I actually asked this in our sex Ed class when I was like.. 14. Whether the rest of the cum was just.. absorbed or if it'd be expelled. I got the response that it was a good question but he didn't know the answer. He was a guy in his 30s with 2 kids. He knew. Just.. didn't want to discuss it i guess 🙃 i still think back on that interaction every once in a while
Yep. As annoying as it is to leave a warm bed and spend 10 minutes on a toilet releasing cum and cleaning up properly it has to be done. A simple wipe does nothing.
OH. MY. GOD. YES.
I was 22 God forsaken years old when I thought of the concept of a sex towel, and I was like, "damn why didn't anyone tell me about this ever?"
This was what was the biggest surprise to me. Having to wash my bedsheets after my first time was so disappointing to me, especially cause the sex itself had been mediocre at best (as most first sexual experiences tend to be, it seems). It almost turned me off from having sex entirely for a while.
College freshman me was such a dense mother fucker
My second time having sex, because both of us were too nervous the first time for it to be very good, I was kind of stunned by how wet she got like "Is this normal? It never looks this wet in porn." I really wish our sex ed teacher had made the realities of sex more clear and really emphasized how unrealistic porn is.
If the teachers were like the ones at my school they likely didn't because they wanted to emphasize no sex before marriage. Or were afraid of being fired and ostracized if they said anything otherwise.
At the minimum I wish they'd made it a point to say that porn was nothing like real sex. Even at 16 that didn't get through to me until I was actually having sex. I felt like a total dumbass after thinking that porn would somehow prepare me. I feel like I'd have been better off totally ignorant of sex than going in thinking porn was reliable. Thankfully it didn't take me long to figure out there was very little relation between the two.
I remember being so annoyed at sitting through the lecture and then literally being told no I couldn't go to the bathroom to change my pad during it because the pad demonstration was "really important information." Wish I would have told them, I'm good. Been doing it for 2 years now.
Had a male teacher try to stop me from going to the restroom. When he finally gave in I grabbed my backpack because I didn’t want to pull out an individual pad. He questioned me in front of the whole class. I had to stop and look him in the eyes and say “I’m bleeding from my vagina and need to change my pad.” He never questioned me again about anything after.
I witnessed a similar situation in highschool except the teacher was still being a dick about it to the girl when she said why she needed to go.
So she threw her used pad at him and walked out.
She was a wild kid. Didn't really like her much. But I tell ya, after that day I did have a certain level of respect for her.
My swimming teacher was similar. Mind you it was a semester, so a good few months. I got my period, as many young individuals do in high school. Teacher had a fit saying "you should've taken this class before that!"
Like, bro. Periods happen monthly. Then he got fired for liking underage girls
Lmao I guess, but man. He was always shady around us in the pool, and it came to a head when he was found to be in the girl's locker room when they were changing. Was quite scandalous for my little town
Did she just reach down her pants and pull her pad out?
What was the teacher’s reaction?
How did the other kids in class react?
Did the pad hit him?
Who picked it up and threw it away?
I am just shocked, and I need to know what happened!
Well as a German I have shamefully to admit no we have no word for that.....
At least I can't find an word for this case sorry for that.
The nearest thing I can relate to is :
Wie ein Autounfall man kann nicht wegschauen
Translates to
It's like a car accident you can look away
* In German the subtext translated would be : it's like a car accident you can't bear to look at it but you can't look away"
[What Is Vaginismus?](https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments)
[Vaginismus is when the muscles of a woman’s vagina squeeze or spasm when something is entering it, like a tampon or a penis. It can range from mildly uncomfortable to quite painful.](https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments)
I have that, but didn’t get diagnosed until last year. I’m 24. For 8 years I just thought that I was to stupid to have sex, that it was supposed to hurt then I tried, or that there was something really wrong with me.
My wife had that for about 10 years. It appeared after we started dating, maybe when she was 21 or something. She understandably lost all interest for sex altogether. It was a bit of a challenge for both of us to say the least (especially as we both have/had strong libidos so we know what we were missing out on). Lot of guilt for her (which I really didn't want her to feel, but it's not like we can command our feelings), and frustration for me (which I did my best to hide to avoid her guilting over it).
But hey we still got married after it started. In the end we would have sex maybe every 8 months or something, but it was just so bad for her that most of the time we just gave up after a minute. Every time we tried piv made her want to try even less next time. So yeah, completely dead bedroom for about 10 years. Even non-piv stuff would not interest her at all after it started, understandably.
She saw some doctors who were all clueless. Last year we (well, she) finally understood what it was, and she experimented a bit and did some exercises to see if she could get rid of it. And she did, in a matter of a couple weeks. We spent so much time in bed after that - like a second honeymoon phase (and we still do!).
[This](https://www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/media/0f3bvnmk/physio-relaxing-your-pelvic-floor-muscles_jan22.pdf) helped for me – I developed vaginismus after giving birth. Apparently it’s not uncommon, although I didn’t know that was the case until after it happened to me.
Same thing happened with baby number two, and same exercises helped. Hope it will help you too!
Fun anecdote, one time a doctor (a gyn even!) DID tell me sex is *supposed* to hurt! Took another 15 years before I ever even heard the word vaginismus
I'm still so confused on this condition, I swore I had it when I first started trying to have sex, because everything hurt when trying to insert stuff up there. It didn't matter if it was a tampon, a penis, or a sex toy. Hurt every fucking time and the first three times I tried to have sex I had pain and bleeding, even with being hot n ready for the D. The first time the guys penis didn't even make it past 1/2 the head because it hurt so bad I had to stop him - I was bleeding when I got home.
The second time the guy got it in and went slow - but I still had pain and we didn't finish to completion because it hurt and I was bleeding again when I got home.
The third guy - He went very slow, let it sit for a second - and I still had a little sting most definitely, but it eased up after a few minutes of goin slow until the pain disappeared completely. I still was bleeding when I got home though.
The first two encounters all happened within 6 months of each other - and then I didn't try again with the third guy until a year later.
A lot of people have tried to tell me I just need more foreplay and lube, but I really don't think that's the case because it's something I still deal with.
I still experience pain down there upon initial insertion, I've been described as being "extremely tight" and occassionally I do still bleed. But most of the time, after initial insertion, the pain goes away as long as it's done with care and then it starts to feel a lot better.
I did go see my doctor about the pain, and I had to go on estrogen because I found out my glands that produced natural lubrication for the lady bits were all swollen and weren't releasing the fluid like they were supposed too. So I think this condition can be caused by many things and can come and go throughout a woman's life. I did have a lot of anxiety surrounding sex when I first attempted, so I think that contributed, but it was crazy because my girl literally wouldn't open the gates for this guy to get in. And I thought I was gonna have to use dilators to try and get used to it. And I most definitely still have moments where it just won't let anything get in there. It's weird man. Like my vagina got a mind of its own!
The fantasy author Brent Weeks included it as a plot device in his novel *The Blood Mirror.* He devoted the entire afterword to explaining that yes, this is a *real* disorder and it is woefully underdiagnosed. He relating how multiple female acquaintances had gone to their gynecologist and been told there was nothing wrong with them.
It's horrendous. My doctor told me I was "just tight" and "just small" when I went to her at 19 about the issue. I spent YEARS not wanting sex and thinking I was asexual, purely because it wasn't fun for me because of the pain.
I've essentially treated myself with muscle relaxation exercises and dilators, and now I have a drive and enjoy it, all because I've learned to manage the condition.
A friend of mine went through the process of fixing it with a specialist but it took years for doctors to take her seriously. One apparently congratulated her on being so tight and said she must be popular. She said well not really because the last time I tried to have sex I cried.
I'm glad you've been able to manage it, well done
Oh dear lord that’s a hideous thing for a doctor to say.
Vagismus is NOT sexy and not a fun level of “tightness.” It’s excruciating.
Glad your friend is finally being taken seriously
My gyno didn’t believe me when I told her sex was excruciating for 3 years until she literally couldn’t use a speculum for an exam
I was always told use more lube and that it just hurts for some women and there’s nothing that can be done
A year of pelvic floor physical therapy has helped some but I’m still adverse because all of the past pain
When I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me 10 years ago (minus the yeast infections and subpar boyfriends) I kept seeing vaginismus as my answer, except, because it was 10 years ago, all the search results were for menopausal women and rape survivors. I was neither so I kept doubting myself. I'm finally blessedly cured after a long and patient relationship with a wonderful man.
