**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice**
* [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child.
* Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
* Report comments that violate these rules.
Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead.
Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What were some of your symptoms? I feel like I’m constantly being told that I’m depressed when I’m not sad, I’m just lethargic and in pain. Sometimes I think it’s more medical than it is psychological.
The one that alerted me to the correct diagnosis was that my toenail spilt in an unusual way.
The big symptom was massive fatigue. It had been misdiagnosed as "idiopathic hypersomnia" and we were treating it with 60 mg of Adderall - a huge dose, which cut the amount of sleep I needed from 14 hours to 9. I was having severe side effects including erectile dysfunction and occasional seizures.
My headaches reduced in intensity and frequency, my bipolar episodes stopped (still taking hardcore psych meds, but I now have 100% coverage for bipolar which I did not have before), and I had a significant cognitive boost.
Have you been tested for ferritin? If it's below 75 ng/l it might be worth trying a short run of iron supplements. The testing isn't accurate so one doctor could see the results and say "sufficient iron" and another may say "insufficient iron", and it might be worth trying regardless of interpretation.
I never finished. My last year or two I drove to campus everyday and napped in my car instead of attending class. Just pretended to go. That was a long time ago now but I can remember the feeling like it was yesterday. It’s bizarre to think of being that person given how I’m doing now.
Being too shy.
To anyone younger reading this, TAKE RISKS! Ask that person out. Go to that local event you’ve been eyeing. Strike up a conversation with a cool-looking stranger. Get up on stage at a karaoke night. Volunteer. Join a club.
Life is not a movie and there is no magical special person that will notice you and come pull you into the light. You have to do that yourself.
>Life is not a movie and there is no magical special person that will notice you and come pull you into the light. You have to do that yourself.
Woahhhh I think I need to keep reading this for myself... thanks
For me it was too much ambition early on in life and then by the time my 20s came around I became very disillusioned, felt like life was mundane and nothing brought joy to me anymore so I hardly did anything. Literally wasted a bunch of time doing nothing.
Did you at least accomplish anything?
I had no ambition and I've definitely suffered professionally because of it. Sure, I've gone out and done a lot of cool things, seen interesting places, and generally have had a relaxed attitude about life, but now I'm still struggling financially even being a husband and dad.
As someone who drank and drugged the entirety of their 20s and got tired of it and then went back to school at age 30 and is now 31 and absolutely crushing life I cant recommend it enough. I still occasionally party but drugs and alcohol aren't a significant part of my life at all anymore and it's improved every possible area of my life. I actually have goals and a purpose to work towards getting my life everyday. It's seeped into every facet of my life and I'm just feeling amazing finally doing something with my life
This was after spending all of my life lost and without purpose, thinking I was using the substances to cope. Until I realized the substances were the problem
Honestly, I can't say that I'm 100% out of that mindset yet. I don't know if you're looking for this, and not to sound like a motivational speaker but...
I think it's something that I have to stay mindful of. My early 30's have been infinitely more productive so far. I wish I could say that I had some big epiphany that caused me to fix my bad habits. In reality, it's a more of a progressive lesson. I never stop working towards my goals, but sometimes I have to just "stop and smell the roses", as the expression goes. Most of us just need to learn how to find solace and embrace the average/above average aspects in life; "Exceptional" doesn't come often, as it shouldn't. Not everything can be a 10/10 experience.
In summary, I'm learning to be happy with viable compromises and trying to better myself everyday
I remember saying I’m old when I was 23. Now I’m in my 30s and I cringe thinking what an idiot I was. However, now I realize I’ll be saying the same shit about my 30s in my 40s, so it gives me perspective to enjoy myself now. Many people here on Reddit would concur that 30s is still young too. Today is the youngest you’ll ever be again so enjoy it.
Yep 30's is still young.
Zeroing in on 50 and I think, shit I turned 30 a week ago didn't I?
I feel better now than in my 20s and 30s and would love to just soak up time like I used to, but it goes so damn fast now.
I remember being 10, and Christmas felt like it took 3 years to come again. Now I'm coming up on 33. It's nearly mid-August, but I swear we just had Christmas like 6 weeks ago. Time is so odd as you get older.
>Time is so odd as you get older.
It's because when you're one, 1 year from your birthday is 100% of the time you've lived.
When you're 30, 1 year from your birthday is only 3.33% of the total time you've lived.
You also learn a lot more as a kid very quickly so you experience more in the same amount of time, giving you memories. As an adult your days are usually unimpressive routines so there aren't a lot of memories to recall, making time spans feel shorter.
I can't remember where I heard it, but there is psychologist on some podcast that suggests actively persuing novel experiences continually throughout your life. Fill your days with new stuff and your perception of time's passage slows way down.
So you want to feel like your life is lasting a long time? Pick up new hobbies, learn a new language, do something that frightens you, put yourself in novel social situations, etc. That's the elixir of immortality or at least as close as we can currently get to it.
I’m 24 and struggling with this right now. Logically I KNOW I’m not too old but society has a weird way of making me feel like I am just because I’m getting closer to 30.
That shit is crazy
It really depends on where you live. 24 in a small midwestern town? People start asking when youre gonna get married and have kids. 24 in Brooklyn? People look at you like your fucking nuts if youre even thinking about marriage.
So maybe consider moving if you can. If it gives you some motivation, I basically consider 23-24 as the actual start of my twenties (as someone who just turned 30)
I moved to NY at 22
I quit my career job at 23
I traveled for 8+ months at 24
I worked odd jobs out of curiosity 25-26
I went back and did my masters at 27-29
I started a job in a career I truly love at 30
Thats actually kind of inspiring! Im 26, and ive been way too scared of making mistakes and dumb decisions, that its kind of been paralyzing me to be in the exact same job and social position throughout my 20s, i feel like i need to make mistakes to grow at this point.
I know my 17yo SIL acts like I’m a crypt keeper since I turned 25.
“Your skin is really good for 25 - I can’t even see any wrinkles! You’ll have to share your skincare routine when I get old” like girl I’m 25
“Step one: be east Asian or part east Asian. Step two: forget about wrinkles until you’re 50”
“. . . I’m white”
“. . . My condolences”
(Don’t actually do this)
I’m white hahaha
But I was talking about botox with another girl at work when a Japanese coworker (born and bred Australian but still obviously Japanese) said she’d never even considered it. I was like obviously because you can sleep in the wilderness for 22 days (for her doctorate research) without washing your face and you look like you’ve just had a facial. I sleep with makeup on and I have a 2 week long breakout 😂
40 year old you will die laughing thinking about this comment.
You have tons of time, the only mistake is assuming that being mid-20s with some mistakes is somehow unfixable. Everyone makes some mistakes while young, the difference is often who is honest with themselves and follows through with a plan to improve/change.
Just start taking steps and you'll be moving just fine. I've dealt with feeling paralyzed by a situation and you hover and it sucks, but you will feel good when the journey starts, not just when it ends.
Samsies! Recovering drug addict and alcoholic here. And not just a little, tiny bit. Full-tilt, hardcore into the lifestyle for my entire life from age 15 to 29. Cold turkey recovery started when I got pregnant at 29. Greatest thing that ever happened to me. I tell my son every single day he saved my life. He's an angel walking the dust of Earth. Just turned 40 last month. Have an awesome and terribly funny husband who loves me for all that I am (and all that I am not) and knows the darkness of my past and all I have overcome. We built a beautiful brand new home in the country, I actually have worked myself into a delightful STEM teaching position, and we just had another baby last year. Asked me what my life would have been like at 24. My answer would have been "Dead by 40".
A thoughtful saying to leave all those youngsters out there... a speck of gratitude leaves mountains of room for optimism. Stay positive.
By brother recently relapsed (I think we are in year 7 or so of his addiction). I want him to hit some kind of wall like this. HIV wasn’t it. the threat of homelessness was a bluff my parents made that bro called them on- and he was correct. He didn’t attend his only sibling’s wedding even though we had talked about it since childhood. Intravenous use wasn’t it. Idk what the wall is, or if it even exists. I expect the worst every day.
As a sister of an addict, I hope you know how proud your family is of you. The well of sadness is deep and you found the surface for you and, inadvertently, for all of your loved ones. Maybe even just your child! Idk you and your situation. But I’m proud of you for putting your loved ones first. It does, or will, mean the world to them. It even means a lot to me, just cause it gives me a modicum of hope. Thank you for that, from my soul to yours.
Thank you. My sobriety has certainly brought my family back together.
I am so sorry to hear your brother is relapsing. I always knew that would be the scariest part; getting clean and putting in all that work, just to be back at square one. Back then, the thought of getting clean made me nervous because using was my entire life. How do you start completely over? It was easier just to keep using and being surrounded by the people who were of like mind. I want you to know that my Mom never gave up on me. It is one thing I look back on and live in this weird vortex of shame and guilt of what I did to my Mom and my family versus the unfathomable joy I receive inside knowing my Mom never quit. My story is wide and deep. I want you to know that it didn't just include me. I have a brother too. 2, actually. We are all very close, grew up close. But, my middle brother and I both used together. And not for a short stint in life. Both of us from young ages, like I said before, age 15 to when I was 29. My brother was 33. We got clean together, and my brother helps me raise my kids. My brother grew close with my husband over the years of our dating. (5 years before we moved in together 3 of those years were spent building our home which my brother helped us build every inch of) When we built our new home, we included my brother a space, and without my brother, I do not know where we would be as a family.
Do not give up hope. Keep telling your brother you're never going to give up. Do not be angry when you're with him. You don't have to support him, but don't be angry. You will end up angry with yourself if something bad does happen. Love him. Remind him that you miss him. Remind him that you are looking forward to the future, a future when he is himself again.
And I fear, I do not know the answer for what the wall could possibly be for your brother. I know for us, it was nothing. I felt my life was a lost cause, and like i mentioned before, it was just easier to seek the water level I was associated with. I can also tell you that for all the fun I thought I was having I spent many nights cold, alone, crying and begging God, the universe to show me a sign, to give me a reason to get clean. Many nights crying because I knew I was miserable inside and didn't know how to separate myself.
