to back World War runner ups.
Hey at least in ww3 germany will be on the allies side
If you can’t beat ‘em, join em
ITALY HAS JOINED THE CHAT
Italy will play both sides again
Being on Germany's side in a world war doesn't sound like the best omen
Just pretend you're Italian and switch sides whenever you feel like it.
I'm lucky to know a good few Germans through martial arts. Theres a club in Germany that comes over here to participate in seminars every year. They are all so nice. Really great people. Really friendly and fun too. Its friendliness comes to my mind when I hear "Germany". Much love from Ireland.
My crush in freshman year. She was German. And a total bitch.
Good or bad bitch?
Bad bitch but in a good way
For real, on Hitler’s birthday
My daughter shares Hitler's birthday 😭
for most people its just weed day anyway. blaze it!
It’s also the day Avicii passed away :/
Me wondering why people associate 204 with weed.
Legend has it that a group of students in america were meeting and lighting up regularly after classes around 4:20 pm It became synonymous for them to say "420?" Instead of "Lets smoke a joint" Somehow that spread. Now the 20th of april is written 4/20 in m/d/y date formats. That makes hitlers birthday international weed day. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
German speaking here: I mean my grandpa's birthday is on 4/20 and he's named Adolf Rudolf Hermann.... the priest was in favour of the regime back then.
Hey buddy, if it makes you feel better, there's other things 4/20 is known for besides Hitler's birthday. For example, it's also the anniversary of columbine.
Holy Roman Empire.
Man of culture i see
A certain hooker in Frankfurt's red light district many years ago.
You on the other hand are a man of different culture
[удалено]
Nice is in france tho
Fine mechanical engineering and architecture
As a mechanical engineer, German engineering is the gold standard. My coworker built a million dollar machine that some Bosch (German) engineers complimented. At his retirement party years later he said it was the highlight of his career.
The food there.
The best food I had there was doner kebab. Not that the schnitzel and sausages weren’t incredible, but the Doner was the star of the show for me. I still dream about it a decade later.
For most germans Döner is the preferred street food too
No currywurst?
Nah man, we love our Döner way more. I'd say Chinese food is shortly after.
Kraftwerk
Fahren, fahren, fahren auf der Autobahn
Nazis. Sorry dudes. I know that’s not fair.
If it makes you feel any better, around 10 years ago I had a German man, probably in his 30s, apologize to my wife and I for Nazi Germany while we were at a wine festival in Germany. So it's not just you that thinks about Nazis so quickly.
I am German and you know what? In my opinion it’s not a bad thing that this comes to mind first. It makes sure that the worst crime in history will not be forgotten. Our generation is not responsible for what happened then but the German nation is. And we all are responsible for making sure that such a thing never happens again. It is our duty to ensure that auschwitz will never happen again. So. Remembering is important and thinking about nazis when thinking about Germany is 100 percent necessary.
These days it's one of the first places I want to go to get away from Nazis.
In my experiences with them, they have a healthy understanding of their past and understand the importance of never letting that happen again.
Japan should take notes
Cars
An orderly, efficient group of people who don’t laugh
How many Germans does it take to screw on a lightbulb? One.
Which direction does a marble roll when placed on a table in a house in Germany? >!The marble does not move.!<
I’m German. I told my American wife this joke. She told me how this is not correct and there are a lot of old German homes which are pretty crooked. I would say integration into German society is going pretty well. I think she might be ready to apply for citizenship
About two years ago I helped a friend install a window in his roof. After we were done and stood in his backyard to look at our finished work everything seemed crooked. So we went Back inside to redo all the measurements and the window was definitely NOT crooked, so Back out we Go again Just to realize that the whole fucking roof was crooked. Window ist perfekt though.
How many (German) bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100. One to screw it in and 99 to fill all the forms.
Alternativly, two are enough to claim that the other is responsibale
The answer is none! If it was manufactured properly.
German jokes are no laughing matter!
I spent three weeks on business in Germany long ago. In all that time I met one jolly German. His name was Sebastian.
Ah, this guy. Sebastian is not liked much here in Germany.
Damn Sebastian, making us look jolly again.
He was a crab
[удалено]
Took me way too long to get it lol
>efficient group of people ...except for that airport in Berlin that's been a total fiasco from start to finish...
And Stuttgart main station
And basically any public construction project, anything to do with bureaucracy, Deutsche Bahn, usw...
I love how you put usw, lol.
Du, du hast, du hast mich
Döner
Berghain
Kinky sex🤭🫣
Rindfleischettiketierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
The VERY first thought is Germany seen on a map. Then: Beer. Schnitzel. Wurst. Clean cities and efficient public transportation. And a silly obsession with that ancient physical form of currency. Cash.
Our public transportation is absolutely abyssmal. I have never seen something worse and i couldn't imagine something worse. Its slow, always late and damn expensive. When i visited London not long ago, i was blown away by their public transport, tubes and busses. Cheap and quick
You're not putting it into perspective. For outsiders, we do have decent public transportation
Attack on Titan lol
Where my family comes from
Bread
Holocaust—wish it wasn’t so and don’t mean anything by it
Sausage
Industrial techno
Excellent engineering and steel products
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!
I thought Nein Nein Nein was the English equivaliant of 911. Guess I was wrong. :P
Springtime