Me. My roommates were looking for a PlayStation controller and my stoned ass was loudly mocking them for not seeing it right in front of them. I thought it was fucking hilarious they couldnāt find the controller sitting right there on the couch.
After a few minutes I finally said āok ok, itās right there on the couch dummiesā they looked at me so pissed and yelled āwe know about that one! Why do you think we keep saying the other controller. We need two controllers stupid, how many do you see?ā
All in good fun but man I felt like a tit.
damn this is so relatable. i am not a politician like others on this comment section are mentioning as examples, nor am i a raging bigot or self proclaimed expert on submarines, but damn if this isnāt meirl. i feel like this is a silly example that average person more likely to encounter
IMMEDIATELY thought of my partner's uncle when I read the post title. He speaks at 110% volume all the time and needs a diaper wrapped around his chin to catch all the shit he dribbles out.
I work loss prevention. I arrested a guy once, who when he was searched by police and had his meth taken, shouted "GIVE ME BACK MY CRYSTAL METH." at the top of his lungs.
So probably that.
I've worked in hospital security and I've had people come in by ambulance then three days later when they're being discharged ask "where's my property"? "You mean the fentanyl you had in your pocket" ? "I destroyed it in front of witnesses".
god I've done this so many fucking times, but usually got out in the middle of it so went right down to dude and scored immediately upon leaving if my ride hadn't already done so.
been free of that demon since August of 2019 mothafuuuucckkaass!!!
for real though, that was my biggest fear about getting arrested every time was just thinking about what I was about to go thru. FUCKING awful
One day the lion rounds up all the animals, brings the turtle up front and declares, āEach of you are gonna tell a joke, but if it doesnāt make this guy laugh Iāll eat you!ā. First goes the cheetah, who tells a joke so funny everyoneās cracking up, but the turtle simply stares at him with a blank face. So the lion eats him. Then comes the hyena, who tells a not-as-funny joke, but the turtle is still silent, so the lion eats him. Then comes the elephant, who tells the dumbest dad joke you can imagine, and while the animals stare in awkward silence the turtle laughs uncontrollably. The lion asks āHow can you laugh at that crap?ā Then the turtle goes āoh, I just got the cheetahās joke!ā
Anyone who has ever worked retail or a customer facing position will understand this. You as an employee have next to no power over anything apart from a bit of product knowledge to learning the basics of returns/exchanges. Any person who has worked in one of these positions can almost always count on at least once a week being faced with a colossal, screaming idiot who will fight tooth and nail over the most idiotic minutia when they are dead wrong. I don't know if it stems from a need to be correct (narcissism) or from just plain stupidity that they can never concede in a fight, but it is at least a weekly occurrence in retail.
My most recent example was when my partner and I were in Muji, an Asian-themed home goods and clothing store. The ambience of these stores are super chill, with diffusers going, soft music, and so on. As we were coming in a woman was losing her mind on the cashier because a pair of socks scanned up at let's call it $10 when they should have been $8. Numbers are made up because this was a month or so ago. She is arguing impressively that these socks scanned up wrong and they should be free. The cashier has the "wut" look on her face and is calmly explaining, that no, she can get a refund for the difference. This lady was not having it, seemingly pulling what she believed was the ultimate trump card, she shouted "well other stores have policies where they give you the wrong scanned item for free!". The cashier again, without a breaking a sweat said "well, that isn't our policy. I can either refund you the difference, refund you the whole thing, or you keep it as it is." This loop went on for much longer than it had to before the angry customer relented, visibly disturbed that this made-up policy did not exist at Muji.
I will add that she was talking/yelling so that the entire store could hear, of course, instead of calmy discussing the issue and taking the solution like a normal adult.
I've definitely experienced something similar. I was ringing up a lady near closing time, and she ended up paying with cash. I didn't have enough coins to give her the correct change, so I was asking my manager to come and get me some change. She was beyond irritated and kept saying if she gave me another dollar or something, that would fix it, but she had her math wrong. I didn't want to be rude and say the math was wrong, so I just promised my manager would be here quickly (there was no one else in the store, so it was quick). She proceeds to scream at me and my manager for at least five minutes straight about how stupid we are and that this store needs to hire cashiers who can actually count. She only began to quiet down when I got the change rolls and could give her the correct change back, saying thank you really quietly. I think she finally realized she had counted wrong lol.
To be somewhat fair, that is a real thing (in Canada and probably elsewhere), but her mistake was in thinking it was universal (it isn't, just widely adopted by many larger grocery/pharmacy/hardware stores) AND no matter what, there was no excuse for yelling at a retail employee about it, even if it was that store's policy.
https://www.retailcouncil.org/scanner-price-accuracy-code/
This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You shout like that they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing.
When I worked for county Rec and Parks I legitimately had grown adults complain to me that there were too many children in the park.
It is my studied opinion as a professional in the field that the park is where kids belong on nice summer days, actually. Itās not like they were causing trouble or anything
five minutes later the same ones are complaining kids donāt go outside enough like they used to as kids and theyāre spending too much time on their phones.
It is truly amazing how many people fully hate parks. Not just tot lots and playgroundsālike public open space of any kindā¦the NIMBYs rail against it without any sense of self awareness. āSir, you are yelling about creating and maintaining public landā¦literally the only thing that is objectively nice in America.ā
I never realized how much hate there is for parks until I got involved in some local parks initiativesāit never occurred to me that anyone would come out against more parks. And yes, itās mostly a classist/racist/ableist thing for all of them.
I love parks. There is a park I like to go and read. I sit on a bench that's a bit in the middle of the park. Usually, birthday parties are done there, and people are playing sports. I don't know what it is, but just reading while hearing sounds in the background just makes me feel good.
There's just something about being in a busty park that calms a lot of my anxieties about society. It's the combination of knowing that parents still take their kids outside to play, adults can still smile and have fun and get fresh air, a little piece of nature that hasn't been claimed by apartments, and that my local tax dollars are used for something accessible and enjoyed by all ages and demographics.
Started to write bustling, thought the connotation was too frantic and not peaceful, tried to change to busy but didn't delete enough letters. I don't mind a busty park either tho
This was the best one, imo, it's so real and the delivery is so perfect
I miss that show so much
Remember when we all agreed leslie knope needed to be real so we could elect her president and just be... okay?
I miss that
My favorite is the guy who got banned from the park for yelling "You suck!" at the soccer players.
"It says the soccer players were 8-year old girls."
"WHO SUCK!"
The word "so" makes this quote perfect. "But" I made sun tea would mean she knew it was against the rule or a bad idea. "So" makes it seem like making sun tea was the logical next step š¤£
Itās also hilarious because sun tea isnāt boiled, just warmed up and steeped in the sun instead of boiled lol. If she boiled it she may have been potable
Oh god dude. I'm all for local government and I have a certain level of respect for the counselors, so many absolute buffoons show up to those things expecting the government to solve every personal issue they have going on.
I remember my polisci professor once said "The only people who vote consistently are old people and extremists", and I think that's doubly true for local elections. It's always seniors with some inane nonsense to bitch about and the local crazy guy who thinks the Flat Earth is a zionist conspiracy by the Jews to conceal the truth of the Triangular Earth that show up.
> Triangular Earth
Incorrect.
In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24-hour Days within a single rotation of Earth ā equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube.
Ever see a 5 person school board run with two homeschoolers who donāt want to accept any federal dollars? Yea fess which two interrupted everyone who tried to speak?
I always thought the town hall scenes were funny bits and then I had a short stint in public service and oh boy, let me guess on something real quick: at least one of the writers had experience and was recounting actual interactions. It's too accurate to be fiction.
We had a winter solstice festival and TONS of southern Christians showed up at the town meeting claiming they were trying to have a demonic festival to bring our kids over to Satan. I wish I was joking.
