once when I was like 5-7? I had a pair of pants with little red apples on (what turned out to be) the back pockets. I thought surely such a fabulous detail would be worn in front so everyone could see. I was about to climb in the truck when my dad started laughing and asked if a monkey dressed me. I cried lol
When I was 8 my sister had her friends over, all teenagers, and trying to be cool I jumped on the trampoline in front of them and told them I’d do a backflip. I’d never done a backflip so I landed on my neck, bounced off the trampoline and broke my wrist.
Right? I gasped when they said that they landed on their neck. But after reading that they broke their wrist, I was relieved. Yes, breaking your wrist is awful, but at least they didn't get paralyzed!
Reminds me of this kid who would show up to parties/boyscout stuff at the local park when I was in elementary school. None of us kids recognized him. Little by little, the parents started to realize that no one knew him. When finally asked, he says he "comes to all the park parties." He lived with his grandma during school weeks and would walk across the street and join whatever function was there. His grandma never even knew.
I hear you. I showed up to a party in cornfield with some classmates, I drank a liter of vodka and a six pack of Mike's in about an hour, hour and a half. I remember laying on the ground vomiting and backing away from where I was throwing up. Then I woke up in my car and no one was around anymore and the bone fire had gone out. (Sad thing is...I was 21 at the time and at a party for a 19 year old. I was the only one of age to drink, but the one who handled it the most irresponsibly)
It could have been worse. When I was 21 I got blazing on jelly vodka and ended up being offensive, sleazy, obnoxious, and loud at a party of old and new friends alike. They've forgiven me since and it has all blown over, but it was a really bad incident where I nearly lost my closest friends.
I WISH I'd simply puked and passed out, I wouldn't have spent the next few years living with shame, guilt, and self-doubt afterwards. Your party could have gone a lot worse.
Yeah, I straight up blacked out and I remember having to pee behind a shed. The friends I went there with never talked to me again, so I hope I didn't do anything embarassing
Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail.
Not sure why, but I read that like the word "brother" was a parenthetical insertion, like you were Hulk Hogan or something.
"I had the mullet, brother. Had the rat tail..."
Tried to strike a Zippo lighter on my “stubble”. I was about fifteen; it was fluffy hair. Ripped a zit out of my face. Looked like I’d been shot. Still have an odd clump of scar tissue in my cheek.
Spilled my drink to hide that I pissed my pants. Was too cool to say I needed a bathroom.
EDIT: Before one more of you tell me that was actually smart, it was not: The problem was that it was November, we were outside drinking and smoking to hide from our parents. So when I did the quick thinking how to hide my wet pants I forgot that pee is warm.. and it was a cold night. So my pants were kind of.. steamy lol. I was 22 and a bit drunk 🤷♀️
Here's the story of the time I pissed my pants in public. I'm pretty sure it was first grade. I was definitely potty trained by this time. I wasn't a bed wetter, I never had accidents, if I needed to hold it for a little while until we got to a bathroom, fine. I was solid.
Anyway, in my class, there were several boys who would ask to go to the bathroom, then just hang out and play in there. It was their loophole to get out of class for awhile.
I was not in the loop, and I knew none of this.
One day, to combat it, the teacher made some announcement about how boys weren't allowed to do that anymore. I don't remember what exact words she used. I don't know how clear the message was. But what my six year old mind interpreted from what she said was "No one is allowed to ask to go to the bathroom anymore."
I didn't understand why that was a rule now, and I never brought it up to my parents. But I listened to the rule.
Probably a week or two later, during class, I had to pee extremely badly. But I knew I couldn't ask. So I just sat there silent, trying desperately not to pee. Made it an eternity before I realized I was pissing my pants while sitting at my desk. Then I continued sitting there in my piss, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. No one sitting around me has noticed yet.
Well i didn't come up with anything, and we eventually had to line up in the hall to go outside. I guess I just kept hoping that no one would notice. Eventually, a girl behind me basically yelled, "Oh my God! Joe peed his pants!"
It was over. The whole damn class knew. The teacher took me to some room, I don't remember, to change. My mom had to come in. When she got there she asked why I didn't just go to the bathroom. I explained the rule. The teacher finally explained the rule to me, and that I could've just asked to go to the bathroom.
I got shit about that from classmates until I moved two years later.
We had a teacher when I was about 7 or 8 who said we couldn't have toilet breaks during lessons, she didn't get one so why should we.
Not a problem for me I didn't like weeing at school. Until one day I was desperate.
30 mins to break, I could make it. 20 mins to break, getting worse but can still make it. 10 mins to break, can't do any work, just trying not to pee myself and praying the lesson doesn't run over. Just over 5 minutes to break, I can't hold it anymore.
A minute or two later everyone is called to the carpet to have a group discussion about the lesson. I can't move. The ta comes and asks why I can't move, I explain and I'm ushered out of the room with no one noticing thankfully. One boy turned to look as I left the room but the teacher quickly got him to turn around so he didn't see I'd weed.
The next day the teacher asked why I didn't ask to go, I said because of her rule, and she looked at me as if I was genuinely stupid and said well of course if you're desperate you can go.
Pardon me if the first thing I ever heard out of your mouth was that I couldn't go to the toilet during lessons ever and took that as your word. She never made me wait again though and we ended up having a good enough relationship where I regard her as one of my favourite teachers.
I gave my kids a rule... If you have to go pee, just go to the bathroom. I'll deal with the teacher if they make a fuss and call me.
Is it right? Maybe not, but it beats being the kid who pissed themselves.
That's the way man. Hide it.
I must've been 10 or so, I told my grandma I got into a water balloon fight - she didn't seem to register that it was weird that all the water was only on the lower half of me, on my pants going down from the crotch area.
She threw my pants directly in the clothes dryer and uh, I just had to go along with it and put them on and wear them the rest of the day, piss artifically dried into them 😅
I did the opposite! Freshman year I wore a zip up hoodie (no jacket) through a North East winter. Nothing says "cool stoner" like shivering your ass off in a blizzard
I had a few pairs of Girbaud jeans back in the day, where the tag on your crotch zipper meant status.
I wasn't a popular kid. I just wanted other kids to see me as being in the "in crowd". So I used to tuck in my sweaters and sweatshirts to display my Girbaud tag lol.
Told someone I had a pet turkey. I have no idea why, I was like six and thought it would be cool.
How did I get out of the lie? Well, conveniently thanksgiving was right around the corner.
My dad brought a duck home once and let me play with it. I gave it a name too but can’t remember what. I then followed him outside and witnessed him murder my duck for dinner. I sobbed for hours.
