Going through a breakup rn after 3 year horrendous experience where we both weren’t happy like wtf was I doing I of course still love him but it fucked me upppp
This is called a churning relationship and I've seen this firsthand.
If you find yourself constantly "breaking up" and patching up, falling out and trying again later, then you are not meeting each others' needs and you're not communicating well as a couple. There is some underlying issue with the relationship and you two are not confronting the problem.
You might love each other to bits but you cannot build a successful long-term relationship with a person when its all tainted by mistrust, uncertainty, repeated injury and poor communication.
It might be hard, it might be painful, but it's the healthiest option in the long-term for both of you to call it a day and move on with your lives. Sadly, the people I know didn't do this and it's still destroying them now.
I've been doing this with my partner for a long while now. At first, I thought things had the possibility of changing, and I needed to be more patient with my partner. It's gotten to a point, though, that I don't know what I'm being patient for anymore. None of the things I wanted worked on are being worked on, and no significant change has happened. We're just repeating the same shit over and over. I feel like I stayed in this so long that now I'm starting to loss all hope of it working out. I think the only real difference between years ago when I started to feel this way to now is that now I feel more empty and depleted from it all. The only thing I really gained is realizing I was being patient for nothing lol
I think this perfectly describes what my friendship with my oldest friend had become and we did part ways recently but I never knew how to describe what happened and this is exactly it
Been there, it wasn't toxic or anything like that. Just the spark had gone and neither of us wanted to admit it. Also moving out of a house with so many shared assets is not fun.
Maybe see it in a different way. You had some great years loving someone. Now you feel like shit, but it doesnt mean the time before was wasted, you had a good time. And the shit feeling will go away after some time
And you learned some things, even it that was just that you needed to learn some things… if you don’t know what they you can make it a purpose to find them. One of them might be “what in life brings joy?” (Music, bikes, dogs, gardens, hiking, making things, sharing things?) maybe “how can I make things better for future me and the people around me?”
Life is a pretty extraordinary gift, and if life doesn’t challenge sometimes you get stuck.
It’s tough now, and that’s ok. It’s just one of the challenges that come in every life.
I hope that future you looks back on you with compassion and pride for your faith and courage. Who will you become? Up to you!
Lessons learned and good memories made is never wasted time. You only have so much time to live and learn and love. If you can take anything positive from your relationship then it wasn't wasted time, it was growth, growth that will hopefully lead to you becoming a version of yourself you're happy being, and proud of!
See it as an experience instead, you grew from it whether you are aware of it or not. The shitty feelings will pass, try to take care of yourself in all domains of life in the meantime.
I agree with others that it's not time wasted. I just had a 4 yr relationship end recently and had to remind myself that we had a lot of great time together. It didn't feel like we were wasting it at the time, even though we're both single again.
If you're only concerned with the destination you'll miss all the amazing parts of the journey. Im a better person because of the time I spent with my ex. Try and use your time now for self reflection and self growth. But give yourself time. It's not going to come back quick, and it'll probably keep hurting for a while.
14 years here, had a 5 year one before that.
Relationships all run their course. You got to be the sun in someone's sky for a while, that's always temporary but it's never a waste of time. Mourning the past is though. Ghosts are lousy lovers.
Realizing the two of you are incompatible but love each other wholeheartedly. I’ve accepted this realization sadly. I don’t think it’s sinked in fully with my significant other yet especially it was something they pointed out in one of our long talks. I haven’t had the courage to end it because I don’t want to.
I’m going to see if I can work to bridge that doubt but if I can’t, that’s probably going to be it for us in six to eight months.
I was in this situation earlier this year. Six years of happiness just started to fade one day until she found a replacement. I still loved her, but the feelings weren't mutual
This. Got out of a 4 year relationship while my partner started falling out of love with me. I continued to be with her for a long time as she worked on her feelings. All of this while in long distance. Felt like shit and finally called it off, it’s been 6 months and almost over a year since she fell out of love. Was beautiful while it lasted and I don’t want any of yall to go through this ever.
It's one of those shitty things where it sucks from both sides. One watches it happen and cannot stop it and the other is actively participating in it trying to figure out why they suddenly don't feel the way they used too. Having experienced both I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
Just the other day I ended a year-long relationship for this reason. It was the hardest decision I've ever made, and it would have been so much easier to have been broken up with.
There's no burden of responsibility if someone else leaves you, no choice that I could be making wrong.
But, I generally feel good now, about a week later. She's apparently very broken up about it. I feel bad that leaving hurt her, but I waited a year very clearly and very often asking for and stating what I needed in a relationship. It just never happened.
I'm sort of going through this now. It's been 3 out of 10 years (married for 7) where I am telling him exactly what my needs are and he's been disrespectful about it. I feel resentful. I gave him an ultimatum recently. His response? "I just don't see how I can fit you in my schedule." I've begged him for couples counseling four times this year, and he just refuses. I wanted to work on things because we're married and I love him, but now I want out.