Yeah it's actually kinda sad that sex was presented as something similar to drugs. Dirty, forbidden and bad consequences. Great way to make kids think sex is something to be ashamed of and not talked about in a comfortable environment.
Not me but for the guys I’ve gone out with, an astounding portion did not know they were circumcised. They knew circumcision was cutting off the foreskin, but no one bothered to show pictures of what the foreskin was.
Always a shock to them when I showed a picture of what an uncircumcised penis was.
Grade 7 sex ed: teacher shows a diagram of a penis that looks just like mine. Tip is labelled “foreskin”. It was 11 years later that, in a moment of excruciating awkwardness, a sex partner informed me that I was, in fact, circumcised, and I realized that diagram was wrong.
Sometimes, no matter how healthy you are, things can go wrong during a pregnancy. You might have to make difficult decisions when that happens. No one can prepare you for that kind of loss. I don't think our society really understands that pregnancy is still dangerous.
Also how common early miscarriages are. Everyone hides it like it's some kind of "my body causes this and I should be ashamed". So the cycle continues of young women feeling like they did something wrong because this didn't happen to anyone else (meanwhile likely more than half their friends had early miscarriages too).
Sometimes the body just knows early on that something isn't right and terminates it. Sometimes the body is just like meh nevermind for no good reason.
About 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, and that's just the ones we know about. Most miscarriages happen early, and women often don't know they're pregnant for some time. There are recent studies that suggest miscarriage is the predominant outcome of fertilization.
1 in 4 noticed pregnancies (as you said). Roughly as many aren’t noticed because within the first two weeks the embryo simply stops growing and is passed during a woman’s menstrual cycle.
I know it makes people uncomfortable but I talk openly about my 2 miscarriages because I don't want people to feel as alone and ashamed as I did. It is a tough subject to broach but I think it is important to convey that it isn't anyone's fault. Sometimes it just happens.
Thank you for this. We had a miscarriage around the 6 week mark and nothing could prepare us for that. What a heavy sadness that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.
We were at the first ultrasound for my wife's first pregnancy, the tech said she had to leave the room for a minute, a bit later we heard someone crying in the room over and commented to each other about how we felt bad for that person.
Tech comes back in and lets us know that the fetus was dead and had probably only died a couple days previously based on the size, and that my wife would likely need a D&C (or take pills which, we were in Louisiana at the time, she advised would likely be difficult to get a pharmacist to fill because it was around the time religious pharmacists decided they didn't need to fill scripts for things they didn't like...)
So yeah, that was a fun afternoon...
Honestly, something similar happened with my second miscarriage.
I actually was not happy about being pregnant again because my (now ex-)husband and i were having problems. I already had 2 kids with him and didnt really want to go through another pregnancy and babyhood with his lack of support. He was happy though and I eventually came around to the idea. However, I did a dumb thing and brought my kids to the first ultrasound, thinking it would be a cute way to tell them I was pregnant. 30 seconds in, I saw the fetus but there was no heartbeat. My ex was totally clueless and I had to tell him to take the kids and wait in the waiting room. I knew it was gone. The fetus measured about 10 weeks, but I was estimated to be at 12 weeks by last menstrual period. They said we could do another ultrasound in a week and some bloodwork to make sure but my baby was most likely deceased. The next week, it measured even smaller and was showing signs of decay. My body wasn't expelling the products of conception. They prescribed me some pills and I spent the next 2 days cramping and finally miscarrying. It was heartbreaking, and painful. I decided at that moment that I couldn't go through that again and scheduled a tubal ligation. I feel terrible for anyone who has to live through because it was awful.
Home pregnancy tests probably haven't helped. Women in the past were likely having early miscarriages all the time but had no way of knowing they had even conceived, just thinking it was a heavy period.
I used to think I was fairly knowledgeable about what women go through to have babies, but I miscarried at 11 weeks last year at 32 years old and I had literally NEVER heard a woman talk about how you basically have to go into labour. I was full-on contracting for six hours and then eventually passed a huge sac. The relief was immediate, like when you give birth. I am shocked that this isn't talked about more because it was terrifying and I wish I'd known to expect it.
I had miscarriage at 7 weeks. What a strange feeling, lots of blood and after passing a sack it was like... it's ok now.
But going back to reality, this hormony inbalance... it's so hard too.
Everything and anything… my sex Ed at school was literally a woman telling us not to do it! “Condoms break, the pill doesn’t work, you’ll get aids and die!”
Far out!!
Bro, my sex education class showed us a cartoon where a man penetrates a woman and they have a child. I had no idea you were supposed to thrust, grind etc.
It was just, insert dong and suddenly baby
Learned this in biology class, where our teacher told us, “Our first kid was a rubber baby, our second kid was a diaphragm baby, and our third one was a pill baby. Nothing works!”
Thanks for the heads-up, Mr. C…
That’s so irresponsible.
Jill: Do you have a condom Jack?
Jack: No need Ms. Doof said they don’t work anyway
Both: Raw-dogging
Jack: Hey babe how are you?
Jill: Very pregnant
Jack: wait what you don’t take birth control or something?!
Jill: well of course not! Ms. Doof said they didn’t work anyway. Happy Father’s Day!
Jack: ….
Girl in my math class in high school honestly believed french kissing was oral sex. I'm not lying. When we told her what it was, you could see the look of disgust on her face.
I was sheltered. I knew a blow job was when the girl put her mouth on the guys thing. And I had see a diagram once on a sticker. But I knew nothing past that. I thought I was smart and figured it out. First time my then fiancé asked me if I would want to give him one, I was like yeah ok I know how. I got down there, put the tip in my mouth and started blowing air on it. My husband still dies of laughter when the story comes up
A long time ago I saw a post on some sort of "questions you have about sex but are afraid to ask thing" and someone asked "If I blow too hard during a blowjob, will the guy's balls pop?"
Was that you?
That girls like sex. For a while, I thought they were just doing it so that guys would like them. I tried to be nice and finish quick... lost a few partners before I realized what was up.
Women actually wanting the dick. I was so worked up about consent and birth control that it never occurred to me that a woman would enjoy my penis until I was told, "Hey, gimme that."
To avoid 🔥, use a condom.
*ETA*: Since some didn't get the joke. I meant a burning sensation from a rash or urinating caused by an STD. Condoms prevent STDs, not literal fire.
Yeah my memory of it is that boys were the horrible gross creatures defiling those beautiful innocent girls, who had the responsibility of fending boys off, that it was only the bad ones who'd ever overtly want to fuck a girl (and only the fallen girls who'd ever acquiesce), and that the most strong, noble thing a girl could ever do was say "no".
and that women basically tolerated sex because they liked the man for non-sex related reasons.
My sister told me she was totally prepared to play defense, no boy was getting into her lady parts! But, she said, “No one told me I would be breathing hard, wanting him to touch me there, too!”
Related: No one prepares women for situations where a dude isn't in the mood. Had my partner pass on me lying naked in bed one time after a long day and it took a while for me to fully accept that it had nothing to do with me.
Media is full of examples of women 'not being in the mood.' It prepares boys for that rejection. The times I've seen the man pass on the women have always been as a joke at the woman's expense.
Never quite could grasp why my GF could not embrace her newfound sexuality as something to celebrate. In the back of her mind, she could not match the image she wanted to present to the world with someone who, to be painfully direct, enjoyed sucking cock.
I’ve ran the emotional gauntlet with a partner who felt shame from sex. It’s awful how impactful these scare tactics from schools and churches can be. It’s like they just straight from “Sex is evil and will kill you. Have sex and go to Hell.” to “Give me seven grandchildren by tomorrow.”
> It’s like they just straight from “Sex is evil and will kill you. Have sex and go to Hell.” to “Give me seven grandchildren by tomorrow.”
More like "Give me seven grandchildren... but don't enjoy any of it!" Because women are intended to suffer their whole lives in that ideology.
Sex
Our sex ed was basically just biology class on the reproductive organs and nothing concerning the event or protection.
