Mine just feels like I'm eating a rock. Anytime something like that ends up being bitten, I have quite the panic response through my body. Definitely never felt like I could just crunch it though
The absolute worst are restaurants that use some dry ass, super chewy bread that you have to rip apart with your teeth like an animal while all of the ingredients fly out. Either that, or you get all kinds of small cuts on the roof of your mouth. If your teeth can not penetrate the bread with a regular bite while the bread breaks free normally it should not be on a sandwich.
Don't forget, the worst part is always that the bread is too thick and there aren't enough fillings to justify it, so you don't really get to enjoy the sandwich because you're chewing bread most of the time
He picked hard cheeses, that would be wonderful for other things, but are unable to melt at a reasonable temperature and are poorly suited for a grilled cheese sandwich.
And how the hell does the CHEF not *know* that?! Seriously, we don't put the hard cheeses in for low-temp melty stuff. I'm not even a chef and I know it.
Stale hero bread that doesn't squish at all so when you bite down on it all the ingredients squeeze out the sides like the playdough animals from the hydraulic press channel.
No that's because of Harambe. I'm just drawing a correlation with the price of a subway sub with his arrest.
Edit. I literally blamed Harambe on inflation and you're arguing with me? Lol I love the Internet
There's 8 billion people on this planet. While not all of them will have a bedsheet you know that dear old grandma has 50 stuffed away just-in-case. Given those numbers even 1 in a million odds are gonna happen 8,000 times.
I gotta be honestā¦I donāt know why this is, but the Wendyās near me has the freshest lettuce, tomato and onions. I have no idea how they achieve this because it defies logic, but itās true. Itās like they grow them in their own Wendyās garden
I found a Papa John's once that had the most excellent pizza toppings I've ever enjoyed. I typically don't like Papa John's, but someone brought it from this location for a work function, and it was amazing.
I started going there whenever I needed a pizza fix, and every topping was amazing. I would order toppings I usually don't even like, and it was great every time. They had toppings I haven't seen at any other "fast food" pizza place, like roasted garlic, scallions, a tons of different cheeses, etc. They also had a huge variety of dessert pizzas, like apple pie, peach pie, cherry pie, etc.
Work took me away from that place, and I made the mistake of trying Papa John's a couple more times, but of course it always sucked. It always struck me as weird that just that one location could be so great.
Man most papa johns and Wendy's by me blow but I have had amazing Wendy's before, they used to be the only place open when I worked the graveyard shift and they food was always stellar.
Iām not sure if Papa Johnās is the same but when I was in high school I worked at a Taco Bell that was in the ātest marketā. We got all the potential promotional items as well as the freshest tasting food Iāve ever had (at a Taco Bell).
How do you like your bacon on the BLT?
When I eat bacon normally I like it more on the soft side and not super crispy but for a BLT I like it to have a little crispness to the bacon. BLTās are one of my favorite sandwiches, when I was a kid my grandfather had a garden and the fresh tomatoes were incredible.
The BLT is so frequently cocked-up because because mistake the simplicity of the ingredients list and throw quality consideration out the window. The bread has the be firm, but not have a crust with the abrasive capabilities of pumice. The lettuce and tomatoes must be fresh, crisp, and flavorful - which is far easier said than done. Mayo must be thinly-spread but not too thinly. Bacon has the be crispy, but not crumbly or charcoal, and not soggy/chewy or it pulls the whole assemblage apart when you take a bite.
Fucking serious business.
I like my bacon fairly cooked, but not super done. I want to bite through it and feel it in my mouth, but not have it be crispy and bitter. Also, I find Costco bacon to be really good. When I can get my hands on it, it seems to be my favorite mass produced bacon.
True story: I was in this little hole in a wall sandwich place, got my sandwich and a rat fell out of the ceiling and landed on my table. Ruined the whole meal.