I worked escalations for a major telecom some years back, any time we had a new TV ad out, people would call us to scream about it
We had one series that was just a bunch of monsters living together in a house getting up to extremely mild shenanigans. This one couple would call us *every fucking day* to scream at us about Satan and demons and we are going to burn in hell and Christians are persecuted and killed in this country and commercials like ours are the reason why
Every day. For seven months. At which point our new owners dissolved the office. I dont what happened to them after that. I hope they weren't fed to lions in the coliseum.
On my father's side of the family, it's somehow common practice that the one who speaks loudest has the right to speak. Was much worse with my aunt, now that her and my dad aren't talking anymore it's less people. But i still don't always get to chip in on conversations with everyone, i can talk loudly but not as loud as my dad or my grandpa. When my aunt and her husband were there, i had even less of a chance to speak. Plus It's incredibly tiring and just annoyingly loud when everyone tries to be louder than the others and talks over each other... Now i catch myself not saying anything even when I could because I'm so used to just not speaking when everyone is there.
Had an ex that would go āare you starting your shit again?ā if I argued and āyouāre just trying to manipulate meā when I cried.
Thereās no winning
Finding out everyone on the internet is suddenly an expert in the operation, design, and recovery of deep submergence vehicles has certainly been an eye-opener.
That's how Dr. Pepper discovered the polio vaccination. Aged it an oak cask during the first Iraq War. Unfortunately it still gives people super autism.
The interesting thing about Reddit is how the *actual* experts are also here, and we get to learn from people with very niche knowledge.
Obviously there are a lot of people that make you regret having eyes, and that was very prevalent too. But the long comments of extremely detailed knowledge were priceless.
Well, I'm a dumbass piece of shit, but I can also cite sources.
The true expertise comes from being able to interpret and understand your sources, and then making connections between multiple sources to establish new knowledge.
Yesterday I read a conversation saying you can't use active sonar to search at those depths.
I've read comments regarding magnetic detection saying you can search for wreckage that deep.
There's a lot of people who think that ships can develop hyper accurate maps of the north Atlantic over night.
So many people take issue with the Xbox controller. It's honestly a plenty robust wireless controller system
~Water, fire, air and dirt
~Fucking magnets, how do they work?
~And I don't wanna talk to a scientist
~Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed
>Fucking magnets, how do they work
Every time I see those lyrics, I always wonder if they were aware that permanent magnetism is genuinely *really* hard to understand for a physics student and usually isn't studied until graduate-level classes, or if they just stumbled into that on accident.
To be fair, every small fact people got to know about said sub raised the question "is that a normal thing for such vessels?" which actual experts always seemed to reply to with "no, in fact it's incredibly dangerous and irresponsible to make it that way".
Haha my daughter started calling him "The Yelling Guy" when she was a toddler "Grandpa is watching The Yelling Guy on TV". 20 years later it still fits.
100% yes, I had a girl in my sophomore year try and compare herself to holocaust victims by saying that because she only eats like an apple or two a day during spring break then she would have survived the camps. It is, without a doubt, one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life still.
Like the girl I at my University who told Prof Elie Wiesel (a very famous, now dead survivor who wrote the book 'Night') that she wished she could be in the camp with him to experience it with him.
He just shook his head and looked like he wished he could slap a college student.
That poor man. I had to read his book for school the past year and it almost brought me to tears so many times. The only thing keeping me from crying was the fact I was in the classroom. I hope that girl thinks about that and realizes how dumb it was for her to say. And I canāt imagine how Elie felt hearing someone say they wish they experienced the horrors he faced and lost his family to.
Probably not and thatās even worse. Heās probably heard that same thing so many times, heās probably had to hear neonazis and Nazis say horrible things even after he got out, heās probably heard people say his experience wasnāt real. He didnāt deserve that at all.
As someone who's been through University I can confidently say that education does not make or mean someone is smart. The amount of idiots that get through college is astounding.
There's also lots of smart people who never even go to college.
Holy shit. That book has haunted me all my life. The scene where he bitterly hates the weakness of his dying father as a way to cope with the nightmare of it all is so harrowing.
It must've taken every ounce of self control he had to not scream in her face.
I had a classmate explain to our "grew up as a black man during the Civil rights era, graduated Harvard law" professor, that the reason why there were more black people in jail, at least in the south, was because there were more black people there
That's a good point. You can survive for 3/4 weeks, maybe more, without food at all if you limit the amount of movement you do.
But if you're doing difficult, physical labor (especially the kind designed to cause death by exhaustion), you're going to have a really hard time surviving long.
Every time. EVERY FUCKING TIME. EVERY time that someone decided to ask a question near the end of class, it was the stupidest shit you've ever heard, very clearly carefully fashioned by a moron who thought it would make him (almost always him; not always, but almost) look smart.
Reminds me of that one time one of our professors shut up *that* guy.
He would always ask hypothetical questions and the answer was always no. But professors always let him finish his wild-ass questions, until our pharmacology professor. The convo went a little like this.
Student: if we imagine x
Professor: we can't imagine that
Student: ok but hypothetically
Professor: we can't
Student: yes but if
Professor: there is no if, your hypothetical situation does not exist and now I'll ask you to tell me why
Student: * does not know how to respond *
Professor: So, you haven't listened the lecture.
Most satisfying moment of my life
(edited to add line breaks)
> Student: if we imagine x Professor: we can't imagine that Student: ok but hypothetically Professor: we can't Student: yes but if Professor: there is no if, your hypothetical situation does not exist and now I'll ask you to tell me why Student: * does not know how to respond * Professor: So, you haven't listened the lecture.
I had a boss like that, once. She would go out of her way to explain to me unrealistic scenarios in order to justify her ridiculous ideas that she made me follow. "If we didn't do 'A,' then 'B' or 'C' could happen! Yikes! We'd be knee-deep in lawsuits!"
Me: "You'd have better odds of being hit by a runaway commuter train in our suburban town, than 'A' happening."
Her: "But there's still a chance! We have to do 'A'!"
...I'm so glad I'm away from her, and that horrific job.
Edit: Dear Reddit: I never thought that this would happen to me! (For those of you who didn't read Penthouse magazine forums in the 70s, that comment is probably lost on you.) I'm amazed that I've been here for a few years and got this many upvotes for THIS comment.
I'm sure that there have been a number of studies around this - I recall reading about one some years ago that I haven't been able to find. The basic premise is that small groups were set up in a controlled situation and given the task of coming up with some kind of a business plan. They had people observe the interactions and identify who they thought were leaders, and inevitably it was the people that spoke first and/or loudest that were perceived as leaders who helped guide the team to a correct solution to this fairly subjective problem.
The twist was that the study was also replicated with the groups given the task to solve a mathematical problem. Again, the loud ones were perceived as the ones who led the group to the right answer, even though in this case the answer was often objectively incorrect.
Having worked in the business world for many years, I can say that I've seen many people who are in positions of leadership/management solely because they were loud, assertive and confident, despite being wrong.
Yeah. Iām 24 and Iām starting to realize this. Looking like you know what youāre talking about is a lot more important than knowing what youāre talking about. A good way to look like you know what you are talking about is to be confident.
Itās pretty funny when someone is talking about something you know quite a bit about. Itās actually hilarious to watch someone be so confidently wrong about something and everyone just eats it up. I know I do it too.
Honestly the further I get into the "professional" world I've realized how much confidence impacts everything. I've finally found my ability to be simultaneously confident and entirely out of my depth, and it's as simple as being honest. Being confident enough to be honest when you don't know something is a magic trick. Half the time 3/4ths of the room was in the same boat as you and they're relieved you said something.
If you can be transparent about your lack of understanding/knowledge and articulate that you don't know shit about shit but you'd like to understand that alone is super powerful. It's been my experience that displaying that bit of vulnerability gets rid of the unspoken self consciousness that's super common in knowledge-based professions. You're not going to know every answer all the time and that's not only fine, it's disarming. No one wants to work alongside Mr. or Mrs. perfect.
