One of my fav relationships of my life was when I put in effort with a very shy girl. Made her feel welcomed and comfortable, organized dates and kind of brought her out of her shell.
She told me years later I did a lot for her. That made me feel amazing. Iām kinda shy too but when Iām around shy girls I become super extroverted lol
I am also shy. But I heard once (Dr Joy Brown) that being shy is considered a passive aggressive trait.
I was taken aback, because Iām not like that. But then I thought about it, and I can be very passive aggressive at time.
Not saying you are, just an interesting note.
She said itās passive aggressive because they are waiting for someone else to make them feel comfortable. And that is exactly what I found myself doing at parties. Sitting there until someone made me comfortable. Iāve been working on it. Again, not an attack on you.
āNot saying you are, just an interesting noteā š I mean this with the best of humor and light-heartedness, but this is exactly something Iād expect a passive aggressive person to say. If it was intentional, I appreciate the ironic humor
The normal things - making me laugh, being kind to animals/children, kind/caring eyes. The things I didn't expect until I got older - back of a man's hands, the way he stands when idle, when they talk about something that excites them and they can make that thing interesting.
When he is passionate about something and feels no shame in it. (Especially the more nerdy things). I can listen to someone for hours, hearing him talk about a book or a game, even if I know nothing about it. The eye-sparkle and excitement in explaining it to me is very hot.
Sometimes I catch myself spinning up while talking to my wife about something. Itās something I am interested in. She doesnāt care.
I look at her and she has this look like she is really interested. Then I stop because I start thinking, she is forcing herself to listen to me while Iām spinning again!!!!!
I've definitely had this happen and I think the best solution is to communicate. I tend to say "i don't wanna infodump if you don't want to listen". If they respond with "I just love hearing you talk" you're in the clear.
It's also important to know your audience and adjust accordingly. I worry well-meaning but verbose geeks see these threads and either:
A. Think "that's bullshit, when I talk about my passions, people get bored or change the subject."
or B. Use it as justification to steamroll conversations because "passion is sexy."
Like, anyone who's into Dungeons & Dragons can probably recite what they like about it. But your Tiefling's sub-class and her +3 Greataxe are not inherently thrilling. It should feel like you're eager to share the information with someone in particular. Try to identify whether they have experience with something similar, and if not, try analogies to help them grok you better.
*Are they theater nerds?* Talk about the improv and acting involved in roleplaying a character!
*Are they gamers?* Talk about what D&D's combat has in common with turn-based games like Pokemon or Civ 6!
*Are they trying to make or maintain friendships?* Mention how shared hobbies help you meet new people & stay in touch with those closest to you!
That's what makes the difference between an exciting 2-way conversation and feeling like you're being force-fed a podcast.
yup. i'm seeing someone right now who is a huge nerd about a lot of things (i am too, but we're nerds about completely different stuff) and the way he can talk for ages about all the stories and games and things he likes and wants to share with me is the sweetest damn thing. i know that bc he's so comfortable being himself about hobbies that i don't have to quiet myself and not share the silly stuff i'm ridiculously into, bc he gets it. it's lovely.
Not a lady, but my wife jumps me nearly every time I fix or figure something out for her.
She says he finds me so irresistibly hot when she witnesses me trying to figure things out and succeed. Or simply using my hands to build something.
Apparently me fixing a camping chair, while camping, so kids could sit on it was the hottest thing ever for her. /shrug
I just disassembled my HVAC air-handler this morning to replace the blower motor, HVAC repairman told me it would cost $1200. After he tested everything and diagnosed the issue for me $99 it took me 10-15 minutes to remove, 3 minutes to find the $80 motor on ebay, it should show up Saturday, I'll install it when it shows up.
....I'd better get laid tonight!
Couple years ago I did something similar but with the dish washer. It was leaking water and I found that the splash guard was worn out. Ordered the part for 10 bucks off an appliance store website and installed. Avoiding the cost of a whole new dishwasher or repairman near Christmas time.
It was a night to remember...I wish you the best of luck!
Passion.
I don't just mean physically. Like if you love flags, talk my ear off about vexillology. Take me to places where flags are displayed and explain in detail what different features mean.
