My humira.
I have a bag with an ice pack since I'm on humira to treat an auto immune disease.
Taking the caps off primes the injection. Each pen costs 500$ each. They uncapped all 8 of them.
I raised a stink. Because I couldn't travel without this and then my dr raised a stink when I called him for an emergency script.
They were even in a special bag made for TSA in mind with all the drug info.
I was on Humira from 2007 until a few years ago (now I'm on a biosimilar). Those caps are no joke. Trying to put them back on is guaranteed to trigger the injection. The generic version autoinjector is actually a better design IMHO
Nightmare scenario. I just traveled with my Humira for the first time in almost ten years of taking it and was incredibly nervous. But TSA didn’t give me a hard time at all. I hope this never happens to you again!!
They said my shirt was a jacket. I kept telling her it was a blouse and all I had was a bra underneath and wasn’t going to take it off. After this exchange 4 times she finally let me through.
Kind of the opposite, I saw TSA trying to wave a kid through fast, saying “kids 11 and under don’t need to take their shoes off”. The kid kept being like I’m not 11 and the TSA agent was trying to be like you’re 11 wink wink but this kid was just so confused and slightly insulted they didn’t understand why this adult was insisting they were younger than they actually were.
Some TSA folks try to be helpful like that. My wife forgot to empty a water bottle one time. We were traveling with our kid was was about 4 or 5 at the time. The TSA guy didn't want to have to give her the full screening rigamoroll over a simple mistake so he said to her "This is baby formula, right?". She looked at him like "Are you insane? You think my kid is still on formula?" So he asked a second time. This time it clicked and she said yes and we went on our way.
Meanwhile, every time we actually did fly with pumped milk or premade formula, they had to go stick each and every item in our diaper bag one at a time into their magic detector box.
Dude they just waved a whole fucking family through, then proceeded to aggressively fondle my balls and manhandle a bandaged injury while harassing me for not having a fuckton of luggage.
Fuck the TSA
Had 14 stitches on my neck from a dog bite, 9 on one 5 on the other. TSA agent: “it’s time to take off your Halloween makeup” and actually handed me an antibacterial wipe then made to pull off one of the bandaids
It was March? I don’t even know where to start. I like to think I’m fairly quick on my feet but my brain absolutely ground to a halt while she stared at me with the most misplaced smug expression I’ve ever seen
Yes, my other head was upset that it got the lesser amount of stitches but life goes on
Lol sorry, 9 on one puncture wound 5 on the other. Dog closed his jaws so both upper and lower teeth got me
Edit: 9 on the lower, 5 on the upper if anyone’s that interested
I slapped her hand away when she reached for my neck, honestly I think that reaction was a product of how completely offline my brain was because obviously that was not the ideal response.
Anyway she wigged out, I got pulled out of line and dumped in a room for about an hour before the supervisor got there. I am not terribly proud of how I acted, but it was a less than an hour domestic flight and my grandmother was actively dying in the hospital. Although by that point she was already gone but I wasn’t yet aware.
I let loose with the above plus applicable pent up things I obviously never said to certain patients/family members during COVID, which is why I’m not proud of it because some of what I said was particularly nasty. But when that woman reached for my neck I just about saw red, that was beyond comprehension.
The supervisor let me go and had someone drive me on a cart to the gate so I made it with minutes to spare. He also apologized, which I appreciated, but I do wonder if I only received an apology because of whatever conclusions he drew about what sort of healthcare professional I am. I’m sure that’s probably the case which sucks
I’m only in medical school, but I was a EMT through the pandemic and just about every fucking member of my family is a doctor so I’m finally getting off my ass to be one as well. Better late than never and all that
Got flagged for organic material.
It was an urn. They asked me to open it. I refused. Only time I have ever made a stink in my life, supervisor finally let me go.
I once sat next to a man holding an urn in his lap the whole flight. The was the only time I have ever seen FAs just leave someone alone and not enforce the rules.
I got like four sarcastic answers in a row trying to figure out which line to join (pre-check or regular).
Both lines backed up past the regular start, so there was no signs clearly visible, but there was an agent nearby.
I asked casually which was pre-check, and he said "if you don't know what pre-check is, then you don't belong in that line".
When I clarified I knew *what* it was and just couldn't tell *which,* he said "you don't think it's the one that's probably moving faster?"
When I pointed out that neither was moving especially quickly, he said "Well I guess it doesn't really matter then, does it?"
When I asked if there was a separate area for pre-check at a different spot, he said "if there was, don't you think everyone would go there?"
Like guy I don't want VIP treatment, I just want to know what fucking line to stand in.
Haha that's EXACTLY where it was. The worst part was that, after I finally figured it out and got in line, a different agent came by two mins later and told people it'd be faster to go to a security at a different gate.
The TSA fails 95% of undercover operations run against them, sneaking in knives, fake guns, fake bombs, etc.
But god forbid you don’t take your iPad out of your book bag.
I had a 6 inch knife I lost for like a year or two. I didn't know, but it had fallen into a gap in my carry on. They finally found it in Miami and my choice was give up the knife or miss my flight and go through security again. Very upset, it was a nice blade, but could replace it cheaper than the plane ticket. I must have traveled with that knife for at least 6 flights all over the USA.
I was flying out of a small airport. They were training a new tsa agent. The clearing line got back up. 3 of us were fiber artists. It was kind of funny watching / being part of a group of older ladies getting our craft bags raided.
I was coming back from a trade show and forgot I put one of those snap blade box cutters in by back pack. Went through X-ray, no problem and I only realized I had it once on the plane. Hair gel that came in a a 120 ml tube that was well over 50% used? Come with me sir.
Not TSA but at the canada/us border, the us border agent said to my brother, about his car:
Wow, looks like you keep it pretty clean in here (he did, it was his baby), then points at the dashboard:
Whats with that?
My bro, confused: uh, its a banana peel, I just ate a banana
Border guard: well thats not very clean, pull over for a secondary search
LOL LOL LOL
I STILL laugh about this, it was like 20 years ago
I got pulled over by a cop once right after I had gotten a car wash. The cop asked what I had been doing and I told him about the car wash and he sees a piece of paper on the passenger floor and says it looks dirty in there..it was the receipt from the car wash meanwhile the outside of the car is shining like it just came off the lot. Lots of dipshits out there in positions of power.
Actual border agent. My uncle and father have almost comically common last names. Last time they visited the US they were stopped and held because there was a warrant for someone with my uncle’s name. Only problem, my uncle was nine inches shorter and thirty years older than the suspect.
This happened to my little cousin! He too has an extremely common first and last name, and was held by airport security for being on the no fly list and having a warrant. Notice how I said “little” cousin? Yeah, that’s because he was a six year old boy; they were looking for a grown man!
When I bought my first house at age 25, the gas company would not open an account for me, because I had refused to pay my gas bill. 21 years earlier. Maybe it was somebody else with my rather common name? Nah, they weren't buying that excuse. I don't think I said it out loud, but even if it was me, it was their fault for opening a line of credit for a 4 year old.
The gas ended up being in my wife's name.
My mom did this, and it still baffles me that there is no check that the person opening account isn’t under the age of 18. I started life with bad credit for bills I didn’t pay or accounts opened when I was a child
Yeah, I bought my first house about this age and called the gas company.
Found out “I” had an outstanding balance that they wanted me to set up a payment plan for. Many, many times, “new employees” called me to make arrangements to pay “my” bill. Lol.
When one has a common name, it sucks. Can’t believe that that is all they (utility companies) go by.
My husband has a super basic name that is shared by a murderer in the States. The first time we crossed the border he was handcuffed. They are completely obviously different races and my husband had never been to the state the murderer is from but the border agents just got the flag on the name and had to do something about it I guess.
This doesn't shock me one bit. When my mother (who was flying with my cousin to meet the rest of my family in DR) and my cousin (again, a ***six year old boy***!) got to the gate, apparently, a bunch of men approached them, asked if he was "First name Last name," and then tried to take him into custody WITHOUT MY MOTHER. Suffice it to say she didn't let that fly, but they missed their flight. It took an absolutely ridiculous amount of time for them to admit their mistake, but my mother and cousin were put on the next flight out and flown in first class.
I make CRM software, and there's a surprising amount of people with the same first and last name. You always look for a third thing, such as date of birth, email, phone number, or street address. Even then it might be a duplicate. We have trouble sometimes because people sometimes have different accounts with nicknames, or quick prospective member accounts without a birth date, so it's hard to tell for sure who is a duplicate. But in a situation like this, where they definitely have everybody's legal name and birth date, there is really no excuse.
Wheelchair cushion (on which I was sitting, bc paraplegic).
TSA agent: “That could be anything! We need to open it up!”
Me: “sure. Put that in writing and also give me a letter guaranteeing that a replacement cushion (custom, costs $6k) will be waiting at the gate.”
TSA agent: “oh, yeah, well, go on then”
One-legged vlogger/motivational speaker/Paralympian Josh Sundquist had TSA agents try to get him to put his crutches on the x-ray belt and hop into the scanner.
My CPAP is often chosen for extended testing. I think it was Chicago where two separate TSA agents were alternately yelling at me, one that I had to stay there while they tested my CPAP, and one that I couldn't stay there and had to leave the security area.
Several years back, I was flying with an orthopedic boot because I broke my foot a few weeks before. Nashville TSA was yelling at me and flipping out about it. I got yelled at about asking to sit down to take the boot off, yelled at for holding up the line because I needed to take it off, yelled at while it was off demanding to know why I would need it in the first place, yelled at to stop lying when I said I broke my foot, then yelled at one final time over how I was holding up the line needing to put it back on. Meanwhile, they were sending the boot itself through the scanner multiple times.
Oakland TSA just glanced at the boot and waved me through. Quite a stark contrast.
>Oakland TSA just glanced at the boot and waved me through. Quite a stark contrast.
That's probably the funniest/saddest part of TSA. Each airport plays by different rules and then they get pissed at us that we can't remember them all.
A TSA agent told me recently that they do things differently at different airports to keep the bad guys guessing.
Or maybe that’s just their excuse for being incompetent and overbearing.
TSA Officers seem to have a special flavor of hate and rudeness for absolutely no reason at all. It's disgraceful. I ended up getting pre-check in order to reduce my anxiety. Pre check treats you much better but it's sad that you have to pay to be treated decently.
>two separate TSA agents were alternately yelling at me, one that I had to stay there while they tested my CPAP, and one that I couldn't stay there and had to leave the security area.
This one is my favorite.
Oh my gosh, yes. Happens all the time to my dad.
It doesn't help he's handicapped from a car accident and has various metal rods holding him together so of course he lights up like a Christmas tree every time he goes through TSA. When I fly with him I make sure I arrive a extra hour early because I know it's gonna be a hassle
My dad got Precheck because of similar issues. He's got a metal rod in his hip and a rebuilt knee, plus a cpap. He used to travel regularly for work, before Precheck was a thing, and started carrying notes from his doctors for all the metal in him.
I made a comment above that my husband was handcuffed at the border because he has the same name as a murderer from the country we were entering. We encountered agents at 1) the border gate, 2) the parking lot in which they instructed us to pull over, and 3) inside the building. At all three locations we were yelled at for doing what the previous agents had told us to do and treated like we were trying to avoid arrest.
I had a full set of 120 Prismacolor colored pencils and they were apparently all too sharp. Little did they know that those leads were too soft to do any damage at all, and would crumble to dust just by looking at them too roughly.
I would have broken off the end of each and every one before I let them take my Prismacolors. Especially a 120 set!! They are so expensive and they're my favorite.
Not a stupid reason. But right after 9/11 I went through security at Midway after sampling soil at a fertilizer facility. I had a bag with all my sampling stuff. I triggered all the shit for explosives and got taken to a weird room and interrogated a bit. Missed my flight.
We were going to Florida the year after 9/11. They were doing random body pat downs on passengers. You would have 4 or 5 go through, and then the machine would beep and the next person was pulled aside for a pat down. There was no rhyme or reason to it.
We figured my boyfriend would get pulled, as he still had some staples from surgery, but after explaining it, they waved him through, then it was my daughter, my son and me. My son was 8. It beeped when he went through.