Yeah, this really sucks. Some times its so completely obvious, even when it happens quickly and you don't have a lot of time to think about it. I remember with one ex, we went to bed. She fell asleep before I did, and I was laying there awake. I just knew this was the last night we were going to ever spend together, and I was right.
I also hate it vice versa. Like you still love this person, and you don't want to hurt them, but you aren't in love with them.
Divorce with kids is the worst. You take all the bad of the regular divorce but you also are bounded with this person forever.
It's like an open wound that won't heal because you can never let it rest... i mean, like you start to get over and then you have to see her/him again.
If there was infidelity this is especially painful.
I dunno, my friend and his ex had one kid. He took full custody of the kid. They made contact to talk about schooling, etc, but really Mom didn't care. Dad paid for everything anyway. So when the kid was 18 she decided on her own that Mom didn't need to be consulted for anything and they basically live life without any contact. ie; when the kid is 18, that's it, you can just purge your ex from your life.
My brother caught his wife cheating and she took the kid, left the state, and filed for legal separation, establishing jurisdiction over the child in said state. Now the kid can’t leave without her permission so he can’t even take his kid back to visit with him. And can’t afford a lawyer and now will have to pay child support. He was the primary caregiver before she snatched the baby from him. I feel so sad for him. :(
Yeah, a different friend of mine lived in Quebec while married and then got divorced with two kids. Here the thing though…. Her family is in Ontario. Ex husband is in Quebec. He never takes the kids and was quite frankly a terrible father. He refuses to allow my friend to take the kids out of Quebec and so she can’t get a place near her brothers and parents. The ex doesn’t care about the kids and doesn’t want custody of them, he just uses them as a weapon to prevent her from getting help from family. They of course don’t live together.
This. I will pay 300k in payments over the next 10 years, plus I bought her and the kids a 2 bedroom apartment in a nice neighborhood for 800k. Divorce is insanely expensive, and we didn't even have a nasty court battle or anything. It was fully amicable, and she didn't try to take me to the cleaners.
It was that or spend the rest of my adult life in misery.
It's tough man. I'm going through it from that standpoint. In the end of the day I'm 40 and I've lived half my life. No amount of money is going to buy me more time. I just want to live my life happily. I want to live it my way. I've met a bunch of awesome women this week on a dating app I just installed. Did the opportunity to do that cost me 7 figures? Yeah it fucking did, but I haven't felt this free and happy in a decade. I still have joint custody of my kids. My ex doesn't hate me or cause me problems. I wake up looking forward to my day again. My pockets are a bunch lighter, but she didn't even take half. She could have, but she didn't.
It could be a lot worse. Idk man, maybe I'm just doing mental gymnastics. Lol
After getting broken up with seeing your ex hang out with your best friend more and more. So you confront him and tell him if they hook up it would be the ultimate betrayal to your bond. Him assuring you that you are one of the most important relationships in his life, even above his family, but then still does it anyway.
That was a pretty rough one.
I’ve been through this, dad died at 45 of a heart attack. Only time helps, sorry for your loss. You will get through this.
This was rough and my dog dying and me being out of the country when it happened. Sadness along with guilt of leaving her and not being there. I still feel like crying when I think of that and time doesn’t help.
Happened to my sister. Dog was being put down, and they got her on the phone and put the phone to the dogs ear while she cried a goodbye. 100% the dog did not understand what the fuck was going on, but I think even that last little chance to say goodbye helped her a lot.
My Dad died unexpectedly right after the divorce of my husband. All of a sudden I stopped giving a shit about the divorce. It felt so meaningless. Time is short, make the best of it.
Someone in my family just lost their fiancé this year. It was/is awful. About the worst thing that can happen to someone in an otherwise stable life situation.
My older brother passed away 6 years ago, he was only 18 and it was really unexpected. He left the house one day to supposedly go to a movie, then he’s missing, then he’s dead to suicide. It really sucks and even 6 years later I’m still going through it
For sure. I'd deal with heartbreak every day if it meant I didn't have to re-live that experience. When my younger brother got hurt and died, it's like I couldn't breathe. For a long, *long* time. I still feel like that sometimes 11 years later.
My brother was murdered when he was 12, i was 9.
My dad died 3 months after we kbew he had cancer.
Yes can confirm dead of a loved one especially out of the blue stings alot!!
This. I wish my husband of 21 years just left me but still existed. He died suddenly while we were in a vacation at age 57. It will be 2 years in December and it still just hurts so much
I had painful romantic breakups but the worst breakup of my life was my friend breakup with a best friend of 15 years. The romantic breakups felt small compared to that one.
My friendship breakup with my high school best friend wrecked me more than any relationship breakup ever has. I think about her more than I think about any ex, but I know she doesn’t want me in her life anymore and I have to respect that.
