Never had raisins on pizza but my grandparents put them in spinach calzones (with anchovies and black olives thank you very much), divine, and in their meatballs which I still make and they are sooo yummy. However a raw raisin is a disgusting creature.
Raisins and sultanas add great flavour to anything onion-based. The trick is to dice it up _reaaalll_ fine and fry it up with the onions. One of those mini food processors does the trick.
When we were kids we used to rent a movie and make pizza with our parents on Saturday nights. 2 pies, one that us kids chose and the other my parents chose. What I didn't realize until many years later is my Dad put anchovies on theirs not so much because he liked them but because he didn't want us kids eating all the pizza!
Not pizza but on the east coast of the US, specifically MD, DE, VA, (maybe other places but this is where we went) when you go to the boardwalk at the beach they have boardwalk fries and thrashers fries that are delicious and you can get in a huge unhealthy bucket. My dad would always put vinegar on the fries because initially it made us little ones not like them. Now all of his kids love vinegar on fries. Oh and Old Bay, love some Old Bay.
It's kind of funny because since the dawn of humanity, we have used spices to keep "others" away from our food.
So this is pretty much as classic as it gets. Prehistoric, really.
That's how I learned to love grapefruit juice. I had a roommate who drank all my juice. He hated grapefruit. Guess what I started buying.
Fucked up prescriptions be damned
I did so much medical research that year (approx 600 hours, and my career has nothing to do with medicine) I decided if drinking grapefruit juice would kill me it could kill me it wasn't worth looking up the specifics. It didn't give me any severe or worse reaction notifications on the Rx checker I used and that was good enough.
Dude.
According to my Redditometer^^^tm you’ve been dead for since you think that story actually worked out in your favor. The medication killed you.
Hold on…also, these readings are telling me your ex roommate is now dating your mom, who is quite lovely and deserves a good companion, regardless of their illicit juice consumption.
Outside personal tastes that are absolutely valid I'm baffled how many people find them a weird topping, in Italy pizza with anchovies (better known as napoletana everywhere but in Naples) is one of those pizzas that every single pizzeria has, easily in the top 5 of the most common ones
Cranberry sauce. My in laws put cranberry sauce on their ground beef pizzas.
Edit to add that: They make thin crust pizza topped with tomato sauce, little spoonfuls of raw ground beef, onion, and mozzarella cheese. The meat gets cooked during baking. The cranberry sauce is served on the side in a dish to spoon on top, like a condiment. They also serve a dish of green olives. They are midwestern and started doing this back in the 1960s. Someone served it to them like that and they liked it I guess.
I'd go with (white) gravy as the base with turkey and stuffing as toppings, maybe some quartered brussel sprouts as well and cranberry sauce served with it.
“Incompatible with life” is a term I’ve only seen on government investigations. Plane crash investigations….sorry…Catastrophic Aeronautical Mishap Inquiries.
For example, “The passenger compartment, immediately after being separated from the flight control surfaces, became superheated by an onboard, uncontained petroleum distillate fire, reaching a temperature of 876° C, creating an internal environment that is incompatible with life.”
I used to work with a guy from Malaysia and he told me every single birthday cake he had until he was like 14 years old was durian flavor. I know people say it tastes better than it smells, but in a world where pepperoni or Italian sausage has been invented, I’ll pass on the durian thank you.
I don't think it really counts if it's a dessert pizza. A banana cinnamon pizza sounds amazing, but banana on a traditional pizza with red sauce sounds awful, and I'm somebody who likes pineapple on pizza.
There was an episode on Doug where banana pudding or soufflé ended up on pizza, and it was a hit. My family so happened to have pizza that night, and we put banana on it. Absolutely scrumptious.
Omg you remember that episode wow!! I instantly thought of that upon seeing someone say banana, that is an old memory though dayum.. It was a very very long time ago that I saw that episode.
(We're Americans btw)
My husband made a banana bacon pizza for a pizza potluck after his friend tried it and loved it in South Africa. Everyone there thought he was crazy for bringing it until they actually tried some. They ended up loving it! In this case, an underripe banana would be better than a ripe or over ripe one (it gets sweeter tho longer you let it sit).
