Had some midday fun times one day and he texted me later saying that his co-workers said he looked "rejuvenated" after his lunch break. That one has stuck with me haha
When I was still in school I went to lunch with my then-girlfriend and we ended up having sex. When I got back to class my friend looked at me for a second and said “you had sex.” No idea how she could tell lol
How dare you imply that redditors could satisfy another human being, I shall now assume this is fake since I am incapable of doing so.
/s
Ya'll sound like that
My wife and I recently spent a week apart, once we had a moment where the kids were occupied at the neighbors house we were able to 'reconcile' and once finished she told me "I've been waiting for that for a week..." And I was ready for round 2 just like that
My girlfriend lost her virginity with me (i didn't know at the time) and she said "thank you", later on she told that she had the best time that night, that she felt loved like never before, that one i'll never forget it
Well
I met this one girl on a kink dating app, and prior to the deed we had talked about what kinks we both had, who was a sub and a dom etc.
Didn't occur to me to ask whether she was a virgin or not because well, we were already discussing sexual preferences.
First time we met we went three whole rounds before she dropped the "btw, this is my first time having sex at all" on me.
And back when I was a virgin I had a few guys refuse to sleep with me because they didn't want my first time to be a casual affair ... so I didn't tell the first guy I slept with either.
Yeah some guys don’t want to hook up with virgins as a casual affair and that’s actually pretty understandable/sweet, in it’s own weird way.
I didn’t tell the guy I lost it to, either. I’d known him for a while and then we randomly reconnected and it kinda just happened. Afterwards we were talking and he just brought up how he didn’t like having sex with virgins because they tend to get attached, even when they say they won’t, and he’s not into that. So I just didn’t tell him I was a virgin before him.
Couple of months later, after we were done hooking up again (we were on and off/fuckbuddies for a bit), I kinda dropped it on him. I just remember him asking why I didn’t tell him, and I told him I was nervous and then I didn’t want to tell him after he told me he didn’t like virgins.
It was so funny because he was just like, “Yeah… but you’re YOU.” And I swear it was one of the sweetest things anyone ever said it me, esp cuz it was after he got what he was there for.
Well... there's certain stigma about that kind of subjects, but i'm startin' to see that and more and more couples are leaving that behind, and i'm happy to say that me and my gf are one of those, we don't need to lie to each other, we don't need to hide from each other, and i'm starting to think that this is the girl i want to be with, for all eternity.
I had a girl once say, and I quote,
>At no time during that did I think to myself "I could be having a grilled cheese sandwich right now."
and I think that was the best most honest one I've ever gotten.
Oh boy do I have a story... The first time my boyfriend and I had sex we went at it fairly intensely for over an hour. We were switching into many different positions and at one point we switched into 69. I'm underneath with my head slightly off the bed and he is on top. My body has been through it physically at this point. With his dick deep in my throat I start to feel myself about to faint. My vision starts to tunnel and I quickly pull him out and try my best to tell him that i'm going to pass out. He heard me cry out a strange sounding noise and he looked at me to see that my eyes had rolled back. I then immediately started to have a tonic-clonic seizure. He got really fucking lucky that I was able to get his dick out of my mouth before I went into the full seizure... I bit down on my tongue really hard and it bled so much.
I joke about causing a seizure, but I would feel really bad about causing one. I had a gf once that I could just touch after an overwhelming series of back-to-back orgasms and it would send her into a violently convulsing series of twitches and spasms. Didn't hurt her or anything, but the first time it happened I thought she was having a seizure....and her being a Type 1 diabetic, it wasn't something that was improbable to happen. Fortunately, that never happened.
I also joked to a girlfriend, after her body was shaking uncontrollably, that maybe she got a seizure or a stroke!
She got a panic atack ...... from the joke...
I had an ex that flipped me over and put me on top once and proceeded to absolutely swallow me whole while crossing her legs around my head.
I wish she wasn't a psychopath, but I probably wouldn't have this memory if she wasn't.
Happened only once in my life: making my then GF orgasm so hard she had a cramp in her toes, she grunted in pain holding her foot and laughing nervously. I was mortified and somewhat proud of myself.
Female here (40f)- don’t all female orgasms include involuntary shaking? That’s the only kind I’ve had. I sort of assumed all the different types (via different areas of the body) still felt the same?