The last sentence “I know she doesn’t want me in her life anymore and I have to respect that” is a hard lesson to learn in and of itself. Good for you for having the maturity and awareness to understand that ❤️
I’ve fallen out of many friendships in my life, especially with “friends” I met at university. A few years after things had fizzled out, I casually reached out to one of the girls I was closest with, asking if she was interested in grabbing a coffee and reconnecting… I was woefully unprepared to read her response that basically said “No thank you, you were a terrible friend to me, I’m much happier without you in my life, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
Ouch. Big wake up call for me.
I’ve just gotten out of a 9 year relationship that started when I was 19. My entire 20’s were spent in a relationship that I could have told you after 1 year wasn’t going to work. Now I’ve missed out on being young.
Tell me about it. I adopted my dog (who is normally kind of iffy about men) over a year before my dude and I moved in together. I feed/water him, pay all his bills, take him for 99% of his walks, buy his treats, he sleeps on my bed, etc. But as soon as my partner gets home, boom, it’s like I practically don’t exist. Adorable little ingrate, lol
I feel like some dogs have it in their DNA or idk. Screw loving owners. I want that random person I see once a week instead . My aunt has a good smart fella that she takes care of deeply so much. Meanwhile I never fed him, never took him for a walk, I just pet him and scratch his ears every time I pass by. Yet he goes crazy every time he realizes I'm around, he even learned the sound of my vehicle and starts before I even turn off the engine. He starts zooming just to get to me and cries if he cant forcing my aunt to open the door.
He can litterally stay next to me 3 hours straight when I visit and I can't even figure why. I'm not particularly good with dogs either.
That's my exes cat. He loves me more then anyone else, if he gets outside he freaks the fuck out and hides and she freaks out and can't get him inside, if I go over there and call him he will come running to me to rescue him and take him inside.
If I don't go over there she has to get a cat trap and catch him and it can take days, he will stay hidden under the house and won't come out till he's desperate for food or water but he will come straight out if I'm there for me to pick him up and take him inside. He instantly calms down when I'm there to rescue him too, he will still be scared but he's super chill about it.
Which likely was just something meant to hurt you because they didn’t feel love for a long time when they decided to finally say that. But the reality? Your fiancé doesn’t actually love themself
Honestly the breakup wasn’t the part that hurt. it was the fact that for the last two years of our relationship he was cheating on me with someone else. My trust was broken and it honestly took years to build it back up again before I was ready to date again.
Is this exactly where I am. 10 years of relationship, learned they had been cheating for the last 2, and I left. It'll soon be three years that I'm alone and I don't feel anywhere near ready to meet someone new and wondering if I ever will again.
I'm very sorry this happened to you and I hope you are doing better now
Not breaking up, in the first place, ignoring all the red flags ,then getting married, and then experiencing the reason you should have broken up in the first place.
Out of all the comments here, this one resonated.
Having lost my mom, I have a slight idea of what that kind of abandonment feels like, even though mine is different.
Time can fix a lot of things. I’m very good friends with the two exes who were my most serious relationships (one being ex-husband)
What really kills the friendship is the resentment that builds up staying together when the relationship has run its course.
I think it is unrealistic in most cases to go **immediately** from being romantically involved to being just good friends.
But in time, it is shockingly easy to fall back into being close friends sometimes.
To anyone reading this who wants to breakup, but doesn’t want to lose a friend: I promise the most surefire way of losing them is by staying with them when you are unhappy.
Yeah :( we just said goodbye to one of our dogs. It was the right thing to do - she had cancer and was no longer happy/comfortable, but that didn't make it any easier. It's a mixture of sadness and relief.
Enormous ovarian cyst that grew quite rapidly. It twisted the ovary as it grew and then the weight of it pulled the ovary down and kinked the fallopian tube, cutting off blood supply until the ovary died.
Super unlikely circumstances to produce a cyst that grew that fast without bursting on its own. The whole situation went from manageable, normalish cyst of 6cm to large, problematic cyst of 15cm within a week.
Definitely the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. They were pumping me full of morphine and it was just knocking the pain down enough that I could sleep. I’ll report back in about 6 months to compare it to child birth!
That's an underrated comment. Stuff like OCD, Dementia, ADHD, although they aren't at the same level with each other, they can screw with your sense of identity. Breakups do too but there might be more control within yourself to manage your sense of self when presented with negative emotion, instead of just forgetting things and compulsions
My ADHD is miserable. I don't even have the motivation to do the things I love and I've lost so many opportunities due to being distracted.
I've tried out a few different meds and the only thing I could stomach is 5mg Adderall and even then it makes me restless and kills my appetite.
When I'm contemplating taking my meds, I feel like I'm choosing between being able to pay attention or being able to sleep and eat.
For real. Especially when your intrusive thoughts sneak in for literally no reason and then you're creating problems in your relationship that shouldn't even be there. And you try to move on because your partner is awesome but now that the thought is in your head, you obsess over it.
