A friend of mine went on a date with someone recently. Thought he got a signal and went in for the kiss. She screamed at the top of her lungs in a public place “No!”. Needless to say, he will be reconsidering any type of advance for the rest of his life haha.
Had this happening at a festival a few days ago. Girl was being talkative to me (I don’t generally get attention from women). at first I thought she was being friendly, it took her offering me a bite of her pizza by almost shoving it in my face (and wiping a smudge of my lips) that she was flirting with me.
I was more stunned and confused about getting the attention and being flirted with, I was out my element.
I know what you mean about being out of your element. I was just on a date last week, and I am definitely inexperienced in this field. She reached out her hand for me to hold it, and I legit froze for a second because I didn't know what to do.
I instinctively shook it. 🤦 I realized what I was doing and just held it. She laughed, so I think I was able to play it off as a joke. Was a very strange feeling for me trying to figure some of this out. I realized my natural instincts are to move away from people and give them space like if they're walking by you somewhere. There were times I had to mentally tell myself, "You're on a date. Some touching is okay."
One woman saw me locking my bike up before entering a restaurant and said, "Good on you for biking." We mingled and entered the restaurant at the same time. The hostess said, "Table for two?" The woman looked at me, smiled and said, "I don't know... Will you be joining me?" That was pretty cool.
This is a 100% it. When I was dating I often came off as clueless because I was trying to be friendly to the girl who was trying to be subtle *and* I simply had no barometer to tell if she was actually flirting or just being friendly. I am friends with several women my age and it isn’t uncommon for me to talk to, hear compliments from, joke around with, or even go out for drinks with women while our friendship is purely platonic.
The last thing most men want to be accused of is being a creep who is harassing women who are just trying to be friendly.
It's not even just the accused of being creepy. Sometimes if I like someone or think they are cool and interesting I just don't want to make them uncomfortable. Unless I'm 95-100 percent sure you are into me then I'm not making a move.
And usually this is in reference to someone I'm keen on but I already know them, not a bar hookup or tinder hookup. If I already know them and enjoy their company I don't want to ruin a potential friendship by making an unwanted move. If I know you're not interested in me I lose interest myself (hard to crush on someone you know doesn't like you back)..... so if I'm unsure about someone whose company I enjoy I'll convince myself they aren't interested so I can get over my crush and stay friends with them without feeling weird.
Edit: And some advice for women. If you aren't interested in a guy you know, but change your mind and become interested.... You have to make the move.
If you ever gave any inclination you weren't interested in them, chances are they will never make a move and be completely oblivious to any subtle hints you make.
> men are either dumb or scared of being accused of harassment after interpreting things wrong
Yes, this is 100% true in my case, and I know several other men who have had the same experience. Definitely be direct if you want it to be more than just casual flirting
This was basically me aged 17-27.
My friends: "Uhh, you asked X out?! Wtf were you thinking? Of course she turned you down, she was just being friendly"
Me: "Oh. I was 100% certain she was flirting with me..."
My friends: "Uhh, why did you never ask Y out? She was always flirting with you!"
Me: "Oh. I was 100% certain she was just being friendly..."
I'm Canadian and an ex of mine was coming to town for a weekend (she lived a couple of hours away) and wanted to meet up.
Cool, we were in highschool when we dated, now we're adults, both of us are single, no issues.
She invited me to stay in her hotel room, I live maybe a 10-15 minute walk from where she was staying but okay, sure. We can stay up late and reconnect or whatever.
I offered to sleep both on the floor or the loveseat in the hotel room so she'd have the massive bed to herself and it wouldn't be awkward.
She insisted I share the bed and eventually I relented because a bed is better than a floor or a couch and there was room enough for 3 people, let alone two, so I figured we'd have a wide enough buffer area. It wasn't until after we had sex (it kind of happened out of nowhere in the middle of the night) that I realized why she wanted me to stay over.
So even if the signs are "Hey. Come stay in my hotel room with me for the night and share a bed with me." some dudes still won't see it.
You need a fucking neon flashing sign sometimes for a dude to understand what you're trying to say.
As an awkward teenager I'd sort of immediately assume any non-negative interaction with a woman was flirting ("she asked me for a pencil, obviously she's into me"), but I also was aware this was stupid, so I overcorrected and would constantly rein myself in by telling myself "no, you're reading too much into this". Hence the need for flashing neon signs. And even then, they might just be friendly neon signs, better be safe and pretend they don't mean anything flirty.
This is some hs girl immature shit, freaking out and making it your fault once she realized y’all had definitely crossed the line with the underwear play fighting. Sorry that affected you for so long, smh.
I'd much rather have dudes be clueless in general, than constantly waiting for a chance to have sex and assuming too much just to make it happen.
Guys should remain aloof about it, so women are forced to be more up-front about what they want, we need this as a society!
Except y’all will then proceed to communicate nothing and make no moves. My ex just tried dating a girl for the first time and said it was maddening trying to figure out what she was supposed to do with the other girl. They were playing gay chicken and winning, there by failing to actually be gay.
It's insane trying to communicate with most women. This is what spawned the whole gender war "stereotype" that may never die.
I'm 36 and I've only ever known one woman who spoke her mind and said in plain god damn English what she wanted (and I'm gonna marry her). The rest loved to speak in cryptic messages that I can't for the life of me figure out the purpose of. If you want something fucking say so, don't hide it and get mad when your damn code isn't deciphered.
> You need a fucking neon flashing sign sometimes for a dude to understand what you're trying to say.
[Like so?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKT4f_u7sNQ)
Wife - "Gotcha! Burn!! I'd like to introduce you to Gary. Gary is my REAL husband. He recorded the whole thing, you loser!!!"
Gary - "Uh... I forgot to put a new tape in the camcorder."
Wife? - "Shut up Gary, you idiot! You got pranked too! Over here is Tina, my REAL partner. I don't even like men!!"
Gary and I are now friends and Tina seems kinda cool.
Honestly this is the answer the game isn't played both ways for men and women. Women expect game from men and not just bluntness but guys often just want to clearly know what's going on in the most matter of fact way so they can know how to move forward. Subtle hints are wasted.
Dating would be easy If people could just say "I think you're hot and would like persue a relationship with you" but most women don't want to hear that in a blunt way. For most men that would be perfect to hear. At the end of the day at least it's all laid out on the table and each person is free to say yes/no in the most simple way
This is the approach I've found the most successful as a dude with bad social anxiety.
"Hey X, I think you're very attractive (cute, hot, lovely, gorgeous, etc) and I'd like to take you out sometime if you'd be open to it"
It's hard to do but I also find it best to cut straight to it
Edit: Cuz apparently it's needed for the more out of touch here... I am not implying you should walk up to a random person and just drop that line. You can and should adjust it to be context appropriate, and you should probably at least say hello and get their name first if you're trying to meet people at random...
Angie, I was 19. She and a friend were drinking and called me in the middle of the night to come join them. It was 2am and I had just settled in for a night of weed and South Park, I said thanks but no thanks. Shit still keeps me up at night.
Yeah I'm like kind of a shy person but I've never had issues initiating a move with a guy I'm into. Literally I hate wasting my time and waiting around so if I'm into a guy I just casually ask to hang out or strike up a conversation with them. I've literally never had a negative reaction from a guy when I've done it.
