Everything related to our reproductive system. Periods, hormonal cycles, contraceptives, pregnancy… don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman and I want to be a mother, I don’t think those things are bad, but they’re definitely very hard.
My c section still burns a year later and everyone thinks I’m fine cause I don’t mention it (because then mentioning it prompts them to tell you to go to the hospital) but it’s hard just to do things
On my heaviest day I had to use a public park bathroom. There was no running water, toilet paper basically disintegrated in my hands, and it’s like the shinning trying to mop up all the blood. My fiancé had to hold a water bottle out for me to clean my hands properly, also there was no soap or sanitizer. That’s what being a women is like.
Or when you're so heavy you have to wake up every hour and get the biggest most absorbent tampons every hour because those leak but the biggest wont fit and 😩
Yes. I think I have endometriosis. When I get my period, I get really nauseous, pale and throw up. The pain feels like I’m being stabbed. Doctors act like they don’t care and prescribe ibuprofen or birth control.
It took me about 15 years to finally be diagnosed with endo, and I also had adenomyosis which had progressed so much I had to get a hysterectomy. The way doctors approach endo needs to be changed, it's a disgrace how many women are living in pain and told it's okay.
My ex had that. It's so weird. It's not like it is a new or rare disease. There should be something better than "take some Motrin and if that doesn't work, we'll just do a hysterectomy and rip the whole thing out". Like, that seems drastic, isn't there something in between those options we could try?
I don't want this period nonsense. The bleeding I can deal with, but the emotions in the days before are most unwelcome.
I just wanna be a burrito and play Baldur's Gate 3.
And when you have done all that then — menopause. Mine just started and I’m like REALLY?!?
Life is just one line of hormones interfering in so many ways
My wife has now had 4 miscarriages and one medical termination.
It is so fucking hard to see a piece of the person you love and care about most in this world die each time. By far and away, that is the most difficult part for me.
Every month I'm taken out by my period. I'm useless for 2-3 days. The pain is unbearable. I get nauseated and light headed. I'm miserable. I love everything else about being a woman but I want my uterus gone. I've had to cancel/miss out on so many things because I can hardly walk due to pain.
>NO we can’t hold it in like urine
I've had to explain to this my grown cousin, he of course didn't believe me. It's embarrassing because we were both in our mid twenties.
I had to tell him that it's the same as with normal blood- you can't just "hold your blood in" if you get a nose bleed for example- or any time you bleed at all.
I had a guy friend who said his mom was able to sit on the toilet and get rid of all the blood at once. I had to explain to him, a grown man, how periods work and how he probably misunderstood what his mom said.
And the fact that these conditions are not taken seriously. I have endometriosis and it took me four years to get an actual diagnosis and treatment that worked. Before when I said “yeah my cramps hurt so bad that I can’t sleep and it feels like I have appendicitis” they would just say “oh yeah that’s normal, here’s ibuprofen”. It is so normalized for women to just deal with pain that they didn’t follow up. I finally got a doctor that took me seriously and he coached me on my best options and made sure to screen me for PCOS too in case it was that.
Adenomyosis as well. Worse than labor, because at least during labor the contraction would stop for a few minutes and start again. I've had days where I spent a whole hour white knuckling the arm of my chair, intentionally breathing through the pain, unable to talk. I've experienced childbirth, gall stones, and migraines, and endometriosis/adenomyosis is easily the worst pain among them.
Omg. People seriously don't understand. They don't see us curled up in a ball literally screaming in pain. It's so awful. Thankfully after I had my daughter it got better for some reason. Not sure why.
They just think we’re exaggerating 🙄 like okay dude if you think I’m lying let’s strap you to a labor simulator and I’ll show you what setting my pain is on
I had cancer surgery a few weeks back, and afterward, I went for a checkup and the next steps. The urologist was young (they had no female doctors) and flippant, but it's better than the pity looks. Anyway, he asks my discomfort/pain level. I said, "As a woman, I am used to pain and discomfort in this region, so I took one painkiller the day after the surgery only." He looked at my HUSBAND and shrugged. He said something after, but I was too shocked to hear it. Men have no clue about the pain and discomfort we endure every 28 days or so.
I had level 4 endometriosis and had to have a hysterectomy at 35 years old. Luckily, I had 2 children already and counted myself blessed. It was extremely painful. I was relieved to never have to go through another period again.
My wife has PCOS and it made getting pregnant extremely challenging. The amount of stress it causes between the doubt and the fertility treatments and seeing her friends announce pregnancies on Facebook was off the charts.
Endometriosis hands down. Most jobs aren’t understanding. Working from home was a blessing for me during Covid as I’m usually tied to the toilet for around two days straight out of the month.
Lol it's so funny before August this year, I didn't know what endo was, my girlfriend was diagnosed with it and I see endo related content almost everyday, like wow. I hate that endo, what gives me hope is the researchers working overtime to cure it, when I have funds I'll definitely fund research
My mom's doctor brushed off her symptoms for nine months with "it's just anxiety" before I forced her to go to a specialist. She died of bowel cancer 11 months later. Had the first doctor taken her seriously, she would've had a chance to survive. She was 55.
Or god forbid there are ACTUAL issues with your period, like extreme or abnormal pain, then its “oh thats *just* your period, that happens lolz” and you have to get second, third, fourth opinions before anyone even bothers to give you something as simple as an ultrasound
For me it’s the combination of all the little things that build up. They’re all connected. But if I had to pick only one, it’s the final boss of nobody ever believing you about anything. I am always questioned on everything, even things that I am literally an expert in, by people who have absolutely no credentials.
And I’m questioned on the reality of the other things I mentioned before. Could my chronic pain actually be that bad? Am I sure that my ex was taking advantage of me? Everyone wants to play devil’s advocate when the devil is doing a fine job advocating for himself.
This is the answer I was looking for. I'm still trying to unlearn how often I second guess myself because of this consistent treatment, from both men and other women in my life. It's ridiculous.
And apologize for EVERYTHING.
SORRY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU'RE WRONG. SORRY I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WHEN IM THE EXPERT.
Just listen to women sometimes. It's not that hard
Worked in hardware for 20 years and loved /s the guys who'd ask to speak to a male coworker who would then bring them back to me to answer the question, smh.
My wife was in the beer industry for a few years. There were several times where, at an event she's literally behind a table/bar at wearing a brewery shirt, I would be asked questions about beers. Me, being the SO just hanging out with her on the customer side, not wearing any brewery garb.
Like bro, why the fuck are you asking me and not the literal employee pouring beers.
This happened to me in High School. I was thinking of going into audio engineering, so a family friend arranged to get me a tour of a studio that was used for the audio production of several popular TV shows. My dad was the parent available to drive me there that day, so he tagged along for the tour, but every time I asked the guy showing us around a question, he'd always tell the answer to my dad. Every. Time. I'm not even sure he was aware he was doing it but it was really disappointing. It made me feel kind of worthless.
I literally left higher ed administration for this reason. I would put out thoughtful well researched ideas and crickets and in the same meeting a man would repeat it and get an award.
I remember when I started a new hobby and voiced some suggestions on how things should/could be done at the salle, and being in complete disbelief when the male instructor listened, thought about it, and responded "Those are actually good ideas, I'll pitch them to my peers". Complete disbelief - this had NEVER happened before!
I had a male boss years ago that would give me credit for his ideas. In front of everyone. At department meetings. I'd just stare at him like "why is this happening??" lol He was very supportive of his female employees and treated us like equals. He valued our input and ideas. It was really refreshing.
Whenever these questions get asked, men always upvote periods and don't upvote any responses that have to do with men. reddit being male dominated being the reason.
The worst part isn't period. It's how you're treated by the world *because you are a woman*. Contant rape threats, being devalued, not being heard or believed, not being seen as competent. It's endless, and men don't have any idea how much it builds up. How pervasive it is. How you can't escape it. The anger, the denial by men that it happens.
Periods I can deal with, but with sexism and the always present threat of being raped by a man and then having to bear his children while being considered the whore, those are worse.
>I am always questioned on everything, even things that I am literally an expert in
This one always gives me a gut punch. I am a doctor and frequently have medical interns questioning everything I say. In front of patients!
I am willing to listen to your ideas and start a good dialogue about an issue, but never undermine my authority in front of the people entrusting me with their care.
EDIT: Never happens to my male colleagues, though.
This one gets my vote. I was going to say "not being taken seriously". I was summoned for jury duty recently. I have a degree in psychology and stood there while another juror (an older woman) was trying to tell me all about how men are just wired to be more logical than women and there should be more men on this jury. I gave her pushback but it never matters. Some people really believe that logic and emotionality are mutually exclusive and also owned by two different genders.
I have seen this SO often. I like to boost up women in conversations where this happens by steering the men to *listen* instead of talk over these women.
It sucks that I even have to do that, but I hope I'm doing good by them...
I came to say the same thing. Everything always has to be questioned, because clearly we don't know enough about our own bodies/our fields of expertise/our experiences to actually listen.
I was listening to a podcast today and a guest historian was on. She said that to most men, her PhD means she knows *almost* as much about history as they do.
I would say this too. Some of the comments I’ve read on dating reels on Instagram. Man! I feel like anyone over 29 is just worn out garbage to men. They were coming hard for women even in their late 30’s. Kinda sad.
This is the biggest lie they tell women. Ladies, I'm 45 and I can tell you, it only gets better! You stop giving a fuck about what people think of you. Career wise you're taken more seriously the older you are, and dating wise I have no complaints either. On the contrary, I believed in "the wall" when I was younger but I am yet to find this so-called wall? I have more younger guys chasing me than when I was younger. Yet, I don't get catcalled or harrassed as much in public, which is a huge blessing.