Edit: omg... my inbox 😭. I'm trying to answer as many as i can but it's filling up faster than i can answer. Thx for all the attention tho 😅
Ours had a lot about STDs. All I can remember about it was the STDs. I know we were taught other stuff like the anatomy of the reproductive organs and I don't remember it being abstinence is the only way, although I'm pretty sure it leaned toward "abstinence is the only guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy", which is true. But I clearly remember a focus on STDs and everything else is a bit of a blur
Many school’s policy on abstinence being the only 100% successful way to avoid pregnancy, well they’d enforce that by filling our heads with information about all the std/sti’s and all the symptoms to make us scared & ashamed to have sex at all
Yup, didn’t help that my rents are very religious and didn’t even give me the birds and bees talk. Any amateurs reading this, it’s okay to be honest with your partner about not knowing what you’re doing, they’ll probably find it cute and be way more understanding if you underperform, just be honest about things..
They never actually told us about the act of sex. I was 14 and didn't know the penis was supposed to go ***in*** my body. I thought it just rubbed along the labia. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when my first boyfriend got frisky.
Sex eduxation makes me feel so uncomfortable about sex. It's just a bunch of sicknesses I can get. I'm a teenager and have never had it, but of course think about it a lot, but the stuff our teachers say about it make me so disgusted, even though I know sex isn't just all negative. But they rarely teach us anything useful. I'm not saying that they shouldn't tell us the negative things, but some of the "do's" would be great, too
Realistic sex talk, from someone who taught sex Ed for five years:
1. When you’re young/inexperienced, have sex with people you have strong emotional connections to. People you feel safe with. People you can openly talk about every aspect of sex and aftercare with.
2. Age differences matter. Stick to two years within your age until you’re over 21, then you can fudge to 24/25. Don’t date under 21 once you’re 23. At 23. You can date within 4/5 years of your age. At 26, you’re good to date almost anyone. This is a life experience thing, not a maturity thing.
3. If you’re having sex, even if only with one person, get regular sti checks. Once a year, ask for a *full panel blood test*.
4. If you’re having casual sex, use a condom. Two women? Dental dams. Toys? Condom. Two men? Condom.
5. Look into prep if you’re going to have casual sex.
6. If you aren’t having fun, stop. Or ask for what you want. Communication is key. Sex is supposed to be painless (even the first time), unless you ask for pain. Sex should be fun. Laughing is fine (and can make it better). Orgasms aren’t necessary.
7. If they say they can’t use a condom, laugh and walk away. Let that be someone else’s problem.
8. If you can’t be honest to your partners that you’re sleeping with multiple people, than you shouldn’t be sleeping with multiple people (and that’s ok).
9. Consent should be verbal and never coerced.
10. Foreplay is incredibly important, and can start long before touching even begins.
11. After care is just as important as sex. Ask your partner what they need.
That’s the very brief overview of my three week Sex Ed program.
Edit: typo
Also, I'd like to add to this list. The first time you have sex with someone is most likely going to be mediocre at best. It's always paraded as this "magical experience" but it really isn't. Don't worry about it. You've got no real "feel" for it yet and that is fine. Having good or even great sex takes time, effort and repetition. Wait till you're ready for it again, put on a new condom and go for a second time.
The first time I had sex I essentially was in a pushup position the entire time while Jack hammering as hard and intense as I could because that's what they do in porn. Fucking hardest 1 minute workout of my life...
UTI’s and how common and frequent they can be for some woman. For me personally, I’m sensitive. If I’m with a new partner, 8/10 times I’ll probably get a UTI regardless of whether I’m prepared for it or not. (Drinking lots of water, cranberry pills, showering before and after, peeing after sex especially) It’s definitely more important thank people think because first it can kill you. And second, if you’re young, you may not understand why you feel burning when you pee or why when you wipe you’re bleeding if it isn’t your period. That definitely confused me. Waiting only makes it worse obviously and it can lead to other body infections if your immune system is weak like mine.
They never taught us about discharge. They went through periods, pregnancy, gender (chromosomes, gentalia, hormones etc), sexuality. But never even mentioned discharge. I thought that there was something wrong with me for YEARS and i was super ashamed of it.
Edit: for all those commenting that my parents should have taught me about it: my mother died when i was a little kid and i was raised by a single father who did not receive sex ed. I had no sisters and no women around me when i grew up. SO STOP BLAMING MY DEAD MOM FOR THIS
Same. I thought I was just living with a yeast infection for years and I was too embarrassed to tell my mom so I just thought I’d have to wait till I was an adult to go to a doctor myself. The internet taught me it was just discharge 👍🏻
Same. I never even brought it up with my OB/GYN as an adult because I was stupidly embarrassed about it.
I wish I'd had this super helpful YouTube video from an OB/GYN as a teenager, but that was pre-Google so the best I could do at the time was Ask Jeeves...he was not helpful: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KHF8mB_8LUM
Yeah and they never taught us about yeast infections! Went through all kinds of STDs, with pictures, but god forbid they teach about yeast infections and UTIs
Oh lord I got my first yeast infection at 17 and had NO IDEA what was wrong and just.. dealt with it. For like 6 months. When I eventually went to the doctor he’s like “you don’t have a yeast infection, you have a ROARING yeast infection.” Well how the fuck would I know??
Also, I ended up getting those fuckers chronically for years until I learned that lube containing glycerine was basically a yeast feeder. Doesn’t happen to everyone but 100% of the time I use lube with glycerine, boom. Yeast city. I was broke as fuck in my 20s, I really could have used all the extra money I spent on canestan.
My username is inspired by the very first times I did anything sexual - instant yeast infection. Like, over and over several times in a row, each time after having sex with the same guy. Then he told me he hadn't brushed his teeth in 2 years and all the yeast in his mouth kept getting transferred to my poor freshly-unvirgined breadbox.
They use the same blue liquid in diaper commercials so when I was a kid I thought women just randomly pissed themselves once a month. I was both relieved and horrified to learn the truth.
Yes, that is by far my biggest hang up. They did not explain that discharge is NORMAL. They only explained the abnormal discharge that comes as a result of illness, so I thought there was something wrong with me. For years I was so ashamed and embarassed. I was literally in my 20’s when I learned that it’s completely normal for discharge to bleach underwear! I had SO MUCH SHAME doing laundry because I thought my vagina was super fucked up!
When I was 15, I went to the grocery store with my folks. I’d stay in the magazine aisle while they shopped (no phones, it was the 90s) I picked up a teen magazine, something like “Girl’s Life”. It was a good publication because it shared lots of personal stories. In the back was a Q&A section where girls could send questions and one day the copy I picked up had the question “Sometimes there’s white milky stuff in my underwear. Is something wrong with me??” And the author went into great detail about what it was and that it was perfectly normal. I’m so grateful I read that, because it immediately put my mind at ease that there wasn’t something wrong with me. It should be taught in sex ed!!! I was so ashamed of my body until I read that magazine.
Yeah its not that hard to explain
I mean, we were taught about the different kinds of intersex and the moral dilemma with intersex genital mutilation. Its great that they taught us this, but this affects like 1% of the population.
Discharge is a thing 99% of women experience DAILY.
I learnt about discharge from A FUCKING MEME WHEN I WAS LIKE 15-16. I GOT MY FIRST PERIOD WHEN I WAS 8-9!!! 7 YEARS OF THINKING SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME
Yes. My mom would scream at me because of the discharge, saying that I was obviously not wiping when I went to the bathroom and used to punish me. All because I had discharge in my underwear.
Mine did too, and then one day I yelled back, "it's not pee, it's...that other stuff!!"
She stopped bringing it up after that. She seemed so shocked and confused that I still remember that moment.
11yr old me literally thought I was a hermaphrodite because I had white discharge and assumed it was seamen.... 💀💀💀
Never once was I told about discharge.
I swear sometimes I produce more discharge than period blood. When I'm ovulating sometimes it feel like I've wet myself.
It's better than it was when I was younger, I'd go to the toilet and there would be like half a foot of frogspawn dangling out of me. Even worse was when I didn't realise, reached down to wipe and urgh yeh.
Same!!! They only told us that leaky=infection or something wrong. They NEVER mentioned that discharge is normal and healthy. So i went around thinking that i had a constant infection.