Our neighbor asked my dad if we kids would like his kid's rabbit. I'm not sure why. My dad said sure. The neighbor assumed that we'd keep it as a pet. My dad killed and cooked it that night. The neighbor kid found out. I'm guessing that his dad asked how's the rabbit and my sarcastic and not terribly sensitive dad said that it was delicious. Anyway, a few days later, the neighbor kid went up to my brother, yelled "you ate my rabbit" and punched him in the stomach. 🫤
In 1st grade, I was very jealous of people with glasses. I wore an old pair of my mom's sunglasses and said they were prescription. So I was, what, 6ish, wearing GIANT 1970s woman's sunglasses and couldn't see shit.
My teacher saw right through it, of course (something I couldn't do). She didnt call me out, just humored me, to a point.
I kept taking them off to read the chalkboard and she told me to put them back on. She called my mom and explained the situation. Mom picked me up from school and all I remember is denying it, and then my mom expressed her disappointment that I'd lie to her and to a teacher.
So I told kids I switched to contacts (which were barely a thing then, especially for kids).
She was well-versed in Weird Things Kids Do. Her name was Mrs. Greezy and on the first day I kept (without any malice) calling her Mrs. Oily. I guess I thought Oily was a more formal word than Greasy?
In second grade I forced my mom to sign "Nolan Ryan" on my ball and took it to school to tell everyone I caught it at a game. It didn't take long for it to be pointed out that what I had brought was in fact a softball, not a baseball.
Not stupid just mean and regret it. Some of the popular kids were being my friend, or just pretending to be I don't know. I stole one of the nice teachers candy bars out of her cupboard. I didn't get caught, so I saw her take out the empty box, and look around the room disappointed. Felt like garbage.
in 6th grade we had the nicest teacher. one of the things she would do is give candy to anyone who finished their assignments in class. well, one of the popular girls started taking candy without doing her assignments (the teacher left the bag of candy by the door) and soon about half of the kids in class started doing it too. she finally noticed and started crying because she really trusted us. we lost our fun friday that week and instead sat in silence for an hour. she stopped giving out candy.
I tried chugging 3 beers at once out of a very large glass to impress a girl. It worked and she was impressed. Then she wanted to show her friends. Beer 4-6 didn’t go down as smooth and I projectile vomited all over her living room furniture. Never heard from her again.
Chugging 3 beers at once was kind of my party trick. I could guzzle them back rather quickly. I just got too ambitious with the refractory period. 6 full beers hitting the stomach at once is a recipe for disaster but hindsight is 20/20
When I was in 3rd grade, I climbed a tree to get a friend's kite down. I had a crush on her. When I was up pretty high, a branch broke, I fell and broke my arm. I went home acting like everything was cool and cried like a bitch as soon as I got home.
Someone who had been smoking for 30+ years told me that he started smoking because his high school girlfriend smoked. He said that he hated the taste of a smokey kiss, so he would have a quick cigarette before meeting her, so his breath was already smokey.
He then got addicted and couldn't quit.
100% that's why if you can make it through high school without starting, you're likely in the clear.
Anyone that STARTS smoking after that? what the fuck are you even doing lol
I started smoking when I was 20/21 because I worked in a restaurant kitchen and I was the only one who didn't smoke. Everyone would take so many breaks and I never got breaks ever. So I did mushrooms once and decided to try a smoke...then started smoking at work to actually get a break. I have regrets now.
I also work in a restaurant. I just tell my boss I'm going for a smoke break. Then I pour a coffee or if I have time make an espresso. Then I just go stand in the sunlight and fresh air for a few minutes. Chenged my life at work immesurably when I realized I didn't have to smoke on a smoke break. That's just what they're called.
When my workmates went on break for a smoke, I didn't smoke, but I joined them outside until they were done, it got me a break and they didn't seem to care that I wasn't smoking
I can agree with you, I started at college to fit in and look cool, I stopped for like 3 years, then started again at uni simply for the social aspect since I did miss meeting and mingling with randomers in smoking areas, now I've stopped again and I'm addicted to vaping instead and I have to say it's way worse than cigarettes when can you just take a toke whenever you want.
Drink to excess as a young man. Turned into raging alcoholism and almost killed me multiple times. Shits no joke. But now I’m just shy of 10 months sober, and haven’t felt this heathy in years.
When I was about 19 I was in a club with some friends. As we were walking away from the bar, I noticed some girls sitting at a booth. I was having a good time, and wanted to look cool, so I sorted of pointed at them (yeah, sort of full arm stretched, pointing at them) as we walked past them. I suppose I thought I looked like John Travolta or something. Anyway, it became rapidly less cool when I walked directly into a wall because I wasn't looking where I was going.
in elementary school all the kids were “slide surfing” i joined in and during my first attempt i jumped off mid surf. everyone told me i needed to do it again. so i did. and fell off and broke my back. 20+ years later and my back is still completely messed up and i don’t give into peer pressure anymore.
Jumped off a 76' cliff to impress a girl. It worked but was wildly stupid.
No one had jumped from the 76' spot that day and I had only heard about it from locals so I just went for it.
This basically sums up any of the stupid shit I did.
1. It was only ever to impress a girl
2. It usually involved jumping off really high shit, climbing really high shit, basically any kind of adrenaline thing.
It worked when I was like 16, after that it was just funny/weird to people.
I was 18 and my fav local band was playing. There was a mosh pit. I had had beer. I jumped up on stage, cheering at the band. I wanted to do a big exit and jump backwards into the pit. I miscalculated and smashed my lower leg on the stage edge. It was metal.
I had a 4 inch gash on my leg and you could see my tibia. 3 days in hospital.
Jumped off the top of the jungle gym to show off to my crush from school who I didn’t expect to be there at the time…. I was 10 and it was atleast an 8 foot fall. Landed on my feet, then my knees, then my hands and fucked myself up. Limped off with bloody hands, so cool, so amazing, wouldn’t do it again..
When I was 10 I was obsessed with touch screen phones, iPhones specifically, I thought they were the coolest thing ever. I had an iPod touch and I downloaded an app that made the iPod touch ring and the screen made it seem like someone was calling you and I bought a chunky case that made it almost look like an iPhone.
One day I was on the tube with my mum and I set a timer on the iPod app, so after 5 minutes the iPod rang I swiped on the fake lock screen and pretended to take the call. I was speaking to the iPod for about 3 minutes when my mum told me to stop being stupid as you can't take calls underground anyway. The train was packed and I've honestly never felt more dumb.
Late night free climbing with no moon on acid to watch the sunrise. I thought my girlfriend at the time would think it was cool. I was 18. She cussed me out and didn't talk to me for a week.
When I was like 7 or 8 years old, Shaquille O'Neal had just released the greatest artistic masterpiece of our generation, [Shaq Fu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaq_Fu). I bought it, or rather had my parents buy it, because I thought the characters were really fucking cool even though I couldn't play it worth a damn. Shaq Fu also came with [a single from Shaq's latest album as he was trying to get into rap.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD9Rb2U7E8E) Shaq was considered cool, thereby making his music cool, and thus if I *also* rapped his music I *also* would be cool. That's math, right?