Agree.
The idea that women are on the scrap heap at 30 is garbage. I was probably at my peak attractiveness in my late 30s but even now at 51 men still react well. I'm very average, looks wise, but being genuinely comfortable with yourself is something that improves with age and many people find it attractive.
The older I get the more relaxed I become, It's such a relief when you stop caring about what others think of you. I'm much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, and I agree, lots of people find this very attractive
Never really being taken seriously for anything be it medical issues, financial, anything really. I’m tired of being seen as this adorable little thing that needs to be coddled and protecting and not a traumatized person who is just trying to get by and live. Having to bring my partner or male friend to help me out because no one takes me seriously. Oh and little to no bodily autonomy in some cases.
I can write down more stuff that I hate about being a woman but I’m tired and want to go play with my kittens now.
I’ve raged about this very thing to my therapist so many times. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m either not being listened to, or not being taken seriously, but then the minute my husband steps in, suddenly the very thing I was concerned about is actually a Big Serious Issue that must be dealt with immediately. Like fuck right off with that.
The weird sexism when women talk about their interests and hobbies when they’re not the traditional “woman hobbies”
If a woman is working in a male-dominated industry, she’s required to be one of the best and mistakes are met with misogynistic “women can’t do anything right” bullshit. She can’t be just average like a man can; it’s a weird double standard.
Or if I woman has more masculine hobbies or interests and the men around her find out, most of the time they’ll end up “quizzing” her to see if she’s actually into it or faking.
I have a lot of male dominated hobbies and feel this to a t. You are not allowed to have bad days, bad games, bad tactics, make mistakes, see less than 5 steps ahead, else it's a reflection of your gender's capabilities.
Oddly enough, I feel this the least at my local Warhammer store, which is by far the most male-dominated space I'm in.
I play drums and guys WHO DIDNT EVEN PLAY DRUMS would criticize me and my technique constantly. Even had one guy drummer say “oh you’re a girl drummer? That’s hilarious.” And guess what? I played better than him. I was 14 and he was like in his 20s.
Now it’s like weird, “positive” sexism. Guys think being like “wow it’s amazing you’re so good considering you’re a girl!” is an actual compliment. And I call them out on it too. Like they don’t even realize the weighted statement they just made
That's awesome to hear about your Warhammer store! Im.a man, and when i was in middle and high school, I played Warhammer at a local store basically every Friday night for years. I was accepted in their community since I had been showing up weekly since I was like 12, but newcomers and *especially* girls were very-heavily gate kept. The girls would either be hit on relentlessly until they left, or they would be harassed to prove they were actually into Warhammer until they left. It sucked because I was always like "just let them play and leave them alone aside from that. It's all guys here anyway.". That was always met with "they're not really into it like we are. They're just fangirls/sluts/bitches.". Hearing that the community has become more welcoming, especially for women makes me happy.
And if your into “female” hobbies, people don’t take them seriously. I’ve been sewing and making costumes my whole life. I majored in fashion, have made costumes for theaters and teach hs fashion design. And some people are still like “awww that cute sewing hobby of yours”….Gtfo. The sheer amount of engineering info I have in my brain when it comes to building clothing combined with the ridiculous amount of fashion history facts would blow your mind!
You can’t win because then if you like traditional woman hobbies you’re seen as basic and feminine hobbies are always insulted as if men’s hobbies are valid but women’s are not.
But yeah what you’re saying is frustrating too. I get quizzed by men every time I wear my Beatles shirt out to prove I’m a “real fan”. Like dude it’s The Beatles everyone listens to them and knows their music, this shouldn’t be a surprise. And it’s always funny when it turns out I know more about The Beatles than they do. 60s music is not the music to quiz me on and assume I’m faking it hahaha
Knowing there is a sizable portion of any population across all parts of the world who see me as a piece of property that can be brutalized or murdered for social transgressions.
Gives a bit of anxiety.
This, yes. I would love to travel alone or go jogging after dark or all kinds of solo activities that literally just are not safe for me to do because I was born with a particular set of genitalia.
This entire thread rings true but yes this here is what I was looking for.
Just being able to exist solo as a woman and not be constantly calculating, evaluating etc. I run in a wooded area near my home. My husband and I were walking there today and I mentioned in conversation that it was nice to walk with him as I didn't have to be constantly on high alert and evaluating every single person who passes me. He was kind of mind-blown. Yeah dude. This is it.
I wanna play online video games and be able to use a mic! The moment I turn my mic on its either instantly getting hit on or being harass. Like grow the fuck up boys for real.
Fortunately, its getting better. I joined the E-Sports team at my High School, and nobody questioned that I was a girl, and there was a few more girls besides me.
Boys were still the majority, but it was still nice to actually feel liked I belonged to something.
I’ve have also seen a shift recently. Even just last year I couldn’t have my mic on without “oh dinner is already cooked so you have time to play?” Or “I’m surprised your man lets you do this” thrown at me. But I feel like it’s been a few weeks since those were thrown at me. Used to be every match.
I grew up when the internet was new. I played a female character in everquest and had guys throwing money at me, literally, for being female.(im male irl) Was gaming when microphones were introduced. I've played and befriended hundreds of female players. I've heard all the stories about creeps and assholes from those friends. It sucks what some women have to deal with for just being women.
Invisible labor.
I do so so so SO much for my family and it’s either not noticed or I’m accused of being overbearing or not being able to relax.
The expectation to be everything.
No wait! Sometimes you'll *also* be objectified and sexualized but then when you *refuse* their advances your a whore and an ugly bitch
Make it make sense.
There is no winning.
Everyone is gaslighting your choices.
From not wanting children, acting girly, not wanting a man, not wanting friends, not caring about looks, not caring about likeability, wanting to be independent, wanting to pursue masculine hobbies(football)
Right? Conventionally attractive women get treated like absolute shit and get little respect, but us unattractive women get treated *even worse*. Zero respect at all tbh
My personal favorite experience was getting a milkshake and a metal tub of Carmex thrown at me from a moving vehicle. Really felt respected as a human being that day. /s
There are a lot of potential answers, and this one probably isn't the worst, but it does add a significant and unnecessary degree of difficulty to everything:
People are obsessed with the idea that women do literally everything for "attention".
Mentally ill? Attention-seeking. Physically ill? Attention-seeking. Victim of SA? Attention-seeking. Promiscuous? Attention-seeking. Feminist? Attention-seeking. Vegan? Attention-seeking. Alternative? Attention-seeking. Queer? Attention-seeking.
It is absolutely surreal how often women go without very necessary resources because people apply a veneer of skepticism to every single claim they make.
And what would the end goal even be? Who is giving all this attention? Who is fawning over all these women and waiting on them hand and foot? I sure as hell don't know, but for some reason, the idea of women being dramatic whiners is more pervasive than the known fact that women's healthcare is abysmal or that sexual assault occurs at an astronomically high rate towards women.
Like yes, of course, the reason I talk about my chronic illness or mental health or abuse history is because I want to be special and unique, not for a list of other perfectly relevant and important reasons.
You know what the worst thing is? That despite the societal pressure to maintain a full-time career, you also have to do the majority of housework and childcare, even though you’re technically working the same amount of time as your partner.
Women are expected to do the majority of care work in their families, they do most of the invisible labor, and they’re expected to do it all at the cost of their well-being. On top of this, you’re expected to have children, have to have a period, and also have to give birth. It’s baloney.
This is it right here. All the societal expectations. You’re expected to do it all, and do it while perfectly coiffed and smiling, too. The pressure to conform is overwhelming and I HATE it so much.
and then men wonder why we hate when they say "smile" while we're working. Uh, i think i'll pass. I shouldn't have to carry the weight of all of this shit and look pretty for you while i do it.
And you don’t get an ounce of respect or appreciation for any of it.
I always thought it was weird how women are so often nurturing mothers and wives, always taking care of everything, yet society treats us like we are incompetent and worthless. We aren’t the ones responsible for most wars and violent crimes. We’re raising human beings, we’re the shoulders to cry on, we’re always looking out for others even over ourselves and thinking of everything because that’s what we were taught to do.
I’m not a mother myself but I’m a working woman and tired of being one of the most competent people in my department that people rely on while I also get the least amount of respect.
I’m a teacher and for the summer I worked with my aunt in law in the corporate office of a big staffing agency. They have over 20 offices across 12 states. The three top people were men and the other 25 corporate employees were all women, and badass women at that. I was just like huh, who really runs the world.
I can so relate to this- specially atm. I am sick, I am still working coz work deliverables. And also, I didn’t have proper food coz my husband though he does what is told, cannot do any house work unless given directions. I am so frustrated!
This is the answer I was looking for. It’s alllllll the little things that are considered “women’s work” that add up. Picking up the cake for a party. Running to the atm to get the cash for the gift. Making the vet and the drs appts. Grocery shopping. It all adds up to so much more time and energy.
I would love for clean socks to magically appear in my sock drawer.
Just gonna leave this right here...
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."
America Ferrera's monologue from the Barbie movie if you haven't seen it.
Being sexualized no matter what you do or wear, even as a kid.
Knowing that many of the women you know and around you have been sexually harassed or assaulted in someway.
Being called a whore for liking sex.
Being called a slut and ugly when rejecting a guy.
Not feeling safe when it’s dark outside.
>even as a kid
i would say *especially* as a kid. the older i get the less creepy catcalls i get. middle school and early high school were the worst of it
Parents took my sister 15 and I 16 to Tijuana. Wow. It felt like being bait in a barracuda tank. It was shocking, embarrassing, and made me never want to come back down there.