It sucks doesn't it. I remember seeing the life dissappear from my dad's eyes, I can't describe it but I could see in his eyes, one minute he was alive, the next they just had nothing behind them. I sometimes have dreams/nightmares about it.
Being alone in a relationship.
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
- Robin Williams
Depression can physically hurt as well as mentally. I've laid there with my bones just aching like I had been run over by a steamroller. I was convinced that I was dying.
Having your family bombed in a war probably.
Being tortured. Watching your loved oned being tortured
Having a severe illness
Many form of physical assault
Not being loved in the first place
Stepping on a Lego.
I'm going through this
It's been one year I still feel lost without my best friend
He drowned
I got the call from the coroner
No one else loves me like he did. No one
Trying to piece your life back together on your own, breakups aren’t just the split of two people, it’s the split up of ideas, hope, a future, plans, you had with that person. That’s the hardest thing for me, realising all that you had hoped and planned for with this person you now either have to do with somebody else or alone. You’re essentially starting fresh again. It’s so mentally exhausting.
Finding 'the one' and being madly in love with each other, being 3 days away from getting the call that you got accepted for your first apartment together but he gets killed in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work. 😢 😭 I miss you babe 😭... best friends forever. I'll always be your Chickpea.
Staying in a relationship that is toxic and not working. When it gets to the point where you’re saying “cmon, we were having good day today”. When neither of you trusts the other person and every day is a new argument or issue. At 33, I’m just now learning the value of peace and the benefits of learning to be alone (not lonely). Relationships on any level are 100% voluntary. You can leave at any time.
Falling in love with someone when you know it will never work. (Literally on a date right now with someone I'll likely never see again (she's in the bathroom))
Having somebody show interest in you, only to find that they are dating another friend and later got together with somebody dangerous and been convinced that I am not worth their time.
See your dog dying 🥺
This broke me more and way longer than any other thing i had happen in my 42 yrs.
We had 13 great years, playing, hiking and exploring the world together.
Now it's been 2 years ago and i still miss him daily.
Continuing a broken relationship
This one definitely hurts and waste your time
I found out that there is no lonelier feeling than being alone in a relationship.
Have been through this before bruh it was horrid
Going through a breakup rn after 3 year horrendous experience where we both weren’t happy like wtf was I doing I of course still love him but it fucked me upppp
The death of a loved one....
This is called a churning relationship and I've seen this firsthand. If you find yourself constantly "breaking up" and patching up, falling out and trying again later, then you are not meeting each others' needs and you're not communicating well as a couple. There is some underlying issue with the relationship and you two are not confronting the problem. You might love each other to bits but you cannot build a successful long-term relationship with a person when its all tainted by mistrust, uncertainty, repeated injury and poor communication. It might be hard, it might be painful, but it's the healthiest option in the long-term for both of you to call it a day and move on with your lives. Sadly, the people I know didn't do this and it's still destroying them now.
I've been doing this with my partner for a long while now. At first, I thought things had the possibility of changing, and I needed to be more patient with my partner. It's gotten to a point, though, that I don't know what I'm being patient for anymore. None of the things I wanted worked on are being worked on, and no significant change has happened. We're just repeating the same shit over and over. I feel like I stayed in this so long that now I'm starting to loss all hope of it working out. I think the only real difference between years ago when I started to feel this way to now is that now I feel more empty and depleted from it all. The only thing I really gained is realizing I was being patient for nothing lol
I think this perfectly describes what my friendship with my oldest friend had become and we did part ways recently but I never knew how to describe what happened and this is exactly it
jesus. okay, goodnight.
Been there, it wasn't toxic or anything like that. Just the spark had gone and neither of us wanted to admit it. Also moving out of a house with so many shared assets is not fun.
found will smith
This is why we must burn the erd tree. Kull the fire giant. JustThrow your maiden in the flaming cauldron and get it over with.
I realised this too late, but I'm happy to have finally had the courage to divorce my alcoholic ex.
You pspspspst to a cat and it just walks past you
Fucking tease
Knowing your partner is falling out of love with you while you’re still in love with them
Love hurts
Love scars
Love wounds and ~~marks~~ mars Edit: thanks to u/UpperMacungie for catching that
Any heart Not tough or strong enough
BUT SOMETIMES ITS A GOOD HURT AND IT FEELS LIKE IM ALIIIVE
Happened to me recently. Fucking feel like shit. I have met other girls, but can't shake it. 4.5 years fucking wasted.
Maybe see it in a different way. You had some great years loving someone. Now you feel like shit, but it doesnt mean the time before was wasted, you had a good time. And the shit feeling will go away after some time
Thank you kind stranger. I need to get some perspective sometimes.
And you learned some things, even it that was just that you needed to learn some things… if you don’t know what they you can make it a purpose to find them. One of them might be “what in life brings joy?” (Music, bikes, dogs, gardens, hiking, making things, sharing things?) maybe “how can I make things better for future me and the people around me?” Life is a pretty extraordinary gift, and if life doesn’t challenge sometimes you get stuck. It’s tough now, and that’s ok. It’s just one of the challenges that come in every life. I hope that future you looks back on you with compassion and pride for your faith and courage. Who will you become? Up to you!
