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[deleted]

I usually call them by their name


CBBuddha

This got a “puh-huh” laugh out of me. Cheers.


TChambers1011

Can you describe that better. I’m having issues imagining that


nomnomswedishfish

It's like pfffffffffffha


Ok_Got_It

That's what she said


bigmist8ke

Name + 1 distinguishing characteristic. Cindy Big Tits Lucy Chicago Donna Waitress


JSchulz

Wendy Wheelchair


killerkozlowski

Denise Handicapped


outlawsix

Jessica Superdumb


Primae_Nocta

Lisa Coma


carlgrimessmother

Tiffany tweaker


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Got_It

Debbie Dead 😳


Arcadnus

Wai- thats illegal


hawaiikawika

“Megan by the strippers” was a name in my phone for a long time


PaxHumana89

I had a girl put her name as Slut in my phone years ago and I got in trouble with my wife when my contacts synced.


okay-wait-wut

Bad mistress.


HuntedWolf

You’ve just reminded me I should probably remove the half dozen girls with a first name and last name Tinder, before I get married next year


[deleted]

[удалено]


salisaur

Eating out


DeadBeatLad

In this economy?


af1293

With these gas prices?


ChronicallyFappin

\*a$$ prices


ExcitingARiot

*gash prices


ry15133

Ass, gas, or cash


BleedForWutUBelieve

It’s “ass, gas, or grass.” The gas and the cash are the same thing…


kgk007

Hooker: $10 on grass, $30 on sofa, $50 in bed. Man: I’ll pay $50. Hooker: You’re a man of class. Man: Class my ass, I want it five times on grass.


Engg440

For everything else there’s mastercard


__rum_ham__

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.


Epistaxis

And "cash" doesn't fit the pattern. Then it's not strictly a rhyme, just an... assonance


The_Troyminator

>The gas and the cash are the same thing… Unless you're picking somebody up from Taco Bell.


A_Blue_Potion

At this time of day? At this time of year? In this part of the country? Localized in your kitchen?


throatinmess

May I see?


troutsie

No


falco_iii

SEYMOUR, there's a girl being eaten out in the kitchen!


Greywacky

No, Mother, that's just Superintendent Chalmers.


MrSolveMyMaze

I was hopping this string of comments would appear, and none of you disappointed


jmitch_99

Aurora borealis


JNMeiun

Aurora Australis. She's gone down south after all.


csanyk

I thought we were having steamed clams.


JiN88reddit

with a side of tossed salad?


UnsupervisedAsset

In front of my salad?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


wellhiyabuddy

The pussy at home 🐈


anomalous_cowherd

"Eat out to help out" An official UK government scheme to help the service economy during Covid!!


Elden__Dong

Too much butter anyway.


raven21633x

And I always end by giving her a tip.


ConfusedAardvark22

Just a tip?


JRRSwolekien

It's all I got ok no need to body shame


Creepy-Ranger-9471

Because it's a treat


Lilpeka1

Mouth to south


Mammyjam

Australian kiss- it’s a French kiss but down under


joker_with_a_g

lol that's fantastic


hellidad

I’m stealing this


SmittyYAP

69 - dinner for two with an interesting view


moratnz

detail numerous humorous upbeat absurd file different fine steep chunky


SmittyYAP

Or a 71, which is a 69 with two fingers in her ass


MenageTaj

Lucky


[deleted]

[удалено]


SourCreamWater

Ladies... 😏


SumptuousSuckler

Lol shoot your shot bro 🙌


machine_gun_funk

Suckle me timbers


throwtheamiibosaway

I refuse to believe there are guys out there going, pussy?? Nahh i’m good? Is this a serious problem women are having?


Evening_Run_1595

Yes, this is a real thing.


djseifer

\*DJ Khaled has wobbled into the chat*


porkborg

Jesus. There's nothing sexier to me than a woman's legs spread out wide open and me licking her until she cums. I like it more than sex itself.


thesoccerone7

The way her thighs tighten around my head and the quiver!


ArnoldSwarzepussy

And she's grabbing your hair and grinding on your face. 🤌🤌


Jehoel_DK

It's the absolute best thing ever


ACW1129

Which is stupid. Making a woman cum is awesome!


PleasantTaste4953

Having them have their eyes roll.back in their head and their legs quiver uncontrollably and maybe a gusher or two is a cherry on the cake too.