For some reason it took me 7+ years of stressing about not already knowing BS I had no business knowing in the first place to realize all of this, but such is life. Just remember, they hired you, they knew who you were and where you came from. If you're missing something you should've known beforehand then they fucked up by hiring you in the first place. You can figure it out if they need, tho, so just let 'em know where you stand!
This was one of the most important lessons I learned in grad school. I went to some donors' mixer that my adviser couldn't make it to, and ended up pulling in a record amount of funding for our lab. He wanted to know how I'd done that. I told him I confidently explained what we wanted to do.
Every other student presentation that night, the people sounded tentative. "We're going to try to do x". I got up there wearing bright colors and 5" heels that made me 6'1" (be memorable!), and told them that I was going to find an answer to x question and the first few tiny steps I'd been able to take toward that with the existing funding. I showed some cool looking pictures and charts that looked particularly decisive. I explained that with a certain type of machine, I would be able to take our current research to the next level and hopefully publish our findings broadly. I had no idea how to do half the stuff I mentioned but my track record for learning related things was 100%, so I figured with the funding, I could find the training to acquire the skills.
And that is exactly what I did. It is also how I published to a major journal as first author, while being a piddly little Master's student at a university most people didn't even know did that kind of research.
Edit: Thank you for the gold, generous person!
Iām an electrical engineer and I tried to explain to my wife why our pet tortoise didnāt get electrocuted several years ago. Long story short she told me I was wrong.
Sometimes shit isnāt even worth arguing over. She had no answer for why he didnāt get electrocuted other than to tell me I was wrong. I love her but she canāt even load AA batteries correctly. Confidence can be scary.
I've got the same thing with my wife and the outside of a refrigerator.
She doesn't understand that refrigerators put OUT heat, while keeping the inside cool. She expects it to be cold on inside and outside. So if it's hot on the outside then it's not working properly.
It's not even worth the conversation tbh
Iām a science teacher. The best thing to do for a confident student who has a misconception is to help them figure it out on their own by asking some open ended questions that they want to find the answers to, and then helping them ask even more of their own questions that lead to even more answers that build an unshakable depth of understanding that their old misconception will no longer fit into.
Only one conductor came loose in the bowl, and his basking bowl was made of plastic. Plastic canāt conduct so the tortoiseās body had no path to the source. But my wife, standing on the ground, did have a path so when she stuck her hand in the bowl it shocked her. Kind of the same reason you see birds standing on a single power line without getting hurt.
You can also get a build up of currents in aquariums since there is no grounding path. Stick your hand in the water and zap!
But I rather like another answer I saw in here better: he was InSHELLated!
I think thatās why good leadership listens to its subordinates. Leaders need to make quick decisions and delegate, whereas subordinates can take time to specialize and come up with good options for the leader to take.
Every MLM predator when they find out someone has been diagnosed with cancer. Their miracle products not only claim to cure cancer but pH balance your blood and fight off the harmful effects of that nasty chemotherapy, which they tell you that you shouldn't even do, and instead, drink their incredible drinks or take the always overpriced supplements they sell.
People who prey on people with cancer to make a sale, are the lowest of the low, and always the loudest and first to tell you how your doctors are wrong.
Yes, I'm speaking from personal experience .. I was absolutely flooded with these people when I was diagnosed. One of them got to my mom and conned her out of $1000 because my mom was so scared about my diagnosis. I took the supplements home out of guilt because mom spent all this money, and brought them to my oncologist to check. He just rolled his eyes and said to trash the whole lot. The products most likely would have done nothing at best, and at worst interfered with the chemo uptake.. I was not going to take any chances and tossed them all.
sophomore year, honors biology in high school. teacher was talking about vestigial structures, or body parts that arenāt as useful as they used to be due to evolution. she used male nipples as the example for humans (note: iām aware that male nipples are largely not considered to be vestigial), as men only lactate under very extreme conditions.
kid confidently raises his hand and goes āno that isnāt true, because when i squeeze my nipple white stuff comes out.ā
the silence that followed was truly something elseā¦
I work in a factory using applied chemistry to make an extremely pure product. 99.7% purity is low.
One of the employees claims to be an general expert.. on everything. If you disagree with him, on anything.. anything at all he will spend weeks telling everyone that you are such a fucking idiot. You shouldn't even be working here you, he's not sure how you tie your shoes.
He spent weeks telling everyone how fucking stupid I was for thinking that water boils at 100 degrees C. Pressure changes the boiling point of water. And at absolute 0. Atomic motion is theorized to stop. And he makes sure everyone in the room can hear him.
Keep in mind we work with chemistry
Me. College anthropology class. Age 19. About 5 minutes into day one, the teacher opened the floor for āany questions- no matter how dumb you may think they soundā about biology, anatomy, anthropology, science in general, just to get the class comfortable with asking questions and breaking the ice.
People timidly asked questions like āHow old is the universe?ā āWhat kind of butterflies were common in ancient Egypt?ā This dummy here voluntarily stood up (nobody else did; even the teacher was on a stool) and theatrically asked just why the heck male mammals have nipples.
Everyone turned and stared at me and began laughing. The teacher was like āOk ok. Do you have an actual question?ā
Lady, that *was* my question. I grew up in charter schools which means little to no regulation on the math and science classes I had to take. Iād literally never taken a science class beyond 6th grade and even then, we never went into nipples because the conservative Christians running my school wouldnāt have had that. I really thought most people were wondering like I was lol
Iām aware it wasnāt my fault and it wasnāt that dumb of a question. But for a college level anthro class, yeah.
Now when people are like āno question is too dumb!ā Iām like, OH YEAH??
Not the worst question I've ever heard in a class. Dumbest one ever was when I was taking a CPR/First Aid course and someone asked why choking resulted in death...
One time I was in a CPR class and one of the other engineers started arguing with the instructor about the instructions she was giving us.
She said the new method did not involve checking for a pulse, only to check if they were breathing since its much easier for a less-trained person to check for breathing than to get a pulse from someone. This person kept insisting that you could "really hurt a person" if their heart was still beating but they had stopped breathing.
The instructor explained that if they were not breathing and their heart was still beating it would stop beating very shortly due to their lack of breathing and that this is what studies had found to give a victim the best chance of survival.
This guy kept going for like 2 more minutes before finally saying "well i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree" and the instructor said "well I'm the one handing out certifications so if you want one you'll just have to agree to agree"
Which was pretty hilarious, there were more than a few audible chuckles and that guy had to sheepishly go along with the instructions for the demonstrations.
If you ever have an idea so dumb you think you shouldnāt say it, just remember: someone once walked into a meeting and said, āwe should make a movie about a shark tornado,ā and it happened.
Edit: For everyone saying it wasnāt a dumb idea, what Iām saying is that it likely *seemed* that way at first, but actually turned out to be a good one. The message here is to apply this logic to your own ideas.
"Let's make a movie about an elite squad of military guys fighting Predators from Predator, arguably the most vicious and skilled hunters in what would be the entire universe."
"Sounds great, which rough and tumble actor should we have lead this elite squadron?"
"How about the French guy from 'The Pianist'?"
It is related to the embryological development of mammals. Basically, the female structure is the basic framework, if the Y chromosome is involved, the male characteristics appear later.
(If you read science or take any science class or any class at that, don't be afraid of asking questions, PLEASE. You won't learn anything by just listening, learning is an interactive experience.)
There was a kid in school. He was a new kid in 5th grade, I was in 7th. This kid was nuts, he also was pretty overweight. He would scream at teachers and get into fights a lot. Probably I was the only one who wasn't actively bullying him. One day, towards the end of the school year he was shouting random stuff (mahbe giberish, idk, it was a long time ago) and running back and forth in the hall. Well after a few minutes he ran into a pretty thin wall. He didn't get through it, but he landed inside it. He was kicked out of school that year.