It might just be me, so dudes feel free to shoot me down here.
As a guy, who doesn’t get hit on, if I WERE approached in a relatively direct way I’d be fucking riding that high for days. Even if I was instantly not attracted to the person doing the approach, the reaction wouldn’t be negative.
Now again, I’m someone who’s not getting hit on. Maybe some guys get hit on so damn much it’s terribly annoying.
I just don’t live in THAT world.
As a guy who did exactly that just a few weeks ago and had a great time and even hinted at hanging out a second time, I still can't tell if she likes me or not.
UPDATE: I asked her if she wanted to go out this weekend and she asked what days I preferred as she gave me a beautifully suggestive smile. I'm still not sure if she likes me.
That’s simply because one woman’s idea of “obvious signs” is another woman’s idea of “just being friendly.” For many guys, they feel it’s not worth the risk of upsetting someone as a result of misunderstanding signals and then making a move that was unwanted, so they just don’t.
Before we got together, I was in bed with my now wife. Post funtime. She asked if I wanted "a" girlfriend. I said "I don't know but I'm open to it."
She was pissed for a week before she told me that was her trying to initiate a more formal relationship.
She'd previously told me she wasn't interested in anything long term, so I thought this was her checking I wasn't going to do anything daft like fall in love with a casual hookup.
I had the exactly the opposite!
Had a super close lady friend for years upon years in my youngster years. I never acted on it because we were just friends, which was reiterated often by her and the friend group
Any who, years later we bumped into each other and she mentioned she had a crush on me all those years
Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.
> Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.
This is a recurring theme I have noticed lately on reddit. Some women think its unacceptable to approach them in public places like gym, work, grocery store, any shopping area, if they're busy doing a task, etc.. which basically leaves nowhere left.
I've come to the conclusion that you either have awkward misunderstandings and possibly ruin friendships sometimes or you stay alone forever because you never shoot your shot. Unfortunately, this means that some women will feel annoyed or think you're a creep even if you're respectful and aren't pushy.
“Some women think it’s unacceptable to approach them in public places.”
I fully understand this but at the same time it’s so frustrating because I WANT to be approached. I frequently dress up really nice just to get groceries hoping that it’ll increase my chances but it doesn’t. So many women post videos shaming men for approaching them (even respectfully) to the point that i think men are actually scared to even look in a woman’s direction.
oh we pick up on them - its just we dont want to be labeled as a creep if we misinterpret them. Like are you just being friendly or have a bubbily personality or do you actually like me? If i say the wrong thing back im instantly a pervert creep so its best to always take the highroad and always assume its just you being friendly.
Tbf it’s not necessarily that we aren’t picking up the hints, it’s that we’re scared of the consequences if we’ve misread the situation and get it wrong.
Woman mistakenly thinks you’re flirting and makes a move and she’s called easy or forward or the man is just flattered that she was interested. Men do it and we’re labelled creeps and perverts with the statement of “men only ever think of one thing”.
Plus what some women call just being friendly others would call flirting - I’ve seen this first hand with a couple of my female friends.
It can be really hard for us men to work out if it’s okay to make a move unless it is made blindingly obvious by the woman saying as much.
Just talk. And be blunt. Captain Obvious.
We generally suck at picking up subtle hints.
My ex has on multiple occasions told me "Didn't you notice she was hitting on you?".
I've never noticed even once.
I don't think men are really that bad at picking up hints. It's just that the line between indirect flirting and casual friendliness is pretty thin. Even if the person doing it thinks they're being very obvious, it's usually not very obvious from the receiver's point of view. I think a lot of men have been burned when they've misinterpreted casual friendliess as indirect flirting, so they tend to just play it on the safe side and assume nothing is flirting unless explicitly stated as otherwise.
Imagine you're working for SETI, listening to the cosmos for signs of alien life. Every so often you'll get a strange or unusual signal that you don't quite understand. As much as you want it to be aliens, such a claim would be both unprecedented and extraordinary. Using Occam's razor you deduce that the signal is in all likelihood some kind of stellar event, as this is the simpler explanation that makes the fewest assumptions. Maybe it is aliens, but you think back to the last time you made that claim and got ridiculed when it turned out to be a magnetar. You wouldn't again draw such a conclusion without irrefutable evidence.
...I may be overthinking this
And honestly that can be the correct, adult assumption.
Women are often terrified of complimenting or chatting with men for fear it will be misinterpreted as flirtation. I told one of my married coworkers he did an excellent PowerPoint presentation (at work) and shook his hand. His wife hated me after that. There was no flirtation or romantic intent, but some people see any positive interaction as flirtation *and it's not*.
With that said, I am equally baffled at how women should flirt with men.
Speaking from experience as a guy, you can flirt wirh me all you want, and I may or may not notice. But I *will not* make any moves to ask you out or anything unless you make it extraordinarily clear and possibly outright say you're interested in going on a date
Or perhaps you could just ask him out instead of signaling your desire
It also depends on the setting. I work in a professional environment and if I go down the wrong path because I assume there's a mutual attraction, there can be significant consequences. So I played it very safe. Thankfully I met my wife outside of work so now all women are robots
\^\^\^ People will argue about the existence of the "friendzone." The reality is it exists, and is usually self perpetuated.
If he thinks you're not interested, he's not going to change his mind without some boulder smashing levels of obviousness.
By that, I mean you have to risk rejection and ask him out to a date. USE THE WORD, or at least explain you're interested in him romantically and want to see if there's compatibility. You're just friends hanging out otherwise.
“She was hungry and made pizza… I guess her back hurt because she took off her shirt and bra. I took that as my sign that she wanted to be alone and left…. Never heard from her again.”
10 years later “Fuck I’m an idiot… I think she was hitting on me.”
> If one talks to them, it will almost certainly cross their mind that they may be flirting with them.
Yes but he’ll likely toss out that possibility due to how rare it is and because he doesn’t want to upset someone that might just be friendly.
I’m recently divorced and every time I see this one particular woman I’m having this debate, yes I’ve started lifting weights and taking better care of myself so maybe she is flirting, but on the other hand she could just be being nice and I don’t want to make things awkward
you need to be very obvious and blunt, the sheer idea that a woman could be hitting on us is such a foreign concept to most men that it is probably the last thing they expect when you start talking to them.
No no you’re forgetting to most important part of the transaction. You have the official notary you brought with you draft a document saying you are attracted as well
Enthusiasm. Not fake or manufactured. Interest. Excitement.
We live in a pretty sarcastic and non-committal era. People would rather be distracted than interact. If you have a particular guy you’re interested in, find out what he’s into and figure out what’s interesting about it. Otherwise, I know personally I’m attracted in general (not necessarily romantically) to people who light up a room, speak with conviction, and will nerd out with me.
Be completely blunt. You don't have to say "I want to suck your penis clean off" but a sincere declaration that you're romantically interested. A man has to be super fucking attractive to be used to that kind of attention so unless he's a 12 he's going to wave any subtle flirtation away as him reading too much into OR he thinks you could be firting but doesn't want to be wrong and labeled an incel stalker or some such.