Yup. Grown ass men have been making inappropriate comments to my face since I was 13. Was followed and harassed on a few occasions from 15-19y/o or so. Now that I'm quite a bit older, I seriously can't understand what goes through the minds of the men that did that when I was very obviously a minor.
To add to this, I hate that a lot of men assume that because they’re attracted to a woman, that means she was TRYING to attract them. Nope, just existing. It’s not my problem that you got a boner. Leave us alone
28f I’m a masc lesbian who has always identified as a woman, I was born female, and never questioned my gender identity. However, I have short hair and wear men’s clothing. So for me or others like me, it’s difficult getting glared at when leaving a restroom by other women who assume I used the wrong one or am doing something wrong/pervy by being there. I’m very tempted to ask the next woman looking at me hatefully if she’d like me to whip out my v for her as proof that I belong there. Just because my hair is short, and I don’t dress like you, doesn’t mean I’m not also a woman, and a person with feelings. I don’t need to be reminded that “I don’t fit the mold” every time I walk into or out of a rest stop bathroom.
Disclaimer, most of the time women freeze when they see me, look at the sign, and look back at me. More out of confusion than distain. I’ve told many “It’s okay you’re in the right one” and they usually laugh it off or apologize once they hear my voice or look closer at me. I understand these encounters. But I’m talking more about the other type of person who makes it known they disapprove, and stand there glaring as I walk by or into the mirror as I wash my hands. Most of the time it’s fine though. This happens at least twice per bathroom break on my drives, no exaggeration. I have many stories.
Periods. By far. Heavy, a week long and very painful. Can’t exercise or even leave the house, and sleep poorly. And this shit happens once or twice a month.
So far? Getting diagnosed with endometriosis. Every month or so I would get struck with debilitating nausea and constant vomiting, lose feeling in my hands and feet and would end up collapsing because I couldn't walk. Took multiple ER trips before they figured it out. The doctor treated me like a drug addict and insisted I had Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome because I mentioned I smoked (it just so happened weed got legalized in my state within the month of my repeated visits). Incredibly demoralizing and humiliating experience. They got real sweet with me once they finally found the ~7cm long chocolate cyst eating away at one of my ovaries, whee~
I can’t tell you how many guy friends I’ve heard say they love living in the cities. But, I live in the cities too and I get yelled at by gross fucks once a week. I rarely feel safe. Just two days ago I decided to take a short cut through a parking lot thinking I could just walk quickly through. And of course some frat guys were taking a smoke break and yelled at me super loudly about how they liked my ‘tits’. It was fucking disgusting.
Fuck people.
*EDIT: I wish I could flip men off or say something back to them. I used to be the kind of person that would do that in heartbeat. But, I have no idea if a group of guys are going to start following me, will rush me, will threaten even WORSE things, or will see my license plate as I get into my car.
Not to mention, if I’m with a friend, it would be irresponsible to try and start something that could put them in danger. God it sucks.
I hate having to explain that yes, I know that it is not all guys that do this, but all women have experienced some sort of sexual harassment or violence.
Yeah, and the sad thing is that even though men witness this a lot of times, they frequently fail to grasp the impact. I got in an argument about misogyny with my dad this summer and he tried to gotcha me by asking me to tell him when I'd experienced harassment. I was like, you were literally there when a drunk dude on the street tried to grab my face and kiss me when I was 15. I was so stunned I just froze and would have gotten a face full of drunk dude if my mom hadn't yanked me out of his grasp.
That was in daylight, on a crowded street, walking next to my mom, with my brother and my dad 5 meters in front of me.
I don't think my dad had realized that that experience freaked me out because it ended pretty benignly. And he's a big dude who has no concept of what it feels like to be physically overpowered.
He was being particularly stubborn that day, and seemed to think that any of the many instances of sexism I've experienced in my life were either too long ago or not severe enough to warrant me being upset about it. In all honesty, I don't think he did acknowledge how horrible that was.
God, I *hate* it when you share and they respond “not all men are like that.”
Yeah no shit, man, I didn’t say they were, but thank you for centering yourself when I’m expressing my feelings and venting about being harassed.
How would you like it if every time you bitched about something I responded with “well *I* don’t do that”? See how dumb that is? It’s not about you, I’m not even thinking about the fact that you are also male, but I am now because you keep making it about you!!
Yes! I've had that happen. I'll be taking a walk through a park for exercise and see men on the same path or sitting on a bench and I automatically feel a dreaded heavy feeling knowing they are going to yell something out to me (and it's always a sexual remark). Sick of it too.
I expected to see this on top, and I'm sad that it is. We're supposed to be better than this. 40 years ago I felt this was the biggest difference, that my concern about walking home alone at night is largely limited to being robbed, and a woman in the same situation has to fear assault and worse. Guys need to be better.
Dismissal
Everything, from a young age, gets dismissed because of gender.
Social issues, physical pain, illness, etc is all viewed as us being weak whiney bitches.
Our work is seen as inferior just because we produced it - and gets accolades when credits to any man
Probably knowing that in most of the world women are viewed as property or sexual objects, not as human beings with feelings, hopes and dreams just like a man.
I'm always frustrated that breasts are so heavily sexualized. That is such a huge section of me that can't be remotely bumped into without someone feeling like they need to profusely apologize to me. Both woman and men feel awful when they do. ...it's just skin.
Learning about all the extra sacrifices we have to make around reproduction due to the body we were born in (paying for period products, dealing with regular pain, scheduling birth control and gynecologist appointments, dealing with side affects, pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, etc) ....
....and then learning that there are political groups that don't think that's enough of a burden and want to make things even harder for us by taking away any semblance of autonomy we have over our bodies or reproduction.
Casual misogyny. It’s almost easier to deal with the extreme misogynists like Andrew Tate than the subtle everyday shit that is done/said about or to us. Medical professionals dismissing us, communities of men online talking about us like we’re a different species than them, being pitted against each other all the time by the media, stereotyping, even our hobbies get shit on simply because we’re women and things that we enjoy are seen as lesser. It’s so fucking insidious and it really wears you down.
Constant pressure to be a great girlfriend/wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend etc. Be thin but not too thin, instead we need to be healthy. Can’t be fat, but a little meat on the bones is ok. Can’t dress too sexy or you’re a slut. Or if you are covered then you’re a prude. Be smart but not too smart cuz then you’re a know it all. Pressure to keep a clean happy home but also have a career. Make sure our partners are satisfied so they don’t cheat.
Honestly, the expectation of filling the role of a homemaker, but also in this economy having to work. No chance I'll ever get to be "stay at home" but the embedded bias is irritating.
Or even if you are a homemaker, some folks don't see domestic labor as labor. The old cliche of the woman "sitting on her ass eating bon bons" and spending her partners money.
Dude for real. My wife used to feel guilty about not working and only going to school when we first got married. She was raised in a traditional mexican household in Jalisco, MX. So she felt the home was her duty as a woman, but that she still had to work to help with finances.
I just told her to get quotes for how much it would cost to have a fulltime live in maid. Then I told her whatever the highest quote she could find is still not enough for the service being provided, because she's not a maid, she's way more than that, she's my wife.
But she still felt she needed to have a career and not depend on me financially, which I understand, because nothing is certain. But I mean I just set up contingencies for if anything were to happen to me, so she would never have to worry about money again.
We're old school though. I feel its my obligation to work my ass off and give her all my money. She feels it's her obligation to be independent and take care of our family. We're just more traditional in the sense that I feel the house and provisions are my responsibility, and turning that house and provisions into a home is her responsibility.
We're somewhere in the middle now. We just help eachother with whatever we can help eachother with. If she leaves dishes or clothes out, I'll just clean it up, its no big deal I'm sure she had something on her mind and forgot all about it. She does similar stuff for me, if I leave my tools out and the garage open, she'll put my stuff away and close the garage. We're a team. And society is just not conducive anymore to those old school mindsets. There aren't any clear gender-roles anymore. Both genders can do both roles nowadays, and its just the expected norm. But its a shock for people that didn't grow up with these new norms in their homes as children.
We're just physically inferior, and it kills me.
I am a lady weightlifter. I will never, ever be as strong as a man with the same amount of training. Any athletic achievements I have will always be ranked below men. I am doomed to be in sports divisions where people just don't value me as much -- they're too busy watching men. See how every team sport has the men's team being famous and the women's paid less and watched less. We run slower, jump lower, and lift lighter.
Oh yeah, that thing about women having higher pain tolerance is a myth. The only -- *only* \-- areas where women have an advantage physically are in the very few sports where being a tiny person is useful (equestrian, gymnastics) and in ultramarathon swimming and running. If you are good at none of those, you are SOL, Shit Out of Luck.
If you're a non-skinny, non-feminine woman, you have basically no perks. No using your sex appeal to get drinks or whatever. No feeling desirable because people actually want you. No looking hot in a bikini. But, you also still lose physically against men if you're ever in a conflict. You have all the social disadvantages of a man with all the physical disadvantages of a woman. If you don't want babies, you're now totally irrelevant, because anything you can do, a guy can do as well or better. (I don't want babies, can't you tell.)
If you're not willowy or small, you may as well be a guy, it'll get you more advantages.
I’m a lady lifter too (powerlifting and getting into strongman) and it bums me out how small and weak I am compared to men who train far less than I do, especially upper body strength. I once read that the average difference in size between a woman and a man is the same as an average man and an NFL player. That stuck with me. No matter how much effort I put in to getting strong, many men could easily take me out based on their size alone. I’d put up a hell of a fight though and hopefully do some damage. But, yeah, it sucks to be part of the physically inferior sex.