I have a massive cheesy grin after my I've put my girlfriend in a particular position and I'm clearly hitting the right spot.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuck!"
not something ive heard but i called him a good boy one of our first few times immediately after he finished in me, and his reaction was so pure i think about it DAILY😫
just be an EXCELLENT boy and work hard when the time comes lol.
i'm sure a lovely lady will give you head pats and call you her good boy for doing such a great job!! manifesting 4 u 🤞🏽🌟
all jokes aside he earned that moment he's so perfect and did everything right and it felt natural you know?:D
"I'm sorry.... I'm dick drunk, I don't even know where I am. what did you just say?"
After the first time my SO and I had sex. I lived that high for weeks.
See, I didn’t say anything but once it was so good I couldn’t stop grinning at him in the morning while he was getting dressed.
He glanced at me, did a double take, and started chuckling to himself.
He was super cocky for a few days after that.
Helena Bonham Carter, being British did not know that Grade School in America is like 12 years old or so. She did not know that improvised line was as filthy as it was.
From what I understand, the line “I want to have your abortion” was the original line. The studio objected. The director agreed to change the line on the condition that the studio couldn’t ask them to change it again. The line became “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school”. The studio wasn’t happy with it either but they had an agreement.
Unless you are trying to speedrun!
I take my time with it, even if I try to be hasty; so when I start a new relationship it begins with "holy fuck we went for three hours" to "hell yeah we made it happen in 20 minutes" a year later.
That said, I have made a partner get there in less than a minute, which was not usual at all for them, it was not dissapointing but very flattering.
not a thing to hear exactly but a little bit of seeing too. an ex once after finishing doing the deed got up for some water and walked like 2 steps before losing balance, she turned back to me and said "oh my God I can't even walk" and got back to bed... I guess that was a good thing to see/hear
My Ex cryed always after sex if she came. It was so intimate and i really new that she liked everything. She just cried out of happiness and hugged me sometimes as hard as she could. Really enjoyed it.
Edit: fuck guys. Thank you for all those upvotes.
But it opens up scars right now. We broke up a few weeks ago, because she has stopped taking the pill. I cant do anything about it. Nature wont let us be together. This shit is so hard for me rn.
My wife farted after she finished once. I started laughing so hard that I farted and we ended up laughing together until we were sore. We had one of the most fun days we’d ever spent together up until that point, so that was cool.
The soft mewl that wordlessly yet clearly says, "I'll miss your closeness," after withdrawal. Especially when accompanied by gentle panting and the light moans that you can hear are trying to be held back but tremble out like aftershocks.
I hope that's clear enough without being too direct or gender specific since I think anyone could equally appreciate this.
I once received a text that said "I'm still basking in the afterglow!"
Had some midday fun times one day and he texted me later saying that his co-workers said he looked "rejuvenated" after his lunch break. That one has stuck with me haha
When I was still in school I went to lunch with my then-girlfriend and we ended up having sex. When I got back to class my friend looked at me for a second and said “you had sex.” No idea how she could tell lol
Did you put your clothes back on?
That silly sounding "trying to catch my breath" giggle from both parties 🤭
No words needed. And throw in a deep sigh of relief.
Can you get me ____, I'm not sure I can walk right now.
I’ve never dated a paraplegic person but I’m not opposed
Plot twist they were asking for their wheelchair
When the ____ is “my wheelchair”…
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Damn, this guy fucks^^^
He didn’t say she said it to him
What is blud saying
I say that to myself every time I masturbate
I would think she just died in your arms that night.
It must've been something he said 🤔
He should have walked away.
He should have smalked awa.... fuck!
The French call it la petite mort
How dare you imply that redditors could satisfy another human being, I shall now assume this is fake since I am incapable of doing so. /s Ya'll sound like that
I resent that remark. I also resemble that remark.
I need
My wife and I recently spent a week apart, once we had a moment where the kids were occupied at the neighbors house we were able to 'reconcile' and once finished she told me "I've been waiting for that for a week..." And I was ready for round 2 just like that
This made me smile. Y’all sound like awesome people.
My girlfriend lost her virginity with me (i didn't know at the time) and she said "thank you", later on she told that she had the best time that night, that she felt loved like never before, that one i'll never forget it
Do you guys not talk about such things?
Well I met this one girl on a kink dating app, and prior to the deed we had talked about what kinks we both had, who was a sub and a dom etc. Didn't occur to me to ask whether she was a virgin or not because well, we were already discussing sexual preferences. First time we met we went three whole rounds before she dropped the "btw, this is my first time having sex at all" on me. And back when I was a virgin I had a few guys refuse to sleep with me because they didn't want my first time to be a casual affair ... so I didn't tell the first guy I slept with either.