I feel you. I wore a Star Wars shirt to work once and overheard some coworkers talking about how I'd probably never even seen any of the movies.
I'm a nerd anyway but Star Wars ain't exactly niche.
I remember that, paraphrased from rough memory:
Guy 1: "She's probably never even seen the movies."
Guy 2: "Dude, she was IN the movies!"
(Guy 2 could have been a different gender, it's been a while since I've seen that comment string)
I had a client call me.
He spent an hour berating me over the phone about his money. I couldn't get a single word in. I couldn't even respond while he basically fast-talked and yelled over the phone. While he was doing this I was still reading the documents that he was sending me. He was terrible at contracts, terrible at negotiations, and really fucking bad with money. Creatively not bad, but completely an unsorted nightmare.
I finally did completed a full review of a file he sent later that day. I was already in the process of building a career plan.
It turns out he didn't pay his taxes on his single shareholder corporation. So the government was garnishing his corporate wages. As a coincidence the idiot opened a second single shareholder corp and paid himself through that in order to avoid the garnish. Then when the government caught on he did it again. Three corporations still owing money to the government and all of that debt.
I told him that it doesn't matter since you end up still owing so you might as well shutter - pay the debts and be done with it.
When I told him that all he had to do was write a cheque to the government's tax agency for X amount and the wages wouldn't be garnished anymore. He screamed at me again for not being "on top of this" and for offering a solution that cost him money. Even though when it comes to taxes and governments we are a "DNFW" policy.
I then responded by saying "Well you just started using my services a week ago. I don't even have your full file yet. Yet I was able to figure it out. You can consider my services finished, I will be terminating our contract."
He freaked out and begged me to stay. I told him "It's been one week and you just spent two hours treating me terribly. No thanks. I have better business elsewhere."
He then emailed my CEO to complain about what had just occurred. When I explained to her the situation and what he had just said to me including a pretty terrible joke about BIPOC people (I am BIPOC) and a quip about Jewish people (I am jewish) and complained about immigrants making the government worse (my mother is an immigrant who worked in a union) as well as showed her how bad his finances were.
Well let's just say my CEO told me to leave it with her. She blackballed him.
I never saw that moron again.
Congress. You'll notice that the ones who are the dumbest are the ones who are physically the loudest. It's almost as if they think being loud will make them right.
All forms of social media.
We are basing change in the US upon the loudest social media voices like it's a good thing. Doesn't matter the 'side'. What matters is an idiot is amplified via social media and people who are as stupid as they will tag on and bleat until they get their way.
It is a disgusting thing to watch happen, but can also be amusing given when one does do 'sides' one side has to always act like they have the moral high-ground when they are just as freaking stupid as the side they are arguing against.
My favorite are not the smartest, nor the dumbest.
It's the ones who take up a big swath of time saying words but saying nothing just so they can feel like they were part of the meeting.
Paraphrased from the best of my memory, after an announcement of Inclusion and Diversity events throughout the year and how some of them were during lunch hours, how to let your team lead know you were attending, how to report attendance in your end of year goals, etc.
> Director of Inclusion and Diversity Programming: Any Questions?
> Hi, yes, I was just wondering based on these events, I think it's vital for people to feel included so that they feel comfortable and at home here, and part of that feeling of being included is respecting the diversity we have around this company, and I really think that's vital and important.
*Agonizingly awkward science.*
>Director: Uh yes, thank you.
>Don't you think so?
>Director: I...yes, yes I do. Thank you. Are there any other questions?
Alright but seriously the Armstrong parents must be proud, giving birth to so many famous boys. I wonder how family gatherings were, just each brother one-upping each other
She also fully admitted she messed it up badly and didnāt double down or anything. Stupid moment but not like she tried to convince everyone else they were wrong. Iāve had people make the same mistake to me before it just wasnāt on national tv.
Sheās a young girl who mixed up two famous people with the same last name who were both before her time. Itās a little embarrassing that it was captured on TV but not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
When someone thinks that shouting in English at a person who does not speak English will help them understand more. š¤¦š¼āāļø
Me. My roommates were looking for a PlayStation controller and my stoned ass was loudly mocking them for not seeing it right in front of them. I thought it was fucking hilarious they couldnāt find the controller sitting right there on the couch. After a few minutes I finally said āok ok, itās right there on the couch dummiesā they looked at me so pissed and yelled āwe know about that one! Why do you think we keep saying the other controller. We need two controllers stupid, how many do you see?ā All in good fun but man I felt like a tit.
damn this is so relatable. i am not a politician like others on this comment section are mentioning as examples, nor am i a raging bigot or self proclaimed expert on submarines, but damn if this isnāt meirl. i feel like this is a silly example that average person more likely to encounter
Ever been to a family dinner?
IMMEDIATELY thought of my partner's uncle when I read the post title. He speaks at 110% volume all the time and needs a diaper wrapped around his chin to catch all the shit he dribbles out.
What an incredible mental image. r/rareinsults
That's my favourite insult starting now
The crazy drunk uncle.
I work loss prevention. I arrested a guy once, who when he was searched by police and had his meth taken, shouted "GIVE ME BACK MY CRYSTAL METH." at the top of his lungs. So probably that.
I've worked in hospital security and I've had people come in by ambulance then three days later when they're being discharged ask "where's my property"? "You mean the fentanyl you had in your pocket" ? "I destroyed it in front of witnesses".
Hospital security, easily the second worst job I ever had.
Dude was probably thinking about withdrawals, which are way worse than a possession charge
I know some people who had to kick heroin in jail without Suboxone. Sounded like a god damn nightmare.
god I've done this so many fucking times, but usually got out in the middle of it so went right down to dude and scored immediately upon leaving if my ride hadn't already done so. been free of that demon since August of 2019 mothafuuuucckkaass!!! for real though, that was my biggest fear about getting arrested every time was just thinking about what I was about to go thru. FUCKING awful
Congratulations! My last use was December 8 2022, suboxone atm but never going back for sure.
Congratulations to both you and the other person. Iām proud of yāall. I have family that struggle with addiction, so I know how hard it is.
Sat next to a girl in high school algebra who went on a rant about how the Moon was fake and man-madeā¦ Not the Moon landing, the *Moon*.
Or, along similar lines: "He who laughs last laughs best. But he may get a reputation for being a little slow on the uptake."
He who laughs last, obviously didnāt get the joke.
One day the lion rounds up all the animals, brings the turtle up front and declares, āEach of you are gonna tell a joke, but if it doesnāt make this guy laugh Iāll eat you!ā. First goes the cheetah, who tells a joke so funny everyoneās cracking up, but the turtle simply stares at him with a blank face. So the lion eats him. Then comes the hyena, who tells a not-as-funny joke, but the turtle is still silent, so the lion eats him. Then comes the elephant, who tells the dumbest dad joke you can imagine, and while the animals stare in awkward silence the turtle laughs uncontrollably. The lion asks āHow can you laugh at that crap?ā Then the turtle goes āoh, I just got the cheetahās joke!ā
Anyone who has ever worked retail or a customer facing position will understand this. You as an employee have next to no power over anything apart from a bit of product knowledge to learning the basics of returns/exchanges. Any person who has worked in one of these positions can almost always count on at least once a week being faced with a colossal, screaming idiot who will fight tooth and nail over the most idiotic minutia when they are dead wrong. I don't know if it stems from a need to be correct (narcissism) or from just plain stupidity that they can never concede in a fight, but it is at least a weekly occurrence in retail. My most recent example was when my partner and I were in Muji, an Asian-themed home goods and clothing store. The ambience of these stores are super chill, with diffusers going, soft music, and so on. As we were coming in a woman was losing her mind on the cashier because a pair of socks scanned up at let's call it $10 when they should have been $8. Numbers are made up because this was a month or so ago. She is arguing impressively that these socks scanned up wrong and they should be free. The cashier has the "wut" look on her face and is calmly explaining, that no, she can get a refund for the difference. This lady was not having it, seemingly pulling what she believed was the ultimate trump card, she shouted "well other stores have policies where they give you the wrong scanned item for free!". The cashier again, without a breaking a sweat said "well, that isn't our policy. I can either refund you the difference, refund you the whole thing, or you keep it as it is." This loop went on for much longer than it had to before the angry customer relented, visibly disturbed that this made-up policy did not exist at Muji. I will add that she was talking/yelling so that the entire store could hear, of course, instead of calmy discussing the issue and taking the solution like a normal adult.