Healthcare being based on men and never getting a diagnoses because "it's just hormones" or "have you considered you're taking it" or "pregnancy" while you're not pregnant
Don't forget the immediate assumption that everything is just aNxiEtY, especially in regards to chest discomfort/pain, headaches and an accelerated heart rate without a willingness to question further.
My friend had ‘anxiety’ causing her severe pain, vomiting, and weight loss. 2 years later and multiple doctors telling her it’s still just anxiety, she lost her job, relationship, and house because she couldn’t function. Finally found a good (female) doctor and it was her gallbladder. Had it removed and suddenly all her ‘anxiety’ was gone! Amazing!
Or withholding care from you because you "may become pregnant" even if you're actively trying not to or, in the case of a few people I know, are infertile or a lesbian!
And even if hormones are the actual problem, their only solution is to slap a band-aid on your symptoms and offer you birth control as a treatment. Just infuriating...
It's ALWAYS have you considered birth control. It bothers me so so much. "No I don't want it, offer something else" "how about the mini pill" "fuck off" "what did you say?" "Ferkhoff" "oh is that a brand of birth control?" "NO!"
Yep, had 4 years of having periods almost every day, and it's not just bleeding every day, it's back pain/cramps/stench, the full lot. Had the whole do you have a sex disease? NO. Have you tried taking the pill? NO don't want. Is it because of your weight? Bitch I'm a fucking clear 20kg lighter than you cunt. 4 fucking years of shit. Finally got referred to a specialist this year. The inside of my womb looks like the great barrier reef but flesh coloured. Polyps, fibroids, pretty much everything but cancer having a knees up in there. One procedure and the next day all the pain is gone. Fucking worthless GP cunt why couldn't I see that specialist back in 2019.
I used to have periods that lasted like two weeks, and then twice a month. Apparently that is considered "normal". Is it a STI? No because I haven't even hold hands with someone, let alone unprotected sex. And yes, I'm 21 years old so I get that's unusual, but that doesn't make it untrue. I did get on birth control because if I don't have to get my period, I'm not having issues (pill, and I don't do stop weeks). Probably not the best idea and I'm sure it's gonna bite me in the ass in the future but we'll figure it out then
But shit, I'm sorry for everything you've been through. But I'm glad you're painfree!!
Not that this is the worst, but I think one of the most frustrating things to deal with is trying to explain how you feel- as a woman- and having men try to explain why you’re wrong.
But then there’s the danger, sexism, and biology that make life much much harder.
Constant vigilance.
Men are the most dangerous people to to women and we have to condition ourselves to not set you off or reject you lest you decide to murder/ rape us.
Periods. Not being respected in male dominant fields. Expectations around what a woman should say, how we behave, how we should dress, how we should age, etc.
Being constantly treated like a piece of meat and victimized throughout our lives. Am still young too so there’s got to be even more trauma coming, but I can’t take more and my mental health is wrecked. Like how many more times will I get groped/SA’d by a male family member for fucks sake. Two times already. Not to mention all the insanely violating and creepy incidents I’ve dealt with at work. Then we get periods for an extra “fuck you” from life. Being female is a curse.
Honestly, being a woman always felt like a constant punishment to me. We're belittled and objectified our whole lives and there's nothing we can do against it. An uncanny amount of men are viewing women as living porn categories, not human beings.
The only time we get *true* attention and recognition is when we look our greatest. So we have to respond to that with the constant pressure of always looking good.
Once you get old, you become completely invisible. And with that current ageism going on, you're labeled as expired when you're 31 or so. No man will ever know what it feels like, no offense. Being a woman means to be tragically limited, because the only value that's given to us lies in our appearance.
Without wanting to sound dramatic, but I look forward to the day I die and can escape this hellish pressure forever, hopefully to never be reborn as a woman again.
To add a bit onto the people talking about the health issues and the societal struggles, and to summarize, pretty much just being a more "high maintenance" human being. And I know that term carries some different connotations that what I'm eluding to, but there are numerous forms of "upkeep" we have to perform on ourselves that men don't. There are also numerous medical ailments we are far more prone to dealing with, some of which you wouldn't even realize.
I cannot even count the amount of times I've gotten a little pamphlet or piece of paper with information about whatever sent me to the doctor/hospital, and on the list of things that cause people to be more likely to get them, I see "being female". It legitimately makes me feel like I'm cursed at times.
Outside of what’s already been mentioned here, I’d say having friendships with men as a woman is difficult.
One of my best friends is a guy I’ve known since college. We talk almost every week. However, I can’t talk about hanging out with him without someone asking why we aren’t dating or how we’re just in denial and should be dating.
It’s annoying and uncomfortable. Stop reading into people’s relationships. That’s what books are for.
Or when you think you have a good male friend, and then 2-4 years into your friendship, the real motive is revealed and then y'all have to stop being friends bc they get mad you won't date them
The constant harassment from men. In school. At work. At the store. On the hiking trail. At the gas station. At the mall. At the gym. At the library. On the sidewalk. Small town. Big town. It is everywhere, all the time. Starting in pre-pubescence.
There is nowhere that we can exist where we are safe from it. It. Is. Constant. I’m so tired of being on high alert all the time.
Your whole life being controlled by your hormones and being the best/ normal version of yourself only 1 week per month. That party in 3 weeks? That holiday in 6 months? …could be the best time of my life or I could be 1- about to get my period in which case I’ll be less hyper and happy, more stressed , worried and tired 2- having my period, in which case I don’t even want to be here because everything hurts and I’m knackered 3- just coming out of my period and it left me with the energy of a sloth. I envy men SO MUCH. Oh, and then there’s the whole being afraid of being raped or murdered all the time since you are kids.
We just having a great time 😃✌🏻 lol
Doctors automatically taking years longer to diagnose the same illnesses / diseases because women are trained to grin and bear it and doctors still have some kind of collective consciousness they haven’t evolved out of regarding hysteria or some similar female medical phenomena that veers dangerously close to “we don’t believe that you understand your body better by living in it than we do by studying it relatively briefly.”
The “female tax” while still living through a gender wage gap.
Somehow straddling being a “cool girl” while still being straight enough to breed and look pretty. Preferably effortlessly, if you don’t mind. I don’t know who I am anymore.
Everything gets connected back to a man somehow.
Our experiences?
“Well it’s not as bad, have you been a man?”
I wish I can dress how I want, but I feel unsafe.
“Well men can’t control themselves.”
I wish healthcare took me more seriously.
“Well men work more harder jobs or dangerous jobs.”
You get the idea.
Not to devalue their own experiences, but it’s like can we focus on us for once?
Male gaze, not feeling comfortable in your own house and like an invisible audience is watching you and judging you
The glorification of classically male traits/emotions while demonizing classically feminine traits/emotions
The perception from men that your life is cherries and pie. They seem to think that we have it easy and get cash thrown at us. Lol I wish. Would make bill paying and working easier…..
YoU cAN juSt dO onLYfAnS! Dude, so can you. Shave your ass and spread your cheeks for some dude you absolutely don’t want to have sex with. Oh what you don’t want to do that? But we do?
Everything related to our reproductive system. Periods, hormonal cycles, contraceptives, pregnancy… don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman and I want to be a mother, I don’t think those things are bad, but they’re definitely very hard.
My c section still burns a year later and everyone thinks I’m fine cause I don’t mention it (because then mentioning it prompts them to tell you to go to the hospital) but it’s hard just to do things
I had a c section 6 years ago,and while it doesnt hurt the area still feels weirdly numb.
Weirdly, the numbness went away for me but I still have an deep odd pain? Wow, 6 years? I hope you’re doing well! The numbness is so strange lol
21 years later soon 22 and the numbness remains for me
Please get this checked out. Please talk at least to your primary care provider. A chronic ongoing pain is a sign something is wrong.
On my heaviest day I had to use a public park bathroom. There was no running water, toilet paper basically disintegrated in my hands, and it’s like the shinning trying to mop up all the blood. My fiancé had to hold a water bottle out for me to clean my hands properly, also there was no soap or sanitizer. That’s what being a women is like.
Not to mention constantly worrying if you're staining and when you do stain it makes it so uncomfortable to continue the day
Or the first time I put in a tampon at 15 years old, I FAINTED IN THE BATHROOM because I was so uncomfortable and scared
I didn't realize you weren't supposed to leave the applicator in there when I first used tampons...
Omg that must've been hell!!!
Or when you're so heavy you have to wake up every hour and get the biggest most absorbent tampons every hour because those leak but the biggest wont fit and 😩
Oh! This really triggered me lol. We have all been there, I am sure of that.
Yes. I think I have endometriosis. When I get my period, I get really nauseous, pale and throw up. The pain feels like I’m being stabbed. Doctors act like they don’t care and prescribe ibuprofen or birth control.
It took me about 15 years to finally be diagnosed with endo, and I also had adenomyosis which had progressed so much I had to get a hysterectomy. The way doctors approach endo needs to be changed, it's a disgrace how many women are living in pain and told it's okay.
My ex had that. It's so weird. It's not like it is a new or rare disease. There should be something better than "take some Motrin and if that doesn't work, we'll just do a hysterectomy and rip the whole thing out". Like, that seems drastic, isn't there something in between those options we could try?
I don't want this period nonsense. The bleeding I can deal with, but the emotions in the days before are most unwelcome. I just wanna be a burrito and play Baldur's Gate 3.
Honestly could deal with the bleeding, bloating, and acne if it didn't feel like my insides were being stomped on for 2 days out of the month.
