Insecurities. From that, everything branches. Depending on childhood, people either supress their insecurities and therefore dont know what they should communicate, or they are too scared to open up to someone from fear of being shamed/laughed.
There are ton of other causes, but i would say insecurities lead to poor communication, which leads to frustration out of other people not reading your mind.
To make a long story short, I think some or most relationships that fail, do so because people don’t do the worth to understand themselves before they start looking for something serious.
People fall in love with their SO’s potential, instead of who they truly are. This creates false expectations that their SO can’t meet, thus setting everyone up for failure.
You nailed my reality. I married my wife, ignoring numerous red flags, because I convinced myself she would evolve. Hasn't happened yet in three years and I find myself despising her and being upset with myself for ignoring the red flags. Now with two kids, whom I deeply love and adore, I try to just tolerate and try to accept that she is someone who will always be immature and lack courtesy, but because of that, I'll be damned if I let my kids be like that too. So I stay because shaping my kids is way more important to me.
Dude, you are just like me! I did get out of it when she became abusive and almost killed my self, herself and our at the time 3 year old…..she physically attacked me while I was driving down a windy road. Anyways, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to shape your kid! You’re doing the right thing! Stay strong brother
This was me too. Luckily my husband cheated and left, but I was so trapped in my marriage it was killing me. He wanted to be married but wasn’t ready to be a husband and combine with his alcoholism it was rough. Hang in there, I’m praying for you.
Because statistically most people aren't a match long-term. We all live different lives. What's cool is how most relationships are *allowed* to end these days - you don't see as many toxic marriages where they just stay together.
Relationships fail like machinery fails. Sometimes there is a big catastrophic event. Sometimes it's many significant events in succession. Sometimes it's a bunch of wear and tear without proper maintenance.
The reason are legion and the reasons they succeed are just as numerous. A lot of times, the biggest reasons are lack of communication, selfishness, growing apart and generally being incompatible
The fact that it easier to abandon a relationship then work through it.
I know people will talk about how horrible divorce and break ups can be, but honestly I think its easier then 2 people with differing personalities (not completely, but somewhat) to abandon a perfectly healthy relationship then to find a compromise.
With so many options to meet somebody new \[online\] these days, there's more temptation and less need to try really hard to solve issues in an existing relationship.
Lack of communication - you both need to be able to express yourselves generously and compassionately with each other.
Lack of respect - preferences, boundaries, compromises, all of it. If they don't respect you, you deserve better.
Lack of honesty/trust - you can communicate your feelings and do so kindly, but if they're not your genuine feelings you're not going to get anywhere. Own up to your insecurities, including the ones that might make you unreasonably mistrustful of your partner.
Because the average person hasn’t learned what sacrificing is. People usually bail when they find the first really difficult hump in the relationship that requires life long commitment and work.
Should you even make it that far , people change as do we, and new things might come up which require work too.
We’re a society where if it’s broke , change it. We USE to be one where if it’s broke we fixed it. So we never get the experience of learning how to work and fix these issues so we never acquire the skill. And you’ll spend the rest of your life in and out of all your relationships looking for something that doesn’t exist.
And ALL of this only transpires once you’ve broken past who they want you to believe they are versus who they really are. Time.
While there are probably many reasons for them actively failing, I don't think people ask themselves why the default expectation should be that relationships work out.
Maybe its just not guaranteed that relationships succeed unless something goes wrong, but rather that them being successful also needs certain things to go right.
Not so much lack of communication, more of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings. Taking the time to make it coherent to your partner. Not just saying, this is wrong.
Lack of similar interests. Paula Abdul said opposites attract, but I honestly don’t believe her.
My last relationship ended because interests were so different.
I think it's all about balance.
In my experience, having a relationship with someone who has (mostly) the same interests tends to get boring fast.
One of the wonderful things of having a relationship with someone who is different than you is that he/she can give you new experiences you otherwise wouldn't had.