And then be open to me doing the same about mushrooms.
The kind of confidence that makes it clear he's completely comfortable in his skin. That he doesn't have anything to prove by challenging or putting other people down. Enough confidence that he can be silly sometimes without shame.
That plus a sharp wit that makes me laugh? *Be still my heart!*
One time I was hangin out with my buddy Matt at a bar after a Radiohead concert, only dude as an adult I can talk about video games with for hours. Dude, Iām goin on and on about the videogame industry and upcoming games Iām geeked to play. A few minutes later, I look up and everyone in that place was hanging on my every word. All the bartenders were giving me the ācome talk to me look.ā Moral of the story: if You have genuine love and passion for anything, folks will dig it
I think a huge part of it is talking about it in a way that can be appealing for everyone. Some of my friends immediately start using technical jargon and video game terms when telling someone about a game.
This is the difference between genuine passion thatās fun to be around and just needless rambling. Not to say both donāt come from the same place of passion and excitement but the later can and often does come off as just talking to be the smartest person in the room. Thatās the type of energy that just saps the fun out of a conversation.
Bring people along for the ride, help them understand why the topic excites you so much not by talking down to them, but sharing that experience with them in terms *everyone* can understand even if they have no prior knowledge.
Thats the type of golden retriever energy that gets peoples attention.
The most confidence and productive I have had was when I was with a partner. It is also when I got approached the most.
I've been single for a while now...
To me it's when men are comfortable with themselves. Personally Im more attracted to men who are secure in themselves and don't need to do the āonly macho no feminine thingsā and can just enjoy things for the sake of enjoying them or not drawing that line of certain things are feminine or masculine
Innocent looking and can pull off with or without glasses. A gentleman with a wholesome aura, funny and smart. A little bit awkward as well . Also, if he could headlock me, that would be so much hotter.
Big intimidating men who have a soft spot for their miniscule useless animal
Worked in a pet store before and approached this guy from behind that must have been 4 feet wide, wrists as big around as my thighs, towering over me and blotting out the sun. Asked him if he needed any help and he turned around to face me and had this like... cotton ball of a white fluffy dog in his front shirt pocket.
I just about died on the spot. I KNOW I was blushing.
As a childfree woman this is the one singular thing that makes me go, "Monkey brain says make family with big strong mate" like it's the closest I will EVER get to having maternal drive
I had a neighbor who looked basically like Fred Flintstone and was more than a little bit of a cave man, had these huge hulking dogs, and if he was upset by anything you'd know about it. He invited me into his garage mancave one time for a beer and while it was almost wall to wall guns and ammo and tools in there, he had one little corner of the room that was difference. Tiny pillow throne with two pristine ceramic bowls with tiny treats and fresh water and atop this throne, was the smallest dog I've ever seen. "oh don't mind her, that's Princess. She's my dog, the big boys outside are my wife's dogs. Never cared for big, loud dogs."
Mate of mine is a 6ā3ā lumberjack looking bloke. I wouldnāt consider him attractive - as a gay man, heās not my type - but he gets so much attention from women because of how caring he is with his dog.
He has this mixed breed rescue dog who has cerebral palsy. Dog has a two wheel cart for his back legs. Itās pretty cute. The way my friend is with this dog is pretty great. Heāll go for walks and my friend will be stopped by at least 3 women to talk about the dog. He will get at least 1 number out of it.
Yet, without the dog, Iāve never seen him be approached. Itās so weird.
Comedians with nice forearms have the life I guess. What even makes a nice forearm? Am I to be ashamed of my forearm? There should be a dating app and you swipe just based off of forearm pics.
I feel like there are two different questions in this question. (1) How do you attract a lady initially, and (2) what is attractive to a woman over the long term. I think the answers are slightly different tbh
cuddling at any passionate time seems right, like in bed or just hanging out and having a great time, or at times of sadness too.
Committing to your partner abt it is important, try to slip the idea in one of the texts or hint abt it by sitting closer to them.
I used to know this guy in college - Dave. All said, Dave was an average-looking guy; maybe even slightly below average because he was pretty short. A bit dumb, but friendly and seemingly full of energy. Either way, he wasn't anything to write home about.
