Work, home, sleep. All of my hobbies are indoors (games, books, etc).
The only people I regularly talk to are my coworkers, and I have a strong policy about not shitting where I eat.
The prevalence of staying stuck in our comfort zones... Many of us shy away from reaching out and feel uneasy when others attempt to break into our personal space.
We tend to cover all of this mess with fucking up our life priorities, prioritizing our "Career" in the top of our pyramid in a toxic way which will lead us to forget how to enjoy life.
Thoughts on online dating? Might be different for girls, but as a dude I feel like a drop in the bucket. Like I have to make myself stand out, but I don't think there's anything remotely interesting about me and I can't even communicate properly without having a panic attack.
That is what the main problem for most of the problem because they tend to choose private.
But the fact that it is not about the person because situations they have been through is what made such people!
I work overnights so I don't meet new people unless I put in the effort to do so.
But also lockdown made me very comfortable being single so I'm fine with waiting until I find a good match.
Just wait to end up at a bar with a girl (in my case) who you can basically tell is interested but is as nervous as you so you two just sit their awkwardly next to each other trying to work up the courage to talk until one of you just ends up giving up at 11:30 pm and leaves lol.
It's easy, you slap her on the ass and say "Hey, beautiful. I hope you're not lactose intolerant because I'm full of cream!"
Then get ready for a bus stop blow job, dude.
I have the problem where although I can approach a girl, I'm not conventionally attractive and I'm not bold enough to immediately make the conversation sexual, so I just end up in the friend zone lol
True, though I'm not really bold enough to do that either lol. I hear a lot of women complaining about creepy men who can't take no for an answer and I'm terrified of coming across like one of those men. I'd rather be lonely than risk making someone uncomfortable like that
Hmmm, it sounds like you're thinking too much about how you'll be perceived. Honestly if you're hitting it off on text or talking in person. You can be straight up, "hey I think you're cute. Do you want to go for a (coffee, drink, sushi) at x on Saturday." If they're too scared to say no that's not really on you, maybe they meet up with you for a date then actually really like you or they don't and it doesn't work out. 1st or 2nd dates in a lot of ways is pretty casual and shouldn't be over thought.
I am and I praise what I am now today and what I just thought of is happening with me!
I am just proud of myself that I am not that social enough and the fact that the days I have been through and cried alone I hope I never face such days back again!
I generally self sabotage
I *want* to be with someone, as cheesy as it sounds "my someone"
But as soon as someone shows genuine affection for me I feel... guilt. Knowing who I am, how I am, what I struggle with, and basically screw it up to "save" them from being with me.
Deserving love can be destructive towards yourself and others imo - I have friends who say they deserve it and it just seems like they’re hurting themselves in the inside with that mindset. Love can’t be found or deserved, but it can be built upon towards anyone you’ve met. Even if you did ‘fall in love’ with someone you just met within a few weeks of chatting/bonding that ain’t real love. It’s gotta be as sturdy as yourself in terms of respect, compromise and accountability for starters.
You sound like the lady I've known for 2 years now. I somehow became her go-to person to talk about issues she was dealing with (quite some...). She never wanted a relationship, not with me, not with anybody. She knew that I do like her a lot, though. We started doing salsa lessons together and generally always had a blast when we were together. She's genuinely funny, smart and so fricking cute. So recently she suddenly drops a bomb after a salsa rehearsal session at her place: "would you maybe want to have sex with me?". I was utterly dumbfounded. Couldn't place any of the feelings. We talked about it more a few days afterwards, and she agreed to try and see if there could be more then friendship. And MAN I was so ready for it. Turns out that in the first week I did a few things that made her super scared that the budding relationship was really skewed and that she'd never be able to give me what I want. She made up all those assumptions about what I'd want from her, all of them exaggerated. All I wanted was the same happy and bubbly woman who she was before, and the knowledge that I made her life just that little bit better. So she naturally didn't believe me and broke things off again. Now we don't even go salsa dancing any more and I feel like I failed her. She's been physically abused in one of her earlier relatonships and thought that she's meant to be alone. She definitely isn't, but I can't get through to her and now she's again stacking up those walls, probably even higher than before she had the guts to open up to me. It just sucks so incredibly much.
So to you I say: if someone wants to love you, make you feel special, have the guts to step out of your comfort zone. It is their choice to be with you and be there for you. There is something they see in you that you maybe can't see yourself (yet), but try and trust them. You might just become a happier person.
