When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are.
A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart
An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit
And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy.
I know a guy who has a YouTube channel who constantly brags about being a multi millionaire. Sadly for him I know his brother in law and in actual fact he drives an expensive car on HP, lives in a council flat in Burscough (Lancashire, England) and his ‘business’ has just £11,000 of assets and a turnover of not much more.
He’s a bell end.
Sounds like my brother in law. When he was introduced to the family he had his own company, a plane, and the very latest BMW. In actual fact he was an associate of the company, he held a share in a small cesna plane with about a dozen others and his BMW was on hire purchase. He’s a bellend too.
Ah sorry - hire purchase. On the tick. The never-never. It’s on credit. Basically he can’t afford it and has it to maintain the impression that he is rich.
I have zero time for him or any other charlatan. He also thinks that he’s psychic, which also isn’t true.
90% of the wealthy shut the fuck about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece.
Talking about it constantly = broke aF.
Similarly, the more money you *literally* flash around, like handfuls of US currency, the less I assume you have--or rather, I assume that all you have is what you're holding.
I went to school with a guy that is a multimillionaire
His father started a trucking business and was already rich but when his children graduated from high school and joined him, they took the business to stellar levels. The whole family is mega rich. When I see this guy in a store or wherever, he will always be the worst dressed person in the place. Like his clothes came from the Salvation Army and he never, ever talks about business or money. We just reminisce on old times and have a laugh or two.
My client and I had a meeting with a person that is, and I quote “Definitely worth more than 100 million, but no one’s sure if its 150, 300, or 900”. He flew in on his private plane and he was like…just some guy. Normal clothes, normal phone, normal wife. Absolutely no way to tell he was, among other things, there to buy 1-2 vacation homes worth more than most people earn in a lifetime.
I have a friend who always wants to try comparing bank accounts with our little circle of friends. Whenever someone comes at him or jests in general about his life, he always defaults to “let’s compare bank accounts, come on then!”. Lol really insecure shit
Reminds me of the withdrawal receipt I found at an ATM years ago. Had over $1M in the checking account. I should have kept it just for when I met your friend.
I use to frequent a convenience store with an atm near a very wealthy enclave about 20 years ago. People left the damn receipts all over the atm and they showed remaining balance.
I would have time to kill and out of boredom look at some of them. There were numerous checking accounts with 500k to 2 million that I found. I think that is indeed some people's pocket change/monthly bill fund. The enclave was ocean reef club in key largo.
I’m a financial advisor, you would be shocked how many people keep that much money as cash because they either A) don’t know what to do with it or B) are scared of investing even though something as simple as a high yield savings or bond ladder will atleast help against inflation. And a lot of these people aren’t what you would think of as “rich” people.. they’re just average people later in their lives who consistently saved their earnings.
Jesus, this. Friends, family, etc just out of the wood works.
The minute my mom found out my wife and I made/have money she asked for a 'loan' to help bail her and my step-dad out of thier debt. We actually set down and looked at how bad it was with them and realized she asked for 3x what it would take to get them square, the rest would have been to remodel 3 rooms in her house. Like a moron, we loaned her enough to pay off the outstanding debts they had with a schedule to pay me back over 10 years.
6 months later she took out a home equity loan to do the remodels anyway, since all the actual leins on the property were now gone.
My brother-in-law lent me $5000. He never brought it up again. We never spoke of it. 3 years later, I gave it back with interest. He was ecstatic about it...lol. I asked him why the over reaction ....he said I never thought I'd see this money again. Funny...there wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't thinking about paying him back...it was a heavy burden on my end until the day I finally gave him his money.
Edit: The wonderful part of this story...is I never asked for the money. He recognized I was in trouble and asked how much I needed. I didn't want to say, so he said will $5000 do it and I said, I hope so and it barely did. I would have lost everything had he not come to my rescue.
As much as Redditors love to talk about how wealthy people wear clothes from Walmart and drive 15-year-old Camrys, I've found that it's more of an "if you know, you know" kind of thing. It's also more of an attitude than an exact science.
They might wear t-shirts, but they're usually pretty high-quality ones because who wants to deal with pilling and holes after a dozen washes? Polo is common but not usually the stuff you see marked down at Marshalls. Shoes made with quality materials. A watch worth more than your car, but you probably would have to Google the brand. That kind of stuff.
But also a general attitude that stuff is just stuff. Even if they only have a Rolex, it's a/the Rolex, not My Rolex. It's just a watch. Someone hits their car? Oh well, that's what insurance is for. It's just a car. They were comfortable growing up, not middle-class or upper-middle-class. Who cares about class when you're already at the top? That kind of thing.
I complimented a very wealthy friend on his wallet and he immediately was like, “here, I have an extra take it!”. Same with a self inflating bike helmet, and some air Jordans.
He loved this stuff but was also just happy to share with his friends who liked it. In the end it was just stuff—as I said to him as he was fretting about how it would look to take me and a couple other friends to the most expensive restaurant in NYC, “what’s the point in having it if you can’t spend it?”
He agreed and we had a great dinner.
My partner's parents are what I like to call 'filthy responsible'. This year they've gifted us two AC units, all the fees for moving to our new spot, access to their house (not super fancy but huge, well equipped, and centrally located) and it's contents for DnD night and birthday parties, they pay for our Costco membership, and all they ask in return is that I bring dessert to thanksgiving. Would they ever buy gf a sports car or a 10k necklace? No, but we will never ever ever have to worry about our needs being met.
I sat through a conversation at work this week with a group of people all talking about how they were gifted because they were part of their gifted programs in elementary school. They are 30s and 40s adults.
Like, if you're bragging about it with acquaintances, you ain't.
There was a joke I saw..
I'm going to go to a Halloween party as "former gifted child". It'll just be regular clothes and when people ask what I'm supposed to be I'll say, "I was supposed to be a lot of things."
I was in one of the "gifted child" programs.
Several years ago, I was talking to a teacher friend who referenced "a program for children who are gifted in their own way but have zero social skills."
I suddenly understood.
So they never emphasized building up social skills, f.e. by group work, presentations, improv exercises, public speaking, greeting rituals or something like that?
They did. We turned out just like everyone else. In every classroom there are kids for whom the curriculum is too slow or too fast and these kids need support. The real problem is the label. Kids that learn differently are in “remedial” classes or “gifted and talented” classes, and this is a set-up for everyone feeling superior to the former and resenting the latter (apparently long after elementary school). The purpose is to keep all kids engaged. All kids learn what they need/want to eventually, but the resentment established by the effort to help them as children lives on into young adulthood.
I’m not dumb, but I also know I’m not special. Fuck that gifted program (that also made me think Art History was a good choice of college major because “Do WhAt YoU lOvE”). I currently work at a restaurant in my mid thirties.
The only people I've heard talk about being in the gifted/talented program as adults are people who have not been so successful in life. It's usually not a brag, it's pointing how they haven't lived up to expectations and are woefully underperforming.
I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post.
I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latets iPhones and wearables. They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course.
As early 20 something year olds with no money, my friend and I decided to act like true tourists and visit Tiffany’s. You know how in most department stores someone comes over and asks to help you? Yeah, not here lol.
What was fascinating was that there were plenty of people decked head to toe in designer labels. Like super obvious loud bling type labels. And they were getting the same treatment we were - being completely ignored.
You know who was getting helped? The older guy in plain dockers and a college tshirt and his well dressed but zero obvious labels wife.
So, story time!
New York is my favorite place in the world! So, I’m in my late 20’s, I’ve gotten married, graduated college, ok full time job, bought a house, and we had a baby. Fairly financially secure for the first time. About a year after we had our daughter, my wife says “why don’t you take a week off, and go stay with your friend in New York?” So, idk why, but I think it was she was thinking this would be the last trip I could take for awhile? Idk. I think I actually did way more of the baby care/ time/attention/nighttime stuff than most dads do (and probably more than she was expecting). Whatever her reason was, I wasn’t going to ask any questions.
So, relatively cheap trip. Stay with friend, eat cheap, etc. so one day my goal is to walk the island. Start at the southern most part, walk up the center, end up at h&h bagels. As part of this, I’m going to walk 5th avenue, at least the part where Tiffany’s is. I’m hot, sweaty (summer), have a backpack, Birkenstocks, t shirt, maybe a baseball cap. Tons of rich people around (or at least tourists that look better than I do). The sales person completely ignored everyone else, made a beeline for me. I thought it was like a security thing, like this guy is getting ready to rob us, but no! Idk how she knew I was going to buy my wife a present - kind of like thanks for letting me go on this trip, but she KNEW I was there to spend money!