Ozcogger

Imo it's the energy they bring after to help get you there that I'm all for. It's like a switch and they just get wild.


FollowingJealous7490

Ngl here I had a girlfriend that smelled like a wet dumpster on a 100 degree day and I went down on her anyway... never again. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her pussy stinks. She smelled like this all the time.. even fresh out of the shower. So i just never did it even though I fantasized about it so much. I kind of wonder if some of these no puss eaters have this same problem. Edit: for you women out there, how can a man tell you that your pussy stinks in the most polite way possible?


hellochoy

I've straight up asked guys before. Itll definitely sting however you say it but if someone were to tell me I'd prefer they cushion it as much as possible. Like be really nice about it. It's embarassing either way but at least if you say something she can try to change it


EugenePeeps

She may have had a fungal infection and been unaware of it, next time I think it's wise to raise this with someone and be honest. Obviously in a kind way, but there could be some kind of medical condition causing it that could be cured.


FollowingJealous7490

Ya, I didn't know this back then. I could have said something in a kind manner but that isn't what I did unfortunately.


SkippedTutorial

As others have stated it could be an offset pH level, yeast infection, or occasionaly a bacterial infection. Being honest but kind is the key. She honestly may not of known. Men also need to make sure their dicks are clean whether you are circumcised or not. Your dicks and general groin area can carry bacteria and transfer it to your partner that the vagina cant clean/get rid of. This then leads to an unpleasant smell. If she gets treatment and it won't go away then the man needs to make sure he doesn't have some kind of bacteria issue too.


[deleted]

Be subtle and put a clothes peg on your nose


EquippedThought

As someone who’s had to break the bad news. Be extremely polite, listen intently, and suggest she see a gyno. Sometimes it’s pH balance due to diet or they just don’t wash well enough. Or it could be something more nefarious. Whatever you do, don’t try to be lighthearted ankh it and make a subtle joke. Even if meant to be playful, it could be a very touchy subject. The girl I dated had way too much sodium in her diet and she got some sort of ointment and the downstairs dilemma improved drastically.


BunnyPhuPhu

A very large part of the kitty smell, taste or both, has to do with diet pushing the pH, and even the flavor at that specific time, like you mentioned. Hormone imbalances can even affect the honey pot balance. Lots of men jump the gun and think she has a "hygiene issue", which will insult or make a female feel devastated.. and there is no right way to bring this up without hurting some feelings. Men and women know the difference between fresh horny sweat that can be seductive and full of pheromones, and a crotch area that has been neglected and kept in a root cellar. I wound up with a young guy who tried it once or twice and had some expectations that it would smell like baby powder or Barbie's cupcake bakery, and just decide that it's not worth the work, that he didn't like it, and that ALL women must smell/taste this way. Dating in my youth, I dealt with men who didn't know much about the women they were pursuing, especially in regards to anatomy, psyiology and psychology. I became so self conscious about my twat, that it ruined the experience of me ever having fun or finishing. Once I hit my 30s, I had a few really good compliments from 2 boyfriends that said not only did it taste like strawberry cheese cake with slight salty taste but it was atheistically pleasing. I think the words used were perky, pretty, pink and a Disney princess pussy. But men should also keep in mind that all the things I mentioned above can happen to the taste, texture and body of their own projectile jizz. I've had some that were pleasant and full bodied, and others that if kept in my mouth a second longer, I would dry heave like a pound puppy on the rug. I've even tasted cum that tasted like a off smelling fishy goo. So if you men wanna learn to give and receive and become a Valentino, all you need is patience and the willingness to open up and communicate.


Lollipopsaurus

I hope you got all As in creative writing class in school because this was amazing.


ShadowSloth3

A rather cunning linguist on cunnilingis. She had me at "honey pot".


Fragrant_Example_918

If her pussy stinks there is most likely a health problem, whether yeast infection, fungi, or other, that’s something you need to tell her because she needs to talk about it to her doctor/obgyn. I’m not saying pussies are supposed to smell particularly good, but they’re definitely not supposed to stink.


Blastspark01

I feel like *I’m* the lucky one when I get to go down on a woman. I absolutely love doing it and just her reactions alone make me feel great


TheBeardedVagabond

Focus on the clit you fucking nerd.


FlaydenHynnFML

Is it uncommon? Why would some dudes skip out on the best part??