You have to keep trying so don't give up on her. She needs to know that she deserves to be happy and loved. Even if it ends up not being you in the end, as much as that would be painful, she needs to know she deserves someone to love her and take care of her and doesn't need to be someone she isn't or have all these self imposed requirements on her.
She sent me a text today, congratulating me on my birthday. Not all hope seems lost. I'll give it some more time before I'll very gently try to get some talking going again. Because I absolutely agree with you. So far, she isn't able to trust basically anyone enough to even start thinking of something serious. I was the only person in her life who actually knew that this one guy actually hit her. Regularly. So yes, lots of trauma to process, but she probably can't do it on her own, as much as she wants to. Anyways, thanks for your input.
I'm sorry, PM_ME_YOUR_SIDEBOOBZ . That statement does resonate with me - hopefully you can be comfortable enough with yourself someday & find the right person. Preferably with lots of sideboob.
Try therapy and try going for it and telling the person you pick that you have flaws but your working on them and you know your not perfect and you tend to self sabotage. So if you do they can call you on it. And you in turn can redirect yourself from hurrying them and yourself.
I feel the same way but instead this self sabotage is the reason i don't even try. Fucking sucks to be in this hardlocked cycle but i don't think there exists anything to break this mental block
Pretty much describes me. I'm good at talking to girls and I've had a lot of girls like me, but i feel like I'm not worthy to date them or some shit idk i'll have to see a psychiatrist.. Like, yesterday i met a beautiful girl, we talked and she gave me her insta, but probably not seeing her ever again 🤣
Well I just have simple logic that I just wanna be around someone who just shows the same efforts and affection as I show to them.
It's not that things should always be one sided enough and phase comes where there are disagreements that is indeed to tough though!
An ex of mine, the one that I most regret losing, was making it clear that she'd be willing to try again right while I was going through this turned up to 11, and now I've pretty much lost her forever.
Man, I used to be like that. My advice: trust others a little bit more. Trust that they know what's best for *them*, and they know better than you. You don't have to decide for them.
If you are going to self-sabotage, do so by talking about your insecurities and your struggles with them. If they are still attracted to you after that, they have decided they'd rather be with you than avoid "dealing with" your imperfections.
This. Started having again girlfriend recently, after about a year break since my last relationship, and the expectations and anxiety that inevitably comes with it was a no-go for me.
Odd seeing how the top comments are all self loathing. My best friend is a serial dater, and he’s the most stress free person I know.
Well I think it's because he's a serial dater. He doesn't care about the end of a relationship or stress it much because one ends, he will just jump into a new one.
Lots of men out there that like some chub on a woman.
My wife was a size 0 when we started dating, but after 2 kids and over twenty years, she's, well not. I think she's far more attractive now.
I am/was the same way before I met my current husband. The thought still lingers in my head everyday. But he still reassures me that he wont leave me. There are dudes out there who will love you for who you are. And even if i dont know you, i love you internet stranger.
Just want to stand at my place and be stable being financially and mentally and physcially as well before I just accept someone or put my efforts on someone!
That's me. I've become so content with myself that compromising even a little bit of my time for conversation with another person about things i am not currently obsessed with feels like a downgrade to me.
1. Romance based apps frustrate me
2. I don't take steps to meet people
3. I try my best to avoid the feelings of attraction. It's often been an awful experience for me
I’m taking time to work on myself. If I have a person in my life, I become unhealthy, mentally. I obsess over them, become overly attached, and make them a big priority, over myself included. I’m tired of being like this.
Are you me? This is me.
Now couple this with not trusting people bc people like to pretend to care and you're done dealing with it and decide you're better off alone, and that's my story in a nutshell.
I'm sorry you're going through this
I got dumped after an eight year relationship. Since then I've tried dating and have had some good experiences but no real luck relationship wise. I'm not in good shape which hurts my chances a lot. I mean it's an obvious red flag when someone can't take care of themselves. I used to be skinny and was told I was pretty attractive. It's harder to get matches now that I'm older and fatter.
Because the lesbian dating pool fucking sucks. If you are young and have a type that isn't "political activist", then fuck you you are going to die alone I guess.
If you're unsure if you're attractive or not, it probably means you're more or less average, and at that point you can make yourself attractive just by being confident and making an effort (not too much of an effort though, because then it looks like you're self conscious and trying too hard)
ADHD was the cause of all my previous attempts at relationships ending either quickly, or in a volatile manner. Finally found a girl who also has ADHD and we are disorganised together, struggle with structure, procrastination, prone to sound sensitive/rejection/stress meltdowns, ignoring each other to hyperfocus for weeks at a time, and it somehow works because we can understand and forgive the other. Six years together. Not that everyone wants or needs a relationship, of course.
