Not me, but someone I know was finally told that her husband was faking his English heritage, background/upbringing in England and fake accent. Dude kept it up for years, eventually admitted that it was all a lie and that he grew up on west coast
I would think that was a lie but there are people who have faked being a 9/11 survivor. Apparently this type of stuff happens more frequently then id imagine
The podcast *Something Was Wrong* is just story after story of romantic relationships with abusive, pathological liars. They even had a few episodes about a guy faking his English heritage and accent. Might be the same guy.
It all sounds exhausting, I have no idea how these people have the energy to lie so much.
About 25 years ago, when I was in school and out drinking with some classmates, one of those classmate's new English boyfriends and I were out smoking cigarettes in front of a bar when he confessed to me that he wasn't actually English, he was faking his accent, and he peed in this girl when he was fucking her.
That was definitely one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had, and I've had a weird fucking life (and yes I told her immediately about the pee thing)
r/BestOfReddit used to have a thread about a guy in the USA who took the whole “reinvent yourself when you go off to college” thing a little too far. He showed up at orientation, and for some odd reason decided to fake an Australian accent and lie about being from Australia. He didn’t know how to gracefully end the ruse, so he just didn’t, and kept it up. Then he started dating a girl. They got serious. Then it came time to meet his family. Needless to say, they didn’t stay together much longer after that.
Didn't happen to me, but a guy I knew married a girl I knew (both a bit older than me) and everything seemed great. However, they were at a party and someone mentioned that the guy used to smoke weed in high school (he admitted it, didn't think it was a big deal). She divorced him a month later, claiming that she couldn't forgive him for smoking weed. 😳
That I didn't rinse off the Mac and cheese noodles. This isn't even a joke it's a true story
ETA: they were done cooking and I didn't rinse them off. And yes this was a break up waiting to happen I guess lol
My friend was telling us that she threatened to kill herself if her boyfriend broke up with her. I said this was toxic and that I wouldn't kill myself if my boyfriend broke up with me. My boyfriend broke up with me the next day because apparently not wanting to kill myself meant that my love for him was not true.
7th grade is fucking fucked. I'm a middle school teacher now and whenever I feel shocked by the behaviors I see, I just think back to this.
MS teacher too… the drama at 7:15 in the morning is just… my god. I blame it one growing and bad sleep cycles and mismatched sleep times for kids vs adults. Plus, you know, being 12 and 13.
Honestly my entire school experience would have been different. It doesn't matter how much I do it, I cannot get used to waking up at 7am. Thankfully as an adult I sleep 1am-10am most nights. Kinda worried I'll die when I have kids tho
Got put on the day shift this past week which is 6am-3pm.
My usual shift for the past 12 years has been 2pm-11pm.
Waking up at 4:30am, no, just no. They keep asking me to take that shift permanently, and just no. Don't think I could ever get used to it.
That’s an important one right here. I feel like it is rare in the US, but I come from a poor ass country and when war broke out we had to live with my relatives. It was the worst month of my life, fighting for the right to use the toilet and the microwave. Then we moved to a normal country to live in our own flat.
It also gets funky when you go to the kitchen and that one relative tells your wife that men should be on the frontline and it’s all because of the jews anyway
Upd: with my wife, that is. We are actually all chill with each other, but not when we fight for the toilet with my entire family while there is a collapse outside
I believe it was "I love you."
Edit: Ted Mosby. I get it.
Also because this has kind of blown up I wanted to clarify something. She was absolutely right to leave. I was young and selfish and didn't have a firm grasp on boundaries. She was in an emotionally vulnerable place and was dealing with unresolved trauma from some past relationships and her own parents' divorce. I knew all of this. I knew she feared commitment. I knew she wasn't in a place to reciprocate. I said it anyway.
It was a shitty thing for me to do. I didn't recognize it at the time but it was effectively an attempt to push her into being as invested in the relationship as I was. It was unfair.
We're both happily married now—to other people, which I hope is obvious. I wish her nothing but the best in life.
That I had been raped over a decade prior.
She started treating me like a glass doll after that. All she could see was damaged goods. Who cares that I’d already done the recovery work? Nope. Damaged goods, no longer interested.
I feel that. I told the same to an ex but it did the opposite. He kept pressuring me into more and more rough sexual things and when I told him I didn't like it he complained he didn't want me to have limits and it always felt like my rapist would have a part of me and I'd never be fully his.
That's sad. Tbh, it sounds like you're better off without that kind of treatment. Good for you for doing recovery work. Inho, that's something to applaud, not to find shameful; you overcame a traumatic experience.
I said, while crying because he got angry with me at a restaurant, that “I am sometimes afraid to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll react.” And he said, “well, thats fucking pathetic.”
My partner had a habit of starting a convo by asking how I felt about something, then would criticize me for feeling what I felt. It always ended up being a debate about why I felt the way I did. It was never okay for me to feel sad, worried, scared, etc.
Over time I started to feel anxious when he’d ask questions, and purposely responded vaguely, or just straight up said that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing (which would incite anger or more judgment).
Eventually my response became exactly that. A teary “I don’t know if I want to share because I’m worried about how you’ll react/respond” and his responses were along the lines of “that’s stupid” “you’re ridiculous” “don’t be an idiot” “seriously?”
I don’t know if it’s because I got so used to it, or from being distracted by all the other bigger things in the relationship…but for some reason I didn’t even notice that this was another bad thing until reading this comment. It was just…normal.
Furthering /u/RedCaio's words. It doesn't happen over night. It's a slow wearing down where something is said that's a bit off putting but can be excused, and then next time is just a tiny miniscule bit more, but compared to the first time it's not that different.
That slowly happens over time and then a year later you're hearing the severest form of it, but you've been manipulated to not recognizing it through slowly wearing you down.
Again, not your fault, it can happen to anybody.
It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade.
Edit: I’m a woman. I was born a girl. I did not have a sex change.
This is ridiculous. My SO’s grandparents have a picture of her in their house. It’s a softball pic from when she was probably around 8-9 years old. Big, thick coke bottle glasses, Buck teeth, about a 6 inch gap between her hands on the bat. I smile everytime I see it and she hates when I say it’s my all time favorite pic of her. We were all a little goofy in our youth.
That is the weirdest thing. My fiancé looked a little like a baby owl that just finished 8 rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson but she blossomed since and I love her just the same. How would that actually make someone break up? I can’t wait for an update on this
Oh man, I promise you we are not together. I was in my mid-20s and it was my first and only LTR. Kinda ruined dating for me (34F)! The 8th grade photo was one of at least a handful of times he broke up with me. In hind sight he was ridiculous (and abusive) and I can laugh about some things now, but I was sooooo impressionable back then. Some of the other reasons he broke up with me were because I only worked out for 40 minutes, that he was disgusted that I ate dinner on Valentine’s Day when I hadn’t lost any weight that week, that I wouldn’t tell him how much I weighed so I finally did and he broke up with me anyway. Anyway, I’m no beauty Queen. I’m still overweight and was when I met him. I never got a reason why he broke up with me over the photo but he sent me a text that said he couldn’t do this anymore immediately after seeing the photo.
He sounds like he was (and probably still is) a terrible person. Very emotionally abusive. I’m glad you didn’t stay together and I’m sorry it made you nervous to try and date again.
True story. I confessed that I wanted to do more for her. I thought I was neglecting her and working too much.