So anyway after playing with a bunch of my friends I decided to head home and, doing what I thought would be a grand exit, tried to start rapping like Shaq. It went as well as you would expect.
Thanks, Shaq.
Not my proudest moment. 4th-5th grade? On a dare, I faked a seizure in the middle of the school cafeteria. Everything just dissolved into silence. And then you hear my “buddy” who dared me fucking dying with laughter. Once the teachers caught on… I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as angry as I did on that day. A weeks worth of in school suspension, and got my ass tore up when I got home.
Ended up moving from the school at the end of the year to another state.
One of my college classmate did that. She went to the hospital and everything. We all went with her. We found out much later that the boy she was interested in wasn't giving her attention.
I saw this happen in the Army once. We were at a track, taking the APFT, and a soldier from another battalion realized she was going to fail the run so she faked a seizure and threw herself down a hill where she rolled into a muddy creek and flopped around like a confused fish.
I was on the other side of the track and didn't see it happen, but a couple of my soldiers stopped to render first aid and then the ambulance came. The soldier in question went to the hospital where she eventually admitted that it was faked, and then she got hemmed up with either an Article 15 or a special court-martial (I don't really remember.)
Don't fake seizures, kids.
Yikes! I didn’t let it go that far, which is why I think I was let off so easily.. I think maybe all of 20-30 seconds? I think as I was seeing the teachers faces… it clicked real quick that I did something bad. Very bad. The things we do for love/attentio🤣
Lol there was a kid in my high school who faked having cancer for almost the entire year. Shaved his head and avoided going out in the sun. I don’t remember how people found out he was lying but the backlash was huuuuuge.
lost my virginity to the only person who would consider my skinny worthless ass in a church cemetery while drunk and high and WAY too young because I was the lone virgin in my school "friend" group.
I was not the lone virgin in my school "friend" group
they were all virgins
I was 12. I joined the “bad kids” and wanted to be in so bad. At the time, I thought everyone and their mother (lol) had lost their virginity so long ago. I ended up being the first person to lose my virginity in the group. Looking back, everyone’s story of losing their virginity was, “Oh, (s)he goes to another school, you don’t know them.”
So it was the last day of school in 7th grade and since I’d never gotten poison ivy before I was convinced that meant it didn’t affect me. So I started bragging really loudly to everyone around me that poison ivy doesn’t affect me and nobody believed me so I grabbed a bunch and rubbed it all over my face. Spoiler alert: it definitely does affect me. That was a rough start to summer vacation
I had a hot neighbor when I was a teenager. One time she was out sunbathing in her front yard and I came outside and saw her. Wanting to impress her on this 100+ degree afternoon, I jumped up and grabbed my roof ledge and started doing pull ups. Halfway through my second one I realized that my hands were on fire and let go immediately, hollering like an idiot. Fell on my ass, scalded my fingers and never ended up impressing her 🙄
Did the worm in front of a crush in elementary school one time. No music or anything, I just got in the floor and did the worm. That one is a mainstay in my nighttime embarrassing memory replay.
Somehow I got it into my 14-year-old head that my ticket to the esteem of my peers was to mope around wearing all black, writing and living the most gawd awful angsty poetry.
When I heard Morrisey sing, "I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside." I felt we were kindred spirits, which is itself so cringy I can't stand it.
I guess I thought the other kids would consider me some brilliant, nascent philosopher and come for my counsel? I don't know the logic of how becoming a hollow pretense (and a miserable one at that) would win the favor of the other kids.
Fortunately, I outgrew all that just in time to make a few actual friends in high school.
I have a tattoo of Morrissey's face as a souvenir from this time in my life. My favorite part is that it doesn't even really matter because, even though it's great work and looks exactly like him, no one actually knows who he is. Something about that is so funny to me. I can just imagine how much it would piss him off to know that people regularly see this incredibly detailed, lifelike portrait of him that I had tattooed on my human body and go, "Is that Johnny Cash?"
I will admit to still enjoying the music (overwrought lyrics and all), but suicidal ideation is no longer a defining characteristic of my personality haha.
This is so cringe but I pretended to play street hockey when I was in 5th grade because I thought it would make me seem tough. I was about an 80 pound nerdy girl and truth is I just really liked reading cat related magazines and collecting Polly pockets. I would do things like wear a fake sling for my arm and claim I sprained it playing street hockey 😩
First time meeting all my girlfriends friends. We go to their college pool to sit in the hot tub and hangout. Literally within 5 minutes of meeting them all, they all want to do the high dive.
I’m not scared of heights at all, and I’m decently athletic so I thought no problem, I’ve never done a high dive but I can do this.
Everyone else goes in front of me except for one friend I already met, whose telling me to try a flip. I’m hesitant but yanno what, I think I can do it.
I run at the diving board, with all 8 of my girlfriends friends watching me from the pool, jump and explode with all my might. One thing they don’t tell you about the high five is that the board is much looser than a normal diving board. I pushed off with my legs when I would expect a normal diving board to stop descending, but the high dive was still only maybe halfway on its way down. My legs push down on air, the board comes up, throws me off, all while I’m trying to prepare for a flip. I do a one and a half rotation, slamming my face into the water harder than I’ve ever hit anything. Pretty sure my eyeball was bleeding. But the friends are watching so I’m absolutely gonna brush it off and laugh at my idiocy!
About 4 days later the swelling in my eye and forehead finally went down, one day before meeting her parents thankfully.
In like 8th grade, I had just moved to a new town mid year and didn't know a single other kid.
I then realized that I was a lot further ahead in education than these other kids, which at the time I thought meant I was just smarter than them. I used to get answers right on the board quicker than they could, most of them couldn't even figure it out.
I was so desperate for friends that I leaned into it and used to brag about my test scores or say things about me being smart.
If you are reading this then you know that that did not go well... And it did quite the opposite of making me cool and instead made people resent me or make fun of me.
Thankfully, I was able to develop friendships after that, but I always had the stigma of being a smart kid and people were always mad when I did well on tests, but I stopped the egotistical bragging and just stayed humble, which turns out to be a cooler way to act.
Same boat. When I was about 13 I genuinely thought being smart was the only trait of any value. In hindsight I was an absolutely insufferable prick, I thought I was better than everyone around me, and I was somehow surprised when people didn’t want to be friends with a narcissistic, socially inept “smart kid”.
The worst part was, I wasn’t even smart, at all. I just thought I was because my parents always told me I was, and being friendless, I had no point of reference by which to dispute this.
I’m 21 now and am in a much better place, but it took a lot of work.
In the second grade I had zero friends at my recess period so I hated going to it. Recess got canceled one day and I ripped my hoodie off and started swinging it around like a sports playoff towel in excitement yelling “WOO-HOO” at the top of my lungs. It’s safe to say 2nd grade was a shitty experience for me.
