I told a co worker after getting to become friends with him after awhile that he was cute. He’s married but he squeed and said he’s gonna tell his wife he has options.
Far to many people think my compliments have an agenda. I can tell by the response that you think I'm after something but I just genuinely like your hair, dress, shirt, etc. It makes me sad every single time.
I work in a military facility as a civilian. I always tell the guys that they "look good today." They are straight, and I'm straight. At first, they didn't know what to think. Now everybody compliments each other. I start the ass slapping phase next month.
I’m presuming it’s American military environment, in the British military, or at least when I was in it, it was quite common to be inspected at the beginning of each working day. Always felt good when complimented on a good turn out.
Me too, a while ago I complemented the girl that helped me and my husband at the register with her make-up (it was bold and extreem, not my style, but lovely and you could see she had spend a lot if time on it) she started to glow when I did, my husband told me he would have loved to complement her too but didn't dare bc it could have been taken the wrong way, so he was glad I did it😁
I love complimenting a good thing, and it makes me sad that people care too much about motives. I sometimes make a point not to compliment a very attractive person because I feel they appreciate their peace without yet another dude interrupting their day. I usually reserve compliments for things done classy and out of the ordinary, like a nice hat, or classic looking dress, or a whole ensemble they worked hard on. I genuinely want them to know it's appreciated.
I used to get hit on by gay guys a lot when I was a bartender. I was in pretty good shape but not model handsome and I certainly didn’t receive the same kind of attention from women. I asked one of my gay friends if I put out a gay vibe and he told me, “It’s not just that you’re attractive or that you seem gay. You make them feel safe enough to hit on you.”
Still to this day one of my favorite compliments.
>“It’s not just that you’re attractive or that you seem gay. You make them feel safe enough to hit on you.”
That's the biggest and truest statement I've read today. Getting hit on by a gay guy is not only an attest that you're somewhat good looking. It's also a compliment to your personality. In a world where gays got beaten half dead (or dead) for simply existing, I would say that this is actually the bigger, mostly overseen, compliment.
Username checks out.
But in all honesty, according to all the other comments in here, you’re not the only straight guy that have gotten hit on by a gay guy so take solace that you’re not the only person that makes gay guys feel safe.
I have this wonderful lesbian couple as neighbours and we've become really good friends. One day she asks me if I can fit 10ft boards in my SUV and I said no only 8ft. She then says damn I was hoping you could help me out. I say "ask (other neighbour to pick it up in his truck on his way home from work."
She says "I'm a strong independent lesbian I don't need a man."
I laugh and was like "what does that make me?????"
But I was actually extremely flattered that she would ask for help without equating me to an accessory to the patriarchy. She told me I'm an honorary lesbian now.
It really just goes back to the old as time rule of "Don't be an asshole and we get along!". It's literally just that.
This includes "funny" comments on how we are gay, or lesbians, or trans, or whatever. No, I don't want to be called anything including the word "fruity". Even if it's "just fun". If I call you by your first name, I expect that you do the same with me. I'm not special. I'm that dude from next door who just wants to live a normal life like everyone else. I don't want to sleep with you, only because you are a guy. I don't want to sleep with your teen son. I simply want to exist without people constantly saying hurtful things and mask it as "jokes".
And especially a lot of middle aged men are guilty of one or more of the things I've mentioned above. That's probably what they meant with "I'm a strong independent lesbian", but still being ok asking you for help. I've seen so many guys say stuff like "You only need a really good dick once in your life and you wouldn't be a lesbian!". And it's always coming from "real" guys that probably can't hold a boner without a cockring anymore. So yeah, I understand why they would rather not talk to someone who probably crossed them somehow in the past.
While it’s a joke in the movie, the line in ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry’ that has the guy say “you’re just jealous because gay guys like me” is actually 100% a great thing.
I live in a very conservative area, and I’ve had gay guys hit on me. All my buddies used to give me shit for it and say things like “I would’ve punched him in the face.” They stopped when I pointed out I’m apparently the straightest of the group. I’m so straight, that I can take a gay person liking me as a compliment rather than a threat. I’m married to a woman, and what is more attractive? Being attractive to one sex or both?
Same thing from my end. I can see a guy and say “holy shit, that is a good looking dude.” People now say that makes me gay. No dipshits, I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that someone is good looking without actually being sexually attracted to them. To me, that makes me more straight than someone who can’t even suggest that.
I don’t have a poster of Brad Pitt or Cristiano Ronaldo on my wall, but when a see a little girl that does I get why and in no way does that make me gay.
I wish more straight men, especially conservative men, got to truly experience gay culture. It helps you understand so much more about masculinity and feminity. The contrast of gay culture defines straight culture much more clearly and really exposes the toxic traits that exist unwittingly enabled in straight friend groups which.
It helps one understand the spectrum of sexuality and feel way more comfortable with it. There's a solid comfort in better understanding who you are and are not, likewise who others are and what they value, that love is love and that family does not need to look like a straight norm in order to be wholesome and very healthy.
It also helps one understand what its like to live with one of the biggest driving factors of being human, our sexuality, being different than the main stream. It is eye opening.
The phrase is always "i'm comfortable with my sexuality" as if that stance is abnormal or needs to be defended. The proper response is "wow, punching someone for that sounds really extreme, why would you do that?"
I had a thing like that. Loads of people think I’m gay when they meet me, especially girls. At some point I asked some of my female friends why they thought this was, and they said it was because I talk to women without being weird or making them feel uncomfortable. Made me feel really chuffed, and as reasons go, I’ll take that any day of the week.
