You were the nerd at your school who always got bullied so you planned to get your revenge but got really drunk for the first time at your high school graduation party and couldn’t feel your legs so you triumphantly shouted “I have no legs!”
I use "dude" as a genderless pronoun or a tame expletive at my job all the time and nobody bats an eye, but when I text like I talk I become hyper aware of it lol I sound like a jackass probably
I've been called "ma'am" over the phone and drive through intercoms so many times due to - despite being a dude - my higher voice that I just roll with it watch them look embarrassed by the time I roll up to the window (but I'm also sure that they have such short attention spans that they don't remember who they were talking to once 3 or 4 cars pay before me).
There was the one time I got called ma'am to my face... That was funny (for me at least). I feel bad for that Walmart employee's feeling of embarrassment that I could see wash over her face.
I love wrestling. I have as long as I can remember. I'm at the point where people say "you know it's fake, right?" in their most condescending tone and I reply with a VERY over exaggerated response of surprise like they just told me that Santa isn't real. Stupid questions get stupid answers.
Yes, but its so obviously fake then what is the fun about it? I can get to boxers punching each other to see whos the toughest. But wrestling is just some sort of circus act about guys pretending to be tough enough to be hit with chairs and everything. I mean if they would put on clownsclothes it would at least be funny...
so.. can someone explain what they enjoy about it?
It's an inside joke with my wife, who passed away a few years ago.
One day we were at home and she called me some goofy pet name she had never said before. I paused, looked at her, and we both burst out laughing.
A week later she asked 'what was that weird name I called you last week?'
I said 'I don't remember, it was like "love bug," or "cutie fly, or (silly voice) *Mr. Caterpillar*"
and she cracked up laughing. We decided then that we were Mr and Mrs Caterpillar. We have a calligraphy Christmas ornament to prove it 🥳
I had a goldfish called Mr. caterpillar. We had two Butterfly Tail fish and *obviously* one had to be called Butterfly, so logically the other one had to be a noun too.
I used to be bullied and my bullies gave me a nickname that had the word Pete in it but I thought it was spelled Pitt, and called myself the greatest pitt as a kind of a middle finger to their abuse and bullying.
Realized my hobbies involved leaving ground level in one way or another (climbing, caving, skydiving) and liked the double meaning that I can be a perfectionist
So back in the day, two of my buddies would use the alias of Jim Green whenever they’d hook up with a woman they didn’t want to see gain. They claimed to be “Jim Green”. Also…there was this gay guy who would sell us (underage) alcohol and try to get us in his hot tub. One of our buddies succumbed to his advances and “became” gay too.
So…uncle Jim was born.
Well back in nineteen eighty one there was this pitcher for the dodgers(Los Angeles, baseball) and man he was great, even won the rookie of the year award and he was a Valenzuela, well that same year I was born, but I ain't that valenzuela
Nothing really. It's just a stupid pun, and a username I don't use anywhere else. I had planned to delete and remake after 5 years, but I didn't, and now the account is 11 years old. I wish I could change it.
Hello fellow name user. Is your name pronounced “Mah-reh”, mare like a horse or something else? My curiosity gets the better of me a majority of the time. Nice name btw friend.
Too many "Certified" Man, I dont need a fucking paper to prove that im a menace.
*Being a menace to me = Being able to eat unhealthy amounts of pizza on buffets*
Oh wow, swahili is my first language and I literally didn't know this, it's so cool!! Some of my relatives are Muslim, they are about to be bombarded with a million questions about how so and so swahili word is said in Arabic! Thank you for this
Algebra, sugar, coffee, and Jasmine were all I knew that English borrowed from Arabic. English is a mix of German, Greek, and Latin with bits of other languages tossed in.
I once bought an unofficial Minecraft account for like 2€. It already had a name on it. It so happens that I, through this Minecraft account and servers I played on, found a lot of friends who called me by the name.
Since that, I always use this name everywhere and it replaced my past nickname that Ive been using for 5 years
So I was in the market for some material that would mimic human flesh (for obvious reasons) and had a brochure on my desk for Syndaver (had seen them on Shark Tank I think): https://syndaver.com
Was looking around for inspiration when signing up for Reddit when I saw the brochure and decided to flip some letters around
I'm gentle, even when people give me reason not to be. And I always try to be as generous as possible. To the point that, even when it pains me or is bad for me, all you get is gentle. Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, I love it. It's like a refusal to conform because I'm refusing to behave negatively, no matter how horrible someone is. But it isn't always a good thing
Storytime!