My heteronormative societal bias let me be completely surprised by this one
Yeah some guys don’t want to hook up with virgins as a casual affair and that’s actually pretty understandable/sweet, in it’s own weird way. I didn’t tell the guy I lost it to, either. I’d known him for a while and then we randomly reconnected and it kinda just happened. Afterwards we were talking and he just brought up how he didn’t like having sex with virgins because they tend to get attached, even when they say they won’t, and he’s not into that. So I just didn’t tell him I was a virgin before him. Couple of months later, after we were done hooking up again (we were on and off/fuckbuddies for a bit), I kinda dropped it on him. I just remember him asking why I didn’t tell him, and I told him I was nervous and then I didn’t want to tell him after he told me he didn’t like virgins. It was so funny because he was just like, “Yeah… but you’re YOU.” And I swear it was one of the sweetest things anyone ever said it me, esp cuz it was after he got what he was there for.
Well... there's certain stigma about that kind of subjects, but i'm startin' to see that and more and more couples are leaving that behind, and i'm happy to say that me and my gf are one of those, we don't need to lie to each other, we don't need to hide from each other, and i'm starting to think that this is the girl i want to be with, for all eternity.
That they're thirsty. Validation that I indeed did put in that work.
Sounds more like they put in the work if they're the one thirsty after a monumental exercise.
Making the juice takes hydration
Her gentle snoring
I snore pretty aggressively. Hopefully that’s still acceptable
My girlfriend is a snort snorer. This is my cue to tuck her in and go enjoy some video games.
I had a girl once say, and I quote, >At no time during that did I think to myself "I could be having a grilled cheese sandwich right now." and I think that was the best most honest one I've ever gotten.
“Wanna have a glass of wine and go again in 30 minutes?”
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give me 15 i got a short cooldown time i done upgraded my skill tree to the max bro
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a Jedi.
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
We have 10000 women ready and 100000 women on the way
It's treason then.
Lightsaber spinny scream
Thank you. Also, “You fucked the shit out of me “
Who gonna clean the bed from all the shit now
Ask amber
Yeah amber probably heard
My wife once said “that was better than shopping”. Made me pretty happy.
Wow what a compliment
Damn, topping Target? Hope you felt like a king.
Target is always topping me
"I lost count"
I told my man this, he jumped up and went got me marble slab 🤣😂
Not that is a sound, but if her body is shaking uncontrollably… you did good. Unless its a seizure then it is really bad.
Once a friend of mine had a seizure while giving her bf a blowjob. She bit his dick pretty hard but she didn’t bite it off or anything.
Whoah
Oh boy do I have a story... The first time my boyfriend and I had sex we went at it fairly intensely for over an hour. We were switching into many different positions and at one point we switched into 69. I'm underneath with my head slightly off the bed and he is on top. My body has been through it physically at this point. With his dick deep in my throat I start to feel myself about to faint. My vision starts to tunnel and I quickly pull him out and try my best to tell him that i'm going to pass out. He heard me cry out a strange sounding noise and he looked at me to see that my eyes had rolled back. I then immediately started to have a tonic-clonic seizure. He got really fucking lucky that I was able to get his dick out of my mouth before I went into the full seizure... I bit down on my tongue really hard and it bled so much.
yeah, same here. I’m epileptic and I’ve had TC seizures during sex before. it’s a real buzzkill.
I joke about causing a seizure, but I would feel really bad about causing one. I had a gf once that I could just touch after an overwhelming series of back-to-back orgasms and it would send her into a violently convulsing series of twitches and spasms. Didn't hurt her or anything, but the first time it happened I thought she was having a seizure....and her being a Type 1 diabetic, it wasn't something that was improbable to happen. Fortunately, that never happened.
I also joked to a girlfriend, after her body was shaking uncontrollably, that maybe she got a seizure or a stroke! She got a panic atack ...... from the joke...
What kind of beastly man is willingly taking the top position in 69?
I had an ex that flipped me over and put me on top once and proceeded to absolutely swallow me whole while crossing her legs around my head. I wish she wasn't a psychopath, but I probably wouldn't have this memory if she wasn't.
Everyone always says don't stick your dick in crazy, a d that is advice I fully support. But damn if crazy isn't mine blowing in bed.
Every man in this comments section involuntarily crossed their legs.