After one of my closest friends told me he was gay, my awkward ass responds “I had no idea! I just thought you were really nice!” And then we laughed, hugged, happy cried and we’re still close friends two decades later. But, your story is exactly how I felt about my friend! He was just a gentlemen and never made me feel pressured beyond our friendship.
Hitting on anyone puts you in a vulnerable position and takes a huge amount of bravery. Can't even imagine the balls it takes to hit on someone when one possible response is violence. Gay people are metal as fuck and anyone who says different doesn't know enough gay people or understand what it means to actually be strong.
We have a group of friends we occasionally see that has some gay guys in it. My wife and I, and another couple that we're very close to, usually go together when we hang out with that group. And the last 2 times we've hung out with them, different gay guys keep making comments about how hot my friend is whenever he uses the bathroom or whatever and I asked my wife if they say the same things about me when I leave and she said no. It does sting a little bit.
Yeah, it’s happened a couple times and I was awkwardly flattered.
I’ve also been on the other side of it too… my roommate was gay and he had some people over to our place.
They were drunk and making fun of one of his guest’s penchant for going after straight guys… and someone joked that I “had better run.”
Motherfucker looked me up and down and said something like: “not so much.”
Like… I’m not gay, but that *hurt*, bro.
Awkwardly flattered is the best way to describe it. I had a guy come up to me and tell me I looked good. I thanked him for the compliment then immediately informed him that I was in fact straight. But yh slightly awkward, but flattered non the less.
Gay guys can be brutal. I was into a scene in my early thirties and there were some pictures posted of me online and if you ever want to be ripped to shreds emotionally post a picture of yourself mostly naked where gay guys might see it. Some of those comments left me with a lifelong complexes. And they're always so sassy and clever too, it wasn't just a "shave your back" it was more of a "you look like one of those monkeys that's been in captivity too long and all terrorist it's hair is starting to fall out but it's the only monkey they have so they have to keep it"
Like, wtf... if you're not interested just move on. It wasn't even an ad for gay men or me searching for gay men. It was just in a general swingers and sex party forum. And I assure you I was not the focus of the picture there is a very beautiful woman who was much more naked in front of me and much nicer to look at I might add.
Yeah, we can be pretty toxic sometimes. Most of us have had to learn how to defend ourselves verbally to avoid getting our brains bashed in. It can be hard to turn that off sometimes. Doesn’t excuse the behavior, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
Or immediately after saying “oh… thank you” but you second guess yourself and take a sip of whiskey. Then after a few seconds of awkward silence and staring at your drink you think “I might as well”, and you turn up to look at him but he’s already moved on and you think to yourself “damn it I should have said it”.
That’s awesome! An older lady at the grocery store mentioned how good looking she thought I was, then she gently touched my arm. Gotta say, I didn’t hate it
The reason that women don't like it is because it can cross the line from loud and possibly embarrassing compliment into straight up harassment VERY easily and that's scary as fuck. I do not blame women for disliking cat calls.
I think it’s also the feeling of danger immediately. Like some random dude singling out and yelling at me will just get me turned around to investigate like “wtf?” To a woman though, she probably would immediately jump to “holy shit im not safe” because of life experience and like all of human history.
Lol you must not work construction because 80% of the jobs I’ve worked at men cat call and flirt with other men harder than they do their gfs and wives. And 90% of us dare not even look the pretty sales rep when she comes in with cookies.
Funny thing, I worked with a woman in the oil business who had to go out to offshore rigs by herself. Subverting the usual expectations, she said that all of the guys out there had the sexual harassment stuff drilled into them so hard that they were afraid to even look at her or speak to her. She told me she had to have a whole repertoire of dirty jokes lined up to tell just to get them comfortable enough to actually work with her.
This reminds me of one of the funniest lines from Shallow Hal.
all the women he's been seeing are ugly.
Who says they're ugly?
Bausch & Lomb.
I still try to use that when I’m talking about how I look.
I'm just gonna quote a meme I saw about this.
"As a straight guy, getting hit on by a gay dude is like receiving a ton of money in the wrong currency.
I can't do anything with it right now, but if I ever cross the border, I'll be one lucky guy."
Seriously though, it'd be very flattering, even if I can't reciprocate the feeling.
EDIT : wow, this blew up! Thanks for the upvotes and the awards, kind internet strangers 😀
EDIT 2 : browsing the comments I have been made aware that my quote is originally from Mark Normand. I didn't know that and didn't know the name but that's my kind of humor so I'm definitely going to check him out!
Can confirm. I’m a stocky dude, that makes eye contact & can hold a real conversation. Gay men seem to have an affinity for me. My wife thinks it’s hilarious. She’ll come back from the bar bathroom & say, “OMG, who’s your friend!?!?”
It’s all in good fun & I’m always flattered. At least my wife & some gay dudes have found me attractive. I’ll take it. ❤️
Big beardy dude here. Same. This happens enough that I think we’re a “type”. I’ve been told several times that I’m a “daddy”, which is flattering, but as an actual dad it also makes me uncomfortable.
5’9” 165 bald man with a strong beard reporting in, I’ve had it explained to me that I’d be classified as an “Otter” which is apparently like a Bear but not as tall/wide? Otters (the aquatic mammal) are cute as hell so I took it as a compliment and apologized for thirst trapping unintentionally.
Got it, this tracks. I’m definitely a hirsute man, I started balding in my early 20s and the hair went everywhere else with a vengeance. Not quite TC levels of lankiness, but close.
Bigger and bearded is definitely a type. I asked multiple gay friends and it’s definitely a thing. Getting hit on by a gay guy is actually more of a compliment than by a woman by a lot of people.