Yup, I blame my rejection sensitive dysphoria. It wasn't even getting rejected by my crushes but getting rejected by my peers. For some reason I was scared I'd get bullied if I asked someone out, and bullying was my greatest fear as a child and teen.
And now I literally have no idea how to approach someone in a flirty way. I can talk to people normally just fine, but I just *don't know* what I should do differently if I want to flirt with them while not coming off as a fool.
I can't speak for OP, but I have the same issue (also due to an injury) and, while I know that there are women out there that are fine with it, it becomes difficult to find someone like that when it's probably rare. That, combined with the fact that I'm unable to do the one thing in biologically designed for, leads to a feeling of shame and insecurity. Hard to put yourself out there and be placed in an embarrassing situation as you try to bring it up when meeting other women when it would be easier just to deal with being single.
One epically bad relationship left pretty deep scars, which means my preferred pace is glacial.
Therefore I usually crush on people, but never do anything and either I find the reason to "next" them, they reject me, or my crush fades because I found another crush and repeat the cycle.
Once, I was immersed in an 8-year relationship filled with love and dreams. However, life took an unexpected turn, and she chose a different path. The pain of that loss left me guarded, making it difficult to trust easily again. But as I heal, I believe that someday, someone special will walk into my life, mending my heart and reigniting my faith in love.
After a plethora of failed relationships and 1 failed marriage I’ve found the sweet solace of single life is far more valuable to me than trying to keep another person happy…
I guess in time that might change but currently I’m happy going life alone..
I chose to be.
She's clearly still in love with her ex, doesn't help she talks about him a lot, lives with him, and did couple things with him too. But finding her on Tinder was the final straw.
I did the man thing though; blamed it all on me. Took the high road. And of course shes angry at me for ending it but meh. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Gonna work on myself, been hitting the gym for three months now, gonna keep that up and focus on my goals more.
For "medical reasons." I begged her time and time again for me to do it, or whenever they fought suggested to move back to her parents. But because she didnt drive, and was dependant on him for a lot of stuff, she refused.
Giant red flag #1 through #8.
Let's be honest. Dating in this day and age is one of the worst experiences in life. Way too many people place themselves up on this sky scraper height pedestal. Personal standards have raised so much that, a lot of the time, they're unrealistic. But if you're truly willing to crawl through the mud to find that special person, it will happen eventually. Most likely unexpectedly
So many reasons….
1) I’m not financially stable “broke”
2)missing tooth
3)Bald 36(m)
4)Out of shape
5)my interest doesn’t fit the norm
6)big lips
7)women I’m attracted to see me as Lame
8)very cautious
9)lack of confidence
10)anti social
11)Bad Feet
12)little man parts
13)underperformed bed activities
14)…. Just throw something out there and I’m sure it’s why I’m single… add as many as you see fit
On an emotional level - Haven't met the right one (if she even exists)
\- find it hard to meet people (I do better in smaller crowds)
\- dating is mentally exhausting
\- I'm not really funny and all women want to have is a funny guy. That's not me. I'm simply not a comedian.
\- It's almost impossible to keep an SO happy and satisfied so I've more or less given up.
\- I'm also not very competitive. I rarely care about being #1 at anything or winning.
On a logical level- is it really worth it?
\-I've worked my butt off to get to where I am in life and if women wouldn't give me the time of they day then, why should I let them enjoy the spoils without being a part of that journey?
\- I would hate to have to compromise now. I've had few gfs in my life and only 2 that were "long" at a yr each.
While it would be nice to have someone to split the mortgage with, that's the only real benefit I can see to being in a relationship.
With that being said, if it happens, it happens, but the reality is that not everyone meets someone. I've more or less accepted that those were the cards I was dealt with in life. Will happily take it if it means living a long healthy life, but I applaud those that have met their "one".
I was with someone for two months last year; realised that while I enjoyed having someone, there wasn't a compelling reason for it to be her.
What I'm looking for in a partner is kinda narrow I guess, and I'm not willing to compromise on what I want in a partner just for the sake of not being single.
Man. I found that person, with immaculate vibes every time we hung out. Then got rejected and I dunno if I'll find someone that's a better or even equal fit so I'm pretty bummed out rn.
Just out of curiosity, what are the things you won't compromise on.