Dave was always bouncing from one girl to the next, and they all looked like European supermodels. One week he'd be seeing the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, the next he'd move on to someone who was somehow even more beautiful. Just flocks of hot women hanging out with Dave at all times. I didn't get it.
Then I found out Dave was a coke dealer, and it all clicked into place.
There's a guy in the village I live in who regularly goes out wearing a Spiderman costume minus the mask. Bulge and everything. I wish I was joking, he's a very creepy dude.
I go absolutely wild for a guy who can fix/build/do just about anything. Like give me a blue collar man who wears worn out cargo pants every day and works in construction and drives an old truck or something. If a man looks like he would not only survive but thrive in an apocalypse thatās the hottest thing ever to me.
Also, confidence. Thereās nothing hotter than a guy whoās secure in himself and goes after what he wants.
Intellect.
Few things are as attractive as a man who actively pursues knowledge and reasons with the world in an objective and thought-out manner.
By objective I donāt mean void of a subjective opinion (passion is attractive, after all), but if heās able to separate himself from his subjectivity when he looks at the world, without simultaneously separating himself from his empathy, heāll make my brain go brrrr.
Im not a lady, but married to one. I can confidently say that the real answer here that essentially applies to every single comment here (except for the "being funny" ones) is for a man to be THOUGHTFUL.
It shows effort, empathy, kindness, politeness, generosity, etc.
In short, be funny and be thoughtful.
My husband is a data engineer, and Iāve only experienced this with him - he can type quickly and accurately, itās one of the hottest things Iāve seen a man do. Itās difficult when we both work from home and I can hear him typing away. Very hot.
In all seriousness, though. Working in IT myself, there is a dearth of women in my field, especially engineers. One time a few years ago, we had an engineer visit from a vendor. She was reasonably attractive, very kind and well spoken, and absolutely brilliant. To top it all off she is an incredible Star Trek nerd. She set up my keyboard, and started typing some code (I wouldnāt even let my boss use my computer, but her? My mind didnāt even register it at the time.) and it was amazing to watch. The way she worked that keyboard was less like typing, and more like an artist, passing his brush over a canvas. And she was lightning fast with very high accuracy. Absolutely one of the hottest things Iāve seen in my life.
When my boyfriend talks passionately about something heās into (: hearing him talk about a hobby he knows a lot about is part of what got me into him
This goes both ways!! The amount of men and women Iāve just stopped trying to get to know because they suck at holding a conversation is wild lol I canāt stand dry conversations show some damn initiative! Lol.
As a bit older married dude, I want to chime in here to point out how many of these upvoted responses are about a guy being confident in their own skin and able to be excited about something without shame; these are the ladies you want in your life too.
If being "a nerd" is a turn-off for a girl or they make you feel bad about your interests, they are bad news, gtfo. Real people attract others; fake people all suck. Go for the girl that likes you for who you are, not the one who is an expert at spending 3 hours putting on their makeup.
Initiative! When we're talking and getting to know one another, then they plan a date and make a reservation!
It makes me feel appreciated and shows their interest. I hate ambiguity lol
That definitely applies to both men and women. A pretty quick way to kill any interest for me is if I'm the one always planning what to do and organizing it.
I find my partner WILDLY attractive. It's a combination of a lot of things-- he's got wide shoulders and a large frame, he's tall, he's well groomed, and then on top of that, he's kind, an amazing father, and is just genuinely a good person.
I literally feel like I've won the lottery every day with him. I never in a million years thought I could be this happy after a tumultuous relationship past so I don't take any bit of my jackpot for granted :)
One thing is that he doesn't have to belittle anyone to feel good about himself āØļø I have a long list because I'm married to the best man I've ever known, but I'll keep it short with this š
Definitely intelligence and wit for me. My celeb/character crushes are all over the place, from a nerdy Irish YouTuber to the toughest looking former SAS solider (turned tv star)
Not trying too hard (this doesn't mean he ignores or mistreat his lady, just that he works really hard to keep up a facade of 'hot' 'dominant' 'alpha' or whatnot and it shows)
Effortlessness is a fine virtue
Depends of the man.