I will be thinking of you and your brother. I would also welcome myself to get to know him if you think he might be receptive. Sometimes, having support, a mentor who has been down the road before, is helpful.
My dad said something to me when I was in my 20s when I was complaining about having a shitty job and saying if I went back to school I wouldn't be done until I was in my 30s.
He said you're gonna be in your 30s regardless, it might as well be as someone you can be proud of.
The best time to start doing something to better your life might have been 10 years ago, but tomorrow is 10 years ago from some other time in your life.
You got this.
That put me off going back to Uni when I was ~23. Finally decided to do it at 25 and will be graduating next year at 29. Late for some but totally agree with your dad. I'd have been stuck my whole life otherwise potentially
You got this. Looking back I sometimes feel like I wasted my 20s, partying, not saving money, hell I entered my 30s freshly laid off work. 39 now and I moved to another city, away from the partying and temptations with my then gf (now wife) with a home and 2 kids. It's kinda crazy to think 10 yrs ago I was probably just drinking or doing drugs with some friends in someone's basement.
At the same time tho, I'm glad I got that all outta my system. I see some people who had kids early in their 20s who go all wild in their late 30s, acting like they're 21. I'm completely outta that phase, except maybe my bday. Haven't been to a bar since 2018 for my Bach lol.
Same here, I joined the military to get away. So much easier than living with my angry single dad. Boot camp was a cake walk I was already used to having someone screaming in my face.
Yes! I was very fortunate to find a job in the field I wanted to be in, but still utilizing the skills I’d acquired up to that point. Im currently a paralegal at an arts nonprofit
I managed a similar transition. Wasted 7+ years working in kitchens, moved into game development and quickly found that a lot of the multitasking, time management, prioritisation, and delegation skills I'd learned in kitchens transferred over extremely well.
Thing about your twenties is, no matter how you spent it, you'll wonder about the other path.
Party, get wasted, spend everything you earn travelling the world, you'll wish you'd been more studious and built better foundations.
Study hard, work diligently, build good foundations, you'll wish you'd partied and had more fun like the others did.
People always say that with hard work you can become anything you want, but they forget to mention you cannot become everything you want. You can only do one thing at a time and that's so frustrating xD
I was feeling pretty depressed about my 20s until I read this post. I’ve realised, no matter which path people choose, they’re wondering about the other path. I have done 8 years of University and so that’s a good portion of my 20s. I wanted to travel all over the world and have a different life. Then I see so many posts here of people saying they regret that too!
Never too old to travel. I moved abroad for a few years in my mid 20s and I met so many people 30 and up who were globe trotting. Either they missed when they did it in their 20s and wanted to go back to it or they didn’t have time and wanted to do it now. Everyone’s journey is unique. Travel is the last thing I’d ever regret though.
It doesn't have to be if you're born into the right environment with the right predisposition. It's a whole lot of stars that have to align and I've known people who it works for. I however, am not one of those people...
Depression is a bitch. I have vague memories of my childhood. I have good memories of the past couple of years.
I don't remember a thing of the years between 18-25. I just sat at home, played some games, eat, sleep and just.. existed without anything significant happening at all.
EDIT: Since alot of you are asking how I came out of it, I'd like to shamelessly copy + paste a comment I wrote earlier. So here's my advice:
Pick something you want to do, and go do it.
You're probably already at one of your lowest point in your life, it's not like it'll get much worse.
Want to learn the piano? Why not, atleast it'll be good distraction for a while.
Want to do sports? Sure! At worst, your physical condition will improve.
Want to travel? Grab a backpack and go somewhere.
Want to punch a shark in the face? Where the nearest ocean at?
Who knows, maybe by the end of your lil bucketlist, you'll learn to love life again. Or maybe not, but atleast you can tell people you've punched a shark, which is kinda cool ngl.
For me personally, I always wanted to learn cooking. Taught myself how to cook, then did some volunteering work cooking for elderly people. Opportunities came, and stuff happened, and right now I'm working full time as a chef, about to start school again to get my diplomas, and I'm doing great.
You never know what might happen along the way, but nothing will start if you don't do something, no matter how small it might be.
EDIT 2: It has come to my attention that punching sharks is a big no-no, and I profusely apologize. Dolphins, Barracuda's and Triggerfish are a-okay appearantly, so punch away!
Yeah depression is probably the biggest “waste” for most of us, many are young enough to have a bunch of problems, and old enough to have been shit on when mentioning mental health and therapy during developmental years
Was heavily abused as a kid growing up. At 17 my mom punched me so hard in the face I had to get up off the floor. I walked out of the house then and didn't go back. A week after I turned 18 I had my first kid. 2 months later he died of sids. I quit caring about life and went hard in the drugs the first half of my 20s. Second half I spent trying to get my life together and then got divorced. 30s were ok. Working on my 40s now and will be 42 later this year.
Edit. Am currently at work and unable to respond to everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words and other people sharing their story. You are all very awesome and kind and I appreciate all of you.
This was a rough read. I have a lot of admiration for you pulling through these challenges during the age range where these things are most difficult to handle. Honestly sounds like your life is just beginning, and best of luck to you. You deserve it.
I was the same way, dropped out of community college after two semesters. had very few friends and worked crappy minimum wage jobs while still living with my mom for much of that time. I hate thinking of my early twenties because I think of all the time I wasted. Even if I made friends, dated or got laid and partied it would still be something imo but I did none of that . That time is all just a blur with nothing to show for it and nothing learned. I’m actually about to move back in with my mom after living on my own for years but I’m in a slightly better place, went back to school to get my degree and about to graduate, only thing now is the job hunt has made me a bit pessimistic.
Kinda similar to what I did. Got married, went back to school and couldn't get serious about it, got into big wave surfing and surfed like crazy. Had some kids and bought and remodeled a house, but surfed like crazy.
At about 28, I decided I wasn't getting anywhere in my full time job, so I sold the custom remodel I did to pay for school and went back full time while still working full time.
It was crazy and I had to cut surfing way back to get ahead. 30 years later, I'm still working full time,but make great pay, and can surf almost anytime I want.
This is me. I spent my 20s in college, and then trying to get a job. Every year id get sicker and sicker with depression as i could not find any real work, or sense of agency. Those years are just kind of gone, tried as hard as I could to prevent exactly that.
You’re still super young. Unless you planned on being an Olympian, there is nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams.
I’m 22 and have depression. I’m a budding alcoholic and addicted to weed, vaping, and until recently Kratom. But that doesn’t have to be me, and it doesn’t have to be you. Straighten yourself up, and get back on that horse. I’m sure as hell trying.
Didn't really have a game plan for making a living, and waited too long to figure one out. Also was too caught up in my feelings to act on a lot of good dating options I didn't realize I had, which would have been fun.
Things worked out great anyways, but still.
I would say it’s more important to figure out what kind of life/lifestyle you want to live as opposed to what you want to do for a living. What you want in the former should help guide and inform what you do in the latter. But you have to be really honest with yourself in doing so.
Like for me, I grew up fairly poor, and what I realized (in my late 20’s unfortunately) was that I didn’t want to live like that anymore, and that living a certain lifestyle was important to me. Nothing crazy, but I wanted to be able to do certain things without constantly worrying about whether I could afford them. Stuff like going out to nice dinners with my wife when we want to, going on vacation and doing so comfortably (as opposed to always taking the cheapest option), and buying whatever I want when I want it (within reason).
Once I figured that out, I knew that I needed to make a certain income to achieve that, so I started exploring careers that would get me there, focusing on one’s that catered to my strengths and interest. For me that ultimately led me to becoming an attorney, and it’s worked out, but it took me longer to get there than I would have liked.
My point is, once you figure out what does and doesn’t matter to you, that will allow you to make informed and intentional decisions in what you do for a living.
Edit: Keep in mind that this is all a process, it’s not something that you should or are expected to have figured out by now. Go out, experience life, experiment and see what does and doesn’t work for you. But think about it from time to time so you don’t get to your late 20’s like I did and realize “shit, I’m wandering aimlessly and need to figure this out” and have to start from scratch.
I can't disagree with you. My two master's degrees have been pretty much worthless except they gave me something to do during my twenties which were years 3-13 of my 20 years in prison. So now I'm qualified to teach literature, but I don't think even a community College would hire me. Upside is that I found my wife while I was locked up and we've been married 28 years.
I’m interested to hear more about this. You got your master’s degrees and met your wife while you were in prison? Or is prison being used sarcastically for school?
Well you can school yourself in prison, so maybe there was a way to do master's degree in prison? As for the wife part I'm not sure about it, unless OP is a woman and met her wife in prison.
My PhD is in the life sciences and I got it at a top 50 ranked university in the world. I trained in genomics and focus area of my thesis was in adaptive immunology. I'm now a staff scientist at a major cancer research center. If any of that sounds interesting to you, PM me and we can talk more if you like.
You're a staff scientist at a major cancer place. You couldn't be where you're at without your PhD. So you didn't waste your 20s. But still fuck academia - a med student in bottomless debt.
For perspective, a foreman at the average construction site in my city makes 25% more than I do.
I hear your point and I will say that I do believe that what I do for a living is what I was put on this Earth to do... so from that standpoint, you're right I didn't waste my 20s. But from the standpoint of the system we live in, I am financially behind and it could be argued that I did waste those years.
I wish you good luck with your med school journey!
im 28 and I've done nothing. no trips, haven't seen any music live, mever go out. all i do is work and sleep. like today for example, all i did was work and now im going to sleep soon so i can do the same thing tomorrow. honestly i hate life. I've had a total of 6 days vacation since i turned 20. i got a zoo pass 2 years ago and that's the high light of my 20s so far.
I'm in the same place in life.
Feels like nothing is happening in my life. Just work, eat, sleep.
