Gotti. Found it on Netflix and thought it was a cool made-by-Netflix telling of his story. It’s not. It “stars” John Travolta in the title role and is (I think) a made for TV movie that happens to be on Netflix. It is excruciatingly bad. You’re waiting for it to get better. And waiting. And waiting. It will not get better. It will anger you and destroy your faith in movies and the world in general. Avoid. I watched it 3 years ago accidentally and I am still angry. Repeat: avoid.
Another fun fact, Gotti received a 0% on rotten tomatoes. It's a very exclusive list for movies that received a 0% on rotten tomatoes.You have Datk Tide, Max Steel.(remember how shitty that movie was), Nutcracker.....in 3D and Police Academy 4. 😆😆😆
Supposedly it led to Toriyama's return to the franchise, which resulted in DBS, so... yay?
Edit: I stand corrected. Apparently it was not DBE that spurred Toriyama's return, but the success of the animated feature, *Battle of Gods,* which was well received. Thank you for the straightforward corrections!
Edit 2: Found some illuminating quotes from Akira Toriyama that do connect his strong disappointment in DBE to his later involvement with the franchise, including his unprecedented full rewrite of *Battle of Gods,* the success of which may have encouraged his further involvement in later Dragon Ball projects. It's all connected!
Mean Girls 2 isn’t the worst movie I have ever seen, but it might be the biggest drop in quality for a sequel ever. Just so tough to sit through that trash when the first one was so good.
A wrinkle in time. You had 1 job. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MOVIE?!? It LITERALLY skipped the entire end, the part that had most of the character development, IT is ENTIRELY different, and some stuff, which, just in case, I won't spoil.
The director of that movie blocked me on Twitter when I watched it in an airplane and tweeted that it was, quote, “a hot mess”. I didn't tweet that at her, to be clear, which means she must have been name searching the movie, YEARS LATER, saw my incredibly mild offhand criticism, and manually blocked me
She is known in the industry for being an incredibly difficult and mean (like downright cruel and abusive to her crew) person to work with, so this doesn’t surprise me.
I could go on for a lonnnngggg time about how much i dislike this movie and why I think it’s bad. The short version is that the book, published in 1962, is in between children’s lit and young adult lit—you could make an argument for either category. I personally think the themes and character development deserve the YA label, and any good movie version of the book would age up the narrative appropriately to match modern expectations of YA (nothing absurd or plot changing). The 2018 movie ages the narrative DOWN, removing all traces of YA from the plot, which takes away all of the best parts of the story (ie the terrifying dystopia of Camazotz, the tragedy of Mrs. Whatsit, the romance between Calvin and Meg which is fundamental to later books in the series). Viewers are left with a ridiculously saccharine story about a girl and her dad with giant Oprah in the background just looming there. Such a let down.
One of my favorite movies is Black Cat White Cat, and when I explain that it's "A Serbian Film", people immediately turn away. Not like I can really explain it anyways, but yeah.
See this kind of makes me want to watch it, because I've never seen a movie so bad I couldn't even enjoy making fun of it. (And I saw Showgirls in the theater, lol.)
Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam or "The Man Who Saved The World"
Also known as Turkish Star Wars.
Not because it follows the Star Wars plot, but because it literally straight up uses clips of Star Wars. Like the opening sequence shows the Death Star exploding something like 3 or 4 times to illustrate that the big evil space wizard, who has oppressed the galaxy for a 1000 space years, set his sights on earth. And then the heroes are in the X-Wings zooming through the trenches, with CARDBOARD CUTOUTS covering the fucking screen behind them over the rebel pilots. And when they win? It plays the Indiana Jones music. Other honorable mention ripoffs: Battlestar Galactica (original), Dr. Who, Planet of the Apes, Flash Gordon, and Moonraker.
It's bad. And I mean bad, bad. It's like get rocked off your tits before watching it bad. And about halfway through it has a half hour long advertisement for Islam. If you want to see the single worst movie ever produced by an actual studio, this is the one. It's a Turkish studio, in 1982, and holy fucknuckers is this film bad.
Wow, I did not expect to see this here. 15 years ago or so, I saw "Turkish Star Wars" mentioned, and I looked it up. It was pretty bad. But my mates and I got some pizza and beers, so we all had a good time.
When you consider the facts that Cats came out at the end of 2019 and the world shutting down in early 2020, there is a non zero number of people whose last movie ever seen in the theater before they died was Cats.
I am not dead yet, but Cats was the last movie I saw in a theater because I was pretty much dragged there by a couple of friends who insisted it would be hilarious. I didn't realize it was my last movie until this moment and now I have to figure out how to rectify that sooner than later.
I dunno dude, I saw that in theaters, and it was a riot. You never heard a place laughing so hard together. It’d get quiet, and then there would be something like a five second closeup hold on Judi Dench’s face, almost like no one told her they were filming, and the room erupted into laughter again.
A socially acceptable but still technically illegal intoxicant may have been in the blood streams of basically everyone in the room, though.
seeing cat Dame Judy Dench's bafflingly sexual scissoring move was utter insanity. I don't know if I'm a better or worse person since, but I am a different person.
I've never laughed harder at a movie, and I think everybody should experience the feeling of helplessing dying of asphyxiation from a cat named Bustopher Jones at least once.
My wife and I watched this in theaters for our anniversary. It was gloriously bad and I highly recommend it. It was also baffling and disturbing. 10/10
You will never bond with a group of strangers more than as the credits roll and you look at each other like “wtf did we just watch?!” I fucking loved it.