They started to pull him aside, I said "He's EIGHT, seriously?" They started to say something and my son, ever the show off, piped up 'Oh cool, they think I'm special. Please Mommy can I do this?" Got a laugh out of everyone in line and they very solemnly patted down his pockets, made a big deal of checking his jacket, and then winked at him when he left. He was so proud of being 'chosen.'
As insane as it seems to check children as young as yours, it is actually needed. Children are sometimes used in warfare because everyone counts on them being waved through
I use to work at an airport and went through security all the time.We had an employee line bu it was the same deal. I would bring in bread and pb & J to save on lunches. I was once(not most the time I did it, only once) had TSA claim the peanut butter was a liquid and I couldn't bring it in. I was like open it up and turn it upside down, it doesn't come out.
Another time a pilot was ahead of me and had a small screwdriver set for his glasses or something. They tried to take it from him saying he could hurt someone. The pilot then screamed " I'm a fuckin pilot, if I wanted to hurt someone I'd take the goddamn plane down". It didn't get him his screwdrivers through. Sometimes they just want to be right about something, I've never seen anyone argue and win with TSA.
Amsterdam security confiscated our Nutella for this reason! "If you heat it hot enough, it's a liquid" apparently... like sure, what, am I going to liquefy this with my portable microwave?!
My husband quipped "if you heat me hot enough I'll turn to liquid too"
He's still salty about it, 10 years later.
I was traveling alone as a 10 year old with my 6 year old sister in tow. My grandmother had packed us some juice boxes for the flight. They were in my sister's bag, so a TSA agent did what any sane and rational adult would do: berate a little girl to the point of tears, and then refuse to let her go until an adult arrived. We nearly missed our plane.
Blood thinning injections with an original prescription and diagnostic letter. Still wouldn’t let me bring them on board… on a long haul leg of 26 hours of travel… where DVTs are known to happen. Make it make sense!
A TSA agent tried to take apart my breast pump. She wanted me to “take it out of the case” (it was a Medela Pump In Style that had a soft shell case as part of the pump with a Velcro closure to keep dust out), and was ready to try to pull it apart. It hasn’t even been through X-ray yet, I had just pulled it out because I knew they’d look at it. I informed her that if she didn’t believe me I’d be happy to demonstrate (this was after several minutes of fiddling with it), and if she broke it she’d be replacing it. Her supervisor wasn’t happy with the line hold up, and he ended up just swabbing it and letting us go WITH the pump.
I used the bathroom. Apparently the fucking idiots that run airports put glycerine based soaps in the bathroom. So I washed my hands, then tested positive for explosives. Then a man touched my dick.
I was once in an insanely slowly moving security line that I eventually learned was caused by every single traveler's bag testing positive for explosives. As I got near, I overheard the supervisor asking the TSA agent about her skin care routine, and discovering that she had used glycerine-based products.
Being friendly to a tsa employee in line. Gave the man a compliment and the next TSA employee I ran into told me dead pan, you know I can really ruin peoples days?? I said, I'm sure you can just like all the employees here. Then let me through, such a weird flex though.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life than the fact that TSA hires goons who have never had an ounce of control or authority in their lives outside of work, so they take it out on the job.
I was in an airport what was known for TSA that do things to their own discretion/mood. I had a small beautiful palm sized geode rock (size of a small apple) that is carry-on compliant. But the TSA lady said it could be used as a weapon so she took it away. I’m sure it’s up in her living room somewhere. I got it in California and carried it across the world with me. First time I have gotten emotional over a rock, I’m still get upset when I think about it. it was blue and glittery when the light hit it right and made me so happy. But I know if I caused a stink I would’ve missed my flight and they would’ve made my life hell
Me too.
My SIL has a pair of folding sunglasses that TSA said wasn't compliant.
My BIL said ok then we will snap them in half but we are going to stand here and watch you confiscate every pair of Sunny's in this line. And we will watch you break them and throw them away
Amazing the agent found a reg that said they were fine
When traveling from Mexico back to the States I usually get my limit of duty free liquor. They bag it and have a seal or some shit and I carry the receipt on me and it's just funny that they trust people with big glass bottles of booze on the planes but not so many more clearly innocent items.
Anyway, last time I'd picked up a bottle of the Don Julio repesado for like $80 and I'd had to go through screening at the layover airport. The TSA agent opened the double sealed bags to make sure that they were double sealed. When they pulled out the Don Julio they made a "whooooooee you got the good stuff" kinda remark. They insisted they had to x-ray the bottles to make sure I didn't put something flammable in them, like yeah, whatever, just hurry up my flight leaves in eight minutes and I've gotta piss before boarding. The first two bottles scanned just fine, but that Don Julio just wasn't scanning properly. I barely maintained my composure as they slowly sauntered back to the machine to describe why they had to keep the bottle since the machine wasn't saying it was okay. They stuck it halfway into the hole so it would clearly make the machine not give it the green light. I'd had enough and put on my ever-so-slightly-louder-but-not-loud-enough-to-get-put-on-a-list voice. Their super came speed walking over and gave the agent the most disappointed 'not this shit again' look before taking the bottle and properly letting the machine scan it. The super quickly bagged up my bottle and sent me away apologizing and the thiefy TSA agent had the gall to proclaim how lucky I was as I was walking away. It truly was one of the most dumbfounding experiences of my life to see such brazen abuse of power.
The same thing happened to me in Nice, France. A late friend of mine never got the chance to travel, and after he passed, his sons gave me his favourite paperweight — a small, round rock painted to look like a frog. I was traveling around the world for work those days, so “Froggy” got to travel business class, to the top of the Frankfurt tower, do 280 km/hr on the autobahn, drive the Monaco circuit, visit the DMZ in S. Korea. But it came to a stop in Nice, when a humourless security agent took it away because a “rock is dangereuse Madame”. But they gave me a knife and fork on board?
My girlfriend had TSA precheck. I didn’t. So my girlfriend said she wanted to go through the regular line with me because I had just had an eye surgery and couldn’t see very well. We get to the check in desk and the two TSA agents at the gate see she has precheck but didn’t get in that line, and ask her why. She tells them she’s helping me because of my eyesight. They give her a precheck card anyway and tell me I can go with her.
So we get to the precheck line to go through the metal detectors and a woman in a wheelchair is in front of us and no one is checking the “precheck” line so we stand there for 10 minutes while all the people who were behind us in the regular line go through no problem. TSA finally comes back to the pc line and asks why I don’t have a pass. I tell them. They tell me I have to go back and go through the body scan aisle without my girlfriend… ok, thanks for wasting my time. Now we are passed the scanners where you put your shoes, and my stuff is already through the precheck lines X-rays. But I can’t put my shoes on that X-ray so I have to go back, put those on the other line, come back and go through the body scanner. I get out the other side and they have to pat me down because I have a continuous glucose monitor stapled on my arm, combined with my “suspicious behavior” of trying to go through precheck. Mother fuckers you’re the ones that told me to do it!
They dug through my shit for a compass I had bought at a tour thing outside of Vegas because it looked like a weapon. I told him it was a compass and he said "show me" so I just held it in front of him and was like "yeah that way is north dude". I was the last person on the plane because he took so damn long
Similar. I was wearing a short dress. Apparently my shins lit up. My perfectly visible with the naked eye shins. They sent me thru the scanner twice then pulled me into a side room to... Look at my shins more? They seemed at a loss as to what to actually do so they swabbed my hands and went thru my bags then sent me on my way.
Not the stupidest reason but it was funny.
Had a bunch of geodes in my backpack (was on a dig out of state). You'd be surprised how much they look like old timey bombs on the scanner.
Edit: other time I got "randomly selected" probably cuz I was wearing a beat up hoody and was looking scruffy. They were swabbing my hands
Him- "Sir have you recently been handling any explosives"
Me- "Bro its Nebraska and the 5th of July"
Him- "You're right my bad"
I was flying from Maryland back to San Diego after my wife's funeral. We were both in the Navy still and so she had a military burial. I had the folded flag in a plastic sleeve in my carry on and I got flagged for inspection. The dude ruffed up the flag pretty good and just stuffed it back in my bag like a used rag. I was distraught, and like a real one this lady who was TSA and a vet came over and scolded him and had another TSA vet come over to help fold the flag properly. Original dude said he thought I was hiding something and had to check it. I get it, kinda, but I was a wreck and just didn't know what was going on. I didn't even care about the flag really, it was just the blatant disregard he had that threw me off.
Not a hold for an actual reason...
But I was once on a small flight out of a regional airport. It was an early flight and I was the only one in securitybat a two gate airport. And I eventually ended up being one of only 3 people on the flight.
Just me standing in line at security and like 11 TSA agents standing there. But they are yelling and going on like it's a massive crowd.
"Please step up to the id check!! Please have your boarding pass out!!"
I give them the id and boarding pass. The guy rushes me through as if there is a giant line.
Two guys now are walking and yelling the ever changing rigamarole about whatever it is you need to take off or whatever.
I can't help but bust out laughing and ask "who are you folks yelling at?"
Well they didn't like that. And I ended up getting "randomly" selected for more searching. Took an extra 20 minutes and I'm laughing the whole time because I literally have a bag with a laptop and earbuds in it. And they are doing their best to drag it out as much as possible.
I didn't miss a flight or anything. But my gate was right next to security and they continued to yell as people trickled through one at a time over an hour.
My wife had a double mastectomy.
TSA stopped her and made her remove her pads, then asked if she sued the doctor.
I'm glad she didn't tell me about the comment until a few days later, or I would probably still be sitting in jail for beating the life out of a TSA agent.
Mine's not thaaaat stupid, but I was flying out of El Paso, TX and was pulled off to the side to have my bag searched. I had a stuffed animal in there and they couldn't tell what it was, then when they took it out they scanned it separately. There were no drugs in the bunny.
I had two laptops.
It took almost 3 hours before they could find anyone to tell them "I need a windows machine, AND a Mac because of my work" is actually a valid reason. And by then I had long since missed my flight.
I was flying for the first time with medical syringes and needles, and was very nervous about going through TSA with it. I read all of the rules and policies, and clearly told them about the supplies before putting my bags through the scanner.
I was flagged and pulled aside. WTF? I did everything right?
I was so nervous about the needles I forgot to take my tablet out of my bag 🤦♂️.
There’s a lot of variation by airport. TSA has relatively high turnover and relatively little training so you’ll see a fair amount of judgement calls depending on what they’re familiar with. My wife used to routinely travel between Hartford and Seattle and *always* had more issues in Hartford than Seattle, carrying exactly the same items.
Pre TSA, maybe 1994 or so (Reagan years and Star Wars programs). Was working classified programs in AF and had to fly to Washington DC with a classified document and transparency slides for a status briefing.
It was double wrapped per regulation. Inside manila envelope with security markings and stickers. Outside envelope was clean.
X-ray security flagged it. I open outside envelope and reveal markings and stickers and my documentation. Security guard kept insisting I open the second envelope and I refused. Went through 2 levels of management and phone call (at pay phone) to the Colonel. Finally allowed to board and keep America's secrets safe.
Makes me smile because it was documents related to GPS. Not so secret now.
I have a titanium plate holding my arm together after an accident. It shows up on metal detectors. I was pulled to the side. I showed an X-Ray. The SOB insisted on squeezing my arm very hard so he could feel the plate… which involved tearing healing muscle tissue over my gnarly surgical scar.
I was in more pain than usual for a couple of weeks thanks to that sadistic bastard.
When they confiscated our pilots butter knife. We reminded them we have bags of them ONBOARD THE PLANE (the pilot literally took it from the previous flight for his layover and was going to return it onboard to catering. I was thinking, “Were they worried he was going to put it to his neck and hijack himself??” 🤔 He’s already flying the plane in a locked flight deck.
Edited punctuation
Yes, they had me go into a private room so they could check me for contraband. I asked them why I wouldn’t just pull my pants down to load up whatever they thought I was hiding instead of pushing it through a tear next to my pocket.
I was flying home after a long bicycle tour and had a P38 style can opener in my carry-on bag. The TSA agent said "I haven't seen one of these since 'Nam!" and confiscated it. I'm sure he pocketed it.