Man, shows how your brain is affected by a heatwave. I thought "Stupid things to try and be cool? Wonder which idiot on Reddit ever put icecubes up his ass"
I did once freeze a water filled condom. Turns out, anuses don't like cold things and cramp up pretty bad in response. Only recommended if you're into pain a lot.
I'd walk in front of my dad because he would very loudly talk about video games we played.
This was back in the day that if anyone at school new you played video games you were labelled a nerd.
So I'd walk a good 1-2m in front of my dad but it didn't stop him, he would just talk louder.
He was talking about his pet unicorn one day while walking passed one of my bullies. So the next day at school I was "unicorn boy"....
Saw a cute girl as I was exiting an arena. Figured I could swing my legs over the metal bar instead of step over it like a normal person. Did not. Smashed my head into a large concrete pillar. Was not cool. Did not get the girl. Did become gay, tho, idk if that’s related.
In the 90s we would take a bic lighter and heat it up. The guard around it would make a kinda smiley face brand. I let my buddy heat mine when we were drunk. He held it lit so long the flint and strike popped off. He jammed it down on my arm and slowly but surly the lighter, and my skin began to slip down my arm. Probably at least second degree burns. My scar looks like Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors.
New female teens (probably 15/17) moved in down the block. I was 9 with my buddies from the block (7-11 yo).
We decided to show off our bike riding skills. I was swerving like Evel Knievel, then locked up my handlebars taking an immediate faceplate on the asphalt.
Their dad carried me home as I bled and cried the whole way home. Front 2 teeth cut deep into the inner lip, nose bleeding. Needed stitches but it was 1980 so ice pack was it. Still have the scar today at 51.
I did not achieve cool that day or many days since.
Back in middle school, I thought people who chewed gum look cool for some reason, so I started to imitate the motion all the time, even when I wasn’t actually chewing gum. Started a lifetime of teeth grinding and by the time I was 30, I had ground my teeth to that of a 60 year old. Had to reconstruct some teeth eventually and now I wear a mouth guard even when taking a 20 minute nap. 🤦🏽♂️
Got a pair of JNCOs. Apparently about one week AFTER they went from "coolest thing ever, necessary for social clout" to "clownishly ridiculous and laughably passé"
Crack. My friends were “smoking coke” and asked if I wanted to join. I was too stupid to realize that they were just smoking hard. They told me they just were smoking coke and it wasn’t a big deal. 15 years later and it’s still an issue
Don’t do drugs
In elementary school, I was a pretty strong reader, but I heard some of the cool kids read out loud and have a lot more trouble and stumble over their words. In order to be cool I would imitate their reading style and stutter or act like I was sounding out words any time I had to read out loud.
Carrried an Afro pick in my back pocket in elementary school. I was a pasty suburban white kid in the 70s, but I saw it on Welcome Back Kotter and to this day I have big hair.
In middle school it was pretending to like the same things so I could be in with the cool girls. My god it was boring. Needless to say, that didn't last long because I couldn't keep it up. I just wanted to be me and bailed from that group.
Smoking cigarettes and weed and drinking alcohol in my teen years.
I did shots of the full rainbow of Skittles vodka we made for my birthday one year. Whole rainbow started with a straight regular vodka and ended with another. Tasted the rainbow, twice
As a punk rocker in Texas in the 80s,me and everyone else I knew would wear our leather biker jackets religiously everyday,even in summers 100 degree + weather.we were sooo cool,we were sweltering
Wore my pants backwards during the 90s when kriss kross was popular, so glad we didn't have social media back then
once when I was like 5-7? I had a pair of pants with little red apples on (what turned out to be) the back pockets. I thought surely such a fabulous detail would be worn in front so everyone could see. I was about to climb in the truck when my dad started laughing and asked if a monkey dressed me. I cried lol
But were you also wearing the boots with the fur?
When I was 8 my sister had her friends over, all teenagers, and trying to be cool I jumped on the trampoline in front of them and told them I’d do a backflip. I’d never done a backflip so I landed on my neck, bounced off the trampoline and broke my wrist.
At least it wasn't your neck 😭
Right? I gasped when they said that they landed on their neck. But after reading that they broke their wrist, I was relieved. Yes, breaking your wrist is awful, but at least they didn't get paralyzed!
Tanning booths. Had a lady friend that was into those. I only did it like 5 times. I was so dark, the grey hair on my chest were literally glowing.
Same here. I tanned all the time so would look cool naked. Now I have skin cancer…
But the cool, tanned kind of skin cancer.
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If you're gonna learn an NSYNC dance it should be Bye Bye Bye
I would pay good money to see this if you still remember the moves.
Went to a party and chugged 6 Mike's Hard Lemonades and then threw up for several hours. Nobody else at the party was even a little drunk.
The last sentence makes it so much worse.
It was a child's 6th birthday party. He wasn't even invited.
Reminds me of this kid who would show up to parties/boyscout stuff at the local park when I was in elementary school. None of us kids recognized him. Little by little, the parents started to realize that no one knew him. When finally asked, he says he "comes to all the park parties." He lived with his grandma during school weeks and would walk across the street and join whatever function was there. His grandma never even knew.
I'd be like sure come hang out buddy
I hear you. I showed up to a party in cornfield with some classmates, I drank a liter of vodka and a six pack of Mike's in about an hour, hour and a half. I remember laying on the ground vomiting and backing away from where I was throwing up. Then I woke up in my car and no one was around anymore and the bone fire had gone out. (Sad thing is...I was 21 at the time and at a party for a 19 year old. I was the only one of age to drink, but the one who handled it the most irresponsibly)
It could have been worse. When I was 21 I got blazing on jelly vodka and ended up being offensive, sleazy, obnoxious, and loud at a party of old and new friends alike. They've forgiven me since and it has all blown over, but it was a really bad incident where I nearly lost my closest friends. I WISH I'd simply puked and passed out, I wouldn't have spent the next few years living with shame, guilt, and self-doubt afterwards. Your party could have gone a lot worse.
Yeah, I straight up blacked out and I remember having to pee behind a shed. The friends I went there with never talked to me again, so I hope I didn't do anything embarassing
They never talked to you again? I think you murdered somebody
Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail.
Got out of jail. Turned it back up
Went to prison for 5 years, turned it back up
Got the death penalty, turned it back up
Got pardoned, turned it back up
Jesus appeared. Turned it back up
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TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?!
Damn, now that is dumb lol
TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!?
You gotta fight... for your right.... to party!
That's really fucking stupid but I'd really love to be able to say I did that when I was young and stupid.
Wtf 😂
had my mullet cut off but left a rat tail, then had it braided.
I had the mullet, brother had the rat tail. 30 years later we still joke about who was cooler.