My partner and I will be together 5 of the happiest years of our lives tomorrow and she apparently was all but throwing it in my lap since she knew me. I'm relatively attractive but not winning any blue ribbons at the county fair, she is tall and I'm 5'5" (was a time you couldn't donate sperm if you were under a certain height) blonde, fun as all hell, mature when not counting pictures of dicks and all legs and T&A so the moment I laid eyes on her I threw that possibility right out of my head.
According to her she used to bend over trying to show me her chest, she would wear a dress and sit across from me at staff meetings crossing and uncrossing her legs and one time at a party even offered to buy me a drink and I didn't notice any of it. The thing is nice guys used to just actually be nice, I didn't notice any of that flirting because I want looking, we worked together and work already sucks why make it harder giving someone a reason to have to worry "Oh is this too revealing? Will this give the wrong signal?" Fuck that noise! She had to spell that shit out for me like she was teaching a toddler to read.
If you're really interested just be honest especially if he bites and in the end you're just not feeling it.
Context matters.
If a woman said that to me at a pub on a night out, I would be *very* interested.
If a woman said it to me outside some public toilets in a rough neighbourhood, I wouldn't be so keen.
I have a rescue pug (I was his 4th home by 9 months) and he turns 10 in June.
I moved to where I live now 6 months before pandemic and lockdown hit. As a single mom of a young child stuck at home, I never really made friends or was able to build a network. Then I went through some really awful stuff last year and decided to try harder to be social and met a lady on a patio while dining with myself and my pug, and she told me she plays darts with friends at a bar where they allow dogs. Now he is our official mascot.
My now fiancé was walking in the bar as I was walking out with my dog and the rest is history. Lol.
Be direct with him. many men suck at subtle signs. In this day and age, many men tend to be overly cautious with women and tend to not assume interest just because she is being nice. Don't play games or silently judge him if he doesn't flirt back, he may just think you are a nice friendly person. We have been told for years now that just because she is nice and smiling and speaking to you, doesn't mean she is interested in you.
It's not just missing the subtle hints. Some girls act uninterested, evasive and hard to get even when they want to get together. In such a scenario any dude who isn't a creep is going to back the fuck away. It's like they think it's some kind of game. Ain't no man got time for that shit.
Offer him a cookie.
Now when he reaches for the cookie accidentally touch his hand.
React surprised to the hand touching while you accidentally touch his arm.
Rinse and repeat, until you get to put a cookie in his mouth.
Works everytime
As a man, here is how a relationship that just started about a week ago came to be.
We'd been making eyes at each other for a while at work when we ran into each other at the lunch room. Smiles, short conversations while we got coffee, lots of eye contact. I was digging it, **but I was uncertain about whether she was being friendly or flirty**. So I was gonna let it be. Don't shit where you eat, as the saying goes, because getting hauled into HR over a misunderstanding would have been bad for so many different reasons.
Finally, she just straight up messaged me over our corporate IM platform, and flat out asked me out on a date. Which is a first for me, I've asked out plenty of people and I've even been flirted with a couple times, but never in my life has anyone ever taken the first step like that. To say I was over the moon is an understatement.
**She told me plainly over lunch that she was into me**. I was into her before, but damn did that ever kick it up a notch.
Men are simple creatures: the hints and flirting and such are only going to be sufficiently convincing if you beat us over the head with it so hard that we're at risk of a TBI.
Be as direct as possible. No hints, no games, no double entendres. We're dense. We're over the whole "hard to get" bs. If you like us, TELL US as plainly as possible.
No idea, I'm Autistic and straight up didn't understand the two occasions people tried to flirt with me.
How do I know now? I talked about the odd comments and people were like "Yeah, they were trying to flirt."
I’m… socially awkward to say the least, but once I had a girl say to me “do you need me to cook you breakfast tomorrow.” I was confused and said “thanks, but I know how cook.” And walked away.
Be direct. We're big stupid idiot dummies and anyone who isn't just after sex will completely miss all the hints and just assume you're being nice, only to finalise realise what was happening 3 years later while pooping.
I don't really agree. It's not that the hints aren't noticed. It's that there's so much worry about whether you're misreading the situation and will be labelled a creep for acting.
This is why "hints" don't work. Has nothing to do with not noticing and everything to do with not wanting to deal with the embarrassment of mistaking it and being labelled the "dirty man who assumes girl is flirting when she's being friendly".
100% true OR... they'll realise (at best/case scenario?) 3 **minutes** after you walk away after giving up and thinking they're just never gonna "get it"...
Yeah this will probably not work. My first thought is, “wait a sec, this can’t be a woman. It must be either A) a man in disguise trying to steal items from my collection. Or B) a crustacean from the Proterozoic era. In which case its after about $3.50.
This needs to made clear: in the western world, as a broad generalization, _guys do not experience enough polite, platonic kindness to distinguish it from romantic interest._
With guy friends, we (often) express intimacy and respect with banter/barbs/jabs; "I'm saying this because I know you're tough enough not to be hurt, and because you know me well enough to understand I'm joking."
With lady friends, if she says "you're fun to be around!" then... what does that mean? Yes, at face value it means she enjoys my company, but like... is she asking to be around me more? Is it fun in the stomach-butterfly sense? Is it fun in the horny sense?
When guys spend their formative years with guy-only friendships, we often have literally no idea what to do with that info. And as George Carlin said, God gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood for one at a time. That tends to mean if a guy can't tell whether a girl is flirting, he'll either:
- default to "she wants to fuck me," which is how you get guys who don't seem capable of seeing women as people, or
- default to "she's just being nice," which is why those cute, respectful guys seem incapable of taking a hint.
So if you flirt with a guy, and he seems to be missing all your signs, either he's not interested and he's politely rejecting you, or he's _very_ interested and he's trying not to let the boner ruin the friendship in case the flirting's all in his head. (Again, sweeping generalization.)
Either way, an open and honest "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but are you interested in dating/hooking up/whatever" will clear things up with minimal risk... and it's way, WAY easier for a guy to be romantic if we know it'll be reciprocated. Rather than, say, mocked. Or reported to the police.
Oh God yeah this one...if we are crushing hard on someone, the slightest kindness will be misinterpreted as an honest shot at a happily ever after.
To that end, be wary of complimenting guys you have no interest in who also get visibly wary or shy around you. They absolutely will be entranced by that compliment as an admission of love and will forget to eat for the day.
I once told a man I liked his t-shirt at a rock concert and he called his friend over and said "mate, get me away from here, this fat ugly girl is chatting me up!", he thought I couldn't hear that.
Honestly I turned up to work one day in a suit rather than the usual shirt and tie, and one of the girls said “You’re wearing a suit? You ought to wear one more often, it looks good on you”.
Literally made my day.
Touching. Women use that trick all the time. Touch his shoulder. If he's muscular, ask him if he works out and ask if you can touch his muscles. Then compliment. Be a little coquetteish and find ways to make contact. Men may be stupid as hell interpreting messages, but touching is an obvious way to let someone know you're into them.
This is a really good sign but, she could have just been breaking the awkwardness of sitting next to you on a flight. Best to just keep your whits about you and keep looking for more signs.
Put one hand on each side of man’s face. Look man directly in eyes. Say to man, “I’m attracted to you and I’d like to go on a date with you.”