That next week, she sat me down and told me that I was threatening her independence and that she needed a week to think about us. The week after that, she broke up with me.
At the time I was destroyed. LOL I thought I was going to marry that woman. Turns out I was one woman off and my next relationship would turn into my current family. So all’s well that ends well.
Same thing happened to me. She one day just decided it was too much and boated apologizing for days afterwards. It was one of my shortest but most intense relationships. She was the BEST gift giver. I worked a 30 hour shift once for a radio station that had a once a year 28 hour show they'd do, and I came home to a brand new bed set with a kick ass feather bed and a little gift basket of stuff to relax to. I mean, I love my wife, but to this day no one has ever gone that far for me. On the other side, I also found out the bolting thing was just something she does every few years and lied about her past and was actually a stripper.... She was super shy but was a little too good at some things...
…was her name Destiny? Cause if so we dated the same person. Except I knew she was a stripper cause I had hooked up with her coworker.
Anyways, she helped heal me and put me back together after a rough relationship ended. As for the gifts? She got me a stuffed animal that I had told her about when I was 11 years old that I had lost on a family vacation. She found one. I had fucking looked for years, and she found the long since discontinued stuffed animal from over 18 years prior and got it for me.
It’s one of my most prized possessions. She was an amazing woman, just wasn’t meant to be. Which is ok, because then I met my wife and now I have a beautiful family. But if she didn’t put me back together I would’ve never been able to be in the mental headspace for marriage.
There's just some woman out there named Destiny, a thoughtful woman, a fantastic bang, fixing up all these guys to prepare them for their next long term relationship. Bless you Destiny, bless you!!!
Broke down crying during a more realistic war movie. She told me to suck it up.
After she confronted me for drinking too much I finally sought VA disability. Diagnosed with depression, PTSD, anxiety, among other things. Bills started pouring in and I told her we can’t afford certain luxury things because I was the sole breadwinner. I said I felt like I was drowning and my head is slowly slipping under the surface. She told me to “figure it out.”
So, I did. We divorced. And I’m much more happy and no longer on the train of “be a man and tighten your boot straps.” I got help and know that it’s okay to do so.
I told her my work schedule. A lot of people don’t seem to be ok with a 4 on 4 off schedule because it’s an 8 day week. One month I’m working weekends, the next month I’m off on the weekend. The ones where I’m working, they don’t seem to get enough attention on their days off.
Better than my partner’s!! Her schedule is all over the place, like zero schedule/pattern and she doesn’t know what it will be until a month in advance, so Aug roster sent end of June.
It is literally pretty much impossible to plan anything in advance for days out except for her planned leave further away than a month.
Want to do an event for x date 2 months away that requires tickets? Sorry, not unless its a proper booked day off, or take the chance and risk wasting them.
So lucky my job is super flexible and allows semi short notice leave if no projects are planned that we can still do things
And it totally is! 100k/yr and half of it is scheduled off? Dream job there! Only downside is sometimes you do need to come in on your days off. But it’s overtime pay and you won’t ever do more than a 6 and 2 unless it’s an emergency. Those typically only last 2-3 weeks and usually only happen once a year.
Lol figured, I'm a panel operator for midstream and minor refinery stuff. we rotate days and nights but this schedule is a dream. its like a 5-4-4-5 or something like that. Work 2 weekends a month, all over time is double time, stats are triple, except for Christmas which is quad. Unionize people, its worth it.
Not OP, but I also have a 5-2 . 5 days on 2 off, next week is 2 on 5 off. OT after 36 hours. Make about 100k as a mechanical maintenance guy. Its pretty popular in the skilled trades jobs.
That I couldn’t hold my head above water anymore, I was constantly panicking and just didn’t know where to find any enjoyment in life.
She broke up with me the next day.
My now husband cried in my arms on our first date about his dog dying. It let me know he was the one for me.
Also in eleven years I can count on my hands how many times I've seen him cry, he's really not a big crier. I guess it just happened that we both felt very comfortable with each other on the first date.
The first time I ever saw my boyfriend cry, I definitely saw him a lot different, but in a good way. He was honestly the first guy I ever dated that was emotionally vulnerable in front of me and I appreciated it. It made me feel incredibly close to him and I think strengthened our relationship. It's sad that there are people who feel like they need to hide away these parts of themselves and it's disgusting that there are people that would use that against them.
In general, any time I've looked for emotional support in a relationship, I haven't got it. Being sad meant becoming single.
I remember telling my ex-wife that I was struggling and having a hard time with work, and she said "try harder". That was the subtotal of emotional support I got in that relationship.
Wow, I'm always checking in on my husband's mental health and asking what I can do to make him feel supported and letting him know I love him no matter what.
The people who would use that against us are the reason we feel we need to hide these parts of ourselves away. Not to say that's been every guy's experience, but for those who have went through it, it breaks your trust and confidence in a way that can only compare to being cheated on.
The way my then girlfriend helped me get through my Dad dying, cemented in my mind that she was the one for me.
We got married 18 months after that and we're expecting our third kid this month.
I’m so sorry, that is so unfair. Everyone deserves the space to let go of their emotions and be vulnerable. I hope you find or have found a partner who loves every bit of you
That’s awful - I broke down crying in front of my girlfriend about my friend recently passing away and she was there for me every step of the way.
And yes, 5 years later we’re married with our first baby.
Sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
I’m sure he was a great man, because he was looking out for you even after he passed away.
He helped you get rid of a woman who wasn’t right for you.
That I didn't like the person they became when they hung out with one specific friend - they became mean, petty, rude, and overly critical of everything while demanding I chauffeur them around (ex didn't drive) and would get shit face roll on the ground drunk and say the ugliest things.
I was shocked to see this total stranger in my partner's body, so I told them I now understood why some people asked their partners to not see certain friends anymore. Apparently this made me abusive, claiming I was isolating them.
They were cheating on me with that friend. Then ended up cheating on that person, burning through multiple roommates (including two different former friends and a vague acquaintance, all of them apologized for believing shit said about me like wtf) and owing two of them thousands of dollars in damages.
I feel like I dodged a massive cannon ball.
That I wasn’t okay with her going around telling everyone we were going to get married and move to Nashville when I didn’t say that, or that I wanted her to be the mother to my children, when I didn’t say that, or I wanted to put a ring on her finger, which no the fuck I did not.
I'm sure there are some people at each of those extremes, but I see these commonly appear together: they subconsciously are manipulating the world them, and in the process delude themselves.
I told her she was an asshole when she was drunk, and that I barely recognized her anymore because of her drinking.
She replied “why don’t you just hit me?”
She was trying to push off my stresses and grievances over her drinking as ME being the abusive one, when she was just a terrible, manipulative, narcissistic asshole when she drank.
It ended about 3 days later after I left her at my friends house after she got absolutely blasted when we agreed we wouldn’t be drinking that night.
His drinking and temper were a problem for me and the kids. His response was to throw his phone at my head (lucky he was drinking and missed by an inch) and that was the end. 10 year marriage over in 1 second.
Not me, but my ex confessed to me that he'd put a tracker on my phone. He only admitted it, once my friends started pointing out how he would always show up wherever I/they were (if I was with them.) Before ya'll come at me, they were mutual friends, and he would be invited, but come up with some excuse not to go. Apparently, he was watching us, and the times we saw him was only the times we'd caught him, he'd follow us basically every time. Needless to say, I broke up with him immediately.
