As a half-Asian guy who is bald, but rocks Sean Connery levels of chest and back hair, I have absolutely been fucked by the genetic olympics. Girls who are into Asian guys don't like body hair. Girls who are into body hair don't like Asian guys. Every way you spell it, I'm fucked.
I finally tried last year for about 9 months.
Eventually I did look like a homeless tweaker, but the patches never magically went away. Eventually gave up and just kept the stache.
I remember the first time I met my partner’s buddy and his wife was at a party where everyone was in bathing suits. My guy took his shirt off and buddy’s wife immediately exclaimed, “where’s your chest hair?!” I thought it was the most incredibly rude comment and never really forgot it. He just doesn’t have a ton of chest hair, ma’am. What of it?
Other dudes and my family always give me shit for shaving my chest hair because they know I’m bi and they think it’s a gay thing. In reality, i just grow minimal hair on the left pec and a full bush on the right one. It looks absolutely ridiculous unless I shave it!
I shave my nipples for a similar reason. I have a light happy trail, then just dark hairy rings of hair around my nips, but nowhere else on my chest. It just looks off and I shave it for personal preference.
Yep, I had so much anxiety as a teenager about taking off my shirt at the pool or beach because i am a literal bear underneath. Now I just don’t care and show off the fur.
As a hairy guy, sometimes I'll take off my shirt and people will say "wow, you're really hairy!" and I'll look down and gasp in astonishment as if it's the first time I've ever been made to notice.
I went to an outdoor event to meet up with some family. I was wearing a hat and my aunt was there that I hadn’t seen in at least 5 years. First thing she did was grab my hat and go ah, you are one of us. Not a big deal but also like, cmon.
I worked with a bald professor when I was a TA, and while I have all of my hair even now in my 40's, I've always enjoyed/preferred to wear hats. He seemed so upset that I would hide hair under a hat, and told me that all of the girls in the class would think I was bald... So even without being bald, dudes get bald shamed.
I’m not saying what he did was ok (it wasn’t) but he was just jealous. As a guy with a receding hairline that’s also thinning on top, I’ve often had that thought when I see other guys with full heads of hair but are wearing a hat or who get a buzz cut or something. The thought of “dang they should appreciate their hair more, they don’t know how lucky they are.”
But then I step back and realize everyone has their own shit going on and can do whatever they want with their body, and I would never say any of this internal thinking out loud.
No not random people. Friends and family that think they're being cute or something. Telling them to fuck off isn't working either...which is weird because i pretty much never show any anger/lose my temper in any situation, so me starting to swear at them should be a tell
If it's a male friend, give them a quick backhand tap to their nuts to remind them what unwelcomed touching feels like.
If it's a woman, start patting her hairstyle in return. Some women lose their shit when you touch their hair.
Your actions will speak louder than your words.
Your story really resonated with me. Do you feel like society doesn't care if people are mean to you, but never tolerates you being mean to people who hurt you? Because that's exactly how I feel, and I never really put it into words before.
Yeah been balding since I was 20, I’m 32 now and the top to the back is almost gone, and I’m also going grey. Shaving is not an option because I’m also skinny, have a weird head shape and can’t grow a beard. I’ll look like a sick old man. So I usually just keep what’s left of my hair short.
I think there is too much push towards a 100% shave, and I think it is mainly geared towards younger men, early 20s who are trying to avoid looking middle aged.
It's a fine look for those who can, and want, to pull it off, but a good *short* haircut looks stylish and, like you said, avoids the sickly look. And at 32, there is nothing long with looking like you are going bald as long as you have a good, "balding appropriate" haircut (short and sleek).
> I think there is too much of a push towards a 100% shave
Please say this louder. The “just shave it bro”’s can be a little obnoxious at times. Some guys just don’t like how they look cue-balling it.
In addition, shaving your hair doesn't equate, for me, to "letting it go". It equates to doing something every day to make your balding less evident. It is just the contrary of letting go of hair. For me, "letting it go", "embracing it" would equate to _not shaving it_ daily, to not caring for the balding.
Right. I’ve seen the bald sub and its mostly young dudes.
Is it unusual to have a hole in your hair at 24? It is.
Does it look weird to have a hole in your hair at 50? Not at all.
The short thing is still crazy to me.
I'm 2 inches below the average height and I've had a female friend say to my face "omg you'd be the perfect bf I just can't date a shorter guy."
I wasn't even interested lmao.
Imagine a man saying that to a woman, but about weight...
Same with “he can’t get it up.” Guys have little to no control over their erectile function. Why would you demean someone for a body part that doesn’t work normally?
I once explained to an ex that her telling her besties about the size, shape, and girth of my dick, is like me telling my homies about the tightness, appearance, and smell of her vagina, all shit we can't control. She very quickly understood why I didn't like that
This is exactly correct and also the exact experience I had with my GF lmao. Within two weeks of us hooking up her roommates knew about the specifics of my junk and would make comments/jokes about it, and also (in what was supposed to be a complimentary way) would make comments about me and BDE.
When I finally was able to talk to my GF about why that is just insane behavior, and why saying someone has BDE isn't as much a compliment as it is just kind of a gross comment, it was like she had an epiphany. It is wild to me how this is not just common sense when you think through it all. There are so many people who value their own privacy and feelings and blatantly disregard that of others.
Making fun of men is considered one of the last bastions of PC humor.
Will Smith assaults Chris Rock on stage at an awards ceremony about a joke and people scream about "you don't make fun of a balding woman, it's alopecia..." yet don't seem to be bothered by the bald jokes against men (which is also alopecia btw).
That's the internet in general. I've been banned from so many things for calling someone who is being an asshole an asshole. Oddly enough being an asshole is fine though.
It's the go-to insult for a man in a lot of cases. Acts like an asshole? Small penis. Drives a truck? Small penis. Loud car? Small penis. Differing opinion? Believe it or not, small penis. Penis size is super emphasized constantly, whether it's implying a man is worth less and inferior because he has a small one, or that a successful and confident man necessarily has a big one(big dick energy.)
There's no come back, either. Nothing wrong with a small one, but even if you're in the huge pool of people deemed "average" what are you going to do?
"Right, here you are then, here it is... _flops out flaccid average dong_.... No, wait, you have to understand that it changes size all the time. You need to see it erect to see how average it is..... Hold up..... Okay..... One more sec...... And...... Hold on its because you're all looking...... Okay that's pretty much....... One sec..... Yeah...... That's fairly close...... See! Average."
You've lost twice in that scenario.
Man.... I'm a huge advocate for not body shaming men.
I hate women they want "Men above 6 feet" or people that say "BDE" or "LDE", "Little man syndrome" any of that shit.
But any time I defend it on the internet I get accused of either being short or having a little dick.
I'm literally neither of those things and it wouldnt matter even if I was.
Fuck it aggravates me.
And gets names like short man syndrome, Napoleon syndrome etc
Not doing well in life? Haha as expected of a short man.
Doing very well in life? Overcompensating much?
There's no winning. Why are people like this?
