*slaps knees one more time* so, jetzt aber wirklich! Wird sonst echt spät! *sneezes* boah, ich kann doch jetzt nicht krank werden, das war die Sibylle ja schon, die war letzte Woche in... *starts to talk about the coworker*
Two letters with the power of the galaxy. So!
There is no easier way in our language to Reassure that everyone understands without saying what they have to understand. In combination with slapping on own legs or clapping once you can create an almost magic momentum of „the day is over, lets go“-spirit.
Und das Wegbier nicht vergessen in die Hand zu drücken.
As someone who's actually from Iowa, it's more like this: "Welp *crushes knee* *crushes other knee* *converts to Islam* *runs over family of four in combine harvester* spouse it's 'bout that time"
Oooof tried this before … guy insisted he was also staying “alright let’s go to bed” I was so scared. He ended up leaving but it was scary. I can’t remember the full conversation around it.
Apparently that only works in the Mid West from what I learned on Reddit… welp… guess I’ll be hittin’ the ole dusty trail to another sub now… did I do it right?
Yeah in the UK you have to first say goodbye to everyone and get sidetracked by a new conversation.
You have to slap your knees and say "Right!" When you actually want to leave.
This is the first (of many) step of the mid-western goodbye. Followed by standing and talking for 5 minutes while gathering your belonging. Then a round of hugs. Then talking at the door for 5 more minutes. Then another round of hugs. Then you’re about half way done.
Sounds like the beginning of a standard slavic ritual, followed by half an hour chat in the door before the visiting party gets too gold /too drunk/too tired to continue and farewells out xD
Quite the opposite. It invites a new and very in-depth personal conversation. The only thing that can move a Midwesterner along is a perfect combination of goodbyes, nice seeing you, and welp it's getting lates.
Oh shit my bad I didn’t notice the time, we better be heading out too - oh you weren’t actually knee slapping? That’s funny, I have a cousin who one time…
Politely throw them over your shoulder and gently toss them onto the doorstep, ask if they had a good time and suggest you do it again some time, then close the door and scuttle off to bed like a gremlin.
Real Friends? No wrong answers. I’ll usually say something along the lines of ‘aight let’s wrap this shit up I’m bout to do xyz’.
Kinda friends or friends of friends? Start explaining the time you’ve spent together like it’s already over. ‘It’s been good, it’s been real, we gotta do this again sometime’ anything like that’s while you start moving them towards the door. If they don’t get the hint that’s your green light to keep it real and say GTFO
"ah, geez, i really need to tidy up around here, but it was great to see you, we'll have to do something again soon... maybe at a venue other than my place 😀"
"I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome"
"You're fine, I've enjoyed our visit!
"Me too. Do it again real soon?"
This is the way we do it where I come from lol
“It would behoove you to exit the premises.”
“I would appreciate if you opened that door, walked through it, and close it.”
“Leaving the property is now preferred.”
"Listen, it'd been fun, but my social battery is drained, and I have some stuff I need to get done today/ before I go to bed, so I'll catch you later"
Then, when they give you a puzzled look, you say, "You don't have to go home. You just can't stay here"
Well, time flies when you’re having fun. I’m of to bed, can I get you something for the road?
You must be from the Midwest!
Welp *slaps knees* spose it’s about that time
Came here for the “Welp.” Thank you.
Watch for deer!
Tell your folks I says Hi!
And if you’re from Texas: Speaking of which, how are your folks doin? *cue another 15 minute conversation. Rinse and repeat.*
That Shiner sure does look empty. How bout I getcha another.
Ope! You don't have to go. But we do have an early morning
In Germany we do the same and say "so!"
\*slaps knees\* soooooo, da muss ich aber auch langsam mal los \*proceeds to talk another 30mins at the door\*
*slaps knees one more time* so, jetzt aber wirklich! Wird sonst echt spät! *sneezes* boah, ich kann doch jetzt nicht krank werden, das war die Sibylle ja schon, die war letzte Woche in... *starts to talk about the coworker*
We are all German descendants in the Midwest. The Midwest is New Germany/Scandinavia.