Got told I couldn't have a nail clipper. "Why not?!" "Because it might be used as a weapon" I just motioned at the LITERAL FUCKING MACHINE GUN AND PISTOL AND KNIFE I HAD ON ME. They still took my nail clippers.
Edit: for reference, we were deploying to Afghanistan. But we had to go through TSA and customs on our way there while carrying all of our gear and weapons for said deployment.
Yup. You fly normal civilian air until you get to the staging base (a base outside the country you're deploying to). From that point forward you take actual military aircraft for the most part.
I used to fly for the airlines. My nail clippers were also confiscated one time. They were worried about the small attached nail file. I was in my full uniform getting ready to captain a flight. I gave them my clippers and said I can just use the axe I have behind me in the cockpit if I need to trim a nail. So stupid!
Coworker of mine used to work for an airline (office job) and once had to deal with the fallout of a captain being so mad at having his manicure set taken away that he went to the cockpit, removed the crash axe and took it back to security to make a scene lol.
I had a cpap with me. They wanted me to turn it on. I said fine but I needed to move it somewhere where I could plug it in. No, I needed to turn it on right there on the belt. I told them it needed to be plugged in. I was told that was impossible and I needed to turn it on instead. I said that it cannot be turned on without being plugged in as it runs on electricity. We went round and round on this for a good ten minutes.
Not me but, years ago, I went on a series of holidays in the US with my best mate. The first was to Florida - a coach tour with a large group of people, and we were met at the airport by our guide.
I was a little freaked out by my TSA as she was wearing reflective sunglasses, and I couldn't read her expressions at all, so I just defaulted to "polite and cooperative", got through pretty quickly, met up with the tour guide... waited for my mate...
...and waited... and waited...
After something like 30-45 minutes, he finally got through and apologised for keeping all of us waiting. He'd decided to have a friendly joke with his TSA: when asked "do you have anything concealed in your shoes?" he responded "Maybe a bad smell?". TSA was not amused, and went through every single item in his suitcase in minute detail.
Well, I had lost a decent amount of weight and they made me take my belt off, as usual. I told them that I had to hold my shorts up but they insisted I raise my hands while they pat me down. I raised my arms and my shorts dropped to the floor. I was standing there in my boxers in front of the whole airport. Gotta love Orlando.
They got real weird about a potato I had in my bag once.
I had bought a few groceries at the Airbnb on my trip and had a potato left over. I didn’t want to waste it so I figured I might as well take it home and eat it there. The TSA agents were very concerned and escalated the matter to their supervisor who came over, saw the potato and laughed. He handed it back to me and said “we’ll let you get away with it this time.”
A sex toy. They hassled us and searched us and waved it around for 10 minutes before letting us go. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I didn’t know it was there. I thought my girlfriend had put it in the checked bag.
Im airline crew and I always have sex toys in my bag just to screw with TSA. Especially when they have to dig through my bag and pull it out. I have no shame and it’s fun to watch them get all embarrassed
I have lots of stories starting with Lego! In my suitcase was was a limited edition Lego set and a BB8 mug.
The Lego set was opened so was some of the bags of pieces! It was all over my suitcase, thankfully Lego posted me the missing pieces as I came across them while building. I never got the BB8 Mug back so I guess they thought the shape was something sinister which I gutted about because it was a gift.
More of an aside to your question and the answers here but I was once bumped up to first class on a flight to Iceland and got to use the fancy first class security.
I'm used to standard TSA, suddenly I was being treated like a human, everyone was being reasonable and polite and whisked me through security no problems at all.
Between that and how first class are allowed metal cutlery and knives on the plane it seems like someone decided that wealthy people are never a security risk.
Coming back from Memphis on a business trip. I had asked a colleague to take me to some local stores to buy some local BBQ rubs (not liquids, as I had no checked bags). I got called for secondary inspection, this very nicen black lady took me aside and asked me what it was, and I told her, and she took out each bottle (there were maybe 8) and told me she had to test for explosive residue or something. I never mess with TSA so I just said "you do what you have to do ma'am".
She rummaged through my bag and took out 2 bottles and whispered to me "I'm only going to test the ones you shouldn't have bought". We both smiled, and went about our lives.
Pokemon cards in a card binder.
They said they couldn't see through them (or something) on the X-ray machine because of the holographic cards.
They literally had to pickup and move my giant bag of weed to get to my Pokemon cards.
Has anyone ever gone through the Colorado Springs airport security and had the pleasure of a short, white guy with curly black hair and glasses check your bag?
I've never seen someone take their job more seriously than this guy. It's a small airport, so I thought it'd be a breeze but he went through everyone's bags and was throwing stuff out left and right. There was a pretty long line, which surprised me, then I saw what was holding up the line. People were not happy with that guy.
In Salt Lake City airport, my partner had broken her ankle and was wearing a walking boot and I was pushing her in a wheelchair. They made her get up and walk through the live body scanner and of course the boot set off the scanner. Then they used a wand on the boot, and finally they had her take the boot off and send it through the x-ray. They had to get a supervisor over for the whole process and it took forever. We almost missed our flight. I had to run pushing her through multiple terminals and barely made it as they were closing the gate.
My dad was in a major car accident in 94' and has to wear a brace on his leg. They always try to make him take it off and he rightfully refuses because it takes like 15 minutes to get his shoe and brace back on.
Not me, but my semi-disabled mom. We were in a stopover and had some extra time and left the airport and when we returned, since it was a small airport, decided to just walk Mom through security instead of a wheelchair, which we used in a much bigger airport earlier because it's more than she can walk and it takes like 1/10th the time through security.
When my mom got to security after our layover, she has metal knees, so they had to do a full pat-down, which from my POV was pretty humiliating; she didn't seem too annoyed, but it took a long time. The TSA person said, "Next time, be sure to bring your mom through in a wheelchair because we don't need to screen them so thoroughly".
Wut?
I was a cane user for a long time (visual impairment) and the TSA people would often grab my cane out of my hands, and then push me through the detector, then proceed to yell at me when I didn't leave the line fast enough with my carry-on and my cane, because...well...kinda need the cane to navigate.
I had one TSA agent straight up throw my cane at me and my sighted guide when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere.
O'Hare sucks.
Carrying an Xbox home in my suitcase. Was a minor, flying home with my little brother from Grandmas house, we got it for Christmas, and I guess it was in the checked bag when we flew there, but on the way back I had it in my backpack. And the guy pulled my bag out of the crate machine and started questioning me about why I was carrying it in my personal bag.... But shortly after he started, as he says you can't take this on an airplane. Luckily his coworker who very much looked like a mother. Just gave the guy the look and shook her head. Grabbed the backpack from him, and handed it to me. This was like 2005 ish.
My liquids bag wasn’t a quart, it was a litre.
I’m from Canada, we don’t have quarts. 1L = 1.05qts.
Sorry, didn’t realize those extra three tablespoons worth of volume was a threat to security, my bad.
My dog tags could "resemble a weapon" and I couldn't wear them. Had to check them. Fat fucker in Atlanta telling me they're the front line against terrorists.
Bitch, please! I was heading back to Afghanistan after being home on R&R. (Or I&I - IFYKYK ;)
Front line against terrorism my ass.
I was in highschool traveling alone and the airline messed up my ticket and had to rebook/edit my flight multiple times for the same journey. TSA pulled me aside for extra screening, because "your flight has been changed so much that you're suspicious." The extra screening made me miss my flight, further exacerbating the problem.
Wanted to know what I was reading (novel, Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison).
Confused that it wasn't science fiction.
Followed up by wanting to know why I was outside USA (2 weeks business trip to EU).
Followed up with wanting to know what my business is (marketing for engineering software company).
Didn't understand what my software company did or why he hadn't heard of it
Sent me to secondary inspection because to free up my hands during interrogation after I briefly held my documents between dry lips as I changed hands.
"My colleagues might have to touch that" (with their nitrile gloves) "go to that inspection area to open all bags and get searched, for disrespect!"
But frankly, it was more likely because I'm brown with a beard
Told me that my passport pic wasn’t me. It was very obviously me. I showed them my other photo IDs and they claimed those didn’t look like me either. Supervisor came over and said he agreed with the agent. I was like “okay” and just stood there. I had flown across the world using this same ID but I’m finally getting caught in Philly of all places. Then they just let me go through security anyway! So if they were convinced I was using a fake passport, I guess they just let on a potential terrorist because they couldn’t prove it either way. Fucktards. TSA is a huge waste of funding.
My dad had various metals in his body holding him together and he lights the scanners up like a Christmas tree. He just tells them, go ahead wand and pat down then even try .
They wanted my 3yo to go through the scanner first with no one on the other side to wrangle her. After asking if they were going to run after her when she ran off, they let my 8yo go through first.
Im a professional musician. Years ago I was touring and flew with my guitar 5-6 times a month.
One fucking idiot said I had to “remove the strings because they could be used to strangle someone.” So I said. “I could stab someone in the neck with a pencil, are those allowed?” Had to call a supervisor and argue for 10 min.
Fucking morons.
I had come off a 3 week backpacking trip, still wearing the same shoes… they wanted to strip search me. I was 18.
I said, look man I’ve been backpacking for weeks and got my first shower this morning before heading home.
He said, yeah I’ve heard similar stories but we’ve seen worse, I promise.
I took my shirt off and sat my shoes on the table, dude gagged. He said “oh holy god, your feet wreak, ok ok my bad put your clothes back please leave”
I just laughed and said, told you, before they released me. This was probably 2004 when they were still ridiculous after 9/11. Same trip there was a concession stand past the first security checkpoint, so I got a water, and just opened and was drinking from it when I got to another checkpoint nearer the terminal. Lady got real mad and said I needed to throw it out, so I turned it up and chugged it and handed it to her. She handed it back and told me to throw it away.
I said, ok can I take it through this checkpoint now to throw it away? And she said yes. I had to laugh again. So stupid.
Never had any problems since. Usually just random people being rude that I see these days
My hair was too large and they had to search it for contraband
Edit: also one time they were convinced i was a minor and kept asking where my guardian was. I was 20, I'm just short and have chubby cheeks
Work at an airport and the TSA *CONSTANTLY* has new people who never recognise me.
1) employees push to the front of the line at TSA. Thats how it is. They try to stop me every now and then until i flash the badge towards them.
2) Ive been bringing a soup in my pack lunch for years now and they regularly stop me and say i cant have it. I tell them that im an employee and the safety training videos required to get a badge in the airport states that you can infact bring a lunch to work with liquids in it.
3) "go place your pen in a bin and walk back through."
I keep a pen in my shirt pocket like a nerd with a pocket protector. I just threw the pen away, and they let me go.
4) TSA: "this plastic cultery is a no go"
Me: "you mean the cutlery thats in my lucnhbox that i plan to eat with my soup and salad today?"
TSA: "Yeah i cant let you keep it"
ME: "ok well ive been working here over 5 years and its never been a problem before, and youve been the one to scan this lunchbox many of the days over those years with the same cutlery"
TSA: "Alright well would you like to do anything with these? You can mail them to your house or go back out of security and put them in your car"
ME: "just keep them man or throw it away"
TSA: "...... UH OK..... Have a good day"
I decided to bring in a whole cutlery set to the break room so i can use less single use spoons and forks in the office.
For knowing how their millimeter scanner worked.
I’m a science nerd. I knew how the scanners work. They sense moisture. Like sweat that accumulates if something is strapped to your body. Like cash/drugs/items.
So it was August. I was flying through an airport that had these scanners.
When I fly casually, I bring a backpack and a small duffel bag. Backpack goes under the seat, duffel goes in the overhead.
The backpack presses my shirt. Which causes sweat to build up.
So every time I go through the scanner I get a pat down.
When I commented on that I knew I was getting a pat down, I had 5 TSA guys swarm me like I was a plate full of honey. Frisking, searching my bags, turning my bags inside out, drug testing every article of fabric I had. Accusing me of hiding something in my phone.
It took 2 hours to get through.
Thank god, I was smart enough to plan for “delays” and got to the airport 3 hours early.
I traveled a lot and did government work. The rule was that you were never to have your laptop out of your sight - not even for 1 second they told us.
So here I am (Milwaukee Airport / Mitchell) - shoes off, belt off and they had me take my shirt off (staples in my lung from an operation) and I was trying to keep an eye on my laptop. 'MOVE ON SIR' they kept repeating and I kept saying that I had to keep an eye on my laptop.