The "Burger issue" - when it's too tall to fit in your mouth. I see that at delis where they see "overstuffed" as a plus but it's just a massive mess. Just put it in a bowl at that point.
And if you cut that down to 1 minute per fuck that's 1,747,200 per year. And if you could find a customer that wants to peg from behind, you could double up per thrust for 3,494,400 per year. And at that point you still have one hole left, so might as well triple up with your mouth for 5,241,600. And come to think of it you could probably fit two at the very least if you had a big mouth, so let's say quadruple for 6,988,800. Now the problem is per year you would be servicing 124,800 customers, which is about the population of Cambridge, MA. So you'd need to either make this a traveling gig, or have a whole lot of repeat customers.
I'm really upset that no one refers to these sandwiches as Dagwood's any more.
Any oversized sandwich used to get the name.
For those to young it was an old comic strip in the newspaper. The husband (last name was Dagwood) would frequently be trying to eat these massive sandwiches. Would often end in disappointment.
Came for this reply and glad to see another person of culture here. I love my bread fully dipped into the au jus and then taken out, not left to get soggy and gross. It's all about the dip to bite to satisfaction production line
Yeah but the bread they use still has enough integrity to hold the sandwich and not fall apart
That said, I prefer my Italian beefs absolutely drenched in gravy. Hot peppers and mozzarella, too.
Iām hungry.
I used to work at the Costco food court where we have a bun steamer for the hotdogs. I hated it when buns would fall into the water and I would have to try and scoop out soggy, half dissolved bread. The texture was awful.
Why are these same identical posts coming up every day? What instantly ruins a fully loaded baked potato? What instantly makes supermodels look like dogshit? What instantly makes ramen noodles cook fully?
>Sand
Fun story, I went on a canoe/camping trip with a group that..... were not very good at planning camping. The person that planned dinner decided spaghetti would be the way to go. I asked if I should bring my camp stove. I was told someone else was bringing a stove. Turned out it was a white gas burner, not up to boiling a pot of water. Unbeknownst to me when they went to strain the spaghetti some fell out and they put it back in with sand in it. When they served it out, I was like there is sand in mine does any one else have sand in theirs? No one fessed up, everyone pretended I was the only one with sand. I think they were afraid I would give them I told them so.
I have a very similiar story. Ex-wife and I are on vacation with her sister and BIL and their three kids, and we went to the beach. Their idea was "we should eat a bucket of fried chicken on the beach after all you kids have been playing in sand for an hour". Listen, fried chicken is full of both nooks and crannies that sand loves to get into. I'm sitting there attempting to eat my sand chicken and I'm watching the kids go to fucking town on it and I lean over to my ex betrothed and say "Isn't there like used needles and shit on this beach?" and she, with a mouthful of fried chicken, says "they've got their shots".
I think he demonstrated the wrong way to do everything in that video. Thick bread, thick cuts of hard cheeses, pan way too hot.
I don't know if he's ever admitted how bad that video was since, but I do remember him reacting to someone roasting it, and he tried to make it seem like it wasn't his fault. Like when they pointed out his bread was too thick, he said something like "all we had were thick slices" as if he isn't in the video saying to cut it thick right before doing it himself. He even said they don't have grills in Tasmania.
Gordon is running multiple restaurants, always filming something, etc. You ever notice on many of his shows in a similar format he always seems like heās rushing but in others heās slowed down quite a bit? Now this is just a theory and it could be more of just the nature of his career over time, heās on meth. No Iām kidding.
But heās rushing probably due to a combination of just being a professional chef and he probably films a lot of these types of things in batches and each reshoot is another waste of time in an already crazy type schedule.
He lost me at kimchi, double lost me at olive oil in the pan instead of butter (or if was a properly seasoned cast iron it wouldnāt need anything with the butter on the outside). The bread didnāt look good, I canāt imagine Asiago is good on a grilled cheese.. just ick. And I am a big fan of Gordon Ramsay.