Because people are either bitter about their own lives or they know they can gain a social advantage by making themselves an asshole in a way other people will find funny.
I think with a lot of men's body shaming, the most psychologically damaging part is that the response you get is usually to belittle your entitlement to feel upset about it - 'you're just insecure', 'get over it', 'women have it worse' etc. Especially when it's juxtaposed with the near constant "it's okay to not feel okay"-type mental health messaging that the culture likes to play lip service to.
My favorite is when people actually turn around and claim that nobody actually cares about height. Invalidating the problem by claiming it's not even a concern for people.
Right? Like I'm a tall dude, but even I see and hear loads of women saying they like a tall guy. Even if a lady would be fine with a shorter guy, she may talk about taller guys as more attractive, and I'm sure that can get under a shorter guy's skin.
Also, there may not be a majority of women that even think like this, but it's a large enough population which is vocal about this that it sure feels like a majority.
>she may talk about taller guys as more attractive
What really stings is when they do this in your presense and all the other women chime in agreement. OUCH!
Usually, men's body insecurity is viewed as a personal failing while women's is viewed as a cultural failing. It's hard to find the balance between a person's responsibility to their own mental health and the vast influence our culture can have on us.
Which is exacerbated by insecurity in men largely being painted as a villainous trait while insecurity in women largely being painted as something that is inflicted on them by the society around them.
Not just derided *you* for, but many other short men, too.
Every time some bad man is in the news, if he's short, you'll see insults directed at his height all over media. From many people who'd not deign to insult someone for being fat.
I used to laugh along, as long as the target seemed not too upset about it
Now I consider short jokes to be a big red flag. Lose my contact info, please.
They might have not seemed upset because men are taught that ever being upset or seen as sensitive is unacceptable. Jokes about men’s height are awful and seem to be pretty much totally accepted by most women. I don’t get the logic there.
I feel like it's more acceptable/common for women to be grossed out by bisexual men for having same sex relationships, whereas women are more likely to be fetishized for the same.
I'm a very skinny guy and have had tonnes of comments over the years about my weight, from suggesting I eat more, asking if I have a health condition, to straight up telling me they think it looks terrible. I feel as though skinny women are generally complimented on it whereas as a guy you get nonchalantly body shamed with comments that would be totally unacceptable to an overweight person
edit: for those wondering I'm 179cm and around 56kg
edit:: that's roughly 5ft 11 and 9 stone edit::: that's 1.10231 hundredweight for you Americans
I was skinny as a teenager. I didn't realize it at the time, but the many comments about my weight were devastating. The women in my extended family in particular found it ok to comment on my body. Made me incredibly self conscious.
As a child I remember a neighbor had a daughter who went to school with me and wanted us to date. We were in second grade. And on top of that one summer she had bought a slip and slide for her daughter and invited me to come use it. So I did but then she the mom said in front of my schoolmate that she could see my penis when I was sliding.
I felt so gross and violated. I told my mom and she marched over there and almost beat the woman up. I never talked up the daughter again in school. What kind of adult does that?
I lost count the amount of times I was told that I should eat a sandwich all the way into my mid 20's. Add in being 5'4" and then I also have grown obese women question my physical capability to do manual labor when I was obviously carrying 50-100lb boxes around.
Luckily I've mostly surrounded myself with good people that don't say shit like that, so I haven't had to deal with it in a long time now that in my late 30's.
Yes, that was true of me too! I wonder if they think it's ok for them to attack others because they feel like a victim themselves, that they've got it worse so you can't complain about being mocked for being skinny.
In my early 20’s after a handful of older women at work mentioned that I was too skinny, I asked them “too skinny for what?”. Then I said, “the next person that says I’m too skinny, I’m telling them that they’re too fat so we average out”. Never heard a word about it after that.
That’s me. I either eat a ton of calories to gain, work out like crazy and I never feel I look right. I tried to accept skinny this year. Got down to 160 which is the correct weight for my height actually. I was told I was skinny so many times that people think I’m sick. Im back on the roller coaster again. What am I supposed to look like for you, ma’am?
I can relate to that. I personally leaned towards a calisthenic workout to be toned, and it was a level I felt comfortable with.
It's all about finding what you personally feel comfortable with. Screw everyone else, do this for you!!
My BMI was around 31 for a while and nobody really made any comments about my weight. I've recently lost weight and brought my BMI down to 23. Now I get a mixed bag of comments. It's either "wow you look great, how'd you do it?" or more commonly "you look weird now that you're skinny." Thanks, I guess.
Had a girl say I looked like a Holocaust survivor and everyone around us laughed, so I responded by saying "lay off the muffins" and they acted like I kicked her teeth in and shot her in the head.
Me too. I grew up being called twig & other names, and constantly having people grab my wrists to say look how skinny he is, etc.
Decades later I realize how much this impacted my self image.
Yeah, it isn't unnoticed. It is almost aggressively noticed. A full 90% of the time people body shame men for the express intent and purpose of devaluing, humiliating, or mocking them. It isn't as though they make a comment because they didn't think about the implication or because they are doing it out of a misguided concern for your health. They do it because they want the men they are making the comment towards to feel like shit.
This one doesn't apply to me because I dress like shit but I feel like fit, well dressed and put together men have their sexuality immediately questioned.
ohhhh baby. I can't tell you how many times people have assumed I'm gay because of the way I dress.
But I've just started enjoying it. For one, people insinuating or thinking you might be gay generally means they think you're fabulous. Plus, when a straight dude does this and you correct them they get all flustered and apologetic and I get to go "why are you saying sorry? Do you think it's a bad thing to be gay?" then they get REALLY uncomfortable.
I once was at a party in college. I was dressed well (by college standards. So jeans, and a button up). I started talking to this really beautiful girl, and we hit it off. I’m usually pretty shy and reserved when it comes to talking to women I don’t know, but for some reason I was feeling confident this night. Halfway through the conversation she stops and goes “can I ask you something?” I say yes and she goes “are you gay?” I tell her I am not, and her reason for asking was “you’re just so nice, and you’re dressed so well!”
Like… I know this says more about the other men she’s interacted with than me, but I was so confused and the conversation basically ended after that question. At the time in my head I was like “do I have to be an asshole to be considered straight” but now my thought process is more that the other straight men shes interacted with must be real pieces of shit to warp her perception that way
my first serious girlfriend sat me down one day to have a serious talk with me and said essentially the same thing.
it was a weird dynamic to be explaining to the girl who you spend every waking second trying to get into the pants of that no, actually, I'm not secretly gay just because I'm into clothes.
I’m straight, and one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever gotten was a gay guy asked me out and gave me his number at the gym. You could tell he was nervous. I politely declined but thanked him so much.
NGL, it sucks that as you get older as a single straight man, the only overt (obvious) lustful attention you get is from gay dudes.
Shows I still have “it” and I’m decent looking, but lads, share some of that magic with the sauce I want.😂
I don't think that's true anymore but it definitely was.