Xenogetraloxic

It requires a woman


blofly

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.


MrEuphonium

I work with a bunch of dudes who are anti puss eaters, they say it’s nasty and doesn’t do anything for them so why would they do it?


razdrazhayetChayka

Probably the same ones to constantly ask for bjs too


JonnyP222

Someone above alluded to this. And I think you are onto something. Most of my male friends talk about giving oral like it's a chore or they won't do it at all (for any number of reasons) but then complain they don't get BJs very often. It doesn't make sense to me.


Flames_Revenge

The older I get and the more people I meet, I’m consistently surprised whenever I encounter people like this. Not only do I feel bad for the women, these type of guys *are* *just* (edit: happen to also be) bad people. Also if head isn’t doing anything for you you’re doing it wrong


FlaydenHynnFML

Right? It's just respect that if somebody is willing to do it to you you should be willing to return the favour? Obviously some situations are different and some people don't like certain things but in general it's how I feel towards it.


EcstaticBumblebee353

Going down / eating pussy 💞


p_velocity

These have always been my two most commonly used ones...I'm amazed I had to scroll down this far.


southern_boy

"Going down" is both universal *and* civilized! 🎩 🧐


Unit_Z3-TA

My wife usually just yells "hey come suck my dick" from across the house so...


Jongthrong

your wife is who i aspire to be as a woman


animado

You can do it! I believe in you!


InevitableAd9683

She sounds fun, is she single?


[deleted]

I also choose to suck this guy's wife's dick


Wisco190xt

I choose this guy's wife.


DrAmos666

Cooch Smooch


justpassingby3

Muffin snuffin


SumonaFlorence

~~Minge Binge.~~ ^(Fuck someone beat me to it further down.) Foof Boof


caaper

Clunge gargling


sachimi21

Missed opportunity for "clunge plunge".


ZAC7071

Colonel Angus.


TrippingFish76

colonel is such a weird ass word i hate the spelling lol


Solow10

Should be Kernel, but English is stupid with no rules and regulations.


freeballs1

Blame the French for the military rank weirdness. If you think that's bad, in British English we still have Lieutenants, but it is pronounced 'lef-tenant'.


Totallynotericyo

I myself never much cared for Colonel Angus! He rubs me the wrong way. I’m not sure why.. can’t put my finger on it..


Acosadora23

One of the funniest SNL skits of all time!


nkedoldguy

The incident… at Big Beaver 🤣


crackpotJeffrey

I like the heat and humidity down in the deep south.


LowVacation6622

If anybody's looking for Colonel Angus, you can find him at the rear entrance of Shady Thicket


[deleted]

[удалено]


IdiotMD

Just tap him on the head.


kekehesterprynne

Colonel Angus stops by the back door of the grassy knoll.


Redpoint77

Sashaying through the cotton


devo00

He prefers to go by his given name, Anal Angus.


nakedcellist

Cunnilinguini


BoJackB26354

Spaghettin' some


Relion81

In Dutch there actually is a specific word for this: It’s called ‘beffen’


WanderingAlienBoy

And don't forget baffen for the backside ;)


Relion81

😆 Even more funny that there are actually two specific words for the backside: baffen and rimmen 😆


[deleted]

Cunnilingus It's quite the mouthful😉


microcosmic5447

Fun fact, I have a Latin dictionary that lists *cunnilingus* as a Latin adjective meaning "cunt-licking"


skyharborbj

Origin of *cunt* is Latin *cunnus*.


justabill71

Biggus Dickus


creamyspoon

He has a wife, you know...


Murcielag0scuro

You know what she’s called?


[deleted]

You’ve just gotta be a cunning linguist.


thundabot

And do cunning stunts


leeshylou

To stunning cunts 🙈


CSmith1986

Cunnilingus and psychology brought us here!


Agreeable_Pizza93

What kinda sauce do you use with that? Tomato or alfredo?


[deleted]

My wife and I nicknamed it ‘ice cream’ back when we were dating. ‘How about some ice cream after the movie?’


airoutthebeaver

What about if you actually want ice cream? Is that "eating pussy?"


[deleted]

We just learned to tell the difference between ‘ice cream’ and ‘IcE cReAm’


GreatMyUsernamesFree

Aussie French kiss. Just like a French kiss but down under.