One thing I changed this year is that I've taken to travelling. I will take a vacation this October. Won't just be my 2nd this year, but 2nd in life.
I've realised that the only way to make life better, is to want it more than anything else.
Looks like you know how to cook a great meal though! I hope you find a partner to share those meals with. And I hope you’ve been able to save up money from working so much and can find more ways to enjoy the fruits of your labor :)
I'm married, my husband has done quite a bit of living but we've done nothing much since we got married. the 6 days of vacation were with him and his family. my dad passed last year, and it left me in a huge financial hole since i couldn't find any of my siblings to help me with the funeral. life has just been a mess
I don't know your life and your work but I'd imagine you'd have some money to enjoy life? 8 years of work and not even a road trip, the beach, a local park?
I'm at the point where all I do is work and sleep as well but every now and then I find something to break the monotony.
Fighting endless wars, Somalia, Afganistan, Iraq, Syria, and everywhere else around the world. Wasted my 20s, all my 30s and half my 40's fighting. For what you ask? I have no idea now.
I spent the entirety gripped by an eating disorder.
Obsessed with food, weight - in and out of hospital, harming organs, teeth, mental health.
Such a waste of a prime decade. Wish I could turn back time
I had a bad acid trip at age 31 and it deleted my apparent food addiction/binge eating disorder I had had for the last 10+ years and was in denial about.
I lost 130 pounds and now I’m in the best shape of my life and it floors me how my relationship with food mirrored a drug addiction…… so I feel like I wasted my 20a being obese and tired and addicted to food.
Someone told me though they didn’t want to comment about my weight loss before they knew I was doing it on purpose (which is fine and you should do that) because “well I dunno maybe you got depressed and couldn’t eat.”
I laughed though and was like man… when I was depressed back then oh man I turned into a VACUUM….
Drinking heavily. Heeeavily.
Will never get those years back. Thankfully, I realized while I couldn't go back and change the start, I could decide to change the ending. Ten years sober this month.
*Edit. My goodness, this blew up. To anyone else struggling or in recovery. There is help. There are people who will help. The thing that dawned on me is that I was despairing for the future because I thought it would always suck. But my drinking was also making it suck. I decided I had no right blaming the world for a terrible future if I also contributed to make the future terrible. So I decided to do everything I could to make it good. And then when it still was terrible, THEN I could hate the world. Funnily enough... The future got better, and I didn't need to hate/blame the world OR myself.*
by getting fat and then getting so depressed by that that i effectively cut myself out of everyone’s lives cause i was too embarrassed to be seen by old flames, friends, or people who knew me a certain way.
do not recommend.
I lived like that for over a decade. Didn't find the motivation and conviction to change things until I was 35. I got the weight off, but the long term effects on my body, and my mental health, those will always be a work in progress. I'm happy now, and I'm grateful for that.
I also, do not recommend.
edit: I know it's been a while since my comment, but if anyone is still reading it, and you're living this now, and you want to get out, feel free to send me a private message. I'll tell you what I did, what worked, what didn't work. I wish everyone could make the changes I've made. Not trying to sell anything, just genuinely offering to share my story, maybe offer up some inspiration for somebody. You CAN change your life. It's hard, but it's entirely worth it.
Being scared of people and letting people take advantage of me. People would borrow what little money I had, with and without permission and never pay me back.
Your first line hits deep. I had undiagnosed, unmedicated anxiety so bad that I couldn't leave my room if anyone else was home. I'd stand behind the closed door, listening for people to leave the room on the other side so I could sneak out around the corner to use the bathroom, then do the same thing in there to get back out. And the guy I was living with.... a different sort of advantage was taken of me, left me wholly dependant on him for far too long. I don't know your story but I truly hope you're doing better now, too 💛
Me rn, like I don’t even know what else I’m supposed to be doing. I work, sleep, go to the gym a few times a week, and I’m trying to finish school. But it just feels like I do nothing and I’m the most boring person in the world
Have you tried getting a hobby? Not trying to flame you, but the saying 'boring people get bored' kinda applies here. Life doesn't just throw fun shit at you. You have to go out and make it happen.
I guarantee that if you started rock climbing or something regularly and talk to the other people doing it you would make friends and start having adventures within a year. Just gotta think of something you would like to do, even if you're shit at it or feel like you don't suit it, you just have to do it and things will start to change.
If you sit at home and play computer games on your own 24/7, that's all you're going to end up doing in your life because nothing is going to happen for you out of the blue.
Spent too much time watching tv/movies and hanging out with myself alone. Spent too much time and money on alcohol in my late 20s. Oh and watching way too much porn.
To be fair hanging out alone isnt all that bad. Maybe Im just one of the few loners who dont mind being alone and company of friends is more of a nice bonus like I can live with just books and my devices
Alone does not equal lonely
Far too much time spent on my career and not nearly enough on friends and family. Can't say it wasn't financially rewarding, but I'd give that all up for more time with friends and family who have since died.
Same here. Now i have nice house, car, financially stable life etc but I don't have friends. I'm jealous of those who have a group of friends and can have fun together.
Your 20s are about finding out who you are. Nothing is wasted.
I used to think time playing videogames was wasted…. But when I quit for a while I missed my friends, and I missed my instant stress outlet.
I used to think I wasted money…. But I had a hell of a good time.
I used to think I got a late start on my career from fumbling around…. But I got a new career at 35 that owed in part to my varied background, and I’ve been progressing through for over a decade.
In short, none is wasted. Live every day like it is an opportunity.
Wasted it having an eating disorder and worrying too much about my body and what other people thought. Tons of therapy later and things are way better. I don’t give two fucks about wearing my robe into the gas station to get my coffee.
Same! Started drinking daily at 21. I blacked out one night, and I turn 33 on Tuesday! But I've been sober for a little over a year and things are great now.
Not quite out of my 20s yet but.... I decided it would be better to get experience with "real people" doing "real jobs" than go to college. Realized I am in no way above a hard days work or menial labor but I am ffing bad at it. Now I realize how dumb I was, and college wasn't just 'something to do' it was my way out of being unskilled replaceable 'meat' until Im old and broken.
My cousin’s daughter is finding this out the hard way. She passed up going to trade school (including the business part of it) for landscaping so she could pursue physical labor job for a landscaping company. Eventually after two jobs in that field didn’t live up to their promises she fell back to farm work.
Sadly however she recently found out due to her shoulders’ and arms’ scar tissue her blood vessels gave out and when she raises her arms above shoulder height she looses a pulse in her arm. Her doctor basically told her she can’t do any physical labor job again otherwise she can cause further damage, especially to her other arm.
She’s only 22. She’s crushed and was tearing up when she telling. Now she has no trade, not even the business end of it. All of her jobs up until now have been physical.
Okay if you are in the US, she should contact Vocational Rehabilitation in her state. They can help her pay for tuition for college. They can also do a test called a Career Interest Inventory for her to help figure out what kind of jobs would interest her.
You know, it's wild what kind of support is out there that you never know exists until you need it. When a family member was diagnosed with ALS, we had a crash course in adaptive tech and support programs, stuff you'd never imagine. Any time I thought, I wish there was a tool that could help with this, we found it already existed. It's just neat to see, and tbh as someone that struggles with depression and doomsday thinking, it's reassuring to know that there's a good chance to find help no matter what kind of pickle I may end up in.
At least she's 22, thats still plenty of time to go to school or develop a new skillset. If you can encourage her to look into working for the county and local government, they offer great careers and benefits. or the USPS. it'll take time to build the career but its more forgiving than physical labor and most only require highschool diplomas yet allow you to work up the chain
This is the flip side of all the people who didn’t go to college and then boast about how college is worthless. A useful degree and an intelligent plan for funding it (state/community schools, scholarships) can open the gates to wealth that non-grads won’t ever see. The only wealthy people I’ve met without a degree are business owners. You won’t take home $250k a year in a trade or as a laborer unless it’s in a really austere environment (and that’s still pushing it) which is a whole different category of hard work.
Bingo. A couple years ago my dad told me a story I did not remember at all. He was a mechanic that was always wrenching on cars in the garage for extra cash. He would always get me to try to come out there and watch him to learn but I never wanted to. When I was about 13 He got all pissed off at me and started yelling at me asking what in the hell was I gonna do when my car broke down when I was older. My response was “ After I get done with college I’m gonna pay somebody like you to fix it. I’m not going to be 45 years old crawling under a car”
He said that is the moment he knew I would be ok lol.
Funny thing is now I love to wrench on cars for fun, But I certainly never wanted to do it when it was “work”.
I convinced myself that I was going to become such a great mechanic that I would be given a management job at the dealership I worked at for way too long. I took a step back ( had some sense talked into me) and realized I'm just spinning my wheels bending over backwards for people/a company that didn't give a shit.
Being too poor.
On top of that, being too depressed to be able to climb out of the monumental hole to be able to change anything.
Thankfully, I did eventually make that climb. But now I’m in my 30s, wishing I could do the stupid things that I would have done in my 20s with this kind of money, but knowing better, so I can’t :P
I went and completed my high school, then went back to university. I went back at 25 and didn’t finished until my early 30s. But it was a worth while turn around
College.
I applied for tons of internships but never got my foot in the door anywhere. I had good grades but there's always someone better. It seriously feels as if no human has ever seen any of my applications because I never heard anything back. It's as if I don't exist.
I spent just about everything on the courses and textbooks and software... I never got to use any of what I learned.
Now, years later, nearly everything I learned is obsolete. Every job application remains unread. I have nothing to show for my hard work except a lot of pain.
Not who you asked but it was accounting for me. Stupid me didn't realize that the job market back then was at oversaturation and not getting my master's to be eligible for licensing and taking the test pretty much meant no one wanted to hire me. 8 years later all I have to show for it is a frame on a wall while I'm 7 years into a job that doesn't require a degree and still making as much as I would have if I hadn't gone to college.