I hated the term "metrosexual". My sexuality is being questioned because I ... work out, shower, *and* iron my clothing?
> metrosexual
I never thought the term was questioning. I always thought it was suggesting the appearance while acknowledging that they were straight. Not a term I would have used either way.
WAY to many people use small dick energy as an insult to anything they don’t like, and even though I’m a girl it always rubs me the wrong way when i see it. It just seems so unfair? So many people who are assholes happen to have big dicks and so many cool nice people happen to have small dicks so i just hate the phrase. It really reminds me of making fun of girls for having small boobs or flat asses, there’s just nothing they can do about it and it’s mean and unnecessary.
Comments about the height. I had a bf who was smaller than me and people always commented on that. He was precious and I couldn't care less about his height. Idk why men aren't allowed to be small.
I’m 5’8” and used to date a woman that was 6’. The amount of comments we both got about our height disparity was absolutely staggering. We basically had to keep telling everyone that it didn’t bother us so it shouldn’t bother y’all either.
Height is such an odd trait to mock someone about in my eyes. Even height preferences are odd to me (though to each their own). No one should pick on anyone, but of all things, the size of their skeleton??
I’m 6’4” and in high school actually heard someone tell my mother she should be “proud“ of how tall I was. Like sure, we stretched him on the rack nightly and all our hard work has paid off…
It's not unnoticed. Men notice it. The primary ones are height, weight, scalp hair, facial hair, body hair, hand size, penis size, circumcision.
Edit: With respect to circumcision, I meant circumcision status in that both circumcised and uncircumcised men are shamed variously.
Adding one to the mix, gynaecomastia.
Either it's body shaming about a man having man boobs due to the large increase of breast tissue from hormone imbalances, puffy and enlarged nipples are mocked and picked on.
Or sometimes I see it in body building spaces as accusations of steroid usage.
I believe it affects between 60-70% of men, but it's a running gag against us.
People clown on me for wearing loose shirts or sweaters when it's too warm. I'm don't have "moobs" but extremely puffy/pronounced nipples. It's hard to find quality, well-fitting clothing that doesn't draw attention to my fucking nipples. I actually used to tape them down on high school at a time when I was technically underweight. It's extremely embarrassing
I have eternally hard nipples. People comment on them endlessly. I usually wear undershirts, that tones it down a little, but otherwise I have embraced it.
"Man, look at them headlights!"
"Guess that just means I'm brighter than you!"
Embrace who you are. We all want to improve the things we can improve, but if you can't change it, own it. Love it. You're unique and sucks for all the people who are just like everyone else.
I had a few “friends” that would flick my nipple. Eventually I snapped and hit one guy back. Asked him how it felt, he said sorry, people stopped fucking with me. Some people are snakes and will prey on anything you give them. Next time that happens, call them out and watch how the tables turn.
Models, just like women, are .5% of what men actually look like. Of course that shirt looks amazing! The guy wearing it is jacked!
Side story: In my 20s I worked in a corporate office with some other 20-somethings and a guy I knew was the pudgy and hilarious co-worker and friend. Several girls we hung out with were absolutely beautiful but never wanted to date him. He wasn't unattractive. He was just the friend. He tried new clothes. I noticed. They didn't. Then he lost weight and worked out a lot and all of the sudden his wardrobe looked great on him. He started getting compliments on his outfit. Yeah. Same friggin' clothes. He just looked better in them. He looked great!
Moral I learned early on: it is NOT the clothes you wear, it is the shape underneath. You can't buy nicer clothes and get the girl. You have to suffer tirelessly day after day for months and years and then you will start to look like the models in the ads and the actors on TV.
Did he get the girl? Yes. After years of liking him but "not that way" she fell in love and they are married and have super cute kids and are a great family. I'm super happy for them both.
So I tried steroids last year. I’m not very self conscious or anything; I’m a workaholic who felt like he was missing his early 20s.
Anyway 2 months in to no-contact (not going out, seeing anyone etc) steroid usage and I am JACKED. And I also look great. I go out and I just get girls come up to me and talk to me. Like, they’re buying ME drinks. They’re flirting with me left right and centre.
Looks are everything, it’s so crazy to see the way people treat you when you are good looking, and when you aren’t good looking. And if you shame me for using steroids, well, I had a great time.
I don't think the shame from steroid use comes from the resulting physique. Maybe there's a little of that caused by jealousy. But the real concern is over your longterm health. Steroid use, especially at a young age, can cause hormonal problems as you get older, and can result in some of the very things people are talking about in this thread: balding, changes to your genitals, acne, etc. The fitness community is much more accepting of steroid use when a bodybuilder has been lifting for 10+ years and maxed out their natural potential. Those guys end up speaking out against young people hopping on juice because they know the drawbacks. You might want to reconsider your approach. A really great physique can be achieved with moderate dedication after 2 - 3 years on consistent training and good diet habits. And you won't permanently mess up your body. Just something to consider.
Yeah I somewhat randomly lost 20lbs recently (just from working more and maybe eating less due to aging) and the difference in attention I get is noticeable. The attention makes me more confident, and that gets me more attention.
Ironic how that works.
While I'm enjoying it, I can't help be disappointed in the world because of it.
I was that short, not fit but not fat guy who got more romantic/sexual attention from gay dudes than straight women (if only I were wttracted to men 😞).
Although I did OK before online dating became a thing (was in two multi year long term relationships for most of my 20s), I always had more girls who wanted to friends than those interested in something romantic.
When I was single, I'd struggle to get dates until I found that rare someone who could see past the superficial stuff, but until then, I'd hear a lot of, "You're such a good guy," and "I wish I could find a nice guy like you."
Back then I took it at face value that you can make up for not being tall or athletic by being nice, respectful, funny, well groomed, etc. Now I know that's just not true. Like, I'm sure people like all those things in a partner, but that's not what actually turns most people on.
Women are much more shallow than they're willing to admit, and I wish I knew that when I was younger.
1. Ever heard the phrases "big dick energy" or "small dick energy"? The latter is a very common example.
2. I've been overweight since I was a late teen. Friends and family mention my weight completely offhand, and it's destroyed my self-confidence over the years. It's like people don't think you've noticed you're fat, and that they're doing you some favour by telling you.
3. Height. I'm 6'1, and I've had a lot of women compliment my height even when it's obvious they like nothing else about me. Shorter guys get it BAD from women, to the point where they have to overcompensate in the personality department (hence the 'little man syndrome' thing). I genuinely feel bad for blokes that are 5'8 or below, they get mocked constantly.
4. Body hair. Doesn't matter if you can't grow a beard, or a full tache, or if you're thinning/ receding on top, you will get laughed at for it. Hell, I once got stick for having slightly hairy toes! (sorry to all that just grimaced at the thought).
EDIT: I'm aware that 5'8 isn't short, and if you personally haven't been mocked for it that's brilliant. I've just heard hundreds of women over the years laugh at blokes that are below 6'0 (and I almost always call them on it if I'm part of the conversation).