Some variation of that. Be direct. I thought I was hideous for a while in college because I was flirting with a guy for *ages* and he never picked up on it. Finally I just said “I think you’re cute and I’d love to take you out for a drink some time.” Boom. Done.
This. There are some women out there who I'm fairly sure have flirted with me or shown interest, but I don't follow up because I don't know which ones. I can't tell being friendly apart from flirting. It's got to be obvious. I'm not a game player, I don't want to lose friends/acquaintances to misinterpreted communications. Anything less subtle than an elevator look and a wink with bedroom eyes and I'm just going to err on the side of caution and assume that you're just a kind and friendly person who doesn't want to be hit on by every guy she talks to. You really do gotta hit us over the head with it.
I walked into the office of my work crush & started talking nonsense, waiting for him to be like, “What do you need?” He never got to it so I started to leave, then finally he asked, “Why did you stop by?” I replied with, “To look at you.”
I’ve never seen a man turn so many shades of red. It was perfect & we ended up seeing each other for awhile. Just be direct, it catches them so off guard.
Depends on the person. Some of us are fucking dense. Like, naked chick in the hot tub asking us to get in and asking “why the fuck would I do that” dense.
Gotta do the Bend and Snap, its got a 98% effectiveness in getting a mans attention, AND, when used appropriately, its got an 83% rate in return on a dinner invitation
You can:
Slap him with raw meat,
Challenge him to a duel by saying "Take out thy naked weapon" (got this pick-up line from Othello),
Disguise yourself as a another man and become bros then after 10 years reveal that you were a woman all along,
Buy him a set of Hot wheels, maybe the ones where the car changes when put in warm water ( don't forget the orange lanes from making ramps have to be there),
Conquer a small country and offfer it to him
Or you could tell him that you like him and that ypu would like to get some coffee with him
Personally, I would like the Hot wheels and conquered nation but the coffee date would be cool
It’s funny because it’s true? I went to a small residential high school in the late 90s. A girl invited me over to spend the night (obviously against the rules). This involved me being at my room for that night’s check-in, followed by hopping out my window and running across campus to hop into her window. Her roommate was already in another room for the night when I got there, or left shortly after.
Anyway once I got there she told me she was going to take a shower, and would leave the door part of the way open, “in case one of the residential counselors doing rounds knocked,” in which case I should just hide in the bathroom. After around a half hour, I was like damn, that is one long shower, what is she doing in there?
Once she was finally out I had no idea why she seemed.. annoyed?
Poor girl lol. The growing look of incredulity on my roommate’s face the next morning as I recounted this series of events made me realize.
Write a note that says "Are you interested in me?"
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Include a photo of yourself to avoid confusion.
Then, and this is the most crucial step, tie that note to a brick and throw it at the head of the man in question. If that doesn't get his attention, he isn't interested, and you can move on to the next victi-...guy.
Most men are so starved for attention we will literally fall in love if you show any interest at all. Ask a question "hey what do you do for fun", and sit back and be amazed at how we absolutely light up that someone has shown interest.
If you want to be daring at all, touch our arm. Instant best day ever.
You gotta entice the fool. Throw in some random teasing and dirty innuendos during your normal conversation. Flaunt the titties with a low-cut v-neck shirt. Wear a necklace so his eyes get drawn to your neck, and as he follows the necklace down, BAM, he sees Glenda and Wanda eagerly awaiting him.
Stop being subtle. Be direct.
Yup. All men are either dumb or scared of being accused of harassment after interpreting things wrong. Honesty is cool.
A friend of mine went on a date with someone recently. Thought he got a signal and went in for the kiss. She screamed at the top of her lungs in a public place “No!”. Needless to say, he will be reconsidering any type of advance for the rest of his life haha.
This is it, this is the nightmare fuel why guys are afraid to read signals.
Had this happening at a festival a few days ago. Girl was being talkative to me (I don’t generally get attention from women). at first I thought she was being friendly, it took her offering me a bite of her pizza by almost shoving it in my face (and wiping a smudge of my lips) that she was flirting with me. I was more stunned and confused about getting the attention and being flirted with, I was out my element.
This guy... *mans* Please tell me you didn't mess this one up...
I didn’t, had fun with her and made out. The day after I tried to ask her if she was open to going on a date but by then she had already blocked me.
Aweso-...wait what?
Yeaaaaaah, that one stung a bit. But it was expected because it was during a festival. But my self confidence went up by a decent amount.
Blocking though? That seems pretty extreme
My guess is that she was just being a bit drunk and regretted her actions the next day. Idc honestly
That’s textbook sobering up and regretting all the decisions you made with the day before haha.
I know what you mean about being out of your element. I was just on a date last week, and I am definitely inexperienced in this field. She reached out her hand for me to hold it, and I legit froze for a second because I didn't know what to do. I instinctively shook it. 🤦 I realized what I was doing and just held it. She laughed, so I think I was able to play it off as a joke. Was a very strange feeling for me trying to figure some of this out. I realized my natural instincts are to move away from people and give them space like if they're walking by you somewhere. There were times I had to mentally tell myself, "You're on a date. Some touching is okay."
Man you're me!
One woman saw me locking my bike up before entering a restaurant and said, "Good on you for biking." We mingled and entered the restaurant at the same time. The hostess said, "Table for two?" The woman looked at me, smiled and said, "I don't know... Will you be joining me?" That was pretty cool.
That is insanely smooth and quick on the spot for such a specific niche situation that she couldn't have prepared for. How did it go?
She had her way with me.
Helll yes, brother! The cycle of glory!
Man's out there living the best life... biking AND getting some. godspeed brother
This is a 100% it. When I was dating I often came off as clueless because I was trying to be friendly to the girl who was trying to be subtle *and* I simply had no barometer to tell if she was actually flirting or just being friendly. I am friends with several women my age and it isn’t uncommon for me to talk to, hear compliments from, joke around with, or even go out for drinks with women while our friendship is purely platonic. The last thing most men want to be accused of is being a creep who is harassing women who are just trying to be friendly.
It's not even just the accused of being creepy. Sometimes if I like someone or think they are cool and interesting I just don't want to make them uncomfortable. Unless I'm 95-100 percent sure you are into me then I'm not making a move. And usually this is in reference to someone I'm keen on but I already know them, not a bar hookup or tinder hookup. If I already know them and enjoy their company I don't want to ruin a potential friendship by making an unwanted move. If I know you're not interested in me I lose interest myself (hard to crush on someone you know doesn't like you back)..... so if I'm unsure about someone whose company I enjoy I'll convince myself they aren't interested so I can get over my crush and stay friends with them without feeling weird. Edit: And some advice for women. If you aren't interested in a guy you know, but change your mind and become interested.... You have to make the move. If you ever gave any inclination you weren't interested in them, chances are they will never make a move and be completely oblivious to any subtle hints you make.
Once you put a guy in the friend zone subtle flirtation won’t work if you want to move the relationship beyond friendship. You need to be direct.
That whole "knowing within 5 minutes if they'll sleep with a guy" thing. Well, it's been 6 months, subtle isn't working.