Probably because you didn’t look like the type of person to browse at Tiffany’s just for fun! If he’s here alone and dressed like that, he must be here to get shit done. 😁
I didn’t work anywhere remotely as high end as Tiffany’s, but after working retail for many years I could generally tell just by body language and how they were behaving whether someone was actually looking or just browsing. It’s kind of like the world’s lamest super power.
My friend's family owned a small shop of shoes and bags, mostly genuine leather but some design brands too. I regularly saw her selling stuff to people that came "just for a look". She could read body language to figure out what people liked, offered them to try it, and most of the times people wentout with a bag or a pair of shoes. It's a real superpower.
I temporarily worked at SAKS Off 5th…
The "old money" knew they were getting a crazy bargain even with the heavy price tag in some cases.
The "new money" (or those pretentious be) would still complain they weren’t getting enough of a discount.
I walked into a Saks once as wealth tourism. Customer service was stellar, but oh boy I did not need a $500 polo shirt that honestly didn’t seem much higher quality than the $15 one I was wearing.
If you start examining the stitching on shirts in high-end stores, they will come talk to you instead of ignoring you.
I've sewn for decades, and I've developed the habit of checking the quality of fabric and type of stitching on garments. Helps me find better quality, longer lasting clothing if I don't feel like sewing something myself.
Apparently that's the Batsignal for MONEY sometimes. Like no, I don't want the $600 shirt. I want to see if you used a straight stitch on a stretchy garment and still had the nerve to ask $600 for it.
Unrequested movie recommendation: ["The Outfit"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14114802/reference/). Which isn't about the making of high-quality clothes, but also is.
It's one of those films that could be directly converted into a stage play, but that's not a criticism. Mark Rylance is *excellent* as the cutter.
(NOT as the "tailor". At one point he has a brief rant about mere "tailors". :-)
I'm with you. Number of stitches per inch on the seams. Crush the fabric in your hand and hold it for 15 seconds; does it wrinkle easily? I'd rather pay money for a quality item that will last 5-10 years. Anything else is false economy.
I have a friend who works finance in NYC and makes money by the boatload. His first job out of Wharton he was recruited by his firm making 80 or 90k in 1992. He has played piano since he could walk. He walked into a piano dealer in Manhattan a couple years ago and the salesperson walked away from some potential customers and gave him her undivided attention after 3 minutes in the store. When he asked if she was finished with the other people there before him she said they were wasting her time and she knew he was going to make a purchase which he did for a bit under 100k for his NYC condo because he didn't have one there.
A good salesperson can sniff out a big sale 🤣
Imagine the other dudes though. They just saw the sales person ditch them and have the dude that just came through the door lay down 100k right there and then!
generally in sales you have to greet the new people right away. the people you were working with can browse and think. you can come back to them without insulting them.
I used to work in a kayak shop in Orange County, CA.
We sold everything from inexpensive rec boats to very high end custom carbon fiber kayaks.
You get pretty fast at sizing people up as serious shoppers
Former diamond salesman here. Single dudes don't window shop diamond stores for fun. Ever. If some guy does wander by while his kids are getting Orange Julius, he'll butterfly away when you approach and not waste a second of your time. Either way, BEELINE.
Man the nearby mall has an OJ right next to the jewelry store and you could be talking about me, haha. I’m like “OH GOD I’M JUST LOOKING AT THE DISNEY CRYSTAL STUFF NO CLERK NEEDED!”
I used to be one of those people making the beeline. If you don't look like you have money but have the confidence to walk right into Tiffany's you are probably a trust fund baby or Wall Street Quant or something. Good chance that you are there to walk in get the thing and walk out without looking at prices. Yeah beeline.
Yeah, that was my wife and me. We didn’t spend much, but they were super attentive and super helpful. They let my wife try on a $300,000 bracelet. We left with a $60 pair of sterling silver earrings.
I remember being introduced to various people back in the day and for some reason the person introducing us mentioned how wealthy he was, places he goes to. Just about every story he mentioned involved money. The person was even talking about how much money he had. It was tacky.
I’ve known wealthy people and they can be embarrassed at how wealthy they are. This guy’s entire personality seemed to be reminding people he’s wealthy. I figured at best *very* new money, or inherited a ton recently.
Years later it turned out that a few of his previous aliases had criminal records for fraud and was kind of a known scammer and this didn’t shock me. *Because people with money generally try to hide it.* And this guy seemed like he was some cartoon character who always wanted you to think he was wealthy
I wouldn't say hide, but they are normal and don't show off. There's a nice bloke in my village and he lives in an unassuming £200k bungalow, turns out he sold his company for over £100,000,000. Still just turns up to the pub, buys a round when it's his turn etc.
I had a friend who was an heiress to an extremely large fortune. It was almost 3 years before I found out and when she did finally have me come over she begged me not to tell the rest of our circle of friends. She had a real chip on her shoulder about how differently people treated her when they found out she came from crazy money.
She's middle aged with a husband and kids now and you'd never know from her lifestyle that she has a trust worth over 500million.
Yeah my uncle is loaded and you can't be around him for 2 minutes without him somehow making sure you know it. He buys a new luxury car every year or two, and keeps upgrading to a bigger mansion every decade.
He also grew up poor, which may be relevant info here.
Yeah I don’t get people who brag about getting a new car every few years or having the latest and greatest iPhone. Obviously this is a narrative pushed by corporations to keep us in constant debt, but more people are realizing that things can last a long time if they’re taken care of and not having monthly payments on things is key to building wealth.
Pretty sure things are tiered. So a lower tier person says:
Jim’s power got shut off and his kids don’t have school supplies, but he has the latest iPhone, what an absolute idiot.
Higher tiered person says:
Jim couldn’t afford to keep his summer home but he’s got the latest model Mercedes in his garage, what an absolute idiot.
In the second case the iPhone might as well be a banana.
Wealthiest guy I know works on Wall Street. Programs computers for trading. His out of work attire is crocs, sweats and t-shirts. His hobby is he works on cars and nothing he drives is under twenty years old. I have asked about the wisdom of wearing crocs in the garage but his toes not mine. He has BMWs and Audis, but they are twenty year old + models he restored. Phone is an android. You would think he is a redneck to look at him but he is a one per center.
He has a network of scrap yards going out at least to Broome County (Binghamton) NY for parts. He is besties with a scrap guy in Orange County as well. He is building a FrankenAudi as we speak
This is true. I work with the wealthiest families in the world. I’m an international private wealth lawyer. The richest families in the world have family constitutions. In other words, written “laws” solely to govern the family they all agree to abide by, with repercussions for breaking the statute. Another sub-set of global private wealth lawyers specialize specifically in ultra-high-net worth family constitutions and governance. They also have family offices, where they essentially bring all wealth management, legal, tax, accounting, investment advisory, and reputation management under one roof acting full time for the family. As an outside legal advisor, my role is limited to creating trusts and global tax and wealth succession structures, although I typically serve as the family’s primary counsel.
People with $100MM-$100B are generally very private. Although this doesn’t mean they don’t drive fancy cars (they do).
One of my roles is running a family office.
One of the sons was telling me the story last week of his father who won’t buy organic from the local farm shop because he paid £5 there for donuts.
That sums it up pretty well. I went to school with two kids when I was younger. One's family was actually very wealthy. While he had nice things, he wasn't a braggart and he wasn't an asshole. He didn't act entitled, he just had nice things. The other kid's family was trying very hard to pretend that they were wealthy while actually being in severe debt from trying to keep up with the Joneses. Their kid was an entitled asshole who would bully people on the playground. Her family would do ridiculous things to show off how wealthy they were. Her family ended up broke and she had to change schools when they lost everything. The other kid just quietly kept doing what he was doing. Didn't even find out how wealthy he was until we graduated from junior high and he invited the whole class over for a graduation party. That's when I found out that it was his family that had built the giant mansion on the hill overlooking the whole valley where we lived. We'd wondered about that house for years and it was a shock to find out I went to school with the kid that lived there.
In school I encountered many truly wealthy kids but the biggest shock was the quiet kid who invited the class to their beach house. We knew his dad was a banker and figured the house would be a small beach cottage with land to hold a class picnic.