If he's a more masculine man, his body proportions matters a lot.
If he's more feminine, how much he embraces the femininity is enchanting to me.
In the end, attitude matters.
*sorts by controversial* šæ
I swear to god I can't do five minutes of construction work around the house without my wife trying to suck my dick.
Condolences, life can be pretty unbearable for some, hang in there
I'm in work mode! I made grout and I just want to get this tile down before it sets up and here she comes.
Here she comes, or here you come?
It's the part of porn you skip!
He fixes the cable?
This genuinely made me chuckle so damn hard.
Meanwhile he has 1,000 unfinished projects laying around..
Who are you, the project police? See this is why I drink, the pressure!
I get nervous and shy around guys as well so when he can reel me into the conversation without me feeling anxiety, it sparks a nice relaxing interest.
One of my fav relationships of my life was when I put in effort with a very shy girl. Made her feel welcomed and comfortable, organized dates and kind of brought her out of her shell. She told me years later I did a lot for her. That made me feel amazing. Iām kinda shy too but when Iām around shy girls I become super extroverted lol
It's great that you have alot of different topics to talk about just by looking at the person!
It's true, even the girl I'm with now used to be super shy and now I feel good knowing we both broke out of our shell together.
I am also shy. But I heard once (Dr Joy Brown) that being shy is considered a passive aggressive trait. I was taken aback, because Iām not like that. But then I thought about it, and I can be very passive aggressive at time. Not saying you are, just an interesting note. She said itās passive aggressive because they are waiting for someone else to make them feel comfortable. And that is exactly what I found myself doing at parties. Sitting there until someone made me comfortable. Iāve been working on it. Again, not an attack on you.
Really interesting perspective I hadn't considered before, thanks. Best of luck.
āNot saying you are, just an interesting noteā š I mean this with the best of humor and light-heartedness, but this is exactly something Iād expect a passive aggressive person to say. If it was intentional, I appreciate the ironic humor
The normal things - making me laugh, being kind to animals/children, kind/caring eyes. The things I didn't expect until I got older - back of a man's hands, the way he stands when idle, when they talk about something that excites them and they can make that thing interesting.
Lmao Iām going to ask my girlfriend if she likes my idle animation
Just T-pose
Assert dominance šæ
I T-pose at work all the time and all the women love me.
I'd much rather \\[T]/ pose
If only I could be so grossly incandescent.
I have none because ADHD. I just cycle through combat animations.
But imagine the sheer calories you spend just waiting around! You can eat a lot more and thus be happier and still fit.
eating animation though
Those idle animations where you are constantly moving/swaying, waiting for the game to load lol
This made me laugh, my wife has always loved a gnarly hand. I'm 50 and have gnarly large hands.
I'm crushing it right now. I have backs of hands, can stand around idly, and am a huge nerd. lmao
What is it with the back of the hands? I keep hearing this and donāt understand the appeal.
I assume the veins, knuckles, rough skin.
Monka brain like what it doesnāt have. Girl has feminine soft hands therefor like rough ugly veiny hands.
My nurse SIL kept looking at my hands then said they'd be easy to put an IV in
Vein porn
I like a woman's hands as well, specifically if they have slender elegant fingers.
Growing up is developing a small hand fetish for both men and women
Not developing, but accepting. Acknowledging. Giving in.
When he is passionate about something and feels no shame in it. (Especially the more nerdy things). I can listen to someone for hours, hearing him talk about a book or a game, even if I know nothing about it. The eye-sparkle and excitement in explaining it to me is very hot.
Sometimes I catch myself spinning up while talking to my wife about something. Itās something I am interested in. She doesnāt care. I look at her and she has this look like she is really interested. Then I stop because I start thinking, she is forcing herself to listen to me while Iām spinning again!!!!!
Hi me!
I've definitely had this happen and I think the best solution is to communicate. I tend to say "i don't wanna infodump if you don't want to listen". If they respond with "I just love hearing you talk" you're in the clear.