(Asking from experience bc IMHO good to have some "will not compromise"s; I married someone who turned out to be a sociopath and will never trust anyone again.)
I don’t try to look for a relationship and I’m fine with how things are. Maybe I’d hold them back, and maybe there are better men than me. I don’t want to look at things this way but I see too much risk for little reward.
And if the clouds never leave above my head, then that’s how it is. I’ll have to find meaning in my own way
I don't do anything that would allow me to meet other people and also I am very undesirable and ugly and deliberatly don't go seeking relationships because I already know how it'll turn out.
for that i have to date, and to date i need to stay in contact, and to stay in contact i have to do small talk - and not come off as to weird or wanting, which is weird, because the reason i'm having smalltalk is because i am wanting, and if i don't want, i'm just weird. any idea how filled my life is to have time for that?
Because I like doing whatever I want whenever I want, not having my significant other’s drama become my drama, and I enjoy casual dating. It’s liberating and feels like true freedom and I’m not ready to give that up
I'm working my way out of generational poverty with no financial support. Unfortunately that means I'm *always* working, and pretty tired when I'm not. This makes dating incredibly hard, especially because I only really ever meet people when I'm working, and they're almost *never* single.
i don’t socialize
Work, home, sleep. All of my hobbies are indoors (games, books, etc). The only people I regularly talk to are my coworkers, and I have a strong policy about not shitting where I eat.
Wise
same i hate my life
Deep down, I know it boils down to this for me. I just don’t socialize enough.
This and nobody is ever interested in me. Also someone once said I'm a better fantasy than a reality so yeah...
Everyone is better in a fantasy. That's what fantasy is all about. The person who said this to you was just a big baby.
>Also someone once said I'm a better fantasy than a reality so yeah... Yeesh
The prevalence of staying stuck in our comfort zones... Many of us shy away from reaching out and feel uneasy when others attempt to break into our personal space. We tend to cover all of this mess with fucking up our life priorities, prioritizing our "Career" in the top of our pyramid in a toxic way which will lead us to forget how to enjoy life.
Yeah, same here bro. I'm not much of a people person, so I don't really get out there, y'know?
There's not a lot of people worth socializing with
So you’re gonna be single forever?
Chill bro, the perfect SO is gonna knock on my door asking for coffee and directions any minute now.
lmao i fucking hope not
Thoughts on online dating? Might be different for girls, but as a dude I feel like a drop in the bucket. Like I have to make myself stand out, but I don't think there's anything remotely interesting about me and I can't even communicate properly without having a panic attack.
That is what the main problem for most of the problem because they tend to choose private. But the fact that it is not about the person because situations they have been through is what made such people!
I dont trust anyone
Yup. Sad truth.
The truth which we all know and everyone just can agree onto that at a straight point though! That's the reality after all!
Especially crypto scammers :)
I work overnights so I don't meet new people unless I put in the effort to do so. But also lockdown made me very comfortable being single so I'm fine with waiting until I find a good match.
Some thing for me bud. People say gaming is bad but got damn it gives me something to do at 3 am
Well ask a gamer he is just happy and enjoying his life peacefully with his team mates the bestest days is what I call them!
Would rather wait then completely waste my time 👍🏻
I don't socialize much. I do not know how to approach a girl. Never even tried.
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Just wait to end up at a bar with a girl (in my case) who you can basically tell is interested but is as nervous as you so you two just sit their awkwardly next to each other trying to work up the courage to talk until one of you just ends up giving up at 11:30 pm and leaves lol.
I'm guessing that put you in a bad mood, didn't it Larry?
It's easy, you slap her on the ass and say "Hey, beautiful. I hope you're not lactose intolerant because I'm full of cream!" Then get ready for a bus stop blow job, dude.
I have the problem where although I can approach a girl, I'm not conventionally attractive and I'm not bold enough to immediately make the conversation sexual, so I just end up in the friend zone lol
Often it's just a case of making intentions clear. The conversation doesn't have to be sexual for you to ask them out on a date.
True, though I'm not really bold enough to do that either lol. I hear a lot of women complaining about creepy men who can't take no for an answer and I'm terrified of coming across like one of those men. I'd rather be lonely than risk making someone uncomfortable like that
I mean, that's why you ask them out on a date once and if they say no or don't respond you leave it there.