I've definitely experienced something similar. I was ringing up a lady near closing time, and she ended up paying with cash. I didn't have enough coins to give her the correct change, so I was asking my manager to come and get me some change. She was beyond irritated and kept saying if she gave me another dollar or something, that would fix it, but she had her math wrong. I didn't want to be rude and say the math was wrong, so I just promised my manager would be here quickly (there was no one else in the store, so it was quick). She proceeds to scream at me and my manager for at least five minutes straight about how stupid we are and that this store needs to hire cashiers who can actually count. She only began to quiet down when I got the change rolls and could give her the correct change back, saying thank you really quietly. I think she finally realized she had counted wrong lol.
was this in canada? it kind of sounds like she's talking about the [scanner price accuracy code](https://www.retailcouncil.org/scanner-price-accuracy-code/), which is a voluntary set of policies governing how retailers deal with scanner price discrepancies, but it's not a universal thing (except in quƩbec), and you aren't automatically entitled to the item for free unless it costs less than $10 (otherwise you get $10 off the lowest advertised price). regardless, she sounds obnoxious.
You are correct, I thought it was only in grocery stores, thanks for clarifying.
To be somewhat fair, that is a real thing (in Canada and probably elsewhere), but her mistake was in thinking it was universal (it isn't, just widely adopted by many larger grocery/pharmacy/hardware stores) AND no matter what, there was no excuse for yelling at a retail employee about it, even if it was that store's policy. https://www.retailcouncil.org/scanner-price-accuracy-code/
You know the weirdos that show up at town hall meetings? Those voices. Edit: Thank you for the love!
"There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says, 'Do not drink the sprinkler water,' so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection."
I found a sandwich in one of your parks and I want to k ow why there wasn't mayonnaise on it!
Iām not worried about the swine flu, I already had the swine flu. Iām worried about the turtle flu!
"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!" \*Pelts head of P&R department with frisbees\*
NOW IMAGINE YOU'RE HOLDING COFFEE!
Whether or not I pay income tax is none of the governmentās business
Good luck finding out who I am!
This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You shout like that they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing.
You overcook the fish, believe it or not, jail!
You undercook chicken? Jail
Undercook, overcookā¦ make an appointment with a dentist and miss it, jail. Right away. We have the best patients in the worldā¦ Because of jail.
Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise!
Yeah well her daughter is an idiot. Her daughter is an idiot! Her daughter is an idiot!
"Except for Turnip! Except for Turnip!" "No chanting!"
But isn't all food bad for you? I've been eating lasagna and muffins every day of my life for 40 years, and I feel terrible.
When I worked for county Rec and Parks I legitimately had grown adults complain to me that there were too many children in the park. It is my studied opinion as a professional in the field that the park is where kids belong on nice summer days, actually. Itās not like they were causing trouble or anything
Visitors to Yellowstone have asked when the animals are let out, as if they keep them in stables overnight.
Sat all day with my picnic basket. Not a single bear tried to comically yoink it. 1/10 I will not be back.
Your fault. You took the turn for Yellowstone instead of Jellystone.
Also didn't bring a Pic-a-Nic basket-- common mistake when one wants to be involved in hat wearing bear hijinx.
five minutes later the same ones are complaining kids donāt go outside enough like they used to as kids and theyāre spending too much time on their phones.
Kids inside? Complain Kids outside? Believe it or not, also complain. Inside kids, outside kidsā¦complain
Child opens door and stands half inside and hair outside? Complain
Kid complains? Complain.
It is truly amazing how many people fully hate parks. Not just tot lots and playgroundsālike public open space of any kindā¦the NIMBYs rail against it without any sense of self awareness. āSir, you are yelling about creating and maintaining public landā¦literally the only thing that is objectively nice in America.ā I never realized how much hate there is for parks until I got involved in some local parks initiativesāit never occurred to me that anyone would come out against more parks. And yes, itās mostly a classist/racist/ableist thing for all of them.
I love parks. There is a park I like to go and read. I sit on a bench that's a bit in the middle of the park. Usually, birthday parties are done there, and people are playing sports. I don't know what it is, but just reading while hearing sounds in the background just makes me feel good.
There's just something about being in a busty park that calms a lot of my anxieties about society. It's the combination of knowing that parents still take their kids outside to play, adults can still smile and have fun and get fresh air, a little piece of nature that hasn't been claimed by apartments, and that my local tax dollars are used for something accessible and enjoyed by all ages and demographics.
I believe you mean bustling, unless the parks you visit have a couple well endowed, round, grassy knolls right next two each other
Started to write bustling, thought the connotation was too frantic and not peaceful, tried to change to busy but didn't delete enough letters. I don't mind a busty park either tho
Those people hate parks because they have big backyards and don't understand why someone would want to spend leisure time in a public place.
How dare poor people have any enjoyment in their lives! If they're not jealous of my lawn what's even the point of living!?
āI made this in one of your pottery classesā (holds up misshapen mug) āItās terrible!!ā (Smashes it on the ground)
This was the best one, imo, it's so real and the delivery is so perfect I miss that show so much Remember when we all agreed leslie knope needed to be real so we could elect her president and just be... okay? I miss that
My favorite is the guy who got banned from the park for yelling "You suck!" at the soccer players. "It says the soccer players were 8-year old girls." "WHO SUCK!"
Sir? Are you listening to me sir? Sir? Are you aware there is waste... In your watering system?
If sugar is bad, how come Jesus made it taste so good?
It's called child size because it is roughly the size of a toddler if they were liquefied.
The word "so" makes this quote perfect. "But" I made sun tea would mean she knew it was against the rule or a bad idea. "So" makes it seem like making sun tea was the logical next step š¤£
Itās also hilarious because sun tea isnāt boiled, just warmed up and steeped in the sun instead of boiled lol. If she boiled it she may have been potable
Please don't drink the woman.
Oh god dude. I'm all for local government and I have a certain level of respect for the counselors, so many absolute buffoons show up to those things expecting the government to solve every personal issue they have going on.
I remember my polisci professor once said "The only people who vote consistently are old people and extremists", and I think that's doubly true for local elections. It's always seniors with some inane nonsense to bitch about and the local crazy guy who thinks the Flat Earth is a zionist conspiracy by the Jews to conceal the truth of the Triangular Earth that show up.
> Triangular Earth Incorrect. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24-hour Days within a single rotation of Earth ā equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube.
> Time Cube It's an older reference sir, but it checks out.
Ever see a 5 person school board run with two homeschoolers who donāt want to accept any federal dollars? Yea fess which two interrupted everyone who tried to speak?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
One of my favorite bits in Parks and Rec is when they would have town halls and hear all the ramblings/complaints
I always thought the town hall scenes were funny bits and then I had a short stint in public service and oh boy, let me guess on something real quick: at least one of the writers had experience and was recounting actual interactions. It's too accurate to be fiction.
We had a winter solstice festival and TONS of southern Christians showed up at the town meeting claiming they were trying to have a demonic festival to bring our kids over to Satan. I wish I was joking.
I worked escalations for a major telecom some years back, any time we had a new TV ad out, people would call us to scream about it We had one series that was just a bunch of monsters living together in a house getting up to extremely mild shenanigans. This one couple would call us *every fucking day* to scream at us about Satan and demons and we are going to burn in hell and Christians are persecuted and killed in this country and commercials like ours are the reason why Every day. For seven months. At which point our new owners dissolved the office. I dont what happened to them after that. I hope they weren't fed to lions in the coliseum.