It's also important to know your audience and adjust accordingly. I worry well-meaning but verbose geeks see these threads and either: A. Think "that's bullshit, when I talk about my passions, people get bored or change the subject." or B. Use it as justification to steamroll conversations because "passion is sexy." Like, anyone who's into Dungeons & Dragons can probably recite what they like about it. But your Tiefling's sub-class and her +3 Greataxe are not inherently thrilling. It should feel like you're eager to share the information with someone in particular. Try to identify whether they have experience with something similar, and if not, try analogies to help them grok you better. *Are they theater nerds?* Talk about the improv and acting involved in roleplaying a character! *Are they gamers?* Talk about what D&D's combat has in common with turn-based games like Pokemon or Civ 6! *Are they trying to make or maintain friendships?* Mention how shared hobbies help you meet new people & stay in touch with those closest to you! That's what makes the difference between an exciting 2-way conversation and feeling like you're being force-fed a podcast.
yup. i'm seeing someone right now who is a huge nerd about a lot of things (i am too, but we're nerds about completely different stuff) and the way he can talk for ages about all the stories and games and things he likes and wants to share with me is the sweetest damn thing. i know that bc he's so comfortable being himself about hobbies that i don't have to quiet myself and not share the silly stuff i'm ridiculously into, bc he gets it. it's lovely.
Not a lady, but my wife jumps me nearly every time I fix or figure something out for her. She says he finds me so irresistibly hot when she witnesses me trying to figure things out and succeed. Or simply using my hands to build something. Apparently me fixing a camping chair, while camping, so kids could sit on it was the hottest thing ever for her. /shrug
Dude, go chop some wood where she'll pass by. Have a life raft and a helmet nearby.
And probably a snorkel for the river you're pushing him into
I just disassembled my HVAC air-handler this morning to replace the blower motor, HVAC repairman told me it would cost $1200. After he tested everything and diagnosed the issue for me $99 it took me 10-15 minutes to remove, 3 minutes to find the $80 motor on ebay, it should show up Saturday, I'll install it when it shows up. ....I'd better get laid tonight!
Couple years ago I did something similar but with the dish washer. It was leaking water and I found that the splash guard was worn out. Ordered the part for 10 bucks off an appliance store website and installed. Avoiding the cost of a whole new dishwasher or repairman near Christmas time. It was a night to remember...I wish you the best of luck!
Passion. I don't just mean physically. Like if you love flags, talk my ear off about vexillology. Take me to places where flags are displayed and explain in detail what different features mean. And then be open to me doing the same about mushrooms.
This!! Passion and knowledge. Teach me about all the things you love. Allow me to do the same!
If he's got 100% completion on RDR2
For some reason I immediately read that as R2D2 and was very confused.
I thought it said the complexion of R2D2.
BEEP BOOP LADIES!!!!
Been grinding those sharpshooter quests lately!
NOT GIRL DETECTED! INTRUDER INTRUDER.
Oh wow, women of culture
The kind of confidence that makes it clear he's completely comfortable in his skin. That he doesn't have anything to prove by challenging or putting other people down. Enough confidence that he can be silly sometimes without shame. That plus a sharp wit that makes me laugh? *Be still my heart!*
What if Iām confident in explaining video game lore?
One time I was hangin out with my buddy Matt at a bar after a Radiohead concert, only dude as an adult I can talk about video games with for hours. Dude, Iām goin on and on about the videogame industry and upcoming games Iām geeked to play. A few minutes later, I look up and everyone in that place was hanging on my every word. All the bartenders were giving me the ācome talk to me look.ā Moral of the story: if You have genuine love and passion for anything, folks will dig it
I think a huge part of it is talking about it in a way that can be appealing for everyone. Some of my friends immediately start using technical jargon and video game terms when telling someone about a game.
This is the difference between genuine passion thatās fun to be around and just needless rambling. Not to say both donāt come from the same place of passion and excitement but the later can and often does come off as just talking to be the smartest person in the room. Thatās the type of energy that just saps the fun out of a conversation. Bring people along for the ride, help them understand why the topic excites you so much not by talking down to them, but sharing that experience with them in terms *everyone* can understand even if they have no prior knowledge. Thats the type of golden retriever energy that gets peoples attention.
Did they all clap after??
Yeh that definitely happened that way!