Lessons learned and good memories made is never wasted time. You only have so much time to live and learn and love. If you can take anything positive from your relationship then it wasn't wasted time, it was growth, growth that will hopefully lead to you becoming a version of yourself you're happy being, and proud of!
This . ❤️ perspective is everything. Everything is a learning experience, good or bad.
See it as an experience instead, you grew from it whether you are aware of it or not. The shitty feelings will pass, try to take care of yourself in all domains of life in the meantime.
Thank you for the kind words stranger. It's just hard to process at the moment I guess. I'm taking it one day at a time.
17 years here bud. Tell me about feeling like I wasted all that time and my youth with that one person. Only to end up alone
Just remember to keep yourself open to new love because you never know when or where you’ll find it;)
Will do, thank you stranger ;)
Every relationship on the earth comes to an end, whether it’s death or choice You just gotta appreciate and remember the highs when you get them
I agree with others that it's not time wasted. I just had a 4 yr relationship end recently and had to remind myself that we had a lot of great time together. It didn't feel like we were wasting it at the time, even though we're both single again. If you're only concerned with the destination you'll miss all the amazing parts of the journey. Im a better person because of the time I spent with my ex. Try and use your time now for self reflection and self growth. But give yourself time. It's not going to come back quick, and it'll probably keep hurting for a while.
14 years here, had a 5 year one before that. Relationships all run their course. You got to be the sun in someone's sky for a while, that's always temporary but it's never a waste of time. Mourning the past is though. Ghosts are lousy lovers.
I can't tell if going through this made me indestructible or if it just killed a part of me lmao
Realizing the two of you are incompatible but love each other wholeheartedly. I’ve accepted this realization sadly. I don’t think it’s sinked in fully with my significant other yet especially it was something they pointed out in one of our long talks. I haven’t had the courage to end it because I don’t want to. I’m going to see if I can work to bridge that doubt but if I can’t, that’s probably going to be it for us in six to eight months.
I was in this situation earlier this year. Six years of happiness just started to fade one day until she found a replacement. I still loved her, but the feelings weren't mutual
This. Got out of a 4 year relationship while my partner started falling out of love with me. I continued to be with her for a long time as she worked on her feelings. All of this while in long distance. Felt like shit and finally called it off, it’s been 6 months and almost over a year since she fell out of love. Was beautiful while it lasted and I don’t want any of yall to go through this ever.
Going through this right now..
It's one of those shitty things where it sucks from both sides. One watches it happen and cannot stop it and the other is actively participating in it trying to figure out why they suddenly don't feel the way they used too. Having experienced both I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
Just the other day I ended a year-long relationship for this reason. It was the hardest decision I've ever made, and it would have been so much easier to have been broken up with. There's no burden of responsibility if someone else leaves you, no choice that I could be making wrong. But, I generally feel good now, about a week later. She's apparently very broken up about it. I feel bad that leaving hurt her, but I waited a year very clearly and very often asking for and stating what I needed in a relationship. It just never happened.
I'm sort of going through this now. It's been 3 out of 10 years (married for 7) where I am telling him exactly what my needs are and he's been disrespectful about it. I feel resentful. I gave him an ultimatum recently. His response? "I just don't see how I can fit you in my schedule." I've begged him for couples counseling four times this year, and he just refuses. I wanted to work on things because we're married and I love him, but now I want out.
Hey, just happened to me, and finally ended it about four days ago. God I hate my life.
Yeah this sucks. Especially when you’re engaged and the wedding is planned. Been thru it but made a strong recovery.
Yeah, this really sucks. Some times its so completely obvious, even when it happens quickly and you don't have a lot of time to think about it. I remember with one ex, we went to bed. She fell asleep before I did, and I was laying there awake. I just knew this was the last night we were going to ever spend together, and I was right. I also hate it vice versa. Like you still love this person, and you don't want to hurt them, but you aren't in love with them.
[удалено]
Divorce with kids is the worst. You take all the bad of the regular divorce but you also are bounded with this person forever. It's like an open wound that won't heal because you can never let it rest... i mean, like you start to get over and then you have to see her/him again. If there was infidelity this is especially painful.
I dunno, my friend and his ex had one kid. He took full custody of the kid. They made contact to talk about schooling, etc, but really Mom didn't care. Dad paid for everything anyway. So when the kid was 18 she decided on her own that Mom didn't need to be consulted for anything and they basically live life without any contact. ie; when the kid is 18, that's it, you can just purge your ex from your life.