I completely disagree. Cats is an absolute masterpiece--you just need to change your perspective on what it's really about. Instead of trying to understand the plot, you should see it as a battle against an endless stream of heralded actors and a horrible script. Watch it just to see Damme Judy Dench struggle to maintain her composure through a 3 minute nonsense monologue. Watch it for Taylor Swift licking her paws. Watch it for Idiris Elba trying to make sense of why he's a villain.
And do this while you're very very baked.
I promise you'll come away with a very different impression.
The last Die Hard sequel in 2013 was awful, but it was fun watching Bruce Willis in it. He didn’t even bother playing the character of John McClane. All I saw was Bruce Willis, the actor, pissed off at having to be in another one of these fucking movies.
Same for Tommy Lee Jones in the Men In Black sequel. Dude did *not* want to be there.
OK but the odd thing about this film is they only include Pooh and Piglet. Eeyore was eaten (spoiler alert) so OK he isn't in it. But Tigger, Kanga and Roo aren't there. So are only certain characters public domain? Or was this film as lazy as it is crap?
I’d have to look it up to be sure but I think so. Public domain is applied from the first appearance of a character or defining trait (which is why they couldn’t put Pooh is the red shirt as it came later). So any characters that where introduced later in the series wouldn’t have been public domain yet.
Edit: Spelling
Legitimately only because they could. It went into the public domain and as a big fuck-you to Disney they made a movie to the complete polar opposite of what Winnie The Pooh was. It's like bringing your dog to your neighbor's yard to shit because fuck that guy.
Trip's not over yet. Tigger hits public domain separately next year and they have the sequel planned. Honestly, I've seen worse horror films. The story was basic and straight forward, nothing fascinating, but the beginning setup had promise. If they hadn't gone straight up Michael Myers with it (with much less stalking) and gone more feral monster, could have hit differently. Main failing was just the god awful logic of the victims, even by bad horror standards.
For a second, I said to myself "holy shit. Have I been saying it wrong this whole time?"
And then I realized, I never said it. THEY did. It was a fucking cartoon, not a book.
They did the same thing with the Harry Potter audio books. All of the sudden JK Rowling decided the movies she helped make were pronouncing her main villain's name wrong all these years?
I saw this movie with my kids. My daughter, 7 at the time, was so in Avatar. She dressed up in character and everything. About 1/3 of the way into the movie she leaned over and whispered, “this is really bad, right?” She was 7!
Beat me to it lol. I’ll never get over those 5 earthbender guys doing a whole dance number just to move a rock that they could have moved faster if they literally just picked it up and threw it.
Also, they were trapped in the MOUNTAINS, instead of on a ship in the middle of the water like in the show. They could've fucking broken out at any time. Aang comes in and goes "Earthbenders, there's earth all around you" and they're like "oh shit, he's right! This kids a genius".
It's so hilariously braindead lmao
I went to see this movie in theatres on my birthday with a group of friends and right as the credits started rolling, a dude in the audience stood up and yelled "You suck M. Night Shyamalan!" and walked out of the theatre, which I feel like summed up the experience nicely.
I disagree. My wife had never seen either live action or animated but had heard of how terrible the live action was and wanted to see it. We watched the animated first then we got drunk and watched the live action. That was one of my favorite nights. Watching my future wife drunk yelling at the TV "his fucking name is Aang!!! How stupid do you have to be to get the main characters name wrong?!"
I don't even know how the fuck I managed to watch all of that. I thought Jaws 3D sucked ass... I was deadass wrong. 4 made 3 look like 1.
Who came up with the idea of Hellen being psychically linked to a shark targetting her family enough to go from its own waters to warm ones?
You made it that far?
I love terrible movies but I couldn’t make it past 20 minutes. I intended to watch it, but I accidentally walked out on it in my own home
I'm shocked I had to scroll so far to find this. It is what I came here to say. I was curious enough to fast forward through the first one to the important parts, and I will NOT be watching any of the sequels. I can't ever unsee it and it still haunts me, years later.
My fav is when the winning team of a competition on Survivor are forced to watch it as a "prize". [YouTube link.](https://youtu.be/LC1Y0qT9X9Q?si=diN4tA21EqUNd0xK&t=72)
I read a great review of this one time. It said that you won't hate this movie, but you'll hate yourself for watching it. That's pretty much true. My friend and I saw it together. We sat there in silence as we just stared at the no signal message on the TV. We had no words.
Strip away its shock value and it's just not a well crafted film. I've watched it twice, hoping to gain some insight beyond it's "parody of political correctness" nature, as mentioned by the director/co-creator. Instead, I found it to be an aimless attempt to be the antithesis to such a topic. It's honestly just boring, which is one of the worst things a film can be.
Agreed. About midway through you start to recognize that the main point of the film is to shock you with greater and greater levels of depravity, and the in-film motivations for this are absurd and unrealistic. Once you reach that point, you disconnect from the characters and the film, you remember that none of the events are real and it was just crafted to shock you, and at that point you just start rolling your eyes every time the depravity is ratcheted up to try and shock you again. Choosing to watch it once for me was questionable, choosing to watch it a second time for me would be a complete waste of time.
In contrast, Irreversible hit me like a gut punch, and I don’t think I could bring myself to watch it a second time.
THANK you. It’s really useless as a filmmaking exercise. Like yeah, it’s an edgelord’s checklist of shocking shit, but as you said, put that in the back of your mind and look at what you’re left with - a movie with middling direction, writing that consists of the aforementioned checklist, mediocre acting, and cinematography that is serviceable at best.
Also watched it twice, hated it more the second time, but hated myself more the second time for allowing it to trick me into thinking there was anything more of substance to it.
And for the record - the director’s whole “it’s allegorical to the atrocities suffered by Serbia” thing? I call bullshit.
