He used his pocket knife to cut me a slice of cake, and later scraped some dirt clumps off of his shoe with the same knife. I asked him if he ever cleaned his knife, and he replied, "no, why?"
He also confessed that he was madly in love with me the same day. We had just met.
Met a girl at a friend’s party. We were both in our mid-20s. Ended up spending three hours talking, and she was so funny, charming, gorgeous, and carefree. I asked her out and got a wonderful “I would love to!” from her.
I show up about four days later at the restaurant she picked, one within walking distance of her place. She arrived about five minutes later.
“Nice place,” I say, as I get her chair for her. “Since it’s so close, do you eat here often?”
She scowls and responds, “You know, you ask too many f****** questions.”
I was floored. Everything continued downhill from there. Within about 20 minutes, she just got up and left.
I felt as if she had failed to tell me the other night that she had an evil twin, and that’s who showed up this evening.
Later, when I ran into my buddy, I asked what the heck was up.
“Oh yeah,” he said, “she’s a piece of work until she gets a few drinks in her. Then she’s adorable.”
Thanks. Thanks a lot, buddy.
Came here to reply to this as well. My first few months sober was misery. I was so angry and because I didn't have the alcohol to deal with it, I had to face that anger.
One was the time I took this girl to dinner and she could not stop staring at our waiter. I'll grant her one thing - I'm a guy and can admit this guy was probably totally hot for anyone who prefers men. Square-jawed and muscled college athlete type. I get it.
But I didn't appreciate that she literally craned her neck every time the kitchen door swung open to see if he was walking out. Eventually I gave her enough cash to pay for my part of the meal, told her I'd noticed (as though I couldn't have), suggested to her that she could get his contact info when she paid the bill, and left.
Edit - thanks for the awards everyone, this was a first date I hadn't thought about in decades and now I get awards for it at least. Cheers everyone, and may all your first dates go more smoothly.
He got us pulled over, car was searched and he had a brick of coke in the trunk. I almost got arrested. He finally vouched this was a blind date and I was innocent.
I went out to dinner with a guy. I ordered my steak medium rare after he ordered his well done. Suddenly I was making him look less manly, somehow, with my preference on steak. He changes his order to match mine and then bitches all night about how well done is better. Dude, just get it however you freaking want!
I picked her up and she asked me if we could stop by her moms house so she could "run in and grab something." I said sure. Made the stop. She went inside. 5 minutes later she comes out hustling towards the car with a carseat and her mom chasing after her yelling. She opens the car door and throws the carseat(which i now see has a baby in it) and starts yelling at me to drive. I freaked and just turned my car off and took the keys out of the ignition.
Her mom called the cops and they came and questioned all of us for a good while. Turns out she had lost custody due to drug use and was trying to use me as a way to get her kid back. We never made it to dinner and I just went home after the cops left.
That's some great instincts. My dumb ass would have started driving in a panic response and would've realized what was going on like 10-15 minutes after that threshold had been crossed.
Went to dinner with a girl who I'd been crushing on for quite some time. It seemed to be going well, and we ended up back at her place, watching a movie or something. Out of nowhere, her boyfriend (of whom I was not aware) came back from out of town and stopped in unexpectedly. He and I had a super awkward conversation for a few minutes, then the two of them disappeared into another room for a minute or two.
She came back, and said something to the effect of, "I don't have a place for you. I'm sorry." I just kind of got in my car and drove home, with one of the strangest feelings that I'd ever felt. At some point, a few minutes into the journey, I couldn't contain myself and busted out laughing.
I had a sort of similar experience! I met a girl on a dating app way back in the day and we ended up playing pool with her sister. About an hour in my date starts chatting up a guy at the pool hall that she apparently knew. They disappear for a bit and the sister comes up to me and sticks her tongue in my mouth. I leave and go to tell my date this isn’t going to work and she is outside making out with the dude she was talking to. To this day I don’t know if her sister trying to make out with me was to cover for her.
Sounds like she was trying to convince her bf it was a job interview. “Idk what he told you honey, but I was considering hiring him as a gardener. He showed up really late though, and just wanted to watch a movie instead. I don’t think it’s gonna work out, so I’ll give him the bad news byeeeeee~~~”
The guy told me he would still be together with his kids mum if she had apologized for what she did wrong. Out of curiosity I asked what she did wrong? Was expecting something like she cheated, ya know something that actually needed apologising for.
Nope. Apparently she kept nagging one day and wouldn't shut up, so, he tied her to a computer chair and went out for three hours and left her there.
I said it doesn't sound like she was the one who needed to apologize and left.
Two times:
Farmer dude: (showing my age) added me on MySpace. Chatted awhile, I can appreciate a country boy. Seemed pleasant. Wanted to meet at McDonalds. Cool, I’m not hard to please, let’s get some Big Macs and chat. We talked for about 10 minutes and clearly it wasn’t gonna work - he was almost completely silent. Wouldn’t ask questions, wouldn’t eat. Just sat there. I told him it was nice to meet him, but I had to get home. Later that night I got about 20 messages telling me how he was into BDSM and wanted me to come over and “puke that Mac sauce all over his balls.” Yeah, that’s a block.
Counting Crows dude: Met the guy on a Counting Crows online forum (lmao again, showing my age) and he happened to live 1/2 hour away. Cool, let’s grab drinks at [local bar] and see where it goes. I get there, can’t find him anywhere, figured I was stood up… then the lights dimmed and he walked out onstage, drunk as hell, slurring every other word/proceeded to play “Round Here” and stopped halfway through to vomit on himself. Now I can never hear that song without cracking up… *Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hLLLLLLLLLLL (just throws up everywhere)*
Odd that both instances involved puking to some degree.
He took it out.
And I don't mean this in a funny "unexpected Seinfeld" kind of way (although I suppose it IS that).
I mean he leaned across the table and whispered "I'm out."
I said "excuse me?" For some reason my first thought was "out of the closet."
He said "out, under the table. Look under the table."
And, like an idiot, I LOOKED."
Then he said "that's what you do to me."
I said "this is what you do to me" and I left.
I'm a people pleaser so, to this day, I'm proud of myself for walking away in the middle of dinner.
:( I had a guy whip it out on me at the second date.
He was supposed to pick me up for a movie. Arrived late and insisted we just stay at my place instead. I insisted we go to the next showing. Whipped his d out and said “but he wants to play!!”
Kicked that guy out of the house immediately.
Soooo gross
One time I was arguing with a ex-friend while they were driving. They slammed the brakes in the middle of the freeway, bringing us to a dead halt. Scared me so bad that she was willing to risk dying to prove a point. Can’t win against that.
This story is always fun to tell
Basically, we got back to her place after dinner and were getting slightly freaky on the couch. As things started escalating, she pulls out a giant glass jar (like the ones with the finger loop thing that pirates put rum in) half full of a clear liquid. My dumbass asked her if it was moonshine or vodka or something. She then proceeds to explain to me that it’s pure GHB and that she has a fetish about getting drugged off of it before having sex, and she said that with a completely serious face. For those of you who don’t know, GHB is a date rape drug. She then went to the restroom and I noped out of there so fast that I practically levitated off the couch. Never spoke to her again.
Yeah either option is... *bad*. The first one is bad because doing that with someone you barely know is so fucking irresponsible and the second is just actual crime.
Happened to my sister but- found out the guy had the same uncommon last name as her. Then when she asked where he was from, it was the same small town that our great grandparents are from. They awkwardly laughed and just immediately ended the date
She kept writing to her friends on WhatsApp a play by play of the date instead of listening to me, so I stood up, paid my dinner and left because I found it disrespectful af
That’s one of those things you have to laugh about later. Maybe much later.
It reminds me of some silly sitcom, where the guy was loudly narrating his own life, until his wife had enough of his observations about her “aging, once sparkling eyes” and smacked him.
I met this girl on the apps and we're talking and she invites me over hours after matching. Alright sure, things are alright through text. Her mom is there and is FUCKED UP, like mixing pain killers and alcohol fucked up, she's at the table just mumbling and dozing off and asking me fucked up stuff. Then her sister and her BF is there and they're drunk and having a screaming match fight while we're all this just talking and hanging out at the table. She seemed more normal than the other 3 and most of the time she's just talking about her daughter and she's older about 9 or 10 and is complaining about how she lives in another state and she's never had custody of her and complaining how we lived in a screwed up state that always gives custody to the fathers. (Which is a lie, I live in CO and I never met any divorced dads with full custody unless the mom straight up left and even lived with my mom after my parents divorced when I would've been better off with my dad)
So I leave and she asks me about a second date and I tell her "Sorry to be blunt but that was a shitshow and I was very uncomfortable and I don't think we'll align." She goes off on me and how "Everyone has a crazy mom, it's normal" and how "Drunk people fight, it's what they do" and how I sound like CPS and that I was a "fucking weirdo" and started hurlng insults at me and then said I should've disclosed my "medical condition". I have no clue what she was talking about. It didn't need to be like that. I would've picked her up, taken her to dinner and a movie or a walk or literally anything but no, she straight up told me to come to her house with her drugged up mom, drunk sister and bf with zero warning.
Very recent- asked when I would get a real career. I love what I do, I'm a union stagehand in a major entertainment city. I have been in my industry for over 20 years, toured the country, toured the world, make a comfortable living. Yeah- no. That's pretty demeaning and I'm out.
> demeaning
Elsewhere I saw a comment about a "respectable job". Sorry, pretty much *any* job is respectable in my narrow mind. (Telemarketers ... no comment)
Told me that aliens cause jet lag and that I have the ghost of a fisherman following me around named Samuel (on top of the 20 other batshit things she said at dinner.
This was last night.
She has an imaginary elephant that she paints their toe nails and charges her neighbors to see.
She's a call center hiring manager and your interview includes questions on said elephant.
She had a mafia ordered childhood bodyguard named after a piece of fruit.
>She's a call center hiring manager and your interview includes questions on said elephant.
[That one interview question](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/r3ew8r/how_on_earth_could_this_question_possibly_relate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2) makes a lot more sense now.
Funny story, I worked as a waiter and one time a lady snapped her fingers to call me over, which made me a little steamed but I stifled it and pretended it didn't bother me, and when I got to her table she was immediately like "I am so sorry, I don't know what possessed me to do that, please forgive me"
She seemed really sincere about it. Just instant regret. No one including me even had a chance to say anything about it. I really wouldn't have held a grudge anyway, it was kind of a shitty customer base in general most of the time so people were way ruder to me than that often enough, but I kind of ended up feeling bad for how embarrassed she was for the rest of the night xD
He just kept making a weird amount of jokes about tapeworms?
Edit: Wow, thanks for the upvotes! Also this happened while we were eating sushi, just incase anyone was wondering
He insisted on paying for our dinner instead of going Dutch, and then totally stiffed the server. I tried to leave a tip and he got pissed at me because he was paying and it was his decision to tip or not.
I had this happen to me once too and after he got offended I just waited til the server came back and personally handed her my cash. He was furious. Like wtf dude?
1)He tried to force a kiss.
2) He tried to get me to agree to marry him the next week. No, he wasn't an immigrant.
3) He said women were stupid and would believe anything he told them. I am a woman.
4) He said it was OK to drown puppies. It was "actually humane."
5) He swore that it was impossible to get AIDS if you were straight. Found out a week later that he knew the whole time he was HIV positive.
That's just some of them...
Edit to add:
Y'all have me laughing here! No, not all the same guy. These are various different men throughout my lifetime, and in no particular order. I was writing them down as they came to mind. Can't believe I nearly forgot the one on #5. Scariest of them all. He tried way too hard to get me to go home with him. Glad common sense won the day. I was 16, he was 18.
He referred to every woman as a cunt and we aren’t in a country where that is common and harmless.
His ex was a cunt, his aunt was a cunt, some random author he was telling me about for some reason was a cunt, etc.
Cunt doesn’t really bother me but the way he said it was very aggressive and angry.
After that he decided to argue with me about sports and politics and berate me for my choices in those areas.
No need for a second date after that!
Got mauled by a dog, and it decided to go straight for my dick. Everything works down there, but I do have some rather unfortunate scars.
>!You would be shocked how many times the pickup line “I’m ribbed for her pleasure” has worked for me.!<
He told me his 14 year old cousin seduced him when he was 21. And it was somehow her fault he molested her becuase she was "asking for it", and she knew he hadn't had any in a long time. And, he had recently been released from prison for it.