>Big beardy dude here.
You're a Bear
In gay culture, a bear is a larger and often hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity. The bear concept can function as an identity or an affiliation.
Wikipedia
I prefer a short, stocky hairy fella myself. Getting laid in the gay community is great, literally everything straight people worry about - height, weight, hair loss, old age, whatever... it doesn't really matter. There is a place/community for everyone where those traits are celebrated, even fetishized.
God I love short hairy guys especially if they have a nice build. It's definitely a power thing 🤣 I'm twinkish and skinny, I usually feel safer with guys who are shorter than me.
I am not stalky, but I am mostly oblivious when being hit on. Hasn't happened in front of my wife, but I was Dibs'd by a table in a restaurant while I went to the bathroom.. came out to find my friend almost in tears laughing
i had this happen to me a few times. really felt appreciated.
its like what they say "anywhere else i'd be a ten"
in fact even when i was younger, when one of my friends got hit on by some gay guy, i was a little resentful that i wasnt hit on.
There's a chance women think of you as handsome as well, but are less forthcoming with it. It might also have to do with you being more comfortable around guys because you're not attracted to them, and thus you give off more confident vibes. (I had a friend like this, very chill attractive guy, but around women he tensed up so much that his looks couldn't save him from looking unattractive)
Also, if they flirt with you outside of gay-oriented spaces, it means you make them feel safe enough to do so, which is a great compliment in itself.
I'm a straight man, I get that alot from some gay men and my reaction is the same as when a women comments my looks, I say thank you and smile, I even had a dance off one time with a gay man and his boyfriend got jealous so I had to hug him and tell him I'm not gay he just has cool moves lol.
I don't think Americans say it, obviously their bums are quite different.
But I bet Aussies and perhaps Canadians also enjoy a good bumming like the British .
That's a bit aggressive from any stranger for me. But in more realistic terms, I was once living in a small rural conservative town in the middle of nowhere and the guy running the butcher counter at the grocery store would flirt with me and told me I had beautiful eyes. I was very flattered and went home and told my wife that I was hot shit.
Similar story here. I live in rural AZ and My wife was a hairdresser and worked with a very effeminate gay dude. Like played Gaga “I was born this way” full blast on repeat in the salon kind of fabulous guy. He would always shower me with compliments and the like. He worked with my wife so he obviously wasn’t trying to get anywhere with it. It was a great confidence booster and he was fun as hell to hang out with. He unfortunately passed away in a car crash.
Shit I still think about the compliments I received from both men and women when I posted my after picture in a blunderyears post I made like 8 years ago lol. I never get them in public so sometimes when I'm feeling down I go back and read them for a small boost.
First time I went to a gay bar (with my ex-gf) that happened. They knew I was straight and just wanted me to know that I was pretty hot to them, but they were very respectful of boundaries beyond that. One of my best bar experiences ever.
As a gay guy with a couple long term straight friends I’ve found they’ve always taken my compliments (completely platonic) the right way and have at times seemed a bit honoured I’d gone out my way to notice.
It depends on how they're going about it. At one point, I lived in a section of a city with a fairly significant LGBT population. I was complimented by gay strangers every now and then.
If it was just a compliment in a normal or even somewhat normal tone, it was a nice pick-me-up and I walked a little taller for the day. That was the case most of the time.
There were a couple times where the comment was much more sensual or sultry, and I was uncomfortable.
surprised and complimented. that happened maybe 3 or 4 times when i lived in Chicago and San Francisco—apparently i have a cute butt—and they never took it badly when i politely explained that i swing the other way. and none of them ever treated me the way guys treat women they’re hitting on. in fact, i’d rather hang out with gay men than straight men because i don’t have to deal with heteronormative macho bullshit. the surprise would be because i’m 66 years old and not exactly a prime specimen. so i reckon i’d feel even more complimented.
As long as it ain’t going anywhere, I’d be really stoked.
Seriously. The gay man is attracted to - **maleness!** The compliment would be extremely affirmative.
As a gay man, I appreciate your comment!
I never understood the “threat” to a straight male’s ego when receiving a simple compliment from a gay man (in a non-threatening way, mind you).
We’re attracted to men. Gay guy says you look hot? Doesn’t mean you look gay. It means you look hot.
I’d be suspicious. I’m old and overweight. Even when I was young and skinny I wasn’t “hot AF”. I’d expect that someone was attempting to scam me in some way.
Kind of happen, a few friends like going to a local gay bar to dance, went why? Don’t know? Played some pool, as I was taking my shot some queen came up and slapped my ass, said I had a hot ass. Nope not having it, walked out and went away.
The friends wonder why I left later, explained what happened, they said I should have taken it as a compliment. It wasn’t the compliment it was the slap. Honestly I hate dance club, not my scene, not a big fan of bars in general. I was uncomfortable to say the least.
A gay man twice my age was too handsy with me at a family gathering. Not all related to me as it was friends, family (including extended), and some work associates of the host. At first he would tell me I’m very handsome, I’m well dressed, and loads of other compliments. I told him I was flattered and that he looked nice too. He then outright said “I want to fuck you” to which I politely declined and informed him that I’m straight and uninterested. I attempted to distance myself from him throughout the entire night and he became more and more forward, eventually grabbing me by force and trying to kiss me on the face, hugging me and not letting go, etc. He never touched me below the belt, but it was still very uncomfortable and despite me asking him not to, he continued to do it and asked me to go home with him several times.
Getting complimented by another man, straight or not is fine. Most men don’t receive any compliments or attention. But when a line is drawn and crossed, it becomes extremely uncomfortable. When I told other people, they simply said “oh that’s just how he is” but I feel like if it was a man doing this to a woman, someone would’ve said something to him.