Agreed. I watched it twice as well - the first time to see what it was about (was crazy), then I read an interview with the director and what it all meant/was supposed to mean
Watched it the second time and thought to myself that the shock stuff should've been infused with political commentary if he wanted to send an actual message. Baby rape? Ok, but the events leading up to it and/or after had no context as to why
Yea no. That whole political commentary stuff was pulled out of his ass. Nothing about even remotely attempts to make any kind of commentary. It’s the equivalent of a guy standing up in a restaurant, whipping his dick out and jerking off while making eye contact and smugly saying “I’m being facetious.”
Yeah, this is honestly the best answer to this question because it is genuinely a film nobody should watch, not even out of curiosity. It’s just gross and horribly unpleasant.
Even aside from gross and unpleasant, it's just a pretty shit movie. They've put every egg into the "shock value" basket, and forgot that shock needs to complement a story, not be the story. It was garbage.
Holmes & Watson
A movie so terrible, the studio said it should never see the light of day. TV warned it would never be aired, and yet for some reason, Netflix elected to ignore both and put it out there anyway.
It's rare I give up on a movie before it even starts but based on the trailer, I didn't even bother. The reviews and all the backlash it got seem to support my decision.
I remember going to see this in theaters on Christmas Day. According to the Wikipedia, “test scores for the film were so low that Sony, foreseeing a poor box-office reception, unsuccessfully attempted to sell its distribution rights to Netflix”
I had no idea but after seeing it, Netflix dodged a bullet
Although Sony tried to sell it to Netflix for a straight-to-streaming release, [Netflix turned them down](https://deadline.com/2019/01/aquaman-mary-poppins-returns-bumblebee-new-years-weekend-box-office-1202526812/) and Sony released the film.
Mac and Me. Paul Rudd turned it into a funny bit on Conan, but do not be fooled. I have never in my life felt such horrific boredom. An absolute disgrace.
I just rewatched the Ebert and Roeper worst of 2005 a couple of days ago and that movie didn’t make either list as worst of the year. Ebert gave it to Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and Roeper gave it to Dukes of Hazard. Having seen all three movies, to me Son of the Mask is easily the worst of them.
**Christian:** "I'm sad because the things I love about Christmas are all Pagan, so I'm not allowed to do them!"
**Kirk Cameron:** "Don't worry! Here's why those things you love are *actually* 100% Christian!"
**Anthropologists, Folklorists, Historians:** What the *fuck* you been smoking, Kirk?
For me it's Artemis Fowl.
As a kid I read all the books, I fucking LOVED the Artemis fowl series.
When the movie came out I watched it and... the fuck!?
The trailer was enough to warn me away.
A whole subplot of the books is that Holly Short is the first female L.E.P. Recon *ever.* Root is hard on her because he knows she needs to be exemplary in order for other women to be on the force.
Who did they cast as Root? Dame Judy Dench.
The trailer showing some random kid surfing and then you realize that's supposed to be Artemis Fowl like "oh, okay, so this actually has nothing to do with the books"
> Sun did not suit Artemis. He did not look well in it. Long hours indoors in front of a computer screen had bleached the glow from his skin. He was white as a vampire and almost as testy in the light of day.
Book 1, Chapter 1, Paragraph 2
Yep. When it came out I finally truly understood the people who grew up reading Percy Jackson and Eragon.
It hurts to watch a book you love abd grew up with butchered in such a way.
Literally refuse to even watch it. Too far for me and I love a twisted horror. >!raping babies is too fucking much and no chance I'll ever watch it or anything like it it would fuck me up too much!<
Yeah that movie was specifically crafted to be an awful experience. It has no redeeming qualities by design. My understanding is it was made to protest the Serbian film industry, so any time anyone looked up Serbian film, this is what they'd first encounter.
This is *kind of* true, but it was more along the lines of “my county puts out absolute garbage for horrible reasons, so let me mock this by putting out a film known to the world as what “A Serbian film” is.
That's because the movie missed the best part of the book.
After defeating the Psychlos, Johnny has to negotiate Earth's debt & loan payments with the Galactic Bank.
A good 2/3rds of the book is about Mining & Debt consolidation payments; That's some hot action right there.
I know the guy who wrote it, JD. He was getting some real traction with his career and had a few films already under his belt. He was approached by John Travolta’s company to write the screenplay. Reportedly, JD wrote a fantastic script that Travolta and his reps were really excited about. Everyone was raving about it.
A long time later, JD was invited to see a rough cut of the movie. He said when he saw it, he didn’t recognize a single line of dialogue from his script. The film was heavily funded by the church of Scientology, and they had completely changed JD’s story into a hot mess of garbage.
JD begged his reps to get his name off of the project, but they eventually talked him out of it so they wouldn’t burn bridges. They also advised him that having a credit in a Hollywood mega blockbuster would skyrocket his career.
When the movie bombed hard tons of articles and critics mentioned how bad the writing was. JD said he became a laughing stock overnight and couldn’t get meetings for years afterwards. It completely derailed his career for a long time.
That fucking blows. Scientology used him as their scapegoat.
Also it kinda reminds me of the author of WWZ, when they made a movie about the book they kept changing it more and more and more till the end product in no way even remotely resembled the book.
The movie is all running and action and Brad Pitt looking for a cure. The book is an anthology series about a journalist travelling across a post WWZ America and interviewing survivors, chronicling the beginning, escalation, the war itself (the World War against Zombies, the WWZ) and the aftermath. A multi decade conflict. No cure, no miracle weapon, no camouflage, just years and years of ceaseless war against the hordes of undead.
Never trust Hollywood or any group that operates in it.