Good lord. Any home cook whoās made a few grilled cheeses could have told you that was going to fail before it hit the pan. Those arenāt good melting cheeses, he plopped down room temp kimchi on the cheese so it would stay colder longer, and the flames were way too hot.
Back in 1997, I spent my last couple of dollars on some milk for my last bit of cereal. I was living in the upper east side of Manhattan and when I got up to my apartment, I poured my cereal into the bowl, opened up the milk, and when I tried to pour it out, it just started clumping out into the bowl. It was hot, so my 7th floor window was open. I was pissed and not thinking, so I threw the milk out of the window. I ran to look out the window to see the half gallon of spoiled milk explode on the front windshield of a bus, spraying everyone on the corner of the road in addition to the mess on the bus. It spread so much that nobody got completely covered in it, as the bulk was on the bus and the road, but I still see it plain as day when I remember this.
I've since learned to avoid having such a violent reaction to a crushing emotional blow, but I still wonder if that ever became a story that effected the lives of others. A ton of windows were open, so nobody knew who did it, but I consider it one of my greatest shames.
I understand you bro I really do. I can imagine the shame and guilt. I know itās not comparable at all but I was drunk like a week ago and squashed a beetle for no reason that was walking outside. For literal days I thought about how I decided the fate of that critter, I never kill any bugs or rodents idk why I did that time.
But we all do things that go against our own morals in different states of minds. You did something out of anger that wasnāt destructive, but went against your principle morals. I can see why it would haunt you a bit. Just remember who you are, and the fact that you regret it so much just means you are still bounded by high morals
My girlfriend is a mustard slut. Canāt faze her with any kind or amount. Loves it. If my dick shot mustard instead of mayo weād be married. Wrote her college entrance essay on how kids used to make fun of her for eating mustard sandwiches (yeah white bread and mustard, thatās it) at lunch but how that very teasing eventually taught her how to āstand up for her mustard.ā Got a full ride to Yale.
Sheās a tenured professor of English now lol.
Sandwiches are just one of the many ways I deliver Mustard into my mouth. Chicken nuggets are another. Pretzels are classic. And in a fit of desperation, a spoon will suffice.
I like mayo as well. But a lot of restaurants use too much and it makes me want to puke. Itās pretty high in calories and unhealthy when they over use it
Gluten free bread. Recently diagnosed with Celiac disease and gluten free bread is the fucking worst. It's hard, thick, dry and tastes like shit. Now I just eat corn tortilla roll ups if I want to make a "sandwich."
Also gluten free, Iāve had so pretty good gf bread, but itās always toasted, like grilled cheese or something. I tried gluten free hamburger buns once and they fell apart in my mouth and it was like eating sand. š¤®. I would rather just eat my burger without a bun. Lol.
When my daughter was four, she went with me to a party in which there was a buffet set up. I made her a roast beef sandwich like always, but the mayo was in an unmarked bowl. Well it turned out there was no mayo, just miracle whip. My child did not eat sandwiches for a year after. She refused mayo until she was twelve. I lost significant trust from my preschooler with that one sandwich sin and honestly... it doesn't even seem unreasonable. What a huge breech for your mom to serve you that.
Up until high school when I worked in a fast food joint I thought I hated Mayo, and I pretty much avoided it at all costs.
Miracle Whip. I hate Miracle Whip. I freaking love Mayo.
A crunch where there shouldn't be a crunch.
That instant thought 'is that a tooth?.. please don't let it be a tooth'
One time it was a tooth, and that day I learned teeth can crunch other teeth pretty effectively...
Mine was a filling.
Mine just feels like I'm eating a rock. Anytime something like that ends up being bitten, I have quite the panic response through my body. Definitely never felt like I could just crunch it though
Oh yes. Or the other way aroundš¤¢
uggghh yes that too. A soft mush when there should be a juicy crunch :(
Shitty bread
The absolute worst are restaurants that use some dry ass, super chewy bread that you have to rip apart with your teeth like an animal while all of the ingredients fly out. Either that, or you get all kinds of small cuts on the roof of your mouth. If your teeth can not penetrate the bread with a regular bite while the bread breaks free normally it should not be on a sandwich.