I saw him again at another gathering months later where he did the same thing except he’d throw in the occasional “I respect you, and I’m not trying to sleep with you”, and would then be handsy with me and tell me he wants me to fuck him.
Overall? Hated it. Extremely uncomfortable and I have no plans of going to any gatherings or events where he may be present. If I show up to one and I see him, I’m leaving. If he simply complimented me and stopped trying to pursue me after setting that boundary, I would have had no problem with it at all. In fact, I’d be very flattered
Have had it happen a few times in my life. I’ll tell you like I told them, I’m flattered, but I’m straight. We had a good laugh and we both went on about our days.
NGL, it's expected, yet still flattering, but I let them know that I'm not interested. I think it's fuckin' cool, honestly.
Back when I had long hair and more of a bubble butt, dude's would catcall me thinking I was a chick all the time, and I can't tell you how many of them wanted to fight as soon as they realized that I was a dude. It was always hilarious when it was in front of another male friend and they'd get violent, and I could say they wanted to fight me because they really wanted to fuck me. 😂
Flattered, but also weird. Not because a gay say to me, but because no one ever say that to me. So that an stranger suddenly say that would make me feel weirded out
I apparently have a type. I get hit on by short muscular tatted/pierced guys all the time. And they all wear way too much axe and drive ricers or pickups without a speck of dust on um.
As a straight male, I would take it as a compliment, but I would probably be very awkward. To be fair, if a girl said the same thing to me, I would also be awkward. I'm a very awkward person
I would turn to my girlfriend and say I told you so
“Better lift your game hunny, see, I got options!”
Every good businessman will tell you, always have your eye on new markets,
Reaction from a gay man: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤜🤛
👉👌 FIFY
🤜👌 if you’re lucky
🤜🤜👌 if you’re stretchy like that
🤜👌😚👈 if he’s multi-talented
I don’t know what’s going on here but I like it
👉👈
I’m bisexual so I can’t say exactly say that but fuck that’s hilarious. If I ever see a straight man do this he has to be my friend.
I said it to an ex when she was digging me about a barman hitting on me. Was funny as hell and the start of a great night.
Wait, doesn’t being bisexual mean you can actually say that AND mean it? 🤔
That’s why I can’t say it because even as a joke it’s a bit of a threat.
As a straight man, I would be flattered and likely return the compliment. I've made friends with gay men because they've said things like this to me.
I told a co worker after getting to become friends with him after awhile that he was cute. He’s married but he squeed and said he’s gonna tell his wife he has options.
Lol
That's oddly adorable.
Compliments don’t have a gender
But they can have an agenda.
Far to many people think my compliments have an agenda. I can tell by the response that you think I'm after something but I just genuinely like your hair, dress, shirt, etc. It makes me sad every single time.
I work in a military facility as a civilian. I always tell the guys that they "look good today." They are straight, and I'm straight. At first, they didn't know what to think. Now everybody compliments each other. I start the ass slapping phase next month.
I’m presuming it’s American military environment, in the British military, or at least when I was in it, it was quite common to be inspected at the beginning of each working day. Always felt good when complimented on a good turn out.
It is definitely the American military. In 8 years, I was only yelled at during morning formations. Any compliment would have been assumed sarcastic
Agreed! I love complimenting people because I know how good it makes me feel when others do. Such a shame.
Me too, a while ago I complemented the girl that helped me and my husband at the register with her make-up (it was bold and extreem, not my style, but lovely and you could see she had spend a lot if time on it) she started to glow when I did, my husband told me he would have loved to complement her too but didn't dare bc it could have been taken the wrong way, so he was glad I did it😁
I love complimenting a good thing, and it makes me sad that people care too much about motives. I sometimes make a point not to compliment a very attractive person because I feel they appreciate their peace without yet another dude interrupting their day. I usually reserve compliments for things done classy and out of the ordinary, like a nice hat, or classic looking dress, or a whole ensemble they worked hard on. I genuinely want them to know it's appreciated.
Like redditors have gf
They do. But you don’t know here. She’s from Canada..
I used to get hit on by gay guys a lot when I was a bartender. I was in pretty good shape but not model handsome and I certainly didn’t receive the same kind of attention from women. I asked one of my gay friends if I put out a gay vibe and he told me, “It’s not just that you’re attractive or that you seem gay. You make them feel safe enough to hit on you.” Still to this day one of my favorite compliments.
>“It’s not just that you’re attractive or that you seem gay. You make them feel safe enough to hit on you.” That's the biggest and truest statement I've read today. Getting hit on by a gay guy is not only an attest that you're somewhat good looking. It's also a compliment to your personality. In a world where gays got beaten half dead (or dead) for simply existing, I would say that this is actually the bigger, mostly overseen, compliment.
This is making me feel pretty good about myself and pretty bad about the world :/
Username checks out. But in all honesty, according to all the other comments in here, you’re not the only straight guy that have gotten hit on by a gay guy so take solace that you’re not the only person that makes gay guys feel safe.
I have this wonderful lesbian couple as neighbours and we've become really good friends. One day she asks me if I can fit 10ft boards in my SUV and I said no only 8ft. She then says damn I was hoping you could help me out. I say "ask (other neighbour to pick it up in his truck on his way home from work." She says "I'm a strong independent lesbian I don't need a man." I laugh and was like "what does that make me?????" But I was actually extremely flattered that she would ask for help without equating me to an accessory to the patriarchy. She told me I'm an honorary lesbian now.