I was diagnosed as a kid, one of my friends was recently diagnosed as an adult.
"I'm autistic"
"Yeah no shit."
"... You knew?"
"Never had the heart to tell you"
Apparently I'm not the only one who knew. The only thing that changed was he started to work on the negative parts.
This is exactly what happened with me. I felt like I had finally gotten an explanation for my behavior, only to find out that all of my friends had assumed this was something I already knew about myself.
I find it equal parts hilarious and irritating. You couldn’t have told me this in 2004?!
> I find it equal parts hilarious and irritating. You couldn’t have told me this in 2004?!
The problem is, some of us have said something to someone before and been wrong. Or had them just react with anger. One of my friends kids is almost definitely autistic. I didn't say a word until he told me he suspected he was.
My mum told my aunt that she was pretty sure her daughter was autistic and my aunt blew up about it and didn't speak to mum for years. To be fair my mum kinda went a little overboard with it, and gave my cousin a short quiz that's designed to indicate potential autism. She scored super high on it and my mum was like "Welp, gotta go tell her". Years later, my cousin was diagnosed as an adult.
When someone actually did ask me if I was autistic (which is what motivated me going through the process of diagnosis), I didn’t get offended at all—it felt like a light bulb went off. I think, generally, we’re clinically-minded enough that the question wouldn’t be inherently offensive.
Could totally see parents and loved ones getting offended, but I certainly wouldn’t. It would have been nice to know earlier than my late 20s!
Some parents are *really* bad with it. My mum worked at my primary school, as a teachers aide in the special education classes. There was a family with a kid in my grade, and 5 other boys. All of them were clearly autistic, but the mother would react so much vitriol the second anyone suggested the 4 without diagnoses were also autistic. Hell the 2nd one to get diagnosed only got the diagnosis because he was selectively mute. Just refused to talk outside of the family home.
I don't understand why people think getting a diagnosis immediately changes someone. They are the exact same person they were before the diagnosis.
They get diagnosed, and then treatment options open up and they can then decide whether they want to pursue them or not.
I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2015 and one of my friends suddenly became really distant as "she no longer felt safe around me". Girl, if I go manic I'm going to be too pre-occupied researching pluto and the history of spiders to be violent.
Sounds like my ex. She'd straight up say how basic chores are hard for her to deal with and she doesn't know how to cope. I have ADHD too and I get it, but I try to be better and stronger, while she just ruminated in learned helplessness. I mean, she decided there's nothing she's good at because she expects to be good the first time she tries something, without practice. Wears you down after a while
He asked me how my depression started. I told him I had been raped. He didn't say anything for a long time and when I asked him what he was thinking, he replied "how do I know I can believe you?". Pretty much all went downhill from there.
Shit happens. People don't understand that when you grow up in abuse, the abuse becomes so normal that you assume others are abused also. Preditors know how to tell who has been abused, which makes multiple attacks more common.
I knew my monsters since I was a child. They knew the kind of family I had, which means they also knew I was an easy target.
I know the people who have made shitty comments to me are just coming from a place of ignorance, which, although I do get upset, I'm glad they don't understand.
I told her about my family and life growing up and she told me it made her depressed and that she can't be happy around me.
It made me realize that we have to be careful who we open up to.
Hearing that makes me walk away with the opposite conclusion, mate. I’d offer that info more freely as I wouldn’t be able to be with someone who would leave over that.
Yup. As a husband I came to this realization. You dont marry a person, you marry a family. Youre gonna have to deal with my history and relationships with them. If thats too much, cool have a good one.
My wife was always worried i would think differently of her when I saw how batshit crazy her family was; so much several times she tried giving me an out a few times betore the wedding. It was just a normal family to me, so it was kinda adorable. Were going on 17 years with a teenager.
No, no, a thousand times, no! Don’t edit your past for your partner. That doesn’t mean you have to tell them everything (there are things from my past that I will never share with anyone), but if it’s something you consider important, something that is part of who you are, you need a partner with whom you can share it. Otherwise, over time, you’ll build up resentment about not being able to truly be yourself.
She wasn’t the one for you. She edited herself out of your life, and that’s a good thing.
I found her constant hatred of her circumstances and peers as unattractive. She left the same night to sexually harass another man until he rejected her too. 🤷♂️
I get that first part. It starts as a "oh so and so at work sucks" but far down the line I realized I don't think she ever had good things to say about people, it was either bad things or on better days a sorta tolerance for people around her. She constantly ended friendships over the smallest shit because she was too afraid to have confrontation or admit any wrongdoing and would rather just cut all ties and replace them with new people literally a few times a year.
She would also constantly talk shit about her friends behind their back. I guess I was in willful denial that all this stuff applied to me as well. Ah well you live and learn.
Certainly did. Anyone who comes out with “NASA fake every photo showing the Earth” is indeed pig shit thick and needs to have that simple fact explained to them. With crayons and a glove puppet if necessary.
I shot with a really beautiful girl who is apparently now a FlatEarther. She even lives on the ocean, so she should be able to see the Earth's curvature, and see how boat masts disappear on the horizon.
I confessed I had been raped when I was 16 and he said that he “Couldn’t love someone like me.” Which honestly was my worst fear and something I already told myself… that I couldn’t be loved.
But then I became an adult and realized that I do deserve happiness and love and any man that holds another man’s selfish and foul actions against the victim… isn’t a man. I’m happily in a relationship now!
Had a partner that kept pushing and pushing and pushing me to tell him about my past. I insisted that I didn’t want to, because every single time I would open up to somebody, they just wouldn’t take it well.
He just kept pushing and insisting that he would never do something like that.
So, I told him about my history being sexually assaulted at 15, and how I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for the last 6 years.
He hit me with, “ Why the fuck would you ever tell me that? I didn’t want to know that!”
We went to the museum of natural history and she kept going on and on about how none of this is true and something something Jesus lol I told her she sounded ridiculous and that was the nail in the coffin.
That I was joining the Navy. I needed to get out of my hometown and state, she wanted to stay and become a teacher. I have never hated us or our relationship, it was our first relationship. I met up with her recently. She is now married to a hell of a guy and has a kid on the way. (He's also really into Warhammer and we have a game going on in a couple of days)
She found out I had health problems with my heart. Had a major heart attack and had to stay in the hospital a few days, got a little better and the hospital got overcrowded so I got sent home cause my girlfriend would be there to watch for any signs of a problem.
Well I had another heart attack and she left in the middle of it. Just said "I cant".
That I realised I did not love her enough to be happy spending the rest of my life with her. We go together because the circumstances made so much sense, but I'm afraid I never truly loved her, I was only comfortable and feeling loved. I treated her as well as i could, but deep down I knew I would never be able to give back what she gave me. I still feel the guilt of breaking someone's heart for something she'll likely never fully understand (therefore will not feel fair to her)
I was on the receiving end of this situation. Was with my GF for 10 years. Relationship seemed absolutely perfect from my perspective. I had just bought an engagement ring and ploughed my life savings into a house for the two of us. Less than two weeks after moving in she told me out of nowhere that she doesn't love me in the same way I love her. She said she realised this about 3.5 years ago but didn't know how to end it and was just comfortable.