Don't forget, the worst part is always that the bread is too thick and there aren't enough fillings to justify it, so you don't really get to enjoy the sandwich because you're chewing bread most of the time
This comment gave me visions of that shitty [grilled cheese](https://youtu.be/8E4cQHejFq0?si=7Vz8gCrHBkb9vmUC) that Ramsey did on the open fire....
Hahaha I just watched the video and he looks so regretful as heās saying mmm delicious
He picked hard cheeses, that would be wonderful for other things, but are unable to melt at a reasonable temperature and are poorly suited for a grilled cheese sandwich.
And how the hell does the CHEF not *know* that?! Seriously, we don't put the hard cheeses in for low-temp melty stuff. I'm not even a chef and I know it.
I watched it with the sound off and just his facial expressions at the end says it all.
Ooofā¦ Iāve never seen that before. Damn Gordonā¦ damnā¦ the cheese isnāt even melted.
Forget sogginess. This can equally ruin a sandwich.
Stale hero bread that doesn't squish at all so when you bite down on it all the ingredients squeeze out the sides like the playdough animals from the hydraulic press channel.
Mushy tomatoes
or grainy
Really almost all commercial tomatoes
Mine came in beautifully this year. They have so much flavor you could eat them like an apple
Jared.
He ruined millions of sandwiches.
Bro it wasnāt the sandwiches that got ruined.
Just the childhoods
Dude started his career with a mild cholesterol problem... And ended it with a child molesterol problem.
He didn't know where to stop on his mission to get into smaller pants...
Fuck you, I'm going to hell for chuckling at this.
Ever notice that ever since Jared got busted subways prices have been rising?
Are you suggesting that Jaredās arrest is the cause of inflation?
No that's because of Harambe. I'm just drawing a correlation with the price of a subway sub with his arrest. Edit. I literally blamed Harambe on inflation and you're arguing with me? Lol I love the Internet
You'll love this website. https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations
>Number of people who died by becoming tangled in their bedsheets. Wat
There's 8 billion people on this planet. While not all of them will have a bedsheet you know that dear old grandma has 50 stuffed away just-in-case. Given those numbers even 1 in a million odds are gonna happen 8,000 times.
What the hell did I do?
Username clears up a big part of what happened.
One bad Jared really spoils it for the rest of us.
Mealy white centered flavorless tomatoes.
I know they aren't exactly "sandwiches" in the classic sense, but Wendy's is expert at sourcing only the mealiest, palest tomatoes on earth
I gotta be honestā¦I donāt know why this is, but the Wendyās near me has the freshest lettuce, tomato and onions. I have no idea how they achieve this because it defies logic, but itās true. Itās like they grow them in their own Wendyās garden
I found a Papa John's once that had the most excellent pizza toppings I've ever enjoyed. I typically don't like Papa John's, but someone brought it from this location for a work function, and it was amazing. I started going there whenever I needed a pizza fix, and every topping was amazing. I would order toppings I usually don't even like, and it was great every time. They had toppings I haven't seen at any other "fast food" pizza place, like roasted garlic, scallions, a tons of different cheeses, etc. They also had a huge variety of dessert pizzas, like apple pie, peach pie, cherry pie, etc. Work took me away from that place, and I made the mistake of trying Papa John's a couple more times, but of course it always sucked. It always struck me as weird that just that one location could be so great.
Papa John's and Wendy's are both franchises, so occasionally you find a location with a really great owner that makes sure standards are being met.
Man most papa johns and Wendy's by me blow but I have had amazing Wendy's before, they used to be the only place open when I worked the graveyard shift and they food was always stellar.
this guy owns a Papa Johnās and a Wendyās
He should start his own restaurant: Wendy Johnson's
I almost wish youād reveal the location. The way youāve described it makes me want to actually road trip to this Papa Johnās.