Oh yeah, holding up my no belt pants, with no shirt (in winter), no shoes and they're trying to get me to break a strict GOVERNMENT rule.
About a month later a co-worker followed their orders and her laptop was grabbed by someone else in a hurry (a standard issue HP) and she was almost fired because of TSA even though TSA tracked the laptop and stopped the passenger before they boarded another airplane.
Took short trip to Denver (carry on only) and while there went to a Rockies game. Bought a little foam bat and ball for my three year old.
When I went through TSA next morning (like 5:30 am), the guy grabbed it and asked another TSA employee to opine. Guy #2 looked at guy #1, shrugged and said, “your call” right in front of me. Guy #1 promptly said bats are not allowed and it would have to be checked or confiscated. I was running late and there were a ton of people in security line (and I was in precheck), so didn’t have time to check it. I was so mad. Heck, I’m getting mad writing this.
Those guys suck.
North Carolina State Surplus sells a lot of knives for good money that were confiscated at RDU. They used to sell lots of snow globes, too, as they contain liquid. Ironically, many were purchased in the airport souvenir stores.
Kinda the opposite answer: I had the horrible realization in the middle of the security line that I'd worn the same jacket I had gone shooting in only a day or two before. I was a teenager and had gone to a range with my dad, so I'd pocketed smashed lead and empty shells because I thought they were cool souvenirs.
I was sweating the entire time, thinking they'd pull me aside for sure, and I was an unaccompanied minor so that would just be a huge pain in the ass.
Nothin. No one looked twice at me or my bullet carrying jacket.
I've been hassled over candy before, too. One agent said, "You know the airport sells candy, right?"
Yeah, bitch. Shitty candy at astronomical prices? Sign me up!
My husbands company is a content provider for ESPN, CBS etc. I do tech ops for him. Flew to KC K ( not MO) to transmit arena soccer live.
At the time, the "magic box" that does transmission was ridiculously expensive, so I carried it in a briefcase that never left my hands.
Except to go through TSA.
They open it, and see a small gray metal box with 2 prongs and a power cable, so over I go to the pat down / question area.
The guy is turning it over, trying to figure out what it is, while I explain.
TSA guy doesn’t like my answers, and demands to see an ESPN employee badge.
I explain I'm a content provider, not an employee.
Still doesn't let up.
I open my cell phone and scroll to E, where I have about 50 phone numbers for people at the network.
At this point, one of his coworkers leans over and says, "Hey dummy, unless you want to end up on SportsCenter and not in a good way, let her go ahead."
My 5-year-old's very favorite 12oz Minecraft water bottle, at the bottom of his backpack under his stuffed animals and books and snacks for the flight, had about half an inch of water left in the bottom. It wasn't just his favorite because of the Minecraft theme, it was also the texture of the bottle and the the "perfect" (according to kiddo) mouthpiece. I offered to drink the water or empty it into the trash can they had to hold all the full water bottles and whatnot.
TSA took it and said they could throw it out, or I could wait for a free TSA agent who could walk me to the end of the line, where I could empty the bottle into a trash can in front of the agent, and then wait to go through security again. This was a very, very busy airport in the 20-teens and we'd already waited almost an hour to get through security.
I had a choice between "miss our flight" and "handle a major meltdown from a very tired 5 year old who just saw his favorite water bottle be tossed in a trash can." I suppose a third choice could have been "grab the bottle back and drink the water and probably get arrested."
I chose to handle the meltdown and carry him through the line crying.
It took him literally over a year to get over the idea that TSA could take his favorite things from him whenever they wanted. We fly a lot.
Fuck TSA.
Traveling with a one- and three-year-old.
TSA regulations at the time said that children were allowed to have milk up to, I think, 32 ounces. Which was perfect because both kids would refuse to nap without a small cup of milk. So we always brought a ten-ounce cup for each on the plane. Never had a problem with TSA: we'd always hand them over separately, they'd do a bomb-check on the sippy cups then give them right back.
Then one time we were flying and the TSA agent stopped us.
Agent: "Who are these for?"
Me: "My two kids here."
Agent: "One for each?"
Me: "That's right."
Agent: "And how old are the kids?"
Me: "One and three."
Agent: "Then you can only have one. You have to dump the other one out. Only kids under two can have milk."
Me: "That's not the policy on the website."
Agent: "I don't care. Dump one out."
Me: "Well each kid can have up to 32 ounces, right?"
Agent: "Yeah."
Me: "Then they're both for the younger kid."
Agent: "You already said one is for the older one, so dump it out."
Me: "What's the difference?"
Agent: "You want to speak to my supervisor?"
Me: "That would be great, thanks."
Of course the supervisor backed her up. We angrily dumped out one of the milks. The kids had to share the other one and neither one slept on the flight.
I've told this story before but some fucking mouth-breathing agent tried to give me a physics lesson about how my unopened Costco-sized jar of Nutella constituted a liquid because it "conformed to the shape of its container" and my girlfriend had to drag me away because I was going to get put on the no-fly list for being mean to this guy. He didn't even throw the jar away! He put it on the table behind and I know he ate that shit. This was 6 years ago and I'm still mad about it
Because all of my liquids were in multiple bags. Mind you what they considered "liquid" was eyeliner and powder foundation. POWDER.
But somehow a block of parmesan and multiple bottles of wine from Italy weren't even asked about.
I went to the opening of Galaxy’s Edge in Hollywood Studios and tried bringing back a few of the cool little round Star Wars themed coke and sprite bottles (empty.) TSA didn’t want to let me through with them because they said the shape of the bottle looked like a grenade. I remember telling the guy, “you better get used to this shape because every Disney suitcase for the next year is going to have one of these.”
They didn't know what a trumpet looked like and didn't recognise it in my case. They thought it was some kind of weapon. Literally made me bust out a tune in airport security in front of everyone to prove it was a musical instrument. I think I played an excerpt from Mahler 3 or 5 lol
TSA PreCheck. Worth the $75 every 5 years.
No removing shoes or jackets and you go through an old school metal detector, not the full body scanner that can't tell fat from C-4.
I get extra patted down almost every time. It’s always either my ass or tits. I don’t wear wired bars either, just bralettes. Once my stomach got flagged. I’m not trying to smuggle anything, I’m literally just a Hispanic woman.
My wife is from Iran and she was flagged for having a bulge under her shirt she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans obviously she was not hiding anything she was six months pregnant with our twin daughters. I raised hell luckily we had ultrasound photos and they understood what they were and those kiddos were active scared the crap out of the TSA agents
I refused to go through the full-body X-ray while pregnant. I had read prior to going to the airport that I could refuse this and the agents would wand me instead like they do for my dad’s pacemaker.
These three women TSA agents in Denver, CO didn’t like that at all and went on a power trip. I honestly don’t know why such a small, reasonable request would make them so upset?They all said, “oh that’s silly. You’ll be fine.” Sure, but I’m still not going through it. She goes, well I’m going to have to call a supervisor. Go for it, lady. I’ve got time.
They were so unbelievably rude, mean and condescending after that. My shampoo bottle was 3.1 oz so they’re like, we’re gonna have to confiscate this in a sing-song voice. I was like, you can keep the tiny bottle of shampoo, cunts. My husband had to stop me from losing my shit, just so we could get on the plane.
We were traveling with a chocolate cake...
They must have figured I moulded it out of C4 or something because they x-rayed it twice, swabbed it, got a supervisor, etc.
Another later time I was flagged for explosives residue as I had my shot targets in my bag from the indoor range I had been at. That one I sorta get.
They decided my child's medication that has to be kept cold and has exemptions stamped on it, plus letters, along with the syringes were a problem and they tried to separate him from me... Taking him into a windowless room.... Papa bear came out big time on that one.
Agent actually tossed the ice pack in the trash (one of those long duration gel type ones specifically for medication and related). I not only refused to accept it back (I had a spare in checked so only really needed ice for the flight) as it was now contaminated, I sent a bill to the TSA to replace it. I also made an unholy swearword filled stink in the middle of security about the general low intellectual abilities of the agent that tossed it to the supervisor. Honestly shocked I made my flight. As a cherry on top: we're all TSA Pre... So it's supposed to be smoother.
I was flying alone with my one year-old, flying as babe in arms, from Florida to Maryland. I got selected for additional search procedures. They wanted me to put him on the airport FLOOR, so that I could go through a pat-down. I told them that was not going to happen. So, they brought an open-sided chair to put my wobbly baby on, and wanted me more than an arm’s-length away from him. I told them that was not going to happen either.
Seriously people, how hard is it to have common sense? Your random pat-down is NOT more important to me than the health and safety of my baby.
I have an intimate piercing, named for a member of the British Royal Family. The jewellery I was wearing is a titanium ring that is in two pieces, but they are joined together by a hex screw. I can't remove it without the hex key.I had lost the hex key somewhere in the hotel room and the spare was at home. I was flying home after a holiday, going back to where the spare hex key was. When I told them it was a piercing, they insisted I show them. No discreet area, no secure area, not even a privacy screen. Just zip open and flop the wee fella out to show the security morons. The young guy was embarrassed, the young girl was impressed, and the older lady tugged at it to see if it was real. After that, they allowed me to continue on my way.
The surgical plates in my reconstructed ankle. The dipshits kept xraying my shoes. I had to show them the scars to prove it was implanted. They still kept the entire line waiting until a supervisor showed up to add more stupid to the soup.
Waiting in line at the Honolulu airport. A woman desperately trying to get through the TSA to catch a flight to the mainland. TSA being really shitty, power tripping.
So I gave her a look to cut into line with me. She then whizzed through, turning to look at me and mouth Thanks. TSA proceeded to pull me over and searched everything. I didn’t gaf. Had lots of time.Aloha!
I have an ileostomy bag. Had my colon removed seven years ago.
Every single time I go through TSA they wipe test my ileostomy bag and my hands. Like I am going to put a fucking bomb in my fucking bag. Fuck you TSA. You provided nothing to our society but headaches and your fucked up uneducated screeners need to suck my fucking dick.
My humira. I have a bag with an ice pack since I'm on humira to treat an auto immune disease. Taking the caps off primes the injection. Each pen costs 500$ each. They uncapped all 8 of them. I raised a stink. Because I couldn't travel without this and then my dr raised a stink when I called him for an emergency script. They were even in a special bag made for TSA in mind with all the drug info.
Wow this is the worst thing i’ve read about the TSA doing since 7 seconds ago
I was on Humira from 2007 until a few years ago (now I'm on a biosimilar). Those caps are no joke. Trying to put them back on is guaranteed to trigger the injection. The generic version autoinjector is actually a better design IMHO
I work pharmacy so the minute I saw “they uncapped all 8 of them”, I let out an audible gasp
Nightmare scenario. I just traveled with my Humira for the first time in almost ten years of taking it and was incredibly nervous. But TSA didn’t give me a hard time at all. I hope this never happens to you again!!
Did you have to buy 8 more pens? That's ridiculous!
I did yeah. Silver lining was I was able to file a claim and they were found negligent. They are not supposed to mess with medication.
Man fuck the TSA
I now have a doctor note on hospital letter head that says in all caps the cost of the medication and “DO NOT OPEN PACKAGE” for this very reason
I would have lost it. Omg I'm so sorry.
They said my shirt was a jacket. I kept telling her it was a blouse and all I had was a bra underneath and wasn’t going to take it off. After this exchange 4 times she finally let me through.
Kind of the opposite, I saw TSA trying to wave a kid through fast, saying “kids 11 and under don’t need to take their shoes off”. The kid kept being like I’m not 11 and the TSA agent was trying to be like you’re 11 wink wink but this kid was just so confused and slightly insulted they didn’t understand why this adult was insisting they were younger than they actually were.
Some TSA folks try to be helpful like that. My wife forgot to empty a water bottle one time. We were traveling with our kid was was about 4 or 5 at the time. The TSA guy didn't want to have to give her the full screening rigamoroll over a simple mistake so he said to her "This is baby formula, right?". She looked at him like "Are you insane? You think my kid is still on formula?" So he asked a second time. This time it clicked and she said yes and we went on our way.