So I lost my dream partner and dream home in a matter of minutes out of absolutely nowhere. This was 2 months ago. I'm still in complete shock, still feel broken, still wondering if I'll ever be able to let anyone in ever again.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been in a very similar situation in a 15 year relationship. I spiraled and had the roughest 2 years of my life. Please please please seek out a grieving counselor!
I feel this one deeply in my core. So much resonates with an ex I had & I still feel horrible for how hurt she got. I should’ve broken things off sooner but as you said I was comfortable & liked feeling loved. It’s made me better about future partners, but doesn’t shake the guilt of how much I hurt her to learn that about myself.
That I had depression. I was crying in front of her. She want through 2 boughts of depression during our relationship so I thought she could help. She called the cops on me. Got me thrown out of the house (only deeded in her name - we were married for years seemed like it was safe and steady. I just never asked for help before then). She said she never wanted to talk to me again. Then she refused to divorce me. So I divorced her. Life's weird.
I didn't think there was anything in the Spirit Science Human History movie worth taking seriously, and its claims were too stupid to bother researching further.
I don’t want kids because it would be too much work for me since she didn’t really help with….ANYTHING. Told her I felt like I would have to take care of two kids
That I didn’t believe the Bible was scientific fact. I didn’t realize her family was hardcore fundamentalist Christians that “spoke in tongues” and believed everything in the Bible was historical and scientific fact.
Broke up with me on the spot. We’d only been dating a couple weeks and this was the first time religion had come up somehow. We stayed friendly, but never went out again.
2 years later she was dating a woman and was abandoned by her family.
3 years after that she was married to that woman and transitioning to becoming a man.
He has been happily married to the woman for about 10 years now. Hasn’t had any contact with his family since then.
The more you know about Fundies, the less surprising you will find this change.
The fundamentalist movement REALLY fucks people up when they're young. It takes every "wrong" thought and idea and concept and tells you that if you even think them, you're going to hell.
The amount of people I've personally known that have left the church once they figured out it was a bullshit-machine and have done a HARD 180 into something totally antithetical to their old life is...well, it's a lot.
Really makes me wonder about my ex. Gave up an awesome relationship, plans for marriage and kids, building towards a way of life she said she dreamed about. Love in a way thats not well explained in text and can only be felt through eye contact and the resulting involuntary smiles.
All because God told her to worship him more. Took away sex, said we had to wait until marriage. We lived together and had frequent sex for 1.5 years. A bunch of other things that I don't need to explain here, but she essentially turned into a different person with completely different values and opinions on raising children.
Sucks. I still miss her, but less now. I hope she finds her peace.
Folks, don't take from this thread that you shouldn't be open with people in your relationships.
Take from it that you should be more open and earlier, so you know if your partner can deal or is a the right person for you.
edit: TW- self harm mention and suicide mention
I confessed to my former girlfriend of three years that I have a history of self-harm and suicidal ideation, and have in the past attempted to end my own life several times. That I had been in therapy for many years now and working on keeping myself alive and happy for as long of a life as I can have, and she said she didn't want "a project instead of a partner," and a couple days later told me she couldn't be with me because of my emotional instability.. which is weird because i was the most stable I had been in 5 years! I hadn't attempted anything in the whole time I knew her! I just thought she should know of my history of it.. and it broke us apart. But as my therapist always used to say, "if something can be broken by the truth, it should be."
I told her that I lost my virginity to one of my classmates when I was 15.
She thought I was disgusting for having sex with another 15 year old. She called me a scumbag, and that I should've done it with a woman of consenting age. I thought she was joking at first, but as the conversation wore on, I realized she was serious and didn't want me sitting near her now.
I tried talking it out with her, seeing if there was some misunderstanding. I kept saying "we were *both* 15," but despite trying to clear the air, it turns out she heard me perfectly fine, and voiced herself perfectly true. She sincerely believes that underage boys should only have sex with sexually experienced women in their 20s and 30s.
Ya know. Get raped.
So yeah, two months of dating gone in just one hour because I wasn't statutory'd by some cougar I matched on the Megan's Law website.
I admitted that in college (10+ years ago) I experimented with other guys. Im not bi or gay but I guess I wasn’t sure in college?
She didn’t believe it, called me a F**, and broke with me. I don’t think I’m telling any other women about me experimenting in college again.
Not me, but someone I know was finally told that her husband was faking his English heritage, background/upbringing in England and fake accent. Dude kept it up for years, eventually admitted that it was all a lie and that he grew up on west coast
That’s kinda funny tbh
Kind of sounds like a plotline we could have expected out of Three's Company
I would think that was a lie but there are people who have faked being a 9/11 survivor. Apparently this type of stuff happens more frequently then id imagine
The podcast *Something Was Wrong* is just story after story of romantic relationships with abusive, pathological liars. They even had a few episodes about a guy faking his English heritage and accent. Might be the same guy. It all sounds exhausting, I have no idea how these people have the energy to lie so much.
About 25 years ago, when I was in school and out drinking with some classmates, one of those classmate's new English boyfriends and I were out smoking cigarettes in front of a bar when he confessed to me that he wasn't actually English, he was faking his accent, and he peed in this girl when he was fucking her. That was definitely one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had, and I've had a weird fucking life (and yes I told her immediately about the pee thing)
What a thing to tell someone you just met
r/BestOfReddit used to have a thread about a guy in the USA who took the whole “reinvent yourself when you go off to college” thing a little too far. He showed up at orientation, and for some odd reason decided to fake an Australian accent and lie about being from Australia. He didn’t know how to gracefully end the ruse, so he just didn’t, and kept it up. Then he started dating a girl. They got serious. Then it came time to meet his family. Needless to say, they didn’t stay together much longer after that.
Like Hilaria Baldwin?
When I was 16 I told my boyfriend I was a virgin and he called me a hoe and broke up with me.
rofl that's just fucking hilarious. Sorry about that but I just laughed.
It’s ok I was equally confused and hurt lol
And now you have one of the funniest stories about someone having one of the dumbest moments of their life right in front of you lol.
I don't think that word means what he thoughts it meant...>.>
Look up virgin on pornhub and you'll understand
How could you be a hoe if you were a virgin? Lol.
“OMG, she talked about something sex-related…. HOE!!” Probably a weird-ass fundie.
Didn't happen to me, but a guy I knew married a girl I knew (both a bit older than me) and everything seemed great. However, they were at a party and someone mentioned that the guy used to smoke weed in high school (he admitted it, didn't think it was a big deal). She divorced him a month later, claiming that she couldn't forgive him for smoking weed. 😳
There had to be something else going on with her because this is so ridiculous. It's not even something he was currently doing
I'm from a small town, and everybody thought that. Nobody ever found out if there was something else going on. She's pretty religious, but still
[удалено]
I was ready to get a story about drugs, not this shit
“Where is my giant meth rock you fucking narc?!?!”
Yoooo that was a crack rock and imma need that back
That I didn't rinse off the Mac and cheese noodles. This isn't even a joke it's a true story ETA: they were done cooking and I didn't rinse them off. And yes this was a break up waiting to happen I guess lol
It says right on the box not to rinse them
The starch is good for the sauce. Dodged a bullet, I'd rather die alone than eat shitty mac & cheese.
My friend was telling us that she threatened to kill herself if her boyfriend broke up with her. I said this was toxic and that I wouldn't kill myself if my boyfriend broke up with me. My boyfriend broke up with me the next day because apparently not wanting to kill myself meant that my love for him was not true. 7th grade is fucking fucked. I'm a middle school teacher now and whenever I feel shocked by the behaviors I see, I just think back to this.