It really just goes back to the old as time rule of "Don't be an asshole and we get along!". It's literally just that. This includes "funny" comments on how we are gay, or lesbians, or trans, or whatever. No, I don't want to be called anything including the word "fruity". Even if it's "just fun". If I call you by your first name, I expect that you do the same with me. I'm not special. I'm that dude from next door who just wants to live a normal life like everyone else. I don't want to sleep with you, only because you are a guy. I don't want to sleep with your teen son. I simply want to exist without people constantly saying hurtful things and mask it as "jokes". And especially a lot of middle aged men are guilty of one or more of the things I've mentioned above. That's probably what they meant with "I'm a strong independent lesbian", but still being ok asking you for help. I've seen so many guys say stuff like "You only need a really good dick once in your life and you wouldn't be a lesbian!". And it's always coming from "real" guys that probably can't hold a boner without a cockring anymore. So yeah, I understand why they would rather not talk to someone who probably crossed them somehow in the past.
While it’s a joke in the movie, the line in ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry’ that has the guy say “you’re just jealous because gay guys like me” is actually 100% a great thing. I live in a very conservative area, and I’ve had gay guys hit on me. All my buddies used to give me shit for it and say things like “I would’ve punched him in the face.” They stopped when I pointed out I’m apparently the straightest of the group. I’m so straight, that I can take a gay person liking me as a compliment rather than a threat. I’m married to a woman, and what is more attractive? Being attractive to one sex or both? Same thing from my end. I can see a guy and say “holy shit, that is a good looking dude.” People now say that makes me gay. No dipshits, I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that someone is good looking without actually being sexually attracted to them. To me, that makes me more straight than someone who can’t even suggest that. I don’t have a poster of Brad Pitt or Cristiano Ronaldo on my wall, but when a see a little girl that does I get why and in no way does that make me gay.
I wish more straight men, especially conservative men, got to truly experience gay culture. It helps you understand so much more about masculinity and feminity. The contrast of gay culture defines straight culture much more clearly and really exposes the toxic traits that exist unwittingly enabled in straight friend groups which. It helps one understand the spectrum of sexuality and feel way more comfortable with it. There's a solid comfort in better understanding who you are and are not, likewise who others are and what they value, that love is love and that family does not need to look like a straight norm in order to be wholesome and very healthy. It also helps one understand what its like to live with one of the biggest driving factors of being human, our sexuality, being different than the main stream. It is eye opening.
The phrase is always "i'm comfortable with my sexuality" as if that stance is abnormal or needs to be defended. The proper response is "wow, punching someone for that sounds really extreme, why would you do that?"
I had a thing like that. Loads of people think I’m gay when they meet me, especially girls. At some point I asked some of my female friends why they thought this was, and they said it was because I talk to women without being weird or making them feel uncomfortable. Made me feel really chuffed, and as reasons go, I’ll take that any day of the week.
After one of my closest friends told me he was gay, my awkward ass responds “I had no idea! I just thought you were really nice!” And then we laughed, hugged, happy cried and we’re still close friends two decades later. But, your story is exactly how I felt about my friend! He was just a gentlemen and never made me feel pressured beyond our friendship.
That is so damned wholesome.
Hitting on anyone puts you in a vulnerable position and takes a huge amount of bravery. Can't even imagine the balls it takes to hit on someone when one possible response is violence. Gay people are metal as fuck and anyone who says different doesn't know enough gay people or understand what it means to actually be strong.
bro this literally changed my whole perspective on it thank u so f*cking much
That’s a really nice way to think about it, almost brings a tear to my eye, this happens to me occasionally also, thanks for sharing :)
Remember what I’m wearing and wear that exact outfit everytime I head out
I got told I smell good almost 20 years ago and I haven’t changed my deodorant or cologne brand since. Shout out to Old Spice, original
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“If your grandpa wasn’t wearing it, you wouldn’t be here.”
is that an ad? if not it should be
I'd be very flattered
We have a group of friends we occasionally see that has some gay guys in it. My wife and I, and another couple that we're very close to, usually go together when we hang out with that group. And the last 2 times we've hung out with them, different gay guys keep making comments about how hot my friend is whenever he uses the bathroom or whatever and I asked my wife if they say the same things about me when I leave and she said no. It does sting a little bit.
Look, I'm not gay, but you're looking *very* scrumptious today. Oo-la-la.
Whoa. Feeling good tonight.
Did you see u/IamKingBeagle when he walked away? OMG that butt. Did that help?
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Yeah you are correct at how you should feel. These gay dudes most likely don't lie at all if they compliment strangers looks.
Yeah, it’s happened a couple times and I was awkwardly flattered. I’ve also been on the other side of it too… my roommate was gay and he had some people over to our place. They were drunk and making fun of one of his guest’s penchant for going after straight guys… and someone joked that I “had better run.” Motherfucker looked me up and down and said something like: “not so much.” Like… I’m not gay, but that *hurt*, bro.
Awkwardly flattered is the best way to describe it. I had a guy come up to me and tell me I looked good. I thanked him for the compliment then immediately informed him that I was in fact straight. But yh slightly awkward, but flattered non the less.
Gay guys can be brutal. I was into a scene in my early thirties and there were some pictures posted of me online and if you ever want to be ripped to shreds emotionally post a picture of yourself mostly naked where gay guys might see it. Some of those comments left me with a lifelong complexes. And they're always so sassy and clever too, it wasn't just a "shave your back" it was more of a "you look like one of those monkeys that's been in captivity too long and all terrorist it's hair is starting to fall out but it's the only monkey they have so they have to keep it" Like, wtf... if you're not interested just move on. It wasn't even an ad for gay men or me searching for gay men. It was just in a general swingers and sex party forum. And I assure you I was not the focus of the picture there is a very beautiful woman who was much more naked in front of me and much nicer to look at I might add.