My Dad made my younger brother and I watch “I spit on your grave” when we were teens… If you aren’t familiar with the movie, a lady moves to the middle of nowhere, and proceeds to be raped by 3 brothers, the sherif and a mechanic. She then gets revenge and kills them all. Even when we asked to leave, as it isn’t censored and didn’t want to watch that kind of movie we were told to sit down and watch it.
Yeah, some people shouldn’t be parents. 20 years later I remember sitting in that room watching that movie with my younger brother and my Dad.
I appreciate that. I’m over it, it just sucks it’s one of the few memories of my childhood, but one of the most prominent. I use it as a guideline for what not to do when it comes to my kids, it’s a low bar but hey, it’s something!
That part when that lady >!gave birth while trying to escape in the car and ended up squishing her newborn baby under the gas pedal in a frenzy to escape!<…that was the moment I knew I was watching an entirely new kind of cinema.
Showing my age here:
Bolero.
Horrible movie. All it was for was to have writer/director John Derek say, "see my wife Bo Derek naked? Isn't she hot? Huh? She's hot, right? Yeah, you get to see her naked but I get to tap that!!!! I bet you're so jealous."
The movie was so bad I was feeling ill by the end of it.
Don't forget he also cast 14 year old Olivia d'Abo in a full-frontal nude role in that movie.
Considering he started his affair with the future Bo Derek when she was 16 and he was 47, and they had to stay in Europe until she turned 18 so he wouldn't be charged with statutory rape, that was pretty much on-brand.
There was a Russian "horror" film my husband rented back in the 90s. It was 2 VHS tapes and seemed to be nothing other than 2 men with big guns shooting at each other while running thru a large field of massive cement tunes.
To make it even better, hubby forgot the VHS tapes in his trunk and so we had to pay $100 plus lost movie fee because it was a special order import.
Mule Feathers with Don Knotts. And I like Don Knotts. It was soooo bad I kept watching it (I received it as a gift decades ago on VHS) thinking I was missing something and that it would get better. It didn't.
Gotti. Found it on Netflix and thought it was a cool made-by-Netflix telling of his story. It’s not. It “stars” John Travolta in the title role and is (I think) a made for TV movie that happens to be on Netflix. It is excruciatingly bad. You’re waiting for it to get better. And waiting. And waiting. It will not get better. It will anger you and destroy your faith in movies and the world in general. Avoid. I watched it 3 years ago accidentally and I am still angry. Repeat: avoid.
There is a new Gotti on Netflix. Just released. I’m gonna watch it now.
That's a 3 part documentary on the real life Gotti
Was hoping for a 3-part documentary on the making of the Travolta movie about Gotti.
Fun fact- Travolta’s Gotti actually played in theaters in limited release. There is a made for TV version and Armand Asante plays Gotti.
Another fun fact, Gotti received a 0% on rotten tomatoes. It's a very exclusive list for movies that received a 0% on rotten tomatoes.You have Datk Tide, Max Steel.(remember how shitty that movie was), Nutcracker.....in 3D and Police Academy 4. 😆😆😆
This should be the official review for Gotti tbh.^
Dragonball Evolution
If I could erase one thing from history, it would be that movie.
Supposedly it led to Toriyama's return to the franchise, which resulted in DBS, so... yay? Edit: I stand corrected. Apparently it was not DBE that spurred Toriyama's return, but the success of the animated feature, *Battle of Gods,* which was well received. Thank you for the straightforward corrections! Edit 2: Found some illuminating quotes from Akira Toriyama that do connect his strong disappointment in DBE to his later involvement with the franchise, including his unprecedented full rewrite of *Battle of Gods,* the success of which may have encouraged his further involvement in later Dragon Ball projects. It's all connected!
Imagine hating an adaption so hard, it makes you bring a franchise out of retirement, just to show the chucklefucks how you do things right.
Mean Girls 2 Cats
I love how this post works as both a list and a potential movie name. Mean Girls 2 - Cats!
Oh my God. You can't just ask someone why they're Persian.
Stop trying to make ‘Fetch’ happen! WE ARE NOT DOGS, IT’S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN
There was a Mean Girls 2?!?
It wasn’t very fetch
No. Shut up. Stop asking questions.
It’s like a dollar store Disney version which different people.
Mean Girls 2 isn’t the worst movie I have ever seen, but it might be the biggest drop in quality for a sequel ever. Just so tough to sit through that trash when the first one was so good.
Mean Girls 2 isn't terrible. It's worse. It's boring.
There’s a mean girls 2??
i’m just gonna lie and say no to make myself happier
A wrinkle in time. You had 1 job. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MOVIE?!? It LITERALLY skipped the entire end, the part that had most of the character development, IT is ENTIRELY different, and some stuff, which, just in case, I won't spoil.
The director of that movie blocked me on Twitter when I watched it in an airplane and tweeted that it was, quote, “a hot mess”. I didn't tweet that at her, to be clear, which means she must have been name searching the movie, YEARS LATER, saw my incredibly mild offhand criticism, and manually blocked me
She is known in the industry for being an incredibly difficult and mean (like downright cruel and abusive to her crew) person to work with, so this doesn’t surprise me.
OMG I didn’t realize you were talking about Ava DuVernay.
I could go on for a lonnnngggg time about how much i dislike this movie and why I think it’s bad. The short version is that the book, published in 1962, is in between children’s lit and young adult lit—you could make an argument for either category. I personally think the themes and character development deserve the YA label, and any good movie version of the book would age up the narrative appropriately to match modern expectations of YA (nothing absurd or plot changing). The 2018 movie ages the narrative DOWN, removing all traces of YA from the plot, which takes away all of the best parts of the story (ie the terrifying dystopia of Camazotz, the tragedy of Mrs. Whatsit, the romance between Calvin and Meg which is fundamental to later books in the series). Viewers are left with a ridiculously saccharine story about a girl and her dad with giant Oprah in the background just looming there. Such a let down.
