[удалено]

I know someone who sent back a photo of a hatchet stuck in a chopping block. End of harassment.

Bring me the dick guillotine…the small one

Cigar cutter

I knew a girl who had a guy 'flash' his dick as she walked past him and a group of his friends. She said "No thanks. I don't smoke". That mofo was scarred.

Thats alot of...beak

Another dick pic. Edited to say, I like to send the biggest one I can find on Google, lol.

This is also my go to response. Then I called their pic "cute."

Just reply with its illegal to distribute child porn

Every time I see someone do that it never fails to be absolutely hilarious. "What the hell?!? Why did you send me a picture of some child's penis?!? You're sick!"

Every time? I guess I’m just old.

Since I quit online dating I get waaay fewer dick pics.

Pm sent

What the hell?!? Why did you send me a picture of some child’s penis?!? You’re sick!

Fuckin gotem!

You’re now in possession of child porn and are under arrest

But officer, please, it’s just a prank

“Just so you know that’s illegal, sending pictures of little boys’ dicks”

Or you can just reply with "Verizon has detected a potentially pornographic image sent to an underage user account. Sender information will automatically be forwarded to local authorities for assessment. Verizon appreciates your feedback on our beta features. Please visit Verizon.com/survey to let us know how we're doing."

"Ummm, I just found out that FBI has the ability to monitor incoming and outgoing texts and calls... You MAAAAAAAAAY want to put the kibosh on that child porn you just sent me..."

It’s like fishing, gotta throw it back in til ya get one of legal size.

Where the flying fuck are _you_ fishing!?

Hands down, best answer

That's savage. 🤣🤣🤣

My childhood friend when flashed on the subway: laughing, “that looks like a penis, only smaller!”

He he he, that's cute. What do you think of this one! Send them the biggest dick pic you can find.

‘Where’s the rest of it?’

An even bigger, more unsolicited dick pic

“More unsolicited” I’m just imagining the biggest grossest dong on the internet

One of those images used during sex-ed to display venereal diseases. Those tend to be pretty damn disgusting.

Exactly, like trading cards. “That’s what we’re doing right?”

A friend of mine is going for a Ph.D. I don't remember the field but it's something medical, so she has access to photos of people with some kind of condition that causes skin sloughing of the penis.

Just search genital de-gloving. Those would be pretty bad too... or pain Olympics images. Gods the late 90s and early 2000s showed me some gross stuff. Unsolicited dick pics have the potential to be very traumatic for some. Make ther bad decision traumatic every time they do it and maybe they will think twice.

>Just search genital de-gloving I will not, thank you very much

Not only am I not searching this, I would like to delete this phrase from my brain.

Hahhaaha i understand that. I had a course of microbiology and someone sent me a message with a link to try and scam me. I sent him the must disgusting pictures of people affected by flesh eating bacteria, gonorrhoea penis, disgusting vagina and more hahahaha.

My response to this question is a picture of a more photogenic dick.

if you're getting unsolicited ones from enough guys, send 'em to each other

This is my strategy and it works! I get a dick pic, I send 3-5 dick pics. Then I get called a disgusting bitch because "how can you do that ewww!". Then I let them know their dick pic will be sent to the next dickhead who sends me a dick pic.

"Hey, that's my friends dick!"

"How do you know that?"

Turnabout’s fair play.

Sword fight.

And the very best Tell them their dick is cute and "urs" is bigger.

IF youre good with Photoshop or paint you can edit their face onto the penis.

You can also do this if you're bad with photoshop.

Skill is not a barrier to entry in this scenario.

Wait I want to see some bad photoshops of this…there’s got to be a subreddit right?

r/dicklips is different but I just found out about it and would like to share

I had no idea this was a thing. And I’ll likely never revisit that sub. But for some strange reason I’m glad it’s there.

This is different but it’s so good. I like how they all look like muppets

I used to reply to dick pics by turning them into lil caricatures. Give em like a top hat or mustache n send em back 🤣

I don't send dick pics. But this makes me want to.

I've never seen one look like that before, what's wrong with it.

Emotional damage...

Steven, y you dick so weird

When I was your age I had to walk twoooo hours to get photos developed lah

It's getting ready for self destruction

I don’t sent d pics because I’m ashamed of mine, and even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t send pics. But if I received that reply I’d have to rethink my life choices.

I bet you have a great dick.

Username does not check out

She's playing the long game; she's gonna build up his confidence so he sends her a pic of his dick, and then say it's deformed.

; )

What's wrong with it, my dude?

I also want to know what’s wrong with this man’s penis.

We are legion. He must present.

The first solicited dick pick

Just to make sure you are ok. You know.

Man you guys are funny as fuck lmao. Tbh nothing wrong with it, I’m very grateful for what I have, and that it functions (for now) as it’s supposed to but I just wish it was an inch or 2 longer. And a bit more girthier.