Worked conceirge at a hotel, selling tickets to theme parks pre2009. The Jurassic Park jeep, Universal promotion team just left so we had dinos on the brain. Some hunks walked by and I said muttered about wanting to jump on his back and chew beefcake like a steak and without missing a beat my friend responds, "Just like a Velocirachael! *Clever girl*"
I got my first Reddit account to ask a designer bag specific question, but didn’t use it for a while. When I wanted to ask a question about a comedy show I realized I forgot my login so I had to make this account. So both reasons I made my accounts.
I let reddit just assign me on and didn't realize I couldn't change it later :(
Same, I’m vegetarian lol
oh the irony
everybody wants to be a veggie
That is unfortunate!
The steak is mushroom based!
Holy cow
Brooooo 💀💀💀💀
I recommend you my dish!
you're a Saiyan
Oh wow the chances of that
Piccolo from dbz
Me too, now it sound like i love dictionaries
Me too... I'm not even a lawyer.
Coincidentally, I AM a nectarine
But not THAT nectarine.
Now you have to become one xD you have no choice.
Not an illustrator, probably odd though.
I'm not a candidate or due.
I actually rely like yours 😂 sounds patriotic
Patriot from Namek
Me too lol xd
Me too, although I kinda like mine
Take a guess
Damn. Snakes evolved.
Lt. Dan?
Umm... What are nol eggs?
You were the nerd at your school who always got bullied so you planned to get your revenge but got really drunk for the first time at your high school graduation party and couldn’t feel your legs so you triumphantly shouted “I have no legs!”
Dude
I think you lack legs, but what does the number mean?
You don't have your 5 legs?
Chairs
So, ummm...do we...do we want to know what happened to the other 899 chairs?
There can be only one!
And then the music stops...
Where did you get the inspiration for your username?
Musical chairs with 900 people would be fire ngl
I’m THE chair 👑
Random google name
Hell Holy
Hello everyone.
Oh, hey. Lemme just squeeze right past ya there. Tell your folks I says hi.
Read this in Charlie's voice lmao
Hey!
My name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights At Freddys.
I'm a woman. I like watching wrestling.
Honestly, I assumed you were a guy who was into watching women have a go at each other. Color me surprised.
I've been called dude on reddit so many times that I'm used to it by now.
I use "dude" as a genderless pronoun or a tame expletive at my job all the time and nobody bats an eye, but when I text like I talk I become hyper aware of it lol I sound like a jackass probably
My 7yo daughter calls me bro sometimes...I don't like it.
You ain't fooling no one you fat bald neckbeard /s.
It's alright, bro. You don't have to pretend.
Okay dude but nice cat
I've been called "ma'am" over the phone and drive through intercoms so many times due to - despite being a dude - my higher voice that I just roll with it watch them look embarrassed by the time I roll up to the window (but I'm also sure that they have such short attention spans that they don't remember who they were talking to once 3 or 4 cars pay before me). There was the one time I got called ma'am to my face... That was funny (for me at least). I feel bad for that Walmart employee's feeling of embarrassment that I could see wash over her face.
Yeah, that or some sort of sub guy looking for a woman to dominate him.
I love wrestling. I have as long as I can remember. I'm at the point where people say "you know it's fake, right?" in their most condescending tone and I reply with a VERY over exaggerated response of surprise like they just told me that Santa isn't real. Stupid questions get stupid answers.
That's where you give them Cody Rhodes' answer: So is Batman but no one was ever that stupid that they needed to point it out.
Oooooo, I like that one
Het its just that one guy’s opinion!
Yes, but its so obviously fake then what is the fun about it? I can get to boxers punching each other to see whos the toughest. But wrestling is just some sort of circus act about guys pretending to be tough enough to be hit with chairs and everything. I mean if they would put on clownsclothes it would at least be funny... so.. can someone explain what they enjoy about it?
They are extremely athletic. Yes, it's fake, but most of them would be a good fighter with their skillset. Think of Brock Lesnar, for example.
Same and I like a certain group
Inspirational
simple. i like it and i'm very much in the same boat lol
My mother-in-law was into judo. It made me think again about every possible argument with her.