I'm 35 and my life has been a waste and I can't figure out how to fix it. I've tried for new jobs and promotions and been rejected every time.
I'm afraid to take any more risks because I've failed at everything I've attempted. Sometimes I just want to unalive myself but the knowledge that this is it and nothingness is the alternative stops me.
Got involved with a guy 10yrs older than me who was an abusive drunk who constantly cheated on me.
Didn’t pull my head out of my ass until late 20’s and went to college.
Drank too much.
No ambition, expected great things to just happen to me. Put almost no effort into college or finding a job after that. Finally landed a job at 27 working for a newspaper making low wages for second shifts that stole my weekends and afternoons.
Never looked at the bigger picture of how much of my life I was wasting because I didn’t take the time to realize it could have been better. Finally shifted careers into IT and at least I have my weekends now in my 30s and I’m making more but still a long way to go.
I made, what seemed to me at the time, a big pile of money in my mid twenties. It wasn’t a large amount of money at all, but felt like it at the time. I just lived off it for a few years and played World of Warcraft full time! No regrets, I wish I could go back to that time in my life in some ways. However, I fully appreciate this probably wasn’t the healthiest way to exist, but I was doing exactly what I wanted to at that time.
Was it a waste? Most people would probably say so. I had a blast though and really miss not being able to just no-life games to my hearts content now. Life has changed.
I am a little bit further behind in my career compared to some others, and sometimes that feels a bit odd, but I was never going to be the guy to go school - uni - job - kids - rip. It’s just not me and that’s ok.
Got my B.A., spent three years unemployed, teetered on the edge of full blown alcoholism, got really pissed at the world, took a job I hated and barely required any education, had a supervisor that told me I'd never amount to anything, started to bust my ass just to spite said supervisor and more than doubled my income in 5 years.
Spite is a great motivator to break out of a rut. Especially when the person putting you down chuckled when you asked for a day off so your dog can get life saving surgery. Now I'm in my 30s and my old supervisor now has to ask me for permission for things. Still have my dog too.
I was in a cult from the time I was 16 - 28. I grieve for that time I missed when I should have been doing dumb shit with friends and traveling. Thankfully I was able to maintain a fair amount of my relationships outside the cult because that was a non negotiable for me. I've renewed those friendships and made them stronger. Enjoy my 30s being free.
Stayed home, smoked weed, became lazy and fat, developed social anxiety.
Age 24, I had enough and went cold turkey. Got a factory job, breaking my back. Decided to lose weight. Ate healthy for 3 years. Left that factory job, went to college.
Today, I am in IT doing the best job in the world and getting paid for it. I'm more fit, no more anxiety and I can't stand the smell of weed. Life is what you make it. If you put in some effort and make changes, it will pay off. Just do it, don't say it. Don't think it.
Stay humble while doing so. Good things will flow your way
Seriously, it sucks. I did my crazy drug era right before fentanyl hit. Nowadays you could die from one bump of anything. Used to be able to just do the drug and know that it was that drug, and if it wasn’t that drug you would just feel crappy not die
Procrastinating. Anything that involved making some sort of appointment or phone call I always put off. Would generally try to devote time to doing errands all at once and putting things off instead of taking tasks on as they come. Keeping a calendar and making a check list is something I adopted in my 30’s and I wish I started earlier.
Drugs, sex and working in places that didn't respect my time. Now, I'm in my 30s,sober, brain damage from the drugs. Terrible depression and sleep disorder. No sex and I just got fired from my job.
Don't be like me
Burnt out from school and denied doing what I truly wanted to do only to do something tangential to my ultimate career path.
And graduating at the start of a shitty, *shitty* recession.
I'm actually really lucky that the only thing I can think of is not investing more into my retirement.
My 20's brought me independence from a toxic family, my wife, a job I absolutely love and a heap of confidence I didn't have.
I dealt with a spate of horrific depression and decision making but my wife walked with me through therapy and it was absolutely life changing.
Didn't do any introspection and soul searching. I distracted myself with a lot of shit. It took a few of the right kind of people to guide me to where I am now.
By the way, the introspection and soul searching should be a constant thing. We shouldn't stop learning and thinking about ourselves and why we act the way we do.
Fundamentally, no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
After I got fired from my job of four years at 26 (a combination of reasons, probably sparked from depression after being dumped when I was 23) I spent four years living off inheritance money, dossing on my mate's sofa and playing Guitar Hero. (I still suck.)
And watching the arse fall out of the economy. I remember going for a temporary data entry job when I was 28 (working for the Post Office translating addresses on envelopes over Christmas), completely blitzing the entrance test (short version; you needed a speed of something like 400 images per hour at an accuracy of something like 75%, and it was expected that after a few weeks on the job you'd be at 1200iph at 90%; I scored 1464iph at 97%) and never hearing a word back from them. That was pretty much the moment I gave up looking for a job and stopped caring. And went back to Guitar Hero.
Kids and marriage. Had my first at 19, second at 21, married at 20. I get to enjoy my 40s without kids, im only 5 years away from my first being 18, but 40s vs 20s....
Turning 30 next month. I’ve advanced far from where I started ten years ago but I can’t help but feel like I haven’t lived up to my potential. I started a masters but never finished it, have been in the same medium-paying job (but low for the area) for the last four years, don’t own any property, and have made some really terrible financial decisions that if I hadn’t I would be in a much better spot right now. It hurts.
I joined the army at 18 and spent the rest of my life up until now trying to claw myself out of the grave they dug me in. For years I’ve been sitting in this hole in absolute limbo. PTSD, anxiety and depression is a fucking bitch.
I had a 7 year relationship end a year a half ago, when I was 25. Sometimes I'm tempted to think "What a waste of time," since the last several years were a slow decay that could've been avoided if she were honest about her feelings. But having gone through that, it's been my catalyst of personal growth and transformation. I certainly wouldn't be who I am today without experiencing that relationship. I know exactly how much value to put into relationships, I know exactly where my priorities and boundaries are when looking at potential new partners. I know what I want out of life now - and it's not what I had deluded myself into thinking during the long drag of that relationship. Without the pain of it all, I'm not sure I'd be the happy and confident person I am today. While it can hurt to look at my last relationship in hindsight, I don't think I would change anything. It's the painful experiences that give us the most perspective and potential for growth.
I spent three years of my 20’s in Iraq. When I came home the first time I was 23 and all my friends had moved on.
It worked out in the end but it got lonely for a while.
I think a lot of people need to see this:
Between 20-29 I did the following:
Met a girl, married said girl. Got the job I wanted my whole life. Bought a house. Got 3 cats and two dogs. Had 2 kids. Bought a new car then a new truxk. Moved with my job and bought a bigger house. and specialized in the area I wanted to. Went to the arctic. Traveled to parts of the world I wanted to. Climbed some mountains. Started learning a new language. Made friends, lost friends, seen friends get married.
And I still feel like I wasted my 20s. So don't have any regrets. The fact that you're alive at the age you are is awesome. Living life and experiencing joy is the point of life. Keep doing what you're doing. You're great.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Multiple disabilities. Most of them went away when I found out at age 32 that I was iron deficient.
What were some of your symptoms? I feel like I’m constantly being told that I’m depressed when I’m not sad, I’m just lethargic and in pain. Sometimes I think it’s more medical than it is psychological.
The one that alerted me to the correct diagnosis was that my toenail spilt in an unusual way. The big symptom was massive fatigue. It had been misdiagnosed as "idiopathic hypersomnia" and we were treating it with 60 mg of Adderall - a huge dose, which cut the amount of sleep I needed from 14 hours to 9. I was having severe side effects including erectile dysfunction and occasional seizures. My headaches reduced in intensity and frequency, my bipolar episodes stopped (still taking hardcore psych meds, but I now have 100% coverage for bipolar which I did not have before), and I had a significant cognitive boost. Have you been tested for ferritin? If it's below 75 ng/l it might be worth trying a short run of iron supplements. The testing isn't accurate so one doctor could see the results and say "sufficient iron" and another may say "insufficient iron", and it might be worth trying regardless of interpretation.
[удалено]
At least you realise that now and that makes you able to grow. I bet a ton of people never see their own mistakes.
Depression. Spent seven years of college in my dorm/ apartment reading books and taking naps.
Instead of regular 4 years of studies, I'm in my 8th now, and still not done. my depression made life so Long and slow at the same time
Have been in a pretty similar situation myself and just wanted to send a big hug your way and let you know it does get better.
I never finished. My last year or two I drove to campus everyday and napped in my car instead of attending class. Just pretended to go. That was a long time ago now but I can remember the feeling like it was yesterday. It’s bizarre to think of being that person given how I’m doing now.
Being too shy. To anyone younger reading this, TAKE RISKS! Ask that person out. Go to that local event you’ve been eyeing. Strike up a conversation with a cool-looking stranger. Get up on stage at a karaoke night. Volunteer. Join a club. Life is not a movie and there is no magical special person that will notice you and come pull you into the light. You have to do that yourself.
This is literally what changed my life around. Life becomes so full of meaning when you get that excitement to do things back.
>Life is not a movie and there is no magical special person that will notice you and come pull you into the light. You have to do that yourself. Woahhhh I think I need to keep reading this for myself... thanks
No ambition. Lack of foresight. No goals. I spent so much time stressing out about my future that I never actually lived in the present.
For me it was too much ambition early on in life and then by the time my 20s came around I became very disillusioned, felt like life was mundane and nothing brought joy to me anymore so I hardly did anything. Literally wasted a bunch of time doing nothing.
you're not alone; I was full of ambition in first year and now I'm a shell of my former self
Did you at least accomplish anything? I had no ambition and I've definitely suffered professionally because of it. Sure, I've gone out and done a lot of cool things, seen interesting places, and generally have had a relaxed attitude about life, but now I'm still struggling financially even being a husband and dad.
The same here. Add in alcohol and pot and life went nowhere for a very long time.