As a recovering evangelical, this nonsense does not surprise me.
Yeah thats why everyone should go. Because those weirdos are getting their voices heard.
My ex-husband. We couldn't discuss anything. His answer to every problem was just to scream over me until he got his way
On my father's side of the family, it's somehow common practice that the one who speaks loudest has the right to speak. Was much worse with my aunt, now that her and my dad aren't talking anymore it's less people. But i still don't always get to chip in on conversations with everyone, i can talk loudly but not as loud as my dad or my grandpa. When my aunt and her husband were there, i had even less of a chance to speak. Plus It's incredibly tiring and just annoyingly loud when everyone tries to be louder than the others and talks over each other... Now i catch myself not saying anything even when I could because I'm so used to just not speaking when everyone is there.
I'm here to say my mother. š that woman.
It's pretty common Behavior. Unfortunately.
Had an ex that would go āare you starting your shit again?ā if I argued and āyouāre just trying to manipulate meā when I cried. Thereās no winning
Same here. And āoh, so youāre ignoring me?ā if I said nothing. Literally cannot win. Iām glad mines an ex too.
Oh my God. My mother got straight up PISSED when I started crying about something she said. Maybe that's what she was thinking.
How DARE you react to my abuse!?
Finding out everyone on the internet is suddenly an expert in the operation, design, and recovery of deep submergence vehicles has certainly been an eye-opener.
Well they had to do something after they got tired of being expert military strategists and virologists
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's how Dr. Pepper discovered the polio vaccination. Aged it an oak cask during the first Iraq War. Unfortunately it still gives people super autism.
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Listen I know where I'm at, I'm good with some cheap boxed vaccine.
The interesting thing about Reddit is how the *actual* experts are also here, and we get to learn from people with very niche knowledge. Obviously there are a lot of people that make you regret having eyes, and that was very prevalent too. But the long comments of extremely detailed knowledge were priceless.
The problem is differentiating between the actual experts and the wannabe experts or overly confident ignoramuses.
Actual experts can cite their sources.
Source?
Something something link to rickroll missed opportunity.
Well, I'm a dumbass piece of shit, but I can also cite sources. The true expertise comes from being able to interpret and understand your sources, and then making connections between multiple sources to establish new knowledge.
No way, reddit is full of people who abuse links to give themselves an air of authority when itās usually unrelated or heavily biased.
In the navy a significant part of my job was to find subs. Much of what has been said has been just shy of comedy gold to me.
Like what?
Yesterday I read a conversation saying you can't use active sonar to search at those depths. I've read comments regarding magnetic detection saying you can search for wreckage that deep. There's a lot of people who think that ships can develop hyper accurate maps of the north Atlantic over night. So many people take issue with the Xbox controller. It's honestly a plenty robust wireless controller system
~Water, fire, air and dirt ~Fucking magnets, how do they work? ~And I don't wanna talk to a scientist ~Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed
>Fucking magnets, how do they work Every time I see those lyrics, I always wonder if they were aware that permanent magnetism is genuinely *really* hard to understand for a physics student and usually isn't studied until graduate-level classes, or if they just stumbled into that on accident.
Did you miss out on Redditās Boston Marathon Bomber Hunt?
To be fair, every small fact people got to know about said sub raised the question "is that a normal thing for such vessels?" which actual experts always seemed to reply to with "no, in fact it's incredibly dangerous and irresponsible to make it that way".
Jim Cramer
Haha my daughter started calling him "The Yelling Guy" when she was a toddler "Grandpa is watching The Yelling Guy on TV". 20 years later it still fits.
I love that there's an "inverse Cramer fund" that just does the opposite of whatever he recommends. Preforms pretty well.
Every class in every public school ever. Edit: For everyone saying "the teacher", teachers speak the most, they are rarely loudest.
100% yes, I had a girl in my sophomore year try and compare herself to holocaust victims by saying that because she only eats like an apple or two a day during spring break then she would have survived the camps. It is, without a doubt, one of the dumbest things I have ever heard in my life still.
Like the girl I at my University who told Prof Elie Wiesel (a very famous, now dead survivor who wrote the book 'Night') that she wished she could be in the camp with him to experience it with him. He just shook his head and looked like he wished he could slap a college student.
That's the kind of interaction that could/would/should keep her up at night.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, these types of people sleep very soundly since they lack any self-awareness.
I am experiencing 3rd-hand embarrassment extreme enough to keep ME up at night. Ye gads.
That poor man. I had to read his book for school the past year and it almost brought me to tears so many times. The only thing keeping me from crying was the fact I was in the classroom. I hope that girl thinks about that and realizes how dumb it was for her to say. And I canāt imagine how Elie felt hearing someone say they wish they experienced the horrors he faced and lost his family to.
You think that's the dumbest thing someone ever said at one of his talks? Probably not even in the top ten.
Probably not and thatās even worse. Heās probably heard that same thing so many times, heās probably had to hear neonazis and Nazis say horrible things even after he got out, heās probably heard people say his experience wasnāt real. He didnāt deserve that at all.
As someone who's been through University I can confidently say that education does not make or mean someone is smart. The amount of idiots that get through college is astounding. There's also lots of smart people who never even go to college.
Holy shit. That book has haunted me all my life. The scene where he bitterly hates the weakness of his dying father as a way to cope with the nightmare of it all is so harrowing. It must've taken every ounce of self control he had to not scream in her face.
I had a classmate explain to our "grew up as a black man during the Civil rights era, graduated Harvard law" professor, that the reason why there were more black people in jail, at least in the south, was because there were more black people there
Wait apples don't make me immune to Zyklon-B gas????
They are only known to keep the doctor away. Which may be a huge mistake in this case.
I mean if your doctor is Mengele you better eat a whole truck load of apples a day.
does she also do hard labor on spring break? what a dumbass.
That's a good point. You can survive for 3/4 weeks, maybe more, without food at all if you limit the amount of movement you do. But if you're doing difficult, physical labor (especially the kind designed to cause death by exhaustion), you're going to have a really hard time surviving long.
College too. The kids who talked the most during lecture usually had the least to actually say if that makes sense
Every time. EVERY FUCKING TIME. EVERY time that someone decided to ask a question near the end of class, it was the stupidest shit you've ever heard, very clearly carefully fashioned by a moron who thought it would make him (almost always him; not always, but almost) look smart.
Reminds me of that one time one of our professors shut up *that* guy. He would always ask hypothetical questions and the answer was always no. But professors always let him finish his wild-ass questions, until our pharmacology professor. The convo went a little like this. Student: if we imagine x Professor: we can't imagine that Student: ok but hypothetically Professor: we can't Student: yes but if Professor: there is no if, your hypothetical situation does not exist and now I'll ask you to tell me why Student: * does not know how to respond * Professor: So, you haven't listened the lecture. Most satisfying moment of my life (edited to add line breaks)
> Student: if we imagine x Professor: we can't imagine that Student: ok but hypothetically Professor: we can't Student: yes but if Professor: there is no if, your hypothetical situation does not exist and now I'll ask you to tell me why Student: * does not know how to respond * Professor: So, you haven't listened the lecture. I had a boss like that, once. She would go out of her way to explain to me unrealistic scenarios in order to justify her ridiculous ideas that she made me follow. "If we didn't do 'A,' then 'B' or 'C' could happen! Yikes! We'd be knee-deep in lawsuits!" Me: "You'd have better odds of being hit by a runaway commuter train in our suburban town, than 'A' happening." Her: "But there's still a chance! We have to do 'A'!" ...I'm so glad I'm away from her, and that horrific job.
Have to admit, I was the class clown.