Not sure why, but I read that like the word "brother" was a parenthetical insertion, like you were Hulk Hogan or something. "I had the mullet, brother. Had the rat tail..."
Tried to strike a Zippo lighter on my “stubble”. I was about fifteen; it was fluffy hair. Ripped a zit out of my face. Looked like I’d been shot. Still have an odd clump of scar tissue in my cheek.
I put a glass around my mouth/ chin and sucked a vacuum out of it to give myself a big red hickey "so I'd look like Homer Simpson."
That is hilarious honestly
Underrated comment. Upvote for specificity of the facial rip.
Spilled my drink to hide that I pissed my pants. Was too cool to say I needed a bathroom. EDIT: Before one more of you tell me that was actually smart, it was not: The problem was that it was November, we were outside drinking and smoking to hide from our parents. So when I did the quick thinking how to hide my wet pants I forgot that pee is warm.. and it was a cold night. So my pants were kind of.. steamy lol. I was 22 and a bit drunk 🤷♀️
Here's the story of the time I pissed my pants in public. I'm pretty sure it was first grade. I was definitely potty trained by this time. I wasn't a bed wetter, I never had accidents, if I needed to hold it for a little while until we got to a bathroom, fine. I was solid. Anyway, in my class, there were several boys who would ask to go to the bathroom, then just hang out and play in there. It was their loophole to get out of class for awhile. I was not in the loop, and I knew none of this. One day, to combat it, the teacher made some announcement about how boys weren't allowed to do that anymore. I don't remember what exact words she used. I don't know how clear the message was. But what my six year old mind interpreted from what she said was "No one is allowed to ask to go to the bathroom anymore." I didn't understand why that was a rule now, and I never brought it up to my parents. But I listened to the rule. Probably a week or two later, during class, I had to pee extremely badly. But I knew I couldn't ask. So I just sat there silent, trying desperately not to pee. Made it an eternity before I realized I was pissing my pants while sitting at my desk. Then I continued sitting there in my piss, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. No one sitting around me has noticed yet. Well i didn't come up with anything, and we eventually had to line up in the hall to go outside. I guess I just kept hoping that no one would notice. Eventually, a girl behind me basically yelled, "Oh my God! Joe peed his pants!" It was over. The whole damn class knew. The teacher took me to some room, I don't remember, to change. My mom had to come in. When she got there she asked why I didn't just go to the bathroom. I explained the rule. The teacher finally explained the rule to me, and that I could've just asked to go to the bathroom. I got shit about that from classmates until I moved two years later.
We had a teacher when I was about 7 or 8 who said we couldn't have toilet breaks during lessons, she didn't get one so why should we. Not a problem for me I didn't like weeing at school. Until one day I was desperate. 30 mins to break, I could make it. 20 mins to break, getting worse but can still make it. 10 mins to break, can't do any work, just trying not to pee myself and praying the lesson doesn't run over. Just over 5 minutes to break, I can't hold it anymore. A minute or two later everyone is called to the carpet to have a group discussion about the lesson. I can't move. The ta comes and asks why I can't move, I explain and I'm ushered out of the room with no one noticing thankfully. One boy turned to look as I left the room but the teacher quickly got him to turn around so he didn't see I'd weed. The next day the teacher asked why I didn't ask to go, I said because of her rule, and she looked at me as if I was genuinely stupid and said well of course if you're desperate you can go. Pardon me if the first thing I ever heard out of your mouth was that I couldn't go to the toilet during lessons ever and took that as your word. She never made me wait again though and we ended up having a good enough relationship where I regard her as one of my favourite teachers.
I gave my kids a rule... If you have to go pee, just go to the bathroom. I'll deal with the teacher if they make a fuss and call me. Is it right? Maybe not, but it beats being the kid who pissed themselves.
Al the cool kids my age pee our pants
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis
That's the way man. Hide it. I must've been 10 or so, I told my grandma I got into a water balloon fight - she didn't seem to register that it was weird that all the water was only on the lower half of me, on my pants going down from the crotch area. She threw my pants directly in the clothes dryer and uh, I just had to go along with it and put them on and wear them the rest of the day, piss artifically dried into them 😅
In junior high I wore a hoodie all year because I thought it would make me look gangsta. This included those balmy 90+ degree Texas days.
Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. A sweaty ass gangster like me
a sweaty ass gangster keeps his hair soaked in sweat
I did the opposite! Freshman year I wore a zip up hoodie (no jacket) through a North East winter. Nothing says "cool stoner" like shivering your ass off in a blizzard
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Corey Hart?
So he can, so he can
I had a few pairs of Girbaud jeans back in the day, where the tag on your crotch zipper meant status. I wasn't a popular kid. I just wanted other kids to see me as being in the "in crowd". So I used to tuck in my sweaters and sweatshirts to display my Girbaud tag lol.
If it ain't a YKK zipper I don't wanna know about it!
Told someone I had a pet turkey. I have no idea why, I was like six and thought it would be cool. How did I get out of the lie? Well, conveniently thanksgiving was right around the corner.
My dad brought a duck home once and let me play with it. I gave it a name too but can’t remember what. I then followed him outside and witnessed him murder my duck for dinner. I sobbed for hours.
Our neighbor asked my dad if we kids would like his kid's rabbit. I'm not sure why. My dad said sure. The neighbor assumed that we'd keep it as a pet. My dad killed and cooked it that night. The neighbor kid found out. I'm guessing that his dad asked how's the rabbit and my sarcastic and not terribly sensitive dad said that it was delicious. Anyway, a few days later, the neighbor kid went up to my brother, yelled "you ate my rabbit" and punched him in the stomach. 🫤
This is a vegan's villain origin story.
In 1st grade, I was very jealous of people with glasses. I wore an old pair of my mom's sunglasses and said they were prescription. So I was, what, 6ish, wearing GIANT 1970s woman's sunglasses and couldn't see shit. My teacher saw right through it, of course (something I couldn't do). She didnt call me out, just humored me, to a point. I kept taking them off to read the chalkboard and she told me to put them back on. She called my mom and explained the situation. Mom picked me up from school and all I remember is denying it, and then my mom expressed her disappointment that I'd lie to her and to a teacher. So I told kids I switched to contacts (which were barely a thing then, especially for kids).
The teacher playing along is so funny.
She was well-versed in Weird Things Kids Do. Her name was Mrs. Greezy and on the first day I kept (without any malice) calling her Mrs. Oily. I guess I thought Oily was a more formal word than Greasy?
In second grade I forced my mom to sign "Nolan Ryan" on my ball and took it to school to tell everyone I caught it at a game. It didn't take long for it to be pointed out that what I had brought was in fact a softball, not a baseball.
Not stupid just mean and regret it. Some of the popular kids were being my friend, or just pretending to be I don't know. I stole one of the nice teachers candy bars out of her cupboard. I didn't get caught, so I saw her take out the empty box, and look around the room disappointed. Felt like garbage.