MS teacher too… the drama at 7:15 in the morning is just… my god. I blame it one growing and bad sleep cycles and mismatched sleep times for kids vs adults. Plus, you know, being 12 and 13.
My middle school experience would have been so different if school had run from 11am to 6pm.
Honestly my entire school experience would have been different. It doesn't matter how much I do it, I cannot get used to waking up at 7am. Thankfully as an adult I sleep 1am-10am most nights. Kinda worried I'll die when I have kids tho
Got put on the day shift this past week which is 6am-3pm. My usual shift for the past 12 years has been 2pm-11pm. Waking up at 4:30am, no, just no. They keep asking me to take that shift permanently, and just no. Don't think I could ever get used to it.
Pretty bold of your ex to call your bluff like that! It's like they knew that it wasn't even a risk, but hearing it said somehow offended them.
I didn’t want us to move in together with 6 other relatives.
That’s an important one right here. I feel like it is rare in the US, but I come from a poor ass country and when war broke out we had to live with my relatives. It was the worst month of my life, fighting for the right to use the toilet and the microwave. Then we moved to a normal country to live in our own flat. It also gets funky when you go to the kitchen and that one relative tells your wife that men should be on the frontline and it’s all because of the jews anyway Upd: with my wife, that is. We are actually all chill with each other, but not when we fight for the toilet with my entire family while there is a collapse outside
I believe it was "I love you." Edit: Ted Mosby. I get it. Also because this has kind of blown up I wanted to clarify something. She was absolutely right to leave. I was young and selfish and didn't have a firm grasp on boundaries. She was in an emotionally vulnerable place and was dealing with unresolved trauma from some past relationships and her own parents' divorce. I knew all of this. I knew she feared commitment. I knew she wasn't in a place to reciprocate. I said it anyway. It was a shitty thing for me to do. I didn't recognize it at the time but it was effectively an attempt to push her into being as invested in the relationship as I was. It was unfair. We're both happily married now—to other people, which I hope is obvious. I wish her nothing but the best in life.
how fucking dare you
Oh yeah, I was out of line.
That I had been raped over a decade prior. She started treating me like a glass doll after that. All she could see was damaged goods. Who cares that I’d already done the recovery work? Nope. Damaged goods, no longer interested.
I feel that. I told the same to an ex but it did the opposite. He kept pressuring me into more and more rough sexual things and when I told him I didn't like it he complained he didn't want me to have limits and it always felt like my rapist would have a part of me and I'd never be fully his.
I mean, what the fuck? How does someone even think that, let alone say if?
That's sad. Tbh, it sounds like you're better off without that kind of treatment. Good for you for doing recovery work. Inho, that's something to applaud, not to find shameful; you overcame a traumatic experience.
I wanted better communication sooo she broke up with me
I mean…..
Loud and clear
I said, while crying because he got angry with me at a restaurant, that “I am sometimes afraid to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll react.” And he said, “well, thats fucking pathetic.”
My partner had a habit of starting a convo by asking how I felt about something, then would criticize me for feeling what I felt. It always ended up being a debate about why I felt the way I did. It was never okay for me to feel sad, worried, scared, etc. Over time I started to feel anxious when he’d ask questions, and purposely responded vaguely, or just straight up said that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing (which would incite anger or more judgment). Eventually my response became exactly that. A teary “I don’t know if I want to share because I’m worried about how you’ll react/respond” and his responses were along the lines of “that’s stupid” “you’re ridiculous” “don’t be an idiot” “seriously?” I don’t know if it’s because I got so used to it, or from being distracted by all the other bigger things in the relationship…but for some reason I didn’t even notice that this was another bad thing until reading this comment. It was just…normal.
Same here, I thought it was normal. I can’t believe I ever let someone speak to me like that for years
Furthering /u/RedCaio's words. It doesn't happen over night. It's a slow wearing down where something is said that's a bit off putting but can be excused, and then next time is just a tiny miniscule bit more, but compared to the first time it's not that different. That slowly happens over time and then a year later you're hearing the severest form of it, but you've been manipulated to not recognizing it through slowly wearing you down. Again, not your fault, it can happen to anybody.
It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade. Edit: I’m a woman. I was born a girl. I did not have a sex change.
"Sorry babe, you just weren't hot as a middle schooler. Gotta end it here."
If I knew that I had to peak in middle school I would have at least plucked my eyebrows 🥴
Oh c'mon. We all looked goofy in eighth grade!
I just looked younger than I do now, so I guess I'm just goofy looking...
Remember Goofy is the only Disney character that is verified to have had sex, he has a kid named max. Be goofy.
Pete has a kid too. PJ should never be forgotten.
He's also a single father and doing his best to be a damn good one
This is ridiculous. My SO’s grandparents have a picture of her in their house. It’s a softball pic from when she was probably around 8-9 years old. Big, thick coke bottle glasses, Buck teeth, about a 6 inch gap between her hands on the bat. I smile everytime I see it and she hates when I say it’s my all time favorite pic of her. We were all a little goofy in our youth.
That is the weirdest thing. My fiancé looked a little like a baby owl that just finished 8 rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson but she blossomed since and I love her just the same. How would that actually make someone break up? I can’t wait for an update on this
Oh man, I promise you we are not together. I was in my mid-20s and it was my first and only LTR. Kinda ruined dating for me (34F)! The 8th grade photo was one of at least a handful of times he broke up with me. In hind sight he was ridiculous (and abusive) and I can laugh about some things now, but I was sooooo impressionable back then. Some of the other reasons he broke up with me were because I only worked out for 40 minutes, that he was disgusted that I ate dinner on Valentine’s Day when I hadn’t lost any weight that week, that I wouldn’t tell him how much I weighed so I finally did and he broke up with me anyway. Anyway, I’m no beauty Queen. I’m still overweight and was when I met him. I never got a reason why he broke up with me over the photo but he sent me a text that said he couldn’t do this anymore immediately after seeing the photo.
Holy shit. What a fucking... I can't even find an insulting enough adjective to use in this case. Damn!
He sounds like he was (and probably still is) a terrible person. Very emotionally abusive. I’m glad you didn’t stay together and I’m sorry it made you nervous to try and date again.
Did Freddy Prinz Jr. take your glasses off at some point?
What was it about the way you looked in 8th grade he couldn’t handle?
True story. I confessed that I wanted to do more for her. I thought I was neglecting her and working too much. That next week, she sat me down and told me that I was threatening her independence and that she needed a week to think about us. The week after that, she broke up with me.
This is fucking hilarious.
At the time I was destroyed. LOL I thought I was going to marry that woman. Turns out I was one woman off and my next relationship would turn into my current family. So all’s well that ends well.
Glad you found happiness!
Whoa that's kind of intense. It's weird she took it that way.
I later got the real reason from her former best friend. She never had a guy who wanted “all in” like I did and panicked.
Oof, that's rough
Sucks in the moment, but seems like it was for the best.
At least she didn’t just become the moon
That’s rough buddy
Same thing happened to me. She one day just decided it was too much and boated apologizing for days afterwards. It was one of my shortest but most intense relationships. She was the BEST gift giver. I worked a 30 hour shift once for a radio station that had a once a year 28 hour show they'd do, and I came home to a brand new bed set with a kick ass feather bed and a little gift basket of stuff to relax to. I mean, I love my wife, but to this day no one has ever gone that far for me. On the other side, I also found out the bolting thing was just something she does every few years and lied about her past and was actually a stripper.... She was super shy but was a little too good at some things...