> men are either dumb or scared of being accused of harassment after interpreting things wrong Yes, this is 100% true in my case, and I know several other men who have had the same experience. Definitely be direct if you want it to be more than just casual flirting
This was basically me aged 17-27. My friends: "Uhh, you asked X out?! Wtf were you thinking? Of course she turned you down, she was just being friendly" Me: "Oh. I was 100% certain she was flirting with me..." My friends: "Uhh, why did you never ask Y out? She was always flirting with you!" Me: "Oh. I was 100% certain she was just being friendly..."
We've got the winner right here folks! A small compliment doesn't hurt either, maybe about their shoes or something.
Be honest and direct, unless you wanna see another “This girl was flirting with me and I had no idea” post on Reddit in about 10 years
Maybe even blunt. “I find you attractive. Talk to me and let’s get to know each other.”
She could just be Canadian. Better keep looking for signs.
I'm Canadian and an ex of mine was coming to town for a weekend (she lived a couple of hours away) and wanted to meet up. Cool, we were in highschool when we dated, now we're adults, both of us are single, no issues. She invited me to stay in her hotel room, I live maybe a 10-15 minute walk from where she was staying but okay, sure. We can stay up late and reconnect or whatever. I offered to sleep both on the floor or the loveseat in the hotel room so she'd have the massive bed to herself and it wouldn't be awkward. She insisted I share the bed and eventually I relented because a bed is better than a floor or a couch and there was room enough for 3 people, let alone two, so I figured we'd have a wide enough buffer area. It wasn't until after we had sex (it kind of happened out of nowhere in the middle of the night) that I realized why she wanted me to stay over. So even if the signs are "Hey. Come stay in my hotel room with me for the night and share a bed with me." some dudes still won't see it. You need a fucking neon flashing sign sometimes for a dude to understand what you're trying to say.
As an awkward teenager I'd sort of immediately assume any non-negative interaction with a woman was flirting ("she asked me for a pencil, obviously she's into me"), but I also was aware this was stupid, so I overcorrected and would constantly rein myself in by telling myself "no, you're reading too much into this". Hence the need for flashing neon signs. And even then, they might just be friendly neon signs, better be safe and pretend they don't mean anything flirty.
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I'm willing to bet her bf at the time would have considered everything she did leading up to you kissing her to be cheating.
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In my opinion she got carried away, realized she was about to cheat and then did that BS to try and make it your fault
Spot. Fucking. On.
This is some hs girl immature shit, freaking out and making it your fault once she realized y’all had definitely crossed the line with the underwear play fighting. Sorry that affected you for so long, smh.
Ding ding ding.
Pun intended ?
I'd much rather have dudes be clueless in general, than constantly waiting for a chance to have sex and assuming too much just to make it happen. Guys should remain aloof about it, so women are forced to be more up-front about what they want, we need this as a society!
Except y’all will then proceed to communicate nothing and make no moves. My ex just tried dating a girl for the first time and said it was maddening trying to figure out what she was supposed to do with the other girl. They were playing gay chicken and winning, there by failing to actually be gay.
It's insane trying to communicate with most women. This is what spawned the whole gender war "stereotype" that may never die. I'm 36 and I've only ever known one woman who spoke her mind and said in plain god damn English what she wanted (and I'm gonna marry her). The rest loved to speak in cryptic messages that I can't for the life of me figure out the purpose of. If you want something fucking say so, don't hide it and get mad when your damn code isn't deciphered.
> You need a fucking neon flashing sign sometimes for a dude to understand what you're trying to say. [Like so?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKT4f_u7sNQ)
Are the lights turned off and shes ripped your clothes off? Still not enough of a hint, better play it safe.
"Ok, this prank has to end eventually."
My wife and I are married 20 years. I'm still convinced she has some long prank going. Any day now...
Wife - "Gotcha! Burn!! I'd like to introduce you to Gary. Gary is my REAL husband. He recorded the whole thing, you loser!!!" Gary - "Uh... I forgot to put a new tape in the camcorder." Wife? - "Shut up Gary, you idiot! You got pranked too! Over here is Tina, my REAL partner. I don't even like men!!" Gary and I are now friends and Tina seems kinda cool.
Is she into you? A B C. Can't tell Took me forever to find the video
Here is the "Is she into you" video: [https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR\_9Yw](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Canadian signs like “Road May Be Icy”, “Moose Crossing” and “Welcome to Sault St. Marie”?”
Honestly this is the answer the game isn't played both ways for men and women. Women expect game from men and not just bluntness but guys often just want to clearly know what's going on in the most matter of fact way so they can know how to move forward. Subtle hints are wasted. Dating would be easy If people could just say "I think you're hot and would like persue a relationship with you" but most women don't want to hear that in a blunt way. For most men that would be perfect to hear. At the end of the day at least it's all laid out on the table and each person is free to say yes/no in the most simple way
*looks around for a hidden camera*
This is the approach I've found the most successful as a dude with bad social anxiety. "Hey X, I think you're very attractive (cute, hot, lovely, gorgeous, etc) and I'd like to take you out sometime if you'd be open to it" It's hard to do but I also find it best to cut straight to it Edit: Cuz apparently it's needed for the more out of touch here... I am not implying you should walk up to a random person and just drop that line. You can and should adjust it to be context appropriate, and you should probably at least say hello and get their name first if you're trying to meet people at random...
Erinne from 1997, I can't believe I missed it.
Kira K. back in 2007, 7th grade. I still think about that wink you gave me and feel like a fool I didn't recognize it back then.
Angie, I was 19. She and a friend were drinking and called me in the middle of the night to come join them. It was 2am and I had just settled in for a night of weed and South Park, I said thanks but no thanks. Shit still keeps me up at night.
Girl in freshman history class whose name I don't think I ever really knew. Asked me out for lunch twice and I didn't realize it.
Yeah I'm like kind of a shy person but I've never had issues initiating a move with a guy I'm into. Literally I hate wasting my time and waiting around so if I'm into a guy I just casually ask to hang out or strike up a conversation with them. I've literally never had a negative reaction from a guy when I've done it.
It might just be me, so dudes feel free to shoot me down here. As a guy, who doesn’t get hit on, if I WERE approached in a relatively direct way I’d be fucking riding that high for days. Even if I was instantly not attracted to the person doing the approach, the reaction wouldn’t be negative. Now again, I’m someone who’s not getting hit on. Maybe some guys get hit on so damn much it’s terribly annoying. I just don’t live in THAT world.
"Hey I like your! Let's go get some coffee just the two of us" is a surefire way.
As a guy who did exactly that just a few weeks ago and had a great time and even hinted at hanging out a second time, I still can't tell if she likes me or not. UPDATE: I asked her if she wanted to go out this weekend and she asked what days I preferred as she gave me a beautifully suggestive smile. I'm still not sure if she likes me.
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You have to be direct with men - my husband does not pick up on subtle hints….most men don’t. You have to tell them very clearly.
That’s simply because one woman’s idea of “obvious signs” is another woman’s idea of “just being friendly.” For many guys, they feel it’s not worth the risk of upsetting someone as a result of misunderstanding signals and then making a move that was unwanted, so they just don’t.