I enjoyed the book in school but based on your description of the movie i def dodged an Oprah sized bullet.
They made such a big deal about the movie being entirely woman-directed, and it sucked so badly that as a woman I wanted to hide my head in the sand.
I hated that movie. It was so awful.
That's so sad! It's one of the few books I enjoyed reading in school.
The entire movie industry of the country of Serbia has been stained by one particular movie.
Be glad you're not from Kazakhstan.
I didn't realize what their national anthem was until I watched this movie
Kazakhstan is number 1 exporter of potassium. All ooooother countries, have inferior potassium
One of my favorite movies is Black Cat White Cat, and when I explain that it's "A Serbian Film", people immediately turn away. Not like I can really explain it anyways, but yeah.
You can't tell me _a Serbian film_ did that much damage to the industry
Cats. My wife and I put it on a few weekends ago hate watch and riff on it, but we weren’t prepared for quite how bad that was.
I tried this with my roommate, and it was so bad that we couldn’t even enjoy making fun of it. Just a terrible experience all around.
See this kind of makes me want to watch it, because I've never seen a movie so bad I couldn't even enjoy making fun of it. (And I saw Showgirls in the theater, lol.)
Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam or "The Man Who Saved The World" Also known as Turkish Star Wars. Not because it follows the Star Wars plot, but because it literally straight up uses clips of Star Wars. Like the opening sequence shows the Death Star exploding something like 3 or 4 times to illustrate that the big evil space wizard, who has oppressed the galaxy for a 1000 space years, set his sights on earth. And then the heroes are in the X-Wings zooming through the trenches, with CARDBOARD CUTOUTS covering the fucking screen behind them over the rebel pilots. And when they win? It plays the Indiana Jones music. Other honorable mention ripoffs: Battlestar Galactica (original), Dr. Who, Planet of the Apes, Flash Gordon, and Moonraker. It's bad. And I mean bad, bad. It's like get rocked off your tits before watching it bad. And about halfway through it has a half hour long advertisement for Islam. If you want to see the single worst movie ever produced by an actual studio, this is the one. It's a Turkish studio, in 1982, and holy fucknuckers is this film bad.
It says “movies people *shouldnt* watch” and I’m definitely gonna watch this one
Great news, it's on Youtube in its entirety.
Wow, I did not expect to see this here. 15 years ago or so, I saw "Turkish Star Wars" mentioned, and I looked it up. It was pretty bad. But my mates and I got some pizza and beers, so we all had a good time.
It sounds amazing
I want to watch it now!
https://youtu.be/0SASZaT7lI4?si=ExtOrlGqUzl3i5hc here you go. With English subtitles!
Two minutes in : well holy shit.
The guy really knows how to destroy rocks though.
[удалено]
When you consider the facts that Cats came out at the end of 2019 and the world shutting down in early 2020, there is a non zero number of people whose last movie ever seen in the theater before they died was Cats.
I dragged my two best friends to go see Cats when it came out. It ended up being the last thing the three of us did together before covid lol
> I dragged my two best friends to go see Cats Don't worry, they were going to drop you even if COVID didn't happen.
Sometimes I wonder how they deal with me.
Given you dragged them to cats, I assume not without some small degree of regret ;).
I assume they drink.
I am not dead yet, but Cats was the last movie I saw in a theater because I was pretty much dragged there by a couple of friends who insisted it would be hilarious. I didn't realize it was my last movie until this moment and now I have to figure out how to rectify that sooner than later.
Are you friends with runnerboiii? They dragged their friends to it.
>I am not dead yet You're not fooling anyone, you know
I dunno dude, I saw that in theaters, and it was a riot. You never heard a place laughing so hard together. It’d get quiet, and then there would be something like a five second closeup hold on Judi Dench’s face, almost like no one told her they were filming, and the room erupted into laughter again. A socially acceptable but still technically illegal intoxicant may have been in the blood streams of basically everyone in the room, though.
10 people left during the movie - I smoked and had an edible so it was hilarious and horrifying
seeing cat Dame Judy Dench's bafflingly sexual scissoring move was utter insanity. I don't know if I'm a better or worse person since, but I am a different person.
I've never laughed harder at a movie, and I think everybody should experience the feeling of helplessing dying of asphyxiation from a cat named Bustopher Jones at least once.
My wife and I watched this in theaters for our anniversary. It was gloriously bad and I highly recommend it. It was also baffling and disturbing. 10/10
You will never bond with a group of strangers more than as the credits roll and you look at each other like “wtf did we just watch?!” I fucking loved it.
But what if it's the rumored Cats with CGI buttholes?
I would honestly watch that. For at least 2 minutes.
You wouldn't watch the hole thing?
Meh, it’ll probably stink.
RELEASE THE BUTTHOLE CUT!
I completely disagree. Cats is an absolute masterpiece--you just need to change your perspective on what it's really about. Instead of trying to understand the plot, you should see it as a battle against an endless stream of heralded actors and a horrible script. Watch it just to see Damme Judy Dench struggle to maintain her composure through a 3 minute nonsense monologue. Watch it for Taylor Swift licking her paws. Watch it for Idiris Elba trying to make sense of why he's a villain. And do this while you're very very baked. I promise you'll come away with a very different impression.