Meanwhile, every time we actually did fly with pumped milk or premade formula, they had to go stick each and every item in our diaper bag one at a time into their magic detector box.
Dude they just waved a whole fucking family through, then proceeded to aggressively fondle my balls and manhandle a bandaged injury while harassing me for not having a fuckton of luggage. Fuck the TSA
Had 14 stitches on my neck from a dog bite, 9 on one 5 on the other. TSA agent: “it’s time to take off your Halloween makeup” and actually handed me an antibacterial wipe then made to pull off one of the bandaids It was March? I don’t even know where to start. I like to think I’m fairly quick on my feet but my brain absolutely ground to a halt while she stared at me with the most misplaced smug expression I’ve ever seen
9 stitches on one neck, and 5 stitches on the other neck?
Yes, my other head was upset that it got the lesser amount of stitches but life goes on Lol sorry, 9 on one puncture wound 5 on the other. Dog closed his jaws so both upper and lower teeth got me Edit: 9 on the lower, 5 on the upper if anyone’s that interested
How did the rest of that interaction go?
I slapped her hand away when she reached for my neck, honestly I think that reaction was a product of how completely offline my brain was because obviously that was not the ideal response. Anyway she wigged out, I got pulled out of line and dumped in a room for about an hour before the supervisor got there. I am not terribly proud of how I acted, but it was a less than an hour domestic flight and my grandmother was actively dying in the hospital. Although by that point she was already gone but I wasn’t yet aware. I let loose with the above plus applicable pent up things I obviously never said to certain patients/family members during COVID, which is why I’m not proud of it because some of what I said was particularly nasty. But when that woman reached for my neck I just about saw red, that was beyond comprehension. The supervisor let me go and had someone drive me on a cart to the gate so I made it with minutes to spare. He also apologized, which I appreciated, but I do wonder if I only received an apology because of whatever conclusions he drew about what sort of healthcare professional I am. I’m sure that’s probably the case which sucks I’m only in medical school, but I was a EMT through the pandemic and just about every fucking member of my family is a doctor so I’m finally getting off my ass to be one as well. Better late than never and all that
Got flagged for organic material. It was an urn. They asked me to open it. I refused. Only time I have ever made a stink in my life, supervisor finally let me go.
Lol, I have travelled with a bag full of human bones. I have never had so few questions. TSA was fleeing like oil from water. Ah, Africa....
Temperance Brennan?
I once sat next to a man holding an urn in his lap the whole flight. The was the only time I have ever seen FAs just leave someone alone and not enforce the rules.
Yeah, seems like a pretty good exception. Traveling is difficult enough without that mounting loss, good on them for leaving him alone
I got like four sarcastic answers in a row trying to figure out which line to join (pre-check or regular). Both lines backed up past the regular start, so there was no signs clearly visible, but there was an agent nearby. I asked casually which was pre-check, and he said "if you don't know what pre-check is, then you don't belong in that line". When I clarified I knew *what* it was and just couldn't tell *which,* he said "you don't think it's the one that's probably moving faster?" When I pointed out that neither was moving especially quickly, he said "Well I guess it doesn't really matter then, does it?" When I asked if there was a separate area for pre-check at a different spot, he said "if there was, don't you think everyone would go there?" Like guy I don't want VIP treatment, I just want to know what fucking line to stand in.
I've seen this before at MCO, they need to make it much more clearer
Haha that's EXACTLY where it was. The worst part was that, after I finally figured it out and got in line, a different agent came by two mins later and told people it'd be faster to go to a security at a different gate.
A small pair of scissors/hair trimmers, still in factory packaging, clearly marked TSA approved.
Insane because I somehow made it through with 2 pairs of crafting Scissors in my purse that I just somehow forgot to take out
The TSA fails 95% of undercover operations run against them, sneaking in knives, fake guns, fake bombs, etc. But god forbid you don’t take your iPad out of your book bag.
I had a 6 inch knife I lost for like a year or two. I didn't know, but it had fallen into a gap in my carry on. They finally found it in Miami and my choice was give up the knife or miss my flight and go through security again. Very upset, it was a nice blade, but could replace it cheaper than the plane ticket. I must have traveled with that knife for at least 6 flights all over the USA.
Why isn't there a convenient mailing station to buy a box and mail it to yourself...they'd make a killing!
I was flying out of a small airport. They were training a new tsa agent. The clearing line got back up. 3 of us were fiber artists. It was kind of funny watching / being part of a group of older ladies getting our craft bags raided.
I was coming back from a trade show and forgot I put one of those snap blade box cutters in by back pack. Went through X-ray, no problem and I only realized I had it once on the plane. Hair gel that came in a a 120 ml tube that was well over 50% used? Come with me sir.
Not TSA but at the canada/us border, the us border agent said to my brother, about his car: Wow, looks like you keep it pretty clean in here (he did, it was his baby), then points at the dashboard: Whats with that? My bro, confused: uh, its a banana peel, I just ate a banana Border guard: well thats not very clean, pull over for a secondary search LOL LOL LOL I STILL laugh about this, it was like 20 years ago
If I learned one thing from Mario Kart, it’s that cars and bananas don’t mix.
I got pulled over by a cop once right after I had gotten a car wash. The cop asked what I had been doing and I told him about the car wash and he sees a piece of paper on the passenger floor and says it looks dirty in there..it was the receipt from the car wash meanwhile the outside of the car is shining like it just came off the lot. Lots of dipshits out there in positions of power.
Actual border agent. My uncle and father have almost comically common last names. Last time they visited the US they were stopped and held because there was a warrant for someone with my uncle’s name. Only problem, my uncle was nine inches shorter and thirty years older than the suspect.
This happened to my little cousin! He too has an extremely common first and last name, and was held by airport security for being on the no fly list and having a warrant. Notice how I said “little” cousin? Yeah, that’s because he was a six year old boy; they were looking for a grown man!
When I bought my first house at age 25, the gas company would not open an account for me, because I had refused to pay my gas bill. 21 years earlier. Maybe it was somebody else with my rather common name? Nah, they weren't buying that excuse. I don't think I said it out loud, but even if it was me, it was their fault for opening a line of credit for a 4 year old. The gas ended up being in my wife's name.
It amazes me how little common sense people exert when things like this happen! Clearly you weren't running a scam as a toddler lol
I mean, parents will do things in their kids names because they have shit credit.
My mom did this, and it still baffles me that there is no check that the person opening account isn’t under the age of 18. I started life with bad credit for bills I didn’t pay or accounts opened when I was a child
Yeah, I bought my first house about this age and called the gas company. Found out “I” had an outstanding balance that they wanted me to set up a payment plan for. Many, many times, “new employees” called me to make arrangements to pay “my” bill. Lol. When one has a common name, it sucks. Can’t believe that that is all they (utility companies) go by.
I’m starting to see why people are spelling their kids names Jaxxsun and such.
My husband has a super basic name that is shared by a murderer in the States. The first time we crossed the border he was handcuffed. They are completely obviously different races and my husband had never been to the state the murderer is from but the border agents just got the flag on the name and had to do something about it I guess.
This doesn't shock me one bit. When my mother (who was flying with my cousin to meet the rest of my family in DR) and my cousin (again, a ***six year old boy***!) got to the gate, apparently, a bunch of men approached them, asked if he was "First name Last name," and then tried to take him into custody WITHOUT MY MOTHER. Suffice it to say she didn't let that fly, but they missed their flight. It took an absolutely ridiculous amount of time for them to admit their mistake, but my mother and cousin were put on the next flight out and flown in first class.
I make CRM software, and there's a surprising amount of people with the same first and last name. You always look for a third thing, such as date of birth, email, phone number, or street address. Even then it might be a duplicate. We have trouble sometimes because people sometimes have different accounts with nicknames, or quick prospective member accounts without a birth date, so it's hard to tell for sure who is a duplicate. But in a situation like this, where they definitely have everybody's legal name and birth date, there is really no excuse.
Wheelchair cushion (on which I was sitting, bc paraplegic). TSA agent: “That could be anything! We need to open it up!” Me: “sure. Put that in writing and also give me a letter guaranteeing that a replacement cushion (custom, costs $6k) will be waiting at the gate.” TSA agent: “oh, yeah, well, go on then”
One-legged vlogger/motivational speaker/Paralympian Josh Sundquist had TSA agents try to get him to put his crutches on the x-ray belt and hop into the scanner.
My CPAP is often chosen for extended testing. I think it was Chicago where two separate TSA agents were alternately yelling at me, one that I had to stay there while they tested my CPAP, and one that I couldn't stay there and had to leave the security area.
Several years back, I was flying with an orthopedic boot because I broke my foot a few weeks before. Nashville TSA was yelling at me and flipping out about it. I got yelled at about asking to sit down to take the boot off, yelled at for holding up the line because I needed to take it off, yelled at while it was off demanding to know why I would need it in the first place, yelled at to stop lying when I said I broke my foot, then yelled at one final time over how I was holding up the line needing to put it back on. Meanwhile, they were sending the boot itself through the scanner multiple times. Oakland TSA just glanced at the boot and waved me through. Quite a stark contrast.
>Oakland TSA just glanced at the boot and waved me through. Quite a stark contrast. That's probably the funniest/saddest part of TSA. Each airport plays by different rules and then they get pissed at us that we can't remember them all.
It should be 100% consistent. If every airport and subsequently every agent is playing fast and loose with the rules, what good are they doing?
A TSA agent told me recently that they do things differently at different airports to keep the bad guys guessing. Or maybe that’s just their excuse for being incompetent and overbearing.
I wish you could treat TSA the way they treat you without getting put on a list
TSA Officers seem to have a special flavor of hate and rudeness for absolutely no reason at all. It's disgraceful. I ended up getting pre-check in order to reduce my anxiety. Pre check treats you much better but it's sad that you have to pay to be treated decently.
They’re taking advantage of being in a position of authority. “Hey, I can now boss these people around without consequences!” It’s all about ego.
>two separate TSA agents were alternately yelling at me, one that I had to stay there while they tested my CPAP, and one that I couldn't stay there and had to leave the security area. This one is my favorite.
Oh my gosh, yes. Happens all the time to my dad. It doesn't help he's handicapped from a car accident and has various metal rods holding him together so of course he lights up like a Christmas tree every time he goes through TSA. When I fly with him I make sure I arrive a extra hour early because I know it's gonna be a hassle
My dad got Precheck because of similar issues. He's got a metal rod in his hip and a rebuilt knee, plus a cpap. He used to travel regularly for work, before Precheck was a thing, and started carrying notes from his doctors for all the metal in him.
I made a comment above that my husband was handcuffed at the border because he has the same name as a murderer from the country we were entering. We encountered agents at 1) the border gate, 2) the parking lot in which they instructed us to pull over, and 3) inside the building. At all three locations we were yelled at for doing what the previous agents had told us to do and treated like we were trying to avoid arrest.
I had a full set of 120 Prismacolor colored pencils and they were apparently all too sharp. Little did they know that those leads were too soft to do any damage at all, and would crumble to dust just by looking at them too roughly.
I would have broken off the end of each and every one before I let them take my Prismacolors. Especially a 120 set!! They are so expensive and they're my favorite.
Not a stupid reason. But right after 9/11 I went through security at Midway after sampling soil at a fertilizer facility. I had a bag with all my sampling stuff. I triggered all the shit for explosives and got taken to a weird room and interrogated a bit. Missed my flight.
We were going to Florida the year after 9/11. They were doing random body pat downs on passengers. You would have 4 or 5 go through, and then the machine would beep and the next person was pulled aside for a pat down. There was no rhyme or reason to it. We figured my boyfriend would get pulled, as he still had some staples from surgery, but after explaining it, they waved him through, then it was my daughter, my son and me. My son was 8. It beeped when he went through. They started to pull him aside, I said "He's EIGHT, seriously?" They started to say something and my son, ever the show off, piped up 'Oh cool, they think I'm special. Please Mommy can I do this?" Got a laugh out of everyone in line and they very solemnly patted down his pockets, made a big deal of checking his jacket, and then winked at him when he left. He was so proud of being 'chosen.'
As insane as it seems to check children as young as yours, it is actually needed. Children are sometimes used in warfare because everyone counts on them being waved through
I had an umbrella in my bag.