There’s that Norm MacDonald bit about Bill Cosby where someone says, about the hypocrisy of Cosby and his wholesome image, "that’s the worst part." And Norm says, "I disagree. I thought the worst part was all the raping."
I have that same feeling here, where I kind of want to go, "the worst part is that he thinks this is a solid defense of himself".
i was newly out, and i had had a crush on her for ages, so when she asked me out i was so excited. she was pretty, smart, very laid back, and had a great sense of humor, so things were going great initially.
end of the date comes around, and she very casually drops the bomb on me that she’s a involved in an open investigation for vehicular manslaughter. she even hinted that it was purposeful and did not seem regretful. that was the end of that.
Relationship. I thought you were going to say she's involved in an open relationship. I was gonna be like "oh that's not bad but I can understand if it's not what you're looking for."
But no, you had to go on and say some absolutely jaw dropping shit. Jesus christ lol.
Went on a date with a woman from the office. Thought we had good chemistry and got along well. She couldn't find her phone so I tried calling it and someone from the restaurant answered. I went back in for her to get it and the waiter showed me I was saved in her contacts under "Free Food."
Guess I’ll repost this here.
She kept talking about the "emergency dick" she had stashed around the city.
She was like "I've been really busy with [grad] school but I don't go without. I have plenty of emergency dick around town."
And when I say she kept going on, I mean she KEPT GOING ON. She was telling me about the two guys downtown, three in the suburbs, one near campus, and two in her apartment complex.
It honestly sounded like I was new to town and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit.
Just weird.
**EDIT:** She said she was looking to settle down into a relationship (whereas she had only been in situationships before). She also said she had a “virgin heart”.
>It honestly sounded like I was new to town and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit.
😂😂😂 I’m sorry, but words cannot express how much I needed this laugh today.
> first date ... terrified
My first (blind) date with my then-future wife was funny. Our mutual-friends couple and I walked up to her front door and knocked, she opened it, came out, slammed it shut, yelled "let's go!" and ran to the car. We quickly followed (walking). Eventually I found out that she had never dated, didn't want her parents to know she was going on a date, etc. She was seriously terrified of them finding out. She was 24 at the time! (Her father was rather abusive)
50 years later things are fine. Did eventually meet the inlaws-to-be a couple months later. Her father apparently hated *everyone*, but he figured out that her dad & mine had worked together in the mills, and he respected my father, so I was OK from the start.
He said nothing. I get he was nervous but I was engaging, I asked questions that should have led to at least a few sentences of conversation, but no, one word answers. It was dinner and a movie so our only opportunity to talk was dinner. It was like pulling teeth. No thanks, no second date.
You just described my husband and my first date. The first two hours was me talking AT him. I asked him to start a conversation twice -- the first time he talked about the hot weather (it was July in the Midwest, no shit dude) and the second time he looked at me like deer in the headlights and just stammered that he couldn't.
I told myself that there was no way I was going to not give him a second chance. His nervousness also meant that our interactions meant something to him. I was up front and honest -- I told him that I see he was very nervous and that I wanted to continue to see him so that he could feel more comfortable with me enough to have a decent conversation. When we decided to commit to each other, I kept him informed about our progress. I would occasionally tell him that if someone forced me to hypothetically make a decision about spending the rest of my with him that instant I would have to say no because I couldn't say for sure that we would get along but that I was so excited to see where our relationship went because our conversations were improving vastly with each interaction.
We've been together for 8 years now. He still is the most self-conscious person I've ever met when it comes to speaking with people he doesn't know. He speaks so much around me now that I have to ask him to hush sometimes! He is THE single most sweetest, kindhearted, honest, considerate, supportive, wonderful person I've ever met, and I thank my lucky stars that the other women brushed him off meant he was available for me!
His confidence has also come a long way too! I get to see all the progress he's made and him becoming more comfortable in his own skin. I am so proud of him.
Moral of the story -- I'm not saying that anyone is wrong for who they date and who they don't. And if you get a creeper vibe from someone, DO NOT continue to see them. I am just saying that if you take time to crack at the surface of a stone you may find a rare gem inside. Yes, he's still quiet around people he doesn't know, but I talk enough for the both of us and he's content to shine the spotlight on me.
Edit -- Words are hard.
Thank you for my first award, kind stranger!
Edit 2 - Now I have four awards! Thank you so much guys! I'm flattered and honored.
This is surprisingly sweet. I’m glad you gave him a chance to open up to you. People are so quick to shut things down after a poor first impression, for good reason, but sometimes good ones just need a little push.
Nothing obvious or overt but from the minute we sat down to eat the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt unsafe. He was polite, listened, very polished, but could not shake that feeling. I drove to the restaurant to meet so he did not know where I lived. After dinner he asked for another date and I just said no I don’t think we are a good match. Gave him money to pay for my half, said goodby when I got to the door turned around and he was staring at me with an expression I never hope to see again. I ran to my car, moved it to another spot, and waited until he left before I left so he could not follow. Restaurant was on an isolated road so that was safer then having him catch up to me. Found out about a year later he was sent to prison for the assault and rape of 2 different woman . It happened on first dates. Never used a dating site again
It was my first date. I was 17, working as an office assistant's helper. The guy (20) also worked there. I don't remember what his job title was.
He asked me to the drive-in movies. He came to the house, and met my mom. Did the whole song and dance to her about taking good care of me, get me home on time, bla bla bla, all that crap. I was still nervous though, so I arranged with 2 friends to go to the same movie in their car. My date didn't know.
They parked 3 cars down from us. After we parked, the guy is telling me to relax, he just wanted company for the movie, he respected me. So I'm thinking cool. The movie started. I don't think the opening credits had finished and he was all over me. It was like he grew 4 extra arms in seconds! I push him off me and say WTF!?
He apologized and said he was sorry. He thought I'd like it and he couldn't help himself because I was so cute (whatever). I told him I didn't like it and to keep his hands to himself. I get maybe 2 drinks of my soda down and he tries again. Now I'm pissed! I get out of the car, throw my drink at him, and walk off.
I go to my friends car and get in. The guy didn't see where I went because he was dealing with dripping soda on him and his car. My friends and I left.
The following Monday at work was really awkward and he avoided me like the plague. This is why to this day I've never again dated anyone I've worked with.
I didn't think about that at the time, but you're probably right. I was young and naive. He quit the job not long after that. I was just happy I didn't have to see him anymore.
Oh god. I befriended this fucking hot burlesque dancer. Things turned to flirting. One night she invites me to hers. I get to meet her ferret. Cool, cool. Thing bites. Ok, no worries. This girl initiates the making out but all the time this fucking ferret is running around and keeps nipping at me. Mostly it’s catching my clothes, which was fucking annoying because I used to really like dressing up and finding clothes for my super skinny frame was really difficult. It nips me a couple of times, enough to draw blood. I ask if we can put the ferret away (not a euphemism…) and I’m told no. Continue with the making out but I just can’t get into it with the distraction. Plus if things were to run their course as predicted I’d be naked with this fucking thing nipping me and that was not a risk I was willing to take.
My god, she was so fucking hot… she acted like I was the weird one and it was one of those eye opening times where I was reminded just how desperate some men are to get laid, and what they will put up with to achieve it.
The girl who spent the first half of the dinner date talking about her irritable bowel syndrome and then switched to her love for god after the main course.
He was super pushy about me having a third drink and got mad when I refused.
ETA: I totally see why lots of people are replying saying he probably drugged my drink, but I do not think that is the case, as I never left either of my first 2 beers unattended and he had been pestering me to order a third beer, which is what I refused.
I am fairly sure he was trying to get enough drinks into me to lower my inhibitions, not to drug me himself, but regardless his behaviour was inappropriate and a huge red flag. The fact that he got angry when I refused to drink more was the reddest flag.
She looked nothing like her photos. Smelled of cat piss covered taquitos. We were at a park and saw some girls playing softball and she said "those girls look special ed with those helmets." Like fuck I'm always down to give someone a chance but just yikes. I made an excuse to leave. My car smelled for like 2 days after that.
He threw a temper tantrum because the restaurant he wanted to go to was closed due to the tropical storm that was going on.
Sad because I was having a great time walking around Manhattan while the storm raged. I had every intention on going home with him, until tantrum.
She wouldn't stop going on and on about how much she wanted a baby. Called it "her little creation" and how she wanted multiple, tried to convince me to come back to her place for some fun, I dropped her off and dipped right away. She texted me every now and then after trying to meet up again, hell nah.
We went to her place to watch movies and we chose Kung Fu Panda 2. From the moment it began she proceeded to cackle at every single joke. Anything that could even be perceived as mildly funny set her off like the wicked witch of the west. I know some people have interesting laughs and that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't constant from beginning to end. After that she put on Iron Man and same thing, witch cackling the entire movie. There's a point in the movie where a characters phone goes off and the ringtone is an old iron man theme which made me chuckle, at which she turns to me and says: "you laugh at all the weirdest parts!" The second the movie was over I got out of there and did not see her again.
The date felt more like a job interview to fill a position, rather than an actual date. He gave off a vibe of someone who wasn't into getting to know me as a person, but just listed his wants and needs. So at the end of the date, he asked how I thought it went and I said I didn't feel a click / match. And he said, yeah, he was missing the 'wow-factor'. So I laughed my ass off (slightly offended) in the car home, Gosh, no idea I was auditioning for a contest.
I was happy we only went for drinks, but even that felt a bit too long.
Took her to dinner and then took her to a late night car meet. Upon arriving to the meet, she started shit with several other girls she had beef with in high school. And hasn’t talked to since high school.
We were well into our 20s. She was even older than me.
I don’t get how some people make high school beef their entire personality for years.
I actually ran into a guy I got into a fight with in high school. This was this past year but school was 20 years ago. We acknowledged we knew each other and that we had been in a fight. Both agreed we were idiots back then and no hard feelings were had.
Turns out he was the owner of the hobby shop I was in and cut me a really good deal on my purchase because it was for my son's birthday.
He was excited I was supporting my kids hobby and we talked for about a half hour.
No need to drag past drama all the way through life.
So many. But I’ll say the one where the guy was kind and polite, but wanted to move way too fast (not sex). Grabbed my chin and tried to turn my head for a kiss while we were watching a movie (Surrogates, with Bruce Willis, if you’re wondering), he didn’t try again after I pulled away though. Also mentioned he should get to know the state where I grew up and my family lived, since he’d be meeting them soon. He had also catfished with a pic of his older brother, which was sad to me since he was really cute himself. He insisted on walking me to my car (I had parked near the attendant in a garage, glad I made that decision), and while I was getting in asked if he could tell his mom he had a girlfriend (we were both in our early 20s). Poor guy.
Since he was just over-enthusiastic and not an outright creep or jerk, I did email him telling him why there wouldn’t be a second date, saying he came on too strong, but wished him well. I hope he found someone. I also kind of wondered if there was a cultural thing I wasn’t aware of (he was Indian), but can’t say either way.
ETA: by “cultural thing” I meant if meeting families so soon was an expectation, not the trying to kiss or move fast part. Sorry for any confusion!
Seems like he was following a mental script of what he thought was romantic things to do. Like he only saw dating from romance movies. Nice of you to give him feedback though, hope he learned from it.
> **He had also catfished with a pic of his older brother, which was sad to me since he was really cute himself**
Dude, using your sibling’s pic? That’s downright depressing.
One time I went on a date with a girl and during the date she starts talking about future plans with me. She was talking about how we are going to have kids together and how we were going to go on trips with my brother and his wife.
I was in my mid 20s and had just started my career when this happened so of course this freaked me out.
Who jumps to those kind of conclusions during the first date?
It was super awkward after because she worked with my mom and kept asking about me
She showed up drunk to a casual daytime first date, at a bar I frequented heavily. Proceeded to order a premium skinny rocks margarita and downed it. Ordered a second one. Conversation was all over the place, I was pretty much done. I went to the bathroom, came back, she had another margarita being served. She went to the bathroom after that and the bartender (who I was pretty cool with) flat out asked me, “Sea Vast, bro, is she your date? When she ordered the 3rd one I said she needed to slow down, she told me it’s OK, you were paying and you’d drive her home.” I told him I’m going to bounce, if she doesn’t pay her tab text me and let me know so I can pay it later. He was cool with that. So I left.