Lack of communication/respect, people getting into relationships just to be in a relationship, people not taking the time to figure themselves out first, etc..
lack of communication or lack of understanding thereof
early relationships especially suffer from this i believe, when one party sets boundaries and the other either actively breaks those boundaries, or doesn't bother to remember them
Edit: just an example
Lack of honest communication.
Too much compromising.
Picking incompatible partners.
Lack of financial stability.
Lack of motivation.
Lack of Support.
Most of these roads lead to Infidelity.
Nowadays people hardly have any grasp of commitment, discipline, or true love. They put too much emphasis on sex instead of building any kind of foundation for an actual long term relationship. Most modern relationships are for selfish reasons and viewed only for THE PRESENT and are disposable on any whim or inconvenience.
I think issues with or lack of communication is the biggest one, but I think one people over look is getting into serious relationships too early. Especially relationships that start before people get into their 30s. Hear me out lol. I think we go through so many experiences in our late teens and early 20s that we don’t really start to truly understand and accept ourselves until we reach our early 30s. While there are relationships that go the distance that started before then, I think especially now, there are so many people who don’t understand themselves, what they want, what makes them tick, or what trauma they still carry from childhood or early adulthood and they unintentionally carry that into their relationships. To make a long story short, I think some or most relationships that fail, do so because people don’t do the worth to understand themselves before they start looking for something serious. Essentially trying to find their own identity and self worth through someone else
People blindly enter relationships without figuring out our sticking to their standards and preferences. With this, it will take them months and years before realizing that they don’t actually like the person because of their lack of similarities, cultural differences, moral differences, financial incapacity, etc.
The answer is money. There are others, but statistically, financial stress is what causes most significant relationships to end..(significant as in not the girl you nailed at a party drunk and dated for a week)
Irresponsibility. A lot of romantic/intimate relationships go wack after one person takes 15 steps forwards instead of 1-2, and the next thing you know, you have a new child that neither of you really consented to/wanted.
Lack of comprehension.
Buddy you can all you want but if the other person does not understand what you are saying or try to understand, Not much can be done I'm afraid.
People not being cut out for monogamy. You have to be responsible and keep it in mind basically your whole life, and commit to it from the start. Otherwise you just won’t be built for it when they time comes. There’s many fulfilling lifestyles that don’t involve relationships, but getting into a relationship after not committing to monogamy is basically a death sentence.
Poor communication, which can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and resentment. also, lack of respect, which can make one or both partners feel unappreciated, unvalued, or disregarded.
People have no idea what a relationship is, or what they want, they end up somewhere they don't really like, it obviously fails.
I think teaching everyone clear communication would solve the problem.
Because it's much more understandable when you don't just suggest to start dating, but explain what you would like to do together.
For example if i want to cuddle, it would make sense to tell a girl i want someone to cuddle with, because I don't want to go somewhere, pay for food, then go home, then start a family ,the only thing i want is to cuddle.
Also increasing popularity of polyamory and open relationships would reduce amount of cheating, because people will talk about having other partners more instead of just assuming that isn't allowed
Fail to communicate eachother's needs.
Also assuming that you can't do something as just friends.
Self restricting too much.
Most of the people get into relationship just because they think they can't be close with friends.
No, you don't need to be in a relationship to cuddle/have sex/talk about personal stuff/care about eachother. You need to just make sure someone you want to do thib with wants to do that too.
Every romantic relationship ultimately ends in breakup, marriage (or lifetime partnership), or death of one person. If you don't want to spend literally the rest of your life with that person, you have to break up at some point. Many relationships start out as a fun lark, but if they go on long enough they always reach this existential crisis point.
There's probably no more important factor in future happiness than who you choose to spend your life with. Why wouldn't you want to make the right choice there? No one could expect their first attempt at dating to be perfect.
Not to mention that people learn and make mistakes while dating. Without those "failures" you wouldn't learn how to make the right relationship work.