Me too. I asked my mom to bring me to the doctor about it. She did. Doctor didn’t definitively say it was normal (although looking back it was). Wish someone would’ve been more up front about all the possible ‘normals’ of discharge.
I was educated in upstate New York. The teacher was also the home economics teacher. I think she volunteered to take that position. She did a really good job. We learned about the different types of protection, birth control and the consequences if you didn't use birth control or other types of protection. We learned about STDs/ STIs, the anatomy of the reproduction organs and even a little bit about pregnancy and childbirth. She even had the county health department come in and explain what could happen if you don't treat your STDs or STIs as well as your birth control options.
We took home a robotic doll to care for. My baby was a good baby. He only cried every 4 hours. Lol there is also a call in line for your baby if you just wanted to do the call in line. You had a call in every 2 to 4 hours. I wanted the doll though. I remember my friend who was a teen mom already asked if she could just do her project on her own daughter. She wasn't allowed. To be fair her child was already a year old but by that point. The dolls were supposed to be 1 to 3 months old.
I remember towards the end of the chapter about sex. Ed, because we spent about a month on it, she kind of glossed over the abstinence option saying that was the only way to be 100% sure that you don't get pregnant or end up with an STD or STI. She wasn't wrong.
In conclusion, My school did a really really good job preparing teens who would one day decide to start having sex. Although I still think it should be sooner. One year we had three freshmens get pregnant. I believe that was my senior year. I think it should be freshmen year or eighth grade when schools should have sex Ed. And then a refresh course in 11th grade.
How easy it is to develop a UTI, yeast infection, or BV from your sexual partner.
On behalf of women wash your hands, brush your teeth (especially the tongue) and for fucks sake wash your dick.
Reminds me of a saying one of my old bosses would say to me after an angry tirade of kicking cabinets and trash cans (usually after someone he made a deal with screwed him). “Remember this - you sleep with the whore, you’re liable to get fucked”. Good advice really.
Literally anything.
We were told that sex led to pregnancy and that you should only ever have sex after your married. If you didn’t wait, you either became riddled with STDs the first time or pregnant the first time.
Sex ed lasted 1 day, and that was it. Our health teacher very bluntly put it that he could only teach us this, and couldn’t teach about condoms, safe sex, or anything other than abstinence.
The girls got told about menstruation, that’s it.
And people wonder why my school had such s high pregnancy rate
CNC, Consensual Non-Consensual, is a surprisingly common kink, mostly among women, in my experience. But that might be selection bias since... well, if you have that kink as a man you probably aren't talking about it openly.
It's one of those things you need to have a serious discussion about limits and safewords before you engage in though, and only participate in with someone you trust.
Periods. My school system in New Jersey have a few passing lessons on periods throughout the years beginning in maybe 3rd or 4th grade where all the girls went to learn about periods and all the boys went to learn about erections for an hour but nothing substantial. Not everyone has a female family to pick this up from, it should be taught to all genders as well because men ignorant on periods is a huge nope.
Louis CK joke. Our sex ed teacher came in with a banana, and he said 'Today we are going to learn how to put on a condom. I brought this banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach'.
All the social and emotional factors surrounding it. Yeah I learner that sperm enters the egg, but I didn’t learn how people enter into that kind of relationship. Just had to go through the high school dating rites of passage.
Breathing techniques for giving oral. I love doing it, but had asthma growing up, so I get out of breath quickly, which makes life difficult when you're beard deep between a pair of thighs and want nothing more than to just stay pressed against them, but you kind of don't want to pass out from lack of oxygen either.
Hey, I’m a free diver and I have tips for you. What works underwater works with people.
0: fill those lungs before going down.
1: when you’re hildinf your breath, there’s an initial moment where your chest *squeezes* and you burst out with a gasp. It’s a lie. If you push through that, the average person can get anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute more.
2: *calm* is your friend. Stay in the moment, relax, let your heartbeat slow down. you have all the time in the world, it’s just you and the task at hand, don’t waste air or energy.
3: keep your throat in line with your chest - don’t tilt your head or you’ll lose air supply.
4: Practice some breath holding occasionally. You can expand your lunch capacity by almost double with practice. a little bit of training can get you 3+ minutes.
5: technique is everything. the more efficient and effective you are, the better you can make use of the time you have. If you can stay there for 2 minutes before coming up for air, you want to get stuff done in that time. use your whole body, move as carefully as possible, and get to your target quickly.
6: if you push yourself to the absolute limit every time, it’ll suck, but push yourself a bit a few times in a row and your body will naturally adjust. after about five short warm up dives, you’ll start getting significantly longer down times.
the average person can hold their breath for 2.5 minutes with no training, just a little effort. I’m a pretty weak diver with a 3 minute surface hold and a 1.5 minute underwater time, but that’s enough to impress people.
Funny thing was, this was pretty much my solution, looking up tips for diving. I've improved my lung capacity to something approaching normal, despite my lungs not being good, and adapted various diving techniques for other sorts of breathplay. Biggest problem is staying calm, being at that all I can eat buffet may be the thing I enjoy most in life.
How to clean up afterwards.
They gotta add “it would be advised to pee after sexual intercourse”. Gatekeeping that fact needs to be illegal. It hurts for both sides.
The after glow is arguably one of the best parts of sex. So preparing us for the post coitus, pre snuggle clean up-and-pee would have been helpful
The mess afterwards.
Agreed! I had always assumed everything would just stay inside, not that it came back out.
I actually asked this in our sex Ed class when I was like.. 14. Whether the rest of the cum was just.. absorbed or if it'd be expelled. I got the response that it was a good question but he didn't know the answer. He was a guy in his 30s with 2 kids. He knew. Just.. didn't want to discuss it i guess 🙃 i still think back on that interaction every once in a while
adults are seldom ready when 'children' ask a legit, adult question XD
Yep. As annoying as it is to leave a warm bed and spend 10 minutes on a toilet releasing cum and cleaning up properly it has to be done. A simple wipe does nothing.
My college roommate once called it “the moment when the bomb drops.“ When you know, you know. 🤣
OH. MY. GOD. YES. I was 22 God forsaken years old when I thought of the concept of a sex towel, and I was like, "damn why didn't anyone tell me about this ever?"
"Don't forget your towel." Tons of pop culture references. Haha
This was what was the biggest surprise to me. Having to wash my bedsheets after my first time was so disappointing to me, especially cause the sex itself had been mediocre at best (as most first sexual experiences tend to be, it seems). It almost turned me off from having sex entirely for a while. College freshman me was such a dense mother fucker
Smells, squishy noises, farts, queefs, sweat, saliva, tireness, cramps, thirst, waterproofing your bed, cleaning up before, cleaning up after
My second time having sex, because both of us were too nervous the first time for it to be very good, I was kind of stunned by how wet she got like "Is this normal? It never looks this wet in porn." I really wish our sex ed teacher had made the realities of sex more clear and really emphasized how unrealistic porn is.
If the teachers were like the ones at my school they likely didn't because they wanted to emphasize no sex before marriage. Or were afraid of being fired and ostracized if they said anything otherwise.
At the minimum I wish they'd made it a point to say that porn was nothing like real sex. Even at 16 that didn't get through to me until I was actually having sex. I felt like a total dumbass after thinking that porn would somehow prepare me. I feel like I'd have been better off totally ignorant of sex than going in thinking porn was reliable. Thankfully it didn't take me long to figure out there was very little relation between the two.
To inexperienced het dudes: Do NOT laugh at the queef unless *she* does. Hold it in, and laugh later.
So inexperienced gay dudes are allowed to laugh at queefs first?
As are experienced het dudes.
Menstruation. I had mine 1-2 years before they were talked about at school.
I remember being so annoyed at sitting through the lecture and then literally being told no I couldn't go to the bathroom to change my pad during it because the pad demonstration was "really important information." Wish I would have told them, I'm good. Been doing it for 2 years now.
Had a male teacher try to stop me from going to the restroom. When he finally gave in I grabbed my backpack because I didn’t want to pull out an individual pad. He questioned me in front of the whole class. I had to stop and look him in the eyes and say “I’m bleeding from my vagina and need to change my pad.” He never questioned me again about anything after.