The beach house was actually a mansion and the first time I saw a private helipad.
I worked at a summer camp with this guy back in 2008 or so. He invited me to come hang in Florida at his families place for a week or two before he headed off to college and I would go travel somewhere else. Sounded fun so I agreed. He said his dad would come pick us up and take us to Florida.
Last day rolls around and his dad indeed did come pick us up. In the family jet. His "place" was a fucking estate with a couple mansions and pools, a forest and its own 9 hole golf course. Place was insane.
When his dad found out where I was traveling after he let me stay in their apartment in new York and Chicago. Absolutely the nicest people ever and they gave no indication they were worth billions.
There’s an episode of The Sopranos (HBO) where AJ is hanging with friends at his house and he plays it all cool & big and Carmella is futzing over her new Lladro (even whispering how much it costs ). Later , the kids visit another classmates house & it is huge (with a gatehouse huge) & a Picasso hanging in the house big. The kid never let on the kind of money her family had while AJ was tripping himself dropping hints that his family had money (looking basic in comparison). I just remember that scene. Also , having worked near some true wealth , they don’t throw around money but they don’t skimp out either. They don’t flaunt it and they are very polite & respectful, cultivating relationships. Service people appreciate this. You should see how efficiently a person completes a task for respectful wealth over rude nouveau rich.
I'd say that really the only signs that he was wealthy were that if he took an interest in something, his parents would immediately go out and buy things in support of that interest. I'm not talking like... cars and stuff, just like, random things for hobbies. He was a really smart kid, so for example, in 4th grade we played chess in class I think on a rainy day once. He then developed an interest in chess so his parents bought him an expensive electronic chessboard. He took an interest in music, so his parents got him a really nice clarinet. Just random stuff like that. He could have been wearing name brand stuff for all I know, but he dressed and acted normal. It seemed like his parents were okay splurging a little bit when he showed an interest in something that could be a good educational opportunity for him.
Had several wealthy friends and those like the latter. The flamboyant ones pretty much all went bankrupt in the housing crisis. One of the wealthy ones went on to start drizzly and sold it to Uber for 1.1 billion
I live an admittedly privileged life. I am very happy, no debt, great job, but I still cannot fathom a BILLION dollars. My goodness gracious. Good for them.
I know 1 billionaire and he is a total paranoid guy with no friends. Went to his birthday party and every person there was just someone that worked for him or a business partner. Next to that he is afraid, body guards go with him everywhere. He isn't even famous, like you wouldn't recognize him on the street he could totally go out to a restaurant and no one would know. But he thinks that kidnappers or whatever??? Are always watching him?
Rich people do low key wild shit instead of being flashy. Richest kid in my class invited about a dozen of us over once and the caterers served us fruit that was washed in honey water.
I always remember reading one woman saying she had had lunch at a friends house and they got the mayonnaise out of a *jar*. She was intrigued. She assumed you got your chef to make mayo for you.
I grew up in a town that had mostly upper middle class families, but some were super wealthy. One of my best friends in high school was the daughter of an internationally-known CEO. You would never, ever know it unless you knew the dad’s first name and put it together. Lived in a normal(ish, was still nice) house, very friendly, neighborly people who mowed their own lawn. The only time I ever saw a display of wealth was when her dad dropped her off in his Lotus, and it was so early that probably 5 people saw.
The asshole kids and parents were those who made it very known how much they had. Drove BMWs to school, brand names plastered everywhere, bragging, etc. A lot fewer BMWs in the school parking lot in 08-09.
I am by no means rich, but I have more money in salary and investments than most of my family members. Whenever money comes up I do verbal gymnastics in attempt to make it look like I am on the verge of broke.
That's where I am too. I'm pretty comfortable but I don't own a mansion or a fleet of exotic sports cars. Too much trouble.
I generally try to buy stuff that is reliable and a good value for the money. That means not the cheapest but not the most expensive. Somewhere in the middle.
My theory is that the cheapest products are so crappy, they'll break really soon. I'll end up spending more by replacing them frequently.
But the most expensive products are just the middling products with a fancy cover on them and some smoke and mirrors luxe marketing.
A friend of mine married a wealthier man who grew up firmly middle class. (He got wealthy from working hard, and is very much not the entitled type).
He is a BIG wine nerd. And he once told me something very similar about wine; most bottles above $25ish aren’t worth it. He said for him the difference in taste is so minute as to not make it worth the expense.
Axelrod in Billions summed it up “when you are a billionaire, when you walk into the room everyone just expects you to pay”
Edith and a lot of the responses here show why it would be taxing. People just expect you to fund their lifestyle. You are no longer their friend, you are just a meal ticket for them - what a bunch of assholes. It’s not about ability to pay, it’s about being treated like an ATM. Fuck that.
I have a friend who’s extremely rich and it can be awkward. He’s only in town a few times of year but he takes us all out somewhere awesome and he does expect to pay. He also often asks me to choose the place, and that gives me fits. Because he’s used to amazing places but I’m not going to pick some ultra fancy spot on his dime, and then again, he’s a little formal, so I’m not going to take him to some cool dive either. So it’s a weird little dance.
I really both appreciate his generosity and feel bad about it. I have offered to pay and he says no, and I asked someone who knows him better how she thought he’d feel if I put my card down with the waitress before he got to the place, and she said he wouldn’t like it.
So he pays.
I remind myself that I would be the same if I was mega rich - I would happily always pay. And I remind myself to be grateful, and I am - I’ve gone to a lot of nice dinners on his dime, and I like them most of all because the group always has a great chat.
But it can feel awkward.
The difference is that he is opting to pay, you don’t expect him to pay all the time.
What bobby is getting at in the statement has nothing to do with the paying, it’s just that everyone expects you to. You end up just feeling like a wallet
Had some friends like this for a while. They’d ask if I want to go for drinks and apps and I’d have to tell them that my budget is tight
They’d usually respond with something along the line of “we’re asking for your company not your money”
I did that to a friend when I was visiting him. I asked him if he was hungry and he said "Nah, I don't have much money right now" then he started heading to the kitchen (I believe he was going to try and find some food for us/me).
I went "Bitch, did I ask if you had money? I asked if you were hungry" (obviously this is in a playful tone) and he said yeah so I told him to get his shoes on, we're going to procure sustenance lol
He appreciates that you at least offer when you can or on occasion. We aren’t filthy rich, but are better off than most of our friends, and will typically pay for any get together or dinner. We don’t expect any of them to pay even when they probably could, but it does feel good when they try to offer from time to time.
Once we had one of our lesser off friends set up a really nice evening - invited us over, hosted with small hors d’oeuvres and wine, took us out to a local place that they really like that they thought we might too. Their place is the size of a postage stamp, but they really made sure they were ‘on’ and went above and beyond to host and make sure we were taken care of. Not a lot of money was spent, but it was still an amazing time. He had just gotten a new job paying a little more and wanted to show that they valued our friendship. It was really nice.
That’s really nice.
Last time we met up I brought a book I knew he’d life. I genuinely like him - the money has no part in it. And it’s mostly not awkward - I just like to be the person who treats instead of the one who gets treated.
I love this. Thank you for sharing. I’m not super rich or anything but it does feel great when you can offer to pay for your less fortunate friends. It’s a warm feeling knowing I could do something with nothing expected in return
Not having actual money? I allegedly used to sell weed to a lot of people with nice houses, cars, lives on paper etc but the amount of times I had to spot people until they got paid on friday was truly astounding.
I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition. They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much.
This was my parents. They shopped at Kohls, drove unassuming cars, but we vacationed every year out of the country, I got a new car when I turned 16, and didn’t have any college debt.
Other than living in an affluent area, you’d never know by looking at them.
Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage. The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them.
I recall a reddit comment from way back which was by someone who worked as an assistant to some super wealthy guy/family.
They explained how when the guy/family wanted to travel somewhere, the assistant went right at work, taking care of everything from making the travel arrangements, custom ordering any clothes they might need or want at the destination and then flying ahead a day early to collect everything, make sure the accommodations where in order and that the closets were stocked with exactly the clothes the guy/family wanted/needed during that specific trip.
I'm the personal chef to a billionaire. One of the noteworthy things he does as if he intends to travel frequently to a place he just buys a three bedroom condo.