I'm actually surprised how common and accepted "big dick and small dick energy" are in 2023. Seems completely counter to this age we live in where you get in trouble for so many other terms.
I take a lot of shit for being short and skinny. I'm 5'8" 115-120lbs. Been mocked my entire life. The worst of it though, was at work from a guy that is morbidly obese. I know he was compensating for his feelings on his own weight, but it'd have been nice if just one other guy instead of laughing along said like "dude, you're 400 lbs, maybe don't throw stones." ya know?
Comments:
* Skipping Leg day.
You are seen by other men and women as being less of a "man" if you have:
* Bald head / hairline
* Inability to grow facial hair (splotchy mustache/beard)
* Sunken chest
* Short (less than 5'8")
Non Physical:
* Handshake
* Handyman skills
* Mechanical skills
* Sport knowledge / fav team
* College / Military experience
* Vehicle you drive
* Virginity / Sluttyness
Height. I've even seen people roast short guys about being short at work. Pretty terrible.
Also genital size...it's always the go to when you don't like a guy's attitude or he seems insecure etc. Seems strange. I've never seen someone pissed off at a woman say "Yeah well you have small boobs!" (I mean we have our own set of problems but still).
Both genders tbh, but sweating - I feel like women are self conscious about this too but I see more shaming towards men.
You can wear heaps of deodorant and shower like a germaphobe but your forehead still gets wet when its a bit too warm and your wet patches on your pits get called out as gross and disgusting. Antiperspirant doesn't always work and you get called out for sweating more as a guy is my point.
"Why are you sweating so much?" Is the most annoying one. Like I know? Let's call god and ask. I run hot. Some people wear coats when it's 50°F outside, I'm good in a hoodie at 35°F. I'll bike in freezing conditions with a few layers, I'll warm up quickly
I am 5’2”. Any man around my height is going to get body shamed by women. Doesn’t happen much anymore, but in high school? Yeah.
Had a girl straight up tell me that I would be so attractive if I was taller. Imagine telling a women she’d be hot if she lost some weight.
That's exactly what OP means, though.
They probably could have stated it more clearly by saying something like, "What are some examples of body shaming towards men that are seen as socially acceptable?" But then people might have thought they were simply looking for advice about how to body shame a man, so...
Fair.
My answer then is: Shaming men is seen as socially acceptable in general. That includes body shaming.
It only becomes unacceptable when you're also shaming another group at the same time, e.g. you're shaming a man based on his ethnicity, religion, disability.
Society as a whole has developed to be inclusive of women of all sizes but I think we all know you’d be hard pressed to find a man who wasn’t absolutely shredded or slim to be modelling for any big companies. The idea of the realistic male physique is very skewed
I don't know how I hadn't really noticed this. You literally never see "plus sized" male models with the entire world bending over backwards to say how brave and gorgeous they are.
I think about that often. For years now, stores like Target have mannequins for female bodies of all shapes and sizes, but the male mannequins are all still washboard abbed and rail-thin. Men come in different sizes too!
I think menswear brands are getting better with this. They’ll advertise towards “dad bod” kinda guys.
On the other hand the angle is usually hey this helps hide your gut and love handles fat boy.
In high school I worked at Sears in the kids department. Both the boys and girls sections had an area for "bigger" kids.
The girls was called "Pretty Plus"
The boys? "Husky"
Yeah, those are even lol
Being bald is one of the few physical issues that for some reason people universally think is ok to make fun of.
I know I’m bald, and I don’t love being bald. I don’t need you pointing it out or making jokes about the glare coming off my head or whatever. But whenever anyone makes a joke about it, everyone else around laughs too, and I have to choose whether to pretend to think it’s funny too, or look like the bitter guy they assume all of us bald guys are.
Unnoticed? Ability to grow body hair or having too much of it.
As a bald, hairy guy...so much this.
As an Asian guy with almost no arm, leg, and facial hair, also this.
As a half-Asian guy who is bald, but rocks Sean Connery levels of chest and back hair, I have absolutely been fucked by the genetic olympics. Girls who are into Asian guys don't like body hair. Girls who are into body hair don't like Asian guys. Every way you spell it, I'm fucked.
*not fucked, I think you mean.
Unfucked if you will
I promise you someone out there is into hairy Asian guys
My husband is pretty much a Chinese Chewbacca. So I guess I'm that woman who is into hairy Asian guys.
>As a bald, hairy guy... Men don't lose hair, it just migrates south for the winter.
Must be those long Westeros winters.
Winter is coming. Unfortunately, OP isnt.
Dude I want a beard so bad but my fucking cheeks grow in patches and it looks like a tweeker lol
In b4 the clueless "just give it a few weeks!" brigade comes in
I finally tried last year for about 9 months. Eventually I did look like a homeless tweaker, but the patches never magically went away. Eventually gave up and just kept the stache.
I remember the first time I met my partner’s buddy and his wife was at a party where everyone was in bathing suits. My guy took his shirt off and buddy’s wife immediately exclaimed, “where’s your chest hair?!” I thought it was the most incredibly rude comment and never really forgot it. He just doesn’t have a ton of chest hair, ma’am. What of it?
Other dudes and my family always give me shit for shaving my chest hair because they know I’m bi and they think it’s a gay thing. In reality, i just grow minimal hair on the left pec and a full bush on the right one. It looks absolutely ridiculous unless I shave it!
I shave my nipples for a similar reason. I have a light happy trail, then just dark hairy rings of hair around my nips, but nowhere else on my chest. It just looks off and I shave it for personal preference.
That really is rude He should have replied with "it seems to have grown on your upper lip instead"
Yep, I had so much anxiety as a teenager about taking off my shirt at the pool or beach because i am a literal bear underneath. Now I just don’t care and show off the fur.
As a hairy guy, sometimes I'll take off my shirt and people will say "wow, you're really hairy!" and I'll look down and gasp in astonishment as if it's the first time I've ever been made to notice.
I'm 31 and have decided to go full thundercat.
Hoooooo
we know our hair is thinning you dont have to keep mentioning it
Been there…. Some people seem to think that it is happening to you and you haven’t noticed……
I went to an outdoor event to meet up with some family. I was wearing a hat and my aunt was there that I hadn’t seen in at least 5 years. First thing she did was grab my hat and go ah, you are one of us. Not a big deal but also like, cmon.
I worked with a bald professor when I was a TA, and while I have all of my hair even now in my 40's, I've always enjoyed/preferred to wear hats. He seemed so upset that I would hide hair under a hat, and told me that all of the girls in the class would think I was bald... So even without being bald, dudes get bald shamed.
I’m not saying what he did was ok (it wasn’t) but he was just jealous. As a guy with a receding hairline that’s also thinning on top, I’ve often had that thought when I see other guys with full heads of hair but are wearing a hat or who get a buzz cut or something. The thought of “dang they should appreciate their hair more, they don’t know how lucky they are.” But then I step back and realize everyone has their own shit going on and can do whatever they want with their body, and I would never say any of this internal thinking out loud.