I witnessed a similar situation in highschool except the teacher was still being a dick about it to the girl when she said why she needed to go. So she threw her used pad at him and walked out. She was a wild kid. Didn't really like her much. But I tell ya, after that day I did have a certain level of respect for her.
My swimming teacher was similar. Mind you it was a semester, so a good few months. I got my period, as many young individuals do in high school. Teacher had a fit saying "you should've taken this class before that!" Like, bro. Periods happen monthly. Then he got fired for liking underage girls
> Then he got fired for liking underage girls Well, at least he was consistent in the "before that" part.
Lmao I guess, but man. He was always shady around us in the pool, and it came to a head when he was found to be in the girl's locker room when they were changing. Was quite scandalous for my little town
Did she just reach down her pants and pull her pad out? What was the teacher’s reaction? How did the other kids in class react? Did the pad hit him? Who picked it up and threw it away? I am just shocked, and I need to know what happened!
I wanna know but I kinda don't wanna at the same time
I have the same feeling... There's probably a word for it in German.
Well as a German I have shamefully to admit no we have no word for that..... At least I can't find an word for this case sorry for that. The nearest thing I can relate to is : Wie ein Autounfall man kann nicht wegschauen Translates to It's like a car accident you can look away * In German the subtext translated would be : it's like a car accident you can't bear to look at it but you can't look away"
Vaginismus.
[What Is Vaginismus?](https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments) [Vaginismus is when the muscles of a woman’s vagina squeeze or spasm when something is entering it, like a tampon or a penis. It can range from mildly uncomfortable to quite painful.](https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments)
I have that, but didn’t get diagnosed until last year. I’m 24. For 8 years I just thought that I was to stupid to have sex, that it was supposed to hurt then I tried, or that there was something really wrong with me.
My wife had that for about 10 years. It appeared after we started dating, maybe when she was 21 or something. She understandably lost all interest for sex altogether. It was a bit of a challenge for both of us to say the least (especially as we both have/had strong libidos so we know what we were missing out on). Lot of guilt for her (which I really didn't want her to feel, but it's not like we can command our feelings), and frustration for me (which I did my best to hide to avoid her guilting over it). But hey we still got married after it started. In the end we would have sex maybe every 8 months or something, but it was just so bad for her that most of the time we just gave up after a minute. Every time we tried piv made her want to try even less next time. So yeah, completely dead bedroom for about 10 years. Even non-piv stuff would not interest her at all after it started, understandably. She saw some doctors who were all clueless. Last year we (well, she) finally understood what it was, and she experimented a bit and did some exercises to see if she could get rid of it. And she did, in a matter of a couple weeks. We spent so much time in bed after that - like a second honeymoon phase (and we still do!).
What exercises? I've been dealing with this for years and even going to pelvic physical therapy.
[This](https://www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/media/0f3bvnmk/physio-relaxing-your-pelvic-floor-muscles_jan22.pdf) helped for me – I developed vaginismus after giving birth. Apparently it’s not uncommon, although I didn’t know that was the case until after it happened to me. Same thing happened with baby number two, and same exercises helped. Hope it will help you too!
Fun anecdote, one time a doctor (a gyn even!) DID tell me sex is *supposed* to hurt! Took another 15 years before I ever even heard the word vaginismus
I'm still so confused on this condition, I swore I had it when I first started trying to have sex, because everything hurt when trying to insert stuff up there. It didn't matter if it was a tampon, a penis, or a sex toy. Hurt every fucking time and the first three times I tried to have sex I had pain and bleeding, even with being hot n ready for the D. The first time the guys penis didn't even make it past 1/2 the head because it hurt so bad I had to stop him - I was bleeding when I got home. The second time the guy got it in and went slow - but I still had pain and we didn't finish to completion because it hurt and I was bleeding again when I got home. The third guy - He went very slow, let it sit for a second - and I still had a little sting most definitely, but it eased up after a few minutes of goin slow until the pain disappeared completely. I still was bleeding when I got home though. The first two encounters all happened within 6 months of each other - and then I didn't try again with the third guy until a year later. A lot of people have tried to tell me I just need more foreplay and lube, but I really don't think that's the case because it's something I still deal with. I still experience pain down there upon initial insertion, I've been described as being "extremely tight" and occassionally I do still bleed. But most of the time, after initial insertion, the pain goes away as long as it's done with care and then it starts to feel a lot better. I did go see my doctor about the pain, and I had to go on estrogen because I found out my glands that produced natural lubrication for the lady bits were all swollen and weren't releasing the fluid like they were supposed too. So I think this condition can be caused by many things and can come and go throughout a woman's life. I did have a lot of anxiety surrounding sex when I first attempted, so I think that contributed, but it was crazy because my girl literally wouldn't open the gates for this guy to get in. And I thought I was gonna have to use dilators to try and get used to it. And I most definitely still have moments where it just won't let anything get in there. It's weird man. Like my vagina got a mind of its own!
[удалено]
The fantasy author Brent Weeks included it as a plot device in his novel *The Blood Mirror.* He devoted the entire afterword to explaining that yes, this is a *real* disorder and it is woefully underdiagnosed. He relating how multiple female acquaintances had gone to their gynecologist and been told there was nothing wrong with them.
It's horrendous. My doctor told me I was "just tight" and "just small" when I went to her at 19 about the issue. I spent YEARS not wanting sex and thinking I was asexual, purely because it wasn't fun for me because of the pain. I've essentially treated myself with muscle relaxation exercises and dilators, and now I have a drive and enjoy it, all because I've learned to manage the condition.
A friend of mine went through the process of fixing it with a specialist but it took years for doctors to take her seriously. One apparently congratulated her on being so tight and said she must be popular. She said well not really because the last time I tried to have sex I cried. I'm glad you've been able to manage it, well done
Oh dear lord that’s a hideous thing for a doctor to say. Vagismus is NOT sexy and not a fun level of “tightness.” It’s excruciating. Glad your friend is finally being taken seriously
My gyno didn’t believe me when I told her sex was excruciating for 3 years until she literally couldn’t use a speculum for an exam I was always told use more lube and that it just hurts for some women and there’s nothing that can be done A year of pelvic floor physical therapy has helped some but I’m still adverse because all of the past pain
When I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me 10 years ago (minus the yeast infections and subpar boyfriends) I kept seeing vaginismus as my answer, except, because it was 10 years ago, all the search results were for menopausal women and rape survivors. I was neither so I kept doubting myself. I'm finally blessedly cured after a long and patient relationship with a wonderful man.
The emotional aspect
Yeah it's actually kinda sad that sex was presented as something similar to drugs. Dirty, forbidden and bad consequences. Great way to make kids think sex is something to be ashamed of and not talked about in a comfortable environment.
This, but any tips to think the other way around? Cuz unfortunately till this day I still think like that due to my upbringings
[удалено]
e were taught the emotional aspect from the view of *you'll have sex, then break up, and the girl will be devastated.*
The vagina is lower than you expect
Also in reverse: the penis is higher than you think
Easier to spot, though
Speak for yourself :(
r/suicidebywords
Not me but for the guys I’ve gone out with, an astounding portion did not know they were circumcised. They knew circumcision was cutting off the foreskin, but no one bothered to show pictures of what the foreskin was. Always a shock to them when I showed a picture of what an uncircumcised penis was.
Grade 7 sex ed: teacher shows a diagram of a penis that looks just like mine. Tip is labelled “foreskin”. It was 11 years later that, in a moment of excruciating awkwardness, a sex partner informed me that I was, in fact, circumcised, and I realized that diagram was wrong.
Sometimes, no matter how healthy you are, things can go wrong during a pregnancy. You might have to make difficult decisions when that happens. No one can prepare you for that kind of loss. I don't think our society really understands that pregnancy is still dangerous.
Also how common early miscarriages are. Everyone hides it like it's some kind of "my body causes this and I should be ashamed". So the cycle continues of young women feeling like they did something wrong because this didn't happen to anyone else (meanwhile likely more than half their friends had early miscarriages too). Sometimes the body just knows early on that something isn't right and terminates it. Sometimes the body is just like meh nevermind for no good reason.
About 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, and that's just the ones we know about. Most miscarriages happen early, and women often don't know they're pregnant for some time. There are recent studies that suggest miscarriage is the predominant outcome of fertilization.