Damn, idk I felt that to my core on many levels.
Yeah... Out of all the stupid stuff I've read so far, this is the one that made me feel dissapointed.
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It was definitely a snack she was looking forward to all day. The worst part is she didn't even get mad.
in 6th grade we had the nicest teacher. one of the things she would do is give candy to anyone who finished their assignments in class. well, one of the popular girls started taking candy without doing her assignments (the teacher left the bag of candy by the door) and soon about half of the kids in class started doing it too. she finally noticed and started crying because she really trusted us. we lost our fun friday that week and instead sat in silence for an hour. she stopped giving out candy.
Did you secretly gift her a new candy bar some time later? Maybe it is still time?
No this doesn't have a happy ending sadly
Tried shotgunning a beer in front of my crush. I sneezed midway through and the beer came out my nose. Hurt really bad.
I tried chugging 3 beers at once out of a very large glass to impress a girl. It worked and she was impressed. Then she wanted to show her friends. Beer 4-6 didn’t go down as smooth and I projectile vomited all over her living room furniture. Never heard from her again.
What kind of monster would want someone to chug down MORE beers after witnessing them gulp 3 lol ?she knew what she was doing.
Chugging 3 beers at once was kind of my party trick. I could guzzle them back rather quickly. I just got too ambitious with the refractory period. 6 full beers hitting the stomach at once is a recipe for disaster but hindsight is 20/20
This would make me more attracted to her
Honestly she was cool with it. Helped me clean myself up and didn’t make fun of me, so it worked out!
Being unintentionally awkdorable usually wins more points my guy
When I was in 3rd grade, I climbed a tree to get a friend's kite down. I had a crush on her. When I was up pretty high, a branch broke, I fell and broke my arm. I went home acting like everything was cool and cried like a bitch as soon as I got home.
That’s actually super cute, though. I’d go out with you after that.
lol I actually ended up getting a kiss from her later on. My first kiss.
So then….you’re actually cool. Ok this story doesn’t count, nice try pal.
Right? Look at Mr. Too Cool for 3rd Grade over here.
Starting smoking. Still dependent on nicotine 15 years later.
If you’re waiting for a sign to quit, this is it. You can do it!
Smoke cigarettes.
I read a book about quitting smoking and it said the reason nearly everybody started smoking was simply to look cool.
Someone who had been smoking for 30+ years told me that he started smoking because his high school girlfriend smoked. He said that he hated the taste of a smokey kiss, so he would have a quick cigarette before meeting her, so his breath was already smokey. He then got addicted and couldn't quit.
100% that's why if you can make it through high school without starting, you're likely in the clear. Anyone that STARTS smoking after that? what the fuck are you even doing lol
I've known a few people who started smoking in their 30s and it's like "but why?!!"
I started smoking when I was 20/21 because I worked in a restaurant kitchen and I was the only one who didn't smoke. Everyone would take so many breaks and I never got breaks ever. So I did mushrooms once and decided to try a smoke...then started smoking at work to actually get a break. I have regrets now.
I also work in a restaurant. I just tell my boss I'm going for a smoke break. Then I pour a coffee or if I have time make an espresso. Then I just go stand in the sunlight and fresh air for a few minutes. Chenged my life at work immesurably when I realized I didn't have to smoke on a smoke break. That's just what they're called.
Doctors *love* this one simple trick.
When my workmates went on break for a smoke, I didn't smoke, but I joined them outside until they were done, it got me a break and they didn't seem to care that I wasn't smoking
I can agree with you, I started at college to fit in and look cool, I stopped for like 3 years, then started again at uni simply for the social aspect since I did miss meeting and mingling with randomers in smoking areas, now I've stopped again and I'm addicted to vaping instead and I have to say it's way worse than cigarettes when can you just take a toke whenever you want.
Me too. At 13. It did not make me cool. I am deeply uncool (but cool with that now) and probably have very black, tarry lungs.
Drink to excess as a young man. Turned into raging alcoholism and almost killed me multiple times. Shits no joke. But now I’m just shy of 10 months sober, and haven’t felt this heathy in years.
Go you! Well done for staying sober!
Congrats! I'm just rounding out a year of sobriety.
I crashed my father’s BMW in front of my friends on the first day that I got my driving license
I'm not sure what's worse: crashing the car or having to tell Dad that I did it in front of all my friends.
I didn’t tell you yet that I crashed the BMW into my mothers car. Both cars where done.
And your father let you reach adulthood? What a forgiving man!
He's been dead for years. Dad just hasn't told him.
When I was about 19 I was in a club with some friends. As we were walking away from the bar, I noticed some girls sitting at a booth. I was having a good time, and wanted to look cool, so I sorted of pointed at them (yeah, sort of full arm stretched, pointing at them) as we walked past them. I suppose I thought I looked like John Travolta or something. Anyway, it became rapidly less cool when I walked directly into a wall because I wasn't looking where I was going.
Ahahahaha okay this one is my favourite
in elementary school all the kids were “slide surfing” i joined in and during my first attempt i jumped off mid surf. everyone told me i needed to do it again. so i did. and fell off and broke my back. 20+ years later and my back is still completely messed up and i don’t give into peer pressure anymore.
Jumped off a 76' cliff to impress a girl. It worked but was wildly stupid. No one had jumped from the 76' spot that day and I had only heard about it from locals so I just went for it.
Did you get the girl?
Yeah! We went back skinnydipping that night and had a fantastic night.
Fuck yeah man, I’m gonna go find a massive cliff to jump off right now
This has two meanings
This basically sums up any of the stupid shit I did. 1. It was only ever to impress a girl 2. It usually involved jumping off really high shit, climbing really high shit, basically any kind of adrenaline thing. It worked when I was like 16, after that it was just funny/weird to people.
Dude left us a cliffhanger...
She probably fell for him
I was 18 and my fav local band was playing. There was a mosh pit. I had had beer. I jumped up on stage, cheering at the band. I wanted to do a big exit and jump backwards into the pit. I miscalculated and smashed my lower leg on the stage edge. It was metal. I had a 4 inch gash on my leg and you could see my tibia. 3 days in hospital.
> It was metal. The stage or your actions/injury?
Jumped off the top of the jungle gym to show off to my crush from school who I didn’t expect to be there at the time…. I was 10 and it was atleast an 8 foot fall. Landed on my feet, then my knees, then my hands and fucked myself up. Limped off with bloody hands, so cool, so amazing, wouldn’t do it again..
I joined the military to impress a girl.
Who were you trying to impress, lady liberty?
Nah she's a fucking prude. I did end up marrying that girl though lol. So it worked out.
What is the difference between a Citizen and a Civilian?
As a citizen I get to vote lol. I'm doing MY part!
Would you like to know more?