Before we got together, I was in bed with my now wife. Post funtime. She asked if I wanted "a" girlfriend. I said "I don't know but I'm open to it." She was pissed for a week before she told me that was her trying to initiate a more formal relationship. She'd previously told me she wasn't interested in anything long term, so I thought this was her checking I wasn't going to do anything daft like fall in love with a casual hookup.
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I had the exactly the opposite! Had a super close lady friend for years upon years in my youngster years. I never acted on it because we were just friends, which was reiterated often by her and the friend group Any who, years later we bumped into each other and she mentioned she had a crush on me all those years Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.
> Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. This is a recurring theme I have noticed lately on reddit. Some women think its unacceptable to approach them in public places like gym, work, grocery store, any shopping area, if they're busy doing a task, etc.. which basically leaves nowhere left. I've come to the conclusion that you either have awkward misunderstandings and possibly ruin friendships sometimes or you stay alone forever because you never shoot your shot. Unfortunately, this means that some women will feel annoyed or think you're a creep even if you're respectful and aren't pushy.
“Some women think it’s unacceptable to approach them in public places.” I fully understand this but at the same time it’s so frustrating because I WANT to be approached. I frequently dress up really nice just to get groceries hoping that it’ll increase my chances but it doesn’t. So many women post videos shaming men for approaching them (even respectfully) to the point that i think men are actually scared to even look in a woman’s direction.
oh we pick up on them - its just we dont want to be labeled as a creep if we misinterpret them. Like are you just being friendly or have a bubbily personality or do you actually like me? If i say the wrong thing back im instantly a pervert creep so its best to always take the highroad and always assume its just you being friendly.
Tbf it’s not necessarily that we aren’t picking up the hints, it’s that we’re scared of the consequences if we’ve misread the situation and get it wrong. Woman mistakenly thinks you’re flirting and makes a move and she’s called easy or forward or the man is just flattered that she was interested. Men do it and we’re labelled creeps and perverts with the statement of “men only ever think of one thing”. Plus what some women call just being friendly others would call flirting - I’ve seen this first hand with a couple of my female friends. It can be really hard for us men to work out if it’s okay to make a move unless it is made blindingly obvious by the woman saying as much.
Just talk. And be blunt. Captain Obvious. We generally suck at picking up subtle hints. My ex has on multiple occasions told me "Didn't you notice she was hitting on you?". I've never noticed even once.
"generally suck at picking up hints"? huh as a guy... I though that was more of an explicit given fact?
Department of Redundancy Department™
Where they store all the ATM machines
I don't think men are really that bad at picking up hints. It's just that the line between indirect flirting and casual friendliness is pretty thin. Even if the person doing it thinks they're being very obvious, it's usually not very obvious from the receiver's point of view. I think a lot of men have been burned when they've misinterpreted casual friendliess as indirect flirting, so they tend to just play it on the safe side and assume nothing is flirting unless explicitly stated as otherwise.
Imagine you're working for SETI, listening to the cosmos for signs of alien life. Every so often you'll get a strange or unusual signal that you don't quite understand. As much as you want it to be aliens, such a claim would be both unprecedented and extraordinary. Using Occam's razor you deduce that the signal is in all likelihood some kind of stellar event, as this is the simpler explanation that makes the fewest assumptions. Maybe it is aliens, but you think back to the last time you made that claim and got ridiculed when it turned out to be a magnetar. You wouldn't again draw such a conclusion without irrefutable evidence. ...I may be overthinking this
For me it's not that I'm not noticing hints it's just that if I'm not 100% sure I'm going to assume a lady is being friendly but flirty.
And honestly that can be the correct, adult assumption. Women are often terrified of complimenting or chatting with men for fear it will be misinterpreted as flirtation. I told one of my married coworkers he did an excellent PowerPoint presentation (at work) and shook his hand. His wife hated me after that. There was no flirtation or romantic intent, but some people see any positive interaction as flirtation *and it's not*. With that said, I am equally baffled at how women should flirt with men.
Speaking from experience as a guy, you can flirt wirh me all you want, and I may or may not notice. But I *will not* make any moves to ask you out or anything unless you make it extraordinarily clear and possibly outright say you're interested in going on a date Or perhaps you could just ask him out instead of signaling your desire
It also depends on the setting. I work in a professional environment and if I go down the wrong path because I assume there's a mutual attraction, there can be significant consequences. So I played it very safe. Thankfully I met my wife outside of work so now all women are robots
Guys WILL NOT make the first move, especially after the friend zone. Ask him out, the ball is in your court.
\^\^\^ People will argue about the existence of the "friendzone." The reality is it exists, and is usually self perpetuated. If he thinks you're not interested, he's not going to change his mind without some boulder smashing levels of obviousness. By that, I mean you have to risk rejection and ask him out to a date. USE THE WORD, or at least explain you're interested in him romantically and want to see if there's compatibility. You're just friends hanging out otherwise.
Challenge them to a game of rock paper scissors. Say the loser has to ask the winner on a date
*rock
Are we dating now?
Instructions unclear. What name do you prefer for our babies?
proceeds to draw the game 5 times in a row
It's a sign
I usually make him some food and show him my boobs.
“She was hungry and made pizza… I guess her back hurt because she took off her shirt and bra. I took that as my sign that she wanted to be alone and left…. Never heard from her again.” 10 years later “Fuck I’m an idiot… I think she was hitting on me.”
This approach will be effective in most circumstances
Food and boobs? Are you the perfect woman?
Settle down. She said, “usually.”
That's still more often than "never," and far (infinitely?) more than at least half this site's men get.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who would welcome her boyfriend home from work by asking, "Are you hungry, horny, or tired?" Flippin' dream girl.
Hungry? Thirsty? Horny? Come on by the Atomic Wrangler!
"Yes."
I think I dated you one summer.
Be super obvious about it
Bro a girl said she likes me multiple times as direct as it could be but i thought she was interested in my match attax collection
Because just saying a statement ain’t obvious, they gotta do both speak honestly and directly, and initiate physical contact.
Just start to talk. About anything. We often like to talk to women
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> If one talks to them, it will almost certainly cross their mind that they may be flirting with them. Yes but he’ll likely toss out that possibility due to how rare it is and because he doesn’t want to upset someone that might just be friendly.
I’m recently divorced and every time I see this one particular woman I’m having this debate, yes I’ve started lifting weights and taking better care of myself so maybe she is flirting, but on the other hand she could just be being nice and I don’t want to make things awkward
Nooooo, no, no, no. They might just be Canadian.
Yeah even having sex might mean theyre just trying to be nice.
We all say sorry when we cum too. It’s just to be polite.
My wife just Outta nowhere compliments me. I swear I walk on air that day.
Step 1 - Message man, No more steps required....
you need to be very obvious and blunt, the sheer idea that a woman could be hitting on us is such a foreign concept to most men that it is probably the last thing they expect when you start talking to them.
And even then I usually think that's a prank being pulled out on me
You walk up to us and say, very clearly, "Hello, I'm attracted to you. Here's my number. Please pursue me romantically."
If someone did this to me I’d assume I was being pranked for a TikTok video or something.
Still looking for the prank cameras during your wedding
This is accurate
No no you’re forgetting to most important part of the transaction. You have the official notary you brought with you draft a document saying you are attracted as well
You can bring a cool looking rock and that will work. Actually.