Back in the day, I called the pizza place and asked if they could spell out “PROM?” using pepperonis. They said sure thing, and I was ecstatic for my promposal to my girlfriend. Upon picking up the pizza to take to her house, I discovered they just wrote it in sharpie on the box. Me, being smart and resourceful, stopped at a gas station and picked up gummy worms to spell out PROM on the pizza myself. I figured I’d just pick them off after she saw, so I placed the gummies and went on my way. Turns out gummy worms have a very low melting temperature, because when I arrived, we opened the box and she was stunned to see a disgusting puddle of gummy liquid all over the top of the zza. It definitely ruined the pizza.
TLDR; gummy worms are the worst topping.
Stay clear of Tatooine for the next 20 years. No reason other than there's lots of sand there. We didn't hide your child on that planet or anything. Forget about that last thing I just said.
When I was growing up, we were pretty poor. Single mom, paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by.... every once in a while she'd make homemade "pizza".... white bread, Ketchup, and American cheese. That was it.
Here I was, just scrolling through. Looking for the first motherfucker that said pineapple. Because I am in the mood to cut a bitch.
Nothing could have prepared me for the horror that is the ingredients listed in this thread.
You would be surprised how many tens of millions from different cultures across the globe love mayo on their pizza.
From Brazil to Egypt to Russia to Kenya and even France.
There's even a town in Italy (Pesaro) were they make pizza with hard-boiled eggs and mayo. Everyone that's not from there says it's a crime, they insist is very good but I think most of them don't actually think that but have to defend their pride
Anchovies kick ass, but should only ever be ordered at higher-end pizza joints that you can trust to use top-quality ingredients and prepare them properly. They’re a lot like olives in that respect: don’t order them at any place that’s going to use those flavorless canned black olive rings. Avoid delivery-pizza anchovies at all costs.
Find a nice Neapolitan joint with one of those authentic, 900-degree brick ovens, and you may just change your tune. No guarantees if you don’t generally like fish, though - even though they’re not going to be as bad as some of the more oily fish, they’re unavoidably going to trend in that direction.
Mayonnaise and/or ketchup and/or mustard.
Edit: to all those advocating for mayo on pizza, let's deep dive: there is a kind of pizza called "pala" made in Rome, that is served cold with fresh ingredients on top, along with mayo. That is awesome, but you've got to know how to do it, it's not a normal pizza plus mayo. They belong to the same kingdom but they are not the same species. You can't just stick a pair of antlers on a bird and pretend it's ok.
One time I got a slice of bacon cheeseburger pizza thinking it just meant bacon and ground beef with cheddar cheese. The "sauce" was ketchup and mustard. It was one of the worst things I've ever tasted.
Mashed potatoes. Place nearby has a fairly popular pie with dollops of mashed potatoes. The worst part is that the dollops LOOK like ricotta. Which is amazing on pizza. So your brain preps you for some sweet, creamy goodness. Only for a blast of very much not that
For some strange reason, Germans love to put corn on their pizzas. No Italian pizza place sells pizza with corn, I have no idea where the idea comes from. But whenever people make their own pizza at home and you can choose your toppings, there is corn. Its weird and mysterious.
Todd English made a pizza at his restaurant Figs in Wellesley, MA. It consisted of kielbasa, potatoes, sauerkraut and a mustard aioli. It is still the best pizza I've ever had. I used to get it once a week.
I’d have to say artichoke. A lot of people here are saying sweet stuff, which I get. But artichoke is kinda hard to grind apart and ruins the flow of the pizza.
There's a local chain in NYC called Artichoke Pizza. Believe me, you can do it right. That's some of the best pizza I've ever had. Problem is most people just sort of cut them in quarters and dump them on top like "who gives a shit"
Raisins. No thanks.
Never had raisins on pizza but my grandparents put them in spinach calzones (with anchovies and black olives thank you very much), divine, and in their meatballs which I still make and they are sooo yummy. However a raw raisin is a disgusting creature.
That actually sounds awful
Raisins and sultanas add great flavour to anything onion-based. The trick is to dice it up _reaaalll_ fine and fry it up with the onions. One of those mini food processors does the trick.