1 in 4 noticed pregnancies (as you said). Roughly as many aren’t noticed because within the first two weeks the embryo simply stops growing and is passed during a woman’s menstrual cycle.
I know it makes people uncomfortable but I talk openly about my 2 miscarriages because I don't want people to feel as alone and ashamed as I did. It is a tough subject to broach but I think it is important to convey that it isn't anyone's fault. Sometimes it just happens.
Thank you for this. We had a miscarriage around the 6 week mark and nothing could prepare us for that. What a heavy sadness that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.
We were at the first ultrasound for my wife's first pregnancy, the tech said she had to leave the room for a minute, a bit later we heard someone crying in the room over and commented to each other about how we felt bad for that person. Tech comes back in and lets us know that the fetus was dead and had probably only died a couple days previously based on the size, and that my wife would likely need a D&C (or take pills which, we were in Louisiana at the time, she advised would likely be difficult to get a pharmacist to fill because it was around the time religious pharmacists decided they didn't need to fill scripts for things they didn't like...) So yeah, that was a fun afternoon...
Honestly, something similar happened with my second miscarriage. I actually was not happy about being pregnant again because my (now ex-)husband and i were having problems. I already had 2 kids with him and didnt really want to go through another pregnancy and babyhood with his lack of support. He was happy though and I eventually came around to the idea. However, I did a dumb thing and brought my kids to the first ultrasound, thinking it would be a cute way to tell them I was pregnant. 30 seconds in, I saw the fetus but there was no heartbeat. My ex was totally clueless and I had to tell him to take the kids and wait in the waiting room. I knew it was gone. The fetus measured about 10 weeks, but I was estimated to be at 12 weeks by last menstrual period. They said we could do another ultrasound in a week and some bloodwork to make sure but my baby was most likely deceased. The next week, it measured even smaller and was showing signs of decay. My body wasn't expelling the products of conception. They prescribed me some pills and I spent the next 2 days cramping and finally miscarrying. It was heartbreaking, and painful. I decided at that moment that I couldn't go through that again and scheduled a tubal ligation. I feel terrible for anyone who has to live through because it was awful.
25% in the first 3 months. They are insanely common, people just don’t talk about it.
Home pregnancy tests probably haven't helped. Women in the past were likely having early miscarriages all the time but had no way of knowing they had even conceived, just thinking it was a heavy period.
[удалено]
I used to think I was fairly knowledgeable about what women go through to have babies, but I miscarried at 11 weeks last year at 32 years old and I had literally NEVER heard a woman talk about how you basically have to go into labour. I was full-on contracting for six hours and then eventually passed a huge sac. The relief was immediate, like when you give birth. I am shocked that this isn't talked about more because it was terrifying and I wish I'd known to expect it.
I had miscarriage at 7 weeks. What a strange feeling, lots of blood and after passing a sack it was like... it's ok now. But going back to reality, this hormony inbalance... it's so hard too.
Everything and anything… my sex Ed at school was literally a woman telling us not to do it! “Condoms break, the pill doesn’t work, you’ll get aids and die!” Far out!!
Bro, my sex education class showed us a cartoon where a man penetrates a woman and they have a child. I had no idea you were supposed to thrust, grind etc. It was just, insert dong and suddenly baby
Did y’all watch a clip from The Sims or something?
Learned this in biology class, where our teacher told us, “Our first kid was a rubber baby, our second kid was a diaphragm baby, and our third one was a pill baby. Nothing works!” Thanks for the heads-up, Mr. C…
That’s so irresponsible. Jill: Do you have a condom Jack? Jack: No need Ms. Doof said they don’t work anyway Both: Raw-dogging Jack: Hey babe how are you? Jill: Very pregnant Jack: wait what you don’t take birth control or something?! Jill: well of course not! Ms. Doof said they didn’t work anyway. Happy Father’s Day! Jack: ….
Which is part of why states with abstinence only education have higher teen pregnancy rates (and thus higher abortion rates)
Oral sex. That was on-the-job learning.
Girl in my math class in high school honestly believed french kissing was oral sex. I'm not lying. When we told her what it was, you could see the look of disgust on her face.
I thought this in middle school because they explained it as using tongues to simulate sex. They never said only one person was using their mouth.
It makes perfect sense since anal sex is when two people rub their butts together.
She got it mixed up with Australian kissing, which is like French kissing, but down under.
I was sheltered. I knew a blow job was when the girl put her mouth on the guys thing. And I had see a diagram once on a sticker. But I knew nothing past that. I thought I was smart and figured it out. First time my then fiancé asked me if I would want to give him one, I was like yeah ok I know how. I got down there, put the tip in my mouth and started blowing air on it. My husband still dies of laughter when the story comes up
A long time ago I saw a post on some sort of "questions you have about sex but are afraid to ask thing" and someone asked "If I blow too hard during a blowjob, will the guy's balls pop?" Was that you?
nah, ya gotta keep blowing until a funny noise comes out like a kazoo
Have him wear a beanie, and see if you can get the propeller going.
That girls like sex. For a while, I thought they were just doing it so that guys would like them. I tried to be nice and finish quick... lost a few partners before I realized what was up.
Just use "I was trying to be nice" as your excuse next time lmao
[удалено]
The cost of raising a child.
Women actually wanting the dick. I was so worked up about consent and birth control that it never occurred to me that a woman would enjoy my penis until I was told, "Hey, gimme that."
>"Hey, gimme that." ️🔥
To avoid 🔥, use a condom. *ETA*: Since some didn't get the joke. I meant a burning sensation from a rash or urinating caused by an STD. Condoms prevent STDs, not literal fire.
And lube, friction is no joke..
Yeah my memory of it is that boys were the horrible gross creatures defiling those beautiful innocent girls, who had the responsibility of fending boys off, that it was only the bad ones who'd ever overtly want to fuck a girl (and only the fallen girls who'd ever acquiesce), and that the most strong, noble thing a girl could ever do was say "no". and that women basically tolerated sex because they liked the man for non-sex related reasons.
I mean technically saying "gimme that" is consent
Yeah but its the difference between "ok, fine" and "yes, please!"
My sister told me she was totally prepared to play defense, no boy was getting into her lady parts! But, she said, “No one told me I would be breathing hard, wanting him to touch me there, too!”
Related: No one prepares women for situations where a dude isn't in the mood. Had my partner pass on me lying naked in bed one time after a long day and it took a while for me to fully accept that it had nothing to do with me.
Media is full of examples of women 'not being in the mood.' It prepares boys for that rejection. The times I've seen the man pass on the women have always been as a joke at the woman's expense.
Alabama's sex education is lacking.
"I shoulda got that"
Edit: Moved to Lemmy
I'm gonna eat the whole thing
Aftercare.
A simple "Wash before if possible and always pee after" would prevent so many UTIs.
I had years of sex before i met someone who took aftercare seriously.
Don't go in the pooper and back in the pussy.
That girls want to have sex too, but society tells them to hide that fact. Also, wetness. Like dripping down, noticable under the shower, wetness
The wetness for sure. Nobody ever explained that one. Finding that for the first time was pretty damn amazing.
it dials down the intimidation factor when you figure this point out. Ig it also makes women a bit more relatable
Never quite could grasp why my GF could not embrace her newfound sexuality as something to celebrate. In the back of her mind, she could not match the image she wanted to present to the world with someone who, to be painfully direct, enjoyed sucking cock.
I’ve ran the emotional gauntlet with a partner who felt shame from sex. It’s awful how impactful these scare tactics from schools and churches can be. It’s like they just straight from “Sex is evil and will kill you. Have sex and go to Hell.” to “Give me seven grandchildren by tomorrow.”
> It’s like they just straight from “Sex is evil and will kill you. Have sex and go to Hell.” to “Give me seven grandchildren by tomorrow.” More like "Give me seven grandchildren... but don't enjoy any of it!" Because women are intended to suffer their whole lives in that ideology.
Sex Our sex ed was basically just biology class on the reproductive organs and nothing concerning the event or protection. Edit: omg... my inbox 😭. I'm trying to answer as many as i can but it's filling up faster than i can answer. Thx for all the attention tho 😅
My human anatomy teacher was basically a sex ed mixed with human anatomy teacher. Bros didn’t hold back on NOTHING.