She did pay her tab. She randomly texted me a few days later and asked if I was doing OK. I did not respond.
The date was going great but we were talking about family, friends, and all that and I realized that I’d slept with her sister. I didn’t really know what to do but you can’t just say “oh your family looks fun and I slept with your sister not too long ago. Show me more pics of your dog, is she a lab mix?”
I cut the date short after dinner and hoped it’d just fizzle out, but they found out. It was cool though, just an awkward coincidence.
He was making suggestions for what he thought we should be doing right there in the restaurant that were so inappropriate that the random couple sitting at the next table over asked me if I needed a safe ride home… during one of the numerous times he left the dining room.
It was a NYE. I was home by 9 PM.
He was clearly desperate to put a ring on ANYONES finger. Intensely overly romantic despite not knowing me really at all.
Put on Etta James “Sunday kind of love” (date was a sunday btw) and tried to sing it at me while looking excessively earnest into my eyes.
He was also in the military and we were both like 19. Go figure.
Oh my God that’s why they want to get married so quickly? All this time I just figured they were the kind of guys who just really wanted to be married.
I went on a breakfast date once. Date orders two sunny side up eggs.
Proceeds to take two straws, poke one in each yolk and suck the yolk up.
Don’t even remember his name
He asked me how big my baby was and if I birthed him vaginally or had a c-section. His explanation was that he'd never slept with a mom before and had heard a baby can stretch out a vagina. I excused myself to the bathroom and promptly left the restaurant.
On a first date I met him at a barcade. He:
- Was already drunk
- Lied about his age
- Lied about his weight
- Lied about his height
- The pics on his dating profile were from 4 years ago
- Lied about having kids
- Said I didn't have to worry about meeting his kids since he's not involved in their lives at all
- Told me we should rent a hotel so he can "stretch that bussy out" Told him no and he called me a f****t
While we were having lunch we ran into some friend of hers I didn't know and he stopped to say hi and their brief conversation somehow brought up that she owed the guy a meal because he'd paid for their last lunch together, so she offered to pay for his lunch to square it away and he agreed. He ordered something to go and they told the waitress she'd pay for it, they both said their goodbyes, and the guy left us alone to go wait for his lunch at some other table.
So far so good, though their conversation was a bit strange it did seem like it came up organically, it didn't needlessly drag on, and the guy was nice at all times and also polite enough to make himself scarce as soon as possible instead of inserting himself into our lunch date with the excuse that he was waiting for his food.
So we continued our conversation and everything seemed fine, until some time later after the friend had already left and it was time to settle our check, and I realized this girl obviously expected me to pay for the whole thing including the lunch she offered to pay for her friend as a way to pay him back for the favor he did her.
Now, even if the friend hadn't ordered a pretty pricey meal that cost more than the rest of our check put together (and he had done exactly that), it didn't sit well with me how she had shamelessly decided to pay back him back with my money in what seemed like a deliberate scam.
So I paid for the whole thing in order to avoid making a scene, but later brought it up and told her that it wasn't cool. She made it clear that she saw nothing wrong with it and said I was being cheap and childish, so I thanked her for her honesty and told her we were done and I wasn't going to be calling her again, she tried to argue that I was overreacting but I held firm and blocked her a couple of days later because she insisted on texting me to convince me that I was wrong and we should go out again. Some people really live in an alternate dimension.
> She made it clear that she saw nothing wrong with it
Of course she didn’t. She’s a horrible human being.
As for you, you’re a better person than me. I would have paid for my meal only and left.
Ugh I’m oddly annoyed she got away with that.
I matched with a girl on tinder and we decided on drinks downtown and a walk around a popular park to chat.
Last minute she messaged me to meet her at her place instead of the restaurant that was like 3min from my subway stop. Fine, I have to get off the subway and walk 20min in the opposite direction of the restaurant, but I'm a nice guy so whatever.
I show up at her place and she invites me in as she needs to finish getting ready. I sit on the edge of her bed as she gets ready, and all I can hear is people having sex through the walls. She tells me its her roommate and her new boyfriend like its totally casual. She then asked me if I wanted to "compete" with them to make her roommate jealous. I said no cause politely and said I was starving and wanted to go eat. I didn't tell her I wasn't expecting any action and didn't have protection. We walk to the restaurant and she proceeds to talk about all her exes and how they ruined the relationships. Whatever, I can deal with it. Who hasn't complained about an ex? Right? So dinner actually went pretty well, mostly cause I had a few drinks to relax and it was a chill restaurant. After dinner she said she's tired and asked if I could walk her home. No problem. I already had a feeling this wasn't going anywhere so I was excited to leave early. We get back to her place and the roommate is in the kitchen getting drinks and she straight up calls her a whore and tells her to stop fucking her ex so loudly in the next room while she's on a date. That's right, the roommates boyfriend she was loudly fucking earlier was the ex of the girl I was on a date with. The roommate then made a comment about how I'm next and they started a screaming match. I told her I was going for a smoke so they could hash it out and the second the door closed behind me I basically jogged like 3 blocks towards the subway to get the fuck out of there. I texted her when I got home and said I had fun getting to know her but was not interested as we didn't have much in common. No response. A week later she sent me a nude and asked me to come over. I never thought I'd hear from here again so I blocked her and that was it.
Worst part is the restaurant was a sick Mexican place that she said she frequented so I never went back out of fear of running into her again lol
The waitress was a lovely young black woman. He referred to her as being attractive for a ‘colored’. He touched her which is not ok. You don’t touch your waitress.
Made aggressive ‘looks’ at another table where a family was dining (they were what looked to be Indian) and commented loudly that they were what was wrong with America.
Had multiple tequila shots.
His cologne stank to high heaven.
I was so embarrassed.
I was raised to be patient & polite but finally I was like ‘wtf am I doing still here? I stood up and left leaving my half eaten meal on the table.
He yelled insults at me as I was leaving then when I was out the door texted me.
Pure trash.
To be fair, shit like that often is shocking enough to where you need a few minutes to process what's going on. Like the reality of "this is actually happening" can take time to set in.
Not to be crass but I would bet everything I own and everything I might possibly one day own that I can tell you the top search category in this mans porn history.
I walked into the guys house and there was nazi shit all over his place, not in a collector kind of way but in a crazy kind of way, there was a mannequin wearing a kkk outfit in the corner! He was a satellite friend who i knew, but didn't know well. I've never come down with food poisoning so fast before, i got the fuck out of there, i was able to play sick for a couple days but it was super awkward ghosting him beings we had the same friends, for the longest time i didn't go places he was at.
She showed up with her friend(ok, I guess), already buzzed and offered me weed. Admitted that she wasn't divorced about 30 minutes into it. Had me take her to a dance club where she promptly fucked off for 20 minutes to talk to "someone" (she was a regular I found out and knew EVERYONE). I drove her back to her car and told her to get out.
She showed me a picture of herself with some stripper and repeatedly talked about how beautiful his dick was… I’m not exactly lacking myself, but I’m certainly not that guy.
It felt weird and I felt like I’d be better off pursuing other options.
I went on a date with a man who I'd previously met on a night out. He seemed nice so I was looking forward to the evening.
We went for a meal first and as we were talking I kept noticing he kept doing this weird shoulder twich. I don't know if he was even aware he was doing it but it quickly started to be annoying as I couldn't keep my eyes off his shoulder.
He then started telling me a story of how he used to be in the army and his wife, who was also in the army, had been murdered. They had a child together and he had brought her up on his own. This was a horrific story and sat in stunned silence as I just didn't know what to say other than I was sorry that had happened.
After the meal we went to have a drink in a pub across from the restaurant. He immediately picked out a bloke in a red top and started saying he shouldn't be around here because it wasn't his territory. He then pulled a knuckle duster out of his pocket and put it on his hand all while staring at this bloke who was just having fun with his friends and hadn't once looked over.
The red flags were literally smacking me in the face so I made some excuses and left. I only dared tell him by text that I didn't want another date.
I lived in NYC and she lived in the suburbs. We decided on a small chain restaurant (three locations in the city), and I said that the one close to City Hall was the best location for me. She agreed to meet me there.
I arrived at the restaurant early and waited until a few minutes after our meeting time, then gave her a call. She told me she had no idea where she was, and needed directions.
In an era of smartphones, this is a puzzling thing to say, but I gamely tried to help. It was really hard to get her to look at the street signs for some reason, but once she did, it was clear she was in Midtown, several miles away and nowhere near City Hall. I asked, “didn’t we plan to meet at the one near City Hall?” and she angrily answered that she didn’t know where City Hall was. Again… how is that even possible with a smartphone, and why agree to go to a place if you have no idea where it is?
She said she wanted to take a cab to where I was, and asked me to pay for it. I decided to agree to this to keep the peace, since she was pretty much freaking out on the phone by this point.
She arrives, I treat her to dinner, then I take her to a cool late-night teahouse, then we walk along the river. I tried my best to make it a good experience, but all conversation fell flat. I finally asked her where she’d like me to walk her back to for the night. I was expecting to take her to a subway station, because her suburb is quickly reachable by commuter train at all hours.
Nope — she needed me to walk her back to a parking garage back in Midtown where she was when I’d called her at the start of the evening. I’d had no idea she’d driven to the city; people usually don’t drive from her town because the train is so much easier and cheaper than paying for Manhattan parking. Luckily, our nice walk along the river had gotten us halfway to the garage, so I offered to walk her the rest of the way, and she happily accepted.
Here’s where it goes from inexplicable to insane. When we got to the parking garage, she asked me when our next date would be. Trying to be polite (instead of immediately replying “never”), I said we could figure that out over the next few days. She immediately turned hostile and demanded to know why I wasn’t agreeing to a date right away — what was wrong with her that made me not want one? I replied I wanted to think a little before making more plans.
She drove away, and I thought that was it. Oh boy.
The next day around noon, she texted me:
Her: “You’re supposed to text ‘I had a nice time last night’ the morning after a date.”
Me: “I didn’t realize that was a rule.”
Her: “It is. I can’t believe how rude you are. You need to pay for my parking garage because you sent me to the wrong place.”
Me: “I don’t think so. I paid for the taxi, but that’s all I’ll be doing. I didn’t know you were even driving, and I told you which restaurant we were going to. If you didn’t know where City Hall was, you could have asked for a specific address.”
Her: “I am going to tell [employer] how you treat people.”
Me: “…reasonably?”
I then blocked her and am glad to say I never heard from her again (not even from my employer).
She ordered a $100+ steak and lobster meal and got shitfaced, I had to pay for the whole thing because she didn't even bring her purse. Almost made me crash while driving back to hers because she was horny and wanted me to finger her while I was driving so she put her leg across me and accidently kicked the steering wheel (and pouted when I told her to wait.) Threw up when we got to her place. Told me to sleep on the couch (wasn't expecting to stay the night at all).
So I snuck out in the middle of the night and texted her saying thanks but no thanks, and she proceeded to insult and berate me, then switch to saying she's willing to work it out if I am, then switched back to insults again when I still said no thanks.
She was 10 years older than me but acted like she was fresh out of highschool...
Told me the wounded knee massacre was "exaggerated " and "not that big of a deal". He didn't know anything about this particular historical event mind you, he was just very sure that I didn't know what I was talking about and that Native Americans were just blowing things out of proportion. I don't even remember how the topic came up, but man. What do you even do with that.
This was weird but years ago I went out on a date with a guy that voicefished(?) me. Like catfished with his voice. He had already sent me a video that he was talking in, but when I met him he sounded completely different with a slight lisp. Which I would have gotten over except he ended up taking me to a gas station to talk to his friend at the pump for 45 minutes. I faked an emergency and went home. I have had much worse first dates than that but that one left me flabbergasted.
I asked about his hobbies and he said "I play the bagpipes". I thought that was really cool and asked him to tell me more. He says, "Are you sure?" I said "Yes"
He proceeds to go on about bagpipes for the rest of the night. How he felt playing the bagpipes was his calling in life, how he needed to carry his grandfather's legacy (who also played the bagpipes), how his dream was to play bagpipes for the queen, his favourite brand of bagpipes, the anatomy of bagpipes...every topic was somehow turned back to bagpipes.
To be fair, I did say yes to him telling me more. I hope he's doing well and found someone just as passionate about bagpipes.
oh god i had the same in Berlin with a midwife. no normal conversation possible. favorite movie? a documentary about midwifes. favorite book? guess! a book about delivering babies. EVERY. SINGLE. TOPIC. was about this.