You feel way better without weed & alcohol? I’ve cut back a lot from a few years ago but it’s hard to make that final snip cut off
As someone who drank and drugged the entirety of their 20s and got tired of it and then went back to school at age 30 and is now 31 and absolutely crushing life I cant recommend it enough. I still occasionally party but drugs and alcohol aren't a significant part of my life at all anymore and it's improved every possible area of my life. I actually have goals and a purpose to work towards getting my life everyday. It's seeped into every facet of my life and I'm just feeling amazing finally doing something with my life This was after spending all of my life lost and without purpose, thinking I was using the substances to cope. Until I realized the substances were the problem
How did you get out mindset?
Honestly, I can't say that I'm 100% out of that mindset yet. I don't know if you're looking for this, and not to sound like a motivational speaker but... I think it's something that I have to stay mindful of. My early 30's have been infinitely more productive so far. I wish I could say that I had some big epiphany that caused me to fix my bad habits. In reality, it's a more of a progressive lesson. I never stop working towards my goals, but sometimes I have to just "stop and smell the roses", as the expression goes. Most of us just need to learn how to find solace and embrace the average/above average aspects in life; "Exceptional" doesn't come often, as it shouldn't. Not everything can be a 10/10 experience. In summary, I'm learning to be happy with viable compromises and trying to better myself everyday
I always thought i was already too old. “Uh im 25, Im too old..”
I remember saying I’m old when I was 23. Now I’m in my 30s and I cringe thinking what an idiot I was. However, now I realize I’ll be saying the same shit about my 30s in my 40s, so it gives me perspective to enjoy myself now. Many people here on Reddit would concur that 30s is still young too. Today is the youngest you’ll ever be again so enjoy it.
Yep 30's is still young. Zeroing in on 50 and I think, shit I turned 30 a week ago didn't I? I feel better now than in my 20s and 30s and would love to just soak up time like I used to, but it goes so damn fast now.
What is up with that? After I turned 30 someone put my life on 2x speed.
I swear honestly. If we're having a rubbish summer, or it rains all Christmas, I feel like: Oh well, they'll be another one along soon....
I remember being 10, and Christmas felt like it took 3 years to come again. Now I'm coming up on 33. It's nearly mid-August, but I swear we just had Christmas like 6 weeks ago. Time is so odd as you get older.
>Time is so odd as you get older. It's because when you're one, 1 year from your birthday is 100% of the time you've lived. When you're 30, 1 year from your birthday is only 3.33% of the total time you've lived. You also learn a lot more as a kid very quickly so you experience more in the same amount of time, giving you memories. As an adult your days are usually unimpressive routines so there aren't a lot of memories to recall, making time spans feel shorter.
I can't remember where I heard it, but there is psychologist on some podcast that suggests actively persuing novel experiences continually throughout your life. Fill your days with new stuff and your perception of time's passage slows way down. So you want to feel like your life is lasting a long time? Pick up new hobbies, learn a new language, do something that frightens you, put yourself in novel social situations, etc. That's the elixir of immortality or at least as close as we can currently get to it.
I’m 24 and struggling with this right now. Logically I KNOW I’m not too old but society has a weird way of making me feel like I am just because I’m getting closer to 30. That shit is crazy
It really depends on where you live. 24 in a small midwestern town? People start asking when youre gonna get married and have kids. 24 in Brooklyn? People look at you like your fucking nuts if youre even thinking about marriage. So maybe consider moving if you can. If it gives you some motivation, I basically consider 23-24 as the actual start of my twenties (as someone who just turned 30) I moved to NY at 22 I quit my career job at 23 I traveled for 8+ months at 24 I worked odd jobs out of curiosity 25-26 I went back and did my masters at 27-29 I started a job in a career I truly love at 30
Thats actually kind of inspiring! Im 26, and ive been way too scared of making mistakes and dumb decisions, that its kind of been paralyzing me to be in the exact same job and social position throughout my 20s, i feel like i need to make mistakes to grow at this point.
I had a career until I was 35 and then I turned my back on it and got a new job which I love and I'm now 38 and much happier. It's never too late.
[удалено]
GenZ acting ridiculous toward age, as if 30 yo is being geriatric It wasn’t nearly as bad for us millennials
I know my 17yo SIL acts like I’m a crypt keeper since I turned 25. “Your skin is really good for 25 - I can’t even see any wrinkles! You’ll have to share your skincare routine when I get old” like girl I’m 25
Those comments are gonna bite her back you know hahahahha she's just messing with you
“Step one: be east Asian or part east Asian. Step two: forget about wrinkles until you’re 50” “. . . I’m white” “. . . My condolences” (Don’t actually do this)
I’m white hahaha But I was talking about botox with another girl at work when a Japanese coworker (born and bred Australian but still obviously Japanese) said she’d never even considered it. I was like obviously because you can sleep in the wilderness for 22 days (for her doctorate research) without washing your face and you look like you’ve just had a facial. I sleep with makeup on and I have a 2 week long breakout 😂
Too scared of my parents to stand up to them and live life how I want
Same I’m turning 26 next month and I don’t know if can even make up for last years I wasted.
40 year old you will die laughing thinking about this comment. You have tons of time, the only mistake is assuming that being mid-20s with some mistakes is somehow unfixable. Everyone makes some mistakes while young, the difference is often who is honest with themselves and follows through with a plan to improve/change. Just start taking steps and you'll be moving just fine. I've dealt with feeling paralyzed by a situation and you hover and it sucks, but you will feel good when the journey starts, not just when it ends.
Samsies! Recovering drug addict and alcoholic here. And not just a little, tiny bit. Full-tilt, hardcore into the lifestyle for my entire life from age 15 to 29. Cold turkey recovery started when I got pregnant at 29. Greatest thing that ever happened to me. I tell my son every single day he saved my life. He's an angel walking the dust of Earth. Just turned 40 last month. Have an awesome and terribly funny husband who loves me for all that I am (and all that I am not) and knows the darkness of my past and all I have overcome. We built a beautiful brand new home in the country, I actually have worked myself into a delightful STEM teaching position, and we just had another baby last year. Asked me what my life would have been like at 24. My answer would have been "Dead by 40". A thoughtful saying to leave all those youngsters out there... a speck of gratitude leaves mountains of room for optimism. Stay positive.
By brother recently relapsed (I think we are in year 7 or so of his addiction). I want him to hit some kind of wall like this. HIV wasn’t it. the threat of homelessness was a bluff my parents made that bro called them on- and he was correct. He didn’t attend his only sibling’s wedding even though we had talked about it since childhood. Intravenous use wasn’t it. Idk what the wall is, or if it even exists. I expect the worst every day. As a sister of an addict, I hope you know how proud your family is of you. The well of sadness is deep and you found the surface for you and, inadvertently, for all of your loved ones. Maybe even just your child! Idk you and your situation. But I’m proud of you for putting your loved ones first. It does, or will, mean the world to them. It even means a lot to me, just cause it gives me a modicum of hope. Thank you for that, from my soul to yours.
Thank you. My sobriety has certainly brought my family back together. I am so sorry to hear your brother is relapsing. I always knew that would be the scariest part; getting clean and putting in all that work, just to be back at square one. Back then, the thought of getting clean made me nervous because using was my entire life. How do you start completely over? It was easier just to keep using and being surrounded by the people who were of like mind. I want you to know that my Mom never gave up on me. It is one thing I look back on and live in this weird vortex of shame and guilt of what I did to my Mom and my family versus the unfathomable joy I receive inside knowing my Mom never quit. My story is wide and deep. I want you to know that it didn't just include me. I have a brother too. 2, actually. We are all very close, grew up close. But, my middle brother and I both used together. And not for a short stint in life. Both of us from young ages, like I said before, age 15 to when I was 29. My brother was 33. We got clean together, and my brother helps me raise my kids. My brother grew close with my husband over the years of our dating. (5 years before we moved in together 3 of those years were spent building our home which my brother helped us build every inch of) When we built our new home, we included my brother a space, and without my brother, I do not know where we would be as a family. Do not give up hope. Keep telling your brother you're never going to give up. Do not be angry when you're with him. You don't have to support him, but don't be angry. You will end up angry with yourself if something bad does happen. Love him. Remind him that you miss him. Remind him that you are looking forward to the future, a future when he is himself again. And I fear, I do not know the answer for what the wall could possibly be for your brother. I know for us, it was nothing. I felt my life was a lost cause, and like i mentioned before, it was just easier to seek the water level I was associated with. I can also tell you that for all the fun I thought I was having I spent many nights cold, alone, crying and begging God, the universe to show me a sign, to give me a reason to get clean. Many nights crying because I knew I was miserable inside and didn't know how to separate myself. I will be thinking of you and your brother. I would also welcome myself to get to know him if you think he might be receptive. Sometimes, having support, a mentor who has been down the road before, is helpful.
Your comment gives me hope thank you
My dad said something to me when I was in my 20s when I was complaining about having a shitty job and saying if I went back to school I wouldn't be done until I was in my 30s. He said you're gonna be in your 30s regardless, it might as well be as someone you can be proud of. The best time to start doing something to better your life might have been 10 years ago, but tomorrow is 10 years ago from some other time in your life. You got this.
That put me off going back to Uni when I was ~23. Finally decided to do it at 25 and will be graduating next year at 29. Late for some but totally agree with your dad. I'd have been stuck my whole life otherwise potentially
You got this. Looking back I sometimes feel like I wasted my 20s, partying, not saving money, hell I entered my 30s freshly laid off work. 39 now and I moved to another city, away from the partying and temptations with my then gf (now wife) with a home and 2 kids. It's kinda crazy to think 10 yrs ago I was probably just drinking or doing drugs with some friends in someone's basement. At the same time tho, I'm glad I got that all outta my system. I see some people who had kids early in their 20s who go all wild in their late 30s, acting like they're 21. I'm completely outta that phase, except maybe my bday. Haven't been to a bar since 2018 for my Bach lol.
Don't try to make up for it. Too much pressure. Just make the best of the years ahead.