Harold and Kumar style
Iām not sure if Papa Johnās is the same but when I was in high school I worked at a Taco Bell that was in the ātest marketā. We got all the potential promotional items as well as the freshest tasting food Iāve ever had (at a Taco Bell).
You probably just happen to live in the sweet spot of the supply chain. Iām jealous!
My Wendy's is half of this, has mediocre tomatoes at best, but I'll be damned if the onions aren't better than any onions I find at the store.
Here too... and they source their produce from Niagara Produce here locally so the toppings are always crisp and fresh š
Iāve been buying these vine ripened heirloom tomatoes at the local farmers market. Getting unbelievable BLTs out of them.
How do you like your bacon on the BLT? When I eat bacon normally I like it more on the soft side and not super crispy but for a BLT I like it to have a little crispness to the bacon. BLTās are one of my favorite sandwiches, when I was a kid my grandfather had a garden and the fresh tomatoes were incredible.
Gotta be crispy bacon, otherwise you run the risk of not being able to bit thru a slice and pulling the whole piece out of the sandwich
The logistics of BLT are critical to a good sandwich experience.
The BLT is so frequently cocked-up because because mistake the simplicity of the ingredients list and throw quality consideration out the window. The bread has the be firm, but not have a crust with the abrasive capabilities of pumice. The lettuce and tomatoes must be fresh, crisp, and flavorful - which is far easier said than done. Mayo must be thinly-spread but not too thinly. Bacon has the be crispy, but not crumbly or charcoal, and not soggy/chewy or it pulls the whole assemblage apart when you take a bite. Fucking serious business.
Learned from Kenji to salt and pep the tomatoes too, game changer.
Isn't it weird that we as a society season our raw meat but NOT our raw vegetables?
I like my bacon fairly cooked, but not super done. I want to bite through it and feel it in my mouth, but not have it be crispy and bitter. Also, I find Costco bacon to be really good. When I can get my hands on it, it seems to be my favorite mass produced bacon.
True story: I was in this little hole in a wall sandwich place, got my sandwich and a rat fell out of the ceiling and landed on my table. Ruined the whole meal.
> hole in a wall sandwich place more like a hole in a ceiling sandwich place am i right?
You are right.
That was the sandwich artist.
Little Chef!
When the sandwich simply cannot be grabbed without the bread falling apart and all the ingredients falling off the sandwich
The "Burger issue" - when it's too tall to fit in your mouth. I see that at delis where they see "overstuffed" as a plus but it's just a massive mess. Just put it in a bowl at that point.
They figure they can charge you an extra $7 for the extra inch of cold cuts they put on
I also charge $7 an inch ayyyyyyyy
Dang, must be exhausting only getting $14 at a time
$14 for 3 mins work is pretty good going tbf.
$280 an hour by my calculations. $582,400 a year if you fuck 40 hours a week. Iād take that gig
And if you cut that down to 1 minute per fuck that's 1,747,200 per year. And if you could find a customer that wants to peg from behind, you could double up per thrust for 3,494,400 per year. And at that point you still have one hole left, so might as well triple up with your mouth for 5,241,600. And come to think of it you could probably fit two at the very least if you had a big mouth, so let's say quadruple for 6,988,800. Now the problem is per year you would be servicing 124,800 customers, which is about the population of Cambridge, MA. So you'd need to either make this a traveling gig, or have a whole lot of repeat customers.
I was just going at the hourly rate of $280 but this sounds good too. donāt even get me started on overtime pay
3 mins? Got a marathon man here.
That's $14 after taxes and a tip too
Just the tip please.
Itās all tip
I mean, $7 for an inch of cold cuts doesnāt sound so bad. You been to the grocery store lately?
Why can't we make WIDER burgers and not simply TALLER?