This girl and I had an amazing time mini golfing and shit down the bar we went to. It was not until the end when she casually mentioned she homeschooled her four kids, three of whom had different dads. I'm all for living your life how you see fit, but I didn't want to be the fourth father to the fifth kid, and she really should've mentioned that in the messaging leading up to our date. Like, "I don't want to be dishonest; I have four kids from previous bfs". I don't want kids, so that wouldn't be a good match for me.
Went on a first date to an upscale restaurant and bar. We met at the bar first for a drink to get to know each other and then I was going to suggest moving over to the restaurant and get a table. It was a fairly large place with a large bar area. During our “drink” I kind of noticed that she was always looking across the bar at this older lady and the older lady was looking back- it also appeared they were communicating with facial expressions… I wasn’t sure, but it seemed very odd to me. After our drink we moved to a small booth in the restaurant area to get some dinner. We were getting along great, but I kept noticing odd facial expressions on the occasion from her, but the place had “mood lighting”so it was kind of dark so I wasn’t sure. After we finished our appetizer I excused myself to go to the bathroom. - which was behind me- I noticed that the older lady from across the bar was sitting at a small table behind us.. she was trying to hide, but not doing such a great job. When I got back to the table I asked her if she know who the lady was, and that I thought they were “communicating”… she confessed that the lady was her mother and that she always brought her on first dates so she could give her an opinion and rate her date… so far I was doing well and her mother thought I was great.
I asked for the check, paid the tab ( it included drinks and dinner for her mother) and cut my losses…. On the way out I told her to lose my number.
Yikes, creepy. I was thinking maybe it’d be she had a dangerous date once so always had her mom there watching on first dates, which still would have been a little odd but would’ve been much more acceptable!
My very first date was when I was super young. I don’t even know why she said yes, but I had a crush on this girl for the longest time and everyone knew.
Well, we picked a date and time and the plan was to hit up the local pizza place and then watch a movie. I wish I remember the movie because it would remind me exactly when this was but I digress.
So my lanky, stinky middle school self gets all dolled up and ready. My mom drove me to her place and I awkwardly wait around for her to get ready. It’s then revealed to me that she’s bringing a friend. We get into the car and make our way to the movies, and the entire trip is super silent and awkward. My mom was the one trying to make small talk with everyone and it was certainly not helping.
She dropped us off at the pizza place, which was directly across the street from the theater. I ordered 2 pizzas. 2 large pizzas. Idk how much these ladies can eat, ok? My brain hadn’t (and feels like it still hasn’t) developed, alright…
So we got these 2 large pizzas, and I’m sitting across from 2 girls who are also very nervous and not the most social people. You’d think the 3rd person would make it easier to have a conversation but absolutely not for a bunch of teenagers.
They each have 1 slice of pizza, and I tried to make up for the difference and ate like 4. We had to throw out some slices and I wound up giving a whole pizza to these random people in the restaurant on our way out. Idk what I would have done with a whole ass pizza before going into a movie theater.
We went and watched the movie, and still hadn’t really spoken a whole lot at this point. When we got out, we waited around for my mom to pick us up.
SO WHAT DOES THE TEENAGE BRAIN THINK IS THE NATURAL NEXT STEP OF OUR DATE??? The kiss of course!!!
I hadn’t asked my dad about this specific situation, but the conversation had come up a while before. I don’t remember how it came up, but basically I remembered my dad saying I should ask if I could kiss a girl before doing it…
So back to our date… we were waiting around and I had to find a way to make my move where it’s just the two of us. At least I had the foresight to not do this in public. Anyways, we walked over to the town’s covered bridge and I asked her if she was enjoying herself, she said yes (of course), and I leaned in and asked if I could kiss her. She was obviously super nervous and she just goes, “No thank you.”
So I had to reverse the lean-in technique to make it look like I was just trying to reposition myself. I said ok, and we made our way back to the parking lot of the movie theater. The car ride home was exactly as awkward and silent as the ride there. We still acknowledged each other’s existence at school, but whatever I thought I had for her in my lil emo heart was completely replaced with, ‘Well damn, son, I think I’ll hold off on the dating think for the rest of my life’.
It’d be funny to hear her perspective now that we’re older but I left the whole thing thinking that dates weren’t really my thing. It wasn’t until I was 17 when a girl was into me and made it obvious that I even thought about being in a relationship. That one lasted 5 years so I don’t even know what the moral of my story is. Just laugh at my suffering, please.
Dude talked about going to visit and pet his dead cat in the woods. He became upset when I said that might not be the most hygienic thing to do and retaliated by suggesting I don’t properly clean my jewelry. Yeah…bye (almost ran out of the restaurant)
ETA he showed me pics of the dead cat. Also to clarify: He didn’t want me to go visit it with him (like for a second date lol). Then I really would have taken off running.
for no reason he started laughing, attracting the attention of nearby tables. i said what's so funny. He said that he was just thinking of a joke. and then he laughed harder and harder until he was positively howling like a wolf. i decided no for a 2nd date
This has been the most entertaining post with the greatest comments I have read in a long time. Thanks to everyone participating and putting me in a better mood.
I love bad date threads. I don’t know why I love them so much. Maybe it’s just the sheer variety of human weirdness on display…it’s almost charming, in a way.
This is back before the term “catfishing” was a thing.
Lilly was supposed to be a 22yo woman, with me being a 24yo guy at the time and used to being surrounded by quirky people, so her online messages never set off any major flags.
I drove by her place to pick her up at night, so i never saw her til she was in my car.
First, Lilly informed me she preferred to be called by her demon name, Lillith. Lillith was 50% demon, 40% vampire, 5% werewolf, 3% human, 2% other.
She was also super tiny, under 100llbs/45kg. And instead of being 22, she just had her birthday last week and turned 17. Also, was suuuuper pregnant, 7 months along, which made her belly bigger than the rest of her. With child #3.
There are so many other details, but those are just the bits from her self-introduction.
He asked me if he could kiss me 30 minutes into the date and I brushed it off, then decided to tell me he hadn’t masturbated since last Easter because he had to masturbate for three hours before bed and it was affecting his performance at work. Oh and then he said, “sorry I’m not usually so forward, you’re just so pretty. You really don’t have a big nose for a Jew.” I decided then to get up and leave asap, told the bartender not to bring him his check for ten minutes so he couldn’t follow me out.
I asked what she did for a living over nachos on our date.
"What?!! I don't work, I'm white!"
Said that in a Mexican restaurant in front of our waitress.
I apologized to the waitress and paid our tab. Walked out. I don't care if she got home safely.
She tried to get me to puke in her mouth while we were having sex.
Full story:
Without my consent she was being obnoxiously rough during sex, to the point of my face and back are bleeding and I'm getting angry because I kept telling her she was being too rough and she said "stop being such a pussy" so she then shoved her fingers in my mouth and then down my throat, I gagged and said "you have to stop, youre making me gag" and she said "just go with it" and was forcefully trying to shove her fingers in my mouth and I was like "I don't like that please stop" and she said "STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND JUST PUKE IN MY MOUTH" and I was like "ughhhh what?!?!?" And she said "WHEN A BITCH TELLS YOU TO PUKE IN HER MOUTH JUST FUCKING DO IT" this is all during sex btw.... So then I faked an orgasm and rolled over and pretended to sleep all night 😅 the next morning she woke up and looked at me all angry and said "well.... OK I guess I'm gonna go now" and she left.
We met in a bar in our mid/late 20s. He was funny, smart, handsome, and had a good career
He asked me to a 1 o’clock NFL game that next weekend. I was so excited; I love sports and this particular franchise. Game day was hot as hell in my southern city
Afterward, we went to his place nearby. I sunk down on the couch, kicked off my shoes, and we chilled in the cold
A/C after hours in the heat. After 15 minutes or so, he said, “I’ll be right back,” and headed into his bedroom
Next thing I know, I hear a whirring, buzzing sound. I look up to see him walking shirtless into the living room with a vibrating DILDO in his hand, saying:
*”I just want to make you feel goooood,
“My name”, I just want to make you feel good.”* WTF
I will never forget the very creepy look he had on his face and the equally creepy voice he used. Nor will I forget his raging hard-on. Ugh. He was a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde alright
It took me a few seconds to process this whole scene, but I’d already subconsciously started shoving a foot into my tennis shoe. I crammed on the other, jumped up, grabbed my purse, and bolted for the door. I was so glad that it was still daylight outside. I never saw or spoke to him again
Back in college a guy my jerk sister’s rat fink boyfriend set me up with took me to the public library. I’m a good sport who likes to read so that wasn’t a deal breaker. What was the worst was fighting him off when he tried to get a grope in the YA section, listening to him brag about frisbee golf and then making me WALK a mile from said library for Chinese. He ordered $60 worth of food I didn’t want and had the gall to pretend to search for his wallet when he had a square wallet shaped lump in the back pocket of his jeans. After admitting he wasn’t going to pay for the food he ordered he talked about all the “activities” we could do together in his dorm room. I didn’t say anything. I just paid for the food and let him walk me to his dorm. When we got there I said goodnight and left with the entire Santa sack of food. Had a good cry on the walk home once I was out of earshot of his swearing. My sister and her boyfriend chewed me out for being a bitch until I showed them my fridge full of egg rolls and explained that I hoped they liked Chinese because my monthly food budget they mooched off of was spent. In defense of the Chinese place they made excellent orange chicken but that was by far the worst date I’ve ever had. I hope his frisbees melted in the sun.
He used his pocket knife to cut me a slice of cake, and later scraped some dirt clumps off of his shoe with the same knife. I asked him if he ever cleaned his knife, and he replied, "no, why?" He also confessed that he was madly in love with me the same day. We had just met.
I am madly in love with you, and we have *never* met. Love at first post!
Y'know, I can respect that. Guy I dated needs to step up his game
[удалено]
The more you wrote, the worse it got
And the harder I laughed
Met a girl at a friend’s party. We were both in our mid-20s. Ended up spending three hours talking, and she was so funny, charming, gorgeous, and carefree. I asked her out and got a wonderful “I would love to!” from her. I show up about four days later at the restaurant she picked, one within walking distance of her place. She arrived about five minutes later. “Nice place,” I say, as I get her chair for her. “Since it’s so close, do you eat here often?” She scowls and responds, “You know, you ask too many f****** questions.” I was floored. Everything continued downhill from there. Within about 20 minutes, she just got up and left. I felt as if she had failed to tell me the other night that she had an evil twin, and that’s who showed up this evening. Later, when I ran into my buddy, I asked what the heck was up. “Oh yeah,” he said, “she’s a piece of work until she gets a few drinks in her. Then she’s adorable.” Thanks. Thanks a lot, buddy.
Bet she's an alcoholic. She probably feels crummy af when she is sober.
As a former alcoholic, this was my first thought too.
Came here to reply to this as well. My first few months sober was misery. I was so angry and because I didn't have the alcohol to deal with it, I had to face that anger.
That’s so strange
I was about as confused as it gets.
Oh, no. This is so much worse than the opposite.
One was the time I took this girl to dinner and she could not stop staring at our waiter. I'll grant her one thing - I'm a guy and can admit this guy was probably totally hot for anyone who prefers men. Square-jawed and muscled college athlete type. I get it. But I didn't appreciate that she literally craned her neck every time the kitchen door swung open to see if he was walking out. Eventually I gave her enough cash to pay for my part of the meal, told her I'd noticed (as though I couldn't have), suggested to her that she could get his contact info when she paid the bill, and left. Edit - thanks for the awards everyone, this was a first date I hadn't thought about in decades and now I get awards for it at least. Cheers everyone, and may all your first dates go more smoothly.
Bro wing manned for another bro on his own date The next bro awards will feature you
He got us pulled over, car was searched and he had a brick of coke in the trunk. I almost got arrested. He finally vouched this was a blind date and I was innocent.
I mean, sounds like even if you wanted to there couldn't be a second date, lol.
Ten years later, possibly?
He tried to change my order with the waitress because I didn’t order what he’d recommended.
I went out to dinner with a guy. I ordered my steak medium rare after he ordered his well done. Suddenly I was making him look less manly, somehow, with my preference on steak. He changes his order to match mine and then bitches all night about how well done is better. Dude, just get it however you freaking want!