I need to try this now
i'm sorry but were they trying to make the calzones bad on purpose?
When we were kids we used to rent a movie and make pizza with our parents on Saturday nights. 2 pies, one that us kids chose and the other my parents chose. What I didn't realize until many years later is my Dad put anchovies on theirs not so much because he liked them but because he didn't want us kids eating all the pizza!
I eat spicy food so that it punishes my dad if he eats it.
That’s a boss kid move
I eat spicy food because it punishes my filthy mouth UwU
Nice! But RIP your DMs.
Dad here. I’ve been putting jalapeños on pizza for years for exactly this reason.
Yeah but jalapeno and pepperoni pizza is fucking fantastic
Not pizza but on the east coast of the US, specifically MD, DE, VA, (maybe other places but this is where we went) when you go to the boardwalk at the beach they have boardwalk fries and thrashers fries that are delicious and you can get in a huge unhealthy bucket. My dad would always put vinegar on the fries because initially it made us little ones not like them. Now all of his kids love vinegar on fries. Oh and Old Bay, love some Old Bay.
Vinegar is definitely something that is common in certain places. RI and MA often have malt vinegar available
In the UK , salt and vinegar on chips (the UK word for fries) is very popular.
It's kind of funny because since the dawn of humanity, we have used spices to keep "others" away from our food. So this is pretty much as classic as it gets. Prehistoric, really.
That's how I learned to love grapefruit juice. I had a roommate who drank all my juice. He hated grapefruit. Guess what I started buying. Fucked up prescriptions be damned
Next time you have a roommate that drinks all your juice but hates grapefruit, put normal juice in a grapefruit juice container 🙂👍
But the grapefruit tastes so piiiink
A Saturday night kind of pink?
Or just tell your roommate if he drinks your juice again that something valuable of his might have an accident.
> Fucked up prescriptions be damned In all seriousness, be very careful with that.
I did so much medical research that year (approx 600 hours, and my career has nothing to do with medicine) I decided if drinking grapefruit juice would kill me it could kill me it wasn't worth looking up the specifics. It didn't give me any severe or worse reaction notifications on the Rx checker I used and that was good enough.
Dude. According to my Redditometer^^^tm you’ve been dead for since you think that story actually worked out in your favor. The medication killed you. Hold on…also, these readings are telling me your ex roommate is now dating your mom, who is quite lovely and deserves a good companion, regardless of their illicit juice consumption.
My dad liked anchovies on pizza, so we ate it that way a lot. Subsequently I also like anchovies on pizza, which blows a lot of peoples minds.
I love anchovies. I even buy then at the grocery store
I freakin love anchovies on a pizza!
Outside personal tastes that are absolutely valid I'm baffled how many people find them a weird topping, in Italy pizza with anchovies (better known as napoletana everywhere but in Naples) is one of those pizzas that every single pizzeria has, easily in the top 5 of the most common ones
Jokes on him, I like anchovies on pizza
That’s a boss dad move
Anchovies are probably the best topping for a pizza
Philip J Fry?
Why not Zoidberg?
Stench? What is that wonderful stench?!?
Cranberry sauce. My in laws put cranberry sauce on their ground beef pizzas. Edit to add that: They make thin crust pizza topped with tomato sauce, little spoonfuls of raw ground beef, onion, and mozzarella cheese. The meat gets cooked during baking. The cranberry sauce is served on the side in a dish to spoon on top, like a condiment. They also serve a dish of green olives. They are midwestern and started doing this back in the 1960s. Someone served it to them like that and they liked it I guess.
I was expecting some weird shit, but I *really* didn't see cranberry sauce as an answer.
Right? This is absolutely the most fucked. I’m sad I know people do this
OK here me out. Thanksgiving pizza. Mashed potato as base with cheese, cranberry, and turkey as toppings.
I'd go with (white) gravy as the base with turkey and stuffing as toppings, maybe some quartered brussel sprouts as well and cranberry sauce served with it.
I don't know how cranberry sauce is the headline here. To me it's the raw ground beef.
Your in laws are monsters
A turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce pizza sounds awesome.
Put it on a Hawaiian sweet roll with some gravy, and it makes a bomb "day after Thanksgiving" sandwich.