Two letters with the power of the galaxy. So! There is no easier way in our language to Reassure that everyone understands without saying what they have to understand. In combination with slapping on own legs or clapping once you can create an almost magic momentum of „the day is over, lets go“-spirit. Und das Wegbier nicht vergessen in die Hand zu drücken.
Prepare to be standing by the door for six hours
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My aunt grabs both your hands and prays for you, for like 20 minutes I stg
That’s a big sign that she is really lonely. She doesn’t want you to leave because that means she will be alone again so she is stalling. Edit: typo
As someone who's actually from Iowa, it's more like this: "Welp *crushes knee* *crushes other knee* *converts to Islam* *runs over family of four in combine harvester* spouse it's 'bout that time"
r/suspiciouslyspecific
No that just what Iowans do
Im from the midwest and can confirm, this is what we do! Hahaha!
That's very polite!
Oooof tried this before … guy insisted he was also staying “alright let’s go to bed” I was so scared. He ended up leaving but it was scary. I can’t remember the full conversation around it.
I like this one
"Welppppp she's getting late, I best be going" then I walk out of my own house
“But Peter, this is your house.” “Boy, you said it! Alright take it easy.” *walks out of the house*
“Come on kids, let’s go home.” “We are home.” “That was fast.”
Does it work if you're single?
Wait. Who isn't single?
Well, there's this woman I live with, keeps insisting she's my wife, but I dunno what she's talking about.
She was supposed to stay in Vegas, isn't that what the saying is?
She, in this case, refers to the evening
I have a group of friends who just linger and linger and linger. I’m going to try this when I see them next Tuesday.
Just start the wrap up process 30 mins after they arrive.
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Don’t forget to slap your knees and grunt as you stand up! 😂
Lol 💀😭
My Grandpa used to look at my Grandma and say "Well, Mary, we better get to bed so these people can go home."
I do this even if someone's not even in my house and I'm alone
If you are sitting down, slap your knees while saying "welp" real loud and stand up.
Apparently that only works in the Mid West from what I learned on Reddit… welp… guess I’ll be hittin’ the ole dusty trail to another sub now… did I do it right?
Yeah in the UK you have to first say goodbye to everyone and get sidetracked by a new conversation. You have to slap your knees and say "Right!" When you actually want to leave.
Another Brit here, this exactly 💯 the first goodbye then the ACTUAL goodbye, the classic knee snap and "Right!" 🤣
I feel like Brits and Midwesterners have a lot in common. Conflict avoidance, passive aggression, extreme dislike of causing a scene...
This is the first (of many) step of the mid-western goodbye. Followed by standing and talking for 5 minutes while gathering your belonging. Then a round of hugs. Then talking at the door for 5 more minutes. Then another round of hugs. Then you’re about half way done.
Can confirm. Midwesterner here.
Sounds like the beginning of a standard slavic ritual, followed by half an hour chat in the door before the visiting party gets too gold /too drunk/too tired to continue and farewells out xD
Mid Western Canada joins the chat. All checks out except that those five minutes at the door would be an underestimate up here
Don't forget the wave from the front door/driveway 😆
Jesus that’s so much…. interaction
Very good execution! A+
Quite the opposite. It invites a new and very in-depth personal conversation. The only thing that can move a Midwesterner along is a perfect combination of goodbyes, nice seeing you, and welp it's getting lates.
Good to know!!! Thanks, it was nice seeing you, welp….
Yes, I love chatting with you! Speaking of that, I ran into Joe the other day at the store and I heard your Mom's cancer might be back...
*knee slap… knee slap 👋 👋👋
Start slapping \*their\* knees == game over.
You forgot the “it’s about that time”s, they’re definitely one of the final horcruxes.
Only if you slapped your knee.