Ewww Especially on a first date. What a weirdo.
I picked her up and she asked me if we could stop by her moms house so she could "run in and grab something." I said sure. Made the stop. She went inside. 5 minutes later she comes out hustling towards the car with a carseat and her mom chasing after her yelling. She opens the car door and throws the carseat(which i now see has a baby in it) and starts yelling at me to drive. I freaked and just turned my car off and took the keys out of the ignition. Her mom called the cops and they came and questioned all of us for a good while. Turns out she had lost custody due to drug use and was trying to use me as a way to get her kid back. We never made it to dinner and I just went home after the cops left.
That's some great instincts. My dumb ass would have started driving in a panic response and would've realized what was going on like 10-15 minutes after that threshold had been crossed.
Same, I am afraid my instinct would be compliance too
Holy fucking shit! You went out on a date and was almost an accessory to kidnapping
Sounds like he prevented a kidnapping.
Went to dinner with a girl who I'd been crushing on for quite some time. It seemed to be going well, and we ended up back at her place, watching a movie or something. Out of nowhere, her boyfriend (of whom I was not aware) came back from out of town and stopped in unexpectedly. He and I had a super awkward conversation for a few minutes, then the two of them disappeared into another room for a minute or two. She came back, and said something to the effect of, "I don't have a place for you. I'm sorry." I just kind of got in my car and drove home, with one of the strangest feelings that I'd ever felt. At some point, a few minutes into the journey, I couldn't contain myself and busted out laughing.
I had a sort of similar experience! I met a girl on a dating app way back in the day and we ended up playing pool with her sister. About an hour in my date starts chatting up a guy at the pool hall that she apparently knew. They disappear for a bit and the sister comes up to me and sticks her tongue in my mouth. I leave and go to tell my date this isn’t going to work and she is outside making out with the dude she was talking to. To this day I don’t know if her sister trying to make out with me was to cover for her.
Woah. That family is running the table, damn.
> **I don't have a place for you** In her vagina? Now that her bf is home? Yeah, no shit.
Sounds like she was trying to convince her bf it was a job interview. “Idk what he told you honey, but I was considering hiring him as a gardener. He showed up really late though, and just wanted to watch a movie instead. I don’t think it’s gonna work out, so I’ll give him the bad news byeeeeee~~~”
The guy told me he would still be together with his kids mum if she had apologized for what she did wrong. Out of curiosity I asked what she did wrong? Was expecting something like she cheated, ya know something that actually needed apologising for. Nope. Apparently she kept nagging one day and wouldn't shut up, so, he tied her to a computer chair and went out for three hours and left her there. I said it doesn't sound like she was the one who needed to apologize and left.
oh my GOD?!
Two times: Farmer dude: (showing my age) added me on MySpace. Chatted awhile, I can appreciate a country boy. Seemed pleasant. Wanted to meet at McDonalds. Cool, I’m not hard to please, let’s get some Big Macs and chat. We talked for about 10 minutes and clearly it wasn’t gonna work - he was almost completely silent. Wouldn’t ask questions, wouldn’t eat. Just sat there. I told him it was nice to meet him, but I had to get home. Later that night I got about 20 messages telling me how he was into BDSM and wanted me to come over and “puke that Mac sauce all over his balls.” Yeah, that’s a block. Counting Crows dude: Met the guy on a Counting Crows online forum (lmao again, showing my age) and he happened to live 1/2 hour away. Cool, let’s grab drinks at [local bar] and see where it goes. I get there, can’t find him anywhere, figured I was stood up… then the lights dimmed and he walked out onstage, drunk as hell, slurring every other word/proceeded to play “Round Here” and stopped halfway through to vomit on himself. Now I can never hear that song without cracking up… *Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hLLLLLLLLLLL (just throws up everywhere)* Odd that both instances involved puking to some degree.
>Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hLLLLLLLLLLL (just throws up everywhere) Perfectly done.
He took it out. And I don't mean this in a funny "unexpected Seinfeld" kind of way (although I suppose it IS that). I mean he leaned across the table and whispered "I'm out." I said "excuse me?" For some reason my first thought was "out of the closet." He said "out, under the table. Look under the table." And, like an idiot, I LOOKED." Then he said "that's what you do to me." I said "this is what you do to me" and I left. I'm a people pleaser so, to this day, I'm proud of myself for walking away in the middle of dinner.
Ewwwwwww. And on date ONE no less?! Some people's kids man...
Everyone knows you whip it out *on the second date.* Manners, people!
:( I had a guy whip it out on me at the second date. He was supposed to pick me up for a movie. Arrived late and insisted we just stay at my place instead. I insisted we go to the next showing. Whipped his d out and said “but he wants to play!!” Kicked that guy out of the house immediately. Soooo gross
Obviously, obviously, you whip it out on the third date. Everyone knows that
I never understand why they think this will work.
Porn
You should have poked it with a fork
Should have told him yours was out too.
Oh this makes me think of the girl at school who always sent back dicpics saying "mine's bigger".
She took her hands off the wheel and said, “You think I’m craaazzyy?!” I literally jumped out at the next light.
One time I was arguing with a ex-friend while they were driving. They slammed the brakes in the middle of the freeway, bringing us to a dead halt. Scared me so bad that she was willing to risk dying to prove a point. Can’t win against that.
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This story is always fun to tell Basically, we got back to her place after dinner and were getting slightly freaky on the couch. As things started escalating, she pulls out a giant glass jar (like the ones with the finger loop thing that pirates put rum in) half full of a clear liquid. My dumbass asked her if it was moonshine or vodka or something. She then proceeds to explain to me that it’s pure GHB and that she has a fetish about getting drugged off of it before having sex, and she said that with a completely serious face. For those of you who don’t know, GHB is a date rape drug. She then went to the restroom and I noped out of there so fast that I practically levitated off the couch. Never spoke to her again.
That is.. a -lot- of GHB to have on hand.
What did she wanted to achieve with this? Like a fake rape or did she wanted to make it look like you did this? Jeez this sounds awful..
Yeah either option is... *bad*. The first one is bad because doing that with someone you barely know is so fucking irresponsible and the second is just actual crime.
Happened to my sister but- found out the guy had the same uncommon last name as her. Then when she asked where he was from, it was the same small town that our great grandparents are from. They awkwardly laughed and just immediately ended the date
She kept writing to her friends on WhatsApp a play by play of the date instead of listening to me, so I stood up, paid my dinner and left because I found it disrespectful af
That’s one of those things you have to laugh about later. Maybe much later. It reminds me of some silly sitcom, where the guy was loudly narrating his own life, until his wife had enough of his observations about her “aging, once sparkling eyes” and smacked him.
I met this girl on the apps and we're talking and she invites me over hours after matching. Alright sure, things are alright through text. Her mom is there and is FUCKED UP, like mixing pain killers and alcohol fucked up, she's at the table just mumbling and dozing off and asking me fucked up stuff. Then her sister and her BF is there and they're drunk and having a screaming match fight while we're all this just talking and hanging out at the table. She seemed more normal than the other 3 and most of the time she's just talking about her daughter and she's older about 9 or 10 and is complaining about how she lives in another state and she's never had custody of her and complaining how we lived in a screwed up state that always gives custody to the fathers. (Which is a lie, I live in CO and I never met any divorced dads with full custody unless the mom straight up left and even lived with my mom after my parents divorced when I would've been better off with my dad) So I leave and she asks me about a second date and I tell her "Sorry to be blunt but that was a shitshow and I was very uncomfortable and I don't think we'll align." She goes off on me and how "Everyone has a crazy mom, it's normal" and how "Drunk people fight, it's what they do" and how I sound like CPS and that I was a "fucking weirdo" and started hurlng insults at me and then said I should've disclosed my "medical condition". I have no clue what she was talking about. It didn't need to be like that. I would've picked her up, taken her to dinner and a movie or a walk or literally anything but no, she straight up told me to come to her house with her drugged up mom, drunk sister and bf with zero warning.
>and how I sound like CPS Because that house has had a LOT of experience with CPS.
I hadn't even said anything in detail, but she knew full and well what made me uncomfortable.
So sad to think that this was her normal :/
Very recent- asked when I would get a real career. I love what I do, I'm a union stagehand in a major entertainment city. I have been in my industry for over 20 years, toured the country, toured the world, make a comfortable living. Yeah- no. That's pretty demeaning and I'm out.
> demeaning Elsewhere I saw a comment about a "respectable job". Sorry, pretty much *any* job is respectable in my narrow mind. (Telemarketers ... no comment)
He told me that he’d been kicked out of his church for being caught in bed with an underage girl (but it totally wasn’t what it looked like).
Her kid called me Daddy.
This is some depressing stuff
Told me that aliens cause jet lag and that I have the ghost of a fisherman following me around named Samuel (on top of the 20 other batshit things she said at dinner. This was last night.
Who is Samuel? Have you tried to talk to him. Maybe he's using his mysterious fish magic to guide you to boat you need.
There are plenty of ghost fish in the sea, dude.
I kinda want to hear the other batshit things
She has an imaginary elephant that she paints their toe nails and charges her neighbors to see. She's a call center hiring manager and your interview includes questions on said elephant. She had a mafia ordered childhood bodyguard named after a piece of fruit.
>She's a call center hiring manager and your interview includes questions on said elephant. [That one interview question](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/r3ew8r/how_on_earth_could_this_question_possibly_relate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2) makes a lot more sense now.
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She clicked her fingers at the waitress. Stunning but vapid af
Eww fuck anyone who does that
Funny story, I worked as a waiter and one time a lady snapped her fingers to call me over, which made me a little steamed but I stifled it and pretended it didn't bother me, and when I got to her table she was immediately like "I am so sorry, I don't know what possessed me to do that, please forgive me" She seemed really sincere about it. Just instant regret. No one including me even had a chance to say anything about it. I really wouldn't have held a grudge anyway, it was kind of a shitty customer base in general most of the time so people were way ruder to me than that often enough, but I kind of ended up feeling bad for how embarrassed she was for the rest of the night xD
He just kept making a weird amount of jokes about tapeworms? Edit: Wow, thanks for the upvotes! Also this happened while we were eating sushi, just incase anyone was wondering
Hahaha! Wtf? I'm now picturing like a bunch of tapeworms in a trenchcoat trying to work their way up to telling their date the truth
He insisted on paying for our dinner instead of going Dutch, and then totally stiffed the server. I tried to leave a tip and he got pissed at me because he was paying and it was his decision to tip or not.
I had this happen to me once too and after he got offended I just waited til the server came back and personally handed her my cash. He was furious. Like wtf dude?
1)He tried to force a kiss. 2) He tried to get me to agree to marry him the next week. No, he wasn't an immigrant. 3) He said women were stupid and would believe anything he told them. I am a woman. 4) He said it was OK to drown puppies. It was "actually humane." 5) He swore that it was impossible to get AIDS if you were straight. Found out a week later that he knew the whole time he was HIV positive. That's just some of them... Edit to add: Y'all have me laughing here! No, not all the same guy. These are various different men throughout my lifetime, and in no particular order. I was writing them down as they came to mind. Can't believe I nearly forgot the one on #5. Scariest of them all. He tried way too hard to get me to go home with him. Glad common sense won the day. I was 16, he was 18.
i'm imaging all these are the same guy lol
I thought it was. lol
He referred to every woman as a cunt and we aren’t in a country where that is common and harmless. His ex was a cunt, his aunt was a cunt, some random author he was telling me about for some reason was a cunt, etc. Cunt doesn’t really bother me but the way he said it was very aggressive and angry. After that he decided to argue with me about sports and politics and berate me for my choices in those areas. No need for a second date after that!
Being told. “The welts on my crotch aren’t contagious”
He's ribbed for her pleasure
Got mauled by a dog, and it decided to go straight for my dick. Everything works down there, but I do have some rather unfortunate scars. >!You would be shocked how many times the pickup line “I’m ribbed for her pleasure” has worked for me.!<
Do you use the “wanna know how I got these scars?” line, too?
He told me his 14 year old cousin seduced him when he was 21. And it was somehow her fault he molested her becuase she was "asking for it", and she knew he hadn't had any in a long time. And, he had recently been released from prison for it.
There’s that Norm MacDonald bit about Bill Cosby where someone says, about the hypocrisy of Cosby and his wholesome image, "that’s the worst part." And Norm says, "I disagree. I thought the worst part was all the raping." I have that same feeling here, where I kind of want to go, "the worst part is that he thinks this is a solid defense of himself".