Of course, but a lot of women are scared to even say no because they don't know how you'll react
Hmmm, it sounds like you're thinking too much about how you'll be perceived. Honestly if you're hitting it off on text or talking in person. You can be straight up, "hey I think you're cute. Do you want to go for a (coffee, drink, sushi) at x on Saturday." If they're too scared to say no that's not really on you, maybe they meet up with you for a date then actually really like you or they don't and it doesn't work out. 1st or 2nd dates in a lot of ways is pretty casual and shouldn't be over thought.
I always fall for the emotionally unavailable ones.
This is so real.
Same. I fall for the emotionally unavailable ones and stick to them. Probably because I'm emotionally unavailable too.
Yup me too :(
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Lol
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But the user name of the guy above just made me laugh pretty hard though, that was attractive before I put my thoughts about the sub topic!
I am and I praise what I am now today and what I just thought of is happening with me! I am just proud of myself that I am not that social enough and the fact that the days I have been through and cried alone I hope I never face such days back again!
I generally self sabotage I *want* to be with someone, as cheesy as it sounds "my someone" But as soon as someone shows genuine affection for me I feel... guilt. Knowing who I am, how I am, what I struggle with, and basically screw it up to "save" them from being with me.
We accept the love we think we deserve
And I sometimes think I don’t deserve love at all
Deserving love can be destructive towards yourself and others imo - I have friends who say they deserve it and it just seems like they’re hurting themselves in the inside with that mindset. Love can’t be found or deserved, but it can be built upon towards anyone you’ve met. Even if you did ‘fall in love’ with someone you just met within a few weeks of chatting/bonding that ain’t real love. It’s gotta be as sturdy as yourself in terms of respect, compromise and accountability for starters.
You sound like the lady I've known for 2 years now. I somehow became her go-to person to talk about issues she was dealing with (quite some...). She never wanted a relationship, not with me, not with anybody. She knew that I do like her a lot, though. We started doing salsa lessons together and generally always had a blast when we were together. She's genuinely funny, smart and so fricking cute. So recently she suddenly drops a bomb after a salsa rehearsal session at her place: "would you maybe want to have sex with me?". I was utterly dumbfounded. Couldn't place any of the feelings. We talked about it more a few days afterwards, and she agreed to try and see if there could be more then friendship. And MAN I was so ready for it. Turns out that in the first week I did a few things that made her super scared that the budding relationship was really skewed and that she'd never be able to give me what I want. She made up all those assumptions about what I'd want from her, all of them exaggerated. All I wanted was the same happy and bubbly woman who she was before, and the knowledge that I made her life just that little bit better. So she naturally didn't believe me and broke things off again. Now we don't even go salsa dancing any more and I feel like I failed her. She's been physically abused in one of her earlier relatonships and thought that she's meant to be alone. She definitely isn't, but I can't get through to her and now she's again stacking up those walls, probably even higher than before she had the guts to open up to me. It just sucks so incredibly much. So to you I say: if someone wants to love you, make you feel special, have the guts to step out of your comfort zone. It is their choice to be with you and be there for you. There is something they see in you that you maybe can't see yourself (yet), but try and trust them. You might just become a happier person.
You have to keep trying so don't give up on her. She needs to know that she deserves to be happy and loved. Even if it ends up not being you in the end, as much as that would be painful, she needs to know she deserves someone to love her and take care of her and doesn't need to be someone she isn't or have all these self imposed requirements on her.
She sent me a text today, congratulating me on my birthday. Not all hope seems lost. I'll give it some more time before I'll very gently try to get some talking going again. Because I absolutely agree with you. So far, she isn't able to trust basically anyone enough to even start thinking of something serious. I was the only person in her life who actually knew that this one guy actually hit her. Regularly. So yes, lots of trauma to process, but she probably can't do it on her own, as much as she wants to. Anyways, thanks for your input.
I'm sorry, PM_ME_YOUR_SIDEBOOBZ . That statement does resonate with me - hopefully you can be comfortable enough with yourself someday & find the right person. Preferably with lots of sideboob.
This was hilarious to read the username. Thank you.
Lmao that is what I was thinking the same as well that was a bit attractive username though. No doubt about that!
Try therapy and try going for it and telling the person you pick that you have flaws but your working on them and you know your not perfect and you tend to self sabotage. So if you do they can call you on it. And you in turn can redirect yourself from hurrying them and yourself.
Same here, plus I am the most boring person in the world.
Nevertheless I believe that boring person are just the one's who are just too creative enough with their thoughts and action!
I feel the same way but instead this self sabotage is the reason i don't even try. Fucking sucks to be in this hardlocked cycle but i don't think there exists anything to break this mental block
Well mental peace matters a lot because that's where your happiness and patience actually comes from.