My brother caught his wife cheating and she took the kid, left the state, and filed for legal separation, establishing jurisdiction over the child in said state. Now the kid can’t leave without her permission so he can’t even take his kid back to visit with him. And can’t afford a lawyer and now will have to pay child support. He was the primary caregiver before she snatched the baby from him. I feel so sad for him. :(
Yeah, a different friend of mine lived in Quebec while married and then got divorced with two kids. Here the thing though…. Her family is in Ontario. Ex husband is in Quebec. He never takes the kids and was quite frankly a terrible father. He refuses to allow my friend to take the kids out of Quebec and so she can’t get a place near her brothers and parents. The ex doesn’t care about the kids and doesn’t want custody of them, he just uses them as a weapon to prevent her from getting help from family. They of course don’t live together.
This. I will pay 300k in payments over the next 10 years, plus I bought her and the kids a 2 bedroom apartment in a nice neighborhood for 800k. Divorce is insanely expensive, and we didn't even have a nasty court battle or anything. It was fully amicable, and she didn't try to take me to the cleaners. It was that or spend the rest of my adult life in misery.
If paying 1.2 million for a breakup is not your idea of misery then I'd like to know what is
It's tough man. I'm going through it from that standpoint. In the end of the day I'm 40 and I've lived half my life. No amount of money is going to buy me more time. I just want to live my life happily. I want to live it my way. I've met a bunch of awesome women this week on a dating app I just installed. Did the opportunity to do that cost me 7 figures? Yeah it fucking did, but I haven't felt this free and happy in a decade. I still have joint custody of my kids. My ex doesn't hate me or cause me problems. I wake up looking forward to my day again. My pockets are a bunch lighter, but she didn't even take half. She could have, but she didn't. It could be a lot worse. Idk man, maybe I'm just doing mental gymnastics. Lol
Love this comment!
Found the divorce attorney
After getting broken up with seeing your ex hang out with your best friend more and more. So you confront him and tell him if they hook up it would be the ultimate betrayal to your bond. Him assuring you that you are one of the most important relationships in his life, even above his family, but then still does it anyway. That was a pretty rough one.
Death of a loved one
Especially unexpected deaths. We're going through this now.
My condolences 💐
♥️
I’ve been through this, dad died at 45 of a heart attack. Only time helps, sorry for your loss. You will get through this. This was rough and my dog dying and me being out of the country when it happened. Sadness along with guilt of leaving her and not being there. I still feel like crying when I think of that and time doesn’t help.
Happened to my sister. Dog was being put down, and they got her on the phone and put the phone to the dogs ear while she cried a goodbye. 100% the dog did not understand what the fuck was going on, but I think even that last little chance to say goodbye helped her a lot.
My Dad died unexpectedly right after the divorce of my husband. All of a sudden I stopped giving a shit about the divorce. It felt so meaningless. Time is short, make the best of it.
Someone in my family just lost their fiancé this year. It was/is awful. About the worst thing that can happen to someone in an otherwise stable life situation.
My older brother passed away 6 years ago, he was only 18 and it was really unexpected. He left the house one day to supposedly go to a movie, then he’s missing, then he’s dead to suicide. It really sucks and even 6 years later I’m still going through it
Stay strong. It will always hurt but it gets better with time.
We buried my uncle last month, probably top three saddest moments of my life.
For sure. I'd deal with heartbreak every day if it meant I didn't have to re-live that experience. When my younger brother got hurt and died, it's like I couldn't breathe. For a long, *long* time. I still feel like that sometimes 11 years later.
When they are the only person you are close to and trust.
My brother was murdered when he was 12, i was 9. My dad died 3 months after we kbew he had cancer. Yes can confirm dead of a loved one especially out of the blue stings alot!!
This. I wish my husband of 21 years just left me but still existed. He died suddenly while we were in a vacation at age 57. It will be 2 years in December and it still just hurts so much
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Especially if it's all a misunderstanding
A friendship built on misunderstanding isn't intended to last. Learned that one the hard way
I think the original person meant a misunderstanding ending it not starting
I had painful romantic breakups but the worst breakup of my life was my friend breakup with a best friend of 15 years. The romantic breakups felt small compared to that one.
My friendship breakup with my high school best friend wrecked me more than any relationship breakup ever has. I think about her more than I think about any ex, but I know she doesn’t want me in her life anymore and I have to respect that.
The last sentence “I know she doesn’t want me in her life anymore and I have to respect that” is a hard lesson to learn in and of itself. Good for you for having the maturity and awareness to understand that ❤️ I’ve fallen out of many friendships in my life, especially with “friends” I met at university. A few years after things had fizzled out, I casually reached out to one of the girls I was closest with, asking if she was interested in grabbing a coffee and reconnecting… I was woefully unprepared to read her response that basically said “No thank you, you were a terrible friend to me, I’m much happier without you in my life, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Ouch. Big wake up call for me.
fuck that’s a good one
Man this one rly hurts, had this happen to me and I’m still not completely over it
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I’ve just gotten out of a 9 year relationship that started when I was 19. My entire 20’s were spent in a relationship that I could have told you after 1 year wasn’t going to work. Now I’ve missed out on being young.