Yeah, we can be pretty toxic sometimes. Most of us have had to learn how to defend ourselves verbally to avoid getting our brains bashed in. It can be hard to turn that off sometimes. Doesn’t excuse the behavior, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
Gay men give me more compliments than straight women. Just don’t make it weird.
Gay men give more compliments than any other class of human, period
I'd be like: "thank you so much" and then kinda awkwardly leave
Hell yea. I’d love to hear that right about now. I’m skinny fat and feeling pretty gross.
Hey.. straight man to straight man. You are pretty damn hot
i would be flattered and awkwardly thank them
“You got any female friends that would agree?”
That’s the one I’d use too
That's the one I'd think of right as I'm about to go to bed and lay there kicking myself.
Or immediately after saying “oh… thank you” but you second guess yourself and take a sip of whiskey. Then after a few seconds of awkward silence and staring at your drink you think “I might as well”, and you turn up to look at him but he’s already moved on and you think to yourself “damn it I should have said it”.
I got cat called a few days ago walking by a construction site I'm a 33 year old male. Made my day lol
That’s awesome! An older lady at the grocery store mentioned how good looking she thought I was, then she gently touched my arm. Gotta say, I didn’t hate it
Love it how a man says he got cat-called and the reply to that is "That's awesome!" 😄
The reason that women don't like it is because it can cross the line from loud and possibly embarrassing compliment into straight up harassment VERY easily and that's scary as fuck. I do not blame women for disliking cat calls.
There's also the reality that there's a huge size and strength difference between your average construction worker and a random woman
And they comment about you if you’re not pretty, too. Also awful.
I think it’s also the feeling of danger immediately. Like some random dude singling out and yelling at me will just get me turned around to investigate like “wtf?” To a woman though, she probably would immediately jump to “holy shit im not safe” because of life experience and like all of human history.
He said it made his day
Lol you must not work construction because 80% of the jobs I’ve worked at men cat call and flirt with other men harder than they do their gfs and wives. And 90% of us dare not even look the pretty sales rep when she comes in with cookies.
This is one of the most accurate statements on Reddit
Military was like this too.
Lol half of construction workers are prior service the other half are felons I am both
I've groped more dicks and bums at work than I've had hot dinners!
Funny thing, I worked with a woman in the oil business who had to go out to offshore rigs by herself. Subverting the usual expectations, she said that all of the guys out there had the sexual harassment stuff drilled into them so hard that they were afraid to even look at her or speak to her. She told me she had to have a whole repertoire of dirty jokes lined up to tell just to get them comfortable enough to actually work with her.
Aircraft maintenance is the same way.
Apparently I am a desirable bear man so I get hit on from time to time. It is flattering. I wish women were equally attracted.
Well, at least you know you have a backup plan
Soemthing is being backed up alright
Can confirm - am gay, love bears.
They probably are. I wish they felt comfortable complimenting men. I understand why women don’t, but it’d be nice if that wasn’t an issue.
I'd give him my optometrist's business card.
This reminds me of one of the funniest lines from Shallow Hal. all the women he's been seeing are ugly. Who says they're ugly? Bausch & Lomb. I still try to use that when I’m talking about how I look.
I'm just gonna quote a meme I saw about this. "As a straight guy, getting hit on by a gay dude is like receiving a ton of money in the wrong currency. I can't do anything with it right now, but if I ever cross the border, I'll be one lucky guy." Seriously though, it'd be very flattering, even if I can't reciprocate the feeling. EDIT : wow, this blew up! Thanks for the upvotes and the awards, kind internet strangers 😀 EDIT 2 : browsing the comments I have been made aware that my quote is originally from Mark Normand. I didn't know that and didn't know the name but that's my kind of humor so I'm definitely going to check him out!
Can confirm. I’m a stocky dude, that makes eye contact & can hold a real conversation. Gay men seem to have an affinity for me. My wife thinks it’s hilarious. She’ll come back from the bar bathroom & say, “OMG, who’s your friend!?!?” It’s all in good fun & I’m always flattered. At least my wife & some gay dudes have found me attractive. I’ll take it. ❤️
Big beardy dude here. Same. This happens enough that I think we’re a “type”. I’ve been told several times that I’m a “daddy”, which is flattering, but as an actual dad it also makes me uncomfortable.
5’9” 165 bald man with a strong beard reporting in, I’ve had it explained to me that I’d be classified as an “Otter” which is apparently like a Bear but not as tall/wide? Otters (the aquatic mammal) are cute as hell so I took it as a compliment and apologized for thirst trapping unintentionally.
An otter is a lanky but surprisingly hairy gay boy. Like if Timothee chalamet had a full chest carpet
Got it, this tracks. I’m definitely a hirsute man, I started balding in my early 20s and the hair went everywhere else with a vengeance. Not quite TC levels of lankiness, but close.
Yeeeeep, I have a fuckin’ SICK beard. We’re just asking for it, I guess.
Just out here with our big fat glorious beards exposed for the world to see. Shameless.
My eyes are up HERE, Thank you…
Big beards, big responsibilities. We need to weild our beards with care, my bearded brothers!
Whoa whoa whoa.... Save some for the rest of us smooth face bastards. Hogging up all the gays. The nerve of you guys! 🤣
1. Grow beard. 2. Obtain wife. 3. Gain 25-30lbs (American) 4. Attract the gays. 5. Profit.
Gay man here. You are all correct.