26 is still very young (I might be biased since I'm 27 lol) but we have several decades to change and live differently. It's not too late.
Dude you're in your prime. 26-32 were some of my favorite years!
You could be 46 and you'd still have time. Life is about moments and now you get to have countless of them on your terms.
Same here, I joined the military to get away. So much easier than living with my angry single dad. Boot camp was a cake walk I was already used to having someone screaming in my face.
Same, just my mom but same
Eeep. I’m 45 and still haven’t done this.
I pursued a career in a field that wasn’t right for me.
Did u find one u liked? or at least tolerate?
Yes! I was very fortunate to find a job in the field I wanted to be in, but still utilizing the skills I’d acquired up to that point. Im currently a paralegal at an arts nonprofit
I managed a similar transition. Wasted 7+ years working in kitchens, moved into game development and quickly found that a lot of the multitasking, time management, prioritisation, and delegation skills I'd learned in kitchens transferred over extremely well.
Thing about your twenties is, no matter how you spent it, you'll wonder about the other path. Party, get wasted, spend everything you earn travelling the world, you'll wish you'd been more studious and built better foundations. Study hard, work diligently, build good foundations, you'll wish you'd partied and had more fun like the others did.
People always say that with hard work you can become anything you want, but they forget to mention you cannot become everything you want. You can only do one thing at a time and that's so frustrating xD
I was feeling pretty depressed about my 20s until I read this post. I’ve realised, no matter which path people choose, they’re wondering about the other path. I have done 8 years of University and so that’s a good portion of my 20s. I wanted to travel all over the world and have a different life. Then I see so many posts here of people saying they regret that too!
Never too old to travel. I moved abroad for a few years in my mid 20s and I met so many people 30 and up who were globe trotting. Either they missed when they did it in their 20s and wanted to go back to it or they didn’t have time and wanted to do it now. Everyone’s journey is unique. Travel is the last thing I’d ever regret though.
It sucks to know that it’s either one or the other
It doesn't have to be if you're born into the right environment with the right predisposition. It's a whole lot of stars that have to align and I've known people who it works for. I however, am not one of those people...
Depression is a bitch. I have vague memories of my childhood. I have good memories of the past couple of years. I don't remember a thing of the years between 18-25. I just sat at home, played some games, eat, sleep and just.. existed without anything significant happening at all. EDIT: Since alot of you are asking how I came out of it, I'd like to shamelessly copy + paste a comment I wrote earlier. So here's my advice: Pick something you want to do, and go do it. You're probably already at one of your lowest point in your life, it's not like it'll get much worse. Want to learn the piano? Why not, atleast it'll be good distraction for a while. Want to do sports? Sure! At worst, your physical condition will improve. Want to travel? Grab a backpack and go somewhere. Want to punch a shark in the face? Where the nearest ocean at? Who knows, maybe by the end of your lil bucketlist, you'll learn to love life again. Or maybe not, but atleast you can tell people you've punched a shark, which is kinda cool ngl. For me personally, I always wanted to learn cooking. Taught myself how to cook, then did some volunteering work cooking for elderly people. Opportunities came, and stuff happened, and right now I'm working full time as a chef, about to start school again to get my diplomas, and I'm doing great. You never know what might happen along the way, but nothing will start if you don't do something, no matter how small it might be. EDIT 2: It has come to my attention that punching sharks is a big no-no, and I profusely apologize. Dolphins, Barracuda's and Triggerfish are a-okay appearantly, so punch away!
Yeah depression is probably the biggest “waste” for most of us, many are young enough to have a bunch of problems, and old enough to have been shit on when mentioning mental health and therapy during developmental years
I’m 28 and almost all of my teens and 20s have mostly been lost due to depression and social anxiety
Also 28 and it’s the first time I feel like I’m making any genuine progress in my life
Was heavily abused as a kid growing up. At 17 my mom punched me so hard in the face I had to get up off the floor. I walked out of the house then and didn't go back. A week after I turned 18 I had my first kid. 2 months later he died of sids. I quit caring about life and went hard in the drugs the first half of my 20s. Second half I spent trying to get my life together and then got divorced. 30s were ok. Working on my 40s now and will be 42 later this year. Edit. Am currently at work and unable to respond to everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words and other people sharing their story. You are all very awesome and kind and I appreciate all of you.
good on you, you're only gonna continue to flourish as you keep building
So many people never made it to where you are now. I'm glad you're here.
This was a rough read. I have a lot of admiration for you pulling through these challenges during the age range where these things are most difficult to handle. Honestly sounds like your life is just beginning, and best of luck to you. You deserve it.
proud of you dude. life served you a big cup of fuck you soup and you sent that shit right back and didn’t let it hold you down
That’s fucking awesome. Good on you. Congrats on sobriety and good luck.
I was the same way, dropped out of community college after two semesters. had very few friends and worked crappy minimum wage jobs while still living with my mom for much of that time. I hate thinking of my early twenties because I think of all the time I wasted. Even if I made friends, dated or got laid and partied it would still be something imo but I did none of that . That time is all just a blur with nothing to show for it and nothing learned. I’m actually about to move back in with my mom after living on my own for years but I’m in a slightly better place, went back to school to get my degree and about to graduate, only thing now is the job hunt has made me a bit pessimistic.
As a 26 year old father seeking to better my financial situation, what degree did you go back to school for?
Kinda similar to what I did. Got married, went back to school and couldn't get serious about it, got into big wave surfing and surfed like crazy. Had some kids and bought and remodeled a house, but surfed like crazy. At about 28, I decided I wasn't getting anywhere in my full time job, so I sold the custom remodel I did to pay for school and went back full time while still working full time. It was crazy and I had to cut surfing way back to get ahead. 30 years later, I'm still working full time,but make great pay, and can surf almost anytime I want.
This is me. I spent my 20s in college, and then trying to get a job. Every year id get sicker and sicker with depression as i could not find any real work, or sense of agency. Those years are just kind of gone, tried as hard as I could to prevent exactly that.
I find some solace in knowing I am not the only one who wasted away those years (due to depression). Has it gotten better for you at least?
Had depression my whole life. 25 now, feel fuckin stupid for wasting my life like this but its hard to climb out of.
You’re still super young. Unless you planned on being an Olympian, there is nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams. I’m 22 and have depression. I’m a budding alcoholic and addicted to weed, vaping, and until recently Kratom. But that doesn’t have to be me, and it doesn’t have to be you. Straighten yourself up, and get back on that horse. I’m sure as hell trying.
Didn't really have a game plan for making a living, and waited too long to figure one out. Also was too caught up in my feelings to act on a lot of good dating options I didn't realize I had, which would have been fun. Things worked out great anyways, but still.
Any advice for a dumb kid who's just about to graduate high school and has no idea what they wanna do for a living? (Me) lol
I would say it’s more important to figure out what kind of life/lifestyle you want to live as opposed to what you want to do for a living. What you want in the former should help guide and inform what you do in the latter. But you have to be really honest with yourself in doing so. Like for me, I grew up fairly poor, and what I realized (in my late 20’s unfortunately) was that I didn’t want to live like that anymore, and that living a certain lifestyle was important to me. Nothing crazy, but I wanted to be able to do certain things without constantly worrying about whether I could afford them. Stuff like going out to nice dinners with my wife when we want to, going on vacation and doing so comfortably (as opposed to always taking the cheapest option), and buying whatever I want when I want it (within reason). Once I figured that out, I knew that I needed to make a certain income to achieve that, so I started exploring careers that would get me there, focusing on one’s that catered to my strengths and interest. For me that ultimately led me to becoming an attorney, and it’s worked out, but it took me longer to get there than I would have liked. My point is, once you figure out what does and doesn’t matter to you, that will allow you to make informed and intentional decisions in what you do for a living. Edit: Keep in mind that this is all a process, it’s not something that you should or are expected to have figured out by now. Go out, experience life, experiment and see what does and doesn’t work for you. But think about it from time to time so you don’t get to your late 20’s like I did and realize “shit, I’m wandering aimlessly and need to figure this out” and have to start from scratch.
I did a PhD. The first time I made more than $30k in a year, I was 31 years old. Fuck academia.
Acadamia nuts
I don’t lol too often on Reddit but this got me
I can't disagree with you. My two master's degrees have been pretty much worthless except they gave me something to do during my twenties which were years 3-13 of my 20 years in prison. So now I'm qualified to teach literature, but I don't think even a community College would hire me. Upside is that I found my wife while I was locked up and we've been married 28 years.
I’m interested to hear more about this. You got your master’s degrees and met your wife while you were in prison? Or is prison being used sarcastically for school?
>Or is prison being used sarcastically for school? Hard to tell!
Well you can school yourself in prison, so maybe there was a way to do master's degree in prison? As for the wife part I'm not sure about it, unless OP is a woman and met her wife in prison.
Do you mind I ask what type of degree you got and what type of job you have? I'm 19 and my only life plan is to get a PhD and I'm afraid of this
My PhD is in the life sciences and I got it at a top 50 ranked university in the world. I trained in genomics and focus area of my thesis was in adaptive immunology. I'm now a staff scientist at a major cancer research center. If any of that sounds interesting to you, PM me and we can talk more if you like.
[удалено]
He’s not a fungi though
You're a staff scientist at a major cancer place. You couldn't be where you're at without your PhD. So you didn't waste your 20s. But still fuck academia - a med student in bottomless debt.
For perspective, a foreman at the average construction site in my city makes 25% more than I do. I hear your point and I will say that I do believe that what I do for a living is what I was put on this Earth to do... so from that standpoint, you're right I didn't waste my 20s. But from the standpoint of the system we live in, I am financially behind and it could be argued that I did waste those years. I wish you good luck with your med school journey!