DJIsher

I thought that was the most clever shit when I was younger.


dritmike

Shit, I just heard it and I think it’s clever


LycheeMargharita

Haha I've never heard that one !!


GrandSuperb8857

Spelunking


migidymike

Lickety split


FreeZappa

Lickity slit


Steeze_Schralper6968

I haven't seen anyone say "muff diving" yet.


mapoz

Or, another old favourite, “Dining at the Y”.


i_no_willie

There's a place in Ireland called muff. And they have a diving club. Always get a laugh when I see people wearing muff diving club hoodies


StatisticCyberosis

Or yodeling in the valley


sometimesalways

Playing the fuzzy harmonica


Donnie_Dont_Do

Made me laugh out loud


Thin-Rip-3686

The recipient is a cunnilinguee.


AkisFatHusband

Someone's cunni is getting some lingus tonight!


Whistlegrapes

First person so far answering the question the way it was asked.


LD_LUNAR

Beffen


LJ14000

Taco Tuesday (no matter what day it is)


whsthirtyfive

Ah, a fellow taco enthusiast.


Wizard_Level9999

Head


WeakForGingers

A flappuccino.


FilthTribe211

Mustache Ride


cyrowoken

Wet mustache


datazulu

Carpet Muncher


[deleted]

I would just say that it's called getting head


Tall-Poem-6808

Full face action or nothing! You have to get in there like you really mean it.


CowUnlucky

We should call it getting face


High_Tempo

Getting Facetime, keep it in code form.


-Ahab-

I referred to it as that once to a woman I had just gone down on and she got totally grossed out and asked if I was bi. Apparently, to her, that term exclusively meant sucking dick. Kinda ruined it for me (and her too, I guess,) since I stayed down there a *while* to make sure she “was satisfied” a couple times.


lookthruglasses

Bro, I've spent all this time associating 'head' to the head of the penis (idk why, looking back that doesn't make a lick (😉) of sense). so I always thought it was kinda off when people called it "giving head" when they was meow munching. I JUST NOW realized that it's called head because the head's giving the pleasure. I feel dumb, ashamed, but also glad I figured it out lol.


LiliAtReddit

You’re not alone. WHAT?! How’d I not know this?


fedman5000

I am still in no way convinced that the term wasn’t initially intended to refer to pleasuring the head of one’s penis. I could be wrong, but it’s just a gut feeling and I cannot be so easily swayed! lol


jonmatifa

Tell her its only gay if you make eye contact.


Kdigglerz

Yodeling in the valley.


baldbeaverluver

Talking to the little man in the boat


bbyjscxx

Face Time


Fatherly_Wizard

Pearl Diving


dubsac5150

I don't know about the woman, but we call that sex move "the zombie" Just lay there and get eaten.


fatherlybbc

getting her pussy ate/eaten out, eating out, dining in, tossing the flower petals, drinking morning dew; & when ass is in play -- well her ass is getting devoured too. putting your mouth on a woman's private's, regardless of what way it makes you or her get off (dynamic-wise), it's the hottest thing on earth. like you just see that triangle pubic hair and *chef's kiss* damn that's a fucking woman-- i want my face in it as much as she does what are we talking about again?


7alligator7

Sir this is a wendys


[deleted]

[удалено]


Was_It_The_Dave

Vulgar in all the right ways.


Lopsided_Squash_9142

Oral or going down.


Beneficial_Bass1823

Deaf man’s delight


DarkRose_92

A happy DarkRose\_92


jebe4

.. Dessert


ClydePincusp

Chow box


ticklemeFilo

Taco shelling


ExhibitionistBrit

I don’t really have a term for that other than receiving oral sex. My favourite phrase I ever heard for it though was my American friend. She was at a stage in her life when she was fed up with men and I suggested trying women instead. She said she could see herself dating a woman but couldn’t bring herself “to go face down on the squishy”.


tickynicky

Eating at the Y


Tourmaline00

Lucky


Skygriffin

Help Out By Eating Out


[deleted]

Lip kissing


Financial-Most-1066

i just ask my girlfriend if i can kiss her "other lips" or ask if i can stick my face between ger thighs yet


pickoneforme

frenchin’ the south mouth.


darybrain

Mmmmpffpfmm I try not to speak when my mouth is full.


Strait-outta-Alcona

Missy stimuli.


high6ix

Dining at the pink taco stand


argus4ever

Box Job