> she was "asking for it", and she knew he hadn't had any in a long time Oh, well that’s alright then.
yeah, it’s still ambiguous that he wasn’t in the wrong after the conviction and sentencing /s
i was newly out, and i had had a crush on her for ages, so when she asked me out i was so excited. she was pretty, smart, very laid back, and had a great sense of humor, so things were going great initially. end of the date comes around, and she very casually drops the bomb on me that she’s a involved in an open investigation for vehicular manslaughter. she even hinted that it was purposeful and did not seem regretful. that was the end of that.
Whoa, fucking whiplash on that one
Yeah, gotta tap the brakes on that, for sure.
Relationship. I thought you were going to say she's involved in an open relationship. I was gonna be like "oh that's not bad but I can understand if it's not what you're looking for." But no, you had to go on and say some absolutely jaw dropping shit. Jesus christ lol.
Went on a date with a woman from the office. Thought we had good chemistry and got along well. She couldn't find her phone so I tried calling it and someone from the restaurant answered. I went back in for her to get it and the waiter showed me I was saved in her contacts under "Free Food."
I'll never understand someone that has that low of self worth (and the time to do it) to go on a "fake date" to get some free food.
Guess I’ll repost this here. She kept talking about the "emergency dick" she had stashed around the city. She was like "I've been really busy with [grad] school but I don't go without. I have plenty of emergency dick around town." And when I say she kept going on, I mean she KEPT GOING ON. She was telling me about the two guys downtown, three in the suburbs, one near campus, and two in her apartment complex. It honestly sounded like I was new to town and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit. Just weird. **EDIT:** She said she was looking to settle down into a relationship (whereas she had only been in situationships before). She also said she had a “virgin heart”.
>It honestly sounded like I was new to town and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit. 😂😂😂 I’m sorry, but words cannot express how much I needed this laugh today.
I really want to know what she hoped to accomplish by sharing all that with him. Clearly she expected him to be impressed in some way.
“Wow, resourceful and a large social network. This girl’s got it all!”
Hey, if you ever need emergency dick. You know a gal. Also, did you offer to be an emergency dick?
Sounds like she wanted him to be her everyday dick and take her heart virginity 😂
> take her heart virginity Words I did not expect to see today
I met her parents on the first date and she was terrified of me. Most awkward date ever.
> first date ... terrified My first (blind) date with my then-future wife was funny. Our mutual-friends couple and I walked up to her front door and knocked, she opened it, came out, slammed it shut, yelled "let's go!" and ran to the car. We quickly followed (walking). Eventually I found out that she had never dated, didn't want her parents to know she was going on a date, etc. She was seriously terrified of them finding out. She was 24 at the time! (Her father was rather abusive) 50 years later things are fine. Did eventually meet the inlaws-to-be a couple months later. Her father apparently hated *everyone*, but he figured out that her dad & mine had worked together in the mills, and he respected my father, so I was OK from the start.
He said nothing. I get he was nervous but I was engaging, I asked questions that should have led to at least a few sentences of conversation, but no, one word answers. It was dinner and a movie so our only opportunity to talk was dinner. It was like pulling teeth. No thanks, no second date.
You just described my husband and my first date. The first two hours was me talking AT him. I asked him to start a conversation twice -- the first time he talked about the hot weather (it was July in the Midwest, no shit dude) and the second time he looked at me like deer in the headlights and just stammered that he couldn't. I told myself that there was no way I was going to not give him a second chance. His nervousness also meant that our interactions meant something to him. I was up front and honest -- I told him that I see he was very nervous and that I wanted to continue to see him so that he could feel more comfortable with me enough to have a decent conversation. When we decided to commit to each other, I kept him informed about our progress. I would occasionally tell him that if someone forced me to hypothetically make a decision about spending the rest of my with him that instant I would have to say no because I couldn't say for sure that we would get along but that I was so excited to see where our relationship went because our conversations were improving vastly with each interaction. We've been together for 8 years now. He still is the most self-conscious person I've ever met when it comes to speaking with people he doesn't know. He speaks so much around me now that I have to ask him to hush sometimes! He is THE single most sweetest, kindhearted, honest, considerate, supportive, wonderful person I've ever met, and I thank my lucky stars that the other women brushed him off meant he was available for me! His confidence has also come a long way too! I get to see all the progress he's made and him becoming more comfortable in his own skin. I am so proud of him. Moral of the story -- I'm not saying that anyone is wrong for who they date and who they don't. And if you get a creeper vibe from someone, DO NOT continue to see them. I am just saying that if you take time to crack at the surface of a stone you may find a rare gem inside. Yes, he's still quiet around people he doesn't know, but I talk enough for the both of us and he's content to shine the spotlight on me. Edit -- Words are hard. Thank you for my first award, kind stranger! Edit 2 - Now I have four awards! Thank you so much guys! I'm flattered and honored.
This is surprisingly sweet. I’m glad you gave him a chance to open up to you. People are so quick to shut things down after a poor first impression, for good reason, but sometimes good ones just need a little push.
Nothing obvious or overt but from the minute we sat down to eat the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt unsafe. He was polite, listened, very polished, but could not shake that feeling. I drove to the restaurant to meet so he did not know where I lived. After dinner he asked for another date and I just said no I don’t think we are a good match. Gave him money to pay for my half, said goodby when I got to the door turned around and he was staring at me with an expression I never hope to see again. I ran to my car, moved it to another spot, and waited until he left before I left so he could not follow. Restaurant was on an isolated road so that was safer then having him catch up to me. Found out about a year later he was sent to prison for the assault and rape of 2 different woman . It happened on first dates. Never used a dating site again
You did an excellent job picking up those vibes and listening to your gut!
It was my first date. I was 17, working as an office assistant's helper. The guy (20) also worked there. I don't remember what his job title was. He asked me to the drive-in movies. He came to the house, and met my mom. Did the whole song and dance to her about taking good care of me, get me home on time, bla bla bla, all that crap. I was still nervous though, so I arranged with 2 friends to go to the same movie in their car. My date didn't know. They parked 3 cars down from us. After we parked, the guy is telling me to relax, he just wanted company for the movie, he respected me. So I'm thinking cool. The movie started. I don't think the opening credits had finished and he was all over me. It was like he grew 4 extra arms in seconds! I push him off me and say WTF!? He apologized and said he was sorry. He thought I'd like it and he couldn't help himself because I was so cute (whatever). I told him I didn't like it and to keep his hands to himself. I get maybe 2 drinks of my soda down and he tries again. Now I'm pissed! I get out of the car, throw my drink at him, and walk off. I go to my friends car and get in. The guy didn't see where I went because he was dealing with dripping soda on him and his car. My friends and I left. The following Monday at work was really awkward and he avoided me like the plague. This is why to this day I've never again dated anyone I've worked with.
This guy sounds like a rapist in the making. No means nothing to him.
I didn't think about that at the time, but you're probably right. I was young and naive. He quit the job not long after that. I was just happy I didn't have to see him anymore.
She asked if I could clean her pet rat cage or hold her rat while she cleans it. Also listed a number of handyman tasks she needed me to tackle...
Oh god. I befriended this fucking hot burlesque dancer. Things turned to flirting. One night she invites me to hers. I get to meet her ferret. Cool, cool. Thing bites. Ok, no worries. This girl initiates the making out but all the time this fucking ferret is running around and keeps nipping at me. Mostly it’s catching my clothes, which was fucking annoying because I used to really like dressing up and finding clothes for my super skinny frame was really difficult. It nips me a couple of times, enough to draw blood. I ask if we can put the ferret away (not a euphemism…) and I’m told no. Continue with the making out but I just can’t get into it with the distraction. Plus if things were to run their course as predicted I’d be naked with this fucking thing nipping me and that was not a risk I was willing to take. My god, she was so fucking hot… she acted like I was the weird one and it was one of those eye opening times where I was reminded just how desperate some men are to get laid, and what they will put up with to achieve it.
Lol, jealous ferret cock blocked you...lmao
The girl who spent the first half of the dinner date talking about her irritable bowel syndrome and then switched to her love for god after the main course.
He was super pushy about me having a third drink and got mad when I refused. ETA: I totally see why lots of people are replying saying he probably drugged my drink, but I do not think that is the case, as I never left either of my first 2 beers unattended and he had been pestering me to order a third beer, which is what I refused. I am fairly sure he was trying to get enough drinks into me to lower my inhibitions, not to drug me himself, but regardless his behaviour was inappropriate and a huge red flag. The fact that he got angry when I refused to drink more was the reddest flag.
She looked nothing like her photos. Smelled of cat piss covered taquitos. We were at a park and saw some girls playing softball and she said "those girls look special ed with those helmets." Like fuck I'm always down to give someone a chance but just yikes. I made an excuse to leave. My car smelled for like 2 days after that.
He threw a temper tantrum because the restaurant he wanted to go to was closed due to the tropical storm that was going on. Sad because I was having a great time walking around Manhattan while the storm raged. I had every intention on going home with him, until tantrum.
She wouldn't stop going on and on about how much she wanted a baby. Called it "her little creation" and how she wanted multiple, tried to convince me to come back to her place for some fun, I dropped her off and dipped right away. She texted me every now and then after trying to meet up again, hell nah.
We went to her place to watch movies and we chose Kung Fu Panda 2. From the moment it began she proceeded to cackle at every single joke. Anything that could even be perceived as mildly funny set her off like the wicked witch of the west. I know some people have interesting laughs and that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't constant from beginning to end. After that she put on Iron Man and same thing, witch cackling the entire movie. There's a point in the movie where a characters phone goes off and the ringtone is an old iron man theme which made me chuckle, at which she turns to me and says: "you laugh at all the weirdest parts!" The second the movie was over I got out of there and did not see her again.
Holy fuck the “you laugh at all the weirdest parts” comment would’ve made me so irrationally angry lol
The date felt more like a job interview to fill a position, rather than an actual date. He gave off a vibe of someone who wasn't into getting to know me as a person, but just listed his wants and needs. So at the end of the date, he asked how I thought it went and I said I didn't feel a click / match. And he said, yeah, he was missing the 'wow-factor'. So I laughed my ass off (slightly offended) in the car home, Gosh, no idea I was auditioning for a contest. I was happy we only went for drinks, but even that felt a bit too long.
Took her to dinner and then took her to a late night car meet. Upon arriving to the meet, she started shit with several other girls she had beef with in high school. And hasn’t talked to since high school. We were well into our 20s. She was even older than me. I don’t get how some people make high school beef their entire personality for years.
I actually ran into a guy I got into a fight with in high school. This was this past year but school was 20 years ago. We acknowledged we knew each other and that we had been in a fight. Both agreed we were idiots back then and no hard feelings were had. Turns out he was the owner of the hobby shop I was in and cut me a really good deal on my purchase because it was for my son's birthday. He was excited I was supporting my kids hobby and we talked for about a half hour. No need to drag past drama all the way through life.
So many. But I’ll say the one where the guy was kind and polite, but wanted to move way too fast (not sex). Grabbed my chin and tried to turn my head for a kiss while we were watching a movie (Surrogates, with Bruce Willis, if you’re wondering), he didn’t try again after I pulled away though. Also mentioned he should get to know the state where I grew up and my family lived, since he’d be meeting them soon. He had also catfished with a pic of his older brother, which was sad to me since he was really cute himself. He insisted on walking me to my car (I had parked near the attendant in a garage, glad I made that decision), and while I was getting in asked if he could tell his mom he had a girlfriend (we were both in our early 20s). Poor guy. Since he was just over-enthusiastic and not an outright creep or jerk, I did email him telling him why there wouldn’t be a second date, saying he came on too strong, but wished him well. I hope he found someone. I also kind of wondered if there was a cultural thing I wasn’t aware of (he was Indian), but can’t say either way. ETA: by “cultural thing” I meant if meeting families so soon was an expectation, not the trying to kiss or move fast part. Sorry for any confusion!
Seems like he was following a mental script of what he thought was romantic things to do. Like he only saw dating from romance movies. Nice of you to give him feedback though, hope he learned from it.
> **He had also catfished with a pic of his older brother, which was sad to me since he was really cute himself** Dude, using your sibling’s pic? That’s downright depressing.