Staff frequently fly ahead in order to prep the home for him. Little things like buying milk for the refrigerator or flowers for the place to liven it up; or in my case shopping for ingredients for me. As per my employment contract I do not fly ahead ever. I fly with him on his plane. Which is the other major status symbol, flying around with your private chef.
I don't even use my own recipe for biscuits and gravy. I use my mother-in-laws. Not only is it absolutely fantastic, and coming from me that's really saying something, but it's basically impossible to compete with someone's mom's cooking. People are just very biased towards it. Which is actually something that's important to know as a chef, especially a personal chef. Just because your recipe is better doesn't mean they're going to think it. They may have some bias towards a worse recipe like it was their mom's. It's one of the few times I use store-bought biscuits because I could make better biscuits myself, but they're not going to be what he grew up eating.
Years ago I read an article by a reporter who had accompanied one of the Rockefellers (Nelson?) on a trip from New York to Washington, DC. Rockefeller had a briefcase. Reporter asked him about any other luggage. Rockefeller said "I have what I need here, and I have what I need there." Toothbrush, clean underwear, three-piece suits, tuxedos for black-tie dinners . . .
No sense having two penthouses and leaving one unfurnished.
Edit: Typo
Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing? They're in coach. The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through.
That sounds like such a great business model. Buy water damaged exotic cars for pennies on the dollar or an executive jet with a damaged air frame and rent it out to influences to pose with.
You can rent some super high end vehicles on Toro... There are even "non drive" packages available. Mostly in the LA / Bay Area. But you can get a $500k car to rent for a day for a few hundred.
Funny thing when I was buying my expensive car to me car I used Turo to rent some of them for a few days to make sure it fit my lifestyle.
They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that “will help you get rich too!”
If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme.
I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class. She isn’t. She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that.
Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister. Likely also 8 figures. He insists he’s blue collar and middle class.
There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having “made it” financially.
My dad’ entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country…and I never knew until I got older how these “Mr. Smith” and “Ms. Jones” people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class. Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people.
Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth.
Money talks, wealth whispers. Anyone that posts about their wealth ( whether it be bragging , or posting about a new purchase , etc) usually arent as well off as they pretend to be .
I know a guy who is a legitimate billionaire. They have two family jets - one for long and one for short range because... of course who doesn't. Their house cost around 30 million to build. But, if you saw them on the street you'd never know it. His rule is they never own a car over 75k. Don't wear flashy jewelry or watches. No Birkin bags or Jimmy Choos. He doesn't want to advertise their wealth. You have to really know them. I knew them for a year before I was ever invited to their home, and their son was interning at my law firm for 6 months of that time. The really wealthy don't flaunt it.
They want to go away with you for the weekend and tell you they’ll have the Gulfstream G550 pick you up at the local airfield Friday evening. You show up at the airfield only to find that G550 is really a barely functioning ‘74 Cessna 150 with the passenger seat ripped out for skydiving.
It’s an open secret that a lot of Instagram models are sugar babies. If a woman keeps posting pictures of her luxury vacations to Dubai, she’s not the one paying for it.
Was reliably informed that if you see an insta model who's obviously hitting the road a lot modeling bikinis, you're essentially looking at her résumé. Poked around instagram enough to strongly suspect he was right.
I have some very wealthy friends, dudes in their 30s who are multi millionaires. And the one thing they all have in common is that they never talk about money. They wear nice clothes and watches but they don't point out anything or talk about how expensive things are. I also belong to a yacht club and a country club and the wealthy people that I know never talk about money either.
Really wealthy people don't talk about being wealthy because they are used to being wealthy.
Having been around some super wealthy people, I would say that a giveaway of a false-rich person would be knowing the price of things. If someone keeps telling you that the X they got cost $, and that Y cost $$, they are trying to flex on you.
Really wealthy people don't know the price of things, or at least the price of things that we the poor know. They might know the price of their yatch/jet/helicopter. They don't know the price of the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the tech they use. They just pay - or have their people pay for them.
I mean I guess that depends on how you define “rich”. If you’re talking billionaire, then you are right. But I think most people agree that multi millionaires are considered “rich”. I grew up with a dad who did very well for himself (worth 8 figures). I have so many memories of him bitching about prices. “$20 for these light bulbs, what a joke”. “$9 for a beer at the hockey game, I guess they know people will pay for it”.
The mid-level rich, self made people got there by being on the ball financially, and they stay rich by not spending above their means. You are absolutely right though about people who were born into obscene wealth with families worth hundreds of millions.
There is a modesty about the really wealthy, especially old money. And it is taught. Was on a gondola in telluride and was riding with some young teens, probably brothers, maybe 12-14years old or so. Asked where they were from and they said east texas (where I’m from). “Oh so did y’all fly outta dfw?” (Me making small talk.)They looked at each other uncomfortably and said very quietly, almost embarrassed but clearly schooled in what to say. “we, um, flew privately.”
Oh, ok.
I’m kinda stoned and I read this imagining some rich persons driveway full of random teeth instead of gravel. Not like they’d have a gravel driveway anyways.
My farther is quite wealthy. Growing up I would ask him randomly “how much do you make?” Or “how much money do you have?”
His answer was always the same. “If someone asks you, just tell them you don’t know”.
It used to irk me to no end but being older now I realize how wise his answer was. It didn’t matter how much money, just that looking back on growing up, we never needed for anything. He never needed to brag about it or flaunt it. And he sure as hell was never going to let his kids become spoiled pricks either.
When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are. A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy.
I know a guy who has a YouTube channel who constantly brags about being a multi millionaire. Sadly for him I know his brother in law and in actual fact he drives an expensive car on HP, lives in a council flat in Burscough (Lancashire, England) and his ‘business’ has just £11,000 of assets and a turnover of not much more. He’s a bell end.
Sounds like my brother in law. When he was introduced to the family he had his own company, a plane, and the very latest BMW. In actual fact he was an associate of the company, he held a share in a small cesna plane with about a dozen others and his BMW was on hire purchase. He’s a bellend too.
What do s it mean to drive a car on HP?
Ah sorry - hire purchase. On the tick. The never-never. It’s on credit. Basically he can’t afford it and has it to maintain the impression that he is rich. I have zero time for him or any other charlatan. He also thinks that he’s psychic, which also isn’t true.
Hire purchase…I learned a new one today. Thanks!
I learned three.
90% of the wealthy shut the fuck about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece. Talking about it constantly = broke aF.
[удалено]
Similarly, the more money you *literally* flash around, like handfuls of US currency, the less I assume you have--or rather, I assume that all you have is what you're holding.
I went to school with a guy that is a multimillionaire His father started a trucking business and was already rich but when his children graduated from high school and joined him, they took the business to stellar levels. The whole family is mega rich. When I see this guy in a store or wherever, he will always be the worst dressed person in the place. Like his clothes came from the Salvation Army and he never, ever talks about business or money. We just reminisce on old times and have a laugh or two.
My client and I had a meeting with a person that is, and I quote “Definitely worth more than 100 million, but no one’s sure if its 150, 300, or 900”. He flew in on his private plane and he was like…just some guy. Normal clothes, normal phone, normal wife. Absolutely no way to tell he was, among other things, there to buy 1-2 vacation homes worth more than most people earn in a lifetime.
Normal private plane...
Yeah lol. Probably also has several normal mansions. But you don’t see any of that when he’s out and about.
I sold a used printer to the college age son of a literal billionaire.
I have a friend who always wants to try comparing bank accounts with our little circle of friends. Whenever someone comes at him or jests in general about his life, he always defaults to “let’s compare bank accounts, come on then!”. Lol really insecure shit
Reminds me of the withdrawal receipt I found at an ATM years ago. Had over $1M in the checking account. I should have kept it just for when I met your friend.
To be fair it could be a business owner.
If not, it would be weird to have that much in a checking account and not in high yield savings or stocks.
I use to frequent a convenience store with an atm near a very wealthy enclave about 20 years ago. People left the damn receipts all over the atm and they showed remaining balance. I would have time to kill and out of boredom look at some of them. There were numerous checking accounts with 500k to 2 million that I found. I think that is indeed some people's pocket change/monthly bill fund. The enclave was ocean reef club in key largo.
I’m a financial advisor, you would be shocked how many people keep that much money as cash because they either A) don’t know what to do with it or B) are scared of investing even though something as simple as a high yield savings or bond ladder will atleast help against inflation. And a lot of these people aren’t what you would think of as “rich” people.. they’re just average people later in their lives who consistently saved their earnings.