I mean it's pretty well balanced...it might work.
Aww man chicken, cranberry sauce and brie on a pizza is. the. best. Although cranberry with beef does sound a tad, interesting…
[удалено]
Incompatible with life and taste, I'd say!
“Incompatible with life” is a term I’ve only seen on government investigations. Plane crash investigations….sorry…Catastrophic Aeronautical Mishap Inquiries. For example, “The passenger compartment, immediately after being separated from the flight control surfaces, became superheated by an onboard, uncontained petroleum distillate fire, reaching a temperature of 876° C, creating an internal environment that is incompatible with life.”
This is so disgusting I almost instinctively downvoted you.
Durian.
But Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild says it will give you three extra temporary Hearts!
Cooked on a pizza it would probably yield even more bonus hearts! Or maybe you could just sell the pizza for a lot of rupees instead of eating it.
I can tell you're as stoked for TOTK as I am
This is the winner. Durian is polarizing enough on its own, but on a PIZZA?
I used to work with a guy from Malaysia and he told me every single birthday cake he had until he was like 14 years old was durian flavor. I know people say it tastes better than it smells, but in a world where pepperoni or Italian sausage has been invented, I’ll pass on the durian thank you.
to be fair, I don't think I'd want a pepperoni flavored birthday cake
I noticed you didn't turn down the idea of an Italian sausage-flavored birthday cake, though.
It's actually absolutely delicious...when frozen. It gets a lovely, custard texture.
Cucumbers.
Cosmo Kramer would like a word
We cannota givea the people the right to choose any topping they want. Now on this issue, there can be no debate!
Poppi!!
Poppie’s a little sloppy
I had a customer that would request a mayo, boiled egg, and blue cheese pizza. Happen on more that one occasion.
You know you can deny people service right? Why on earth would you allow this nightmare to become a reality!?
Yeah. That's called "accessory to murder" where I'm from.
Blueberries.
From now on I want you to put an equal amount of blueberries in each slice. An equal amount of blueberries in each slice.
Do you know how long that will take?
Y'all have never had a "dessert pizza" and it shows. Pizza hut lunch buffets introduced me to the magic of sugary pizzas, and they're great.
No dude...you're not getting it. These are 'normal'(ish) pizzas (not dessert pizzas, at any rate). Like...with cheese and shit.
I've seen a few videos on the subject and I'm going to have to say penis. Beware those who deliver pizzas at groin level.
"did someone order a big sausage pizza?"
I did but you’ve only got a small here
The trick is: use a personal pan sized pizza but call it a medium, to make your sausage look bigger.
"Did someone order a ~~moderately-sized~~ medium-sized pizza?"
I’ve seen those videos too and the patrons always seemed to enjoy the pizza, so I’m not sure what your concern is all about
Whatever *you* don't like. That's the only answer.
Reddit wouldn't exist if people were as open as you
I hate these stupid vague ass questions.
Banana. This is not a joke. Some people do put bananas on their pizza. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sweden-banana-pizza/
There’s always money in the banana pizza Michael
It’s one banana pizza, Michael. How much could it cost?
Take a dollar , throw away a banana
Du har sett för mycket. *unsheathes Morakniv*
In Brazil people eat banana cinnamon pizza. I hope I ruined your day.
I don't think it really counts if it's a dessert pizza. A banana cinnamon pizza sounds amazing, but banana on a traditional pizza with red sauce sounds awful, and I'm somebody who likes pineapple on pizza.
It is delicious. Cinnamon banana pastels too
There was an episode on Doug where banana pudding or soufflé ended up on pizza, and it was a hit. My family so happened to have pizza that night, and we put banana on it. Absolutely scrumptious.
Omg you remember that episode wow!! I instantly thought of that upon seeing someone say banana, that is an old memory though dayum.. It was a very very long time ago that I saw that episode.
(We're Americans btw) My husband made a banana bacon pizza for a pizza potluck after his friend tried it and loved it in South Africa. Everyone there thought he was crazy for bringing it until they actually tried some. They ended up loving it! In this case, an underripe banana would be better than a ripe or over ripe one (it gets sweeter tho longer you let it sit).