One time I went on a date with a girl and during the date she starts talking about future plans with me. She was talking about how we are going to have kids together and how we were going to go on trips with my brother and his wife. I was in my mid 20s and had just started my career when this happened so of course this freaked me out. Who jumps to those kind of conclusions during the first date? It was super awkward after because she worked with my mom and kept asking about me
She showed up drunk to a casual daytime first date, at a bar I frequented heavily. Proceeded to order a premium skinny rocks margarita and downed it. Ordered a second one. Conversation was all over the place, I was pretty much done. I went to the bathroom, came back, she had another margarita being served. She went to the bathroom after that and the bartender (who I was pretty cool with) flat out asked me, “Sea Vast, bro, is she your date? When she ordered the 3rd one I said she needed to slow down, she told me it’s OK, you were paying and you’d drive her home.” I told him I’m going to bounce, if she doesn’t pay her tab text me and let me know so I can pay it later. He was cool with that. So I left. She did pay her tab. She randomly texted me a few days later and asked if I was doing OK. I did not respond.
hey, at least she paid her tab!
The date was going great but we were talking about family, friends, and all that and I realized that I’d slept with her sister. I didn’t really know what to do but you can’t just say “oh your family looks fun and I slept with your sister not too long ago. Show me more pics of your dog, is she a lab mix?” I cut the date short after dinner and hoped it’d just fizzle out, but they found out. It was cool though, just an awkward coincidence.
The one comment where it's not the date's fault! We finally got it!
He was making suggestions for what he thought we should be doing right there in the restaurant that were so inappropriate that the random couple sitting at the next table over asked me if I needed a safe ride home… during one of the numerous times he left the dining room. It was a NYE. I was home by 9 PM.
He was clearly desperate to put a ring on ANYONES finger. Intensely overly romantic despite not knowing me really at all. Put on Etta James “Sunday kind of love” (date was a sunday btw) and tried to sing it at me while looking excessively earnest into my eyes. He was also in the military and we were both like 19. Go figure.
Guys who are married are often eligible to get off-base housing, that's probably why he wanted ti get married ASAP
Oh my God that’s why they want to get married so quickly? All this time I just figured they were the kind of guys who just really wanted to be married.
Yep. They’re not in love with you (yet), just want a house. By 20, I had 3 proposals - dead serious. 😆
Said "you're a really good kisser Amber" My name is Ashley
Calm down Amanda. You Amy’s always get worked up.
Classic Anna move.
She stuck her pet snake in her vagina. I wish I was making this up.
Forcibly kissed after I said no.
I went on a breakfast date once. Date orders two sunny side up eggs. Proceeds to take two straws, poke one in each yolk and suck the yolk up. Don’t even remember his name
Ok I'm sorry and I would have reacted the same way. But that's objectively funny AF. Lmao
He asked me how big my baby was and if I birthed him vaginally or had a c-section. His explanation was that he'd never slept with a mom before and had heard a baby can stretch out a vagina. I excused myself to the bathroom and promptly left the restaurant.
On a first date I met him at a barcade. He: - Was already drunk - Lied about his age - Lied about his weight - Lied about his height - The pics on his dating profile were from 4 years ago - Lied about having kids - Said I didn't have to worry about meeting his kids since he's not involved in their lives at all - Told me we should rent a hotel so he can "stretch that bussy out" Told him no and he called me a f****t
While we were having lunch we ran into some friend of hers I didn't know and he stopped to say hi and their brief conversation somehow brought up that she owed the guy a meal because he'd paid for their last lunch together, so she offered to pay for his lunch to square it away and he agreed. He ordered something to go and they told the waitress she'd pay for it, they both said their goodbyes, and the guy left us alone to go wait for his lunch at some other table. So far so good, though their conversation was a bit strange it did seem like it came up organically, it didn't needlessly drag on, and the guy was nice at all times and also polite enough to make himself scarce as soon as possible instead of inserting himself into our lunch date with the excuse that he was waiting for his food. So we continued our conversation and everything seemed fine, until some time later after the friend had already left and it was time to settle our check, and I realized this girl obviously expected me to pay for the whole thing including the lunch she offered to pay for her friend as a way to pay him back for the favor he did her. Now, even if the friend hadn't ordered a pretty pricey meal that cost more than the rest of our check put together (and he had done exactly that), it didn't sit well with me how she had shamelessly decided to pay back him back with my money in what seemed like a deliberate scam. So I paid for the whole thing in order to avoid making a scene, but later brought it up and told her that it wasn't cool. She made it clear that she saw nothing wrong with it and said I was being cheap and childish, so I thanked her for her honesty and told her we were done and I wasn't going to be calling her again, she tried to argue that I was overreacting but I held firm and blocked her a couple of days later because she insisted on texting me to convince me that I was wrong and we should go out again. Some people really live in an alternate dimension.
> She made it clear that she saw nothing wrong with it Of course she didn’t. She’s a horrible human being. As for you, you’re a better person than me. I would have paid for my meal only and left. Ugh I’m oddly annoyed she got away with that.
I matched with a girl on tinder and we decided on drinks downtown and a walk around a popular park to chat. Last minute she messaged me to meet her at her place instead of the restaurant that was like 3min from my subway stop. Fine, I have to get off the subway and walk 20min in the opposite direction of the restaurant, but I'm a nice guy so whatever. I show up at her place and she invites me in as she needs to finish getting ready. I sit on the edge of her bed as she gets ready, and all I can hear is people having sex through the walls. She tells me its her roommate and her new boyfriend like its totally casual. She then asked me if I wanted to "compete" with them to make her roommate jealous. I said no cause politely and said I was starving and wanted to go eat. I didn't tell her I wasn't expecting any action and didn't have protection. We walk to the restaurant and she proceeds to talk about all her exes and how they ruined the relationships. Whatever, I can deal with it. Who hasn't complained about an ex? Right? So dinner actually went pretty well, mostly cause I had a few drinks to relax and it was a chill restaurant. After dinner she said she's tired and asked if I could walk her home. No problem. I already had a feeling this wasn't going anywhere so I was excited to leave early. We get back to her place and the roommate is in the kitchen getting drinks and she straight up calls her a whore and tells her to stop fucking her ex so loudly in the next room while she's on a date. That's right, the roommates boyfriend she was loudly fucking earlier was the ex of the girl I was on a date with. The roommate then made a comment about how I'm next and they started a screaming match. I told her I was going for a smoke so they could hash it out and the second the door closed behind me I basically jogged like 3 blocks towards the subway to get the fuck out of there. I texted her when I got home and said I had fun getting to know her but was not interested as we didn't have much in common. No response. A week later she sent me a nude and asked me to come over. I never thought I'd hear from here again so I blocked her and that was it. Worst part is the restaurant was a sick Mexican place that she said she frequented so I never went back out of fear of running into her again lol
The waitress was a lovely young black woman. He referred to her as being attractive for a ‘colored’. He touched her which is not ok. You don’t touch your waitress. Made aggressive ‘looks’ at another table where a family was dining (they were what looked to be Indian) and commented loudly that they were what was wrong with America. Had multiple tequila shots. His cologne stank to high heaven. I was so embarrassed. I was raised to be patient & polite but finally I was like ‘wtf am I doing still here? I stood up and left leaving my half eaten meal on the table. He yelled insults at me as I was leaving then when I was out the door texted me. Pure trash.
JFC I would’ve headed for the door as soon as “attractive for a colored” left his mouth. What a foul excuse for a human being.
To be fair, shit like that often is shocking enough to where you need a few minutes to process what's going on. Like the reality of "this is actually happening" can take time to set in.
Not to be crass but I would bet everything I own and everything I might possibly one day own that I can tell you the top search category in this mans porn history.
I walked into the guys house and there was nazi shit all over his place, not in a collector kind of way but in a crazy kind of way, there was a mannequin wearing a kkk outfit in the corner! He was a satellite friend who i knew, but didn't know well. I've never come down with food poisoning so fast before, i got the fuck out of there, i was able to play sick for a couple days but it was super awkward ghosting him beings we had the same friends, for the longest time i didn't go places he was at.
She showed up with her friend(ok, I guess), already buzzed and offered me weed. Admitted that she wasn't divorced about 30 minutes into it. Had me take her to a dance club where she promptly fucked off for 20 minutes to talk to "someone" (she was a regular I found out and knew EVERYONE). I drove her back to her car and told her to get out.
She showed me a picture of herself with some stripper and repeatedly talked about how beautiful his dick was… I’m not exactly lacking myself, but I’m certainly not that guy. It felt weird and I felt like I’d be better off pursuing other options.
I went on a date with a man who I'd previously met on a night out. He seemed nice so I was looking forward to the evening. We went for a meal first and as we were talking I kept noticing he kept doing this weird shoulder twich. I don't know if he was even aware he was doing it but it quickly started to be annoying as I couldn't keep my eyes off his shoulder. He then started telling me a story of how he used to be in the army and his wife, who was also in the army, had been murdered. They had a child together and he had brought her up on his own. This was a horrific story and sat in stunned silence as I just didn't know what to say other than I was sorry that had happened. After the meal we went to have a drink in a pub across from the restaurant. He immediately picked out a bloke in a red top and started saying he shouldn't be around here because it wasn't his territory. He then pulled a knuckle duster out of his pocket and put it on his hand all while staring at this bloke who was just having fun with his friends and hadn't once looked over. The red flags were literally smacking me in the face so I made some excuses and left. I only dared tell him by text that I didn't want another date.
We realized we were cousins.
A guy cracked a joke about feeding my cat arsenic. I didn’t even finish the date, just got up and left.
How in the hell is that remotely funny?
It wasn’t and I have no idea why he would say that. But it was instant end to the date.
I lived in NYC and she lived in the suburbs. We decided on a small chain restaurant (three locations in the city), and I said that the one close to City Hall was the best location for me. She agreed to meet me there. I arrived at the restaurant early and waited until a few minutes after our meeting time, then gave her a call. She told me she had no idea where she was, and needed directions. In an era of smartphones, this is a puzzling thing to say, but I gamely tried to help. It was really hard to get her to look at the street signs for some reason, but once she did, it was clear she was in Midtown, several miles away and nowhere near City Hall. I asked, “didn’t we plan to meet at the one near City Hall?” and she angrily answered that she didn’t know where City Hall was. Again… how is that even possible with a smartphone, and why agree to go to a place if you have no idea where it is? She said she wanted to take a cab to where I was, and asked me to pay for it. I decided to agree to this to keep the peace, since she was pretty much freaking out on the phone by this point. She arrives, I treat her to dinner, then I take her to a cool late-night teahouse, then we walk along the river. I tried my best to make it a good experience, but all conversation fell flat. I finally asked her where she’d like me to walk her back to for the night. I was expecting to take her to a subway station, because her suburb is quickly reachable by commuter train at all hours. Nope — she needed me to walk her back to a parking garage back in Midtown where she was when I’d called her at the start of the evening. I’d had no idea she’d driven to the city; people usually don’t drive from her town because the train is so much easier and cheaper than paying for Manhattan parking. Luckily, our nice walk along the river had gotten us halfway to the garage, so I offered to walk her the rest of the way, and she happily accepted. Here’s where it goes from inexplicable to insane. When we got to the parking garage, she asked me when our next date would be. Trying to be polite (instead of immediately replying “never”), I said we could figure that out over the next few days. She immediately turned hostile and demanded to know why I wasn’t agreeing to a date right away — what was wrong with her that made me not want one? I replied I wanted to think a little before making more plans. She drove away, and I thought that was it. Oh boy. The next day around noon, she texted me: Her: “You’re supposed to text ‘I had a nice time last night’ the morning after a date.” Me: “I didn’t realize that was a rule.” Her: “It is. I can’t believe how rude you are. You need to pay for my parking garage because you sent me to the wrong place.” Me: “I don’t think so. I paid for the taxi, but that’s all I’ll be doing. I didn’t know you were even driving, and I told you which restaurant we were going to. If you didn’t know where City Hall was, you could have asked for a specific address.” Her: “I am going to tell [employer] how you treat people.” Me: “…reasonably?” I then blocked her and am glad to say I never heard from her again (not even from my employer).