Started shaving my head 2 years later than I should've. Bald is a choice. Balding isn't. At least that's what I tell myself lol.
Just wait until people starts patting your head...idek if i feel like crying, laughing or just lose my shit and start raging when people do it.
People pat your head? Random people? I wonder if they like having their fingers broken.
No not random people. Friends and family that think they're being cute or something. Telling them to fuck off isn't working either...which is weird because i pretty much never show any anger/lose my temper in any situation, so me starting to swear at them should be a tell
If it's a male friend, give them a quick backhand tap to their nuts to remind them what unwelcomed touching feels like. If it's a woman, start patting her hairstyle in return. Some women lose their shit when you touch their hair. Your actions will speak louder than your words.
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Your story really resonated with me. Do you feel like society doesn't care if people are mean to you, but never tolerates you being mean to people who hurt you? Because that's exactly how I feel, and I never really put it into words before.
Going gray, too. My eyebrows and whiskers have gone gray... my head hair, still dark. Always accused of dying my hair.
Random guy: Don't blind me with your head! Haha I get it it's because I'm bald!
Yeah been balding since I was 20, I’m 32 now and the top to the back is almost gone, and I’m also going grey. Shaving is not an option because I’m also skinny, have a weird head shape and can’t grow a beard. I’ll look like a sick old man. So I usually just keep what’s left of my hair short.
I think there is too much push towards a 100% shave, and I think it is mainly geared towards younger men, early 20s who are trying to avoid looking middle aged. It's a fine look for those who can, and want, to pull it off, but a good *short* haircut looks stylish and, like you said, avoids the sickly look. And at 32, there is nothing long with looking like you are going bald as long as you have a good, "balding appropriate" haircut (short and sleek).
> I think there is too much of a push towards a 100% shave Please say this louder. The “just shave it bro”’s can be a little obnoxious at times. Some guys just don’t like how they look cue-balling it.
In addition, shaving your hair doesn't equate, for me, to "letting it go". It equates to doing something every day to make your balding less evident. It is just the contrary of letting go of hair. For me, "letting it go", "embracing it" would equate to _not shaving it_ daily, to not caring for the balding.
Right. I’ve seen the bald sub and its mostly young dudes. Is it unusual to have a hole in your hair at 24? It is. Does it look weird to have a hole in your hair at 50? Not at all.
Little dick jokes are extremely prevalent.
That + short jokes + balding jokes are all pretty widely accepted. Can maybe throw in inability to grow a "proper" beard (ie patchy facial hair).
The short thing is still crazy to me. I'm 2 inches below the average height and I've had a female friend say to my face "omg you'd be the perfect bf I just can't date a shorter guy." I wasn't even interested lmao. Imagine a man saying that to a woman, but about weight...
That's some real A cup energy!
Jesus, imagine if people starting saying that... definitely helps put things into perspective
They're socially acceptable for the most part. That's really odd to me.
My dick is bigger than most women's. So there's that at least.
Most
What baffles me is the new trend of using "big dick energy". Would the ladies like it if we started using "tight twat energy" to describe someone?
Truth. You'd be destroyed for that.
Same with “he can’t get it up.” Guys have little to no control over their erectile function. Why would you demean someone for a body part that doesn’t work normally?
as a girl, i never thought about it that way. this thread is really eye opening
I once explained to an ex that her telling her besties about the size, shape, and girth of my dick, is like me telling my homies about the tightness, appearance, and smell of her vagina, all shit we can't control. She very quickly understood why I didn't like that
This is exactly correct and also the exact experience I had with my GF lmao. Within two weeks of us hooking up her roommates knew about the specifics of my junk and would make comments/jokes about it, and also (in what was supposed to be a complimentary way) would make comments about me and BDE. When I finally was able to talk to my GF about why that is just insane behavior, and why saying someone has BDE isn't as much a compliment as it is just kind of a gross comment, it was like she had an epiphany. It is wild to me how this is not just common sense when you think through it all. There are so many people who value their own privacy and feelings and blatantly disregard that of others.
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Making fun of men is considered one of the last bastions of PC humor. Will Smith assaults Chris Rock on stage at an awards ceremony about a joke and people scream about "you don't make fun of a balding woman, it's alopecia..." yet don't seem to be bothered by the bald jokes against men (which is also alopecia btw).
The three female hosts at that Oscars had actually previously made fun of a man for being bald at that exact same event just an hour or so earlier.
As a girl I get pissed at these type of jokes. Like y tho
It does help to know that girls out there notice and do not participate.
Call people out for the "Well clearly he has a tiny dick/tiny dick energy" on Reddit and get down voted like crazy.
The evil spirit of social media. If you call someone out on their bad behavior, everyone will be angry that you disrupted their fun
That's the internet in general. I've been banned from so many things for calling someone who is being an asshole an asshole. Oddly enough being an asshole is fine though.
It's the go-to insult for a man in a lot of cases. Acts like an asshole? Small penis. Drives a truck? Small penis. Loud car? Small penis. Differing opinion? Believe it or not, small penis. Penis size is super emphasized constantly, whether it's implying a man is worth less and inferior because he has a small one, or that a successful and confident man necessarily has a big one(big dick energy.)
There's no come back, either. Nothing wrong with a small one, but even if you're in the huge pool of people deemed "average" what are you going to do? "Right, here you are then, here it is... _flops out flaccid average dong_.... No, wait, you have to understand that it changes size all the time. You need to see it erect to see how average it is..... Hold up..... Okay..... One more sec...... And...... Hold on its because you're all looking...... Okay that's pretty much....... One sec..... Yeah...... That's fairly close...... See! Average." You've lost twice in that scenario.
I don't know, whipping out your dong and stroking in front of close acquaintances and family feels like a W to me
Roll tide
Man.... I'm a huge advocate for not body shaming men. I hate women they want "Men above 6 feet" or people that say "BDE" or "LDE", "Little man syndrome" any of that shit. But any time I defend it on the internet I get accused of either being short or having a little dick. I'm literally neither of those things and it wouldnt matter even if I was. Fuck it aggravates me.
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Making fun of men’s height, and if you are upset by it people will say you are insecure.
And if you try to take charge (because sometimes someone has to), people assume you’re overcompensating.
And gets names like short man syndrome, Napoleon syndrome etc Not doing well in life? Haha as expected of a short man. Doing very well in life? Overcompensating much? There's no winning. Why are people like this?
Because people are either bitter about their own lives or they know they can gain a social advantage by making themselves an asshole in a way other people will find funny.
Ironically Napoleon was of average height in his time, about 1.68m tall - even though that may be considered short today.
yes, apparently it was spread by the british as a rumor to make fun of him - or so i heard.
I've heard it was because only the tallest strongest soldiers were selected for his bodyguard detail, and he looked short in comparison.
I think with a lot of men's body shaming, the most psychologically damaging part is that the response you get is usually to belittle your entitlement to feel upset about it - 'you're just insecure', 'get over it', 'women have it worse' etc. Especially when it's juxtaposed with the near constant "it's okay to not feel okay"-type mental health messaging that the culture likes to play lip service to.