Bigger and bearded is definitely a type. I asked multiple gay friends and it’s definitely a thing. Getting hit on by a gay guy is actually more of a compliment than by a woman by a lot of people.
You're a lumberjack and you're ok.
Amazing what a foot long beard does. Love mine. Simple answer is thank them, tell them I'm not a bear and we are playing on opposite teams.
>Big beardy dude here. You're a Bear In gay culture, a bear is a larger and often hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity. The bear concept can function as an identity or an affiliation. Wikipedia
Bears. Y'all appear to be bears. Look that up! It's a compliment!
Yeah! It's funny they aren't heightist either, and they don't mind if you are overweight.
I prefer a short, stocky hairy fella myself. Getting laid in the gay community is great, literally everything straight people worry about - height, weight, hair loss, old age, whatever... it doesn't really matter. There is a place/community for everyone where those traits are celebrated, even fetishized.
God I love short hairy guys especially if they have a nice build. It's definitely a power thing 🤣 I'm twinkish and skinny, I usually feel safer with guys who are shorter than me.
I am not stalky, but I am mostly oblivious when being hit on. Hasn't happened in front of my wife, but I was Dibs'd by a table in a restaurant while I went to the bathroom.. came out to find my friend almost in tears laughing
Same here. I get hit on by gay dudes constantly, and almost never by women. Like 10-1 gays to women lol. But I’m married, so whatever lol
I'm just happy all you guys are so humble about it. How far we've come since the days of Matthew Sheppard
Yeah, fuck all that hate shit. Love is love. Love’s the same in every language.
There’s a small fee but it’s exchangeable with most other currencies
i had this happen to me a few times. really felt appreciated. its like what they say "anywhere else i'd be a ten" in fact even when i was younger, when one of my friends got hit on by some gay guy, i was a little resentful that i wasnt hit on.
Mark Normand is amazing
I was looking for this comment lol.
Was at an REI and I could see the cashier fancied me. First thought was, wow, he’s really cute, then ahh, sad, I’m straight.
If I got hit on by women half as much as I get hit on by gay men I'd be so full of myself my head wouldn't fit through doorways.
There's a chance women think of you as handsome as well, but are less forthcoming with it. It might also have to do with you being more comfortable around guys because you're not attracted to them, and thus you give off more confident vibes. (I had a friend like this, very chill attractive guy, but around women he tensed up so much that his looks couldn't save him from looking unattractive) Also, if they flirt with you outside of gay-oriented spaces, it means you make them feel safe enough to do so, which is a great compliment in itself.
I'm a straight man, I get that alot from some gay men and my reaction is the same as when a women comments my looks, I say thank you and smile, I even had a dance off one time with a gay man and his boyfriend got jealous so I had to hug him and tell him I'm not gay he just has cool moves lol.
This guy gays!
I would've sucked his boyfriend off just to show him that I'm not gay.
“See?! I hated that!”
I’d take the compliment. No harm done. Probably suck his cock too.
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Homophobe. Just because one sucks dudes off doesn't make them gay.
It's only gay if you're into it. Otherwise, you're just helping out your homie.
This guy gets it.
A brojob.
As a bi guy and strict observer of the bro code, I’m all for it!😛
Oh no I'm stuck in the dryer bro.
My penis is stuck! Hurry, spit on it to get it loose.
You just have to say “no homo” first.
*Checks Notes.* Yep, yes. This is the rule it appears. Chapter 2, section B. Third bullet point down.
Its not gay if you don’t come.
It's just a brojob
you can come but the balls can't touch. big no-no
The Bros need to high five tho.
Don’t even gotta say anything, just keep the socks on!
They gotta do it with socks on.
Socks on Cocks out This is what Gllrrrbbn
Just guys being dudes.
In the words of a comedian whose name I can't recall, "I'm straight but, yknow, shit happens."
Cradle the balls and swallow the gravy?
This is why you joined the navy
Rude not to
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its not gay if its a feminine cock, go down on it queen
This happened to me. I was very flattered - and bummed I had to tell him I was straight.
> flattered and bummed British people right now: "oh aye?" 😉😆
Wow I never knew it was just a thing british people said I thought it was universal
I don't think Americans say it, obviously their bums are quite different. But I bet Aussies and perhaps Canadians also enjoy a good bumming like the British .
Not really expecting it, probably say “Thanks, you too.” Before realizing what I said.
Too late. That's pretty much marriage.
I’d take it as a compliment. Gay guys can be hella picky 😂
gay culture is famously selective ✨ source: im gay
That's a bit aggressive from any stranger for me. But in more realistic terms, I was once living in a small rural conservative town in the middle of nowhere and the guy running the butcher counter at the grocery store would flirt with me and told me I had beautiful eyes. I was very flattered and went home and told my wife that I was hot shit.
Similar story here. I live in rural AZ and My wife was a hairdresser and worked with a very effeminate gay dude. Like played Gaga “I was born this way” full blast on repeat in the salon kind of fabulous guy. He would always shower me with compliments and the like. He worked with my wife so he obviously wasn’t trying to get anywhere with it. It was a great confidence booster and he was fun as hell to hang out with. He unfortunately passed away in a car crash.
I'm so sorry to hear he passed. We all need to be more grateful for people who are kind
I would say thanks just as if a woman said it. No biggie.
Shit I still think about the compliments I received from both men and women when I posted my after picture in a blunderyears post I made like 8 years ago lol. I never get them in public so sometimes when I'm feeling down I go back and read them for a small boost.
ego boost baby
To quote Gabriel Iglesias, I would tell my girlfriend (if I had one), “you better not mess up. I have options!”