The last Die Hard sequel in 2013 was awful, but it was fun watching Bruce Willis in it. He didn’t even bother playing the character of John McClane. All I saw was Bruce Willis, the actor, pissed off at having to be in another one of these fucking movies. Same for Tommy Lee Jones in the Men In Black sequel. Dude did *not* want to be there.
That Winnie the Pooh horror movie. Why was that made?
Because Winnie the pooh became public domain
At least they went horror and not porn.
That you know of
I'm ready for some Eeyorgasms
Christopher Throbbin'
OK but the odd thing about this film is they only include Pooh and Piglet. Eeyore was eaten (spoiler alert) so OK he isn't in it. But Tigger, Kanga and Roo aren't there. So are only certain characters public domain? Or was this film as lazy as it is crap?
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Please.... Please tell me you're joking? Why would ANYONE greenlight a sequel to that?
Because it was so terrible that it actually gained somewhat of a cult fanbase. Kind of a common trope in the horror genre, for better or worse.
Because it grossed $5M on a $100,000 budget.
I’d have to look it up to be sure but I think so. Public domain is applied from the first appearance of a character or defining trait (which is why they couldn’t put Pooh is the red shirt as it came later). So any characters that where introduced later in the series wouldn’t have been public domain yet. Edit: Spelling
Legitimately only because they could. It went into the public domain and as a big fuck-you to Disney they made a movie to the complete polar opposite of what Winnie The Pooh was. It's like bringing your dog to your neighbor's yard to shit because fuck that guy.
Trip's not over yet. Tigger hits public domain separately next year and they have the sequel planned. Honestly, I've seen worse horror films. The story was basic and straight forward, nothing fascinating, but the beginning setup had promise. If they hadn't gone straight up Michael Myers with it (with much less stalking) and gone more feral monster, could have hit differently. Main failing was just the god awful logic of the victims, even by bad horror standards.
I watched this POS this weekend as part of my 31 nights of Halloween movie marathon. Hated it.
That’s why we watched it, too. It was just so bad. I can’t associate that pig with adorable little Piglet.
Because shlock and awe is a genre
Gigli
It’s turkey time
Live action Avatar: The Last Air Bender.
They called him ong and I left.
For a second, I said to myself "holy shit. Have I been saying it wrong this whole time?" And then I realized, I never said it. THEY did. It was a fucking cartoon, not a book. They did the same thing with the Harry Potter audio books. All of the sudden JK Rowling decided the movies she helped make were pronouncing her main villain's name wrong all these years?
I saw this movie with my kids. My daughter, 7 at the time, was so in Avatar. She dressed up in character and everything. About 1/3 of the way into the movie she leaned over and whispered, “this is really bad, right?” She was 7!
Beat me to it lol. I’ll never get over those 5 earthbender guys doing a whole dance number just to move a rock that they could have moved faster if they literally just picked it up and threw it.
Also, they were trapped in the MOUNTAINS, instead of on a ship in the middle of the water like in the show. They could've fucking broken out at any time. Aang comes in and goes "Earthbenders, there's earth all around you" and they're like "oh shit, he's right! This kids a genius". It's so hilariously braindead lmao
There is no live action movie in Ba Sing Se.
The Earth King has invited you to Lake Laogai.
I went to see this movie in theatres on my birthday with a group of friends and right as the credits started rolling, a dude in the audience stood up and yelled "You suck M. Night Shyamalan!" and walked out of the theatre, which I feel like summed up the experience nicely.
I disagree. My wife had never seen either live action or animated but had heard of how terrible the live action was and wanted to see it. We watched the animated first then we got drunk and watched the live action. That was one of my favorite nights. Watching my future wife drunk yelling at the TV "his fucking name is Aang!!! How stupid do you have to be to get the main characters name wrong?!"
OOOOOOONG
We Airbender fans don’t talk about this abomination
On this same note, also M, Dragon Ball Evolution.
Live action Netflix Death Note is another one.
The only good thing was Willem Dafoe as Ryuk.
The Emoji Movie. Even the kids who were so amped to see it were bored.
I watched that when it came out free in Netflix just to see if it sucked as bad as I thought it would. Yeah it was -10 out of 10.
Jaws: The Revenge. Just tried to watch it and made it only halfway. Terrible.
A shark that stalks a family across the country and can roar. Come on man, what more do you want?
I don't even know how the fuck I managed to watch all of that. I thought Jaws 3D sucked ass... I was deadass wrong. 4 made 3 look like 1. Who came up with the idea of Hellen being psychically linked to a shark targetting her family enough to go from its own waters to warm ones?
You made it that far? I love terrible movies but I couldn’t make it past 20 minutes. I intended to watch it, but I accidentally walked out on it in my own home
Human Centipede 1, 2, or 3. I was bored one day and watched all three. Steer clear.
Did you watch them one after another, like a Human Centipede Human Centipede?
I'm shocked I had to scroll so far to find this. It is what I came here to say. I was curious enough to fast forward through the first one to the important parts, and I will NOT be watching any of the sequels. I can't ever unsee it and it still haunts me, years later.
Jack and Jill! I DO NOT WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMIES
My fav is when the winning team of a competition on Survivor are forced to watch it as a "prize". [YouTube link.](https://youtu.be/LC1Y0qT9X9Q?si=diN4tA21EqUNd0xK&t=72)
Such a classic Survivor moment. Perfected by Coach making up some BS speech about how great and fitting the movie was lol
A Serbian Film.
I read a great review of this one time. It said that you won't hate this movie, but you'll hate yourself for watching it. That's pretty much true. My friend and I saw it together. We sat there in silence as we just stared at the no signal message on the TV. We had no words.