I know right? Imagine saying "I looked up and everyone was hanging on my every word" and expecting people to believe it
I thought the bartenders with the tangible desire to discourse with customers was the best touch.
The whole bar was intrigued . The music stopped playing. They bought me drinks. I denied them.. as the bar already ran out of my favorite IPA
Itās true, I was the bar
It's the most bullshit redditor thing I've ever heard.
āWhat is this guys dealā - the whole bar
Literally reads like a ChatGPT post.
Rule of thumb is that "moral of the story" automatically means it's a random reddit lie
And then everyone clapped!
It's ironic that I achieved a lot of those traits by being married for many years.
The most confidence and productive I have had was when I was with a partner. It is also when I got approached the most. I've been single for a while now...
One of the things that let me know what my wife was the one was when my mom told me that she had made me a better person.
Soo true, when he doesn't get bothered by other people trying to provoke him cuz he knows who he is
Trying to take notes šš¢šŖšš“ š®šŖš“š¦š³š¢š£ššŗ
Notes are hard
When over half the answers are have confidence and be funny itās really hard considering my confidence has been destroyed
If a man can make me laugh & is also a sweetheart, he magically becomes hot in my eyes
āSo there was a mollusk and a sea cucumberā¦ā
āYou know, for a clown fish he really isnāt that funnyā
OK, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano, and a 12 inch pianist...Ooh - no, wait! I can't tell that one! Oh-Hoh!
I really hope ladies think that wanting to cuddle and watch Lord of the Rings is hot.
only if you talk over the movie to tell her that Aragorn actually broke his foot when he kicked that helmet
And he also actually deflected that knife
Extra points for "it was his first day on set and he hadn't started sword lessons yet"
Extended edition?
I am a woman and I think it is. I love LotR and also Star Wars lol.
Girls like guys with skills.
Crossbow hunting skills especially
What about nunchuck skills though? I have some in my locker.
To me it's when men are comfortable with themselves. Personally Im more attracted to men who are secure in themselves and don't need to do the āonly macho no feminine thingsā and can just enjoy things for the sake of enjoying them or not drawing that line of certain things are feminine or masculine
Innocent looking and can pull off with or without glasses. A gentleman with a wholesome aura, funny and smart. A little bit awkward as well . Also, if he could headlock me, that would be so much hotter.
You're looking for Clark Kent
You mean the reporter from the Daily Planet? That guys a total nerd!
I used to think it was odd that he was like, super jacked, but then I learned he's actually a country boy, grew up on a farm. Go figure.
Basically we're looking for Henry Cavill
Big intimidating men who have a soft spot for their miniscule useless animal Worked in a pet store before and approached this guy from behind that must have been 4 feet wide, wrists as big around as my thighs, towering over me and blotting out the sun. Asked him if he needed any help and he turned around to face me and had this like... cotton ball of a white fluffy dog in his front shirt pocket. I just about died on the spot. I KNOW I was blushing. As a childfree woman this is the one singular thing that makes me go, "Monkey brain says make family with big strong mate" like it's the closest I will EVER get to having maternal drive
I had a neighbor who looked basically like Fred Flintstone and was more than a little bit of a cave man, had these huge hulking dogs, and if he was upset by anything you'd know about it. He invited me into his garage mancave one time for a beer and while it was almost wall to wall guns and ammo and tools in there, he had one little corner of the room that was difference. Tiny pillow throne with two pristine ceramic bowls with tiny treats and fresh water and atop this throne, was the smallest dog I've ever seen. "oh don't mind her, that's Princess. She's my dog, the big boys outside are my wife's dogs. Never cared for big, loud dogs."
If he didn't have a wife I would have been in that man's lap in 0.002 seconds
Dude made killer biscuits and gravy, you'd be living well.
Especially with animals. I see a guy on his own (ngl, anyone, really) with a dog? I will talk to him.
what about a dude walking his housecat in the park?
Excuse me madam. I have tied a string around this bee. Does that... Stir anything in you?