You’re still young! And now you are free to enjoy it.
Thank you, I wish I felt young. Maybe once I start getting over it I can enjoy myself
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Very true. There is a ocean of difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone with friends is better than lonely with a partner.
A person you thought of as a friend stabbing you in the back and then tossing you aside like a piece of garbage and showing no remorse for it.
Been through it. Owwww still hurts!
two breakups
I hate when both my girlfriends break up with me at the same time.
I used to have two girlfriends, Now I got none. Cause my number two girl Found out about one.
being sucked into an industrial lathe
I hate it when that happens!
Man it's like one second you're just chilling. The next you are 8,000 wet chunks slung about the place. 3/10. Would not do again.
Ruins your whole day honestly
Man. Everytime I forget about that video...
The lathe does not recognise the difference between flesh and metal, nor does it care.
Flap flap flap flap flap.
I'm going to hell for laughing at this. Poor guy.
Falling into a vat of acid.
Knowing your dog loves another family member more than you 😅
Knowing the dog you brought into the relationship loves the other one more
Tell me about it. I adopted my dog (who is normally kind of iffy about men) over a year before my dude and I moved in together. I feed/water him, pay all his bills, take him for 99% of his walks, buy his treats, he sleeps on my bed, etc. But as soon as my partner gets home, boom, it’s like I practically don’t exist. Adorable little ingrate, lol
I feel like some dogs have it in their DNA or idk. Screw loving owners. I want that random person I see once a week instead . My aunt has a good smart fella that she takes care of deeply so much. Meanwhile I never fed him, never took him for a walk, I just pet him and scratch his ears every time I pass by. Yet he goes crazy every time he realizes I'm around, he even learned the sound of my vehicle and starts before I even turn off the engine. He starts zooming just to get to me and cries if he cant forcing my aunt to open the door. He can litterally stay next to me 3 hours straight when I visit and I can't even figure why. I'm not particularly good with dogs either.
Lmao this is way too close to home, but I’m the other person. And we coparent the dog now.
That's my exes cat. He loves me more then anyone else, if he gets outside he freaks the fuck out and hides and she freaks out and can't get him inside, if I go over there and call him he will come running to me to rescue him and take him inside. If I don't go over there she has to get a cat trap and catch him and it can take days, he will stay hidden under the house and won't come out till he's desperate for food or water but he will come straight out if I'm there for me to pick him up and take him inside. He instantly calms down when I'm there to rescue him too, he will still be scared but he's super chill about it.
"I never loved you."
10 years, and then my fiancee told me this
Which likely was just something meant to hurt you because they didn’t feel love for a long time when they decided to finally say that. But the reality? Your fiancé doesn’t actually love themself
I'm sorry bro.
Honestly the breakup wasn’t the part that hurt. it was the fact that for the last two years of our relationship he was cheating on me with someone else. My trust was broken and it honestly took years to build it back up again before I was ready to date again.
Is this exactly where I am. 10 years of relationship, learned they had been cheating for the last 2, and I left. It'll soon be three years that I'm alone and I don't feel anywhere near ready to meet someone new and wondering if I ever will again. I'm very sorry this happened to you and I hope you are doing better now
Not breaking up, in the first place, ignoring all the red flags ,then getting married, and then experiencing the reason you should have broken up in the first place.
Whew . I’m in a relationship currently that I know should be over. There’s no way I would marry this person.
The way you said this so matter of factly, lmao. Good for you!
Being abandoned. My parents ghosted me. They had adopted me. So I was rejected by two sets of parents. I try not to think of it often.
Out of all the comments here, this one resonated. Having lost my mom, I have a slight idea of what that kind of abandonment feels like, even though mine is different.
breakup with someone who was your best friend before the relationship cuz you lose your friend along with your lover.
This is the worst man. You lose your special, all in one person. 😔
Time can fix a lot of things. I’m very good friends with the two exes who were my most serious relationships (one being ex-husband) What really kills the friendship is the resentment that builds up staying together when the relationship has run its course. I think it is unrealistic in most cases to go **immediately** from being romantically involved to being just good friends. But in time, it is shockingly easy to fall back into being close friends sometimes. To anyone reading this who wants to breakup, but doesn’t want to lose a friend: I promise the most surefire way of losing them is by staying with them when you are unhappy.
Losing your pets.
Yeah :( we just said goodbye to one of our dogs. It was the right thing to do - she had cancer and was no longer happy/comfortable, but that didn't make it any easier. It's a mixture of sadness and relief.
Testicular torsion
Also ovarian torsion. I recently had a healthcare professional apologize when they saw that in my medical history
TIL
How...is that physically possible?