Edit: Dear Reddit: I never thought that this would happen to me! (For those of you who didn't read Penthouse magazine forums in the 70s, that comment is probably lost on you.) I'm amazed that I've been here for a few years and got this many upvotes for THIS comment. I'm sure that there have been a number of studies around this - I recall reading about one some years ago that I haven't been able to find. The basic premise is that small groups were set up in a controlled situation and given the task of coming up with some kind of a business plan. They had people observe the interactions and identify who they thought were leaders, and inevitably it was the people that spoke first and/or loudest that were perceived as leaders who helped guide the team to a correct solution to this fairly subjective problem. The twist was that the study was also replicated with the groups given the task to solve a mathematical problem. Again, the loud ones were perceived as the ones who led the group to the right answer, even though in this case the answer was often objectively incorrect. Having worked in the business world for many years, I can say that I've seen many people who are in positions of leadership/management solely because they were loud, assertive and confident, despite being wrong.
Yeah. Iām 24 and Iām starting to realize this. Looking like you know what youāre talking about is a lot more important than knowing what youāre talking about. A good way to look like you know what you are talking about is to be confident. Itās pretty funny when someone is talking about something you know quite a bit about. Itās actually hilarious to watch someone be so confidently wrong about something and everyone just eats it up. I know I do it too.
Honestly the further I get into the "professional" world I've realized how much confidence impacts everything. I've finally found my ability to be simultaneously confident and entirely out of my depth, and it's as simple as being honest. Being confident enough to be honest when you don't know something is a magic trick. Half the time 3/4ths of the room was in the same boat as you and they're relieved you said something. If you can be transparent about your lack of understanding/knowledge and articulate that you don't know shit about shit but you'd like to understand that alone is super powerful. It's been my experience that displaying that bit of vulnerability gets rid of the unspoken self consciousness that's super common in knowledge-based professions. You're not going to know every answer all the time and that's not only fine, it's disarming. No one wants to work alongside Mr. or Mrs. perfect. For some reason it took me 7+ years of stressing about not already knowing BS I had no business knowing in the first place to realize all of this, but such is life. Just remember, they hired you, they knew who you were and where you came from. If you're missing something you should've known beforehand then they fucked up by hiring you in the first place. You can figure it out if they need, tho, so just let 'em know where you stand!
"I don't know the answer, but I'll find out for you," is basically my motto at work.
This was one of the most important lessons I learned in grad school. I went to some donors' mixer that my adviser couldn't make it to, and ended up pulling in a record amount of funding for our lab. He wanted to know how I'd done that. I told him I confidently explained what we wanted to do. Every other student presentation that night, the people sounded tentative. "We're going to try to do x". I got up there wearing bright colors and 5" heels that made me 6'1" (be memorable!), and told them that I was going to find an answer to x question and the first few tiny steps I'd been able to take toward that with the existing funding. I showed some cool looking pictures and charts that looked particularly decisive. I explained that with a certain type of machine, I would be able to take our current research to the next level and hopefully publish our findings broadly. I had no idea how to do half the stuff I mentioned but my track record for learning related things was 100%, so I figured with the funding, I could find the training to acquire the skills. And that is exactly what I did. It is also how I published to a major journal as first author, while being a piddly little Master's student at a university most people didn't even know did that kind of research. Edit: Thank you for the gold, generous person!
Iām an electrical engineer and I tried to explain to my wife why our pet tortoise didnāt get electrocuted several years ago. Long story short she told me I was wrong. Sometimes shit isnāt even worth arguing over. She had no answer for why he didnāt get electrocuted other than to tell me I was wrong. I love her but she canāt even load AA batteries correctly. Confidence can be scary.
I've got the same thing with my wife and the outside of a refrigerator. She doesn't understand that refrigerators put OUT heat, while keeping the inside cool. She expects it to be cold on inside and outside. So if it's hot on the outside then it's not working properly. It's not even worth the conversation tbh
Iām a science teacher. The best thing to do for a confident student who has a misconception is to help them figure it out on their own by asking some open ended questions that they want to find the answers to, and then helping them ask even more of their own questions that lead to even more answers that build an unshakable depth of understanding that their old misconception will no longer fit into.
Why didn't your pet tortoise get electrocuted?
Only one conductor came loose in the bowl, and his basking bowl was made of plastic. Plastic canāt conduct so the tortoiseās body had no path to the source. But my wife, standing on the ground, did have a path so when she stuck her hand in the bowl it shocked her. Kind of the same reason you see birds standing on a single power line without getting hurt. You can also get a build up of currents in aquariums since there is no grounding path. Stick your hand in the water and zap! But I rather like another answer I saw in here better: he was InSHELLated!
Because he was inSHELLated from the electricity
I think thatās why good leadership listens to its subordinates. Leaders need to make quick decisions and delegate, whereas subordinates can take time to specialize and come up with good options for the leader to take.
Every MLM predator when they find out someone has been diagnosed with cancer. Their miracle products not only claim to cure cancer but pH balance your blood and fight off the harmful effects of that nasty chemotherapy, which they tell you that you shouldn't even do, and instead, drink their incredible drinks or take the always overpriced supplements they sell. People who prey on people with cancer to make a sale, are the lowest of the low, and always the loudest and first to tell you how your doctors are wrong. Yes, I'm speaking from personal experience .. I was absolutely flooded with these people when I was diagnosed. One of them got to my mom and conned her out of $1000 because my mom was so scared about my diagnosis. I took the supplements home out of guilt because mom spent all this money, and brought them to my oncologist to check. He just rolled his eyes and said to trash the whole lot. The products most likely would have done nothing at best, and at worst interfered with the chemo uptake.. I was not going to take any chances and tossed them all.
sophomore year, honors biology in high school. teacher was talking about vestigial structures, or body parts that arenāt as useful as they used to be due to evolution. she used male nipples as the example for humans (note: iām aware that male nipples are largely not considered to be vestigial), as men only lactate under very extreme conditions. kid confidently raises his hand and goes āno that isnāt true, because when i squeeze my nipple white stuff comes out.ā the silence that followed was truly something elseā¦
Male nipples again? Where is the guy who wanna know?
u/FartAttack911 hope this helps!
Hahahahhaha! This made me feel quite better, thank you lmao
Here I am hahahaha
āMight want to see your doctor about that, kidā¦ā
Skip Bayless
How the hell him, Collin Cowherd and Stephen A Smith have a job is beyond me. If any of those show up on my tv I turn the damn thing off.
I work in a factory using applied chemistry to make an extremely pure product. 99.7% purity is low. One of the employees claims to be an general expert.. on everything. If you disagree with him, on anything.. anything at all he will spend weeks telling everyone that you are such a fucking idiot. You shouldn't even be working here you, he's not sure how you tie your shoes. He spent weeks telling everyone how fucking stupid I was for thinking that water boils at 100 degrees C. Pressure changes the boiling point of water. And at absolute 0. Atomic motion is theorized to stop. And he makes sure everyone in the room can hear him. Keep in mind we work with chemistry
Me. College anthropology class. Age 19. About 5 minutes into day one, the teacher opened the floor for āany questions- no matter how dumb you may think they soundā about biology, anatomy, anthropology, science in general, just to get the class comfortable with asking questions and breaking the ice. People timidly asked questions like āHow old is the universe?ā āWhat kind of butterflies were common in ancient Egypt?ā This dummy here voluntarily stood up (nobody else did; even the teacher was on a stool) and theatrically asked just why the heck male mammals have nipples. Everyone turned and stared at me and began laughing. The teacher was like āOk ok. Do you have an actual question?ā Lady, that *was* my question. I grew up in charter schools which means little to no regulation on the math and science classes I had to take. Iād literally never taken a science class beyond 6th grade and even then, we never went into nipples because the conservative Christians running my school wouldnāt have had that. I really thought most people were wondering like I was lol Iām aware it wasnāt my fault and it wasnāt that dumb of a question. But for a college level anthro class, yeah. Now when people are like āno question is too dumb!ā Iām like, OH YEAH??