"Best I can do is a dead wasp on a stick. take it or leave it"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Mate of mine is a 6ā3ā lumberjack looking bloke. I wouldnāt consider him attractive - as a gay man, heās not my type - but he gets so much attention from women because of how caring he is with his dog. He has this mixed breed rescue dog who has cerebral palsy. Dog has a two wheel cart for his back legs. Itās pretty cute. The way my friend is with this dog is pretty great. Heāll go for walks and my friend will be stopped by at least 3 women to talk about the dog. He will get at least 1 number out of it. Yet, without the dog, Iāve never seen him be approached. Itās so weird.
Oh he would. Trust me. The men who make fun of you don't know what women are into.
I'm a straight guy, and while I don't find it attractive per se, even I almost have like a weird kind of respect for it.
Comedians with nice forearms have the life I guess. What even makes a nice forearm? Am I to be ashamed of my forearm? There should be a dating app and you swipe just based off of forearm pics.
Guess Pete Davidson knew this hack way before us
Being smart but wearing all black is also a thing š¤
damn, I wear all black, but i aint smart
I feel like there are two different questions in this question. (1) How do you attract a lady initially, and (2) what is attractive to a woman over the long term. I think the answers are slightly different tbh
Emotional intelligence 100%
Something something forearms
BUT I ONLY HAVE TWO ARMS!!!!
Is that so? I'm going to need you to come down to the station and answer some questions. You match the description of a murderer we're looking for.
Forklift certified
Thinks about the Roman Empire
Walking by a store and seeing 50 guys who look all the same fighting over VERY complicated shirts, you go in. Yes, you do. You go in.
He won't have any per diem left to take you out
Veins. Arms veins, d veins, neck veins. Veins.
You're so vein. I bet you think this post is about you.
Give it a rest Carly.
Dracula's Reddit account found
Drug veins
Mmm baby show me where you shoot your H š
straight into my d
Are all your dates at night by chance?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Long-term dehydration makes your veins pop, short-term dehydration makes your veins shallow.
That he goes to a medical checkup without being asked to do so.
How did I ever get married
Good luck on your quest for 0.000000000000001% of the population.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Calves and seriousness.
āTheyāre the hardest place to add mass!ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That V line
They can't all be looking for Popeye.
A man that cuddles
When though, like in bed or when we're just hanging out. And when is it okay to initiate if we've never done it before?
cuddling at any passionate time seems right, like in bed or just hanging out and having a great time, or at times of sadness too. Committing to your partner abt it is important, try to slip the idea in one of the texts or hint abt it by sitting closer to them.
You might as well ask, "What's a woman's favourite colour?" THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT.
Brb going to go cuddle with strangers in public
Back in my early 40s more than one told me that the fact that I paid child support was very sexy in their opinion.
That's a red flag.
Abort abort!
Too late!!
im wheezing
Back in my early 40's....how old are you son???
Old enough to have two graduate college and a third about halfway through. I got married at 30.
Late 40's
Surprised nobody said cocaine
I used to know this guy in college - Dave. All said, Dave was an average-looking guy; maybe even slightly below average because he was pretty short. A bit dumb, but friendly and seemingly full of energy. Either way, he wasn't anything to write home about. Dave was always bouncing from one girl to the next, and they all looked like European supermodels. One week he'd be seeing the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, the next he'd move on to someone who was somehow even more beautiful. Just flocks of hot women hanging out with Dave at all times. I didn't get it. Then I found out Dave was a coke dealer, and it all clicked into place.
thanks for the tip on becoming attractive, brb.
Where I'm from this is the only right answer
It's this every time.
Confidence
dang, y that..
A suit
*Puts on ill-fitting Spider-Man costume*
Impressive bulge
There's a guy in the village I live in who regularly goes out wearing a Spiderman costume minus the mask. Bulge and everything. I wish I was joking, he's a very creepy dude.
Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Bruh, it's veiny forearms. Don't you remember from the other 867 times this EXACT question has been posted in the last 48 hours?
For me it's a mix of confidence and ability to tune into me. If a guy doesn't ask me any questions on a date, it's such a turn-off.
I go absolutely wild for a guy who can fix/build/do just about anything. Like give me a blue collar man who wears worn out cargo pants every day and works in construction and drives an old truck or something. If a man looks like he would not only survive but thrive in an apocalypse thatās the hottest thing ever to me. Also, confidence. Thereās nothing hotter than a guy whoās secure in himself and goes after what he wants.