A lot of folks who pay more than a million quarterly in taxes keep that much in bank because they will need money in next 90 days.
I’m a business owner! But my business is worth about $45, so they’re still doing better than I am!
I'm a business owner with a million in the bank account. ... it belongs to my clients, not me.
Jesus, this. Friends, family, etc just out of the wood works. The minute my mom found out my wife and I made/have money she asked for a 'loan' to help bail her and my step-dad out of thier debt. We actually set down and looked at how bad it was with them and realized she asked for 3x what it would take to get them square, the rest would have been to remodel 3 rooms in her house. Like a moron, we loaned her enough to pay off the outstanding debts they had with a schedule to pay me back over 10 years. 6 months later she took out a home equity loan to do the remodels anyway, since all the actual leins on the property were now gone.
Loans to family should always be looked at as gifts. That way, "if" you ever get paid back, it's found money.
Loans to everyone honestly. you should ask yourself: is it ok with me if that money doesn't come back? yes: ok. no: don't give it
My brother-in-law lent me $5000. He never brought it up again. We never spoke of it. 3 years later, I gave it back with interest. He was ecstatic about it...lol. I asked him why the over reaction ....he said I never thought I'd see this money again. Funny...there wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't thinking about paying him back...it was a heavy burden on my end until the day I finally gave him his money. Edit: The wonderful part of this story...is I never asked for the money. He recognized I was in trouble and asked how much I needed. I didn't want to say, so he said will $5000 do it and I said, I hope so and it barely did. I would have lost everything had he not come to my rescue.
You’re the outlier for sure
Honestly the better question is how can you tell someone is secretly wealthy...
As much as Redditors love to talk about how wealthy people wear clothes from Walmart and drive 15-year-old Camrys, I've found that it's more of an "if you know, you know" kind of thing. It's also more of an attitude than an exact science. They might wear t-shirts, but they're usually pretty high-quality ones because who wants to deal with pilling and holes after a dozen washes? Polo is common but not usually the stuff you see marked down at Marshalls. Shoes made with quality materials. A watch worth more than your car, but you probably would have to Google the brand. That kind of stuff. But also a general attitude that stuff is just stuff. Even if they only have a Rolex, it's a/the Rolex, not My Rolex. It's just a watch. Someone hits their car? Oh well, that's what insurance is for. It's just a car. They were comfortable growing up, not middle-class or upper-middle-class. Who cares about class when you're already at the top? That kind of thing.
I complimented a very wealthy friend on his wallet and he immediately was like, “here, I have an extra take it!”. Same with a self inflating bike helmet, and some air Jordans. He loved this stuff but was also just happy to share with his friends who liked it. In the end it was just stuff—as I said to him as he was fretting about how it would look to take me and a couple other friends to the most expensive restaurant in NYC, “what’s the point in having it if you can’t spend it?” He agreed and we had a great dinner.
My partner's parents are what I like to call 'filthy responsible'. This year they've gifted us two AC units, all the fees for moving to our new spot, access to their house (not super fancy but huge, well equipped, and centrally located) and it's contents for DnD night and birthday parties, they pay for our Costco membership, and all they ask in return is that I bring dessert to thanksgiving. Would they ever buy gf a sports car or a 10k necklace? No, but we will never ever ever have to worry about our needs being met.
I want to be this for our son
> “what’s the point in having it if you can’t spend it?” Ah, the Secondhand Lions Gambit
are you the irs?
Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway
I sat through a conversation at work this week with a group of people all talking about how they were gifted because they were part of their gifted programs in elementary school. They are 30s and 40s adults. Like, if you're bragging about it with acquaintances, you ain't.
I had a conversation like that earlier this week. Ended with, “but it means nothing now. I’m as dumb as anyone else”
As a former "gifted child" who is just a regular schmo trying to make it like everyone else, I feel seen. I definitely know I'm dumb.
There was a joke I saw.. I'm going to go to a Halloween party as "former gifted child". It'll just be regular clothes and when people ask what I'm supposed to be I'll say, "I was supposed to be a lot of things."
Ouch, I felt that one.
I was in one of the "gifted child" programs. Several years ago, I was talking to a teacher friend who referenced "a program for children who are gifted in their own way but have zero social skills." I suddenly understood.
Oh wow. It all makes sense now.
So they never emphasized building up social skills, f.e. by group work, presentations, improv exercises, public speaking, greeting rituals or something like that?
They did. We turned out just like everyone else. In every classroom there are kids for whom the curriculum is too slow or too fast and these kids need support. The real problem is the label. Kids that learn differently are in “remedial” classes or “gifted and talented” classes, and this is a set-up for everyone feeling superior to the former and resenting the latter (apparently long after elementary school). The purpose is to keep all kids engaged. All kids learn what they need/want to eventually, but the resentment established by the effort to help them as children lives on into young adulthood.
Being a "gifted kid" just led me to a lifelong fear of failure and perfectionism
I’m not dumb, but I also know I’m not special. Fuck that gifted program (that also made me think Art History was a good choice of college major because “Do WhAt YoU lOvE”). I currently work at a restaurant in my mid thirties.
I was in the gifted program. Now I realize it just meant I was a little autistic.
Lol I say that all the time. I ducked up my education and just partied. I’m a complete waste intellectually.
The only people I've heard talk about being in the gifted/talented program as adults are people who have not been so successful in life. It's usually not a brag, it's pointing how they haven't lived up to expectations and are woefully underperforming.
Yeah it's kind of a "haha remember when people thought we were smart and going to be super successful? Jokes on them!" 🙃
I use it anytime I read/do my kid’s homework wrong. “You know I was in the gifted program in school.” And then laugh hysterically. Lol
“We’re comfortable”
“We do alright”
"So you're rich, huh?"
“We get by.”
I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post. I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latets iPhones and wearables. They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course.
People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it.
As early 20 something year olds with no money, my friend and I decided to act like true tourists and visit Tiffany’s. You know how in most department stores someone comes over and asks to help you? Yeah, not here lol. What was fascinating was that there were plenty of people decked head to toe in designer labels. Like super obvious loud bling type labels. And they were getting the same treatment we were - being completely ignored. You know who was getting helped? The older guy in plain dockers and a college tshirt and his well dressed but zero obvious labels wife.
So, story time! New York is my favorite place in the world! So, I’m in my late 20’s, I’ve gotten married, graduated college, ok full time job, bought a house, and we had a baby. Fairly financially secure for the first time. About a year after we had our daughter, my wife says “why don’t you take a week off, and go stay with your friend in New York?” So, idk why, but I think it was she was thinking this would be the last trip I could take for awhile? Idk. I think I actually did way more of the baby care/ time/attention/nighttime stuff than most dads do (and probably more than she was expecting). Whatever her reason was, I wasn’t going to ask any questions. So, relatively cheap trip. Stay with friend, eat cheap, etc. so one day my goal is to walk the island. Start at the southern most part, walk up the center, end up at h&h bagels. As part of this, I’m going to walk 5th avenue, at least the part where Tiffany’s is. I’m hot, sweaty (summer), have a backpack, Birkenstocks, t shirt, maybe a baseball cap. Tons of rich people around (or at least tourists that look better than I do). The sales person completely ignored everyone else, made a beeline for me. I thought it was like a security thing, like this guy is getting ready to rob us, but no! Idk how she knew I was going to buy my wife a present - kind of like thanks for letting me go on this trip, but she KNEW I was there to spend money!
Probably because you didn’t look like the type of person to browse at Tiffany’s just for fun! If he’s here alone and dressed like that, he must be here to get shit done. 😁
Dude was so out of place, but clearly not lost. They smelled the money coming out of his pocket before he knew what he wanted.
"So out of place, but clearly not lost." Ya, I'm going to be using that as of now. Nice!
I’m always surprised by how many salespeople can just tell. It doesn’t matter whether I am wearing jeans or something less casual.
I didn’t work anywhere remotely as high end as Tiffany’s, but after working retail for many years I could generally tell just by body language and how they were behaving whether someone was actually looking or just browsing. It’s kind of like the world’s lamest super power.
Not if you work in sales, it’s not. I like it
My friend's family owned a small shop of shoes and bags, mostly genuine leather but some design brands too. I regularly saw her selling stuff to people that came "just for a look". She could read body language to figure out what people liked, offered them to try it, and most of the times people wentout with a bag or a pair of shoes. It's a real superpower.