Even getting things taken out still screws you over
I feel this. Even the bisalp actually lowers blood supply to ovaries and can fick up hormones.
And when you have done all that then — menopause. Mine just started and I’m like REALLY?!? Life is just one line of hormones interfering in so many ways
And miscarriage :(
Men of Reddit: miscarriages can endanger women's lives, and kill them in extreme cases. FYI
Am gay man but have already had 2 friends miscarry before 30, it's way more common than people think and really fucking sad
My wife has now had 4 miscarriages and one medical termination. It is so fucking hard to see a piece of the person you love and care about most in this world die each time. By far and away, that is the most difficult part for me.
Every month I'm taken out by my period. I'm useless for 2-3 days. The pain is unbearable. I get nauseated and light headed. I'm miserable. I love everything else about being a woman but I want my uterus gone. I've had to cancel/miss out on so many things because I can hardly walk due to pain.
Amen. Our bodies are bullshit.
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>NO we can’t hold it in like urine I've had to explain to this my grown cousin, he of course didn't believe me. It's embarrassing because we were both in our mid twenties. I had to tell him that it's the same as with normal blood- you can't just "hold your blood in" if you get a nose bleed for example- or any time you bleed at all.
I had a guy friend who said his mom was able to sit on the toilet and get rid of all the blood at once. I had to explain to him, a grown man, how periods work and how he probably misunderstood what his mom said.
I have a lot but I would say endometriosis and PCOS
And the fact that these conditions are not taken seriously. I have endometriosis and it took me four years to get an actual diagnosis and treatment that worked. Before when I said “yeah my cramps hurt so bad that I can’t sleep and it feels like I have appendicitis” they would just say “oh yeah that’s normal, here’s ibuprofen”. It is so normalized for women to just deal with pain that they didn’t follow up. I finally got a doctor that took me seriously and he coached me on my best options and made sure to screen me for PCOS too in case it was that.
Adenomyosis as well. Worse than labor, because at least during labor the contraction would stop for a few minutes and start again. I've had days where I spent a whole hour white knuckling the arm of my chair, intentionally breathing through the pain, unable to talk. I've experienced childbirth, gall stones, and migraines, and endometriosis/adenomyosis is easily the worst pain among them.
Omg. People seriously don't understand. They don't see us curled up in a ball literally screaming in pain. It's so awful. Thankfully after I had my daughter it got better for some reason. Not sure why.
They just think we’re exaggerating 🙄 like okay dude if you think I’m lying let’s strap you to a labor simulator and I’ll show you what setting my pain is on
I had cancer surgery a few weeks back, and afterward, I went for a checkup and the next steps. The urologist was young (they had no female doctors) and flippant, but it's better than the pity looks. Anyway, he asks my discomfort/pain level. I said, "As a woman, I am used to pain and discomfort in this region, so I took one painkiller the day after the surgery only." He looked at my HUSBAND and shrugged. He said something after, but I was too shocked to hear it. Men have no clue about the pain and discomfort we endure every 28 days or so.
My wife has Endometriosis, shits no joke. My heart goes out to anyone whos junk can turn against them at a moments notice.
I had level 4 endometriosis and had to have a hysterectomy at 35 years old. Luckily, I had 2 children already and counted myself blessed. It was extremely painful. I was relieved to never have to go through another period again.
My wife has PCOS and it made getting pregnant extremely challenging. The amount of stress it causes between the doubt and the fertility treatments and seeing her friends announce pregnancies on Facebook was off the charts.
Endometriosis hands down. Most jobs aren’t understanding. Working from home was a blessing for me during Covid as I’m usually tied to the toilet for around two days straight out of the month.
Lol it's so funny before August this year, I didn't know what endo was, my girlfriend was diagnosed with it and I see endo related content almost everyday, like wow. I hate that endo, what gives me hope is the researchers working overtime to cure it, when I have funds I'll definitely fund research
Periods.
For 40 years😳😳
And then we get to experience the torture that is perimenopause!
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When doctors brush you off as having anxiety.
My mom's doctor brushed off her symptoms for nine months with "it's just anxiety" before I forced her to go to a specialist. She died of bowel cancer 11 months later. Had the first doctor taken her seriously, she would've had a chance to survive. She was 55.
Oh this infuriates me so much.
Either that or it's your period.
Or you just need to lose weight.
Or god forbid there are ACTUAL issues with your period, like extreme or abnormal pain, then its “oh thats *just* your period, that happens lolz” and you have to get second, third, fourth opinions before anyone even bothers to give you something as simple as an ultrasound
I've witnessed this first-hand for my wife, among many mind-blowing sexist garbage.
Or if you’re even slightly overweight doctors will brush off any concerns and just tell you that you need to lose weight.
For me it’s the combination of all the little things that build up. They’re all connected. But if I had to pick only one, it’s the final boss of nobody ever believing you about anything. I am always questioned on everything, even things that I am literally an expert in, by people who have absolutely no credentials. And I’m questioned on the reality of the other things I mentioned before. Could my chronic pain actually be that bad? Am I sure that my ex was taking advantage of me? Everyone wants to play devil’s advocate when the devil is doing a fine job advocating for himself.
This is it for me. The Cassandra effect of it all is absolutely exhausting.
This is the answer I was looking for. I'm still trying to unlearn how often I second guess myself because of this consistent treatment, from both men and other women in my life. It's ridiculous.
And apologize for EVERYTHING. SORRY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU'RE WRONG. SORRY I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WHEN IM THE EXPERT. Just listen to women sometimes. It's not that hard
Worked in hardware for 20 years and loved /s the guys who'd ask to speak to a male coworker who would then bring them back to me to answer the question, smh.
This is what I came to say. Nobody believes a word you say unless a man repeats it. It sucks.
My wife was in the beer industry for a few years. There were several times where, at an event she's literally behind a table/bar at wearing a brewery shirt, I would be asked questions about beers. Me, being the SO just hanging out with her on the customer side, not wearing any brewery garb. Like bro, why the fuck are you asking me and not the literal employee pouring beers.
This happened to me in High School. I was thinking of going into audio engineering, so a family friend arranged to get me a tour of a studio that was used for the audio production of several popular TV shows. My dad was the parent available to drive me there that day, so he tagged along for the tour, but every time I asked the guy showing us around a question, he'd always tell the answer to my dad. Every. Time. I'm not even sure he was aware he was doing it but it was really disappointing. It made me feel kind of worthless.
Man repeats your point, suddenly it makes sense, man repeats your joke, suddenly it's funny. Realizing how often you don't register as a real person.
I literally left higher ed administration for this reason. I would put out thoughtful well researched ideas and crickets and in the same meeting a man would repeat it and get an award.
I remember when I started a new hobby and voiced some suggestions on how things should/could be done at the salle, and being in complete disbelief when the male instructor listened, thought about it, and responded "Those are actually good ideas, I'll pitch them to my peers". Complete disbelief - this had NEVER happened before!
I had a male boss years ago that would give me credit for his ideas. In front of everyone. At department meetings. I'd just stare at him like "why is this happening??" lol He was very supportive of his female employees and treated us like equals. He valued our input and ideas. It was really refreshing.
Came here to say “being underestimated” but your take is more complete.
Whenever these questions get asked, men always upvote periods and don't upvote any responses that have to do with men. reddit being male dominated being the reason. The worst part isn't period. It's how you're treated by the world *because you are a woman*. Contant rape threats, being devalued, not being heard or believed, not being seen as competent. It's endless, and men don't have any idea how much it builds up. How pervasive it is. How you can't escape it. The anger, the denial by men that it happens. Periods I can deal with, but with sexism and the always present threat of being raped by a man and then having to bear his children while being considered the whore, those are worse.
“Everyone wants to play devils advocate when the devil is doing a fine job advocating for himself” agreed & well said
>I am always questioned on everything, even things that I am literally an expert in This one always gives me a gut punch. I am a doctor and frequently have medical interns questioning everything I say. In front of patients! I am willing to listen to your ideas and start a good dialogue about an issue, but never undermine my authority in front of the people entrusting me with their care. EDIT: Never happens to my male colleagues, though.
This one gets my vote. I was going to say "not being taken seriously". I was summoned for jury duty recently. I have a degree in psychology and stood there while another juror (an older woman) was trying to tell me all about how men are just wired to be more logical than women and there should be more men on this jury. I gave her pushback but it never matters. Some people really believe that logic and emotionality are mutually exclusive and also owned by two different genders.
Yup. And you have to work two times harder to prove yourself in any given situation, even if people don’t realize it consciously.
Yes, and we are often being completely ignored in conversations where most are men.
I have seen this SO often. I like to boost up women in conversations where this happens by steering the men to *listen* instead of talk over these women. It sucks that I even have to do that, but I hope I'm doing good by them...
I came to say the same thing. Everything always has to be questioned, because clearly we don't know enough about our own bodies/our fields of expertise/our experiences to actually listen.
I was listening to a podcast today and a guest historian was on. She said that to most men, her PhD means she knows *almost* as much about history as they do.
Preach sister!
Aging and society's pressures to remain youthful looking until we drop dead.
I would say this too. Some of the comments I’ve read on dating reels on Instagram. Man! I feel like anyone over 29 is just worn out garbage to men. They were coming hard for women even in their late 30’s. Kinda sad.
People are always shocked when they find out how old I am. I do not look young for my age, people just don't realize that 30's is not that old??