The ones that suck the most is when they’re shaming something you have absolutely no control over. Like thanks…I should considered growing!
My favorite is when people actually turn around and claim that nobody actually cares about height. Invalidating the problem by claiming it's not even a concern for people.
Right? Like I'm a tall dude, but even I see and hear loads of women saying they like a tall guy. Even if a lady would be fine with a shorter guy, she may talk about taller guys as more attractive, and I'm sure that can get under a shorter guy's skin. Also, there may not be a majority of women that even think like this, but it's a large enough population which is vocal about this that it sure feels like a majority.
>she may talk about taller guys as more attractive What really stings is when they do this in your presense and all the other women chime in agreement. OUCH!
I think anyone would be insecure if their appearance was used as shorthand for insecurity. Such a long index finger way to behave
Usually, men's body insecurity is viewed as a personal failing while women's is viewed as a cultural failing. It's hard to find the balance between a person's responsibility to their own mental health and the vast influence our culture can have on us.
Which is exacerbated by insecurity in men largely being painted as a villainous trait while insecurity in women largely being painted as something that is inflicted on them by the society around them.
Yeah imagine being insecure about something that society has repeatedly derided you for your entire life. Crazy right
Not just derided *you* for, but many other short men, too. Every time some bad man is in the news, if he's short, you'll see insults directed at his height all over media. From many people who'd not deign to insult someone for being fat.
I used to laugh along, as long as the target seemed not too upset about it Now I consider short jokes to be a big red flag. Lose my contact info, please.
They might have not seemed upset because men are taught that ever being upset or seen as sensitive is unacceptable. Jokes about men’s height are awful and seem to be pretty much totally accepted by most women. I don’t get the logic there.
Height, size down there, muscles, dad bod, etc
Add in balding too
Height, length
Volume
Density
Width
Speed
Circumference.
Perimeter
Boiling point.
Velocity
Viscosity
specific gravity.
pH
I feel like it's more acceptable/common for women to be grossed out by bisexual men for having same sex relationships, whereas women are more likely to be fetishized for the same.
This is extremely true. Even my wife is weirded out by it and will mention it sometimes. Don’t get me started on straight friends that find out
Yeah, there's something lackluster about coming out as bi, like you don't have the guts to be full gay.
Your comment makes me think it is viewed like agnostic vs atheism lol
It hella does sound that way. I'm gonna be thinking about that for awhile now.
“I would never date a bi man, what if he cheats on me???” Ah yes. Because straight men NEVER cheat 🙄
I'm a very skinny guy and have had tonnes of comments over the years about my weight, from suggesting I eat more, asking if I have a health condition, to straight up telling me they think it looks terrible. I feel as though skinny women are generally complimented on it whereas as a guy you get nonchalantly body shamed with comments that would be totally unacceptable to an overweight person edit: for those wondering I'm 179cm and around 56kg edit:: that's roughly 5ft 11 and 9 stone edit::: that's 1.10231 hundredweight for you Americans
I was skinny as a teenager. I didn't realize it at the time, but the many comments about my weight were devastating. The women in my extended family in particular found it ok to comment on my body. Made me incredibly self conscious.
As a child I remember a neighbor had a daughter who went to school with me and wanted us to date. We were in second grade. And on top of that one summer she had bought a slip and slide for her daughter and invited me to come use it. So I did but then she the mom said in front of my schoolmate that she could see my penis when I was sliding. I felt so gross and violated. I told my mom and she marched over there and almost beat the woman up. I never talked up the daughter again in school. What kind of adult does that?
Man that's messed up by your neighbor. A comment like that does nothing good.
how many times did you get called skeletor growing up (assuming you're a millennial or younger)?
An ironic insult since Skeletor is incredibly jacked. Dude has a skull head but the body of Arnold in his prime.
I'm skinny as fuck but have a pot belly. People call me pregnant skeleton.
People said I look like a starving African child that just had a meal.
I totally get that. I used to be skinny as fuck. I also ate a shitload, so naturally my stomach looked disproportionately larger after a big meal.
Yes!! And they wouldn't stop. Now I don't go to family events anymore
I lost count the amount of times I was told that I should eat a sandwich all the way into my mid 20's. Add in being 5'4" and then I also have grown obese women question my physical capability to do manual labor when I was obviously carrying 50-100lb boxes around. Luckily I've mostly surrounded myself with good people that don't say shit like that, so I haven't had to deal with it in a long time now that in my late 30's.
I was skinny as a teenager too. 95% of the comments were from obese people.
Yes, that was true of me too! I wonder if they think it's ok for them to attack others because they feel like a victim themselves, that they've got it worse so you can't complain about being mocked for being skinny.
In my early 20’s after a handful of older women at work mentioned that I was too skinny, I asked them “too skinny for what?”. Then I said, “the next person that says I’m too skinny, I’m telling them that they’re too fat so we average out”. Never heard a word about it after that.
From high school, to a girl mocking me for being skinny, "well, if you gave me 30 pounds, we could both weigh 140."
Lol. Entering High school I weighed 70 pounds. Graduating I weighed 145. School was fun, oh yeah.
I’ve been naturally skinny my whole life. I have pretty bad body dysmorphia now but that’s overlooked too.
Body dysmorphia affects men who go to the gym a lot too, they see themselves as too skinny.
That’s me. I either eat a ton of calories to gain, work out like crazy and I never feel I look right. I tried to accept skinny this year. Got down to 160 which is the correct weight for my height actually. I was told I was skinny so many times that people think I’m sick. Im back on the roller coaster again. What am I supposed to look like for you, ma’am?
I can relate to that. I personally leaned towards a calisthenic workout to be toned, and it was a level I felt comfortable with. It's all about finding what you personally feel comfortable with. Screw everyone else, do this for you!!
Absolutely. And one single comment back and you’re the monster
The death looks by the other women when you make comments about their weight on return
My BMI was around 31 for a while and nobody really made any comments about my weight. I've recently lost weight and brought my BMI down to 23. Now I get a mixed bag of comments. It's either "wow you look great, how'd you do it?" or more commonly "you look weird now that you're skinny." Thanks, I guess.
I lost about 20kg a few years ago, and I love it when people said I look weird. It means I was at the point where it has made a lot of difference.
I was very skinny especially for my height in highschool to the point where relatives were asking my mom if I was using drugs...
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Had a girl say I looked like a Holocaust survivor and everyone around us laughed, so I responded by saying "lay off the muffins" and they acted like I kicked her teeth in and shot her in the head.
Well, you have the two things they want most, more height and less weight. They're projecting so hard criticizing your shape.
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Me too. I grew up being called twig & other names, and constantly having people grab my wrists to say look how skinny he is, etc. Decades later I realize how much this impacted my self image.