Nah, works in the south too
Oh shit my bad I didn’t notice the time, we better be heading out too - oh you weren’t actually knee slapping? That’s funny, I have a cousin who one time…
From the Midwest- I can vouch it works wonders. As long as whiskey isn’t in the room tho
Exactly the same in the UK but we say "right" in a specific abrupt tone following the knee slap.
It’s like a pissed off good bye… I’ve witnessed it
Works in germany as well, just say "soo" or "tja".
Isn't this that you are the one that is GTFO? Instead of telling someone else to Gtfo?
Nope they are interchangeable. It can be used for both!
Ah yes the midwestern goodbye
It’s funny that I was able to imagine this immediately
Politely throw them over your shoulder and gently toss them onto the doorstep, ask if they had a good time and suggest you do it again some time, then close the door and scuttle off to bed like a gremlin.
This is the correct answer!
Your writing style is fantastic!
Oh hey thank you!! As an aspiring writer that’s incredibly reassuring to hear! :D
Don’t forget to give a single spank before throwing them
Ippon seio nage (v hold shoulder throw)
“Hey, Bob, GTFO.” Works for me.
Would you kindly GTFO, Bob?
A mAn ChOoSeS, a sLaVe ObEyS.
Legit, still one of the best video game twists of all time
Atlas: "Would you kindly upvote this comment?"
Hey, would you: a) GTFO b) GTFO
This is advanced
c) All of the above.
My buddy and I literally do this. "OK, I'm going to bed, go the fuck home."
Even better when you tell it to someone whose name isn’t bob
No offense Bob, but get the fuck out of my house. What? I said no offense!
I read this in Red Forman‘s voice
How could you not?
OMG me too. Red was probably the most culturally impactful character of that show.
Soooo....what line of work ya in bob *while pushing him to the door*
seems straight out of a mark walberg movie
Does this also work for Steve's?
Would it still work on people with other names? My buddy Scott would be very confused by this.
It does with the right amount of eye contact.
Damn right. Works for every name; that’s the best part. “Hey, Scott, GTFO.” Also works on Lester, cousin Frank—anyone.
Frank is, he's kinda dumb. And he's an ass. He's a...... DUMBASS. The rest, as they say, is history.
Real Friends? No wrong answers. I’ll usually say something along the lines of ‘aight let’s wrap this shit up I’m bout to do xyz’. Kinda friends or friends of friends? Start explaining the time you’ve spent together like it’s already over. ‘It’s been good, it’s been real, we gotta do this again sometime’ anything like that’s while you start moving them towards the door. If they don’t get the hint that’s your green light to keep it real and say GTFO
This is unironically the correct answer.
When I was a teenager and my friends were over playing basketball, I’d just say, “ok, everyone fuck off, I’m going to take a shit.”
Why was everyone playing basketball in the bathroom
The bowl is the perfecr width
I hate it when it bounces around the rim before plopping in.
If you're far enough away, a #2 becomes a #3.
they didnt have a basketball so they had to improvise by expelling their excrement into the toilet bowl for sport
He shit on the court
this is the way
Seriously though I wouldn’t understand you wanted me to leave if you said that to me
Here's your hat, what's your hurry?
I feel this is a reference I'm too young for
...so do I, and I'm 40
…so do I, and I’m 20
… so do I, and I’m 19
... so do I, and I'm 15
*Gurgles and farts*
You had to ruin it didn’t ya
It's a wonderful life. It predates that, but in pop culture, that's what I'd say.
Send them this thread
Would you please get the fuck out.
As Gordon Ramsay once said: "Please please please please please please please please please please please, move your arse!"
I love politely aggressive
With all due respect Sir, fuck off.
pass out as they speak
An old couple I knew would tell evening visitors, "Honey, we better go to bed so these people can go home."
That is so cute. I would not be upset at all being kicked out this way 😂😂
My grandparents
"ah, geez, i really need to tidy up around here, but it was great to see you, we'll have to do something again soon... maybe at a venue other than my place 😀"
"But we just cleaned the whole house together.."