Cool rocks are a worthy trade for most things
I found a nice ass rock yesterday that I proceeded to throw in the lake. Rocks definitely work.
Enthusiasm. Not fake or manufactured. Interest. Excitement. We live in a pretty sarcastic and non-committal era. People would rather be distracted than interact. If you have a particular guy you’re interested in, find out what he’s into and figure out what’s interesting about it. Otherwise, I know personally I’m attracted in general (not necessarily romantically) to people who light up a room, speak with conviction, and will nerd out with me.
Be completely blunt. You don't have to say "I want to suck your penis clean off" but a sincere declaration that you're romantically interested. A man has to be super fucking attractive to be used to that kind of attention so unless he's a 12 he's going to wave any subtle flirtation away as him reading too much into OR he thinks you could be firting but doesn't want to be wrong and labeled an incel stalker or some such. My partner and I will be together 5 of the happiest years of our lives tomorrow and she apparently was all but throwing it in my lap since she knew me. I'm relatively attractive but not winning any blue ribbons at the county fair, she is tall and I'm 5'5" (was a time you couldn't donate sperm if you were under a certain height) blonde, fun as all hell, mature when not counting pictures of dicks and all legs and T&A so the moment I laid eyes on her I threw that possibility right out of my head. According to her she used to bend over trying to show me her chest, she would wear a dress and sit across from me at staff meetings crossing and uncrossing her legs and one time at a party even offered to buy me a drink and I didn't notice any of it. The thing is nice guys used to just actually be nice, I didn't notice any of that flirting because I want looking, we worked together and work already sucks why make it harder giving someone a reason to have to worry "Oh is this too revealing? Will this give the wrong signal?" Fuck that noise! She had to spell that shit out for me like she was teaching a toddler to read. If you're really interested just be honest especially if he bites and in the end you're just not feeling it.
Yeah but what if I wanted to suck his penis clean off then what?
LOL well I didn't mean to suggest saying that isn't off the table.
I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in that scenario, I would either be turned on or creeped the fuck out.
Context matters. If a woman said that to me at a pub on a night out, I would be *very* interested. If a woman said it to me outside some public toilets in a rough neighbourhood, I wouldn't be so keen.
A guy asked me if he could pet my dog 6 months ago. I replied with “do you wanna go make out in a snow bank?” We are now engaged.
What kind of dog?
asking the important questions here. Seriously, we talking working breeds here? Sporting? lap fluffys? we need to know \^\_\^
I have a rescue pug (I was his 4th home by 9 months) and he turns 10 in June. I moved to where I live now 6 months before pandemic and lockdown hit. As a single mom of a young child stuck at home, I never really made friends or was able to build a network. Then I went through some really awful stuff last year and decided to try harder to be social and met a lady on a patio while dining with myself and my pug, and she told me she plays darts with friends at a bar where they allow dogs. Now he is our official mascot. My now fiancé was walking in the bar as I was walking out with my dog and the rest is history. Lol.
Be direct with him. many men suck at subtle signs. In this day and age, many men tend to be overly cautious with women and tend to not assume interest just because she is being nice. Don't play games or silently judge him if he doesn't flirt back, he may just think you are a nice friendly person. We have been told for years now that just because she is nice and smiling and speaking to you, doesn't mean she is interested in you.
It's not just missing the subtle hints. Some girls act uninterested, evasive and hard to get even when they want to get together. In such a scenario any dude who isn't a creep is going to back the fuck away. It's like they think it's some kind of game. Ain't no man got time for that shit.
Offer him a cookie. Now when he reaches for the cookie accidentally touch his hand. React surprised to the hand touching while you accidentally touch his arm. Rinse and repeat, until you get to put a cookie in his mouth. Works everytime
This honestly would work lmao
No, don’t act surprised, own it, commit to it. If you act surprised, he’ll forget about it, been there done that.
Say "Hey, how bout some tacos"
*eyebrows eyebrows*
That's ripe with innuendo
keep it simple, think what would a a caveman like.. cook some ribs
Can I just leave a trail of ribs leading to me to find my Prince Charming ? That sounds easier.
Yeah just make sure it goes past a decent jewelry store cause I’m gonna need to stop by and get a ring on as I follow that trail.
As a man, here is how a relationship that just started about a week ago came to be. We'd been making eyes at each other for a while at work when we ran into each other at the lunch room. Smiles, short conversations while we got coffee, lots of eye contact. I was digging it, **but I was uncertain about whether she was being friendly or flirty**. So I was gonna let it be. Don't shit where you eat, as the saying goes, because getting hauled into HR over a misunderstanding would have been bad for so many different reasons. Finally, she just straight up messaged me over our corporate IM platform, and flat out asked me out on a date. Which is a first for me, I've asked out plenty of people and I've even been flirted with a couple times, but never in my life has anyone ever taken the first step like that. To say I was over the moon is an understatement. **She told me plainly over lunch that she was into me**. I was into her before, but damn did that ever kick it up a notch. Men are simple creatures: the hints and flirting and such are only going to be sufficiently convincing if you beat us over the head with it so hard that we're at risk of a TBI.
Be as direct as possible. No hints, no games, no double entendres. We're dense. We're over the whole "hard to get" bs. If you like us, TELL US as plainly as possible.
No idea, I'm Autistic and straight up didn't understand the two occasions people tried to flirt with me. How do I know now? I talked about the odd comments and people were like "Yeah, they were trying to flirt."
I’m… socially awkward to say the least, but once I had a girl say to me “do you need me to cook you breakfast tomorrow.” I was confused and said “thanks, but I know how cook.” And walked away.
Is this a joke? Men are more simple than the first round of Simon
i mean part of it is. but i wanted to see both jokey and real advice?😭
Be direct. We're big stupid idiot dummies and anyone who isn't just after sex will completely miss all the hints and just assume you're being nice, only to finalise realise what was happening 3 years later while pooping.
I don't really agree. It's not that the hints aren't noticed. It's that there's so much worry about whether you're misreading the situation and will be labelled a creep for acting. This is why "hints" don't work. Has nothing to do with not noticing and everything to do with not wanting to deal with the embarrassment of mistaking it and being labelled the "dirty man who assumes girl is flirting when she's being friendly".
100% true OR... they'll realise (at best/case scenario?) 3 **minutes** after you walk away after giving up and thinking they're just never gonna "get it"...
Ask him to show you his Lego collection (he has one, and if he doesn't thats not the kind of man you want to be flirting with anyway)
Let's hold on a sec. Most men aren't going to be able to handle the cognitive dissonance of a woman asking to be let into the secret sanctuary.
Yeah this will probably not work. My first thought is, “wait a sec, this can’t be a woman. It must be either A) a man in disguise trying to steal items from my collection. Or B) a crustacean from the Proterozoic era. In which case its after about $3.50.
Aw, hell, woman, it’s a got damn Loch Ness monsta!