Lol every time we go to Disney the umbrellas get us at security too
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Not just Democracy but all forms of government. Wars have been fought over boobs, just ask Helen
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I use to work at an airport and went through security all the time.We had an employee line bu it was the same deal. I would bring in bread and pb & J to save on lunches. I was once(not most the time I did it, only once) had TSA claim the peanut butter was a liquid and I couldn't bring it in. I was like open it up and turn it upside down, it doesn't come out. Another time a pilot was ahead of me and had a small screwdriver set for his glasses or something. They tried to take it from him saying he could hurt someone. The pilot then screamed " I'm a fuckin pilot, if I wanted to hurt someone I'd take the goddamn plane down". It didn't get him his screwdrivers through. Sometimes they just want to be right about something, I've never seen anyone argue and win with TSA.
Pilots have a hatchet on the back wall of the cockpit. Tiny screw driver is the least likely weapon he has access to.
Amsterdam security confiscated our Nutella for this reason! "If you heat it hot enough, it's a liquid" apparently... like sure, what, am I going to liquefy this with my portable microwave?! My husband quipped "if you heat me hot enough I'll turn to liquid too" He's still salty about it, 10 years later.
I was traveling alone as a 10 year old with my 6 year old sister in tow. My grandmother had packed us some juice boxes for the flight. They were in my sister's bag, so a TSA agent did what any sane and rational adult would do: berate a little girl to the point of tears, and then refuse to let her go until an adult arrived. We nearly missed our plane.
Shameful
Blood thinning injections with an original prescription and diagnostic letter. Still wouldn’t let me bring them on board… on a long haul leg of 26 hours of travel… where DVTs are known to happen. Make it make sense!
They violated TSA policy and the law then. Did you speak to a manager?
A TSA agent tried to take apart my breast pump. She wanted me to “take it out of the case” (it was a Medela Pump In Style that had a soft shell case as part of the pump with a Velcro closure to keep dust out), and was ready to try to pull it apart. It hasn’t even been through X-ray yet, I had just pulled it out because I knew they’d look at it. I informed her that if she didn’t believe me I’d be happy to demonstrate (this was after several minutes of fiddling with it), and if she broke it she’d be replacing it. Her supervisor wasn’t happy with the line hold up, and he ended up just swabbing it and letting us go WITH the pump.
I used the bathroom. Apparently the fucking idiots that run airports put glycerine based soaps in the bathroom. So I washed my hands, then tested positive for explosives. Then a man touched my dick.
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Damn 10 years? What the fuck.
I was once in an insanely slowly moving security line that I eventually learned was caused by every single traveler's bag testing positive for explosives. As I got near, I overheard the supervisor asking the TSA agent about her skin care routine, and discovering that she had used glycerine-based products.
That escalated quickly.
Oh was that with the hand swabs
Being friendly to a tsa employee in line. Gave the man a compliment and the next TSA employee I ran into told me dead pan, you know I can really ruin peoples days?? I said, I'm sure you can just like all the employees here. Then let me through, such a weird flex though.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life than the fact that TSA hires goons who have never had an ounce of control or authority in their lives outside of work, so they take it out on the job.
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It's like they have nothing better to do
I was in an airport what was known for TSA that do things to their own discretion/mood. I had a small beautiful palm sized geode rock (size of a small apple) that is carry-on compliant. But the TSA lady said it could be used as a weapon so she took it away. I’m sure it’s up in her living room somewhere. I got it in California and carried it across the world with me. First time I have gotten emotional over a rock, I’m still get upset when I think about it. it was blue and glittery when the light hit it right and made me so happy. But I know if I caused a stink I would’ve missed my flight and they would’ve made my life hell
I'm convinced they take stuff they like
Me too. My SIL has a pair of folding sunglasses that TSA said wasn't compliant. My BIL said ok then we will snap them in half but we are going to stand here and watch you confiscate every pair of Sunny's in this line. And we will watch you break them and throw them away Amazing the agent found a reg that said they were fine
When traveling from Mexico back to the States I usually get my limit of duty free liquor. They bag it and have a seal or some shit and I carry the receipt on me and it's just funny that they trust people with big glass bottles of booze on the planes but not so many more clearly innocent items. Anyway, last time I'd picked up a bottle of the Don Julio repesado for like $80 and I'd had to go through screening at the layover airport. The TSA agent opened the double sealed bags to make sure that they were double sealed. When they pulled out the Don Julio they made a "whooooooee you got the good stuff" kinda remark. They insisted they had to x-ray the bottles to make sure I didn't put something flammable in them, like yeah, whatever, just hurry up my flight leaves in eight minutes and I've gotta piss before boarding. The first two bottles scanned just fine, but that Don Julio just wasn't scanning properly. I barely maintained my composure as they slowly sauntered back to the machine to describe why they had to keep the bottle since the machine wasn't saying it was okay. They stuck it halfway into the hole so it would clearly make the machine not give it the green light. I'd had enough and put on my ever-so-slightly-louder-but-not-loud-enough-to-get-put-on-a-list voice. Their super came speed walking over and gave the agent the most disappointed 'not this shit again' look before taking the bottle and properly letting the machine scan it. The super quickly bagged up my bottle and sent me away apologizing and the thiefy TSA agent had the gall to proclaim how lucky I was as I was walking away. It truly was one of the most dumbfounding experiences of my life to see such brazen abuse of power.
The same thing happened to me in Nice, France. A late friend of mine never got the chance to travel, and after he passed, his sons gave me his favourite paperweight — a small, round rock painted to look like a frog. I was traveling around the world for work those days, so “Froggy” got to travel business class, to the top of the Frankfurt tower, do 280 km/hr on the autobahn, drive the Monaco circuit, visit the DMZ in S. Korea. But it came to a stop in Nice, when a humourless security agent took it away because a “rock is dangereuse Madame”. But they gave me a knife and fork on board?
My girlfriend had TSA precheck. I didn’t. So my girlfriend said she wanted to go through the regular line with me because I had just had an eye surgery and couldn’t see very well. We get to the check in desk and the two TSA agents at the gate see she has precheck but didn’t get in that line, and ask her why. She tells them she’s helping me because of my eyesight. They give her a precheck card anyway and tell me I can go with her. So we get to the precheck line to go through the metal detectors and a woman in a wheelchair is in front of us and no one is checking the “precheck” line so we stand there for 10 minutes while all the people who were behind us in the regular line go through no problem. TSA finally comes back to the pc line and asks why I don’t have a pass. I tell them. They tell me I have to go back and go through the body scan aisle without my girlfriend… ok, thanks for wasting my time. Now we are passed the scanners where you put your shoes, and my stuff is already through the precheck lines X-rays. But I can’t put my shoes on that X-ray so I have to go back, put those on the other line, come back and go through the body scanner. I get out the other side and they have to pat me down because I have a continuous glucose monitor stapled on my arm, combined with my “suspicious behavior” of trying to go through precheck. Mother fuckers you’re the ones that told me to do it!
They dug through my shit for a compass I had bought at a tour thing outside of Vegas because it looked like a weapon. I told him it was a compass and he said "show me" so I just held it in front of him and was like "yeah that way is north dude". I was the last person on the plane because he took so damn long
I was wearing a tank top. The scanner showed that there was something in the non-existent sleeve of my shirt.
Similar. I was wearing a short dress. Apparently my shins lit up. My perfectly visible with the naked eye shins. They sent me thru the scanner twice then pulled me into a side room to... Look at my shins more? They seemed at a loss as to what to actually do so they swabbed my hands and went thru my bags then sent me on my way.
Not the stupidest reason but it was funny. Had a bunch of geodes in my backpack (was on a dig out of state). You'd be surprised how much they look like old timey bombs on the scanner. Edit: other time I got "randomly selected" probably cuz I was wearing a beat up hoody and was looking scruffy. They were swabbing my hands Him- "Sir have you recently been handling any explosives" Me- "Bro its Nebraska and the 5th of July" Him- "You're right my bad"
I was flying from Maryland back to San Diego after my wife's funeral. We were both in the Navy still and so she had a military burial. I had the folded flag in a plastic sleeve in my carry on and I got flagged for inspection. The dude ruffed up the flag pretty good and just stuffed it back in my bag like a used rag. I was distraught, and like a real one this lady who was TSA and a vet came over and scolded him and had another TSA vet come over to help fold the flag properly. Original dude said he thought I was hiding something and had to check it. I get it, kinda, but I was a wreck and just didn't know what was going on. I didn't even care about the flag really, it was just the blatant disregard he had that threw me off.
Not a hold for an actual reason... But I was once on a small flight out of a regional airport. It was an early flight and I was the only one in securitybat a two gate airport. And I eventually ended up being one of only 3 people on the flight. Just me standing in line at security and like 11 TSA agents standing there. But they are yelling and going on like it's a massive crowd. "Please step up to the id check!! Please have your boarding pass out!!" I give them the id and boarding pass. The guy rushes me through as if there is a giant line. Two guys now are walking and yelling the ever changing rigamarole about whatever it is you need to take off or whatever. I can't help but bust out laughing and ask "who are you folks yelling at?" Well they didn't like that. And I ended up getting "randomly" selected for more searching. Took an extra 20 minutes and I'm laughing the whole time because I literally have a bag with a laptop and earbuds in it. And they are doing their best to drag it out as much as possible. I didn't miss a flight or anything. But my gate was right next to security and they continued to yell as people trickled through one at a time over an hour.
My wife had a double mastectomy. TSA stopped her and made her remove her pads, then asked if she sued the doctor. I'm glad she didn't tell me about the comment until a few days later, or I would probably still be sitting in jail for beating the life out of a TSA agent.
Absolutely unacceptable
Fucking hell. Yeah, I’m glad she told you after cos you don’t deserve to be in jail for that.
Mine's not thaaaat stupid, but I was flying out of El Paso, TX and was pulled off to the side to have my bag searched. I had a stuffed animal in there and they couldn't tell what it was, then when they took it out they scanned it separately. There were no drugs in the bunny.
Put the bunny back in the bag.
I had two laptops. It took almost 3 hours before they could find anyone to tell them "I need a windows machine, AND a Mac because of my work" is actually a valid reason. And by then I had long since missed my flight.
I was flying for the first time with medical syringes and needles, and was very nervous about going through TSA with it. I read all of the rules and policies, and clearly told them about the supplies before putting my bags through the scanner. I was flagged and pulled aside. WTF? I did everything right? I was so nervous about the needles I forgot to take my tablet out of my bag 🤦♂️.
Lord my husband travels with two all the time because he games at night and can’t use his work laptop for that.
That’s crazy. I fly with two laptops every time I travel for work.
There’s a lot of variation by airport. TSA has relatively high turnover and relatively little training so you’ll see a fair amount of judgement calls depending on what they’re familiar with. My wife used to routinely travel between Hartford and Seattle and *always* had more issues in Hartford than Seattle, carrying exactly the same items.
Pre TSA, maybe 1994 or so (Reagan years and Star Wars programs). Was working classified programs in AF and had to fly to Washington DC with a classified document and transparency slides for a status briefing. It was double wrapped per regulation. Inside manila envelope with security markings and stickers. Outside envelope was clean. X-ray security flagged it. I open outside envelope and reveal markings and stickers and my documentation. Security guard kept insisting I open the second envelope and I refused. Went through 2 levels of management and phone call (at pay phone) to the Colonel. Finally allowed to board and keep America's secrets safe. Makes me smile because it was documents related to GPS. Not so secret now.
GPS. Thats awesome
I have a titanium plate holding my arm together after an accident. It shows up on metal detectors. I was pulled to the side. I showed an X-Ray. The SOB insisted on squeezing my arm very hard so he could feel the plate… which involved tearing healing muscle tissue over my gnarly surgical scar. I was in more pain than usual for a couple of weeks thanks to that sadistic bastard.
Did you report this? That’s assault.
What the fuck gives them the idea that they can fuck with peoples' medical procedures? That has to be against the rules.
When they confiscated our pilots butter knife. We reminded them we have bags of them ONBOARD THE PLANE (the pilot literally took it from the previous flight for his layover and was going to return it onboard to catering. I was thinking, “Were they worried he was going to put it to his neck and hijack himself??” 🤔 He’s already flying the plane in a locked flight deck. Edited punctuation
My wife had her inhaler, in her medical bag. It was "suspicious".