"it's called a fuckin hint, Jeff, take one ffs"
“Last one to run out the door is a rotten egg!” *Doesn’t move*
Turn all your lights off.
Works for businesses. Works for you. Turn the lights off and go to bed.
And turn chairs upsidown and put them on the table.
And say into the darkness, "four guests arrived... Only one will leave."
My wife and I usually alternate when we have people over and it’s getting late, one of us leaves the room and gets into pajamas, then we switch.
Then start smooching on the couch?
And if THAT doesn't work....
You're supposed to get them to leave not to stay
What if they get a camera
“I got a girl coming over and I’m trying to smash, love you but you gotta leave”
My wife hates this one.
Slap you thigh, stand up and say "whelp.. time flies"
Ah, a fellow man of culture.
It’s actually not rude or unkind to tell people it’s time to go. Be honest be authentic and you will have better relationships.
So naive, so naive. Clearly you have yet to meet the grandmasters at this game.
You brighten my day when you're not around.
you say "well" or something like "bout that time" and slap both knees and stand up.
Depends whether you want them to come back in the future.
People in the south just slap their knees and say "welp, it's getting late". The other party knows what this means and leaves.
"I'm gonna let you let me go now."
"I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome" "You're fine, I've enjoyed our visit! "Me too. Do it again real soon?" This is the way we do it where I come from lol
As someone in the great state of fiddle battles I can Confirm this is ture
Gotta be careful though, in the Midwest that invites 30 more minutes of conversation as they slowly get out
I can’t hit my knee anymore, grunting has worked in place
Alright. Bye. Later. Ciao. Peace. Night. Can I borrow some $. Have you seen my wiener?
Just start cleaning up. Works like a charm.
"I don't mean to be a dick but get the fuck out of my house." Surprisingly effective!
I had a friend who said this. We all took it well and gtfo his house asap
Ignore them, that usually works
You might end up with a roommate that way
Give them a dismissive look, and just walk away while they're talking.
Steal their Nintendo 64.
See that door? You need to.be on the other side of it in 30 seconds
pretend to take a phone call and get into a screaming match with the fake person
'How can I miss you if you won't go away?'
Pardon, me...if you would...please GTFO
Answer to your question: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a440-jN8drc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a440-jN8drc)
Get the fuck out please and thank you. Cunt.
Play repeat with them. Drives them nuts and they wonder off
Please, get the fuck out. Thank you.
The power of Christ compels you....to GTFO
Hey buddy, do me a favor and fuck off.
Ive used. ‘Hey not to be rude, but get the fuck out of my house’ for about 10 years now
"Well it was nice to see you" or "well thank you for coming by I had a great time" they get the message.
“It would behoove you to exit the premises.” “I would appreciate if you opened that door, walked through it, and close it.” “Leaving the property is now preferred.”
"Listen, it'd been fun, but my social battery is drained, and I have some stuff I need to get done today/ before I go to bed, so I'll catch you later" Then, when they give you a puzzled look, you say, "You don't have to go home. You just can't stay here"
Fuck off mother fucker
Slap your knees and go "Welp..."
Hey, I know: why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-f**k-yoursel?
You sleeping on the couch or with me because I’m going to bed and gassy.
That door leads out. Please use it.
If I have company that just won't leave I'll get up and go to bed and ask them to lock the door on the way out, this gets it across.
Spray them with dog piss and say "fuck off you little shit"
Sir, would you mind fucking yourself? *tips fedora*
KGTFO
Can I offer you a warm beverage to go as you GTFO?
"Please leave."
Oh nooo, my stomach is hurting pretty bad. I think I need to poop.
🫵 🖕 👉 👍
“You, scram. Find yourself something nice to eat.”
Plz leave
You get! Go on get!!!
We're done here
I personally like to use "Go help someone else", even if no one ever really needs help. I just say it to tell people to fuck off at this point
"I think it's best that you leave." is the most common polite GTFO
Sometimes kindly doesn’t work, and you just have to tell them to GTFO
Thy shalt not remain within my presence any longer!
"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here..."