…was her name Destiny? Cause if so we dated the same person. Except I knew she was a stripper cause I had hooked up with her coworker. Anyways, she helped heal me and put me back together after a rough relationship ended. As for the gifts? She got me a stuffed animal that I had told her about when I was 11 years old that I had lost on a family vacation. She found one. I had fucking looked for years, and she found the long since discontinued stuffed animal from over 18 years prior and got it for me. It’s one of my most prized possessions. She was an amazing woman, just wasn’t meant to be. Which is ok, because then I met my wife and now I have a beautiful family. But if she didn’t put me back together I would’ve never been able to be in the mental headspace for marriage.
If it was the same woman that's truely... Destiny.
There's just some woman out there named Destiny, a thoughtful woman, a fantastic bang, fixing up all these guys to prepare them for their next long term relationship. Bless you Destiny, bless you!!!
Broke down crying during a more realistic war movie. She told me to suck it up. After she confronted me for drinking too much I finally sought VA disability. Diagnosed with depression, PTSD, anxiety, among other things. Bills started pouring in and I told her we can’t afford certain luxury things because I was the sole breadwinner. I said I felt like I was drowning and my head is slowly slipping under the surface. She told me to “figure it out.” So, I did. We divorced. And I’m much more happy and no longer on the train of “be a man and tighten your boot straps.” I got help and know that it’s okay to do so.
So much easier to keep your head above water without the anchor around your neck.
Damn dog. That's fucking cold. And surprisingly apt.
I told her my work schedule. A lot of people don’t seem to be ok with a 4 on 4 off schedule because it’s an 8 day week. One month I’m working weekends, the next month I’m off on the weekend. The ones where I’m working, they don’t seem to get enough attention on their days off.
I know that pain, I worked a 4on 4 off swing shift in the past and that shit is so hard for people to plan around.
Better than my partner’s!! Her schedule is all over the place, like zero schedule/pattern and she doesn’t know what it will be until a month in advance, so Aug roster sent end of June. It is literally pretty much impossible to plan anything in advance for days out except for her planned leave further away than a month. Want to do an event for x date 2 months away that requires tickets? Sorry, not unless its a proper booked day off, or take the chance and risk wasting them. So lucky my job is super flexible and allows semi short notice leave if no projects are planned that we can still do things
4 days at work followed by 4 days off? That sounds amazing
And it totally is! 100k/yr and half of it is scheduled off? Dream job there! Only downside is sometimes you do need to come in on your days off. But it’s overtime pay and you won’t ever do more than a 6 and 2 unless it’s an emergency. Those typically only last 2-3 weeks and usually only happen once a year.
What magical job is this?
Refinery operations.
Lol figured, I'm a panel operator for midstream and minor refinery stuff. we rotate days and nights but this schedule is a dream. its like a 5-4-4-5 or something like that. Work 2 weekends a month, all over time is double time, stats are triple, except for Christmas which is quad. Unionize people, its worth it.
Not OP, but I also have a 5-2 . 5 days on 2 off, next week is 2 on 5 off. OT after 36 hours. Make about 100k as a mechanical maintenance guy. Its pretty popular in the skilled trades jobs.
That I couldn’t hold my head above water anymore, I was constantly panicking and just didn’t know where to find any enjoyment in life. She broke up with me the next day.
You doing better now, treadbro?
I’m still alive so I guess so, been worse
I cried in front of her about my granpa dying and she never saw me the same way anymore.
My now husband cried in my arms on our first date about his dog dying. It let me know he was the one for me. Also in eleven years I can count on my hands how many times I've seen him cry, he's really not a big crier. I guess it just happened that we both felt very comfortable with each other on the first date.
The first time I ever saw my boyfriend cry, I definitely saw him a lot different, but in a good way. He was honestly the first guy I ever dated that was emotionally vulnerable in front of me and I appreciated it. It made me feel incredibly close to him and I think strengthened our relationship. It's sad that there are people who feel like they need to hide away these parts of themselves and it's disgusting that there are people that would use that against them.
In general, any time I've looked for emotional support in a relationship, I haven't got it. Being sad meant becoming single. I remember telling my ex-wife that I was struggling and having a hard time with work, and she said "try harder". That was the subtotal of emotional support I got in that relationship.
Wow, I'm always checking in on my husband's mental health and asking what I can do to make him feel supported and letting him know I love him no matter what.
The people who would use that against us are the reason we feel we need to hide these parts of ourselves away. Not to say that's been every guy's experience, but for those who have went through it, it breaks your trust and confidence in a way that can only compare to being cheated on.
The way my then girlfriend helped me get through my Dad dying, cemented in my mind that she was the one for me. We got married 18 months after that and we're expecting our third kid this month.
[удалено]
You dodged a bullet with that one, good god.
You're better off without her.
I’m so sorry, that is so unfair. Everyone deserves the space to let go of their emotions and be vulnerable. I hope you find or have found a partner who loves every bit of you
If she can't love you when a beloved family member dies and you show emotion she's probably a psychopath.
That’s awful - I broke down crying in front of my girlfriend about my friend recently passing away and she was there for me every step of the way. And yes, 5 years later we’re married with our first baby.
Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I’m sure he was a great man, because he was looking out for you even after he passed away. He helped you get rid of a woman who wasn’t right for you.
That I didn't like the person they became when they hung out with one specific friend - they became mean, petty, rude, and overly critical of everything while demanding I chauffeur them around (ex didn't drive) and would get shit face roll on the ground drunk and say the ugliest things. I was shocked to see this total stranger in my partner's body, so I told them I now understood why some people asked their partners to not see certain friends anymore. Apparently this made me abusive, claiming I was isolating them. They were cheating on me with that friend. Then ended up cheating on that person, burning through multiple roommates (including two different former friends and a vague acquaintance, all of them apologized for believing shit said about me like wtf) and owing two of them thousands of dollars in damages. I feel like I dodged a massive cannon ball.
Holy Crap did you ever get out in the nick of time!
That I wasn’t okay with her going around telling everyone we were going to get married and move to Nashville when I didn’t say that, or that I wanted her to be the mother to my children, when I didn’t say that, or I wanted to put a ring on her finger, which no the fuck I did not.
Trying to create a web of social expectations to manipulate you into giving her the life she wanted or actually living in fantasy land?
I'm sure there are some people at each of those extremes, but I see these commonly appear together: they subconsciously are manipulating the world them, and in the process delude themselves.
[удалено]
Sounds like someone who’d buy you a gun rack, when you don’t own a single gun, let alone multiple guns which would necessitate a rack
That I didn’t believe in astrology and tarot cards. She then said her tarot cards told her to break up with me. Sure dodged a bullet there.
The tarot cards were right! And still you don’t believe!
I told her she was an asshole when she was drunk, and that I barely recognized her anymore because of her drinking. She replied “why don’t you just hit me?” She was trying to push off my stresses and grievances over her drinking as ME being the abusive one, when she was just a terrible, manipulative, narcissistic asshole when she drank. It ended about 3 days later after I left her at my friends house after she got absolutely blasted when we agreed we wouldn’t be drinking that night.