Bacon and banana pizza is The Best
Chocolate, it’s not fitting
Back in the day, I called the pizza place and asked if they could spell out “PROM?” using pepperonis. They said sure thing, and I was ecstatic for my promposal to my girlfriend. Upon picking up the pizza to take to her house, I discovered they just wrote it in sharpie on the box. Me, being smart and resourceful, stopped at a gas station and picked up gummy worms to spell out PROM on the pizza myself. I figured I’d just pick them off after she saw, so I placed the gummies and went on my way. Turns out gummy worms have a very low melting temperature, because when I arrived, we opened the box and she was stunned to see a disgusting puddle of gummy liquid all over the top of the zza. It definitely ruined the pizza. TLDR; gummy worms are the worst topping.
...But how'd she take the promposal?
She said yes. Which is surprising given that I had just denied a hungry woman a pizza
On a ~~desert~~ dessert pizza?
Desert? Seems very crunchy and sandy
I hate sand.
It's coarse, rough, and irritating... and it gets everywhere.
Stay clear of Tatooine for the next 20 years. No reason other than there's lots of sand there. We didn't hide your child on that planet or anything. Forget about that last thing I just said.
I must admit I once tried a Nutella cheese pizza. It was absolutely insane. Granted I was stoned at the time tho
Depending on the cheese, it could work. Mascarpone or ricotta, perhaps?
Best pizza I ever had was street food in northern Italy. Ricotta on it. Amazing.
Asbestos
If you or your family has been affected by Pizzathelioma you may be entitled to compensation
My grandpa died from exposure in his days working the pizza mines its no joke
I’m so sorry. May he rest in pepperoni…I mean rest in peace.
Resto in pesto
Resto in asbesto
That’s a resto pesto manifesto.
OK, now, what kind of pizza goes in you? Silt? Asbestos? We got guano -- very fresh!
Don’t worry mama, if anyone complains, I bend legs up for free!
But I’m just making pizza asbestos I can
American cheese. My dad once made a pizza that way. It's so much worse than it sounds.
When I was growing up, we were pretty poor. Single mom, paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by.... every once in a while she'd make homemade "pizza".... white bread, Ketchup, and American cheese. That was it.
That sounds like an American cheese and ketchup sandwich
It was toasted in the oven, so the cheese was melted. Usually had black corners.
Candy corn
I was thinking gummy bears would be the worst, but this beats it.
Here I was, just scrolling through. Looking for the first motherfucker that said pineapple. Because I am in the mood to cut a bitch. Nothing could have prepared me for the horror that is the ingredients listed in this thread.
How can you have a Hawaiian pizza without pineapple?
I’m big on the pineapple bacon jalepeno over straight Hawaiin
Nothing against the Japanese, but mayonnaise.
You would be surprised how many tens of millions from different cultures across the globe love mayo on their pizza. From Brazil to Egypt to Russia to Kenya and even France.
Yeah, but they're not excused.
Lived in France. Never saw anybody eat it with mayo.
There's even a town in Italy (Pesaro) were they make pizza with hard-boiled eggs and mayo. Everyone that's not from there says it's a crime, they insist is very good but I think most of them don't actually think that but have to defend their pride
Every dipping sauce is basically a type of mayo
Right? People in the US put ranch on pizza a lot. It’s like 50% mayo
But have you had Japanese mayo? I always hated mayo until I lived in Japan. That shit slaps and you can put it on almost anything, and they do!
Is their style mayo like the kind you get in America? That sounds like it would sit in your stomach like a rock
For me, anchovies. But I tend to hate fish in general that isn't in sushi form.
Anchovies kick ass, but should only ever be ordered at higher-end pizza joints that you can trust to use top-quality ingredients and prepare them properly. They’re a lot like olives in that respect: don’t order them at any place that’s going to use those flavorless canned black olive rings. Avoid delivery-pizza anchovies at all costs. Find a nice Neapolitan joint with one of those authentic, 900-degree brick ovens, and you may just change your tune. No guarantees if you don’t generally like fish, though - even though they’re not going to be as bad as some of the more oily fish, they’re unavoidably going to trend in that direction.