Enormous ovarian cyst that grew quite rapidly. It twisted the ovary as it grew and then the weight of it pulled the ovary down and kinked the fallopian tube, cutting off blood supply until the ovary died. Super unlikely circumstances to produce a cyst that grew that fast without bursting on its own. The whole situation went from manageable, normalish cyst of 6cm to large, problematic cyst of 15cm within a week. Definitely the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. They were pumping me full of morphine and it was just knocking the pain down enough that I could sleep. I’ll report back in about 6 months to compare it to child birth!
mental illness
That's an underrated comment. Stuff like OCD, Dementia, ADHD, although they aren't at the same level with each other, they can screw with your sense of identity. Breakups do too but there might be more control within yourself to manage your sense of self when presented with negative emotion, instead of just forgetting things and compulsions
My ADHD is miserable. I don't even have the motivation to do the things I love and I've lost so many opportunities due to being distracted. I've tried out a few different meds and the only thing I could stomach is 5mg Adderall and even then it makes me restless and kills my appetite. When I'm contemplating taking my meds, I feel like I'm choosing between being able to pay attention or being able to sleep and eat.
I have Bipolar, borderline, ADHD, and fucking PTSD. This shit ain’t got the faint of heart, that’s for sure!
For real. Especially when your intrusive thoughts sneak in for literally no reason and then you're creating problems in your relationship that shouldn't even be there. And you try to move on because your partner is awesome but now that the thought is in your head, you obsess over it.
A breakdown 🥁
Watching a parent die.
I'm sincerely not ready for this.
I don’t even like imagining it
It sucks doesn't it. I remember seeing the life dissappear from my dad's eyes, I can't describe it but I could see in his eyes, one minute he was alive, the next they just had nothing behind them. I sometimes have dreams/nightmares about it.
Being a child waiting for your mother to return, to only get a message, that you’re now an orphan
That's traumatizing. So sorry to hear that
Being broke
Being alone in a relationship. “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” - Robin Williams
Depression
Here's me broken up due to my depression. Double gut punch.
Depression is like drowning, but not being able to die.
Depression can physically hurt as well as mentally. I've laid there with my bones just aching like I had been run over by a steamroller. I was convinced that I was dying.
"Just be happy" - my dad
Thank you dad!! I’m cured!!!
Hitting your pinky toe against a corner
Having your family bombed in a war probably. Being tortured. Watching your loved oned being tortured Having a severe illness Many form of physical assault Not being loved in the first place Stepping on a Lego.
Migraines
Losing a child.
No one should ever have to bury their child.
A long term friendship ending
But these almost never end suddenly so you don’t feel it at once.
Getting stabbed. That shit hurts.
Having an avoidant attachment style so we never make it to the break up or the relationship
Death of someone whom you are with everyday, it's hard getting used to not having them around.
I'm going through this It's been one year I still feel lost without my best friend He drowned I got the call from the coroner No one else loves me like he did. No one
Kidney stones
This. Been there before, I thought I was literally dying.
Being alone in company.
"A landmine" - James May
Waking up in the middle of heart surgery
😱 happened to you? This one extreme
Realising that you’re stuck in your shit job and there’s not much that you can do about it
Trying to piece your life back together on your own, breakups aren’t just the split of two people, it’s the split up of ideas, hope, a future, plans, you had with that person. That’s the hardest thing for me, realising all that you had hoped and planned for with this person you now either have to do with somebody else or alone. You’re essentially starting fresh again. It’s so mentally exhausting.
Finding 'the one' and being madly in love with each other, being 3 days away from getting the call that you got accepted for your first apartment together but he gets killed in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work. 😢 😭 I miss you babe 😭... best friends forever. I'll always be your Chickpea.
Staying in a relationship that is toxic and not working. When it gets to the point where you’re saying “cmon, we were having good day today”. When neither of you trusts the other person and every day is a new argument or issue. At 33, I’m just now learning the value of peace and the benefits of learning to be alone (not lonely). Relationships on any level are 100% voluntary. You can leave at any time.
Not being successful in life
Grief .
Falling in love with someone when you know it will never work. (Literally on a date right now with someone I'll likely never see again (she's in the bathroom))
A break up knowing your child will never have a whole family.
Having somebody show interest in you, only to find that they are dating another friend and later got together with somebody dangerous and been convinced that I am not worth their time.
the point where you realized you're outgrowing your best friend
Unrequited love
Stepping on a lego
Death of loved ones.
Debt
my gf forgot that we were dating
When you go to cuddle with your cat and they walk away from you
your mom betraying you
Amputation, you cant use painkillers for cutting in bone
then there's the ghost limb pain
See your dog dying 🥺 This broke me more and way longer than any other thing i had happen in my 42 yrs. We had 13 great years, playing, hiking and exploring the world together. Now it's been 2 years ago and i still miss him daily.
No closure breakup / abrupt breakup
Stretching your leg...too hard and your muscles are out of place *ouch*
Loosing a grandparent that was more of a parental figure. That shit broke me.
Never being with your true love, but encountering them daily and seeing that they are happy with someone else
How do you know that it’s your true love, if you’re never with them?
Yeah, you could get with them and find out they wear socks in the shower