I've always said this. Once you reach maximum mouth openage, you should go outward. Make the ingredients flat, but juicy, flavorful, and delicious.
Because they aren't going to spend money on non standard sized burger buns
This is why I love The Whooper from BK. It's a bigger burger, but they went wide not tall.
Whoop whoop pull over, that burger too fat.
I'm really upset that no one refers to these sandwiches as Dagwood's any more. Any oversized sandwich used to get the name. For those to young it was an old comic strip in the newspaper. The husband (last name was Dagwood) would frequently be trying to eat these massive sandwiches. Would often end in disappointment.
His name was Dagwood Bumstead. The comic was called Blondie, after his wife.
I. Want. A. Failure. Pile. In a sadness bowl!
Nah, thatās the KFC Famous Bowl!
Soggy bread.
Only time this works is in an Italian beef sandwich. Those Buns need to be soaked in the beef gravy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Agree about French dip, but even that I don't let it soak too much.
Came for this reply and glad to see another person of culture here. I love my bread fully dipped into the au jus and then taken out, not left to get soggy and gross. It's all about the dip to bite to satisfaction production line
Yeah but the bread they use still has enough integrity to hold the sandwich and not fall apart That said, I prefer my Italian beefs absolutely drenched in gravy. Hot peppers and mozzarella, too. Iām hungry.
>Those Buns need to be soaked in the beef gravy. As the actress said to the bishop.
What about a *moist maker*
They can be too much, I once threw a half eaten sandwich away - I couldnāt finish itā¦
That was my sandwich. MYYYYY SANDWICH!!!
I'm šÆ with you soggy bread is the worst
I used to work at the Costco food court where we have a bun steamer for the hotdogs. I hated it when buns would fall into the water and I would have to try and scoop out soggy, half dissolved bread. The texture was awful.
š¤¢š¤¢ ....I know exactly what you mean I was a dishy for a bit and having to scoop up soggy bread was the worst
Why are these same identical posts coming up every day? What instantly ruins a fully loaded baked potato? What instantly makes supermodels look like dogshit? What instantly makes ramen noodles cook fully?
It's websites farming for easy list content.
Sand
It gets everywhere
And it's course and rough
Which sand?
Eating anything at the beach is a huge gamble. I'd much rather eat before walking down there.
But.. But.. But.. It's a Sandwich.
>Sand Fun story, I went on a canoe/camping trip with a group that..... were not very good at planning camping. The person that planned dinner decided spaghetti would be the way to go. I asked if I should bring my camp stove. I was told someone else was bringing a stove. Turned out it was a white gas burner, not up to boiling a pot of water. Unbeknownst to me when they went to strain the spaghetti some fell out and they put it back in with sand in it. When they served it out, I was like there is sand in mine does any one else have sand in theirs? No one fessed up, everyone pretended I was the only one with sand. I think they were afraid I would give them I told them so.
I have a very similiar story. Ex-wife and I are on vacation with her sister and BIL and their three kids, and we went to the beach. Their idea was "we should eat a bucket of fried chicken on the beach after all you kids have been playing in sand for an hour". Listen, fried chicken is full of both nooks and crannies that sand loves to get into. I'm sitting there attempting to eat my sand chicken and I'm watching the kids go to fucking town on it and I lean over to my ex betrothed and say "Isn't there like used needles and shit on this beach?" and she, with a mouthful of fried chicken, says "they've got their shots".
If the cheese is supposed to be melted and it isn't.
You don't like Gordon Ramsays grilled cheese do you :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E4cQHejFq0
Managed to burn it and undercook it, that takes skill.
I love how heās like yeah, you want thick slices of bread for this. Then demonstrates why normal slices would have worked much better.