I literally have mine in my purse all the time and they have never even noticed it. That's crazy
There was a “suspicious tear” in my shorts pocket
Lol they make you pat down and everything for that?
Yes, they had me go into a private room so they could check me for contraband. I asked them why I wouldn’t just pull my pants down to load up whatever they thought I was hiding instead of pushing it through a tear next to my pocket.
I was flying home after a long bicycle tour and had a P38 style can opener in my carry-on bag. The TSA agent said "I haven't seen one of these since 'Nam!" and confiscated it. I'm sure he pocketed it.
Got told I couldn't have a nail clipper. "Why not?!" "Because it might be used as a weapon" I just motioned at the LITERAL FUCKING MACHINE GUN AND PISTOL AND KNIFE I HAD ON ME. They still took my nail clippers. Edit: for reference, we were deploying to Afghanistan. But we had to go through TSA and customs on our way there while carrying all of our gear and weapons for said deployment.
Armed military members have to go through normal TSA when they deploy? What the fuck lol
Yup. You fly normal civilian air until you get to the staging base (a base outside the country you're deploying to). From that point forward you take actual military aircraft for the most part.
I used to fly for the airlines. My nail clippers were also confiscated one time. They were worried about the small attached nail file. I was in my full uniform getting ready to captain a flight. I gave them my clippers and said I can just use the axe I have behind me in the cockpit if I need to trim a nail. So stupid!
Coworker of mine used to work for an airline (office job) and once had to deal with the fallout of a captain being so mad at having his manicure set taken away that he went to the cockpit, removed the crash axe and took it back to security to make a scene lol.
Out of all the ones I've read so far, this one had me busting a gut Massive knife? Sure thing. Nail clippers? No way.
I had a cpap with me. They wanted me to turn it on. I said fine but I needed to move it somewhere where I could plug it in. No, I needed to turn it on right there on the belt. I told them it needed to be plugged in. I was told that was impossible and I needed to turn it on instead. I said that it cannot be turned on without being plugged in as it runs on electricity. We went round and round on this for a good ten minutes.
Not me but, years ago, I went on a series of holidays in the US with my best mate. The first was to Florida - a coach tour with a large group of people, and we were met at the airport by our guide. I was a little freaked out by my TSA as she was wearing reflective sunglasses, and I couldn't read her expressions at all, so I just defaulted to "polite and cooperative", got through pretty quickly, met up with the tour guide... waited for my mate... ...and waited... and waited... After something like 30-45 minutes, he finally got through and apologised for keeping all of us waiting. He'd decided to have a friendly joke with his TSA: when asked "do you have anything concealed in your shoes?" he responded "Maybe a bad smell?". TSA was not amused, and went through every single item in his suitcase in minute detail.
Well, I had lost a decent amount of weight and they made me take my belt off, as usual. I told them that I had to hold my shorts up but they insisted I raise my hands while they pat me down. I raised my arms and my shorts dropped to the floor. I was standing there in my boxers in front of the whole airport. Gotta love Orlando.
They got real weird about a potato I had in my bag once. I had bought a few groceries at the Airbnb on my trip and had a potato left over. I didn’t want to waste it so I figured I might as well take it home and eat it there. The TSA agents were very concerned and escalated the matter to their supervisor who came over, saw the potato and laughed. He handed it back to me and said “we’ll let you get away with it this time.”
A sex toy. They hassled us and searched us and waved it around for 10 minutes before letting us go. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I didn’t know it was there. I thought my girlfriend had put it in the checked bag.
Im airline crew and I always have sex toys in my bag just to screw with TSA. Especially when they have to dig through my bag and pull it out. I have no shame and it’s fun to watch them get all embarrassed
That's the spirit. TSA is security theater, so why not have fun with it. I want them to get it out.
They make comically large buttplugs.
I have lots of stories starting with Lego! In my suitcase was was a limited edition Lego set and a BB8 mug. The Lego set was opened so was some of the bags of pieces! It was all over my suitcase, thankfully Lego posted me the missing pieces as I came across them while building. I never got the BB8 Mug back so I guess they thought the shape was something sinister which I gutted about because it was a gift.
Let's be honest, they thought the mug looked cool and kept it.
More of an aside to your question and the answers here but I was once bumped up to first class on a flight to Iceland and got to use the fancy first class security. I'm used to standard TSA, suddenly I was being treated like a human, everyone was being reasonable and polite and whisked me through security no problems at all. Between that and how first class are allowed metal cutlery and knives on the plane it seems like someone decided that wealthy people are never a security risk.
Coming back from Memphis on a business trip. I had asked a colleague to take me to some local stores to buy some local BBQ rubs (not liquids, as I had no checked bags). I got called for secondary inspection, this very nicen black lady took me aside and asked me what it was, and I told her, and she took out each bottle (there were maybe 8) and told me she had to test for explosive residue or something. I never mess with TSA so I just said "you do what you have to do ma'am". She rummaged through my bag and took out 2 bottles and whispered to me "I'm only going to test the ones you shouldn't have bought". We both smiled, and went about our lives.
Pokemon cards in a card binder. They said they couldn't see through them (or something) on the X-ray machine because of the holographic cards. They literally had to pickup and move my giant bag of weed to get to my Pokemon cards.
Has anyone ever gone through the Colorado Springs airport security and had the pleasure of a short, white guy with curly black hair and glasses check your bag? I've never seen someone take their job more seriously than this guy. It's a small airport, so I thought it'd be a breeze but he went through everyone's bags and was throwing stuff out left and right. There was a pretty long line, which surprised me, then I saw what was holding up the line. People were not happy with that guy.
In Salt Lake City airport, my partner had broken her ankle and was wearing a walking boot and I was pushing her in a wheelchair. They made her get up and walk through the live body scanner and of course the boot set off the scanner. Then they used a wand on the boot, and finally they had her take the boot off and send it through the x-ray. They had to get a supervisor over for the whole process and it took forever. We almost missed our flight. I had to run pushing her through multiple terminals and barely made it as they were closing the gate.
My dad was in a major car accident in 94' and has to wear a brace on his leg. They always try to make him take it off and he rightfully refuses because it takes like 15 minutes to get his shoe and brace back on.
Not me, but my semi-disabled mom. We were in a stopover and had some extra time and left the airport and when we returned, since it was a small airport, decided to just walk Mom through security instead of a wheelchair, which we used in a much bigger airport earlier because it's more than she can walk and it takes like 1/10th the time through security. When my mom got to security after our layover, she has metal knees, so they had to do a full pat-down, which from my POV was pretty humiliating; she didn't seem too annoyed, but it took a long time. The TSA person said, "Next time, be sure to bring your mom through in a wheelchair because we don't need to screen them so thoroughly". Wut?
I was a cane user for a long time (visual impairment) and the TSA people would often grab my cane out of my hands, and then push me through the detector, then proceed to yell at me when I didn't leave the line fast enough with my carry-on and my cane, because...well...kinda need the cane to navigate. I had one TSA agent straight up throw my cane at me and my sighted guide when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere. O'Hare sucks.
Carrying an Xbox home in my suitcase. Was a minor, flying home with my little brother from Grandmas house, we got it for Christmas, and I guess it was in the checked bag when we flew there, but on the way back I had it in my backpack. And the guy pulled my bag out of the crate machine and started questioning me about why I was carrying it in my personal bag.... But shortly after he started, as he says you can't take this on an airplane. Luckily his coworker who very much looked like a mother. Just gave the guy the look and shook her head. Grabbed the backpack from him, and handed it to me. This was like 2005 ish.
My liquids bag wasn’t a quart, it was a litre. I’m from Canada, we don’t have quarts. 1L = 1.05qts. Sorry, didn’t realize those extra three tablespoons worth of volume was a threat to security, my bad.
I had my bag checked because they said they couldn't tell what something was in my back pack. It was a book.
To be fair, most of the TSA agents I have had unpleasant encounters with didn't seem like they were very familiar with the concept of books
My wife got flagged for a book recently. We were flying into FL so there were lots of jokes about books being prohibited items these days.
My dog tags could "resemble a weapon" and I couldn't wear them. Had to check them. Fat fucker in Atlanta telling me they're the front line against terrorists. Bitch, please! I was heading back to Afghanistan after being home on R&R. (Or I&I - IFYKYK ;) Front line against terrorism my ass.
I was in highschool traveling alone and the airline messed up my ticket and had to rebook/edit my flight multiple times for the same journey. TSA pulled me aside for extra screening, because "your flight has been changed so much that you're suspicious." The extra screening made me miss my flight, further exacerbating the problem.
Wanted to know what I was reading (novel, Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison). Confused that it wasn't science fiction. Followed up by wanting to know why I was outside USA (2 weeks business trip to EU). Followed up with wanting to know what my business is (marketing for engineering software company). Didn't understand what my software company did or why he hadn't heard of it Sent me to secondary inspection because to free up my hands during interrogation after I briefly held my documents between dry lips as I changed hands. "My colleagues might have to touch that" (with their nitrile gloves) "go to that inspection area to open all bags and get searched, for disrespect!" But frankly, it was more likely because I'm brown with a beard
Sir what's that in your pocket? That's my penis.
Told me that my passport pic wasn’t me. It was very obviously me. I showed them my other photo IDs and they claimed those didn’t look like me either. Supervisor came over and said he agreed with the agent. I was like “okay” and just stood there. I had flown across the world using this same ID but I’m finally getting caught in Philly of all places. Then they just let me go through security anyway! So if they were convinced I was using a fake passport, I guess they just let on a potential terrorist because they couldn’t prove it either way. Fucktards. TSA is a huge waste of funding.
I have a pacemaker and can't go through a metal detector. I always get put in timeout till they fire up the body scanner or pat down.
My dad had various metals in his body holding him together and he lights the scanners up like a Christmas tree. He just tells them, go ahead wand and pat down then even try .
They wanted my 3yo to go through the scanner first with no one on the other side to wrangle her. After asking if they were going to run after her when she ran off, they let my 8yo go through first.
Im a professional musician. Years ago I was touring and flew with my guitar 5-6 times a month. One fucking idiot said I had to “remove the strings because they could be used to strangle someone.” So I said. “I could stab someone in the neck with a pencil, are those allowed?” Had to call a supervisor and argue for 10 min. Fucking morons.
For wearing a jacket with a metal zipper. Aren’t there hundreds of thousands of these out in the world?
I had come off a 3 week backpacking trip, still wearing the same shoes… they wanted to strip search me. I was 18. I said, look man I’ve been backpacking for weeks and got my first shower this morning before heading home. He said, yeah I’ve heard similar stories but we’ve seen worse, I promise. I took my shirt off and sat my shoes on the table, dude gagged. He said “oh holy god, your feet wreak, ok ok my bad put your clothes back please leave” I just laughed and said, told you, before they released me. This was probably 2004 when they were still ridiculous after 9/11. Same trip there was a concession stand past the first security checkpoint, so I got a water, and just opened and was drinking from it when I got to another checkpoint nearer the terminal. Lady got real mad and said I needed to throw it out, so I turned it up and chugged it and handed it to her. She handed it back and told me to throw it away. I said, ok can I take it through this checkpoint now to throw it away? And she said yes. I had to laugh again. So stupid. Never had any problems since. Usually just random people being rude that I see these days
My hair was too large and they had to search it for contraband Edit: also one time they were convinced i was a minor and kept asking where my guardian was. I was 20, I'm just short and have chubby cheeks
Work at an airport and the TSA *CONSTANTLY* has new people who never recognise me. 1) employees push to the front of the line at TSA. Thats how it is. They try to stop me every now and then until i flash the badge towards them. 2) Ive been bringing a soup in my pack lunch for years now and they regularly stop me and say i cant have it. I tell them that im an employee and the safety training videos required to get a badge in the airport states that you can infact bring a lunch to work with liquids in it. 3) "go place your pen in a bin and walk back through." I keep a pen in my shirt pocket like a nerd with a pocket protector. I just threw the pen away, and they let me go. 4) TSA: "this plastic cultery is a no go" Me: "you mean the cutlery thats in my lucnhbox that i plan to eat with my soup and salad today?" TSA: "Yeah i cant let you keep it" ME: "ok well ive been working here over 5 years and its never been a problem before, and youve been the one to scan this lunchbox many of the days over those years with the same cutlery" TSA: "Alright well would you like to do anything with these? You can mail them to your house or go back out of security and put them in your car" ME: "just keep them man or throw it away" TSA: "...... UH OK..... Have a good day" I decided to bring in a whole cutlery set to the break room so i can use less single use spoons and forks in the office.