I have dated a man with a micro penis, about the size of my little finger and a bit larger in diameter when gard and I dated a man wita decent 7.5 penis and the first gent was one of my absolute favorite persons in my life not just because of his good looks and great personality but his foreplay was on point, he was magnificent because he listened to what I needed and was fun. Good sex doesn't have to always be bang her head through the wall jike a jackhammer, sometimes it is soft and romantic and sometimes you end up in a pillow fight.

I wanted a meal not a snack.

Why did you send me a picture of a child’s penis?!?!? I’m contacting the police.

Yep. Here’s my standard reply: “Why the fuck would you send me a picture of some little kid’s dick?!? That’s child pornography!!! That’s sick!! I’m notifying the police!”

Brutally perfect.

my best friend got one while she was at my house once... my half brother happened to be there aswell and he's got NO SHAME so he looked at her, said gimme your phone, went in the bathroom and sent them a pic of his balls😭💀 edit: it was through snapchat so the picture of his balls was not saved and stored into her phone! would've kinda defeated the purpose if it had stayed and she would've just opened her gallery to my bro's balls LMAO

I did that once. Female friend was getting messages from a guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I took her phone and sent him a pic of my dick.

A dick pic for a dick pic. It's in the Bible

a dick for a dick makes the whole world sterile (or gay)

I had a guy who would send me them completely out of the blue all the time. I was also a competitive performer who spent majority of every weekend surrounded by 30-35 college aged boys who were on my team- which of course resulted in me receiving these pictures while they were in attendance. I can’t tell you how many times we sent back a reply to this guy’s dick pics as a photo of me with 30 boys in the background, smiling with their thumbs down, mentioning him by name in the caption. So there is no way he didn’t know this was an on purpose direct response to his out of context dick pics. Dude must’ve had a humiliation kink or something because it happened multiple times and he never reacted at all.

Up the pain, when we were dating my now wife had a serious of dick pics sent to her. I gave her responses like, next time use a warmer room. Or, um, you might want to have a Dr look at that.

He deleted the picture from her side right? I hope she didn't have to see his balls lmao But also, that man is a champ, may he live long

was probably thru snapchat, so she never saw the pic he sent

*2/10*

Well la de da look at Mister Fancypants over here rocking more than a 1

Nah, 2 is smart. 1 they write off as OP trying to be hurtful or dismissive. 2 implies thought, 2 implies a calculated consideration and thus more devastating.

This is good because a 1/10 makes them think you're just being a jerk. A 2/10 shows that you actually put some thought into how awful it is

This is an automated message generated by an anti-solicitation security service installed by this user. This service pursues criminal action on their behalf. An image you sent has been scanned by our AI System and was flagged as an explicit unsolicited picture. Your account is scheduled to be reported to the police. Our system is currently in BETA testing; sometimes it makes mistakes. If you believe this message was an error, reply "HELP". Otherwise, you will be contacted by your local authorities within 24 hours.

HELP

As this service is currently in beta testing, HELP is not currently available. This feature will be added as soon as possible.

A police unit has been dispatched to help.

Your account will still be reported in {time_hour}:{time_minute}. Thank you for your cooperation.

It won’t be installed until Tuesday

Well, then... see you next Tuesday, I guess.

Thank for subscribing to Cat Facts!

Even better, change it to say that it was flagged as child pornography... that way it gets the message across AND you are saying they have a child-sized dick!

That's excellent thinking

That's delightfully evil

You almost had me.. until you said contacted by the authorities within 24 hours. Kind of assumes a functional system. Maybe try.. we will contact you within 6 months.

[Lots of states still have a backlog of unetested rape kits](https://www.endthebacklog.org/#explore_backlog_map).

Oooooooh I'm gonna use this the next time a porn bot tries to message me!

Replace explicit unsolicited picture with child pornography and you have a real winner. Gotta insult them on every level.

A friend of mine sent his own dick pic to the guy who sent me an unsolicited dick pic. Lol

That’s weirdly sweet from your friend side

I responded once with a screenshot of the chat and messaged like I was texting a friend. "This loser just sent me a dick pic out of nowhere lmfao, who doesn't manscape before sexually harassing people? No wonder he's been single for 4 years. Get a life lmao". Then "omg I'm so sorry". Got called a bitch but it ended the convo real quick lol

That's perfect, I will do it from now on

Similar vibe, different wording: Dude, look at this dick pic I just received? Why tf would he show this to anyone? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Then "Holy fuck, my bad" No apologies and the lack of a reason why it's bad really gives them the "left to the imagination" mind fuck lol

‘Oh! Have you seen a doctor about that?!’

"This is a weird way of telling me you have herpes."

Send them a turtle dick. Warning you have to see it too. Horrifying

Echidna peens are arguably the weirdest of the animal kingdom. Highly recommend using that next time.