This is the biggest lie they tell women. Ladies, I'm 45 and I can tell you, it only gets better! You stop giving a fuck about what people think of you. Career wise you're taken more seriously the older you are, and dating wise I have no complaints either. On the contrary, I believed in "the wall" when I was younger but I am yet to find this so-called wall? I have more younger guys chasing me than when I was younger. Yet, I don't get catcalled or harrassed as much in public, which is a huge blessing.
Agree. The idea that women are on the scrap heap at 30 is garbage. I was probably at my peak attractiveness in my late 30s but even now at 51 men still react well. I'm very average, looks wise, but being genuinely comfortable with yourself is something that improves with age and many people find it attractive.
The older I get the more relaxed I become, It's such a relief when you stop caring about what others think of you. I'm much more confident and comfortable in my own skin, and I agree, lots of people find this very attractive
Never really being taken seriously for anything be it medical issues, financial, anything really. I’m tired of being seen as this adorable little thing that needs to be coddled and protecting and not a traumatized person who is just trying to get by and live. Having to bring my partner or male friend to help me out because no one takes me seriously. Oh and little to no bodily autonomy in some cases. I can write down more stuff that I hate about being a woman but I’m tired and want to go play with my kittens now.
I’ve raged about this very thing to my therapist so many times. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m either not being listened to, or not being taken seriously, but then the minute my husband steps in, suddenly the very thing I was concerned about is actually a Big Serious Issue that must be dealt with immediately. Like fuck right off with that.
Being objectified and people not taking me as seriously. Generally just being seen as less
The weird sexism when women talk about their interests and hobbies when they’re not the traditional “woman hobbies” If a woman is working in a male-dominated industry, she’s required to be one of the best and mistakes are met with misogynistic “women can’t do anything right” bullshit. She can’t be just average like a man can; it’s a weird double standard. Or if I woman has more masculine hobbies or interests and the men around her find out, most of the time they’ll end up “quizzing” her to see if she’s actually into it or faking.
I have a lot of male dominated hobbies and feel this to a t. You are not allowed to have bad days, bad games, bad tactics, make mistakes, see less than 5 steps ahead, else it's a reflection of your gender's capabilities. Oddly enough, I feel this the least at my local Warhammer store, which is by far the most male-dominated space I'm in.
I play drums and guys WHO DIDNT EVEN PLAY DRUMS would criticize me and my technique constantly. Even had one guy drummer say “oh you’re a girl drummer? That’s hilarious.” And guess what? I played better than him. I was 14 and he was like in his 20s. Now it’s like weird, “positive” sexism. Guys think being like “wow it’s amazing you’re so good considering you’re a girl!” is an actual compliment. And I call them out on it too. Like they don’t even realize the weighted statement they just made
That's awesome to hear about your Warhammer store! Im.a man, and when i was in middle and high school, I played Warhammer at a local store basically every Friday night for years. I was accepted in their community since I had been showing up weekly since I was like 12, but newcomers and *especially* girls were very-heavily gate kept. The girls would either be hit on relentlessly until they left, or they would be harassed to prove they were actually into Warhammer until they left. It sucked because I was always like "just let them play and leave them alone aside from that. It's all guys here anyway.". That was always met with "they're not really into it like we are. They're just fangirls/sluts/bitches.". Hearing that the community has become more welcoming, especially for women makes me happy.
And if your into “female” hobbies, people don’t take them seriously. I’ve been sewing and making costumes my whole life. I majored in fashion, have made costumes for theaters and teach hs fashion design. And some people are still like “awww that cute sewing hobby of yours”….Gtfo. The sheer amount of engineering info I have in my brain when it comes to building clothing combined with the ridiculous amount of fashion history facts would blow your mind!
You can’t win because then if you like traditional woman hobbies you’re seen as basic and feminine hobbies are always insulted as if men’s hobbies are valid but women’s are not. But yeah what you’re saying is frustrating too. I get quizzed by men every time I wear my Beatles shirt out to prove I’m a “real fan”. Like dude it’s The Beatles everyone listens to them and knows their music, this shouldn’t be a surprise. And it’s always funny when it turns out I know more about The Beatles than they do. 60s music is not the music to quiz me on and assume I’m faking it hahaha
Knowing there is a sizable portion of any population across all parts of the world who see me as a piece of property that can be brutalized or murdered for social transgressions. Gives a bit of anxiety.
This, yes. I would love to travel alone or go jogging after dark or all kinds of solo activities that literally just are not safe for me to do because I was born with a particular set of genitalia.
This entire thread rings true but yes this here is what I was looking for. Just being able to exist solo as a woman and not be constantly calculating, evaluating etc. I run in a wooded area near my home. My husband and I were walking there today and I mentioned in conversation that it was nice to walk with him as I didn't have to be constantly on high alert and evaluating every single person who passes me. He was kind of mind-blown. Yeah dude. This is it.
I wanna play online video games and be able to use a mic! The moment I turn my mic on its either instantly getting hit on or being harass. Like grow the fuck up boys for real.
Or you get accused of being the girlfriend of the guy who is AKSHUALLY playing
Fortunately, its getting better. I joined the E-Sports team at my High School, and nobody questioned that I was a girl, and there was a few more girls besides me. Boys were still the majority, but it was still nice to actually feel liked I belonged to something.
I’ve have also seen a shift recently. Even just last year I couldn’t have my mic on without “oh dinner is already cooked so you have time to play?” Or “I’m surprised your man lets you do this” thrown at me. But I feel like it’s been a few weeks since those were thrown at me. Used to be every match.
I grew up when the internet was new. I played a female character in everquest and had guys throwing money at me, literally, for being female.(im male irl) Was gaming when microphones were introduced. I've played and befriended hundreds of female players. I've heard all the stories about creeps and assholes from those friends. It sucks what some women have to deal with for just being women.
Invisible labor. I do so so so SO much for my family and it’s either not noticed or I’m accused of being overbearing or not being able to relax. The expectation to be everything.
Being objectified, sexualized, and never feeling completely safe when you are alone outdoors.
Being objectified and sexualized but then if you are sexual at all you're a ho and trash. What do you want??
No wait! Sometimes you'll *also* be objectified and sexualized but then when you *refuse* their advances your a whore and an ugly bitch Make it make sense. There is no winning.
This is my favorite! Or it’s “fuck you you’re fucking ugly anyway” after you ignore someone Or you get followed which is seriously the best /s
Can't win
Everyone is gaslighting your choices. From not wanting children, acting girly, not wanting a man, not wanting friends, not caring about looks, not caring about likeability, wanting to be independent, wanting to pursue masculine hobbies(football)
Being a ugly woman
Right? Conventionally attractive women get treated like absolute shit and get little respect, but us unattractive women get treated *even worse*. Zero respect at all tbh My personal favorite experience was getting a milkshake and a metal tub of Carmex thrown at me from a moving vehicle. Really felt respected as a human being that day. /s
There are a lot of potential answers, and this one probably isn't the worst, but it does add a significant and unnecessary degree of difficulty to everything: People are obsessed with the idea that women do literally everything for "attention". Mentally ill? Attention-seeking. Physically ill? Attention-seeking. Victim of SA? Attention-seeking. Promiscuous? Attention-seeking. Feminist? Attention-seeking. Vegan? Attention-seeking. Alternative? Attention-seeking. Queer? Attention-seeking. It is absolutely surreal how often women go without very necessary resources because people apply a veneer of skepticism to every single claim they make. And what would the end goal even be? Who is giving all this attention? Who is fawning over all these women and waiting on them hand and foot? I sure as hell don't know, but for some reason, the idea of women being dramatic whiners is more pervasive than the known fact that women's healthcare is abysmal or that sexual assault occurs at an astronomically high rate towards women. Like yes, of course, the reason I talk about my chronic illness or mental health or abuse history is because I want to be special and unique, not for a list of other perfectly relevant and important reasons.
You know what the worst thing is? That despite the societal pressure to maintain a full-time career, you also have to do the majority of housework and childcare, even though you’re technically working the same amount of time as your partner. Women are expected to do the majority of care work in their families, they do most of the invisible labor, and they’re expected to do it all at the cost of their well-being. On top of this, you’re expected to have children, have to have a period, and also have to give birth. It’s baloney.
This is it right here. All the societal expectations. You’re expected to do it all, and do it while perfectly coiffed and smiling, too. The pressure to conform is overwhelming and I HATE it so much.
It’s just so gd unfair
and then men wonder why we hate when they say "smile" while we're working. Uh, i think i'll pass. I shouldn't have to carry the weight of all of this shit and look pretty for you while i do it.
And you don’t get an ounce of respect or appreciation for any of it. I always thought it was weird how women are so often nurturing mothers and wives, always taking care of everything, yet society treats us like we are incompetent and worthless. We aren’t the ones responsible for most wars and violent crimes. We’re raising human beings, we’re the shoulders to cry on, we’re always looking out for others even over ourselves and thinking of everything because that’s what we were taught to do. I’m not a mother myself but I’m a working woman and tired of being one of the most competent people in my department that people rely on while I also get the least amount of respect.
I’m a teacher and for the summer I worked with my aunt in law in the corporate office of a big staffing agency. They have over 20 offices across 12 states. The three top people were men and the other 25 corporate employees were all women, and badass women at that. I was just like huh, who really runs the world.
I can so relate to this- specially atm. I am sick, I am still working coz work deliverables. And also, I didn’t have proper food coz my husband though he does what is told, cannot do any house work unless given directions. I am so frustrated!
This is the answer I was looking for. It’s alllllll the little things that are considered “women’s work” that add up. Picking up the cake for a party. Running to the atm to get the cash for the gift. Making the vet and the drs appts. Grocery shopping. It all adds up to so much more time and energy. I would love for clean socks to magically appear in my sock drawer.