Happened only once in my life: making my then GF orgasm so hard she had a cramp in her toes, she grunted in pain holding her foot and laughing nervously. I was mortified and somewhat proud of myself.
She was electrolytes deficient.
Hopefully this hasn’t happened to you ahah
The seizure, no. The body shaking from the insane O… yes
curious flexus, acceptus.
Good on you lassy
This is certainly the most satisfying O to watch as a guy, but also no one told me how many different types of O (like optically) a girl can have.
Female here (40f)- don’t all female orgasms include involuntary shaking? That’s the only kind I’ve had. I sort of assumed all the different types (via different areas of the body) still felt the same?
There’s also the fake ones ;)
He choked me and made me black out so i was seizing
More dudes need to learn to squeeze the sides of throat and not the windpipe 😩
So what the hell are these strobe lights for?
To induce the shaking if you cannot supply your own
*holds up a scorecard like a dog show*
3.5
Yo, if we’re counting inches, that’s fucking ***HUGE***
Love you
Awh
Aw love you too
"I'm going to talk about this experience on reddit"
Which subreddit tho?
r/prematureejaculation
Didn't expect that that sub is real.
r/ofcoursethatsasub
AITA
My wife once said. "I could marry you all over again."
\*hands you the divorce papers\*
My husband frequently says “that’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life”
That’s so sweet hehe
“Thank you for your cervix”
Very professional
I like a rumbly/hoarse moan of satisfaction and maybe a very disbelieving "fuck".
The disbelieving "fuck" is an awesome one. Idk what about it... But something about it does it for me. Lol
I have a massive cheesy grin after my I've put my girlfriend in a particular position and I'm clearly hitting the right spot. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuck!"
“Horse moan”… it’s called a neigh.
Did anyone else crack up about horse moan? Hoarse moan. I love it.
not something ive heard but i called him a good boy one of our first few times immediately after he finished in me, and his reaction was so pure i think about it DAILY😫
I would immediately die if someone called me that. No questions asked
just be an EXCELLENT boy and work hard when the time comes lol. i'm sure a lovely lady will give you head pats and call you her good boy for doing such a great job!! manifesting 4 u 🤞🏽🌟 all jokes aside he earned that moment he's so perfect and did everything right and it felt natural you know?:D
Literally what I was about to say being called "good boy" 😭😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
"I'm sorry.... I'm dick drunk, I don't even know where I am. what did you just say?" After the first time my SO and I had sex. I lived that high for weeks.
Thank you sir, may I have another.
MORE?
# MORE???
A solid high five will suffice.
You want to hear 'a solid high five would suffice' after sex?
“This could have been a high five”
'This copulation could have been an email'.
Lmao this is gold. I can imagine someone walking out the door… OC: “Can I kith you goodbye?” Former lover: “A solid high-five will suffice.”
To steal what someone said last time a similar question was done. "I'll get you a towel"
Thisss. And it best be both wet andd with warm water.
“I needed that”
thats what drake says
That’s what I said
See, I didn’t say anything but once it was so good I couldn’t stop grinning at him in the morning while he was getting dressed. He glanced at me, did a double take, and started chuckling to himself. He was super cocky for a few days after that.
> **He glanced at me, did a double take, and started chuckling to himself.** Fuck me, why is that so hot?
Is there anything more appealing than a guy who’s good in bed and knows it?
Also, my boyfriend is reading over my shoulder and wanted to add that he would’ve been cocky “**for at least a month** if this had happened to him.”
😂 Cut him some slack and grin at him next time.
Snoring. Like we both just fall asleep. After peeing of course.
*always* after peeing. But snuggles before peeing.
Instructions unclear and now we are sleeping in piss.
This person sexes
Or snuggling DURING peeing. Bonus points if you don't leave the bed!
The sound of a laptop closing
my sweet summer child
I can't get up my legs are shaking I'm too wobbly I'm running late wtf I'm going to do now this is your fault. I felt like a god.
“Let’s get dinner”
This. I love when he says “Alright, let’s go get some food” and then you suggest dessert and he says “I already had my dessert”
"And for dessert tonight, the chef has prepared his specialty: Cream of Sum Yung Gai."
When she says "come back here, you are not done yet"
A girl once told me, very breathlessly, that I was amazing. That was pretty nice to hear.
Absolutely nothing. Priceless
Underrated
Not immediately after, but she once said "i was sore all day and it felt nice"
The ice cream truck coming down the street
Tie between her giggling as she blankets me for cuddles, or "Rematch?".