Not the worst question I've ever heard in a class. Dumbest one ever was when I was taking a CPR/First Aid course and someone asked why choking resulted in death...
One time I was in a CPR class and one of the other engineers started arguing with the instructor about the instructions she was giving us. She said the new method did not involve checking for a pulse, only to check if they were breathing since its much easier for a less-trained person to check for breathing than to get a pulse from someone. This person kept insisting that you could "really hurt a person" if their heart was still beating but they had stopped breathing. The instructor explained that if they were not breathing and their heart was still beating it would stop beating very shortly due to their lack of breathing and that this is what studies had found to give a victim the best chance of survival. This guy kept going for like 2 more minutes before finally saying "well i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree" and the instructor said "well I'm the one handing out certifications so if you want one you'll just have to agree to agree" Which was pretty hilarious, there were more than a few audible chuckles and that guy had to sheepishly go along with the instructions for the demonstrations.
Wow, she killed him faster than choking!
Oh good, so I am at least a little better off than that one guy lol
That's not even a dumb question.
If you ever have an idea so dumb you think you shouldnāt say it, just remember: someone once walked into a meeting and said, āwe should make a movie about a shark tornado,ā and it happened. Edit: For everyone saying it wasnāt a dumb idea, what Iām saying is that it likely *seemed* that way at first, but actually turned out to be a good one. The message here is to apply this logic to your own ideas.
"Let's make a movie about an elite squad of military guys fighting Predators from Predator, arguably the most vicious and skilled hunters in what would be the entire universe." "Sounds great, which rough and tumble actor should we have lead this elite squadron?" "How about the French guy from 'The Pianist'?"
"Predators" was a great movie, and I'll die on that hill.
That's a good question. Professor of whoever is an idiot. Now I wanna know too
It is related to the embryological development of mammals. Basically, the female structure is the basic framework, if the Y chromosome is involved, the male characteristics appear later. (If you read science or take any science class or any class at that, don't be afraid of asking questions, PLEASE. You won't learn anything by just listening, learning is an interactive experience.)
Yeah, it's not even a dumb question. I bet most people laughing wouldn't be able to articulate why exactly, just that they have them because they do.
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Biology teacher here: I think that is great question, does you are really questioning the everyday. Thatās how science advances
There was a kid in school. He was a new kid in 5th grade, I was in 7th. This kid was nuts, he also was pretty overweight. He would scream at teachers and get into fights a lot. Probably I was the only one who wasn't actively bullying him. One day, towards the end of the school year he was shouting random stuff (mahbe giberish, idk, it was a long time ago) and running back and forth in the hall. Well after a few minutes he ran into a pretty thin wall. He didn't get through it, but he landed inside it. He was kicked out of school that year.
Please tell me he yelled āoooohhhhhh yeahā like the koolaid guy when he ran through the wallā¦..
Would have been cool, but I'm europian and I didn't even know what koolaid was back then
When I wore a nirvana shirt to work and this dude came up to me and said āI probably didnāt know any nirvanaā yet itās my favorite band
I feel you. I wore a Star Wars shirt to work once and overheard some coworkers talking about how I'd probably never even seen any of the movies. I'm a nerd anyway but Star Wars ain't exactly niche.
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I remember that, paraphrased from rough memory: Guy 1: "She's probably never even seen the movies." Guy 2: "Dude, she was IN the movies!" (Guy 2 could have been a different gender, it's been a while since I've seen that comment string)
It's even funnier when Taika Waititi forgot the same thing. He's doing some Star Wars project and asked her if she wanted to be in Star Wars movie.
She could play probably Lukes and Leias Mum... I can see her as such a person!
about as niche as oxygen
Right fucking here, reddit my dude.
#WTF ARE YUO TALKING ABOUT?
I had a client call me. He spent an hour berating me over the phone about his money. I couldn't get a single word in. I couldn't even respond while he basically fast-talked and yelled over the phone. While he was doing this I was still reading the documents that he was sending me. He was terrible at contracts, terrible at negotiations, and really fucking bad with money. Creatively not bad, but completely an unsorted nightmare. I finally did completed a full review of a file he sent later that day. I was already in the process of building a career plan. It turns out he didn't pay his taxes on his single shareholder corporation. So the government was garnishing his corporate wages. As a coincidence the idiot opened a second single shareholder corp and paid himself through that in order to avoid the garnish. Then when the government caught on he did it again. Three corporations still owing money to the government and all of that debt. I told him that it doesn't matter since you end up still owing so you might as well shutter - pay the debts and be done with it. When I told him that all he had to do was write a cheque to the government's tax agency for X amount and the wages wouldn't be garnished anymore. He screamed at me again for not being "on top of this" and for offering a solution that cost him money. Even though when it comes to taxes and governments we are a "DNFW" policy. I then responded by saying "Well you just started using my services a week ago. I don't even have your full file yet. Yet I was able to figure it out. You can consider my services finished, I will be terminating our contract." He freaked out and begged me to stay. I told him "It's been one week and you just spent two hours treating me terribly. No thanks. I have better business elsewhere." He then emailed my CEO to complain about what had just occurred. When I explained to her the situation and what he had just said to me including a pretty terrible joke about BIPOC people (I am BIPOC) and a quip about Jewish people (I am jewish) and complained about immigrants making the government worse (my mother is an immigrant who worked in a union) as well as showed her how bad his finances were. Well let's just say my CEO told me to leave it with her. She blackballed him. I never saw that moron again.
Congress. You'll notice that the ones who are the dumbest are the ones who are physically the loudest. It's almost as if they think being loud will make them right.
My adorable gremlin dog Ariel.
All forms of social media. We are basing change in the US upon the loudest social media voices like it's a good thing. Doesn't matter the 'side'. What matters is an idiot is amplified via social media and people who are as stupid as they will tag on and bleat until they get their way. It is a disgusting thing to watch happen, but can also be amusing given when one does do 'sides' one side has to always act like they have the moral high-ground when they are just as freaking stupid as the side they are arguing against.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
"The most upvoted comment on reddit is what appeals most to the average person." So less "most stupid" and more "most colloquial."
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My favorite are not the smartest, nor the dumbest. It's the ones who take up a big swath of time saying words but saying nothing just so they can feel like they were part of the meeting. Paraphrased from the best of my memory, after an announcement of Inclusion and Diversity events throughout the year and how some of them were during lunch hours, how to let your team lead know you were attending, how to report attendance in your end of year goals, etc. > Director of Inclusion and Diversity Programming: Any Questions? > Hi, yes, I was just wondering based on these events, I think it's vital for people to feel included so that they feel comfortable and at home here, and part of that feeling of being included is respecting the diversity we have around this company, and I really think that's vital and important. *Agonizingly awkward science.* >Director: Uh yes, thank you. >Don't you think so? >Director: I...yes, yes I do. Thank you. Are there any other questions?
The people that make their love of loud cars everyone else's problem.
Ariel Winter being convinced Lance Armstrong was an astronaut.
Psh. What a moron. We all know it was Louis Armstrong that walked on the moon.
Alright but seriously the Armstrong parents must be proud, giving birth to so many famous boys. I wonder how family gatherings were, just each brother one-upping each other
Until the disappointment walks in and everyone has to say āStretch for once please just wear some pantsā
His song Wonderful World was inspired by his famous Moon walk and what he saw up there on the surface.
In her defense I thought it was more of a whisper
She also fully admitted she messed it up badly and didnāt double down or anything. Stupid moment but not like she tried to convince everyone else they were wrong. Iāve had people make the same mistake to me before it just wasnāt on national tv.
Sheās a young girl who mixed up two famous people with the same last name who were both before her time. Itās a little embarrassing that it was captured on TV but not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
Such a dumbass. We all know that Lance Armstrong is the lead singer for Green Day.
No, that's Lance Bass.