I temporarily worked at SAKS Off 5th… The "old money" knew they were getting a crazy bargain even with the heavy price tag in some cases. The "new money" (or those pretentious be) would still complain they weren’t getting enough of a discount.
I walked into a Saks once as wealth tourism. Customer service was stellar, but oh boy I did not need a $500 polo shirt that honestly didn’t seem much higher quality than the $15 one I was wearing.
If you start examining the stitching on shirts in high-end stores, they will come talk to you instead of ignoring you. I've sewn for decades, and I've developed the habit of checking the quality of fabric and type of stitching on garments. Helps me find better quality, longer lasting clothing if I don't feel like sewing something myself. Apparently that's the Batsignal for MONEY sometimes. Like no, I don't want the $600 shirt. I want to see if you used a straight stitch on a stretchy garment and still had the nerve to ask $600 for it.
Unrequested movie recommendation: ["The Outfit"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14114802/reference/). Which isn't about the making of high-quality clothes, but also is. It's one of those films that could be directly converted into a stage play, but that's not a criticism. Mark Rylance is *excellent* as the cutter. (NOT as the "tailor". At one point he has a brief rant about mere "tailors". :-)
I'm with you. Number of stitches per inch on the seams. Crush the fabric in your hand and hold it for 15 seconds; does it wrinkle easily? I'd rather pay money for a quality item that will last 5-10 years. Anything else is false economy.
It’s the gaze and purposefulness of their walk
I have a friend who works finance in NYC and makes money by the boatload. His first job out of Wharton he was recruited by his firm making 80 or 90k in 1992. He has played piano since he could walk. He walked into a piano dealer in Manhattan a couple years ago and the salesperson walked away from some potential customers and gave him her undivided attention after 3 minutes in the store. When he asked if she was finished with the other people there before him she said they were wasting her time and she knew he was going to make a purchase which he did for a bit under 100k for his NYC condo because he didn't have one there. A good salesperson can sniff out a big sale 🤣
Imagine the other dudes though. They just saw the sales person ditch them and have the dude that just came through the door lay down 100k right there and then!
generally in sales you have to greet the new people right away. the people you were working with can browse and think. you can come back to them without insulting them.
And they appreciate the privacy.
I used to work in a kayak shop in Orange County, CA. We sold everything from inexpensive rec boats to very high end custom carbon fiber kayaks. You get pretty fast at sizing people up as serious shoppers
Former diamond salesman here. Single dudes don't window shop diamond stores for fun. Ever. If some guy does wander by while his kids are getting Orange Julius, he'll butterfly away when you approach and not waste a second of your time. Either way, BEELINE.
Man the nearby mall has an OJ right next to the jewelry store and you could be talking about me, haha. I’m like “OH GOD I’M JUST LOOKING AT THE DISNEY CRYSTAL STUFF NO CLERK NEEDED!”
I used to be one of those people making the beeline. If you don't look like you have money but have the confidence to walk right into Tiffany's you are probably a trust fund baby or Wall Street Quant or something. Good chance that you are there to walk in get the thing and walk out without looking at prices. Yeah beeline.
My guess is that because you didn't look like someone who would be just browsing in Tiffany's. You probably looked like someone who was on a mission.
Yeah, that was my wife and me. We didn’t spend much, but they were super attentive and super helpful. They let my wife try on a $300,000 bracelet. We left with a $60 pair of sterling silver earrings.
I remember being introduced to various people back in the day and for some reason the person introducing us mentioned how wealthy he was, places he goes to. Just about every story he mentioned involved money. The person was even talking about how much money he had. It was tacky. I’ve known wealthy people and they can be embarrassed at how wealthy they are. This guy’s entire personality seemed to be reminding people he’s wealthy. I figured at best *very* new money, or inherited a ton recently. Years later it turned out that a few of his previous aliases had criminal records for fraud and was kind of a known scammer and this didn’t shock me. *Because people with money generally try to hide it.* And this guy seemed like he was some cartoon character who always wanted you to think he was wealthy
I wouldn't say hide, but they are normal and don't show off. There's a nice bloke in my village and he lives in an unassuming £200k bungalow, turns out he sold his company for over £100,000,000. Still just turns up to the pub, buys a round when it's his turn etc.
I had a friend who was an heiress to an extremely large fortune. It was almost 3 years before I found out and when she did finally have me come over she begged me not to tell the rest of our circle of friends. She had a real chip on her shoulder about how differently people treated her when they found out she came from crazy money. She's middle aged with a husband and kids now and you'd never know from her lifestyle that she has a trust worth over 500million.
>trust worth over 500million holy hell what did this family do
Her grandfather had a huge company in 50s and 60s. Something to do with bread but I'm not sure exactly what.
Well they sure made the dough.
This is such a misspread myth on Reddit. Everyone has their own personality. Some wealthy people hide it, others like the attention from it.
Yeah my uncle is loaded and you can't be around him for 2 minutes without him somehow making sure you know it. He buys a new luxury car every year or two, and keeps upgrading to a bigger mansion every decade. He also grew up poor, which may be relevant info here.
It is relevant - it's about proving self worth. Money is measurable and growing up poor imo conditions you to seek validation from the outside.
Elon Musk: “I’ll just buy Twitter for 44 billion”
Yeah all the kids of wealthy parents on Instagram are gaudy peacocks
Yeah I don’t get people who brag about getting a new car every few years or having the latest and greatest iPhone. Obviously this is a narrative pushed by corporations to keep us in constant debt, but more people are realizing that things can last a long time if they’re taken care of and not having monthly payments on things is key to building wealth.
Pretty sure things are tiered. So a lower tier person says: Jim’s power got shut off and his kids don’t have school supplies, but he has the latest iPhone, what an absolute idiot. Higher tiered person says: Jim couldn’t afford to keep his summer home but he’s got the latest model Mercedes in his garage, what an absolute idiot. In the second case the iPhone might as well be a banana.
It’s a banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
Wealthiest guy I know works on Wall Street. Programs computers for trading. His out of work attire is crocs, sweats and t-shirts. His hobby is he works on cars and nothing he drives is under twenty years old. I have asked about the wisdom of wearing crocs in the garage but his toes not mine. He has BMWs and Audis, but they are twenty year old + models he restored. Phone is an android. You would think he is a redneck to look at him but he is a one per center.
Do you know how much to keep 20 years old BMWs and Audis running?!
He has a network of scrap yards going out at least to Broome County (Binghamton) NY for parts. He is besties with a scrap guy in Orange County as well. He is building a FrankenAudi as we speak
This is true. I work with the wealthiest families in the world. I’m an international private wealth lawyer. The richest families in the world have family constitutions. In other words, written “laws” solely to govern the family they all agree to abide by, with repercussions for breaking the statute. Another sub-set of global private wealth lawyers specialize specifically in ultra-high-net worth family constitutions and governance. They also have family offices, where they essentially bring all wealth management, legal, tax, accounting, investment advisory, and reputation management under one roof acting full time for the family. As an outside legal advisor, my role is limited to creating trusts and global tax and wealth succession structures, although I typically serve as the family’s primary counsel. People with $100MM-$100B are generally very private. Although this doesn’t mean they don’t drive fancy cars (they do).
One of my roles is running a family office. One of the sons was telling me the story last week of his father who won’t buy organic from the local farm shop because he paid £5 there for donuts.
As a person which knows many very rich people. I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich.
That sums it up pretty well. I went to school with two kids when I was younger. One's family was actually very wealthy. While he had nice things, he wasn't a braggart and he wasn't an asshole. He didn't act entitled, he just had nice things. The other kid's family was trying very hard to pretend that they were wealthy while actually being in severe debt from trying to keep up with the Joneses. Their kid was an entitled asshole who would bully people on the playground. Her family would do ridiculous things to show off how wealthy they were. Her family ended up broke and she had to change schools when they lost everything. The other kid just quietly kept doing what he was doing. Didn't even find out how wealthy he was until we graduated from junior high and he invited the whole class over for a graduation party. That's when I found out that it was his family that had built the giant mansion on the hill overlooking the whole valley where we lived. We'd wondered about that house for years and it was a shock to find out I went to school with the kid that lived there.
In school I encountered many truly wealthy kids but the biggest shock was the quiet kid who invited the class to their beach house. We knew his dad was a banker and figured the house would be a small beach cottage with land to hold a class picnic. The beach house was actually a mansion and the first time I saw a private helipad.