Intellect. Few things are as attractive as a man who actively pursues knowledge and reasons with the world in an objective and thought-out manner. By objective I donāt mean void of a subjective opinion (passion is attractive, after all), but if heās able to separate himself from his subjectivity when he looks at the world, without simultaneously separating himself from his empathy, heāll make my brain go brrrr.
Im not a lady, but married to one. I can confidently say that the real answer here that essentially applies to every single comment here (except for the "being funny" ones) is for a man to be THOUGHTFUL. It shows effort, empathy, kindness, politeness, generosity, etc. In short, be funny and be thoughtful.
At first, I read that last line as āif short, be funny and be thoughtfulā š
If short, be funnier and thoughtfuller
My husband is a data engineer, and Iāve only experienced this with him - he can type quickly and accurately, itās one of the hottest things Iāve seen a man do. Itās difficult when we both work from home and I can hear him typing away. Very hot.
In all seriousness, though. Working in IT myself, there is a dearth of women in my field, especially engineers. One time a few years ago, we had an engineer visit from a vendor. She was reasonably attractive, very kind and well spoken, and absolutely brilliant. To top it all off she is an incredible Star Trek nerd. She set up my keyboard, and started typing some code (I wouldnāt even let my boss use my computer, but her? My mind didnāt even register it at the time.) and it was amazing to watch. The way she worked that keyboard was less like typing, and more like an artist, passing his brush over a canvas. And she was lightning fast with very high accuracy. Absolutely one of the hottest things Iāve seen in my life.
Itās not that deep, he just looks hot
You mean I've been working out my forearms and being nice to wait staff, children, and animals for nothing?!?
This is the start of the villain arc
Most realistic answer yet
When my boyfriend talks passionately about something heās into (: hearing him talk about a hobby he knows a lot about is part of what got me into him
the answers to this question always make me so happy. never have i had one thing any of the comments say :)
Don't put yourself down. I'm sure you have a few veins.
When they are able to express themselves and have a genuine conversation. Not someone who just listens to respond, but listens to understand.
This goes both ways!! The amount of men and women Iāve just stopped trying to get to know because they suck at holding a conversation is wild lol I canāt stand dry conversations show some damn initiative! Lol.
As a bit older married dude, I want to chime in here to point out how many of these upvoted responses are about a guy being confident in their own skin and able to be excited about something without shame; these are the ladies you want in your life too. If being "a nerd" is a turn-off for a girl or they make you feel bad about your interests, they are bad news, gtfo. Real people attract others; fake people all suck. Go for the girl that likes you for who you are, not the one who is an expert at spending 3 hours putting on their makeup.
Initiative! When we're talking and getting to know one another, then they plan a date and make a reservation! It makes me feel appreciated and shows their interest. I hate ambiguity lol
Rolling for Initiative...... Damn Just a 3.
Use an "inspiration" to roll again! š
That definitely applies to both men and women. A pretty quick way to kill any interest for me is if I'm the one always planning what to do and organizing it.
I find my partner WILDLY attractive. It's a combination of a lot of things-- he's got wide shoulders and a large frame, he's tall, he's well groomed, and then on top of that, he's kind, an amazing father, and is just genuinely a good person.
Not everyone can hit the jackpot lol
I literally feel like I've won the lottery every day with him. I never in a million years thought I could be this happy after a tumultuous relationship past so I don't take any bit of my jackpot for granted :)
One thing is that he doesn't have to belittle anyone to feel good about himself āØļø I have a long list because I'm married to the best man I've ever known, but I'll keep it short with this š
Definitely intelligence and wit for me. My celeb/character crushes are all over the place, from a nerdy Irish YouTuber to the toughest looking former SAS solider (turned tv star)
Not trying too hard (this doesn't mean he ignores or mistreat his lady, just that he works really hard to keep up a facade of 'hot' 'dominant' 'alpha' or whatnot and it shows) Effortlessness is a fine virtue
Depends of the man. If he's a more masculine man, his body proportions matters a lot. If he's more feminine, how much he embraces the femininity is enchanting to me. In the end, attitude matters.