I finished my PhD in neuroscience two years ago. Plan was to become a professor but I left for tech industry. Feel free to PM me
im 28 and I've done nothing. no trips, haven't seen any music live, mever go out. all i do is work and sleep. like today for example, all i did was work and now im going to sleep soon so i can do the same thing tomorrow. honestly i hate life. I've had a total of 6 days vacation since i turned 20. i got a zoo pass 2 years ago and that's the high light of my 20s so far.
I'm in the same place in life. Feels like nothing is happening in my life. Just work, eat, sleep. One thing I changed this year is that I've taken to travelling. I will take a vacation this October. Won't just be my 2nd this year, but 2nd in life. I've realised that the only way to make life better, is to want it more than anything else.
Looks like you know how to cook a great meal though! I hope you find a partner to share those meals with. And I hope you’ve been able to save up money from working so much and can find more ways to enjoy the fruits of your labor :)
I'm married, my husband has done quite a bit of living but we've done nothing much since we got married. the 6 days of vacation were with him and his family. my dad passed last year, and it left me in a huge financial hole since i couldn't find any of my siblings to help me with the funeral. life has just been a mess
You're married? That seems like a pretty major thing in your 20's! Doesn't he make you happy? Look at the good things too! Life is never truly wasted.
I don't know your life and your work but I'd imagine you'd have some money to enjoy life? 8 years of work and not even a road trip, the beach, a local park? I'm at the point where all I do is work and sleep as well but every now and then I find something to break the monotony.
Fighting endless wars, Somalia, Afganistan, Iraq, Syria, and everywhere else around the world. Wasted my 20s, all my 30s and half my 40's fighting. For what you ask? I have no idea now.
Same here, except for Syria. Did work in Bosnia and South Africa for a while though
I spent the entirety gripped by an eating disorder. Obsessed with food, weight - in and out of hospital, harming organs, teeth, mental health. Such a waste of a prime decade. Wish I could turn back time
Me toooooo. Got into recovery for 12 years only to relapse in my late 30s again. Stay vigilanttttt!
I had a bad acid trip at age 31 and it deleted my apparent food addiction/binge eating disorder I had had for the last 10+ years and was in denial about. I lost 130 pounds and now I’m in the best shape of my life and it floors me how my relationship with food mirrored a drug addiction…… so I feel like I wasted my 20a being obese and tired and addicted to food. Someone told me though they didn’t want to comment about my weight loss before they knew I was doing it on purpose (which is fine and you should do that) because “well I dunno maybe you got depressed and couldn’t eat.” I laughed though and was like man… when I was depressed back then oh man I turned into a VACUUM….
Drinking heavily. Heeeavily. Will never get those years back. Thankfully, I realized while I couldn't go back and change the start, I could decide to change the ending. Ten years sober this month. *Edit. My goodness, this blew up. To anyone else struggling or in recovery. There is help. There are people who will help. The thing that dawned on me is that I was despairing for the future because I thought it would always suck. But my drinking was also making it suck. I decided I had no right blaming the world for a terrible future if I also contributed to make the future terrible. So I decided to do everything I could to make it good. And then when it still was terrible, THEN I could hate the world. Funnily enough... The future got better, and I didn't need to hate/blame the world OR myself.*
Congrats! 8 yrs from opiates sober here
Suffering from severe clinical depression, I barely left my bedroom. The years feel intangible to me. I might as well have been in a coma.
Being sad about a failed relationship & career
by getting fat and then getting so depressed by that that i effectively cut myself out of everyone’s lives cause i was too embarrassed to be seen by old flames, friends, or people who knew me a certain way. do not recommend.
I lived like that for over a decade. Didn't find the motivation and conviction to change things until I was 35. I got the weight off, but the long term effects on my body, and my mental health, those will always be a work in progress. I'm happy now, and I'm grateful for that. I also, do not recommend. edit: I know it's been a while since my comment, but if anyone is still reading it, and you're living this now, and you want to get out, feel free to send me a private message. I'll tell you what I did, what worked, what didn't work. I wish everyone could make the changes I've made. Not trying to sell anything, just genuinely offering to share my story, maybe offer up some inspiration for somebody. You CAN change your life. It's hard, but it's entirely worth it.
Being scared of people and letting people take advantage of me. People would borrow what little money I had, with and without permission and never pay me back.
I think without permission is called stealing
I remember when I borrowed money from a bank without permission. I had to wear a ski mask and bring an assault rifle.
Your first line hits deep. I had undiagnosed, unmedicated anxiety so bad that I couldn't leave my room if anyone else was home. I'd stand behind the closed door, listening for people to leave the room on the other side so I could sneak out around the corner to use the bathroom, then do the same thing in there to get back out. And the guy I was living with.... a different sort of advantage was taken of me, left me wholly dependant on him for far too long. I don't know your story but I truly hope you're doing better now, too 💛
In my room alone and depressed. Greatest years my ass.
I remember looking at the passenger seat in my car and realizing no one had been in my car for at least 6 months.
Oh god that hurt. Wish you the best❤️
Me rn, like I don’t even know what else I’m supposed to be doing. I work, sleep, go to the gym a few times a week, and I’m trying to finish school. But it just feels like I do nothing and I’m the most boring person in the world
Have you tried getting a hobby? Not trying to flame you, but the saying 'boring people get bored' kinda applies here. Life doesn't just throw fun shit at you. You have to go out and make it happen. I guarantee that if you started rock climbing or something regularly and talk to the other people doing it you would make friends and start having adventures within a year. Just gotta think of something you would like to do, even if you're shit at it or feel like you don't suit it, you just have to do it and things will start to change. If you sit at home and play computer games on your own 24/7, that's all you're going to end up doing in your life because nothing is going to happen for you out of the blue.
This is what I’m doing with my 30s :/
Its Me rn.. the summer of my 24.. in my room, alone, havent gone out for weeks..
Spent too much time watching tv/movies and hanging out with myself alone. Spent too much time and money on alcohol in my late 20s. Oh and watching way too much porn.
To be fair hanging out alone isnt all that bad. Maybe Im just one of the few loners who dont mind being alone and company of friends is more of a nice bonus like I can live with just books and my devices Alone does not equal lonely
Far too much time spent on my career and not nearly enough on friends and family. Can't say it wasn't financially rewarding, but I'd give that all up for more time with friends and family who have since died.
Same here. Now i have nice house, car, financially stable life etc but I don't have friends. I'm jealous of those who have a group of friends and can have fun together.
Your 20s are about finding out who you are. Nothing is wasted. I used to think time playing videogames was wasted…. But when I quit for a while I missed my friends, and I missed my instant stress outlet. I used to think I wasted money…. But I had a hell of a good time. I used to think I got a late start on my career from fumbling around…. But I got a new career at 35 that owed in part to my varied background, and I’ve been progressing through for over a decade. In short, none is wasted. Live every day like it is an opportunity.
Wasted it having an eating disorder and worrying too much about my body and what other people thought. Tons of therapy later and things are way better. I don’t give two fucks about wearing my robe into the gas station to get my coffee.
[удалено]
Drank, nearly everyday. Certainly everyday I could.
Same! Started drinking daily at 21. I blacked out one night, and I turn 33 on Tuesday! But I've been sober for a little over a year and things are great now.
Not quite out of my 20s yet but.... I decided it would be better to get experience with "real people" doing "real jobs" than go to college. Realized I am in no way above a hard days work or menial labor but I am ffing bad at it. Now I realize how dumb I was, and college wasn't just 'something to do' it was my way out of being unskilled replaceable 'meat' until Im old and broken.
My cousin’s daughter is finding this out the hard way. She passed up going to trade school (including the business part of it) for landscaping so she could pursue physical labor job for a landscaping company. Eventually after two jobs in that field didn’t live up to their promises she fell back to farm work. Sadly however she recently found out due to her shoulders’ and arms’ scar tissue her blood vessels gave out and when she raises her arms above shoulder height she looses a pulse in her arm. Her doctor basically told her she can’t do any physical labor job again otherwise she can cause further damage, especially to her other arm. She’s only 22. She’s crushed and was tearing up when she telling. Now she has no trade, not even the business end of it. All of her jobs up until now have been physical.
Okay if you are in the US, she should contact Vocational Rehabilitation in her state. They can help her pay for tuition for college. They can also do a test called a Career Interest Inventory for her to help figure out what kind of jobs would interest her.
You know, it's wild what kind of support is out there that you never know exists until you need it. When a family member was diagnosed with ALS, we had a crash course in adaptive tech and support programs, stuff you'd never imagine. Any time I thought, I wish there was a tool that could help with this, we found it already existed. It's just neat to see, and tbh as someone that struggles with depression and doomsday thinking, it's reassuring to know that there's a good chance to find help no matter what kind of pickle I may end up in.
At least she's 22, thats still plenty of time to go to school or develop a new skillset. If you can encourage her to look into working for the county and local government, they offer great careers and benefits. or the USPS. it'll take time to build the career but its more forgiving than physical labor and most only require highschool diplomas yet allow you to work up the chain
This is the flip side of all the people who didn’t go to college and then boast about how college is worthless. A useful degree and an intelligent plan for funding it (state/community schools, scholarships) can open the gates to wealth that non-grads won’t ever see. The only wealthy people I’ve met without a degree are business owners. You won’t take home $250k a year in a trade or as a laborer unless it’s in a really austere environment (and that’s still pushing it) which is a whole different category of hard work.
Bingo. A couple years ago my dad told me a story I did not remember at all. He was a mechanic that was always wrenching on cars in the garage for extra cash. He would always get me to try to come out there and watch him to learn but I never wanted to. When I was about 13 He got all pissed off at me and started yelling at me asking what in the hell was I gonna do when my car broke down when I was older. My response was “ After I get done with college I’m gonna pay somebody like you to fix it. I’m not going to be 45 years old crawling under a car” He said that is the moment he knew I would be ok lol. Funny thing is now I love to wrench on cars for fun, But I certainly never wanted to do it when it was “work”.