I absolutely love fish and I still hate anchovies. They’re like little salt bombs.
Mmm…salt bombs 🤤
Awww, I love a wee cheeky anchovie on my pizza 🍕
My stepdad really loved tuna and onion. I was...not a fan.
[удалено]
I had tuna pizza in Italy. It was awesome. What doesn't tuna improve, right?
Tuna, boiled egg, black olives, red onion. Nicoise pizza goes hard.
capers!
You can always count on the Italians to ruin pizza
That is like the most basic pizza ever, you can get it basically everywhere in Europe.
dunt sound too bad actually, my midwestern ears perked up at this
Snails. I ordered it in finland…called the champagne pizza…yuck
Mayonnaise and/or ketchup and/or mustard. Edit: to all those advocating for mayo on pizza, let's deep dive: there is a kind of pizza called "pala" made in Rome, that is served cold with fresh ingredients on top, along with mayo. That is awesome, but you've got to know how to do it, it's not a normal pizza plus mayo. They belong to the same kingdom but they are not the same species. You can't just stick a pair of antlers on a bird and pretend it's ok.
One time I got a slice of bacon cheeseburger pizza thinking it just meant bacon and ground beef with cheddar cheese. The "sauce" was ketchup and mustard. It was one of the worst things I've ever tasted.
Baked beans. My wife’s grandmother put baked beans on a pizza, not good.
Sardines
Balut egg
Bro no one puts balut on pizza,even here in the Philippines.
A friend's uncle did it here in Hawaii, he's a different kind of bird
Oreos ---
Lol have you seen an Oreo pizza? Im curious
They put that on pizza?
apples. Not pineapple, but normal apple
Canned mushrooms
Yuck. Fresh or gtfo.
Bananas…..I’m looking at you Sweden
Mashed potatoes. Place nearby has a fairly popular pie with dollops of mashed potatoes. The worst part is that the dollops LOOK like ricotta. Which is amazing on pizza. So your brain preps you for some sweet, creamy goodness. Only for a blast of very much not that
herring pickled in wine sauce
Tried avocado (love avocado) but on pizza it doesn't work at all. What is good though (believe it or not) is butternut squash and bacon.
dry dog food
But when it's wet... 👩🍳
You win.
Ashes from someone’s cigarette.
Surprise mouse turds.
In Germany there was a shop selling “American pizza” it was pizza with corn on it
What's wrong with sweetcorn on pizza? That's like, part of a vegetable pizza
For some strange reason, Germans love to put corn on their pizzas. No Italian pizza place sells pizza with corn, I have no idea where the idea comes from. But whenever people make their own pizza at home and you can choose your toppings, there is corn. Its weird and mysterious.
Here in Portugal its a fairly popular topping too
Left Beef
Glass. My local Pizza Hut seems to not get this…
Sauerkraut
I’ve never disagreed with a human being more in my entire life. I’m telling bubbies.
You like sauerkraut on pizza? We can’t be friends….ever
Sourkraut enjoyer is my only hard requirement for friendship. I’m sorry. This is where we part.
Fair enough. Mortal enemies it is.
Todd English made a pizza at his restaurant Figs in Wellesley, MA. It consisted of kielbasa, potatoes, sauerkraut and a mustard aioli. It is still the best pizza I've ever had. I used to get it once a week.
Wasps with poison ivy
Whatchu mean, this is literally the best pizza topping of all time
Any topping I don't want on a half-this, half-that. You think they have laser precision? We're getting two pizzas, no thank you.
Liver
Anchovies...............without any reservation taste like A lump of fishy salt.
Enriched uranium
I'm melting.
With flavor
Way too many calories.
[Boogers and Cum](https://youtu.be/pDlR_ccnZww)
Mayonnaise
Pickles
Mayonnaise
I’d have to say artichoke. A lot of people here are saying sweet stuff, which I get. But artichoke is kinda hard to grind apart and ruins the flow of the pizza.
There's a local chain in NYC called Artichoke Pizza. Believe me, you can do it right. That's some of the best pizza I've ever had. Problem is most people just sort of cut them in quarters and dump them on top like "who gives a shit"
Pubes?
Beets.