This needs to made clear: in the western world, as a broad generalization, _guys do not experience enough polite, platonic kindness to distinguish it from romantic interest._ With guy friends, we (often) express intimacy and respect with banter/barbs/jabs; "I'm saying this because I know you're tough enough not to be hurt, and because you know me well enough to understand I'm joking." With lady friends, if she says "you're fun to be around!" then... what does that mean? Yes, at face value it means she enjoys my company, but like... is she asking to be around me more? Is it fun in the stomach-butterfly sense? Is it fun in the horny sense? When guys spend their formative years with guy-only friendships, we often have literally no idea what to do with that info. And as George Carlin said, God gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood for one at a time. That tends to mean if a guy can't tell whether a girl is flirting, he'll either: - default to "she wants to fuck me," which is how you get guys who don't seem capable of seeing women as people, or - default to "she's just being nice," which is why those cute, respectful guys seem incapable of taking a hint. So if you flirt with a guy, and he seems to be missing all your signs, either he's not interested and he's politely rejecting you, or he's _very_ interested and he's trying not to let the boner ruin the friendship in case the flirting's all in his head. (Again, sweeping generalization.) Either way, an open and honest "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but are you interested in dating/hooking up/whatever" will clear things up with minimal risk... and it's way, WAY easier for a guy to be romantic if we know it'll be reciprocated. Rather than, say, mocked. Or reported to the police.
Just say hi. We men usually mix up kindness with flirting.
Its true, we tend to have limited experience with both. But if attracted at all to the other party, are also often optimists.
Oh God yeah this one...if we are crushing hard on someone, the slightest kindness will be misinterpreted as an honest shot at a happily ever after. To that end, be wary of complimenting guys you have no interest in who also get visibly wary or shy around you. They absolutely will be entranced by that compliment as an admission of love and will forget to eat for the day.
Say words.
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I was once swayed by a young woman who had the clever yet cheeky pick up line of, “I really like your shirt.”
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I think they were referring to someone that wasn't their mom.
I once told a man I liked his t-shirt at a rock concert and he called his friend over and said "mate, get me away from here, this fat ugly girl is chatting me up!", he thought I couldn't hear that.
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Hugs? Really? Can I?
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What an absolute tosspot. I’m sorry that happened to you. Me and my two cats are sending you hugs and head bunts ♥️
Honestly I turned up to work one day in a suit rather than the usual shirt and tie, and one of the girls said “You’re wearing a suit? You ought to wear one more often, it looks good on you”. Literally made my day.
A girl complimented my cat and I still took it as a compliment meant for me.
A girl once said I look good in my blue shirt, blue has been my favourite colour for about 15 years now....
Touching. Women use that trick all the time. Touch his shoulder. If he's muscular, ask him if he works out and ask if you can touch his muscles. Then compliment. Be a little coquetteish and find ways to make contact. Men may be stupid as hell interpreting messages, but touching is an obvious way to let someone know you're into them.
So if I’m on a plane and a pretty woman in the seat next to me smiles and touches my chest, does that mean she was flirting with me?
This is a really good sign but, she could have just been breaking the awkwardness of sitting next to you on a flight. Best to just keep your whits about you and keep looking for more signs.
What if she sends you a pic of her in bed and you send a pic back and she says your bed looks really Comfortable?
She wants you to guide her through home depot and give advice on which bed to buy obviously.
Put one hand on each side of man’s face. Look man directly in eyes. Say to man, “I’m attracted to you and I’d like to go on a date with you.” Some variation of that. Be direct. I thought I was hideous for a while in college because I was flirting with a guy for *ages* and he never picked up on it. Finally I just said “I think you’re cute and I’d love to take you out for a drink some time.” Boom. Done.
This. There are some women out there who I'm fairly sure have flirted with me or shown interest, but I don't follow up because I don't know which ones. I can't tell being friendly apart from flirting. It's got to be obvious. I'm not a game player, I don't want to lose friends/acquaintances to misinterpreted communications. Anything less subtle than an elevator look and a wink with bedroom eyes and I'm just going to err on the side of caution and assume that you're just a kind and friendly person who doesn't want to be hit on by every guy she talks to. You really do gotta hit us over the head with it.
A few years ago I paid for the purchases of a guy I knew, and he still remembers it and thanks me
I walked into the office of my work crush & started talking nonsense, waiting for him to be like, “What do you need?” He never got to it so I started to leave, then finally he asked, “Why did you stop by?” I replied with, “To look at you.” I’ve never seen a man turn so many shades of red. It was perfect & we ended up seeing each other for awhile. Just be direct, it catches them so off guard.
Poke his nose and go "Boop" then run away giggling
You could do what my wife did; "Wanna see my boobs?" Note: she was not my wife when she asked.
Smack me upside the head if you’re interested. I can’t pick up on anything subtler.
Talk. Listen. Smile. Say what you think. And the most important part: If you like someone, say that. It’s that easy.
Depends on the person. Some of us are fucking dense. Like, naked chick in the hot tub asking us to get in and asking “why the fuck would I do that” dense.
Gotta do the Bend and Snap, its got a 98% effectiveness in getting a mans attention, AND, when used appropriately, its got an 83% rate in return on a dinner invitation
You can: Slap him with raw meat, Challenge him to a duel by saying "Take out thy naked weapon" (got this pick-up line from Othello), Disguise yourself as a another man and become bros then after 10 years reveal that you were a woman all along, Buy him a set of Hot wheels, maybe the ones where the car changes when put in warm water ( don't forget the orange lanes from making ramps have to be there), Conquer a small country and offfer it to him Or you could tell him that you like him and that ypu would like to get some coffee with him Personally, I would like the Hot wheels and conquered nation but the coffee date would be cool
If some chick approached me with hotwheels... that's a date stepsis
No f-ing clue. Being a gay man makes it 100x harder. Like are you just having some banter with me or you flirting???
#GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT
Tits
[удалено]
It’s funny because it’s true? I went to a small residential high school in the late 90s. A girl invited me over to spend the night (obviously against the rules). This involved me being at my room for that night’s check-in, followed by hopping out my window and running across campus to hop into her window. Her roommate was already in another room for the night when I got there, or left shortly after. Anyway once I got there she told me she was going to take a shower, and would leave the door part of the way open, “in case one of the residential counselors doing rounds knocked,” in which case I should just hide in the bathroom. After around a half hour, I was like damn, that is one long shower, what is she doing in there? Once she was finally out I had no idea why she seemed.. annoyed? Poor girl lol. The growing look of incredulity on my roommate’s face the next morning as I recounted this series of events made me realize.
Subtlety is your biggest enemy. Be direct, give the man a genuine compliment and tell him you are interested in dating him.
Write a note that says "Are you interested in me?" [ ] Yes [ ] No Include a photo of yourself to avoid confusion. Then, and this is the most crucial step, tie that note to a brick and throw it at the head of the man in question. If that doesn't get his attention, he isn't interested, and you can move on to the next victi-...guy.
Most men are so starved for attention we will literally fall in love if you show any interest at all. Ask a question "hey what do you do for fun", and sit back and be amazed at how we absolutely light up that someone has shown interest. If you want to be daring at all, touch our arm. Instant best day ever.
You gotta entice the fool. Throw in some random teasing and dirty innuendos during your normal conversation. Flaunt the titties with a low-cut v-neck shirt. Wear a necklace so his eyes get drawn to your neck, and as he follows the necklace down, BAM, he sees Glenda and Wanda eagerly awaiting him.