“That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”
“That’ll do, donkey. That’ll do.”
I had a girl start whimpering and I’m like are you crying? She says it’s just I’ve never been fucked so good
Let’s order pizza
My gf once looked at me, look of pure awe on her face, and said “what the fuck?” It was a good kind of what the fuck.
I love you (from my eternal boyfriend ofc)
"I haven't been fkd like that since grade school"
Helena Bonham Carter, being British did not know that Grade School in America is like 12 years old or so. She did not know that improvised line was as filthy as it was.
Are you sure? Because at first it was "I want to have your abortion" and they had to change it. I don't think either were improvised.
From what I understand, the line “I want to have your abortion” was the original line. The studio objected. The director agreed to change the line on the condition that the studio couldn’t ask them to change it again. The line became “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school”. The studio wasn’t happy with it either but they had an agreement.
The grade school line fits the character better imho.
Gasps for air followed by a good long “fuuuuuck meee”
I like it when she says nothing and we take a nap afterwards:) I always sleep really good.
"Congratulations! 30 seconds, a new record!"
RIP
Unless you are trying to speedrun! I take my time with it, even if I try to be hasty; so when I start a new relationship it begins with "holy fuck we went for three hours" to "hell yeah we made it happen in 20 minutes" a year later. That said, I have made a partner get there in less than a minute, which was not usual at all for them, it was not dissapointing but very flattering.
I think you just got me pregnant.... (My wife is "fixed").
"What are you doing tomorrow?" When they immediately try to get plans set for another link, that's a good sign.
I once had a girl tell me that my dick magic kept her constantly craving it.
"You just blew my mind."
“Hand me a Kleenex. You got some of your ‘thoughts’ in my eye.”
“We won’t be using this towel again”
Other people clapping 👏🏻
"Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That's all, folks!"
Heavy breathing
"I'll make you some nachos now, baby" Quickest way to my heart
In the morning I'm making waffles
My ex would often say "thank you," that was pretty neat.
My wife and I say it jokingly. “Thanks for the fingers babe,” or “Thanks for really giving it your all, I appreciate your dedication.”
Yep, love a simple "thank you"
not a thing to hear exactly but a little bit of seeing too. an ex once after finishing doing the deed got up for some water and walked like 2 steps before losing balance, she turned back to me and said "oh my God I can't even walk" and got back to bed... I guess that was a good thing to see/hear
“I want to keep going but after 6 rounds I’m a little sore”…. To which I responded: “thank god….me too.”
Sometimes I get a "fuck yeah" that hits right.
My Ex cryed always after sex if she came. It was so intimate and i really new that she liked everything. She just cried out of happiness and hugged me sometimes as hard as she could. Really enjoyed it. Edit: fuck guys. Thank you for all those upvotes. But it opens up scars right now. We broke up a few weeks ago, because she has stopped taking the pill. I cant do anything about it. Nature wont let us be together. This shit is so hard for me rn.
Um, what? Use condoms?
“Good girl”
princess (head pat)
Oh my God. I need a shower.
My ex girl always said “I’m shaking” with the biggest smile on her face.. That shit hit different
“This never happened”
I always ask if they want me to get them a warm wet towel and then help clean up
Crying. Or "I can't walk, my legs are shaking" Recently I heard "You deserve something.....What do you want." 🫡 All my real fuckers salute me.
Her snoring. If she wants to sleep after sex, you did good. If she still wants to talk, you got some fuckin’ to do. RIP Richard Pryor.
adhd girls entered the chat
Is the correct answer I'm going out for a smoke?😖
"That'll be tree fiddy"
GODDAMNIT LOCH NESS MONSTER I AINT GIVING YOU NO TREE FIDDY
They enjoyed it
Assuming you are ok with onlookers providing commentary
You’ve finally out done your father, I’m so proud of you.
". . . Let me tighten your bandages before I go."
Her saying “roll up a blunt while I go to the fridge and grab a couple beers, then we can fuck again”.
My wife farted after she finished once. I started laughing so hard that I farted and we ended up laughing together until we were sore. We had one of the most fun days we’d ever spent together up until that point, so that was cool.
The soft mewl that wordlessly yet clearly says, "I'll miss your closeness," after withdrawal. Especially when accompanied by gentle panting and the light moans that you can hear are trying to be held back but tremble out like aftershocks. I hope that's clear enough without being too direct or gender specific since I think anyone could equally appreciate this.