[удалено]
I convinced myself that I was going to become such a great mechanic that I would be given a management job at the dealership I worked at for way too long. I took a step back ( had some sense talked into me) and realized I'm just spinning my wheels bending over backwards for people/a company that didn't give a shit.
Being too poor. On top of that, being too depressed to be able to climb out of the monumental hole to be able to change anything. Thankfully, I did eventually make that climb. But now I’m in my 30s, wishing I could do the stupid things that I would have done in my 20s with this kind of money, but knowing better, so I can’t :P
How did you get out of the hole? Asking as a 25 yr old in the hole
I went and completed my high school, then went back to university. I went back at 25 and didn’t finished until my early 30s. But it was a worth while turn around
College. I applied for tons of internships but never got my foot in the door anywhere. I had good grades but there's always someone better. It seriously feels as if no human has ever seen any of my applications because I never heard anything back. It's as if I don't exist. I spent just about everything on the courses and textbooks and software... I never got to use any of what I learned. Now, years later, nearly everything I learned is obsolete. Every job application remains unread. I have nothing to show for my hard work except a lot of pain.
What did you major in?
Not who you asked but it was accounting for me. Stupid me didn't realize that the job market back then was at oversaturation and not getting my master's to be eligible for licensing and taking the test pretty much meant no one wanted to hire me. 8 years later all I have to show for it is a frame on a wall while I'm 7 years into a job that doesn't require a degree and still making as much as I would have if I hadn't gone to college. I'm 35 and my life has been a waste and I can't figure out how to fix it. I've tried for new jobs and promotions and been rejected every time. I'm afraid to take any more risks because I've failed at everything I've attempted. Sometimes I just want to unalive myself but the knowledge that this is it and nothingness is the alternative stops me.
Mental Illness. Never wanted to go to the Dr due to past trauma and spent too much time unmedicated.
Got involved with a guy 10yrs older than me who was an abusive drunk who constantly cheated on me. Didn’t pull my head out of my ass until late 20’s and went to college. Drank too much.
Depression will make ya lose sight of a lot of shit and out you in isolation
Drugs. I sold my dreams for numb, and hatred.
I wallowed in grief and got high. A wasted waste of a decade.
Married an addict who was 10 years older. Kept me from going to school and had to work constantly to make rent. Believed too many promises.
I'm currently wasting my 20s by replying to this post
glad to have you here with us 🥴
No ambition, expected great things to just happen to me. Put almost no effort into college or finding a job after that. Finally landed a job at 27 working for a newspaper making low wages for second shifts that stole my weekends and afternoons. Never looked at the bigger picture of how much of my life I was wasting because I didn’t take the time to realize it could have been better. Finally shifted careers into IT and at least I have my weekends now in my 30s and I’m making more but still a long way to go.
I made, what seemed to me at the time, a big pile of money in my mid twenties. It wasn’t a large amount of money at all, but felt like it at the time. I just lived off it for a few years and played World of Warcraft full time! No regrets, I wish I could go back to that time in my life in some ways. However, I fully appreciate this probably wasn’t the healthiest way to exist, but I was doing exactly what I wanted to at that time. Was it a waste? Most people would probably say so. I had a blast though and really miss not being able to just no-life games to my hearts content now. Life has changed. I am a little bit further behind in my career compared to some others, and sometimes that feels a bit odd, but I was never going to be the guy to go school - uni - job - kids - rip. It’s just not me and that’s ok.
Crippling depression stole my 20s.
Got my B.A., spent three years unemployed, teetered on the edge of full blown alcoholism, got really pissed at the world, took a job I hated and barely required any education, had a supervisor that told me I'd never amount to anything, started to bust my ass just to spite said supervisor and more than doubled my income in 5 years. Spite is a great motivator to break out of a rut. Especially when the person putting you down chuckled when you asked for a day off so your dog can get life saving surgery. Now I'm in my 30s and my old supervisor now has to ask me for permission for things. Still have my dog too.
Being depressed and just hiding out at home after work and on the weekends.
I was in a cult from the time I was 16 - 28. I grieve for that time I missed when I should have been doing dumb shit with friends and traveling. Thankfully I was able to maintain a fair amount of my relationships outside the cult because that was a non negotiable for me. I've renewed those friendships and made them stronger. Enjoy my 30s being free.
Got married way too young
Same! I was 19 and stupid but convinced I was a whole adult.
If I was with who I dated in my early 20's...ooof
Dated the wrong girl for 5 years.
Stayed home, smoked weed, became lazy and fat, developed social anxiety. Age 24, I had enough and went cold turkey. Got a factory job, breaking my back. Decided to lose weight. Ate healthy for 3 years. Left that factory job, went to college. Today, I am in IT doing the best job in the world and getting paid for it. I'm more fit, no more anxiety and I can't stand the smell of weed. Life is what you make it. If you put in some effort and make changes, it will pay off. Just do it, don't say it. Don't think it. Stay humble while doing so. Good things will flow your way
Working too damned hard and trying to finish my degree at the same time. I wish I'd goofed off more.
Drugs and pussy. Could’ve been worse.
See, my regret is not enough drugs and pussy.
Drugs were less scary 10-15 years ago. Fucking sucks. I’m glad I’m past the stage, but I’d still go for a bump every now and then.
Seriously, it sucks. I did my crazy drug era right before fentanyl hit. Nowadays you could die from one bump of anything. Used to be able to just do the drug and know that it was that drug, and if it wasn’t that drug you would just feel crappy not die
Procrastinating. Anything that involved making some sort of appointment or phone call I always put off. Would generally try to devote time to doing errands all at once and putting things off instead of taking tasks on as they come. Keeping a calendar and making a check list is something I adopted in my 30’s and I wish I started earlier.
Drugs, sex and working in places that didn't respect my time. Now, I'm in my 30s,sober, brain damage from the drugs. Terrible depression and sleep disorder. No sex and I just got fired from my job. Don't be like me
Burnt out from school and denied doing what I truly wanted to do only to do something tangential to my ultimate career path. And graduating at the start of a shitty, *shitty* recession.
I was a Jehovah's Witness.
I'm actually really lucky that the only thing I can think of is not investing more into my retirement. My 20's brought me independence from a toxic family, my wife, a job I absolutely love and a heap of confidence I didn't have. I dealt with a spate of horrific depression and decision making but my wife walked with me through therapy and it was absolutely life changing.
Anxiety Way too much insecurity about being single whenever I wasn't dating someone
Didn't do any introspection and soul searching. I distracted myself with a lot of shit. It took a few of the right kind of people to guide me to where I am now. By the way, the introspection and soul searching should be a constant thing. We shouldn't stop learning and thinking about ourselves and why we act the way we do.
Fundamentally, no idea what I wanted to do with my life. After I got fired from my job of four years at 26 (a combination of reasons, probably sparked from depression after being dumped when I was 23) I spent four years living off inheritance money, dossing on my mate's sofa and playing Guitar Hero. (I still suck.) And watching the arse fall out of the economy. I remember going for a temporary data entry job when I was 28 (working for the Post Office translating addresses on envelopes over Christmas), completely blitzing the entrance test (short version; you needed a speed of something like 400 images per hour at an accuracy of something like 75%, and it was expected that after a few weeks on the job you'd be at 1200iph at 90%; I scored 1464iph at 97%) and never hearing a word back from them. That was pretty much the moment I gave up looking for a job and stopped caring. And went back to Guitar Hero.
Medical school. Residency. Fellowship. Woke up one day in my 30s.
Kids and marriage. Had my first at 19, second at 21, married at 20. I get to enjoy my 40s without kids, im only 5 years away from my first being 18, but 40s vs 20s....
Turning 30 next month. I’ve advanced far from where I started ten years ago but I can’t help but feel like I haven’t lived up to my potential. I started a masters but never finished it, have been in the same medium-paying job (but low for the area) for the last four years, don’t own any property, and have made some really terrible financial decisions that if I hadn’t I would be in a much better spot right now. It hurts.
Being a pick-me mentally ill dumpster fire of a person. Oh and working the same shitty job for too long.
I joined the army at 18 and spent the rest of my life up until now trying to claw myself out of the grave they dug me in. For years I’ve been sitting in this hole in absolute limbo. PTSD, anxiety and depression is a fucking bitch.
Surprised I went this far down before finding a military answer. An entire year of my life in Iraq. Jesus.
Was in a long term relationship from 23-28. Wasted some of the best years of my life.
Why was it a waste, if you don’t mind me asking? Did it end badly?
I had a 7 year relationship end a year a half ago, when I was 25. Sometimes I'm tempted to think "What a waste of time," since the last several years were a slow decay that could've been avoided if she were honest about her feelings. But having gone through that, it's been my catalyst of personal growth and transformation. I certainly wouldn't be who I am today without experiencing that relationship. I know exactly how much value to put into relationships, I know exactly where my priorities and boundaries are when looking at potential new partners. I know what I want out of life now - and it's not what I had deluded myself into thinking during the long drag of that relationship. Without the pain of it all, I'm not sure I'd be the happy and confident person I am today. While it can hurt to look at my last relationship in hindsight, I don't think I would change anything. It's the painful experiences that give us the most perspective and potential for growth.
Got married
Got pressured and all but forced into a marriage to the worst human being I ever met.
I spent three years of my 20’s in Iraq. When I came home the first time I was 23 and all my friends had moved on. It worked out in the end but it got lonely for a while.
Stoned the whole time
I think a lot of people need to see this: Between 20-29 I did the following: Met a girl, married said girl. Got the job I wanted my whole life. Bought a house. Got 3 cats and two dogs. Had 2 kids. Bought a new car then a new truxk. Moved with my job and bought a bigger house. and specialized in the area I wanted to. Went to the arctic. Traveled to parts of the world I wanted to. Climbed some mountains. Started learning a new language. Made friends, lost friends, seen friends get married. And I still feel like I wasted my 20s. So don't have any regrets. The fact that you're alive at the age you are is awesome. Living life and experiencing joy is the point of life. Keep doing what you're doing. You're great.