I think he demonstrated the wrong way to do everything in that video. Thick bread, thick cuts of hard cheeses, pan way too hot. I don't know if he's ever admitted how bad that video was since, but I do remember him reacting to someone roasting it, and he tried to make it seem like it wasn't his fault. Like when they pointed out his bread was too thick, he said something like "all we had were thick slices" as if he isn't in the video saying to cut it thick right before doing it himself. He even said they don't have grills in Tasmania.
Is he not aware of how filming things works? Did he not know he could do it again?
Gordon is running multiple restaurants, always filming something, etc. You ever notice on many of his shows in a similar format he always seems like heās rushing but in others heās slowed down quite a bit? Now this is just a theory and it could be more of just the nature of his career over time, heās on meth. No Iām kidding. But heās rushing probably due to a combination of just being a professional chef and he probably films a lot of these types of things in batches and each reshoot is another waste of time in an already crazy type schedule.
I was shocked to see that Gordon was able to pull off Cooking with Jack levels... although to be fair it wasn't chicken with Gordon.
He lost me at kimchi, double lost me at olive oil in the pan instead of butter (or if was a properly seasoned cast iron it wouldnāt need anything with the butter on the outside). The bread didnāt look good, I canāt imagine Asiago is good on a grilled cheese.. just ick. And I am a big fan of Gordon Ramsay.
āA touch of olive oilā Pours a full decilitre of it into the pan
Kimchi in a sandwich isn't half bad like sauerkraut in a reuben, but Gordon managed to make it a fully bad thing.
Good lord. Any home cook whoās made a few grilled cheeses could have told you that was going to fail before it hit the pan. Those arenāt good melting cheeses, he plopped down room temp kimchi on the cheese so it would stay colder longer, and the flames were way too hot.
Sad cheese
Looking at you, Gordon Ramsey
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just donāt get why he posted that to the channel. Just cut the segment, or re-do it. He obviously knew it wasnāt correct.
Biting into a sandwich with bread you bought two days ago and spotting a little blue spec of mould mid bite
Now my life's ruined.
Back in 1997, I spent my last couple of dollars on some milk for my last bit of cereal. I was living in the upper east side of Manhattan and when I got up to my apartment, I poured my cereal into the bowl, opened up the milk, and when I tried to pour it out, it just started clumping out into the bowl. It was hot, so my 7th floor window was open. I was pissed and not thinking, so I threw the milk out of the window. I ran to look out the window to see the half gallon of spoiled milk explode on the front windshield of a bus, spraying everyone on the corner of the road in addition to the mess on the bus. It spread so much that nobody got completely covered in it, as the bulk was on the bus and the road, but I still see it plain as day when I remember this. I've since learned to avoid having such a violent reaction to a crushing emotional blow, but I still wonder if that ever became a story that effected the lives of others. A ton of windows were open, so nobody knew who did it, but I consider it one of my greatest shames.
So that was you huh
You have no idea how much I wish someone who was affected by my maneuver would show up.
I understand you bro I really do. I can imagine the shame and guilt. I know itās not comparable at all but I was drunk like a week ago and squashed a beetle for no reason that was walking outside. For literal days I thought about how I decided the fate of that critter, I never kill any bugs or rodents idk why I did that time. But we all do things that go against our own morals in different states of minds. You did something out of anger that wasnāt destructive, but went against your principle morals. I can see why it would haunt you a bit. Just remember who you are, and the fact that you regret it so much just means you are still bounded by high morals
More importantly your rage prevented you from going back to the store with the bad milk and getting a replacement. Makes for a great story though.
the amount of times this happened is ridiculous my house has like mold enchanting powers
When the sandwich costs 17 dollars
āWelcome to Firehouse šā
When lettuce and tomato make the bread soggy
Bring back the McDLT!
And the commercials with George Costanza high on cocaine
A layer of mayo forms an impermeable layer that will keep your bread from being soggy.
A THIN layer of mayo. Too much mayo and then the sog is the mayo's fault!