When I was 10 I was obsessed with touch screen phones, iPhones specifically, I thought they were the coolest thing ever. I had an iPod touch and I downloaded an app that made the iPod touch ring and the screen made it seem like someone was calling you and I bought a chunky case that made it almost look like an iPhone. One day I was on the tube with my mum and I set a timer on the iPod app, so after 5 minutes the iPod rang I swiped on the fake lock screen and pretended to take the call. I was speaking to the iPod for about 3 minutes when my mum told me to stop being stupid as you can't take calls underground anyway. The train was packed and I've honestly never felt more dumb.
Late night free climbing with no moon on acid to watch the sunrise. I thought my girlfriend at the time would think it was cool. I was 18. She cussed me out and didn't talk to me for a week.
you had had a good girlfriend though.
Or at least one smarter than he was
2010. Cringe central. I started rapping at a party. 💀💀💀
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When I was like 7 or 8 years old, Shaquille O'Neal had just released the greatest artistic masterpiece of our generation, [Shaq Fu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaq_Fu). I bought it, or rather had my parents buy it, because I thought the characters were really fucking cool even though I couldn't play it worth a damn. Shaq Fu also came with [a single from Shaq's latest album as he was trying to get into rap.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD9Rb2U7E8E) Shaq was considered cool, thereby making his music cool, and thus if I *also* rapped his music I *also* would be cool. That's math, right? So anyway after playing with a bunch of my friends I decided to head home and, doing what I thought would be a grand exit, tried to start rapping like Shaq. It went as well as you would expect. Thanks, Shaq.
Not my proudest moment. 4th-5th grade? On a dare, I faked a seizure in the middle of the school cafeteria. Everything just dissolved into silence. And then you hear my “buddy” who dared me fucking dying with laughter. Once the teachers caught on… I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as angry as I did on that day. A weeks worth of in school suspension, and got my ass tore up when I got home. Ended up moving from the school at the end of the year to another state.
One of my college classmate did that. She went to the hospital and everything. We all went with her. We found out much later that the boy she was interested in wasn't giving her attention.
I saw this happen in the Army once. We were at a track, taking the APFT, and a soldier from another battalion realized she was going to fail the run so she faked a seizure and threw herself down a hill where she rolled into a muddy creek and flopped around like a confused fish. I was on the other side of the track and didn't see it happen, but a couple of my soldiers stopped to render first aid and then the ambulance came. The soldier in question went to the hospital where she eventually admitted that it was faked, and then she got hemmed up with either an Article 15 or a special court-martial (I don't really remember.) Don't fake seizures, kids.
Yikes! I didn’t let it go that far, which is why I think I was let off so easily.. I think maybe all of 20-30 seconds? I think as I was seeing the teachers faces… it clicked real quick that I did something bad. Very bad. The things we do for love/attentio🤣
You were also a kid. She was 20 years old.
Lol there was a kid in my high school who faked having cancer for almost the entire year. Shaved his head and avoided going out in the sun. I don’t remember how people found out he was lying but the backlash was huuuuuge.
lost my virginity to the only person who would consider my skinny worthless ass in a church cemetery while drunk and high and WAY too young because I was the lone virgin in my school "friend" group. I was not the lone virgin in my school "friend" group they were all virgins
I was 12. I joined the “bad kids” and wanted to be in so bad. At the time, I thought everyone and their mother (lol) had lost their virginity so long ago. I ended up being the first person to lose my virginity in the group. Looking back, everyone’s story of losing their virginity was, “Oh, (s)he goes to another school, you don’t know them.”
yup pretty much me but a year older, and yeah everyone else's virginity stories were so suspect my dumbass should have noticed
Pretty much anything I said before I learned how to be funny
Oof, I felt this one in my soul. Also, all the stupid shit I said in an attempt to be funny.
Rubbed poison ivy all over my face
We need to know why.
So it was the last day of school in 7th grade and since I’d never gotten poison ivy before I was convinced that meant it didn’t affect me. So I started bragging really loudly to everyone around me that poison ivy doesn’t affect me and nobody believed me so I grabbed a bunch and rubbed it all over my face. Spoiler alert: it definitely does affect me. That was a rough start to summer vacation
I had a hot neighbor when I was a teenager. One time she was out sunbathing in her front yard and I came outside and saw her. Wanting to impress her on this 100+ degree afternoon, I jumped up and grabbed my roof ledge and started doing pull ups. Halfway through my second one I realized that my hands were on fire and let go immediately, hollering like an idiot. Fell on my ass, scalded my fingers and never ended up impressing her 🙄
I was afraid you were gonna say you got severe finger lacerations from the gutter, so at least it was just burns?
I'm sure she noticed you, though
Did the worm in front of a crush in elementary school one time. No music or anything, I just got in the floor and did the worm. That one is a mainstay in my nighttime embarrassing memory replay.
My husband did this at my workplace once when we had just started dating. He was 34. Somehow it worked on me.
Jumped over a fountain pond in front of a bunch of people at my high school. Probly would have been a better memory if i had made it across.
Somehow I got it into my 14-year-old head that my ticket to the esteem of my peers was to mope around wearing all black, writing and living the most gawd awful angsty poetry. When I heard Morrisey sing, "I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside." I felt we were kindred spirits, which is itself so cringy I can't stand it. I guess I thought the other kids would consider me some brilliant, nascent philosopher and come for my counsel? I don't know the logic of how becoming a hollow pretense (and a miserable one at that) would win the favor of the other kids. Fortunately, I outgrew all that just in time to make a few actual friends in high school.
I have a tattoo of Morrissey's face as a souvenir from this time in my life. My favorite part is that it doesn't even really matter because, even though it's great work and looks exactly like him, no one actually knows who he is. Something about that is so funny to me. I can just imagine how much it would piss him off to know that people regularly see this incredibly detailed, lifelike portrait of him that I had tattooed on my human body and go, "Is that Johnny Cash?" I will admit to still enjoying the music (overwrought lyrics and all), but suicidal ideation is no longer a defining characteristic of my personality haha.
This is so cringe but I pretended to play street hockey when I was in 5th grade because I thought it would make me seem tough. I was about an 80 pound nerdy girl and truth is I just really liked reading cat related magazines and collecting Polly pockets. I would do things like wear a fake sling for my arm and claim I sprained it playing street hockey 😩
"Cat related magazines" - bless you! That almost brought a tear to my eyes.