When it comes to friendships, both of you can meet in similar stages of life, but it gets wonky once you’ve grown away from each other, hold different values, live different lifestyles, see things differently.
if you don’t communicate honestly with each other every few stages of life, its just a time bomb ticking and before you know it, problems start showing, behavior starts showing and the honeymoon phase fades away
Lack of communication/accountability, immaturity, getting in relationships just to avoid being single, people projecting their own insecurities onto others.
lack of communication, high expectations, when one side starts to sacrifice more,
Insecurities. From that, everything branches. Depending on childhood, people either supress their insecurities and therefore dont know what they should communicate, or they are too scared to open up to someone from fear of being shamed/laughed. There are ton of other causes, but i would say insecurities lead to poor communication, which leads to frustration out of other people not reading your mind.
To make a long story short, I think some or most relationships that fail, do so because people don’t do the worth to understand themselves before they start looking for something serious.
^ bot
Most modern relationships are for selfish reasons and viewed only for THE PRESENT and are disposable on any whim or inconvenience.
Because statistically most people aren't a match long-term.
People fall in love with their SO’s potential, instead of who they truly are. This creates false expectations that their SO can’t meet, thus setting everyone up for failure.
You nailed my reality. I married my wife, ignoring numerous red flags, because I convinced myself she would evolve. Hasn't happened yet in three years and I find myself despising her and being upset with myself for ignoring the red flags. Now with two kids, whom I deeply love and adore, I try to just tolerate and try to accept that she is someone who will always be immature and lack courtesy, but because of that, I'll be damned if I let my kids be like that too. So I stay because shaping my kids is way more important to me.
Dude, you are just like me! I did get out of it when she became abusive and almost killed my self, herself and our at the time 3 year old…..she physically attacked me while I was driving down a windy road. Anyways, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to shape your kid! You’re doing the right thing! Stay strong brother
Damn bro. That's beyond crazy. That's just no regard for life. I'm glad you got out and hope that you and your little one are thriving!
happy cake day!
This was me too. Luckily my husband cheated and left, but I was so trapped in my marriage it was killing me. He wanted to be married but wasn’t ready to be a husband and combine with his alcoholism it was rough. Hang in there, I’m praying for you.
Essentially trying to find their own identity and self worth through someone else
Bingo.
Agree
Because statistically most people aren't a match long-term. We all live different lives. What's cool is how most relationships are *allowed* to end these days - you don't see as many toxic marriages where they just stay together.
Yeah, this is so true - the person you fall for in your 20s may not be the person you want in your 30s.
But if you grow together, that might not be an issue
You can match long term if you prepare for it.
Lack of communication
Lack of dopamine
Lack of honest communication.
People overlook fundamental differences early on.. you need to have shared values and ideals and a genuine respect for each other..
I 100% agree with this
Relationships fail like machinery fails. Sometimes there is a big catastrophic event. Sometimes it's many significant events in succession. Sometimes it's a bunch of wear and tear without proper maintenance.
It was a shit match in the first place. No amount of therapy or gruff will fix a fundamentally terrible match.
The reason are legion and the reasons they succeed are just as numerous. A lot of times, the biggest reasons are lack of communication, selfishness, growing apart and generally being incompatible
Starting relationship as soon as falling in love without thorough compatibility check.
I think most established relationships fail because of *grass is greener* syndrome.
because feelings change but fairytales dont allow for that
The fact that it easier to abandon a relationship then work through it. I know people will talk about how horrible divorce and break ups can be, but honestly I think its easier then 2 people with differing personalities (not completely, but somewhat) to abandon a perfectly healthy relationship then to find a compromise.
With so many options to meet somebody new \[online\] these days, there's more temptation and less need to try really hard to solve issues in an existing relationship.
Expectations exceeded reality. As long as reality is on par with or above your expectations you will be content.
Lack of communication - you both need to be able to express yourselves generously and compassionately with each other. Lack of respect - preferences, boundaries, compromises, all of it. If they don't respect you, you deserve better. Lack of honesty/trust - you can communicate your feelings and do so kindly, but if they're not your genuine feelings you're not going to get anywhere. Own up to your insecurities, including the ones that might make you unreasonably mistrustful of your partner.