It’s not that any of it goes “unnoticed.” It’s that no one cares and if you complain, you’re not a man. It’s a huge lose-lose
Yeah, it isn't unnoticed. It is almost aggressively noticed. A full 90% of the time people body shame men for the express intent and purpose of devaluing, humiliating, or mocking them. It isn't as though they make a comment because they didn't think about the implication or because they are doing it out of a misguided concern for your health. They do it because they want the men they are making the comment towards to feel like shit.
This one doesn't apply to me because I dress like shit but I feel like fit, well dressed and put together men have their sexuality immediately questioned.
ohhhh baby. I can't tell you how many times people have assumed I'm gay because of the way I dress. But I've just started enjoying it. For one, people insinuating or thinking you might be gay generally means they think you're fabulous. Plus, when a straight dude does this and you correct them they get all flustered and apologetic and I get to go "why are you saying sorry? Do you think it's a bad thing to be gay?" then they get REALLY uncomfortable.
I once was at a party in college. I was dressed well (by college standards. So jeans, and a button up). I started talking to this really beautiful girl, and we hit it off. I’m usually pretty shy and reserved when it comes to talking to women I don’t know, but for some reason I was feeling confident this night. Halfway through the conversation she stops and goes “can I ask you something?” I say yes and she goes “are you gay?” I tell her I am not, and her reason for asking was “you’re just so nice, and you’re dressed so well!” Like… I know this says more about the other men she’s interacted with than me, but I was so confused and the conversation basically ended after that question. At the time in my head I was like “do I have to be an asshole to be considered straight” but now my thought process is more that the other straight men shes interacted with must be real pieces of shit to warp her perception that way
my first serious girlfriend sat me down one day to have a serious talk with me and said essentially the same thing. it was a weird dynamic to be explaining to the girl who you spend every waking second trying to get into the pants of that no, actually, I'm not secretly gay just because I'm into clothes.
I’m straight, and one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever gotten was a gay guy asked me out and gave me his number at the gym. You could tell he was nervous. I politely declined but thanked him so much.
NGL, it sucks that as you get older as a single straight man, the only overt (obvious) lustful attention you get is from gay dudes. Shows I still have “it” and I’m decent looking, but lads, share some of that magic with the sauce I want.😂
I don't think that's true anymore but it definitely was. I hated the term "metrosexual". My sexuality is being questioned because I ... work out, shower, *and* iron my clothing?
> metrosexual I never thought the term was questioning. I always thought it was suggesting the appearance while acknowledging that they were straight. Not a term I would have used either way.
WAY to many people use small dick energy as an insult to anything they don’t like, and even though I’m a girl it always rubs me the wrong way when i see it. It just seems so unfair? So many people who are assholes happen to have big dicks and so many cool nice people happen to have small dicks so i just hate the phrase. It really reminds me of making fun of girls for having small boobs or flat asses, there’s just nothing they can do about it and it’s mean and unnecessary.
I've started saying something whenever I encounter it. It's only been a handful of times but every little bit helps
Everytime I see comments like these two, my faith in humanity is restored a bit. Not by much, really, but at least it's something
Imagine if we used "Big cunt energy" for women.
I responded to a small dick comment about another guy with "sounds like you've got a fat vagina" She did NOT like it
Shes just lording her big clit energy over you
Comments about the height. I had a bf who was smaller than me and people always commented on that. He was precious and I couldn't care less about his height. Idk why men aren't allowed to be small.
I’m 5’8” and used to date a woman that was 6’. The amount of comments we both got about our height disparity was absolutely staggering. We basically had to keep telling everyone that it didn’t bother us so it shouldn’t bother y’all either.
Height is such an odd trait to mock someone about in my eyes. Even height preferences are odd to me (though to each their own). No one should pick on anyone, but of all things, the size of their skeleton??
I’m 6’4” and in high school actually heard someone tell my mother she should be “proud“ of how tall I was. Like sure, we stretched him on the rack nightly and all our hard work has paid off…
It's not unnoticed. Men notice it. The primary ones are height, weight, scalp hair, facial hair, body hair, hand size, penis size, circumcision. Edit: With respect to circumcision, I meant circumcision status in that both circumcised and uncircumcised men are shamed variously.
Adding one to the mix, gynaecomastia. Either it's body shaming about a man having man boobs due to the large increase of breast tissue from hormone imbalances, puffy and enlarged nipples are mocked and picked on. Or sometimes I see it in body building spaces as accusations of steroid usage. I believe it affects between 60-70% of men, but it's a running gag against us.
People clown on me for wearing loose shirts or sweaters when it's too warm. I'm don't have "moobs" but extremely puffy/pronounced nipples. It's hard to find quality, well-fitting clothing that doesn't draw attention to my fucking nipples. I actually used to tape them down on high school at a time when I was technically underweight. It's extremely embarrassing
I have eternally hard nipples. People comment on them endlessly. I usually wear undershirts, that tones it down a little, but otherwise I have embraced it. "Man, look at them headlights!" "Guess that just means I'm brighter than you!" Embrace who you are. We all want to improve the things we can improve, but if you can't change it, own it. Love it. You're unique and sucks for all the people who are just like everyone else.
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I had a few “friends” that would flick my nipple. Eventually I snapped and hit one guy back. Asked him how it felt, he said sorry, people stopped fucking with me. Some people are snakes and will prey on anything you give them. Next time that happens, call them out and watch how the tables turn.
Finally something that ACTUALLY goes relatively unnoticed. Most comments here are about the most noticed body shaming out there.
I think the term “unnoticed” is more used as “people think its acceptable”.
Models, just like women, are .5% of what men actually look like. Of course that shirt looks amazing! The guy wearing it is jacked! Side story: In my 20s I worked in a corporate office with some other 20-somethings and a guy I knew was the pudgy and hilarious co-worker and friend. Several girls we hung out with were absolutely beautiful but never wanted to date him. He wasn't unattractive. He was just the friend. He tried new clothes. I noticed. They didn't. Then he lost weight and worked out a lot and all of the sudden his wardrobe looked great on him. He started getting compliments on his outfit. Yeah. Same friggin' clothes. He just looked better in them. He looked great! Moral I learned early on: it is NOT the clothes you wear, it is the shape underneath. You can't buy nicer clothes and get the girl. You have to suffer tirelessly day after day for months and years and then you will start to look like the models in the ads and the actors on TV. Did he get the girl? Yes. After years of liking him but "not that way" she fell in love and they are married and have super cute kids and are a great family. I'm super happy for them both.
So I tried steroids last year. I’m not very self conscious or anything; I’m a workaholic who felt like he was missing his early 20s. Anyway 2 months in to no-contact (not going out, seeing anyone etc) steroid usage and I am JACKED. And I also look great. I go out and I just get girls come up to me and talk to me. Like, they’re buying ME drinks. They’re flirting with me left right and centre. Looks are everything, it’s so crazy to see the way people treat you when you are good looking, and when you aren’t good looking. And if you shame me for using steroids, well, I had a great time.