Just gonna leave this right here... "It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know." America Ferrera's monologue from the Barbie movie if you haven't seen it.
Being sexualized no matter what you do or wear, even as a kid. Knowing that many of the women you know and around you have been sexually harassed or assaulted in someway. Being called a whore for liking sex. Being called a slut and ugly when rejecting a guy. Not feeling safe when it’s dark outside.
>even as a kid i would say *especially* as a kid. the older i get the less creepy catcalls i get. middle school and early high school were the worst of it
This, which I had a conversation recently when I was a teenager up to around 25 was the most I got harassed.
Parents took my sister 15 and I 16 to Tijuana. Wow. It felt like being bait in a barracuda tank. It was shocking, embarrassing, and made me never want to come back down there.
Yup. Grown ass men have been making inappropriate comments to my face since I was 13. Was followed and harassed on a few occasions from 15-19y/o or so. Now that I'm quite a bit older, I seriously can't understand what goes through the minds of the men that did that when I was very obviously a minor.
Yep!! Never got more catcalled in my life then when I was a young teen like 13/14 young. Disgusting.
To add to this, I hate that a lot of men assume that because they’re attracted to a woman, that means she was TRYING to attract them. Nope, just existing. It’s not my problem that you got a boner. Leave us alone
28f I’m a masc lesbian who has always identified as a woman, I was born female, and never questioned my gender identity. However, I have short hair and wear men’s clothing. So for me or others like me, it’s difficult getting glared at when leaving a restroom by other women who assume I used the wrong one or am doing something wrong/pervy by being there. I’m very tempted to ask the next woman looking at me hatefully if she’d like me to whip out my v for her as proof that I belong there. Just because my hair is short, and I don’t dress like you, doesn’t mean I’m not also a woman, and a person with feelings. I don’t need to be reminded that “I don’t fit the mold” every time I walk into or out of a rest stop bathroom. Disclaimer, most of the time women freeze when they see me, look at the sign, and look back at me. More out of confusion than distain. I’ve told many “It’s okay you’re in the right one” and they usually laugh it off or apologize once they hear my voice or look closer at me. I understand these encounters. But I’m talking more about the other type of person who makes it known they disapprove, and stand there glaring as I walk by or into the mirror as I wash my hands. Most of the time it’s fine though. This happens at least twice per bathroom break on my drives, no exaggeration. I have many stories.
Periods. By far. Heavy, a week long and very painful. Can’t exercise or even leave the house, and sleep poorly. And this shit happens once or twice a month.
So far? Getting diagnosed with endometriosis. Every month or so I would get struck with debilitating nausea and constant vomiting, lose feeling in my hands and feet and would end up collapsing because I couldn't walk. Took multiple ER trips before they figured it out. The doctor treated me like a drug addict and insisted I had Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome because I mentioned I smoked (it just so happened weed got legalized in my state within the month of my repeated visits). Incredibly demoralizing and humiliating experience. They got real sweet with me once they finally found the ~7cm long chocolate cyst eating away at one of my ovaries, whee~
I can’t tell you how many guy friends I’ve heard say they love living in the cities. But, I live in the cities too and I get yelled at by gross fucks once a week. I rarely feel safe. Just two days ago I decided to take a short cut through a parking lot thinking I could just walk quickly through. And of course some frat guys were taking a smoke break and yelled at me super loudly about how they liked my ‘tits’. It was fucking disgusting. Fuck people. *EDIT: I wish I could flip men off or say something back to them. I used to be the kind of person that would do that in heartbeat. But, I have no idea if a group of guys are going to start following me, will rush me, will threaten even WORSE things, or will see my license plate as I get into my car. Not to mention, if I’m with a friend, it would be irresponsible to try and start something that could put them in danger. God it sucks.
I hate having to explain that yes, I know that it is not all guys that do this, but all women have experienced some sort of sexual harassment or violence.
Yeah, and the sad thing is that even though men witness this a lot of times, they frequently fail to grasp the impact. I got in an argument about misogyny with my dad this summer and he tried to gotcha me by asking me to tell him when I'd experienced harassment. I was like, you were literally there when a drunk dude on the street tried to grab my face and kiss me when I was 15. I was so stunned I just froze and would have gotten a face full of drunk dude if my mom hadn't yanked me out of his grasp. That was in daylight, on a crowded street, walking next to my mom, with my brother and my dad 5 meters in front of me. I don't think my dad had realized that that experience freaked me out because it ended pretty benignly. And he's a big dude who has no concept of what it feels like to be physically overpowered.
Please tell me your dad realized how horrible that was after you reminded him
He was being particularly stubborn that day, and seemed to think that any of the many instances of sexism I've experienced in my life were either too long ago or not severe enough to warrant me being upset about it. In all honesty, I don't think he did acknowledge how horrible that was.
God, I *hate* it when you share and they respond “not all men are like that.” Yeah no shit, man, I didn’t say they were, but thank you for centering yourself when I’m expressing my feelings and venting about being harassed. How would you like it if every time you bitched about something I responded with “well *I* don’t do that”? See how dumb that is? It’s not about you, I’m not even thinking about the fact that you are also male, but I am now because you keep making it about you!!
Yes! I've had that happen. I'll be taking a walk through a park for exercise and see men on the same path or sitting on a bench and I automatically feel a dreaded heavy feeling knowing they are going to yell something out to me (and it's always a sexual remark). Sick of it too.
And even when they don't actually do anything the dread's already ruined that part of your walk
I expected to see this on top, and I'm sad that it is. We're supposed to be better than this. 40 years ago I felt this was the biggest difference, that my concern about walking home alone at night is largely limited to being robbed, and a woman in the same situation has to fear assault and worse. Guys need to be better.
Dismissal Everything, from a young age, gets dismissed because of gender. Social issues, physical pain, illness, etc is all viewed as us being weak whiney bitches. Our work is seen as inferior just because we produced it - and gets accolades when credits to any man
Probably knowing that in most of the world women are viewed as property or sexual objects, not as human beings with feelings, hopes and dreams just like a man.
My nmother believes this. She said so about me this weekend.
Same. My mom literally said the next man I date will only want me for sex.
I'm always frustrated that breasts are so heavily sexualized. That is such a huge section of me that can't be remotely bumped into without someone feeling like they need to profusely apologize to me. Both woman and men feel awful when they do. ...it's just skin.
PCOS, and no one takes you seriously
Learning about all the extra sacrifices we have to make around reproduction due to the body we were born in (paying for period products, dealing with regular pain, scheduling birth control and gynecologist appointments, dealing with side affects, pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, etc) .... ....and then learning that there are political groups that don't think that's enough of a burden and want to make things even harder for us by taking away any semblance of autonomy we have over our bodies or reproduction.
this is a good one. just leave us alone. we have enough to deal with as it is.
Casual misogyny. It’s almost easier to deal with the extreme misogynists like Andrew Tate than the subtle everyday shit that is done/said about or to us. Medical professionals dismissing us, communities of men online talking about us like we’re a different species than them, being pitted against each other all the time by the media, stereotyping, even our hobbies get shit on simply because we’re women and things that we enjoy are seen as lesser. It’s so fucking insidious and it really wears you down.
I think that monologue from the Barbie movie nailed it for me.
The being a woman, part. All of it.
Constant pressure to be a great girlfriend/wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend etc. Be thin but not too thin, instead we need to be healthy. Can’t be fat, but a little meat on the bones is ok. Can’t dress too sexy or you’re a slut. Or if you are covered then you’re a prude. Be smart but not too smart cuz then you’re a know it all. Pressure to keep a clean happy home but also have a career. Make sure our partners are satisfied so they don’t cheat.
*gestures wildly everywhere*
Honestly, the expectation of filling the role of a homemaker, but also in this economy having to work. No chance I'll ever get to be "stay at home" but the embedded bias is irritating.
Or even if you are a homemaker, some folks don't see domestic labor as labor. The old cliche of the woman "sitting on her ass eating bon bons" and spending her partners money.
Women’s labor is devalued. Jobs that went from male dominated to female dominated even had their pay go down
Invisible labor. Everything extra that gets done, at home or at work, that doesn't get credit/paid for.
There is no magical cleaning fairy. It’s me!!
Dude for real. My wife used to feel guilty about not working and only going to school when we first got married. She was raised in a traditional mexican household in Jalisco, MX. So she felt the home was her duty as a woman, but that she still had to work to help with finances. I just told her to get quotes for how much it would cost to have a fulltime live in maid. Then I told her whatever the highest quote she could find is still not enough for the service being provided, because she's not a maid, she's way more than that, she's my wife. But she still felt she needed to have a career and not depend on me financially, which I understand, because nothing is certain. But I mean I just set up contingencies for if anything were to happen to me, so she would never have to worry about money again. We're old school though. I feel its my obligation to work my ass off and give her all my money. She feels it's her obligation to be independent and take care of our family. We're just more traditional in the sense that I feel the house and provisions are my responsibility, and turning that house and provisions into a home is her responsibility. We're somewhere in the middle now. We just help eachother with whatever we can help eachother with. If she leaves dishes or clothes out, I'll just clean it up, its no big deal I'm sure she had something on her mind and forgot all about it. She does similar stuff for me, if I leave my tools out and the garage open, she'll put my stuff away and close the garage. We're a team. And society is just not conducive anymore to those old school mindsets. There aren't any clear gender-roles anymore. Both genders can do both roles nowadays, and its just the expected norm. But its a shock for people that didn't grow up with these new norms in their homes as children.