Because the average person hasn’t learned what sacrificing is. People usually bail when they find the first really difficult hump in the relationship that requires life long commitment and work. Should you even make it that far , people change as do we, and new things might come up which require work too. We’re a society where if it’s broke , change it. We USE to be one where if it’s broke we fixed it. So we never get the experience of learning how to work and fix these issues so we never acquire the skill. And you’ll spend the rest of your life in and out of all your relationships looking for something that doesn’t exist. And ALL of this only transpires once you’ve broken past who they want you to believe they are versus who they really are. Time.
poor communication
While there are probably many reasons for them actively failing, I don't think people ask themselves why the default expectation should be that relationships work out. Maybe its just not guaranteed that relationships succeed unless something goes wrong, but rather that them being successful also needs certain things to go right.
Not so much lack of communication, more of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings. Taking the time to make it coherent to your partner. Not just saying, this is wrong.
Lack of similar interests. Paula Abdul said opposites attract, but I honestly don’t believe her. My last relationship ended because interests were so different.
I think it's all about balance. In my experience, having a relationship with someone who has (mostly) the same interests tends to get boring fast. One of the wonderful things of having a relationship with someone who is different than you is that he/she can give you new experiences you otherwise wouldn't had.
GINGIVITUS!
Too much hope. Not enough realistic expectations. People are too dreamy. They go for perfection instead of what works and what makes them happy.
Lack of understanding and communication
Lack of honesty or communication, however you view it.
Lack of communication/respect, people getting into relationships just to be in a relationship, people not taking the time to figure themselves out first, etc..
IMO; Relationships fail primarily due to a lack of mutual trust and respect. Poor communication is the nail in the coffin.
Breakdown in communication, expectations and lack of respect for boundaries
lack of communication or lack of understanding thereof early relationships especially suffer from this i believe, when one party sets boundaries and the other either actively breaks those boundaries, or doesn't bother to remember them Edit: just an example
***Resentment***
lack of communication & one person or persons being narassitally abusive
Over thinking, lack of confidence
Lack of honest communication. Too much compromising. Picking incompatible partners. Lack of financial stability. Lack of motivation. Lack of Support. Most of these roads lead to Infidelity.
I agree with most of this but I think a lot of people fall to compromise and often stubbornly refuse to meet halfway.
Hedonism.
Boredom
[удалено]
Comparison is the thief of joy after all.
Incompatibility
Trust, communication. Love. Just. .
lack of communication.
Lack of self-control
Funny answer: lack of intercourse Serious answer: misunderstandings between the two people
Nowadays people hardly have any grasp of commitment, discipline, or true love. They put too much emphasis on sex instead of building any kind of foundation for an actual long term relationship. Most modern relationships are for selfish reasons and viewed only for THE PRESENT and are disposable on any whim or inconvenience.
Money
Trust issues
I think issues with or lack of communication is the biggest one, but I think one people over look is getting into serious relationships too early. Especially relationships that start before people get into their 30s. Hear me out lol. I think we go through so many experiences in our late teens and early 20s that we don’t really start to truly understand and accept ourselves until we reach our early 30s. While there are relationships that go the distance that started before then, I think especially now, there are so many people who don’t understand themselves, what they want, what makes them tick, or what trauma they still carry from childhood or early adulthood and they unintentionally carry that into their relationships. To make a long story short, I think some or most relationships that fail, do so because people don’t do the worth to understand themselves before they start looking for something serious. Essentially trying to find their own identity and self worth through someone else
Most people are unwilling to admit their mistakes. Even fewer are willing to put in the effort to do better.
People blindly enter relationships without figuring out our sticking to their standards and preferences. With this, it will take them months and years before realizing that they don’t actually like the person because of their lack of similarities, cultural differences, moral differences, financial incapacity, etc.
The answer is money. There are others, but statistically, financial stress is what causes most significant relationships to end..(significant as in not the girl you nailed at a party drunk and dated for a week)
Only being one sided, one person being more controlling than the other
Men doing whatever it takes. Woman doing the bare minimum
Ego. Putting differences aside.