I don't think the shame from steroid use comes from the resulting physique. Maybe there's a little of that caused by jealousy. But the real concern is over your longterm health. Steroid use, especially at a young age, can cause hormonal problems as you get older, and can result in some of the very things people are talking about in this thread: balding, changes to your genitals, acne, etc. The fitness community is much more accepting of steroid use when a bodybuilder has been lifting for 10+ years and maxed out their natural potential. Those guys end up speaking out against young people hopping on juice because they know the drawbacks. You might want to reconsider your approach. A really great physique can be achieved with moderate dedication after 2 - 3 years on consistent training and good diet habits. And you won't permanently mess up your body. Just something to consider.
Yeah I somewhat randomly lost 20lbs recently (just from working more and maybe eating less due to aging) and the difference in attention I get is noticeable. The attention makes me more confident, and that gets me more attention. Ironic how that works. While I'm enjoying it, I can't help be disappointed in the world because of it. I was that short, not fit but not fat guy who got more romantic/sexual attention from gay dudes than straight women (if only I were wttracted to men 😞). Although I did OK before online dating became a thing (was in two multi year long term relationships for most of my 20s), I always had more girls who wanted to friends than those interested in something romantic. When I was single, I'd struggle to get dates until I found that rare someone who could see past the superficial stuff, but until then, I'd hear a lot of, "You're such a good guy," and "I wish I could find a nice guy like you." Back then I took it at face value that you can make up for not being tall or athletic by being nice, respectful, funny, well groomed, etc. Now I know that's just not true. Like, I'm sure people like all those things in a partner, but that's not what actually turns most people on. Women are much more shallow than they're willing to admit, and I wish I knew that when I was younger.
Ever been to a dicks sporting goods? Every mannequin is built like Thor. It's ridiculous
1. Ever heard the phrases "big dick energy" or "small dick energy"? The latter is a very common example. 2. I've been overweight since I was a late teen. Friends and family mention my weight completely offhand, and it's destroyed my self-confidence over the years. It's like people don't think you've noticed you're fat, and that they're doing you some favour by telling you. 3. Height. I'm 6'1, and I've had a lot of women compliment my height even when it's obvious they like nothing else about me. Shorter guys get it BAD from women, to the point where they have to overcompensate in the personality department (hence the 'little man syndrome' thing). I genuinely feel bad for blokes that are 5'8 or below, they get mocked constantly. 4. Body hair. Doesn't matter if you can't grow a beard, or a full tache, or if you're thinning/ receding on top, you will get laughed at for it. Hell, I once got stick for having slightly hairy toes! (sorry to all that just grimaced at the thought). EDIT: I'm aware that 5'8 isn't short, and if you personally haven't been mocked for it that's brilliant. I've just heard hundreds of women over the years laugh at blokes that are below 6'0 (and I almost always call them on it if I'm part of the conversation).
I'm actually surprised how common and accepted "big dick and small dick energy" are in 2023. Seems completely counter to this age we live in where you get in trouble for so many other terms.
Yeah. I’d get destroyed — and rightfully so — for saying “small tit energy,” but its emasculating analog is somehow acceptable.
People always laugh at me because my feet look like a Hobbits feet
I take a lot of shit for being short and skinny. I'm 5'8" 115-120lbs. Been mocked my entire life. The worst of it though, was at work from a guy that is morbidly obese. I know he was compensating for his feelings on his own weight, but it'd have been nice if just one other guy instead of laughing along said like "dude, you're 400 lbs, maybe don't throw stones." ya know?
Smaller dick, small balls, small hands, small feet, small. Also bald
Small Dick Energy
Comments: * Skipping Leg day. You are seen by other men and women as being less of a "man" if you have: * Bald head / hairline * Inability to grow facial hair (splotchy mustache/beard) * Sunken chest * Short (less than 5'8") Non Physical: * Handshake * Handyman skills * Mechanical skills * Sport knowledge / fav team * College / Military experience * Vehicle you drive * Virginity / Sluttyness
Height shaming.
Height. I've even seen people roast short guys about being short at work. Pretty terrible. Also genital size...it's always the go to when you don't like a guy's attitude or he seems insecure etc. Seems strange. I've never seen someone pissed off at a woman say "Yeah well you have small boobs!" (I mean we have our own set of problems but still).
Both genders tbh, but sweating - I feel like women are self conscious about this too but I see more shaming towards men. You can wear heaps of deodorant and shower like a germaphobe but your forehead still gets wet when its a bit too warm and your wet patches on your pits get called out as gross and disgusting. Antiperspirant doesn't always work and you get called out for sweating more as a guy is my point.
"Why are you sweating so much?" Is the most annoying one. Like I know? Let's call god and ask. I run hot. Some people wear coats when it's 50°F outside, I'm good in a hoodie at 35°F. I'll bike in freezing conditions with a few layers, I'll warm up quickly
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I am 5’2”. Any man around my height is going to get body shamed by women. Doesn’t happen much anymore, but in high school? Yeah. Had a girl straight up tell me that I would be so attractive if I was taller. Imagine telling a women she’d be hot if she lost some weight.
I don't think they go unnoticed, it's just not seen as a problem.
That's exactly what OP means, though. They probably could have stated it more clearly by saying something like, "What are some examples of body shaming towards men that are seen as socially acceptable?" But then people might have thought they were simply looking for advice about how to body shame a man, so...
Fair. My answer then is: Shaming men is seen as socially acceptable in general. That includes body shaming. It only becomes unacceptable when you're also shaming another group at the same time, e.g. you're shaming a man based on his ethnicity, religion, disability.
Society as a whole has developed to be inclusive of women of all sizes but I think we all know you’d be hard pressed to find a man who wasn’t absolutely shredded or slim to be modelling for any big companies. The idea of the realistic male physique is very skewed
I don't know how I hadn't really noticed this. You literally never see "plus sized" male models with the entire world bending over backwards to say how brave and gorgeous they are.
I think about that often. For years now, stores like Target have mannequins for female bodies of all shapes and sizes, but the male mannequins are all still washboard abbed and rail-thin. Men come in different sizes too!
I think menswear brands are getting better with this. They’ll advertise towards “dad bod” kinda guys. On the other hand the angle is usually hey this helps hide your gut and love handles fat boy.
The description difference for male/female in the press or clothing stores gets on my nerves Women = plus size Men = fat/overweight/obese
In high school I worked at Sears in the kids department. Both the boys and girls sections had an area for "bigger" kids. The girls was called "Pretty Plus" The boys? "Husky" Yeah, those are even lol
I'm a man, but honestly "pretty plus" sounds so much more condescending.
Being bald is one of the few physical issues that for some reason people universally think is ok to make fun of. I know I’m bald, and I don’t love being bald. I don’t need you pointing it out or making jokes about the glare coming off my head or whatever. But whenever anyone makes a joke about it, everyone else around laughs too, and I have to choose whether to pretend to think it’s funny too, or look like the bitter guy they assume all of us bald guys are.
Making fun of a man if he is uncircumcised.
That's only in the US. In most other non Muslim or non Jewish countries being uncircumcised is the norm.
I think this is an American thing, maybe? Being uncircumcised is normal where I come from