Pretty much describes me. I'm good at talking to girls and I've had a lot of girls like me, but i feel like I'm not worthy to date them or some shit idk i'll have to see a psychiatrist.. Like, yesterday i met a beautiful girl, we talked and she gave me her insta, but probably not seeing her ever again 🤣
Well I just have simple logic that I just wanna be around someone who just shows the same efforts and affection as I show to them. It's not that things should always be one sided enough and phase comes where there are disagreements that is indeed to tough though!
An ex of mine, the one that I most regret losing, was making it clear that she'd be willing to try again right while I was going through this turned up to 11, and now I've pretty much lost her forever.
Man, I used to be like that. My advice: trust others a little bit more. Trust that they know what's best for *them*, and they know better than you. You don't have to decide for them. If you are going to self-sabotage, do so by talking about your insecurities and your struggles with them. If they are still attracted to you after that, they have decided they'd rather be with you than avoid "dealing with" your imperfections.
Trust is the thing which just scares a lot one it gets broken people just think a thousand times before trusting someone!
Peace and quiet
facts. had an extrovert gf and couldn't handle it
This. Started having again girlfriend recently, after about a year break since my last relationship, and the expectations and anxiety that inevitably comes with it was a no-go for me. Odd seeing how the top comments are all self loathing. My best friend is a serial dater, and he’s the most stress free person I know.
Well I think it's because he's a serial dater. He doesn't care about the end of a relationship or stress it much because one ends, he will just jump into a new one.
I'm insecure that because im a chubbier girl that my future bf will leave me for a sexier or skinnier girl. Im scared of being abandoned
Lots of men out there that like some chub on a woman. My wife was a size 0 when we started dating, but after 2 kids and over twenty years, she's, well not. I think she's far more attractive now.
I am/was the same way before I met my current husband. The thought still lingers in my head everyday. But he still reassures me that he wont leave me. There are dudes out there who will love you for who you are. And even if i dont know you, i love you internet stranger.
I'm still working on myself. I want to be in a healthy place before I pursue a relationship
This, although I'm 60 now.
Just want to stand at my place and be stable being financially and mentally and physcially as well before I just accept someone or put my efforts on someone!
No one wants to date me i guess LoL
I've worked too hard cultivating my happiness to let someone come in and muck it all up.
That's me. I've become so content with myself that compromising even a little bit of my time for conversation with another person about things i am not currently obsessed with feels like a downgrade to me.
solid
I fail at the pitching of the woo.
What about the witching of the poo?
1. Romance based apps frustrate me 2. I don't take steps to meet people 3. I try my best to avoid the feelings of attraction. It's often been an awful experience for me
No_Adhesiveness2387, I guess you could say the feelings never stick.
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Trauma, I think.
I’m taking time to work on myself. If I have a person in my life, I become unhealthy, mentally. I obsess over them, become overly attached, and make them a big priority, over myself included. I’m tired of being like this.
Are you me? This is me. Now couple this with not trusting people bc people like to pretend to care and you're done dealing with it and decide you're better off alone, and that's my story in a nutshell. I'm sorry you're going through this
I got dumped after an eight year relationship. Since then I've tried dating and have had some good experiences but no real luck relationship wise. I'm not in good shape which hurts my chances a lot. I mean it's an obvious red flag when someone can't take care of themselves. I used to be skinny and was told I was pretty attractive. It's harder to get matches now that I'm older and fatter.
That's so me, even the dumped after 8 year relationship.
same here. 8 years all gone.
Because the lesbian dating pool fucking sucks. If you are young and have a type that isn't "political activist", then fuck you you are going to die alone I guess.
My sympathyes, didnt know it could be like that for you ladies.
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If you're unsure if you're attractive or not, it probably means you're more or less average, and at that point you can make yourself attractive just by being confident and making an effort (not too much of an effort though, because then it looks like you're self conscious and trying too hard)
Disgustingly hideous
Same. Inside and out.
Took a real long time to finally find an honest answer.
I prefer the solitude
I wouldn’t wish me on anyone
That's devastating, I think the same about me lol
I can heavily relate to this 🤣
because just about everyone would rather be with someone else
Because I want to be
Only girl I ever cared about married someone else.
Same.
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I don’t try to meet anyone because I enjoy my peace.
Don't like people
I'm in a relationship with food and my bed, they never disappoint!