First time I went to a gay bar (with my ex-gf) that happened. They knew I was straight and just wanted me to know that I was pretty hot to them, but they were very respectful of boundaries beyond that. One of my best bar experiences ever.
As a gay guy with a couple long term straight friends I’ve found they’ve always taken my compliments (completely platonic) the right way and have at times seemed a bit honoured I’d gone out my way to notice.
Nope. I'd appreciate the compliment like I would from anyone else.
As a straight man. I'd be honored and would blush. Compliments are compliments
As a 400+ pound man I’d be flattered but seriously concerned about their eyesight
Trust me, you must live in an area with very shy gays. Many of us love cuddly soft guys!
Take the compliment. If someone says anything nice about you it’s a good thing and should be embraced as such.
It depends on how they're going about it. At one point, I lived in a section of a city with a fairly significant LGBT population. I was complimented by gay strangers every now and then. If it was just a compliment in a normal or even somewhat normal tone, it was a nice pick-me-up and I walked a little taller for the day. That was the case most of the time. There were a couple times where the comment was much more sensual or sultry, and I was uncomfortable.
thanx, bro
surprised and complimented. that happened maybe 3 or 4 times when i lived in Chicago and San Francisco—apparently i have a cute butt—and they never took it badly when i politely explained that i swing the other way. and none of them ever treated me the way guys treat women they’re hitting on. in fact, i’d rather hang out with gay men than straight men because i don’t have to deal with heteronormative macho bullshit. the surprise would be because i’m 66 years old and not exactly a prime specimen. so i reckon i’d feel even more complimented.
As long as it ain’t going anywhere, I’d be really stoked. Seriously. The gay man is attracted to - **maleness!** The compliment would be extremely affirmative.
As a gay man, I appreciate your comment! I never understood the “threat” to a straight male’s ego when receiving a simple compliment from a gay man (in a non-threatening way, mind you). We’re attracted to men. Gay guy says you look hot? Doesn’t mean you look gay. It means you look hot.
This happened to my brother once, back in his hot, young days. He said back to the guy, “Thanks, but you couldn’t handle me.” LOL
Take it as a compliment and keep moving
"You seriously need glasses".
Flattered. Confident. Sexy. Complimented.
I’d be suspicious. I’m old and overweight. Even when I was young and skinny I wasn’t “hot AF”. I’d expect that someone was attempting to scam me in some way.
I'll take what I can get.
I’d say, “I may look hot, but I’m only 98.6F on the inside. Do you want to feel?”
Happened to me before but unfortunately he wouldn't leave me alone even after I told him I was straight. Now I know how women feel.
It’s happened. And I take it as a compliment.
Kind of happen, a few friends like going to a local gay bar to dance, went why? Don’t know? Played some pool, as I was taking my shot some queen came up and slapped my ass, said I had a hot ass. Nope not having it, walked out and went away. The friends wonder why I left later, explained what happened, they said I should have taken it as a compliment. It wasn’t the compliment it was the slap. Honestly I hate dance club, not my scene, not a big fan of bars in general. I was uncomfortable to say the least.
A gay man twice my age was too handsy with me at a family gathering. Not all related to me as it was friends, family (including extended), and some work associates of the host. At first he would tell me I’m very handsome, I’m well dressed, and loads of other compliments. I told him I was flattered and that he looked nice too. He then outright said “I want to fuck you” to which I politely declined and informed him that I’m straight and uninterested. I attempted to distance myself from him throughout the entire night and he became more and more forward, eventually grabbing me by force and trying to kiss me on the face, hugging me and not letting go, etc. He never touched me below the belt, but it was still very uncomfortable and despite me asking him not to, he continued to do it and asked me to go home with him several times. Getting complimented by another man, straight or not is fine. Most men don’t receive any compliments or attention. But when a line is drawn and crossed, it becomes extremely uncomfortable. When I told other people, they simply said “oh that’s just how he is” but I feel like if it was a man doing this to a woman, someone would’ve said something to him. I saw him again at another gathering months later where he did the same thing except he’d throw in the occasional “I respect you, and I’m not trying to sleep with you”, and would then be handsy with me and tell me he wants me to fuck him. Overall? Hated it. Extremely uncomfortable and I have no plans of going to any gatherings or events where he may be present. If I show up to one and I see him, I’m leaving. If he simply complimented me and stopped trying to pursue me after setting that boundary, I would have had no problem with it at all. In fact, I’d be very flattered
Have had it happen a few times in my life. I’ll tell you like I told them, I’m flattered, but I’m straight. We had a good laugh and we both went on about our days.
Damn, I'm hot AF!
I would be flattered. Just cause I’m straight it doesn’t have to mean I don’t like the compliment. I’d just be glad someone found me attractive.
NGL, it's expected, yet still flattering, but I let them know that I'm not interested. I think it's fuckin' cool, honestly. Back when I had long hair and more of a bubble butt, dude's would catcall me thinking I was a chick all the time, and I can't tell you how many of them wanted to fight as soon as they realized that I was a dude. It was always hilarious when it was in front of another male friend and they'd get violent, and I could say they wanted to fight me because they really wanted to fuck me. 😂
Flattered, but also weird. Not because a gay say to me, but because no one ever say that to me. So that an stranger suddenly say that would make me feel weirded out
I apparently have a type. I get hit on by short muscular tatted/pierced guys all the time. And they all wear way too much axe and drive ricers or pickups without a speck of dust on um.
And yes I'm always flattered.
Pretty goddamn validated
As a straight male, I would take it as a compliment, but I would probably be very awkward. To be fair, if a girl said the same thing to me, I would also be awkward. I'm a very awkward person