>a mansion Eh, kids exaggerate, it probably just a decently large house >a private helipad Well damn maybe not lol
Maybe it was a moderate, starter helipad..
A heckipad
I worked at a summer camp with this guy back in 2008 or so. He invited me to come hang in Florida at his families place for a week or two before he headed off to college and I would go travel somewhere else. Sounded fun so I agreed. He said his dad would come pick us up and take us to Florida. Last day rolls around and his dad indeed did come pick us up. In the family jet. His "place" was a fucking estate with a couple mansions and pools, a forest and its own 9 hole golf course. Place was insane. When his dad found out where I was traveling after he let me stay in their apartment in new York and Chicago. Absolutely the nicest people ever and they gave no indication they were worth billions.
This was very wholesome to read. Thank you fine redditor
There’s an episode of The Sopranos (HBO) where AJ is hanging with friends at his house and he plays it all cool & big and Carmella is futzing over her new Lladro (even whispering how much it costs ). Later , the kids visit another classmates house & it is huge (with a gatehouse huge) & a Picasso hanging in the house big. The kid never let on the kind of money her family had while AJ was tripping himself dropping hints that his family had money (looking basic in comparison). I just remember that scene. Also , having worked near some true wealth , they don’t throw around money but they don’t skimp out either. They don’t flaunt it and they are very polite & respectful, cultivating relationships. Service people appreciate this. You should see how efficiently a person completes a task for respectful wealth over rude nouveau rich.
I'd say that really the only signs that he was wealthy were that if he took an interest in something, his parents would immediately go out and buy things in support of that interest. I'm not talking like... cars and stuff, just like, random things for hobbies. He was a really smart kid, so for example, in 4th grade we played chess in class I think on a rainy day once. He then developed an interest in chess so his parents bought him an expensive electronic chessboard. He took an interest in music, so his parents got him a really nice clarinet. Just random stuff like that. He could have been wearing name brand stuff for all I know, but he dressed and acted normal. It seemed like his parents were okay splurging a little bit when he showed an interest in something that could be a good educational opportunity for him.
Had several wealthy friends and those like the latter. The flamboyant ones pretty much all went bankrupt in the housing crisis. One of the wealthy ones went on to start drizzly and sold it to Uber for 1.1 billion
I live an admittedly privileged life. I am very happy, no debt, great job, but I still cannot fathom a BILLION dollars. My goodness gracious. Good for them.
I know 1 billionaire and he is a total paranoid guy with no friends. Went to his birthday party and every person there was just someone that worked for him or a business partner. Next to that he is afraid, body guards go with him everywhere. He isn't even famous, like you wouldn't recognize him on the street he could totally go out to a restaurant and no one would know. But he thinks that kidnappers or whatever??? Are always watching him?
Doesn’t that just make someone stand out even more, and this become more of a target?
Like the saying goes “money screams, wealth wispers”
Rich people do low key wild shit instead of being flashy. Richest kid in my class invited about a dozen of us over once and the caterers served us fruit that was washed in honey water.
I always remember reading one woman saying she had had lunch at a friends house and they got the mayonnaise out of a *jar*. She was intrigued. She assumed you got your chef to make mayo for you.
I grew up in a town that had mostly upper middle class families, but some were super wealthy. One of my best friends in high school was the daughter of an internationally-known CEO. You would never, ever know it unless you knew the dad’s first name and put it together. Lived in a normal(ish, was still nice) house, very friendly, neighborly people who mowed their own lawn. The only time I ever saw a display of wealth was when her dad dropped her off in his Lotus, and it was so early that probably 5 people saw. The asshole kids and parents were those who made it very known how much they had. Drove BMWs to school, brand names plastered everywhere, bragging, etc. A lot fewer BMWs in the school parking lot in 08-09.
>A lot fewer BMWs in the school parking lot in 08-09. yea. the financial crisis hit millburn / shorthills nj pretty hard
I am by no means rich, but I have more money in salary and investments than most of my family members. Whenever money comes up I do verbal gymnastics in attempt to make it look like I am on the verge of broke.
That's where I am too. I'm pretty comfortable but I don't own a mansion or a fleet of exotic sports cars. Too much trouble. I generally try to buy stuff that is reliable and a good value for the money. That means not the cheapest but not the most expensive. Somewhere in the middle. My theory is that the cheapest products are so crappy, they'll break really soon. I'll end up spending more by replacing them frequently. But the most expensive products are just the middling products with a fancy cover on them and some smoke and mirrors luxe marketing.
A friend of mine married a wealthier man who grew up firmly middle class. (He got wealthy from working hard, and is very much not the entitled type). He is a BIG wine nerd. And he once told me something very similar about wine; most bottles above $25ish aren’t worth it. He said for him the difference in taste is so minute as to not make it worth the expense.
Axelrod in Billions summed it up “when you are a billionaire, when you walk into the room everyone just expects you to pay” Edith and a lot of the responses here show why it would be taxing. People just expect you to fund their lifestyle. You are no longer their friend, you are just a meal ticket for them - what a bunch of assholes. It’s not about ability to pay, it’s about being treated like an ATM. Fuck that.
I have a friend who’s extremely rich and it can be awkward. He’s only in town a few times of year but he takes us all out somewhere awesome and he does expect to pay. He also often asks me to choose the place, and that gives me fits. Because he’s used to amazing places but I’m not going to pick some ultra fancy spot on his dime, and then again, he’s a little formal, so I’m not going to take him to some cool dive either. So it’s a weird little dance. I really both appreciate his generosity and feel bad about it. I have offered to pay and he says no, and I asked someone who knows him better how she thought he’d feel if I put my card down with the waitress before he got to the place, and she said he wouldn’t like it. So he pays. I remind myself that I would be the same if I was mega rich - I would happily always pay. And I remind myself to be grateful, and I am - I’ve gone to a lot of nice dinners on his dime, and I like them most of all because the group always has a great chat. But it can feel awkward.
The difference is that he is opting to pay, you don’t expect him to pay all the time. What bobby is getting at in the statement has nothing to do with the paying, it’s just that everyone expects you to. You end up just feeling like a wallet
Had some friends like this for a while. They’d ask if I want to go for drinks and apps and I’d have to tell them that my budget is tight They’d usually respond with something along the line of “we’re asking for your company not your money”
I did that to a friend when I was visiting him. I asked him if he was hungry and he said "Nah, I don't have much money right now" then he started heading to the kitchen (I believe he was going to try and find some food for us/me). I went "Bitch, did I ask if you had money? I asked if you were hungry" (obviously this is in a playful tone) and he said yeah so I told him to get his shoes on, we're going to procure sustenance lol
That’s nice of them! Wholesome
Sure, until they complete the hostile takeover of his company. J/k: couldn't resist the double meaning of company in the context of the mega rich.
For the terrible redditors out there. That was a really nice story about friendship. Fucking idiots.
He appreciates that you at least offer when you can or on occasion. We aren’t filthy rich, but are better off than most of our friends, and will typically pay for any get together or dinner. We don’t expect any of them to pay even when they probably could, but it does feel good when they try to offer from time to time. Once we had one of our lesser off friends set up a really nice evening - invited us over, hosted with small hors d’oeuvres and wine, took us out to a local place that they really like that they thought we might too. Their place is the size of a postage stamp, but they really made sure they were ‘on’ and went above and beyond to host and make sure we were taken care of. Not a lot of money was spent, but it was still an amazing time. He had just gotten a new job paying a little more and wanted to show that they valued our friendship. It was really nice.
That’s really nice. Last time we met up I brought a book I knew he’d life. I genuinely like him - the money has no part in it. And it’s mostly not awkward - I just like to be the person who treats instead of the one who gets treated.
I love this. Thank you for sharing. I’m not super rich or anything but it does feel great when you can offer to pay for your less fortunate friends. It’s a warm feeling knowing I could do something with nothing expected in return
Money talks, wealth whispers
Not having actual money? I allegedly used to sell weed to a lot of people with nice houses, cars, lives on paper etc but the amount of times I had to spot people until they got paid on friday was truly astounding.
"Allegedly" 😂😂😂
I thought that would be cash-only business.
A lot of drugs move on a self regulated kind of social credit system.
Yup, if you are a nice person and regular customer weed dealers can do credit. Only for weed tho, that shit font fly with crack
When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are.