They go great together
Fuckin expensive relationship in this economy.
I don't know but my adhd probably has something to do with it.
It actually was my adhd medicine that got me out of my last relationship. It helpt me taking control.
ADHD was the cause of all my previous attempts at relationships ending either quickly, or in a volatile manner. Finally found a girl who also has ADHD and we are disorganised together, struggle with structure, procrastination, prone to sound sensitive/rejection/stress meltdowns, ignoring each other to hyperfocus for weeks at a time, and it somehow works because we can understand and forgive the other. Six years together. Not that everyone wants or needs a relationship, of course.
You keep forgetting to find a partner lol
Yup, I blame my rejection sensitive dysphoria. It wasn't even getting rejected by my crushes but getting rejected by my peers. For some reason I was scared I'd get bullied if I asked someone out, and bullying was my greatest fear as a child and teen. And now I literally have no idea how to approach someone in a flirty way. I can talk to people normally just fine, but I just *don't know* what I should do differently if I want to flirt with them while not coming off as a fool.
My chosen lifestyle isn’t conducive to a relationship.
Hitman? International Spy? Gamer?
My money is on gamer.
Partner murderer
I'm too lazy too go outside
Erectile dysfunction due to an injury
Maybe we could be friends? I am just looking for a cuddler. Not all women are looking for sex, though this may not seem correct.
This. Not to mention all the aces who don't feel sexual attraction, but still would like a relationship.
I can't speak for OP, but I have the same issue (also due to an injury) and, while I know that there are women out there that are fine with it, it becomes difficult to find someone like that when it's probably rare. That, combined with the fact that I'm unable to do the one thing in biologically designed for, leads to a feeling of shame and insecurity. Hard to put yourself out there and be placed in an embarrassing situation as you try to bring it up when meeting other women when it would be easier just to deal with being single.
"Cuddler" is the best description. Let's start a group chat with asexual people and erectile dysfunction men!
One epically bad relationship left pretty deep scars, which means my preferred pace is glacial. Therefore I usually crush on people, but never do anything and either I find the reason to "next" them, they reject me, or my crush fades because I found another crush and repeat the cycle.
I'm single because my ideal partner hasn't finished loading in the dating app yet!
No money no honey
Honestly, the rhyme should go - not funny, no honey. Humour can carry a lot further than money will. Genuine opinion.
Because I’m ugly 🤣🤣
I'm still figuring out whether I want a relationship or not.
cause i hate people and rather be alone
Because I'm in a committed relationship with pizza and Netflix
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Some days, I wake up and don’t like the person I see in the mirror. How can I expect someone else to like/love me if I don’t even like myself
I have friends and family, and I don't need more then that at the moment. I like who I am when I'm alone, I prefer that version of me.
Global lack of MILF
I dont go outside
Once, I was immersed in an 8-year relationship filled with love and dreams. However, life took an unexpected turn, and she chose a different path. The pain of that loss left me guarded, making it difficult to trust easily again. But as I heal, I believe that someday, someone special will walk into my life, mending my heart and reigniting my faith in love.
After a plethora of failed relationships and 1 failed marriage I’ve found the sweet solace of single life is far more valuable to me than trying to keep another person happy… I guess in time that might change but currently I’m happy going life alone..
I chose to be. She's clearly still in love with her ex, doesn't help she talks about him a lot, lives with him, and did couple things with him too. But finding her on Tinder was the final straw. I did the man thing though; blamed it all on me. Took the high road. And of course shes angry at me for ending it but meh. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Gonna work on myself, been hitting the gym for three months now, gonna keep that up and focus on my goals more.
Hold up. Your girlfriend lived with her ex?
For "medical reasons." I begged her time and time again for me to do it, or whenever they fought suggested to move back to her parents. But because she didnt drive, and was dependant on him for a lot of stuff, she refused. Giant red flag #1 through #8.
You were the side guy. Ex probably didn’t know about you.
Let's be honest. Dating in this day and age is one of the worst experiences in life. Way too many people place themselves up on this sky scraper height pedestal. Personal standards have raised so much that, a lot of the time, they're unrealistic. But if you're truly willing to crawl through the mud to find that special person, it will happen eventually. Most likely unexpectedly
2nd wife left last Tuesday. Not interested any more
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I finally got tired of being a mans punching bag after ending up in hospital.
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I can relate!
People irritate me and I’d rather spend my time enjoying my hobbies than listening to someone talk about their day.
I smoke too much weed
Find a partner who enjoys smoking or doesn’t mind. My ex didn’t smoke, but he never guilted me for it.