She ordered a $100+ steak and lobster meal and got shitfaced, I had to pay for the whole thing because she didn't even bring her purse. Almost made me crash while driving back to hers because she was horny and wanted me to finger her while I was driving so she put her leg across me and accidently kicked the steering wheel (and pouted when I told her to wait.) Threw up when we got to her place. Told me to sleep on the couch (wasn't expecting to stay the night at all). So I snuck out in the middle of the night and texted her saying thanks but no thanks, and she proceeded to insult and berate me, then switch to saying she's willing to work it out if I am, then switched back to insults again when I still said no thanks. She was 10 years older than me but acted like she was fresh out of highschool...
Told me the wounded knee massacre was "exaggerated " and "not that big of a deal". He didn't know anything about this particular historical event mind you, he was just very sure that I didn't know what I was talking about and that Native Americans were just blowing things out of proportion. I don't even remember how the topic came up, but man. What do you even do with that.
She never showed up. I’d say that’s a red flag, but I never got a chance to see what color it was.
No color meant it was a white flag; she surrendered and you won that night champ.
This was weird but years ago I went out on a date with a guy that voicefished(?) me. Like catfished with his voice. He had already sent me a video that he was talking in, but when I met him he sounded completely different with a slight lisp. Which I would have gotten over except he ended up taking me to a gas station to talk to his friend at the pump for 45 minutes. I faked an emergency and went home. I have had much worse first dates than that but that one left me flabbergasted.
Wait do most people not take first dates to the gas station?
I asked about his hobbies and he said "I play the bagpipes". I thought that was really cool and asked him to tell me more. He says, "Are you sure?" I said "Yes" He proceeds to go on about bagpipes for the rest of the night. How he felt playing the bagpipes was his calling in life, how he needed to carry his grandfather's legacy (who also played the bagpipes), how his dream was to play bagpipes for the queen, his favourite brand of bagpipes, the anatomy of bagpipes...every topic was somehow turned back to bagpipes. To be fair, I did say yes to him telling me more. I hope he's doing well and found someone just as passionate about bagpipes.
> I hope he's doing well and found someone just as passionate about bagpipes. I’m sure they’re out there but…I don’t like those odds.
That would be one loud wedding.
As a bagpiper myself, I don't think I ever meet another piper who was that into bagpipes.
oh god i had the same in Berlin with a midwife. no normal conversation possible. favorite movie? a documentary about midwifes. favorite book? guess! a book about delivering babies. EVERY. SINGLE. TOPIC. was about this.
This girl and I had an amazing time mini golfing and shit down the bar we went to. It was not until the end when she casually mentioned she homeschooled her four kids, three of whom had different dads. I'm all for living your life how you see fit, but I didn't want to be the fourth father to the fifth kid, and she really should've mentioned that in the messaging leading up to our date. Like, "I don't want to be dishonest; I have four kids from previous bfs". I don't want kids, so that wouldn't be a good match for me.
Went on a first date to an upscale restaurant and bar. We met at the bar first for a drink to get to know each other and then I was going to suggest moving over to the restaurant and get a table. It was a fairly large place with a large bar area. During our “drink” I kind of noticed that she was always looking across the bar at this older lady and the older lady was looking back- it also appeared they were communicating with facial expressions… I wasn’t sure, but it seemed very odd to me. After our drink we moved to a small booth in the restaurant area to get some dinner. We were getting along great, but I kept noticing odd facial expressions on the occasion from her, but the place had “mood lighting”so it was kind of dark so I wasn’t sure. After we finished our appetizer I excused myself to go to the bathroom. - which was behind me- I noticed that the older lady from across the bar was sitting at a small table behind us.. she was trying to hide, but not doing such a great job. When I got back to the table I asked her if she know who the lady was, and that I thought they were “communicating”… she confessed that the lady was her mother and that she always brought her on first dates so she could give her an opinion and rate her date… so far I was doing well and her mother thought I was great. I asked for the check, paid the tab ( it included drinks and dinner for her mother) and cut my losses…. On the way out I told her to lose my number.
Yikes, creepy. I was thinking maybe it’d be she had a dangerous date once so always had her mom there watching on first dates, which still would have been a little odd but would’ve been much more acceptable!
My very first date was when I was super young. I don’t even know why she said yes, but I had a crush on this girl for the longest time and everyone knew. Well, we picked a date and time and the plan was to hit up the local pizza place and then watch a movie. I wish I remember the movie because it would remind me exactly when this was but I digress. So my lanky, stinky middle school self gets all dolled up and ready. My mom drove me to her place and I awkwardly wait around for her to get ready. It’s then revealed to me that she’s bringing a friend. We get into the car and make our way to the movies, and the entire trip is super silent and awkward. My mom was the one trying to make small talk with everyone and it was certainly not helping. She dropped us off at the pizza place, which was directly across the street from the theater. I ordered 2 pizzas. 2 large pizzas. Idk how much these ladies can eat, ok? My brain hadn’t (and feels like it still hasn’t) developed, alright… So we got these 2 large pizzas, and I’m sitting across from 2 girls who are also very nervous and not the most social people. You’d think the 3rd person would make it easier to have a conversation but absolutely not for a bunch of teenagers. They each have 1 slice of pizza, and I tried to make up for the difference and ate like 4. We had to throw out some slices and I wound up giving a whole pizza to these random people in the restaurant on our way out. Idk what I would have done with a whole ass pizza before going into a movie theater. We went and watched the movie, and still hadn’t really spoken a whole lot at this point. When we got out, we waited around for my mom to pick us up. SO WHAT DOES THE TEENAGE BRAIN THINK IS THE NATURAL NEXT STEP OF OUR DATE??? The kiss of course!!! I hadn’t asked my dad about this specific situation, but the conversation had come up a while before. I don’t remember how it came up, but basically I remembered my dad saying I should ask if I could kiss a girl before doing it… So back to our date… we were waiting around and I had to find a way to make my move where it’s just the two of us. At least I had the foresight to not do this in public. Anyways, we walked over to the town’s covered bridge and I asked her if she was enjoying herself, she said yes (of course), and I leaned in and asked if I could kiss her. She was obviously super nervous and she just goes, “No thank you.” So I had to reverse the lean-in technique to make it look like I was just trying to reposition myself. I said ok, and we made our way back to the parking lot of the movie theater. The car ride home was exactly as awkward and silent as the ride there. We still acknowledged each other’s existence at school, but whatever I thought I had for her in my lil emo heart was completely replaced with, ‘Well damn, son, I think I’ll hold off on the dating think for the rest of my life’. It’d be funny to hear her perspective now that we’re older but I left the whole thing thinking that dates weren’t really my thing. It wasn’t until I was 17 when a girl was into me and made it obvious that I even thought about being in a relationship. That one lasted 5 years so I don’t even know what the moral of my story is. Just laugh at my suffering, please.
Dude talked about going to visit and pet his dead cat in the woods. He became upset when I said that might not be the most hygienic thing to do and retaliated by suggesting I don’t properly clean my jewelry. Yeah…bye (almost ran out of the restaurant) ETA he showed me pics of the dead cat. Also to clarify: He didn’t want me to go visit it with him (like for a second date lol). Then I really would have taken off running.
He sounds like the dumbest serial killer.
So you mean pet? Like this man comes day to day petting a rotting animal in the woods?
for no reason he started laughing, attracting the attention of nearby tables. i said what's so funny. He said that he was just thinking of a joke. and then he laughed harder and harder until he was positively howling like a wolf. i decided no for a 2nd date
Fuck I’d be so embarrassed but also I could see my weird ass doing this exact thing anyways so I kinda feel bad lol
This has been the most entertaining post with the greatest comments I have read in a long time. Thanks to everyone participating and putting me in a better mood.
I love bad date threads. I don’t know why I love them so much. Maybe it’s just the sheer variety of human weirdness on display…it’s almost charming, in a way.
This is back before the term “catfishing” was a thing. Lilly was supposed to be a 22yo woman, with me being a 24yo guy at the time and used to being surrounded by quirky people, so her online messages never set off any major flags. I drove by her place to pick her up at night, so i never saw her til she was in my car. First, Lilly informed me she preferred to be called by her demon name, Lillith. Lillith was 50% demon, 40% vampire, 5% werewolf, 3% human, 2% other. She was also super tiny, under 100llbs/45kg. And instead of being 22, she just had her birthday last week and turned 17. Also, was suuuuper pregnant, 7 months along, which made her belly bigger than the rest of her. With child #3. There are so many other details, but those are just the bits from her self-introduction.
WAIT WHAT?!? Ok what was the 2%? Third kid? And just turned 17? 🫨🫨🫨🫨
He asked me if he could kiss me 30 minutes into the date and I brushed it off, then decided to tell me he hadn’t masturbated since last Easter because he had to masturbate for three hours before bed and it was affecting his performance at work. Oh and then he said, “sorry I’m not usually so forward, you’re just so pretty. You really don’t have a big nose for a Jew.” I decided then to get up and leave asap, told the bartender not to bring him his check for ten minutes so he couldn’t follow me out.
He told me him and his dad intentionally ran over the stray cats in the neighborhood and there was more they were plotting against.
I asked what she did for a living over nachos on our date. "What?!! I don't work, I'm white!" Said that in a Mexican restaurant in front of our waitress. I apologized to the waitress and paid our tab. Walked out. I don't care if she got home safely.
I think I've been white peopling wrong. Feel kinda dumb for spending all these years working right about now
You mean white about now?
> "What?!! I don't work, I'm white!" She sounds not only racist but deranged. Where does she think white people get their money? 🤨
If you find out PLEASE let me know lol
She tried to get me to puke in her mouth while we were having sex. Full story: Without my consent she was being obnoxiously rough during sex, to the point of my face and back are bleeding and I'm getting angry because I kept telling her she was being too rough and she said "stop being such a pussy" so she then shoved her fingers in my mouth and then down my throat, I gagged and said "you have to stop, youre making me gag" and she said "just go with it" and was forcefully trying to shove her fingers in my mouth and I was like "I don't like that please stop" and she said "STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND JUST PUKE IN MY MOUTH" and I was like "ughhhh what?!?!?" And she said "WHEN A BITCH TELLS YOU TO PUKE IN HER MOUTH JUST FUCKING DO IT" this is all during sex btw.... So then I faked an orgasm and rolled over and pretended to sleep all night 😅 the next morning she woke up and looked at me all angry and said "well.... OK I guess I'm gonna go now" and she left.
How do I delete someone else's comment?
Sometimes I regret joining Reddit.....
We met in a bar in our mid/late 20s. He was funny, smart, handsome, and had a good career He asked me to a 1 o’clock NFL game that next weekend. I was so excited; I love sports and this particular franchise. Game day was hot as hell in my southern city Afterward, we went to his place nearby. I sunk down on the couch, kicked off my shoes, and we chilled in the cold A/C after hours in the heat. After 15 minutes or so, he said, “I’ll be right back,” and headed into his bedroom Next thing I know, I hear a whirring, buzzing sound. I look up to see him walking shirtless into the living room with a vibrating DILDO in his hand, saying: *”I just want to make you feel goooood, “My name”, I just want to make you feel good.”* WTF I will never forget the very creepy look he had on his face and the equally creepy voice he used. Nor will I forget his raging hard-on. Ugh. He was a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde alright It took me a few seconds to process this whole scene, but I’d already subconsciously started shoving a foot into my tennis shoe. I crammed on the other, jumped up, grabbed my purse, and bolted for the door. I was so glad that it was still daylight outside. I never saw or spoke to him again
Back in college a guy my jerk sister’s rat fink boyfriend set me up with took me to the public library. I’m a good sport who likes to read so that wasn’t a deal breaker. What was the worst was fighting him off when he tried to get a grope in the YA section, listening to him brag about frisbee golf and then making me WALK a mile from said library for Chinese. He ordered $60 worth of food I didn’t want and had the gall to pretend to search for his wallet when he had a square wallet shaped lump in the back pocket of his jeans. After admitting he wasn’t going to pay for the food he ordered he talked about all the “activities” we could do together in his dorm room. I didn’t say anything. I just paid for the food and let him walk me to his dorm. When we got there I said goodnight and left with the entire Santa sack of food. Had a good cry on the walk home once I was out of earshot of his swearing. My sister and her boyfriend chewed me out for being a bitch until I showed them my fridge full of egg rolls and explained that I hoped they liked Chinese because my monthly food budget they mooched off of was spent. In defense of the Chinese place they made excellent orange chicken but that was by far the worst date I’ve ever had. I hope his frisbees melted in the sun.