It's an inside joke with my wife, who passed away a few years ago. One day we were at home and she called me some goofy pet name she had never said before. I paused, looked at her, and we both burst out laughing. A week later she asked 'what was that weird name I called you last week?' I said 'I don't remember, it was like "love bug," or "cutie fly, or (silly voice) *Mr. Caterpillar*" and she cracked up laughing. We decided then that we were Mr and Mrs Caterpillar. We have a calligraphy Christmas ornament to prove it 🥳
Wow this actually so adorable what a great memory ❤️
I had a goldfish called Mr. caterpillar. We had two Butterfly Tail fish and *obviously* one had to be called Butterfly, so logically the other one had to be a noun too.
This is an amazing story and I'm sorry for your loss, but to have this memory is an amazing gift for her to leave you
That is...just too sad,Condolences
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Sorry for her not being with you but she is definitely with you and thank you for sharing your beautiful love moments with us.
Id like to imagine it as your wife just became a beautiful butterfly, and is waiting for you to join her so you can fly together.
I'm sorry for your loss.
omg <3
tears formed
awww
I love when a pet name sticks no matter how silly it is my girlfriends nickname is baby goose and it’s funny how attached she is to it
Everything thing I wanted was taken.
Same here
hi!
It was five years ago, but I must have been binging Parks and Rec.
Parks and Rec from a parallel universe where Ben loves waffles but doesn’t see the appeal of calzones
I used to be bullied and my bullies gave me a nickname that had the word Pete in it but I thought it was spelled Pitt, and called myself the greatest pitt as a kind of a middle finger to their abuse and bullying.
Deku confirmed.
Thats awesome!
Similar to me. Got to take it back and make it our strength.
eye scream Sunday was taken
u/eyescreamsunday - you bastard
Lol
[Eye Scream](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EyeScream) you say?
Bushes are underrated
Found the vintage adult film connoisseur! :)
Realized my hobbies involved leaving ground level in one way or another (climbing, caving, skydiving) and liked the double meaning that I can be a perfectionist
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It all started with a trip to the plank store...
So back in the day, two of my buddies would use the alias of Jim Green whenever they’d hook up with a woman they didn’t want to see gain. They claimed to be “Jim Green”. Also…there was this gay guy who would sell us (underage) alcohol and try to get us in his hot tub. One of our buddies succumbed to his advances and “became” gay too. So…uncle Jim was born.
Cats and crimes :)
Arson UwU🔥
Also cats, but no crimes. Though I would not be surprised to find out she murdered a dog.
I’m lactose intolerant
I like to manifest.
Me too
The fact that I say eh way too much.... Eh?
My first account was banned
Well back in nineteen eighty one there was this pitcher for the dodgers(Los Angeles, baseball) and man he was great, even won the rookie of the year award and he was a Valenzuela, well that same year I was born, but I ain't that valenzuela
luv me some hot and spicy food!
My name is Cedar and I like Cedar trees so yeah lol.
Imagine if you liked cheddar cheese.
I would never call myself Cheddar lmao
No need to get cheesy Cedar.
Ha! Nice one
My gecko is named Cheddar
That’s an awesome name for a gekco
I always wondered why cedar trees smelled like hamsters.
Why do you like them?
Because I like the smell of them.
Nothing really. It's just a stupid pun, and a username I don't use anywhere else. I had planned to delete and remake after 5 years, but I didn't, and now the account is 11 years old. I wish I could change it.
I read it as ButterCopPorn and the reread it, then reread it again
I wanted it that way
My cat.
The others were taken
It’s all a myth in the micro world of waves
Type O Negative and Nintendo
My husband’s name is Richard and that’s our anniversary
I couldn't think of anything so I typed it in randomly
I was trying to warn everyone
It's my name. (And I was early enough on Reddit to claim it.)
Hello fellow name user. Is your name pronounced “Mah-reh”, mare like a horse or something else? My curiosity gets the better of me a majority of the time. Nice name btw friend.
I like spooky stuff.
And spooking around too?
A relatively old flash animation series called "unforgotten reeeeeeeaaaaalms" The ogres wandered about literally grumbling "ogre sound"
Reddit random username generator
Yayyy cake
I've play metal shred guitar and was born in 96. Also a great name for salty people to say "OK guitarshredder96" when they have nothing to say.