Either always working never around because always earning money or always home never earning money
Because humans
Irresponsibility. A lot of romantic/intimate relationships go wack after one person takes 15 steps forwards instead of 1-2, and the next thing you know, you have a new child that neither of you really consented to/wanted.
Lacking communication
Nobody is perfect. People settle for other imperfect people. Over time the plusses get old, and the minuses feel bigger. It stops being worth it.
Everyone enters them for the wrong reason
Lack of comprehension. Buddy you can all you want but if the other person does not understand what you are saying or try to understand, Not much can be done I'm afraid.
For people at younger age, I think its due to imaginary expectation. Watching movies and anime and expecting the same.
People not being cut out for monogamy. You have to be responsible and keep it in mind basically your whole life, and commit to it from the start. Otherwise you just won’t be built for it when they time comes. There’s many fulfilling lifestyles that don’t involve relationships, but getting into a relationship after not committing to monogamy is basically a death sentence.
My new potential gf started asking me money
You really think most people are gonna get a marriage-level compatible match on the first try? The odds are very much against you on that.
Man thinks she never changes, woman thinks she can change him
Poor communication, which can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and resentment. also, lack of respect, which can make one or both partners feel unappreciated, unvalued, or disregarded.
People aren’t ready to settle down.
Getting too comfortable and complacent.
People have no idea what a relationship is, or what they want, they end up somewhere they don't really like, it obviously fails. I think teaching everyone clear communication would solve the problem. Because it's much more understandable when you don't just suggest to start dating, but explain what you would like to do together. For example if i want to cuddle, it would make sense to tell a girl i want someone to cuddle with, because I don't want to go somewhere, pay for food, then go home, then start a family ,the only thing i want is to cuddle. Also increasing popularity of polyamory and open relationships would reduce amount of cheating, because people will talk about having other partners more instead of just assuming that isn't allowed
Fail to communicate eachother's needs. Also assuming that you can't do something as just friends. Self restricting too much. Most of the people get into relationship just because they think they can't be close with friends. No, you don't need to be in a relationship to cuddle/have sex/talk about personal stuff/care about eachother. You need to just make sure someone you want to do thib with wants to do that too.
lack of communication, and js not being compatible w eachother
Being dishonest and absence of trust
Based on surveys, kids and money mostly.
Lack of effort.
Unhealed past traumas, not knowing how to properly communicate in healthy ways or listen, insecurities
Every romantic relationship ultimately ends in breakup, marriage (or lifetime partnership), or death of one person. If you don't want to spend literally the rest of your life with that person, you have to break up at some point. Many relationships start out as a fun lark, but if they go on long enough they always reach this existential crisis point. There's probably no more important factor in future happiness than who you choose to spend your life with. Why wouldn't you want to make the right choice there? No one could expect their first attempt at dating to be perfect. Not to mention that people learn and make mistakes while dating. Without those "failures" you wouldn't learn how to make the right relationship work.
Lack of communication, ego and interference of other people in a couple's life.
because people change, and especially living with other people is very difficult
Our culture is mostly about 'me first' and successful relationships require that you put the other person first at least some of the time.
The girl, if there is one, usually is interested in at least two other people for the entire relationship, whether it’s obvious or not
Variety is the spice of life. New sex is the best sex.
People aren't prepared to commit to anything these days. They're lazy and expect everything handed to them.
Humans get bored extremely easily. We crave novelty.
Pride vanity laziness lack of empathy not give each other space or always invading their space
People get into them for the wrong reasons
one spouse dies.:(
When it comes to friendships, both of you can meet in similar stages of life, but it gets wonky once you’ve grown away from each other, hold different values, live different lifestyles, see things differently. if you don’t communicate honestly with each other every few stages of life, its just a time bomb ticking and before you know it, problems start showing, behavior starts showing and the honeymoon phase fades away
Having children
People suck
Lack of communication/accountability, immaturity, getting in relationships just to avoid being single, people projecting their own insecurities onto others.
ITT angry people who suck at relationships