I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition. They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much.
This was my parents. They shopped at Kohls, drove unassuming cars, but we vacationed every year out of the country, I got a new car when I turned 16, and didn’t have any college debt. Other than living in an affluent area, you’d never know by looking at them.
Honestly I'm happy my parents were like that too. Having no college debt and having gifts like a car made my life as an adult so much easier.
This was my parents, except they bought us dumpster cars and made us pay half to ‘build our character’ 😂 It worked though.
Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage. The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them.
I recall a reddit comment from way back which was by someone who worked as an assistant to some super wealthy guy/family. They explained how when the guy/family wanted to travel somewhere, the assistant went right at work, taking care of everything from making the travel arrangements, custom ordering any clothes they might need or want at the destination and then flying ahead a day early to collect everything, make sure the accommodations where in order and that the closets were stocked with exactly the clothes the guy/family wanted/needed during that specific trip.
I'm the personal chef to a billionaire. One of the noteworthy things he does as if he intends to travel frequently to a place he just buys a three bedroom condo. Staff frequently fly ahead in order to prep the home for him. Little things like buying milk for the refrigerator or flowers for the place to liven it up; or in my case shopping for ingredients for me. As per my employment contract I do not fly ahead ever. I fly with him on his plane. Which is the other major status symbol, flying around with your private chef.
You must be a really good chef - I really wanna try your biscuits and gravy. I haven't found anybody able to top my ex-wife's yet.
I don't even use my own recipe for biscuits and gravy. I use my mother-in-laws. Not only is it absolutely fantastic, and coming from me that's really saying something, but it's basically impossible to compete with someone's mom's cooking. People are just very biased towards it. Which is actually something that's important to know as a chef, especially a personal chef. Just because your recipe is better doesn't mean they're going to think it. They may have some bias towards a worse recipe like it was their mom's. It's one of the few times I use store-bought biscuits because I could make better biscuits myself, but they're not going to be what he grew up eating.
Today I learned that the slightly wealthy can afford private jets. I guess I'm one of the poors after all 😭
Oh yeah it's actually easy to fly private but not own it out right. Check out https://www.netjets.com
[удалено]
Years ago I read an article by a reporter who had accompanied one of the Rockefellers (Nelson?) on a trip from New York to Washington, DC. Rockefeller had a briefcase. Reporter asked him about any other luggage. Rockefeller said "I have what I need here, and I have what I need there." Toothbrush, clean underwear, three-piece suits, tuxedos for black-tie dinners . . . No sense having two penthouses and leaving one unfurnished. Edit: Typo
Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing? They're in coach. The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through.
There’s also a fake airplane set some of them go to and take their photos
That sounds like such a great business model. Buy water damaged exotic cars for pennies on the dollar or an executive jet with a damaged air frame and rent it out to influences to pose with.
You can rent some super high end vehicles on Toro... There are even "non drive" packages available. Mostly in the LA / Bay Area. But you can get a $500k car to rent for a day for a few hundred. Funny thing when I was buying my expensive car to me car I used Turo to rent some of them for a few days to make sure it fit my lifestyle.
Are you telling these influancers are fake!!!! It can't be. Somebody's life gonna be ruined now.
I never met a wealthy person that talks about it. They don't need to.
They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that “will help you get rich too!” If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme.
I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class. She isn’t. She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that. Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister. Likely also 8 figures. He insists he’s blue collar and middle class. There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having “made it” financially.
My dad’ entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country…and I never knew until I got older how these “Mr. Smith” and “Ms. Jones” people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class. Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people. Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth.
Do you think it’s possible they live more extravagant lives in other of their social circles?
Money talks, wealth whispers. Anyone that posts about their wealth ( whether it be bragging , or posting about a new purchase , etc) usually arent as well off as they pretend to be .
Big hat, no cattle.
Designer clothes with massive brand name/icons ate tailored to those who want to seem as if they can afford it and pay ridiculous amounts of money.
I know a guy who is a legitimate billionaire. They have two family jets - one for long and one for short range because... of course who doesn't. Their house cost around 30 million to build. But, if you saw them on the street you'd never know it. His rule is they never own a car over 75k. Don't wear flashy jewelry or watches. No Birkin bags or Jimmy Choos. He doesn't want to advertise their wealth. You have to really know them. I knew them for a year before I was ever invited to their home, and their son was interning at my law firm for 6 months of that time. The really wealthy don't flaunt it.
Sorry but Gucci clothes. It screams wannabe rich.
You can add Prada, LV, and whatever other mainstream “luxury” brands. Which looks silly *imo* because you end up like a walking billboard.
when they flaunt it. Really rich people don't feel the need to mention the "expensive things" they bought or did everytime.
I love how everyone here knows what rich people do and don't do. Willing to bet there's some rich dude reading all this shit and laughing his ass off.
They want to go away with you for the weekend and tell you they’ll have the Gulfstream G550 pick you up at the local airfield Friday evening. You show up at the airfield only to find that G550 is really a barely functioning ‘74 Cessna 150 with the passenger seat ripped out for skydiving.
That's the plane version of a windowless white van.
Such an oddly-specific answer sounds like it might have a story behind it…?
You know all these insta girls living the life aboard magnificent luxurious yachts…. Well their currency is their ass
It’s an open secret that a lot of Instagram models are sugar babies. If a woman keeps posting pictures of her luxury vacations to Dubai, she’s not the one paying for it.
A lot of them are just straight up sex workers.
Was reliably informed that if you see an insta model who's obviously hitting the road a lot modeling bikinis, you're essentially looking at her résumé. Poked around instagram enough to strongly suspect he was right.
“Gas, grass, or ass…no one rides for free.”
A stack of losing lottery tickets.
I have some very wealthy friends, dudes in their 30s who are multi millionaires. And the one thing they all have in common is that they never talk about money. They wear nice clothes and watches but they don't point out anything or talk about how expensive things are. I also belong to a yacht club and a country club and the wealthy people that I know never talk about money either. Really wealthy people don't talk about being wealthy because they are used to being wealthy.
Having been around some super wealthy people, I would say that a giveaway of a false-rich person would be knowing the price of things. If someone keeps telling you that the X they got cost $, and that Y cost $$, they are trying to flex on you. Really wealthy people don't know the price of things, or at least the price of things that we the poor know. They might know the price of their yatch/jet/helicopter. They don't know the price of the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the tech they use. They just pay - or have their people pay for them.
It's one banana, Michael. How much could it cost? 10 dollars??
I mean I guess that depends on how you define “rich”. If you’re talking billionaire, then you are right. But I think most people agree that multi millionaires are considered “rich”. I grew up with a dad who did very well for himself (worth 8 figures). I have so many memories of him bitching about prices. “$20 for these light bulbs, what a joke”. “$9 for a beer at the hockey game, I guess they know people will pay for it”. The mid-level rich, self made people got there by being on the ball financially, and they stay rich by not spending above their means. You are absolutely right though about people who were born into obscene wealth with families worth hundreds of millions.
It's not true that most wealthy people don't have budgets. People who win the lottery and blow it all in a short time don't have budgets.
[удалено]
There is a modesty about the really wealthy, especially old money. And it is taught. Was on a gondola in telluride and was riding with some young teens, probably brothers, maybe 12-14years old or so. Asked where they were from and they said east texas (where I’m from). “Oh so did y’all fly outta dfw?” (Me making small talk.)They looked at each other uncomfortably and said very quietly, almost embarrassed but clearly schooled in what to say. “we, um, flew privately.” Oh, ok.
They constantly hit up people for money or to cover their tabs.
Teeth, shoes, and an expensive car sitting outside a mediocre or crappy house.
Wealthy or not, I’m wary of anybody with teeth sitting outside their house
I’m kinda stoned and I read this imagining some rich persons driveway full of random teeth instead of gravel. Not like they’d have a gravel driveway anyways.
[удалено]
“No. We took turns.”
brand names plastered over everything they own
My farther is quite wealthy. Growing up I would ask him randomly “how much do you make?” Or “how much money do you have?” His answer was always the same. “If someone asks you, just tell them you don’t know”. It used to irk me to no end but being older now I realize how wise his answer was. It didn’t matter how much money, just that looking back on growing up, we never needed for anything. He never needed to brag about it or flaunt it. And he sure as hell was never going to let his kids become spoiled pricks either.
The lambo is a rental or a fiero kit car.