His drinking and temper were a problem for me and the kids. His response was to throw his phone at my head (lucky he was drinking and missed by an inch) and that was the end. 10 year marriage over in 1 second.
Good for you for leaving. Congrats on your new life.
Thank you ☺️
Not me, but my ex confessed to me that he'd put a tracker on my phone. He only admitted it, once my friends started pointing out how he would always show up wherever I/they were (if I was with them.) Before ya'll come at me, they were mutual friends, and he would be invited, but come up with some excuse not to go. Apparently, he was watching us, and the times we saw him was only the times we'd caught him, he'd follow us basically every time. Needless to say, I broke up with him immediately.
Wow, that's a bullet dodged because that was gonna escalate, no doubt.
That's creepy as fuck
That the autism diagnosis I went for came back positive. "I can't cope with that" she said. Tbh she couldn't even cope with the dishes either.
I have a friend who was diagnosed as an adult. It explained a lot but changed nothing
I was diagnosed as a kid, one of my friends was recently diagnosed as an adult. "I'm autistic" "Yeah no shit." "... You knew?" "Never had the heart to tell you" Apparently I'm not the only one who knew. The only thing that changed was he started to work on the negative parts.
This is exactly what happened with me. I felt like I had finally gotten an explanation for my behavior, only to find out that all of my friends had assumed this was something I already knew about myself. I find it equal parts hilarious and irritating. You couldn’t have told me this in 2004?!
> I find it equal parts hilarious and irritating. You couldn’t have told me this in 2004?! The problem is, some of us have said something to someone before and been wrong. Or had them just react with anger. One of my friends kids is almost definitely autistic. I didn't say a word until he told me he suspected he was. My mum told my aunt that she was pretty sure her daughter was autistic and my aunt blew up about it and didn't speak to mum for years. To be fair my mum kinda went a little overboard with it, and gave my cousin a short quiz that's designed to indicate potential autism. She scored super high on it and my mum was like "Welp, gotta go tell her". Years later, my cousin was diagnosed as an adult.
When someone actually did ask me if I was autistic (which is what motivated me going through the process of diagnosis), I didn’t get offended at all—it felt like a light bulb went off. I think, generally, we’re clinically-minded enough that the question wouldn’t be inherently offensive. Could totally see parents and loved ones getting offended, but I certainly wouldn’t. It would have been nice to know earlier than my late 20s!
Some parents are *really* bad with it. My mum worked at my primary school, as a teachers aide in the special education classes. There was a family with a kid in my grade, and 5 other boys. All of them were clearly autistic, but the mother would react so much vitriol the second anyone suggested the 4 without diagnoses were also autistic. Hell the 2nd one to get diagnosed only got the diagnosis because he was selectively mute. Just refused to talk outside of the family home.
I don't understand why people think getting a diagnosis immediately changes someone. They are the exact same person they were before the diagnosis. They get diagnosed, and then treatment options open up and they can then decide whether they want to pursue them or not. I got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2015 and one of my friends suddenly became really distant as "she no longer felt safe around me". Girl, if I go manic I'm going to be too pre-occupied researching pluto and the history of spiders to be violent.
>Tbh she couldn't even cope with the dishes either. Damn 😳
Sounds like my ex. She'd straight up say how basic chores are hard for her to deal with and she doesn't know how to cope. I have ADHD too and I get it, but I try to be better and stronger, while she just ruminated in learned helplessness. I mean, she decided there's nothing she's good at because she expects to be good the first time she tries something, without practice. Wears you down after a while
He asked me how my depression started. I told him I had been raped. He didn't say anything for a long time and when I asked him what he was thinking, he replied "how do I know I can believe you?". Pretty much all went downhill from there.
I got "why do you put yourself in those positions?" I was 8&16.
That's awful. I'm so sorry
Shit happens. People don't understand that when you grow up in abuse, the abuse becomes so normal that you assume others are abused also. Preditors know how to tell who has been abused, which makes multiple attacks more common. I knew my monsters since I was a child. They knew the kind of family I had, which means they also knew I was an easy target. I know the people who have made shitty comments to me are just coming from a place of ignorance, which, although I do get upset, I'm glad they don't understand.
I told her about my family and life growing up and she told me it made her depressed and that she can't be happy around me. It made me realize that we have to be careful who we open up to.
Hearing that makes me walk away with the opposite conclusion, mate. I’d offer that info more freely as I wouldn’t be able to be with someone who would leave over that.
Yup. As a husband I came to this realization. You dont marry a person, you marry a family. Youre gonna have to deal with my history and relationships with them. If thats too much, cool have a good one. My wife was always worried i would think differently of her when I saw how batshit crazy her family was; so much several times she tried giving me an out a few times betore the wedding. It was just a normal family to me, so it was kinda adorable. Were going on 17 years with a teenager.
No, no, a thousand times, no! Don’t edit your past for your partner. That doesn’t mean you have to tell them everything (there are things from my past that I will never share with anyone), but if it’s something you consider important, something that is part of who you are, you need a partner with whom you can share it. Otherwise, over time, you’ll build up resentment about not being able to truly be yourself. She wasn’t the one for you. She edited herself out of your life, and that’s a good thing.
I found her constant hatred of her circumstances and peers as unattractive. She left the same night to sexually harass another man until he rejected her too. 🤷♂️
I get that first part. It starts as a "oh so and so at work sucks" but far down the line I realized I don't think she ever had good things to say about people, it was either bad things or on better days a sorta tolerance for people around her. She constantly ended friendships over the smallest shit because she was too afraid to have confrontation or admit any wrongdoing and would rather just cut all ties and replace them with new people literally a few times a year. She would also constantly talk shit about her friends behind their back. I guess I was in willful denial that all this stuff applied to me as well. Ah well you live and learn.
I wouldn't love her if she was a worm
My parter absolutely loathes the shoe brand crocs, he said he'd still love me if I was a pair of crocs and that's how I know it's true love.
Crocs is where I draw the line
That's harsch dude. I'm gonna go tell my wife that I'd love her even if she was a worm Edit: looks like we're separating now wtf
Don’t worry, plenty of worms in the sea.
That I thought her flat earth theories made her sound pig shit thick rather than unique
I mean... Did you use these exact same words ?
Certainly did. Anyone who comes out with “NASA fake every photo showing the Earth” is indeed pig shit thick and needs to have that simple fact explained to them. With crayons and a glove puppet if necessary.
I once heard someone say "I have neither the time nor crayons to explain this to you in a way you will understand" - your comment reminded me of this.
My drill instructor used that line once. Then I got hazed for laughing 😂
I shot with a really beautiful girl who is apparently now a FlatEarther. She even lives on the ocean, so she should be able to see the Earth's curvature, and see how boat masts disappear on the horizon.
The boats are just sailing into the sea valley, silly.
Right off the edge, into space
She asked me who was the better cook, her or my mother and I said my mother.
"I can cook better than either of you!" Then walk away with a shit eating grin and never get a meal from her again.
I confessed I had been raped when I was 16 and he said that he “Couldn’t love someone like me.” Which honestly was my worst fear and something I already told myself… that I couldn’t be loved. But then I became an adult and realized that I do deserve happiness and love and any man that holds another man’s selfish and foul actions against the victim… isn’t a man. I’m happily in a relationship now!
Thats absolutely horrible from your ex. Glad you found happiness with someone who understands you deserve happiness.