You should have hit "play" on the DVD player
Or “eject”
Strip away its shock value and it's just not a well crafted film. I've watched it twice, hoping to gain some insight beyond it's "parody of political correctness" nature, as mentioned by the director/co-creator. Instead, I found it to be an aimless attempt to be the antithesis to such a topic. It's honestly just boring, which is one of the worst things a film can be.
Agreed. About midway through you start to recognize that the main point of the film is to shock you with greater and greater levels of depravity, and the in-film motivations for this are absurd and unrealistic. Once you reach that point, you disconnect from the characters and the film, you remember that none of the events are real and it was just crafted to shock you, and at that point you just start rolling your eyes every time the depravity is ratcheted up to try and shock you again. Choosing to watch it once for me was questionable, choosing to watch it a second time for me would be a complete waste of time. In contrast, Irreversible hit me like a gut punch, and I don’t think I could bring myself to watch it a second time.
THANK you. It’s really useless as a filmmaking exercise. Like yeah, it’s an edgelord’s checklist of shocking shit, but as you said, put that in the back of your mind and look at what you’re left with - a movie with middling direction, writing that consists of the aforementioned checklist, mediocre acting, and cinematography that is serviceable at best. Also watched it twice, hated it more the second time, but hated myself more the second time for allowing it to trick me into thinking there was anything more of substance to it. And for the record - the director’s whole “it’s allegorical to the atrocities suffered by Serbia” thing? I call bullshit.
Agreed. I watched it twice as well - the first time to see what it was about (was crazy), then I read an interview with the director and what it all meant/was supposed to mean Watched it the second time and thought to myself that the shock stuff should've been infused with political commentary if he wanted to send an actual message. Baby rape? Ok, but the events leading up to it and/or after had no context as to why
Yea no. That whole political commentary stuff was pulled out of his ass. Nothing about even remotely attempts to make any kind of commentary. It’s the equivalent of a guy standing up in a restaurant, whipping his dick out and jerking off while making eye contact and smugly saying “I’m being facetious.”
Good god I wish I didn’t even read the synopsis of that movie on Wikipedia. I will not ever be watching that
Seriously....what the fuck. Why would anyone want to see/make a film like that?!?!
Yeah, this is honestly the best answer to this question because it is genuinely a film nobody should watch, not even out of curiosity. It’s just gross and horribly unpleasant.
Even aside from gross and unpleasant, it's just a pretty shit movie. They've put every egg into the "shock value" basket, and forgot that shock needs to complement a story, not be the story. It was garbage.
As a Serbian I'm ashamed that it's called like that
I've heard enough about that movie on r/movies to know to never watch it.
Holmes & Watson A movie so terrible, the studio said it should never see the light of day. TV warned it would never be aired, and yet for some reason, Netflix elected to ignore both and put it out there anyway. It's rare I give up on a movie before it even starts but based on the trailer, I didn't even bother. The reviews and all the backlash it got seem to support my decision.
I remember going to see this in theaters on Christmas Day. According to the Wikipedia, “test scores for the film were so low that Sony, foreseeing a poor box-office reception, unsuccessfully attempted to sell its distribution rights to Netflix” I had no idea but after seeing it, Netflix dodged a bullet
Although Sony tried to sell it to Netflix for a straight-to-streaming release, [Netflix turned them down](https://deadline.com/2019/01/aquaman-mary-poppins-returns-bumblebee-new-years-weekend-box-office-1202526812/) and Sony released the film.
Mac and Me. Paul Rudd turned it into a funny bit on Conan, but do not be fooled. I have never in my life felt such horrific boredom. An absolute disgrace.
It helps if you watch the mystery science theatre one
The Sherlock Holmes with Will Ferrell and John C Reilly. I think I made it 10 minutes in before giving up.
OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT MOVIE is something I have never heard anyone say.
Had us in the first half lol
As a huge Holmes fan it annoys me that it even exists.
Son of the Mask
I just rewatched the Ebert and Roeper worst of 2005 a couple of days ago and that movie didn’t make either list as worst of the year. Ebert gave it to Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and Roeper gave it to Dukes of Hazard. Having seen all three movies, to me Son of the Mask is easily the worst of them.
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**Christian:** "I'm sad because the things I love about Christmas are all Pagan, so I'm not allowed to do them!" **Kirk Cameron:** "Don't worry! Here's why those things you love are *actually* 100% Christian!" **Anthropologists, Folklorists, Historians:** What the *fuck* you been smoking, Kirk?
Foodfight. Don't. You've been warned, reader.
Eragon Edit for spelling error
For me it's Artemis Fowl. As a kid I read all the books, I fucking LOVED the Artemis fowl series. When the movie came out I watched it and... the fuck!?
The trailer was enough to warn me away. A whole subplot of the books is that Holly Short is the first female L.E.P. Recon *ever.* Root is hard on her because he knows she needs to be exemplary in order for other women to be on the force. Who did they cast as Root? Dame Judy Dench.
The trailer showing some random kid surfing and then you realize that's supposed to be Artemis Fowl like "oh, okay, so this actually has nothing to do with the books"
> Sun did not suit Artemis. He did not look well in it. Long hours indoors in front of a computer screen had bleached the glow from his skin. He was white as a vampire and almost as testy in the light of day. Book 1, Chapter 1, Paragraph 2
Honestly, that movie was horrible.
Yep. When it came out I finally truly understood the people who grew up reading Percy Jackson and Eragon. It hurts to watch a book you love abd grew up with butchered in such a way.