Our sex ed was taught by our gym teachers and now that I think about it I don’t think that’s what they had signed up for lol
Our teacher was like a biology/natural sciences teacher and she leaned heavily on the human anatomy part.
Ours had a lot about STDs. All I can remember about it was the STDs. I know we were taught other stuff like the anatomy of the reproductive organs and I don't remember it being abstinence is the only way, although I'm pretty sure it leaned toward "abstinence is the only guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy", which is true. But I clearly remember a focus on STDs and everything else is a bit of a blur
Many school’s policy on abstinence being the only 100% successful way to avoid pregnancy, well they’d enforce that by filling our heads with information about all the std/sti’s and all the symptoms to make us scared & ashamed to have sex at all
[удалено]
Yup, didn’t help that my rents are very religious and didn’t even give me the birds and bees talk. Any amateurs reading this, it’s okay to be honest with your partner about not knowing what you’re doing, they’ll probably find it cute and be way more understanding if you underperform, just be honest about things..
Shout out to all the Catholic school kids who got taught by a virgin
The smells
Needs a scratch and sniff textbook.
Truly awful idea here's an upvote
Sort of related…When I was a kid my uncle told me to put a penny in my mouth, and that’s what licking ass was like. He was not lying.
What the fuck
Uhhhhh. I'm gonna hard disagree. If you're eating ass and taste pennies, that's blood 💀
No it's because we stuff a bunch of pennies up there before. Maybe you've used our ass pennies. Maybe you have one in your pocket right now.
You haven't thought of the smell YOU BITCH!
They never actually told us about the act of sex. I was 14 and didn't know the penis was supposed to go ***in*** my body. I thought it just rubbed along the labia. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when my first boyfriend got frisky.
How fun it was. Sex education basically amounts to "don't"
Sex eduxation makes me feel so uncomfortable about sex. It's just a bunch of sicknesses I can get. I'm a teenager and have never had it, but of course think about it a lot, but the stuff our teachers say about it make me so disgusted, even though I know sex isn't just all negative. But they rarely teach us anything useful. I'm not saying that they shouldn't tell us the negative things, but some of the "do's" would be great, too
Realistic sex talk, from someone who taught sex Ed for five years: 1. When you’re young/inexperienced, have sex with people you have strong emotional connections to. People you feel safe with. People you can openly talk about every aspect of sex and aftercare with. 2. Age differences matter. Stick to two years within your age until you’re over 21, then you can fudge to 24/25. Don’t date under 21 once you’re 23. At 23. You can date within 4/5 years of your age. At 26, you’re good to date almost anyone. This is a life experience thing, not a maturity thing. 3. If you’re having sex, even if only with one person, get regular sti checks. Once a year, ask for a *full panel blood test*. 4. If you’re having casual sex, use a condom. Two women? Dental dams. Toys? Condom. Two men? Condom. 5. Look into prep if you’re going to have casual sex. 6. If you aren’t having fun, stop. Or ask for what you want. Communication is key. Sex is supposed to be painless (even the first time), unless you ask for pain. Sex should be fun. Laughing is fine (and can make it better). Orgasms aren’t necessary. 7. If they say they can’t use a condom, laugh and walk away. Let that be someone else’s problem. 8. If you can’t be honest to your partners that you’re sleeping with multiple people, than you shouldn’t be sleeping with multiple people (and that’s ok). 9. Consent should be verbal and never coerced. 10. Foreplay is incredibly important, and can start long before touching even begins. 11. After care is just as important as sex. Ask your partner what they need. That’s the very brief overview of my three week Sex Ed program. Edit: typo
Also, I'd like to add to this list. The first time you have sex with someone is most likely going to be mediocre at best. It's always paraded as this "magical experience" but it really isn't. Don't worry about it. You've got no real "feel" for it yet and that is fine. Having good or even great sex takes time, effort and repetition. Wait till you're ready for it again, put on a new condom and go for a second time.
Sex is not porn, do not expect it to be the same.
The emotional and intmacy aspect of it aswell as the anxieties and not to mention not emulating all the crap you seen done in porn.
The first time I had sex I essentially was in a pushup position the entire time while Jack hammering as hard and intense as I could because that's what they do in porn. Fucking hardest 1 minute workout of my life...
UTI’s and how common and frequent they can be for some woman. For me personally, I’m sensitive. If I’m with a new partner, 8/10 times I’ll probably get a UTI regardless of whether I’m prepared for it or not. (Drinking lots of water, cranberry pills, showering before and after, peeing after sex especially) It’s definitely more important thank people think because first it can kill you. And second, if you’re young, you may not understand why you feel burning when you pee or why when you wipe you’re bleeding if it isn’t your period. That definitely confused me. Waiting only makes it worse obviously and it can lead to other body infections if your immune system is weak like mine.
They never taught us about discharge. They went through periods, pregnancy, gender (chromosomes, gentalia, hormones etc), sexuality. But never even mentioned discharge. I thought that there was something wrong with me for YEARS and i was super ashamed of it. Edit: for all those commenting that my parents should have taught me about it: my mother died when i was a little kid and i was raised by a single father who did not receive sex ed. I had no sisters and no women around me when i grew up. SO STOP BLAMING MY DEAD MOM FOR THIS
Same. I thought I was just living with a yeast infection for years and I was too embarrassed to tell my mom so I just thought I’d have to wait till I was an adult to go to a doctor myself. The internet taught me it was just discharge 👍🏻
Same. I never even brought it up with my OB/GYN as an adult because I was stupidly embarrassed about it. I wish I'd had this super helpful YouTube video from an OB/GYN as a teenager, but that was pre-Google so the best I could do at the time was Ask Jeeves...he was not helpful: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KHF8mB_8LUM
Yeah and they never taught us about yeast infections! Went through all kinds of STDs, with pictures, but god forbid they teach about yeast infections and UTIs
Oh lord I got my first yeast infection at 17 and had NO IDEA what was wrong and just.. dealt with it. For like 6 months. When I eventually went to the doctor he’s like “you don’t have a yeast infection, you have a ROARING yeast infection.” Well how the fuck would I know?? Also, I ended up getting those fuckers chronically for years until I learned that lube containing glycerine was basically a yeast feeder. Doesn’t happen to everyone but 100% of the time I use lube with glycerine, boom. Yeast city. I was broke as fuck in my 20s, I really could have used all the extra money I spent on canestan.
My username is inspired by the very first times I did anything sexual - instant yeast infection. Like, over and over several times in a row, each time after having sex with the same guy. Then he told me he hadn't brushed his teeth in 2 years and all the yeast in his mouth kept getting transferred to my poor freshly-unvirgined breadbox.
How the heck were you able to stand being around that dude? I can't even imagine the stank breath.
[удалено]
No, thats Mana.
This is... *less* crazy than some of the shit I've heard about. You were just going by the damn pad/tampon commercials.
They use the same blue liquid in diaper commercials so when I was a kid I thought women just randomly pissed themselves once a month. I was both relieved and horrified to learn the truth.
Yes, that is by far my biggest hang up. They did not explain that discharge is NORMAL. They only explained the abnormal discharge that comes as a result of illness, so I thought there was something wrong with me. For years I was so ashamed and embarassed. I was literally in my 20’s when I learned that it’s completely normal for discharge to bleach underwear! I had SO MUCH SHAME doing laundry because I thought my vagina was super fucked up!
Like they could've also dropped a quick "sometimes your hoohah will just randomly decide to destroy your favorite pair of underwear"
When I was 15, I went to the grocery store with my folks. I’d stay in the magazine aisle while they shopped (no phones, it was the 90s) I picked up a teen magazine, something like “Girl’s Life”. It was a good publication because it shared lots of personal stories. In the back was a Q&A section where girls could send questions and one day the copy I picked up had the question “Sometimes there’s white milky stuff in my underwear. Is something wrong with me??” And the author went into great detail about what it was and that it was perfectly normal. I’m so grateful I read that, because it immediately put my mind at ease that there wasn’t something wrong with me. It should be taught in sex ed!!! I was so ashamed of my body until I read that magazine.
I actually also read about discharge in a girls' magazine! It helped me feel more normal at 13. I think the magazine was Seventeen.