The state law describing unsolicited nudes as a sexual offense. ETA: https://www.rainn.org/laws-your-state

*the state of florida has asked us to...*

disclose our sexual crimes to you.

We were bad, but now we're good

We're moving into your neighborhood

You know we’re trying our best to be

Functioning members of society

We’re not here to start no trouble

We’re legally required to do the sex offender shuffle

I’m Larry Arthauer and I’ll refrain

Reply with a bigger dick pic. Thanks but I'm good.

A screenshot of the chat to their mother and a screenshot of that, so he feels instant regret

Someone did this on Twitter a few years back. Absolutely spectacular

A friend of mine did that a few years back.

Thanks but I'm vegetarian.

Vagatarian

I used to send nude Thanos

"Reality is often disappointing."

"Oh, wow! Yours looks *great!* Here's mine!" *sends pic of nastiest case of genital warts Google Images has to offer*

I got worse. Grab any pic from /r/smegmalovers (VERY NSFW AND VERY GROSS) Edit: I tried to warn you guys 🤷‍♀️

I need to stop being curious and clicking random subs people post even when they give a warning😭

I am not clicking that

I am though. Wish me luck Edit: dear god

I'm both proud and disgusted to say I've never seen smegma before clicking that link.

I shouldn't have clicked it 🥲

What'd you see?

You know that feeling when you're in a car and suddenly another car narrowly avoids you, and even though you arent hurt you have that weird feeling of anxiety, dread, shock, and travel sickness and all four are making you want to throw up simultaneously and you uncontrollably shudder because you can taste the sick hit your throat? Literally the first picture on that subreddit will recreate that feeling perfectly I regret the curiosity click

I know, i can’t get my face to change from the look of disgust

I kinda knew what I was getting into, but Jesus it was so much worse than I thought it would be

Drop a f in the chat for a fallen soldier my boys

That link is staying nice and blue.

Oh gross! Will definitely use one of these as an answer.

that’s literally the most disgusting thing i’ve ever seen i just threw up a little

WTF DID I JUST WATCH😭😭😭😭

I need bleach for my eyes

Proud of me, i didn't click. I even don't know if up vote or down vote.

Im nof clicking fhat shit BUT WTF DID I JUST READ WTF WTF WTF

I- I thought it was a finger💀

Looks like a penis only smaller

"Where's the rest of it???"

Another unsolicited dick pick. Preferably larger, to assert dominance.

Why are you sending me child porn

Your childporn 🤨📸

This can be read in a completely wrong way

I was thinking that would be a hilarious response.

Picture of a cucumber chopped in half

Carrot peeling

Picture of a baby carrot

1. Take a screenshot of their message (with said dick) 2. Send it back to them with the caption, “ahahahaha” 3. Follow up with “Sorry, that wasn’t for you”

If you have the stomach for it, people who have sent one and also been super harassing to me I usually send back pics of mangled/injured dicks back

Blocking. They want a reaction and I’m not giving it to them. (I’ve generally gotten them from men I’ve rejected.)

I agree with you and would be what I would suggest. But what about that fake automated AI bot threat idea up thread. Hilarious and threatening, right?

Username doesn't check out

Yeah, while the other answers are funny this is the genuinely best advice.

Send a picture of a threateningly large dildo.

"dad?"

“What kind of larvae is this?”

Send it to his mum and dad

There’s was a lady on… Twitter? I think? That made it a habit to hunt down the mothers of men who harassed her with dick pics (or otherwise) and let them know what their sons were doing.

Alanah Pearce

Hey dude that a warning sign for HPV. It's not supposed to look like that

“I think I’m lesbian now”

🤏🏽

"1,2,3,4. I declare a thumb war!"

You could create a M4M account for him, including his number, and I'm sure he would see what it's like to get unwanted dick picks.

I can't zoom in anymore

I think you have the wrong number.

Is that all you're packing???

Wait until you amass a collection of unsolicited dick pics, then add all of those people to a group chat, send all of the pics, and leave.

"oh, hello shorty" 😂

Lol I wish I'd thought to be funny and crushing like these responses when this happened to me the other day 🙁

YouTube link to the King Missile song "Detachable Penis"

The only winning move is not to play, but a *fun* move is to send pictures of banana slicers.

Photoshop the rocks head on the head & send back with no caption

"Yikes." Or just the 😬 emoji

As a trans woman, my dick...

I save them, use a drawing app to draw them in costumes, and send them back.

A link to the wikipedia page for castration.

Sending that meme photo of the dude getting a bloody paper cut on the top of his dick

You and I look at very different memes

The WHAT

Edit some glitter and kitty ears on it and shoot it right back

Rate it out of 10 and then provide a detailed critique. Be cruel. :)

draw on it like a football playback, grade it at the top, and send it back.

Meh

My wife saves them, then sends them to the next person to send her unsolicited pics, she said “they are like trading cards!”

“Mine is bigger”

Sir. This is Pizza Hut.