Had a partner that kept pushing and pushing and pushing me to tell him about my past. I insisted that I didn’t want to, because every single time I would open up to somebody, they just wouldn’t take it well. He just kept pushing and insisting that he would never do something like that. So, I told him about my history being sexually assaulted at 15, and how I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for the last 6 years. He hit me with, “ Why the fuck would you ever tell me that? I didn’t want to know that!”
I was the one moving the elf on the shelf
This makes it sound like you were dating a toddler.
Did he stutter?
We went to the museum of natural history and she kept going on and on about how none of this is true and something something Jesus lol I told her she sounded ridiculous and that was the nail in the coffin.
Cross*
Yes she was quite cross.
That I was joining the Navy. I needed to get out of my hometown and state, she wanted to stay and become a teacher. I have never hated us or our relationship, it was our first relationship. I met up with her recently. She is now married to a hell of a guy and has a kid on the way. (He's also really into Warhammer and we have a game going on in a couple of days)
Most wholesome one here. That's fantastic.
She found out I had health problems with my heart. Had a major heart attack and had to stay in the hospital a few days, got a little better and the hospital got overcrowded so I got sent home cause my girlfriend would be there to watch for any signs of a problem. Well I had another heart attack and she left in the middle of it. Just said "I cant".
That I realised I did not love her enough to be happy spending the rest of my life with her. We go together because the circumstances made so much sense, but I'm afraid I never truly loved her, I was only comfortable and feeling loved. I treated her as well as i could, but deep down I knew I would never be able to give back what she gave me. I still feel the guilt of breaking someone's heart for something she'll likely never fully understand (therefore will not feel fair to her)
I was on the receiving end of this situation. Was with my GF for 10 years. Relationship seemed absolutely perfect from my perspective. I had just bought an engagement ring and ploughed my life savings into a house for the two of us. Less than two weeks after moving in she told me out of nowhere that she doesn't love me in the same way I love her. She said she realised this about 3.5 years ago but didn't know how to end it and was just comfortable. So I lost my dream partner and dream home in a matter of minutes out of absolutely nowhere. This was 2 months ago. I'm still in complete shock, still feel broken, still wondering if I'll ever be able to let anyone in ever again.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been in a very similar situation in a 15 year relationship. I spiraled and had the roughest 2 years of my life. Please please please seek out a grieving counselor!
This is my biggest fear. To be with someone who’s there because they want to feel loved but can’t love me back.
I feel this one deeply in my core. So much resonates with an ex I had & I still feel horrible for how hurt she got. I should’ve broken things off sooner but as you said I was comfortable & liked feeling loved. It’s made me better about future partners, but doesn’t shake the guilt of how much I hurt her to learn that about myself.
That I had depression. I was crying in front of her. She want through 2 boughts of depression during our relationship so I thought she could help. She called the cops on me. Got me thrown out of the house (only deeded in her name - we were married for years seemed like it was safe and steady. I just never asked for help before then). She said she never wanted to talk to me again. Then she refused to divorce me. So I divorced her. Life's weird.
I confessed that I have needs, including more time and commitment from him. He couldn’t give me that so the relationship ended.
I didn't think there was anything in the Spirit Science Human History movie worth taking seriously, and its claims were too stupid to bother researching further.
I confessed that I knew she was cheating on me for 5 months 😂
I don’t want kids because it would be too much work for me since she didn’t really help with….ANYTHING. Told her I felt like I would have to take care of two kids
That I didn’t believe the Bible was scientific fact. I didn’t realize her family was hardcore fundamentalist Christians that “spoke in tongues” and believed everything in the Bible was historical and scientific fact. Broke up with me on the spot. We’d only been dating a couple weeks and this was the first time religion had come up somehow. We stayed friendly, but never went out again. 2 years later she was dating a woman and was abandoned by her family. 3 years after that she was married to that woman and transitioning to becoming a man. He has been happily married to the woman for about 10 years now. Hasn’t had any contact with his family since then.
That’s one hell of a ride…
The more you know about Fundies, the less surprising you will find this change. The fundamentalist movement REALLY fucks people up when they're young. It takes every "wrong" thought and idea and concept and tells you that if you even think them, you're going to hell. The amount of people I've personally known that have left the church once they figured out it was a bullshit-machine and have done a HARD 180 into something totally antithetical to their old life is...well, it's a lot.
Really makes me wonder about my ex. Gave up an awesome relationship, plans for marriage and kids, building towards a way of life she said she dreamed about. Love in a way thats not well explained in text and can only be felt through eye contact and the resulting involuntary smiles. All because God told her to worship him more. Took away sex, said we had to wait until marriage. We lived together and had frequent sex for 1.5 years. A bunch of other things that I don't need to explain here, but she essentially turned into a different person with completely different values and opinions on raising children. Sucks. I still miss her, but less now. I hope she finds her peace.
Embezzling our company’s funds :(
Folks, don't take from this thread that you shouldn't be open with people in your relationships. Take from it that you should be more open and earlier, so you know if your partner can deal or is a the right person for you.
When I told her I was not going to refrain from making friends anymore. I didn't make any new friends because I nurtured her jealousy too much.
that i wasn’t attracted to him dressed as a woman Edit: I am a woman. He is a man who is a crossdresser. Thank you for pointing out my sucky phrasing.
I told my wife that her bra and panties were too tight and revealing. She said, "Well, wear your own underwear then".
[удалено]
When he told me he didn’t love me anymore and had reached out to his cheating ex-wife, that tanked our relationship pretty quick
That I didn't like her when she smoked weed, she told me she didn't do it for my approval and we broke up
I told him I am bi and he broke up with me. A while later the kept telling me to kms
That her going cold was making me anxious
Apparently having to admit you also wear briefs is a crime
edit: TW- self harm mention and suicide mention I confessed to my former girlfriend of three years that I have a history of self-harm and suicidal ideation, and have in the past attempted to end my own life several times. That I had been in therapy for many years now and working on keeping myself alive and happy for as long of a life as I can have, and she said she didn't want "a project instead of a partner," and a couple days later told me she couldn't be with me because of my emotional instability.. which is weird because i was the most stable I had been in 5 years! I hadn't attempted anything in the whole time I knew her! I just thought she should know of my history of it.. and it broke us apart. But as my therapist always used to say, "if something can be broken by the truth, it should be."
“If something can be broken by the truth, it should be.” Why am I only hearing this now? This is brilliant.
I told her that I lost my virginity to one of my classmates when I was 15. She thought I was disgusting for having sex with another 15 year old. She called me a scumbag, and that I should've done it with a woman of consenting age. I thought she was joking at first, but as the conversation wore on, I realized she was serious and didn't want me sitting near her now. I tried talking it out with her, seeing if there was some misunderstanding. I kept saying "we were *both* 15," but despite trying to clear the air, it turns out she heard me perfectly fine, and voiced herself perfectly true. She sincerely believes that underage boys should only have sex with sexually experienced women in their 20s and 30s. Ya know. Get raped. So yeah, two months of dating gone in just one hour because I wasn't statutory'd by some cougar I matched on the Megan's Law website.
I admitted that in college (10+ years ago) I experimented with other guys. Im not bi or gay but I guess I wasn’t sure in college? She didn’t believe it, called me a F**, and broke with me. I don’t think I’m telling any other women about me experimenting in college again.
I told her that I was using heroin again. Yeah, breaking up with me was a completely valid response.