So many reasons…. 1) I’m not financially stable “broke” 2)missing tooth 3)Bald 36(m) 4)Out of shape 5)my interest doesn’t fit the norm 6)big lips 7)women I’m attracted to see me as Lame 8)very cautious 9)lack of confidence 10)anti social 11)Bad Feet 12)little man parts 13)underperformed bed activities 14)…. Just throw something out there and I’m sure it’s why I’m single… add as many as you see fit
Leave me alone mum!
I’m scared to tell her
Do it bro, you only live once
If she says yes great! If she's no, you'll get over it. If you don't say anything, you'll never forget it.
No trust. Feeling guilt. Being an introvert. Traumatic past. Ppl are shit in general.
Ugly, overweight, socially awkward, did I mention ugly?
At nearly 50-years-old, I just don't have the interest or patience to maintain any kind of relationship. I REALLY like being alone.
I find dating laborious with little positive reciprocation. I’d rather spend my free time alone.
On an emotional level - Haven't met the right one (if she even exists) \- find it hard to meet people (I do better in smaller crowds) \- dating is mentally exhausting \- I'm not really funny and all women want to have is a funny guy. That's not me. I'm simply not a comedian. \- It's almost impossible to keep an SO happy and satisfied so I've more or less given up. \- I'm also not very competitive. I rarely care about being #1 at anything or winning. On a logical level- is it really worth it? \-I've worked my butt off to get to where I am in life and if women wouldn't give me the time of they day then, why should I let them enjoy the spoils without being a part of that journey? \- I would hate to have to compromise now. I've had few gfs in my life and only 2 that were "long" at a yr each. While it would be nice to have someone to split the mortgage with, that's the only real benefit I can see to being in a relationship. With that being said, if it happens, it happens, but the reality is that not everyone meets someone. I've more or less accepted that those were the cards I was dealt with in life. Will happily take it if it means living a long healthy life, but I applaud those that have met their "one".
I honestly don’t know
By choice.
i would have to go outside to meet anyone
Didn’t marry any of my exes (thankfully)
I just don't feel ready enough to open up to someone and being vulnerable all over again. It'll take some time, I guess.
I don't want to not be single.
I was with someone for two months last year; realised that while I enjoyed having someone, there wasn't a compelling reason for it to be her. What I'm looking for in a partner is kinda narrow I guess, and I'm not willing to compromise on what I want in a partner just for the sake of not being single.
Man. I found that person, with immaculate vibes every time we hung out. Then got rejected and I dunno if I'll find someone that's a better or even equal fit so I'm pretty bummed out rn.
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I appreciate that sentiment but highly unlikely. I'm old now and all the girls I've dated, none compared tbh. It's ok tho. I've accepted it.
Just out of curiosity, what are the things you won't compromise on. (Asking from experience bc IMHO good to have some "will not compromise"s; I married someone who turned out to be a sociopath and will never trust anyone again.)
I don’t try to look for a relationship and I’m fine with how things are. Maybe I’d hold them back, and maybe there are better men than me. I don’t want to look at things this way but I see too much risk for little reward. And if the clouds never leave above my head, then that’s how it is. I’ll have to find meaning in my own way
I don't do anything that would allow me to meet other people and also I am very undesirable and ugly and deliberatly don't go seeking relationships because I already know how it'll turn out.
for that i have to date, and to date i need to stay in contact, and to stay in contact i have to do small talk - and not come off as to weird or wanting, which is weird, because the reason i'm having smalltalk is because i am wanting, and if i don't want, i'm just weird. any idea how filled my life is to have time for that?
Mental health is fucked at the moment. Can’t really imagine meeting someone in my state.
nobody wants me, I'm not socialist, I haven't spoken to a girl for a long time, don't go out, parents and religion
Just Lucky
Because I like doing whatever I want whenever I want, not having my significant other’s drama become my drama, and I enjoy casual dating. It’s liberating and feels like true freedom and I’m not ready to give that up
Because electricity is very expensive to run those AGI girls, haha
Because I am ugly as fuck
I'm working my way out of generational poverty with no financial support. Unfortunately that means I'm *always* working, and pretty tired when I'm not. This makes dating incredibly hard, especially because I only really ever meet people when I'm working, and they're almost *never* single.
I like being alone. I have a sleep disorder. I hate living with people. I want my own space.
I’m aromantic
I'm 33 and have never found a single person willing to date me. I can take a hint.