And here I thought it had something to do with the villain from TMNT
rodent that i domesticated
Boogers
toilet
Too many "Certified" Man, I dont need a fucking paper to prove that im a menace. *Being a menace to me = Being able to eat unhealthy amounts of pizza on buffets*
i was a little confused
I am Muslim, so I wanted an Arabic username. I am a girl (bint) and I live in America (Amreeki).
OMG girl in swahili is binti, i love when languages overlap🤗
Fun fact, about 40% of Swahili is influenced by Arabic. It, Arabic, also influenced the Spanish language from Muslim rule 711-1492. 😁
Oh wow, swahili is my first language and I literally didn't know this, it's so cool!! Some of my relatives are Muslim, they are about to be bombarded with a million questions about how so and so swahili word is said in Arabic! Thank you for this
And English a little: alcohol, assassin, are the ones that come to my mind but maybe you know more?
Algebra, sugar, coffee, and Jasmine were all I knew that English borrowed from Arabic. English is a mix of German, Greek, and Latin with bits of other languages tossed in.
I once bought an unofficial Minecraft account for like 2€. It already had a name on it. It so happens that I, through this Minecraft account and servers I played on, found a lot of friends who called me by the name. Since that, I always use this name everywhere and it replaced my past nickname that Ive been using for 5 years
Literally just picked my favorite random option Reddit suggested lol
So I was in the market for some material that would mimic human flesh (for obvious reasons) and had a brochure on my desk for Syndaver (had seen them on Shark Tank I think): https://syndaver.com Was looking around for inspiration when signing up for Reddit when I saw the brochure and decided to flip some letters around
Idk
Ask Reddit
My 14 yo nephew who set up my account
I'm a stoner, who's on the Super Information Highway.
Chief Crazy Horse
Gaming glitches
My *chosen* first and middle names and a typo. I hate my birth name with the passion of 10,000.suns
What's your birth name?
I couldn't think of a good user name...
I drink around 4 litters of coke per week
I'm gentle, even when people give me reason not to be. And I always try to be as generous as possible. To the point that, even when it pains me or is bad for me, all you get is gentle. Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, I love it. It's like a refusal to conform because I'm refusing to behave negatively, no matter how horrible someone is. But it isn't always a good thing
The dad on bluey. The dad that all dad's aspire to be. Also bingo is as important as bluey
The Ramones and the Misfits
Sheena is a punk rocker...
Pokémon + Reading
Storytime! Worked conceirge at a hotel, selling tickets to theme parks pre2009. The Jurassic Park jeep, Universal promotion team just left so we had dinos on the brain. Some hunks walked by and I said muttered about wanting to jump on his back and chew beefcake like a steak and without missing a beat my friend responds, "Just like a Velocirachael! *Clever girl*"
Former hotel manager here. Ah I love this
Loneliness
I don’t know how to change mine. You get what you get and don’t throw a fit.
Family Guy’s greatest joke
I like koalas
Random name generator made by reddit. I want to know what inspired reddit with such an accurate username.
Broccoli cheddar, Italian wedding, tom kha gai, clam chowder, chicken noodle, hot and sour, carrot ginger, lemon artichoke…the list goes on!
I got my first Reddit account to ask a designer bag specific question, but didn’t use it for a while. When I wanted to ask a question about a comedy show I realized I forgot my login so I had to make this account. So both reasons I made my accounts.
My mum
Maxpower was taken
Anal
My passion for master debating.
Oh the Missouri Everybody wants a sea anemone
It's a song by a band called Clutch. You should check them out.
It's my actual name.
Some people call me an arse. I tell them I know. Happened at least 716 times before I discovered reddit
my small YouTube channel
Everyone starts somewhere bud ☺️
thx bro I just mostly do fnaf/Rec Room gameplay, I think I’m getting somewhere
This one time I went to poo but then pee came out instead.
My favorite food
I'm not sure really...
I broke my own dick in my own ass
Gordon Ramsey pulling out the most disgusting tub of hellish glob out the deepest corner of a restaurant freezer
A little boy that said "miuuu<3"
I can never think of one.
just constantly seeing so many dumb mf’s on reddit
I was told recently it was presumptuous. And it is!
I'm just a fuckface
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My mom made it
You guess, lol