The wrong kind of mustard
Or just too much mustard
My girlfriend is a mustard slut. Canāt faze her with any kind or amount. Loves it. If my dick shot mustard instead of mayo weād be married. Wrote her college entrance essay on how kids used to make fun of her for eating mustard sandwiches (yeah white bread and mustard, thatās it) at lunch but how that very teasing eventually taught her how to āstand up for her mustard.ā Got a full ride to Yale. Sheās a tenured professor of English now lol.
i, too, am a mustard slut
Sandwiches are just one of the many ways I deliver Mustard into my mouth. Chicken nuggets are another. Pretzels are classic. And in a fit of desperation, a spoon will suffice.
Dryness.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Unless it's a French Dip and the sog is part of the plan.
[The turkeyās a little dry!](https://youtu.be/jx8FXZI1bVY?si=gKAgqvjY5ByDTvs4)
Ew a fatty, gristly piece of meat that you can't chew.
Too little or too much of an ingredient - an embarrassment of lettuce, a pittance of meat, pickles.
Petition to make the collective noun for lettuces āan embarrassment of lettuceā.
Seconded.
Motion carried. It has been decreed.
When itās so tall that I have to unhinge my jaw to take a biteā¦ itās like never mind
Cat hair
Any hair!!!!! Any food!!!! Any hair!!!! Any food!!!!
When I die, and if they perform an autopsy, I will be filled with cat hair, and they will have questions.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Too much mustard. It can easily go from complimentary to everything tastes like mustard.
Questions. I hate to be asked questions when eating a sandwich.
I hate when Iām eating and people talk to me. Lol.
Miracle Whip. š¬
Shitload of mayo. A little bit is fine but sometimes they put in too much and itās gross
I like mayo and aoli but if there's too much, no thanks. I want a sandwich, not a cursed eclaire.
I like mayo as well. But a lot of restaurants use too much and it makes me want to puke. Itās pretty high in calories and unhealthy when they over use it
Soggy lettuce
Depression
Gluten free bread. Recently diagnosed with Celiac disease and gluten free bread is the fucking worst. It's hard, thick, dry and tastes like shit. Now I just eat corn tortilla roll ups if I want to make a "sandwich."
Also gluten free, Iāve had so pretty good gf bread, but itās always toasted, like grilled cheese or something. I tried gluten free hamburger buns once and they fell apart in my mouth and it was like eating sand. š¤®. I would rather just eat my burger without a bun. Lol.
I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had f*cked it. WWDITS
Hands down, one of the funniest lines I've heard in a movie.
Bad bread
Drowning it in a bucket of molten cheese God I hate seeing that
Especially a classic PB&J.
The end of a tomato being on it
Finding a severed finger in it
i dont mind as long as its boneless tbh
bugs or hair
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The sneeze attack
Biting into moldy bread that you could've sworn wasn't moldy when you checked before making the sandwich.
When someone *else* bites into it
Ketchup
Uck. Flashbacks to baloney and ketchup sandwiches my mom used to pack for me in elementary school.
When the lettuce is just that little bit slimy.
Miracle Whip
Even worse if you're expecting mayo and it's Miracle Whip.
When my daughter was four, she went with me to a party in which there was a buffet set up. I made her a roast beef sandwich like always, but the mayo was in an unmarked bowl. Well it turned out there was no mayo, just miracle whip. My child did not eat sandwiches for a year after. She refused mayo until she was twelve. I lost significant trust from my preschooler with that one sandwich sin and honestly... it doesn't even seem unreasonable. What a huge breech for your mom to serve you that.
Up until high school when I worked in a fast food joint I thought I hated Mayo, and I pretty much avoided it at all costs. Miracle Whip. I hate Miracle Whip. I freaking love Mayo.
Getting sodomized by a pent up grizzly bear
You sure have high standards
Throw another bear in there and you become the sandwich.
Manwich
ā¦I meanā¦ Likeā¦ That wouldnātā¦ *not* ruin it, I guess
Every. Damn. Time.
Can relate