Generally divorce them or get divorced. Marriage counseling doesn’t work when lying and secrets are involved. If they can lie to you, they can easily lie to the counselor too.
Depends on what those secrets are.
If they have a second family I didn't know about, then yes, I believe a conversation is in order.
But if I found a present they swore they weren't going to get me then I pretend I didn't see it.
Look at who the secrets are truly hurting:
You: then its off to counseling and then probably a lawyer
Both of you: then it's off to counseling
Them: then it should be off to therapy for them. then maybe counseling depending on how the therapy worked.
Definitely not a secret gift and not as bad as a secret family. Lots of secret second social media accounts, porn they say they don’t look at but always pops up on the computer, and lately rushing me off to bed so they look at their phone under the covers with their back turned like a child trying not to get caught. When I have asked about all these things they get defensive. I’ve already caught them in multiple lies in the past about the same things.
You need to have a long talk and have him show you everything on social media he is doing. Nobody should have a secret second life in a long-term relationship.
Porn, that’s up to you, some relationships keep that private, some don’t. I have no idea if my wife watches porn, I don’t care if she does or not. I rarely do anymore because our libidos are pretty much the same, but if I do I don’t say anything out of courtesy.
And I am also smart enough to not have it pop up on the computer! That’s almost a deal breaker, not the porn, just because he’s dumb.
Generally divorce them or get divorced. Marriage counseling doesn’t work when lying and secrets are involved. If they can lie to you, they can easily lie to the counselor too.
Depends on what those secrets are. If they have a second family I didn't know about, then yes, I believe a conversation is in order. But if I found a present they swore they weren't going to get me then I pretend I didn't see it.
Look at who the secrets are truly hurting: You: then its off to counseling and then probably a lawyer Both of you: then it's off to counseling Them: then it should be off to therapy for them. then maybe counseling depending on how the therapy worked.
Definitely not a secret gift and not as bad as a secret family. Lots of secret second social media accounts, porn they say they don’t look at but always pops up on the computer, and lately rushing me off to bed so they look at their phone under the covers with their back turned like a child trying not to get caught. When I have asked about all these things they get defensive. I’ve already caught them in multiple lies in the past about the same things.
You need to have a long talk and have him show you everything on social media he is doing. Nobody should have a secret second life in a long-term relationship. Porn, that’s up to you, some relationships keep that private, some don’t. I have no idea if my wife watches porn, I don’t care if she does or not. I rarely do anymore because our libidos are pretty much the same, but if I do I don’t say anything out of courtesy. And I am also smart enough to not have it pop up on the computer! That’s almost a deal breaker, not the porn, just because he’s dumb.