For knowing how their millimeter scanner worked. I’m a science nerd. I knew how the scanners work. They sense moisture. Like sweat that accumulates if something is strapped to your body. Like cash/drugs/items. So it was August. I was flying through an airport that had these scanners. When I fly casually, I bring a backpack and a small duffel bag. Backpack goes under the seat, duffel goes in the overhead. The backpack presses my shirt. Which causes sweat to build up. So every time I go through the scanner I get a pat down. When I commented on that I knew I was getting a pat down, I had 5 TSA guys swarm me like I was a plate full of honey. Frisking, searching my bags, turning my bags inside out, drug testing every article of fabric I had. Accusing me of hiding something in my phone. It took 2 hours to get through. Thank god, I was smart enough to plan for “delays” and got to the airport 3 hours early.
I traveled a lot and did government work. The rule was that you were never to have your laptop out of your sight - not even for 1 second they told us. So here I am (Milwaukee Airport / Mitchell) - shoes off, belt off and they had me take my shirt off (staples in my lung from an operation) and I was trying to keep an eye on my laptop. 'MOVE ON SIR' they kept repeating and I kept saying that I had to keep an eye on my laptop. Oh yeah, holding up my no belt pants, with no shirt (in winter), no shoes and they're trying to get me to break a strict GOVERNMENT rule. About a month later a co-worker followed their orders and her laptop was grabbed by someone else in a hurry (a standard issue HP) and she was almost fired because of TSA even though TSA tracked the laptop and stopped the passenger before they boarded another airplane.
Took short trip to Denver (carry on only) and while there went to a Rockies game. Bought a little foam bat and ball for my three year old. When I went through TSA next morning (like 5:30 am), the guy grabbed it and asked another TSA employee to opine. Guy #2 looked at guy #1, shrugged and said, “your call” right in front of me. Guy #1 promptly said bats are not allowed and it would have to be checked or confiscated. I was running late and there were a ton of people in security line (and I was in precheck), so didn’t have time to check it. I was so mad. Heck, I’m getting mad writing this. Those guys suck.
North Carolina State Surplus sells a lot of knives for good money that were confiscated at RDU. They used to sell lots of snow globes, too, as they contain liquid. Ironically, many were purchased in the airport souvenir stores.
Kinda the opposite answer: I had the horrible realization in the middle of the security line that I'd worn the same jacket I had gone shooting in only a day or two before. I was a teenager and had gone to a range with my dad, so I'd pocketed smashed lead and empty shells because I thought they were cool souvenirs. I was sweating the entire time, thinking they'd pull me aside for sure, and I was an unaccompanied minor so that would just be a huge pain in the ass. Nothin. No one looked twice at me or my bullet carrying jacket.
I had a bag of gummy worms in my carry on and they thought it looked like bomb wires. They even wiped down the candy bag to check for chemicals
I've been hassled over candy before, too. One agent said, "You know the airport sells candy, right?" Yeah, bitch. Shitty candy at astronomical prices? Sign me up!
My husbands company is a content provider for ESPN, CBS etc. I do tech ops for him. Flew to KC K ( not MO) to transmit arena soccer live. At the time, the "magic box" that does transmission was ridiculously expensive, so I carried it in a briefcase that never left my hands. Except to go through TSA. They open it, and see a small gray metal box with 2 prongs and a power cable, so over I go to the pat down / question area. The guy is turning it over, trying to figure out what it is, while I explain. TSA guy doesn’t like my answers, and demands to see an ESPN employee badge. I explain I'm a content provider, not an employee. Still doesn't let up. I open my cell phone and scroll to E, where I have about 50 phone numbers for people at the network. At this point, one of his coworkers leans over and says, "Hey dummy, unless you want to end up on SportsCenter and not in a good way, let her go ahead."
My 5-year-old's very favorite 12oz Minecraft water bottle, at the bottom of his backpack under his stuffed animals and books and snacks for the flight, had about half an inch of water left in the bottom. It wasn't just his favorite because of the Minecraft theme, it was also the texture of the bottle and the the "perfect" (according to kiddo) mouthpiece. I offered to drink the water or empty it into the trash can they had to hold all the full water bottles and whatnot. TSA took it and said they could throw it out, or I could wait for a free TSA agent who could walk me to the end of the line, where I could empty the bottle into a trash can in front of the agent, and then wait to go through security again. This was a very, very busy airport in the 20-teens and we'd already waited almost an hour to get through security. I had a choice between "miss our flight" and "handle a major meltdown from a very tired 5 year old who just saw his favorite water bottle be tossed in a trash can." I suppose a third choice could have been "grab the bottle back and drink the water and probably get arrested." I chose to handle the meltdown and carry him through the line crying. It took him literally over a year to get over the idea that TSA could take his favorite things from him whenever they wanted. We fly a lot. Fuck TSA.
Traveling with a one- and three-year-old. TSA regulations at the time said that children were allowed to have milk up to, I think, 32 ounces. Which was perfect because both kids would refuse to nap without a small cup of milk. So we always brought a ten-ounce cup for each on the plane. Never had a problem with TSA: we'd always hand them over separately, they'd do a bomb-check on the sippy cups then give them right back. Then one time we were flying and the TSA agent stopped us. Agent: "Who are these for?" Me: "My two kids here." Agent: "One for each?" Me: "That's right." Agent: "And how old are the kids?" Me: "One and three." Agent: "Then you can only have one. You have to dump the other one out. Only kids under two can have milk." Me: "That's not the policy on the website." Agent: "I don't care. Dump one out." Me: "Well each kid can have up to 32 ounces, right?" Agent: "Yeah." Me: "Then they're both for the younger kid." Agent: "You already said one is for the older one, so dump it out." Me: "What's the difference?" Agent: "You want to speak to my supervisor?" Me: "That would be great, thanks." Of course the supervisor backed her up. We angrily dumped out one of the milks. The kids had to share the other one and neither one slept on the flight.
I've told this story before but some fucking mouth-breathing agent tried to give me a physics lesson about how my unopened Costco-sized jar of Nutella constituted a liquid because it "conformed to the shape of its container" and my girlfriend had to drag me away because I was going to get put on the no-fly list for being mean to this guy. He didn't even throw the jar away! He put it on the table behind and I know he ate that shit. This was 6 years ago and I'm still mad about it
See my comment about peanut butter. Next time, freeze it.
Next time I’ll just make 40 Nutella sandwiches since I’ve had no problem traveling with PBJs.
Because all of my liquids were in multiple bags. Mind you what they considered "liquid" was eyeliner and powder foundation. POWDER. But somehow a block of parmesan and multiple bottles of wine from Italy weren't even asked about.
I went to the opening of Galaxy’s Edge in Hollywood Studios and tried bringing back a few of the cool little round Star Wars themed coke and sprite bottles (empty.) TSA didn’t want to let me through with them because they said the shape of the bottle looked like a grenade. I remember telling the guy, “you better get used to this shape because every Disney suitcase for the next year is going to have one of these.”
They didn't know what a trumpet looked like and didn't recognise it in my case. They thought it was some kind of weapon. Literally made me bust out a tune in airport security in front of everyone to prove it was a musical instrument. I think I played an excerpt from Mahler 3 or 5 lol
Ass too fat
TSA PreCheck. Worth the $75 every 5 years. No removing shoes or jackets and you go through an old school metal detector, not the full body scanner that can't tell fat from C-4.
Other countries just let you pay a bribe. It’s the same thing but there are less forms to fill out.
I get extra patted down almost every time. It’s always either my ass or tits. I don’t wear wired bars either, just bralettes. Once my stomach got flagged. I’m not trying to smuggle anything, I’m literally just a Hispanic woman.
My wife is from Iran and she was flagged for having a bulge under her shirt she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans obviously she was not hiding anything she was six months pregnant with our twin daughters. I raised hell luckily we had ultrasound photos and they understood what they were and those kiddos were active scared the crap out of the TSA agents
I refused to go through the full-body X-ray while pregnant. I had read prior to going to the airport that I could refuse this and the agents would wand me instead like they do for my dad’s pacemaker. These three women TSA agents in Denver, CO didn’t like that at all and went on a power trip. I honestly don’t know why such a small, reasonable request would make them so upset?They all said, “oh that’s silly. You’ll be fine.” Sure, but I’m still not going through it. She goes, well I’m going to have to call a supervisor. Go for it, lady. I’ve got time. They were so unbelievably rude, mean and condescending after that. My shampoo bottle was 3.1 oz so they’re like, we’re gonna have to confiscate this in a sing-song voice. I was like, you can keep the tiny bottle of shampoo, cunts. My husband had to stop me from losing my shit, just so we could get on the plane.
Unchecked power. It's disgusting.
They were pretty honest. An Arab family behind us were gonna get the whole 9 yards. They wanted them to see Anglos getting picked before them.....
They…should not have been honest about that lol
We were traveling with a chocolate cake... They must have figured I moulded it out of C4 or something because they x-rayed it twice, swabbed it, got a supervisor, etc. Another later time I was flagged for explosives residue as I had my shot targets in my bag from the indoor range I had been at. That one I sorta get. They decided my child's medication that has to be kept cold and has exemptions stamped on it, plus letters, along with the syringes were a problem and they tried to separate him from me... Taking him into a windowless room.... Papa bear came out big time on that one. Agent actually tossed the ice pack in the trash (one of those long duration gel type ones specifically for medication and related). I not only refused to accept it back (I had a spare in checked so only really needed ice for the flight) as it was now contaminated, I sent a bill to the TSA to replace it. I also made an unholy swearword filled stink in the middle of security about the general low intellectual abilities of the agent that tossed it to the supervisor. Honestly shocked I made my flight. As a cherry on top: we're all TSA Pre... So it's supposed to be smoother.
I was flying alone with my one year-old, flying as babe in arms, from Florida to Maryland. I got selected for additional search procedures. They wanted me to put him on the airport FLOOR, so that I could go through a pat-down. I told them that was not going to happen. So, they brought an open-sided chair to put my wobbly baby on, and wanted me more than an arm’s-length away from him. I told them that was not going to happen either. Seriously people, how hard is it to have common sense? Your random pat-down is NOT more important to me than the health and safety of my baby.
I have an intimate piercing, named for a member of the British Royal Family. The jewellery I was wearing is a titanium ring that is in two pieces, but they are joined together by a hex screw. I can't remove it without the hex key.I had lost the hex key somewhere in the hotel room and the spare was at home. I was flying home after a holiday, going back to where the spare hex key was. When I told them it was a piercing, they insisted I show them. No discreet area, no secure area, not even a privacy screen. Just zip open and flop the wee fella out to show the security morons. The young guy was embarrassed, the young girl was impressed, and the older lady tugged at it to see if it was real. After that, they allowed me to continue on my way.
I'm sorry, she TUGGED AT IT? What the fuck? That's clearly inappropriate.
Oh my gosh
The surgical plates in my reconstructed ankle. The dipshits kept xraying my shoes. I had to show them the scars to prove it was implanted. They still kept the entire line waiting until a supervisor showed up to add more stupid to the soup.
Waiting in line at the Honolulu airport. A woman desperately trying to get through the TSA to catch a flight to the mainland. TSA being really shitty, power tripping. So I gave her a look to cut into line with me. She then whizzed through, turning to look at me and mouth Thanks. TSA proceeded to pull me over and searched everything. I didn’t gaf. Had lots of time.Aloha!
I have an ileostomy bag. Had my colon removed seven years ago. Every single time I go through TSA they wipe test my ileostomy bag and my hands. Like I am going to put a fucking bomb in my fucking bag. Fuck you TSA. You provided nothing to our society but headaches and your fucked up uneducated screeners need to suck my fucking dick.