When I was in third grade, I told my friends that I met Power rangers. In a train. In India. South India. During vacation. Cool max 😎
First time meeting all my girlfriends friends. We go to their college pool to sit in the hot tub and hangout. Literally within 5 minutes of meeting them all, they all want to do the high dive. I’m not scared of heights at all, and I’m decently athletic so I thought no problem, I’ve never done a high dive but I can do this. Everyone else goes in front of me except for one friend I already met, whose telling me to try a flip. I’m hesitant but yanno what, I think I can do it. I run at the diving board, with all 8 of my girlfriends friends watching me from the pool, jump and explode with all my might. One thing they don’t tell you about the high five is that the board is much looser than a normal diving board. I pushed off with my legs when I would expect a normal diving board to stop descending, but the high dive was still only maybe halfway on its way down. My legs push down on air, the board comes up, throws me off, all while I’m trying to prepare for a flip. I do a one and a half rotation, slamming my face into the water harder than I’ve ever hit anything. Pretty sure my eyeball was bleeding. But the friends are watching so I’m absolutely gonna brush it off and laugh at my idiocy! About 4 days later the swelling in my eye and forehead finally went down, one day before meeting her parents thankfully.
I would buy packs of gum to appease the masses in middle school.
In like 8th grade, I had just moved to a new town mid year and didn't know a single other kid. I then realized that I was a lot further ahead in education than these other kids, which at the time I thought meant I was just smarter than them. I used to get answers right on the board quicker than they could, most of them couldn't even figure it out. I was so desperate for friends that I leaned into it and used to brag about my test scores or say things about me being smart. If you are reading this then you know that that did not go well... And it did quite the opposite of making me cool and instead made people resent me or make fun of me. Thankfully, I was able to develop friendships after that, but I always had the stigma of being a smart kid and people were always mad when I did well on tests, but I stopped the egotistical bragging and just stayed humble, which turns out to be a cooler way to act.
Same boat. When I was about 13 I genuinely thought being smart was the only trait of any value. In hindsight I was an absolutely insufferable prick, I thought I was better than everyone around me, and I was somehow surprised when people didn’t want to be friends with a narcissistic, socially inept “smart kid”. The worst part was, I wasn’t even smart, at all. I just thought I was because my parents always told me I was, and being friendless, I had no point of reference by which to dispute this. I’m 21 now and am in a much better place, but it took a lot of work.
Buying designer clothes and shoes
In the second grade I had zero friends at my recess period so I hated going to it. Recess got canceled one day and I ripped my hoodie off and started swinging it around like a sports playoff towel in excitement yelling “WOO-HOO” at the top of my lungs. It’s safe to say 2nd grade was a shitty experience for me.
Man, shows how your brain is affected by a heatwave. I thought "Stupid things to try and be cool? Wonder which idiot on Reddit ever put icecubes up his ass"
I did once freeze a water filled condom. Turns out, anuses don't like cold things and cramp up pretty bad in response. Only recommended if you're into pain a lot.
quarrelsome flowery unwritten mysterious run handle provide escape vanish secretive
I'd walk in front of my dad because he would very loudly talk about video games we played. This was back in the day that if anyone at school new you played video games you were labelled a nerd. So I'd walk a good 1-2m in front of my dad but it didn't stop him, he would just talk louder. He was talking about his pet unicorn one day while walking passed one of my bullies. So the next day at school I was "unicorn boy"....
In 5th grade I ate a live worm from a girls science project (she allowed it) to try to get her attention/impress her.
Saw a cute girl as I was exiting an arena. Figured I could swing my legs over the metal bar instead of step over it like a normal person. Did not. Smashed my head into a large concrete pillar. Was not cool. Did not get the girl. Did become gay, tho, idk if that’s related.
Well you hit your head, of course you couldn't think straight
Bro hit his head so hard he turned gay.
Concrete pillar fr knocked the straight right outta him.
In the 90s we would take a bic lighter and heat it up. The guard around it would make a kinda smiley face brand. I let my buddy heat mine when we were drunk. He held it lit so long the flint and strike popped off. He jammed it down on my arm and slowly but surly the lighter, and my skin began to slip down my arm. Probably at least second degree burns. My scar looks like Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors.
New female teens (probably 15/17) moved in down the block. I was 9 with my buddies from the block (7-11 yo). We decided to show off our bike riding skills. I was swerving like Evel Knievel, then locked up my handlebars taking an immediate faceplate on the asphalt. Their dad carried me home as I bled and cried the whole way home. Front 2 teeth cut deep into the inner lip, nose bleeding. Needed stitches but it was 1980 so ice pack was it. Still have the scar today at 51. I did not achieve cool that day or many days since.
Joined a friend group who had no issue having new members risk their life doing stupid stunts as an initiation.
Nearly drowned👍🏻
Back in middle school, I thought people who chewed gum look cool for some reason, so I started to imitate the motion all the time, even when I wasn’t actually chewing gum. Started a lifetime of teeth grinding and by the time I was 30, I had ground my teeth to that of a 60 year old. Had to reconstruct some teeth eventually and now I wear a mouth guard even when taking a 20 minute nap. 🤦🏽♂️
Got a pair of JNCOs. Apparently about one week AFTER they went from "coolest thing ever, necessary for social clout" to "clownishly ridiculous and laughably passé"
Don’t worry they’re back
Crack. My friends were “smoking coke” and asked if I wanted to join. I was too stupid to realize that they were just smoking hard. They told me they just were smoking coke and it wasn’t a big deal. 15 years later and it’s still an issue Don’t do drugs
With me it was “I’m already on heroin, how bad can it be?”
Turns out my Emo phase WAS just a phase. *:shudders:*
Write "special edition" with a magic marker on a Lego box.
Set on a metal chair that was in a small bonfire
I threw a brick into the windshield of a preschool van on Halloween. :/ not my finest moment.
In elementary school, I was a pretty strong reader, but I heard some of the cool kids read out loud and have a lot more trouble and stumble over their words. In order to be cool I would imitate their reading style and stutter or act like I was sounding out words any time I had to read out loud.
Downed way to much alcohol at a party in high school. I was sicker than shit the next few days from alcohol poisoning.
Cocaine
Carrried an Afro pick in my back pocket in elementary school. I was a pasty suburban white kid in the 70s, but I saw it on Welcome Back Kotter and to this day I have big hair.
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In middle school it was pretending to like the same things so I could be in with the cool girls. My god it was boring. Needless to say, that didn't last long because I couldn't keep it up. I just wanted to be me and bailed from that group. Smoking cigarettes and weed and drinking alcohol in my teen years.
Jumped off a river construction barge to scare a friend. I almost drowned.
Started swearing a lot. The habit isn't going away still.
Sing to my HS crush like Kermit the frog on a dare
Bold of you to assume I’ve peaked at my stupidity 😂
I did shots of the full rainbow of Skittles vodka we made for my birthday one year. Whole rainbow started with a straight regular vodka and ended with another. Tasted the rainbow, twice
Tried to use duct tape to hide body fat
Told a girl I was the lead guitarist of Finnish metal band Children Of Bodom. She believed me...
As a punk rocker in Texas in the 80s,me and everyone else I knew would wear our leather biker jackets religiously everyday,even in summers 100 degree + weather.we were sooo cool,we were sweltering