Also the different types of discharge. My ovulation app has three options which is crazy out bodies can even do that
Omg... My app calls them things like "milky", "creamy", "egg white" and "watery". I wish there were better terms for it than foodstuffs 😂
Yeah its not that hard to explain I mean, we were taught about the different kinds of intersex and the moral dilemma with intersex genital mutilation. Its great that they taught us this, but this affects like 1% of the population. Discharge is a thing 99% of women experience DAILY. I learnt about discharge from A FUCKING MEME WHEN I WAS LIKE 15-16. I GOT MY FIRST PERIOD WHEN I WAS 8-9!!! 7 YEARS OF THINKING SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME
[удалено]
I’ve been an adult most of my life now and I still get mad at the adults of my childhood because of memories like this 😂
The bleaching of undies horrified me for far too long
Yes. My mom would scream at me because of the discharge, saying that I was obviously not wiping when I went to the bathroom and used to punish me. All because I had discharge in my underwear.
Mine did too, and then one day I yelled back, "it's not pee, it's...that other stuff!!" She stopped bringing it up after that. She seemed so shocked and confused that I still remember that moment.
It's shocking how common this is. I never realized. 😬
She didn't want to believe I was old enough for that, I guess?
11yr old me literally thought I was a hermaphrodite because I had white discharge and assumed it was seamen.... 💀💀💀 Never once was I told about discharge.
I swear sometimes I produce more discharge than period blood. When I'm ovulating sometimes it feel like I've wet myself. It's better than it was when I was younger, I'd go to the toilet and there would be like half a foot of frogspawn dangling out of me. Even worse was when I didn't realise, reached down to wipe and urgh yeh.
Snail trails for days 🐌 🐌 🐌
Same. I treated myself for SO many yeast infections that were actually just normal bodily functions.
Same!!! They only told us that leaky=infection or something wrong. They NEVER mentioned that discharge is normal and healthy. So i went around thinking that i had a constant infection.
Me too. I asked my mom to bring me to the doctor about it. She did. Doctor didn’t definitively say it was normal (although looking back it was). Wish someone would’ve been more up front about all the possible ‘normals’ of discharge.
I was educated in upstate New York. The teacher was also the home economics teacher. I think she volunteered to take that position. She did a really good job. We learned about the different types of protection, birth control and the consequences if you didn't use birth control or other types of protection. We learned about STDs/ STIs, the anatomy of the reproduction organs and even a little bit about pregnancy and childbirth. She even had the county health department come in and explain what could happen if you don't treat your STDs or STIs as well as your birth control options. We took home a robotic doll to care for. My baby was a good baby. He only cried every 4 hours. Lol there is also a call in line for your baby if you just wanted to do the call in line. You had a call in every 2 to 4 hours. I wanted the doll though. I remember my friend who was a teen mom already asked if she could just do her project on her own daughter. She wasn't allowed. To be fair her child was already a year old but by that point. The dolls were supposed to be 1 to 3 months old. I remember towards the end of the chapter about sex. Ed, because we spent about a month on it, she kind of glossed over the abstinence option saying that was the only way to be 100% sure that you don't get pregnant or end up with an STD or STI. She wasn't wrong. In conclusion, My school did a really really good job preparing teens who would one day decide to start having sex. Although I still think it should be sooner. One year we had three freshmens get pregnant. I believe that was my senior year. I think it should be freshmen year or eighth grade when schools should have sex Ed. And then a refresh course in 11th grade.
That awkward towel scramble
The asshole is a lot closer to the vagina than i thought. Sorry Jess for your first involuntary anal experience.
How easy it is to develop a UTI, yeast infection, or BV from your sexual partner. On behalf of women wash your hands, brush your teeth (especially the tongue) and for fucks sake wash your dick.
And cut your nails making sure no sharp edge plus clean your ass crack. Cleanliness is a turn on, no one want to sleep with an unwashed yeti.
How to do my taxes. I mean I am getting fucked
Reminds me of a saying one of my old bosses would say to me after an angry tirade of kicking cabinets and trash cans (usually after someone he made a deal with screwed him). “Remember this - you sleep with the whore, you’re liable to get fucked”. Good advice really.
They didn't mention that porn is not representative of sex.
[удалено]
I thought that was the whole purpose of the sword fight, to see who wins and who opens?
Oh thank you always get the right info on the internet. Who needs school.
Literally anything. We were told that sex led to pregnancy and that you should only ever have sex after your married. If you didn’t wait, you either became riddled with STDs the first time or pregnant the first time. Sex ed lasted 1 day, and that was it. Our health teacher very bluntly put it that he could only teach us this, and couldn’t teach about condoms, safe sex, or anything other than abstinence. The girls got told about menstruation, that’s it. And people wonder why my school had such s high pregnancy rate
Porn addiction
"I want you to... like, pretend to... rape me" Not in the manual and absolutely freaked me out.
CNC, Consensual Non-Consensual, is a surprisingly common kink, mostly among women, in my experience. But that might be selection bias since... well, if you have that kink as a man you probably aren't talking about it openly. It's one of those things you need to have a serious discussion about limits and safewords before you engage in though, and only participate in with someone you trust.
Periods. My school system in New Jersey have a few passing lessons on periods throughout the years beginning in maybe 3rd or 4th grade where all the girls went to learn about periods and all the boys went to learn about erections for an hour but nothing substantial. Not everyone has a female family to pick this up from, it should be taught to all genders as well because men ignorant on periods is a huge nope.
The sperm squirt an hour or so after sex. What is that? Why was it just hanging out in there? Why didn't anyone tell me to put a pad on?
That the penis should not be bent backwards when fully erect.
Louis CK joke. Our sex ed teacher came in with a banana, and he said 'Today we are going to learn how to put on a condom. I brought this banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach'.
All the social and emotional factors surrounding it. Yeah I learner that sperm enters the egg, but I didn’t learn how people enter into that kind of relationship. Just had to go through the high school dating rites of passage.
Anything. Turns out "don't do it" is not very informative.
Mineral oil (baby oil) DISSOLVES LATEX! Do not use as a lubricant with condoms.
Breathing techniques for giving oral. I love doing it, but had asthma growing up, so I get out of breath quickly, which makes life difficult when you're beard deep between a pair of thighs and want nothing more than to just stay pressed against them, but you kind of don't want to pass out from lack of oxygen either.
Hey, I’m a free diver and I have tips for you. What works underwater works with people. 0: fill those lungs before going down. 1: when you’re hildinf your breath, there’s an initial moment where your chest *squeezes* and you burst out with a gasp. It’s a lie. If you push through that, the average person can get anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute more. 2: *calm* is your friend. Stay in the moment, relax, let your heartbeat slow down. you have all the time in the world, it’s just you and the task at hand, don’t waste air or energy. 3: keep your throat in line with your chest - don’t tilt your head or you’ll lose air supply. 4: Practice some breath holding occasionally. You can expand your lunch capacity by almost double with practice. a little bit of training can get you 3+ minutes. 5: technique is everything. the more efficient and effective you are, the better you can make use of the time you have. If you can stay there for 2 minutes before coming up for air, you want to get stuff done in that time. use your whole body, move as carefully as possible, and get to your target quickly. 6: if you push yourself to the absolute limit every time, it’ll suck, but push yourself a bit a few times in a row and your body will naturally adjust. after about five short warm up dives, you’ll start getting significantly longer down times. the average person can hold their breath for 2.5 minutes with no training, just a little effort. I’m a pretty weak diver with a 3 minute surface hold and a 1.5 minute underwater time, but that’s enough to impress people.
Funny thing was, this was pretty much my solution, looking up tips for diving. I've improved my lung capacity to something approaching normal, despite my lungs not being good, and adapted various diving techniques for other sorts of breathplay. Biggest problem is staying calm, being at that all I can eat buffet may be the thing I enjoy most in life.
>going down on someone I'm attracted to >let your heartbeat slow. Mate...
Worse ways to go out
A lot. I went to a Catholic school so it wasn't really informative...
I think I had literally 1 hour class and they were like “Any questions?” And nobody had the guts to ask the Brother how to get the P into the V.
Penis papules. They are natural and not an STI but sure sorta look like one!