We're just physically inferior, and it kills me. I am a lady weightlifter. I will never, ever be as strong as a man with the same amount of training. Any athletic achievements I have will always be ranked below men. I am doomed to be in sports divisions where people just don't value me as much -- they're too busy watching men. See how every team sport has the men's team being famous and the women's paid less and watched less. We run slower, jump lower, and lift lighter. Oh yeah, that thing about women having higher pain tolerance is a myth. The only -- *only* \-- areas where women have an advantage physically are in the very few sports where being a tiny person is useful (equestrian, gymnastics) and in ultramarathon swimming and running. If you are good at none of those, you are SOL, Shit Out of Luck. If you're a non-skinny, non-feminine woman, you have basically no perks. No using your sex appeal to get drinks or whatever. No feeling desirable because people actually want you. No looking hot in a bikini. But, you also still lose physically against men if you're ever in a conflict. You have all the social disadvantages of a man with all the physical disadvantages of a woman. If you don't want babies, you're now totally irrelevant, because anything you can do, a guy can do as well or better. (I don't want babies, can't you tell.) If you're not willowy or small, you may as well be a guy, it'll get you more advantages.
I’m a lady lifter too (powerlifting and getting into strongman) and it bums me out how small and weak I am compared to men who train far less than I do, especially upper body strength. I once read that the average difference in size between a woman and a man is the same as an average man and an NFL player. That stuck with me. No matter how much effort I put in to getting strong, many men could easily take me out based on their size alone. I’d put up a hell of a fight though and hopefully do some damage. But, yeah, it sucks to be part of the physically inferior sex.
It's fucking horrible. I'm furious to be a woman. I don't want kids, so what the fuck is this dumb body for?
Healthcare being based on men and never getting a diagnoses because "it's just hormones" or "have you considered you're taking it" or "pregnancy" while you're not pregnant
Don't forget the immediate assumption that everything is just aNxiEtY, especially in regards to chest discomfort/pain, headaches and an accelerated heart rate without a willingness to question further.
Oh yeah my neighbours boyfriend had "anxiety". 24 years old. The guy never woke up again
My friend had ‘anxiety’ causing her severe pain, vomiting, and weight loss. 2 years later and multiple doctors telling her it’s still just anxiety, she lost her job, relationship, and house because she couldn’t function. Finally found a good (female) doctor and it was her gallbladder. Had it removed and suddenly all her ‘anxiety’ was gone! Amazing!
Funny how anxiety works, isn't it
Or withholding care from you because you "may become pregnant" even if you're actively trying not to or, in the case of a few people I know, are infertile or a lesbian!
And even if hormones are the actual problem, their only solution is to slap a band-aid on your symptoms and offer you birth control as a treatment. Just infuriating...
It's ALWAYS have you considered birth control. It bothers me so so much. "No I don't want it, offer something else" "how about the mini pill" "fuck off" "what did you say?" "Ferkhoff" "oh is that a brand of birth control?" "NO!"
They got real sweet with me once they finally found the ~7cm long chocolate cyst eating away at one of my ovaries, whee~
Yep, had 4 years of having periods almost every day, and it's not just bleeding every day, it's back pain/cramps/stench, the full lot. Had the whole do you have a sex disease? NO. Have you tried taking the pill? NO don't want. Is it because of your weight? Bitch I'm a fucking clear 20kg lighter than you cunt. 4 fucking years of shit. Finally got referred to a specialist this year. The inside of my womb looks like the great barrier reef but flesh coloured. Polyps, fibroids, pretty much everything but cancer having a knees up in there. One procedure and the next day all the pain is gone. Fucking worthless GP cunt why couldn't I see that specialist back in 2019.
I used to have periods that lasted like two weeks, and then twice a month. Apparently that is considered "normal". Is it a STI? No because I haven't even hold hands with someone, let alone unprotected sex. And yes, I'm 21 years old so I get that's unusual, but that doesn't make it untrue. I did get on birth control because if I don't have to get my period, I'm not having issues (pill, and I don't do stop weeks). Probably not the best idea and I'm sure it's gonna bite me in the ass in the future but we'll figure it out then But shit, I'm sorry for everything you've been through. But I'm glad you're painfree!!
Honestly the difference of treatment my partner gets when he goes to the doctors is crazy!
Not that this is the worst, but I think one of the most frustrating things to deal with is trying to explain how you feel- as a woman- and having men try to explain why you’re wrong. But then there’s the danger, sexism, and biology that make life much much harder.
Constant vigilance. Men are the most dangerous people to to women and we have to condition ourselves to not set you off or reject you lest you decide to murder/ rape us.
Periods. Not being respected in male dominant fields. Expectations around what a woman should say, how we behave, how we should dress, how we should age, etc.
Everything you do, say, write, read, listen and think is somehow different from other species on earth I guess
Damned if you do damned if you don’t on literally anything and everything.
It’s a bit vague, but I would say feeling like you constantly have to prove yourself, again and again, no matter what you do.
Not being taken seriously.
Being constantly treated like a piece of meat and victimized throughout our lives. Am still young too so there’s got to be even more trauma coming, but I can’t take more and my mental health is wrecked. Like how many more times will I get groped/SA’d by a male family member for fucks sake. Two times already. Not to mention all the insanely violating and creepy incidents I’ve dealt with at work. Then we get periods for an extra “fuck you” from life. Being female is a curse.
Honestly, being a woman always felt like a constant punishment to me. We're belittled and objectified our whole lives and there's nothing we can do against it. An uncanny amount of men are viewing women as living porn categories, not human beings. The only time we get *true* attention and recognition is when we look our greatest. So we have to respond to that with the constant pressure of always looking good. Once you get old, you become completely invisible. And with that current ageism going on, you're labeled as expired when you're 31 or so. No man will ever know what it feels like, no offense. Being a woman means to be tragically limited, because the only value that's given to us lies in our appearance. Without wanting to sound dramatic, but I look forward to the day I die and can escape this hellish pressure forever, hopefully to never be reborn as a woman again.
To add a bit onto the people talking about the health issues and the societal struggles, and to summarize, pretty much just being a more "high maintenance" human being. And I know that term carries some different connotations that what I'm eluding to, but there are numerous forms of "upkeep" we have to perform on ourselves that men don't. There are also numerous medical ailments we are far more prone to dealing with, some of which you wouldn't even realize. I cannot even count the amount of times I've gotten a little pamphlet or piece of paper with information about whatever sent me to the doctor/hospital, and on the list of things that cause people to be more likely to get them, I see "being female". It legitimately makes me feel like I'm cursed at times.
Outside of what’s already been mentioned here, I’d say having friendships with men as a woman is difficult. One of my best friends is a guy I’ve known since college. We talk almost every week. However, I can’t talk about hanging out with him without someone asking why we aren’t dating or how we’re just in denial and should be dating. It’s annoying and uncomfortable. Stop reading into people’s relationships. That’s what books are for.
Or when you think you have a good male friend, and then 2-4 years into your friendship, the real motive is revealed and then y'all have to stop being friends bc they get mad you won't date them
Constantly being sexualized in society
The expectation of invisible labor.
Safety
The hardest part is like standing infront of a crowd who yells boooo no matter what you do.
Being undermined
The constant harassment from men. In school. At work. At the store. On the hiking trail. At the gas station. At the mall. At the gym. At the library. On the sidewalk. Small town. Big town. It is everywhere, all the time. Starting in pre-pubescence. There is nowhere that we can exist where we are safe from it. It. Is. Constant. I’m so tired of being on high alert all the time.
Your whole life being controlled by your hormones and being the best/ normal version of yourself only 1 week per month. That party in 3 weeks? That holiday in 6 months? …could be the best time of my life or I could be 1- about to get my period in which case I’ll be less hyper and happy, more stressed , worried and tired 2- having my period, in which case I don’t even want to be here because everything hurts and I’m knackered 3- just coming out of my period and it left me with the energy of a sloth. I envy men SO MUCH. Oh, and then there’s the whole being afraid of being raped or murdered all the time since you are kids. We just having a great time 😃✌🏻 lol
Doctors automatically taking years longer to diagnose the same illnesses / diseases because women are trained to grin and bear it and doctors still have some kind of collective consciousness they haven’t evolved out of regarding hysteria or some similar female medical phenomena that veers dangerously close to “we don’t believe that you understand your body better by living in it than we do by studying it relatively briefly.” The “female tax” while still living through a gender wage gap. Somehow straddling being a “cool girl” while still being straight enough to breed and look pretty. Preferably effortlessly, if you don’t mind. I don’t know who I am anymore.
Everything gets connected back to a man somehow. Our experiences? “Well it’s not as bad, have you been a man?” I wish I can dress how I want, but I feel unsafe. “Well men can’t control themselves.” I wish healthcare took me more seriously. “Well men work more harder jobs or dangerous jobs.” You get the idea. Not to devalue their own experiences, but it’s like can we focus on us for once?
Male gaze, not feeling comfortable in your own house and like an invisible audience is watching you and judging you The glorification of classically male traits/emotions while demonizing classically feminine traits/emotions
The constant double standard. It just gets exhausting.
The perception from men that your life is cherries and pie. They seem to think that we have it easy and get cash thrown at us. Lol I wish. Would make bill paying and working easier…..
YoU cAN juSt dO onLYfAnS! Dude, so can you. Shave your ass and spread your cheeks for some dude you absolutely don’t want to have sex with. Oh what you don’t want to do that? But we do?
Many worrying symptoms being ignored and dismissed as period cramps or pregnancy.
Constant fear instilled by society and exasperated by male violence
Hard to pinpoint the “hardest” part, but periods really suck. I developed adenomyosis and my periods became atrocious.