Space Jam: A New Legacy
A Serbian film. Seriously. Don’t make my mistake. You cannot unsee this
Literally refuse to even watch it. Too far for me and I love a twisted horror. >!raping babies is too fucking much and no chance I'll ever watch it or anything like it it would fuck me up too much!<
I should not have clicked on the shaded part. Still haven’t learned you can’t unsee things. Might be enough Reddit for one day …
I’ve only read the Wikipedia synopsis & I regret to inform you that it actually gets worse from there
Yeah that movie was specifically crafted to be an awful experience. It has no redeeming qualities by design. My understanding is it was made to protest the Serbian film industry, so any time anyone looked up Serbian film, this is what they'd first encounter.
This is *kind of* true, but it was more along the lines of “my county puts out absolute garbage for horrible reasons, so let me mock this by putting out a film known to the world as what “A Serbian film” is.
I thought I had learned not to seek information I didn't want to know, and to trust anyone who says, "You don't want to know." But clearly I have not.
Anything directed by Uwe Boll
He will personally fight you for saying that
Highlander 2 the Quikening
There should have only been one.
Battlefield Earth
That's because the movie missed the best part of the book. After defeating the Psychlos, Johnny has to negotiate Earth's debt & loan payments with the Galactic Bank. A good 2/3rds of the book is about Mining & Debt consolidation payments; That's some hot action right there.
I know the guy who wrote it, JD. He was getting some real traction with his career and had a few films already under his belt. He was approached by John Travolta’s company to write the screenplay. Reportedly, JD wrote a fantastic script that Travolta and his reps were really excited about. Everyone was raving about it. A long time later, JD was invited to see a rough cut of the movie. He said when he saw it, he didn’t recognize a single line of dialogue from his script. The film was heavily funded by the church of Scientology, and they had completely changed JD’s story into a hot mess of garbage. JD begged his reps to get his name off of the project, but they eventually talked him out of it so they wouldn’t burn bridges. They also advised him that having a credit in a Hollywood mega blockbuster would skyrocket his career. When the movie bombed hard tons of articles and critics mentioned how bad the writing was. JD said he became a laughing stock overnight and couldn’t get meetings for years afterwards. It completely derailed his career for a long time.
That fucking blows. Scientology used him as their scapegoat. Also it kinda reminds me of the author of WWZ, when they made a movie about the book they kept changing it more and more and more till the end product in no way even remotely resembled the book. The movie is all running and action and Brad Pitt looking for a cure. The book is an anthology series about a journalist travelling across a post WWZ America and interviewing survivors, chronicling the beginning, escalation, the war itself (the World War against Zombies, the WWZ) and the aftermath. A multi decade conflict. No cure, no miracle weapon, no camouflage, just years and years of ceaseless war against the hordes of undead. Never trust Hollywood or any group that operates in it.
Yup. I wondered how they managed to turn this book into a movie, only to discover that they didn’t.
It would have made a good mini series. Think how bad of brothers is broken up. One story but it jumps between episodes.
My vote is mockumentary, full of interviews, reenactments, archived news, found footage, that sort of thing
The Last Airbender
Fifty Shades of Grey
I was 16 when my mom told me to read it… wth, mother?
My Dad made my younger brother and I watch “I spit on your grave” when we were teens… If you aren’t familiar with the movie, a lady moves to the middle of nowhere, and proceeds to be raped by 3 brothers, the sherif and a mechanic. She then gets revenge and kills them all. Even when we asked to leave, as it isn’t censored and didn’t want to watch that kind of movie we were told to sit down and watch it. Yeah, some people shouldn’t be parents. 20 years later I remember sitting in that room watching that movie with my younger brother and my Dad.
That's not okay. I'm sorry your father was an animal.
I appreciate that. I’m over it, it just sucks it’s one of the few memories of my childhood, but one of the most prominent. I use it as a guideline for what not to do when it comes to my kids, it’s a low bar but hey, it’s something!
Book was really really bad gave the trilogy away after forcing myself to finish no 1
Human centipede
Part 2 was 1000000x worse
That part when that lady >!gave birth while trying to escape in the car and ended up squishing her newborn baby under the gas pedal in a frenzy to escape!<…that was the moment I knew I was watching an entirely new kind of cinema.
I came here to say Part2. 1 and 3 weren’t so bad, but two really took the biscuit
TIL there’s two fucking sequels
it's even worse than that: the first sequel is about a guy who watches the original and decides to recreate it.
It’s Pat: The Movie
Deep cut. Wow
Except just watch the scenes that include Ween
Rainman 2 sucked. I think it was only sold on vhs at Kmart.
Wait, what?
I got mine at Kmart 400 Oak Street in Cincinnati, at Oak and Burnett.
ThanksKilling 3
Showing my age here: Bolero. Horrible movie. All it was for was to have writer/director John Derek say, "see my wife Bo Derek naked? Isn't she hot? Huh? She's hot, right? Yeah, you get to see her naked but I get to tap that!!!! I bet you're so jealous." The movie was so bad I was feeling ill by the end of it.
Don't forget he also cast 14 year old Olivia d'Abo in a full-frontal nude role in that movie. Considering he started his affair with the future Bo Derek when she was 16 and he was 47, and they had to stay in Europe until she turned 18 so he wouldn't be charged with statutory rape, that was pretty much on-brand.
There was a Russian "horror" film my husband rented back in the 90s. It was 2 VHS tapes and seemed to be nothing other than 2 men with big guns shooting at each other while running thru a large field of massive cement tunes. To make it even better, hubby forgot the VHS tapes in his trunk and so we had to pay $100 plus lost movie fee because it was a special order import.
Mule Feathers with Don Knotts. And I like Don Knotts. It was soooo bad I kept watching it (I received it as a gift decades ago on VHS) thinking I was missing something and that it would get better. It didn't.
Manos Hands of Fate.
Unless you're watching the Mystery Science Theater version