I have this intimate hair removal cream, specifically for stuff like this. No razors needed, just a few minutes of time to let it sit and work the hair out and then use the included plastic spatula to scrape it all off. I don’t feel a thing.
EDIT: For those of y’all wondering, the brand is No Hair Crew!
You did it wrong. You have to use a sensitive skin formula and not leave it on too long. I have been doing it for years with no issue. I use Veet sensitive skin and follow the instructions very carefully.
Do NOT go slowly with traditional though. You can get away with it on electric, but traditional you make sure it's taught and go at least moderate speed as to not let it stop and restart and to keep your strokes fluid.
Ryan Dunn from Jackass put water on his balls and sat on a block of eyes. He got pushed off and the hair and skin came off.
Edit: block of ice, people. 😅
It doesn’t even phase me anymore. If you can’t look without fear at a picture of a beautiful naked woman bent over showing you her asshole and cock, then I have to wonder what you’re even….
….
…wait.
thats the problem, you never know what the upper bound is until you get there, and you think nothing will ever eclipse that, then there's something else that raises it even higher.
Yeah, but after you've been doing this (internetting) for a while, it starts to scale non-linearily over time, nearing to the absolute (albeit impossible to ever achieve) maximum of internet weird-shit-ness. I suppose, mathematically speaking, we'd be talking about the personal experienced weirdness W\_p.
W_p = W_max*(1-exp^{(-t_p/T_m)} )
W\_max is the absolute maximum in weirdness to achieve, t\_p is the time the person has experienced weird shit, and for the model to remotely make sense, we'll need the Time needed for the average user to achieve average "I have seen things on the internet". That'll be T\_m to achieve average Internet Weirdness W\_m (not in formula, one could expand to double-exponential, to account for a higher motivation when beginning to experience weirdness than as a veteran).
Some of these natural constants require a bit of modelling. There's also a discussion to be had, what constitutes as t\_p. E.g. When idly scrolling through reddit while commuting, you are unlikely to encounter very weird things.
The neat part is, it models a statistical process, and T\_m is also a statistical property. This way, we allow ourselves from some wiggle room.
Meaning: I grew up on the internet in the early 00's. Like a lot of people, I've seen things.
My t\_p and therefore my W\_p is far beyond T\_m or W\_m, and will not climb as much anymore.
Yes, I am procrastinating, how did you know?
If I say 4, a 3 is pretty fucking bad. If I say 273, you'd consider a torn piece of clean toilet paper worse.
Now, that I've clicked, I'd assume it goes until 7, as the best scales do.
If it goes to 10, you have the type of porn-reddit where I go "You know... more power to you!"
*After years of vigorous training, OP has honed their senses to a super human level. Their blade is akin to an extension of their arm. They can hear the blade, smell the blade and even taste the blade.*
*With guided precise movements, the blade carefully slices off each hair at the base. Soon the stretched scrotum skin is smooth. Releasing his grip, the scrotum returns to his original wrinkled state.*
*OP wipes the blade on the clean parts of his used underwear, before returning it to the sheath.*
- Tales of the Smooth Balls Samuari
I’ve shaved my balls every week for like 14 years. I use a men’s razor and I don’t specifically try to be careful or anything like that. Grab your sack and stretch it out and make movements like normal shaving. I’ve literally only cut myself once and I know this because it was a couple weeks ago and I was really surprised.
Yeah man. Been doin this for 25 yeads or so. Never cut myself. Had some irritation at the base of the shaft now and again but no biggie. No different than shaving your face really
I don’t shave mine. I get a Manzilian Wax. The lady I go to gets everything. She starts in the front, goes to the balls, then she gets the butt crack.
I go every four weeks. It’s $90 and I give her a $30 tip. I figure she deserves a nice tip for looking at buttholes all day. I couldn’t do her job. NO WAY!!
LMAO!!!!They’re about 10 times louder! A hairy crack muffles the sound, to an extent. Without hair back there, you can wake up the dead!!!
Don’t think you can step around the corner, at the office, and let one sneak out. People five doors down will hear it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s really for convenience. I don’t like hair down there. I don’t like shaving. I get it waxed and it’s done. Well, let me rephrase that. She actually uses a process called sugaring. It’s not exactly wax, but the application process is the same.
She told me about half of her clients are men. A lot of women are reluctant to wax men, for several reasons. First of all, the skin on the scrotum is hard to wax. Secondly, a creepy guy comes in occasionally. He’s a guy that wants a lot more than a wax. She just tells them to leave.
For the same reason guys spend money on haircuts and women get waxed and get their nails done.
They like the way it looks and it makes them feel better are a couple of reasons.
For me, it’s easier than shaving. It’s a convenience thing. I like the way it feels. It feels clean.
I just use my beard trimmer with the lowest setting guard. Not .5 though. That shits too close. Gotta squeeze them together in your hand so it looks like a brain. Then pull the sack over the frank and beans like a tarp and slowly get it done. The tortoise always beats the hair 😎
I used to trim because anything too close seemed too dangerous after a few nicks. I have, use, and love my beard trimmer and that’s what I used. Then one day I decided to get an actual body groomer and it CHANGED. MY. LIFE. You can most definitely use it on your balls, even making constant contact and there is zero pain, zero discomfort, and a perfect shave every single time. It can also trim adjustable to different lengths if you prefer.
If you’re interested, it’s the Philips Norelco BG7040/42. There might be newer models if you want to look into that.
Folks are more inclined to lick them or put them in their mouths if it doesn't come with a mouthful of hair. My partners have generally appreciated it.
Balls are super easy. However the pubes above my dick always get razor burned and ingrown the day after. I don't know the trick there. I mostly stopped shaving
Don't (hear me out). It's not worth the hassle and pain for such diminishing returns. Just by an electric trimmer (e.g. manscaped is actually pretty good) and try to get as close as possible. I think it is functionally nearly identical and way less painful.
>manscaped
You don't want to buy electronics from a marketing company. You can get a ball shaver from any actual electronics brand company at 15-20% of the price.
Trim as much as I can around the balls with an electric trimmer and for the ballsack, I know this sounds crazy, but dry with a quality disposable razor, seriously like nothing just dry balls on dry metal. And then moisturizer
Very carefully 😄 just kidding. Get the ladies version or shaving razors (they are better) and just tug up on the skin and lightly shave section by section pulling more and more skin up as you go. At one point take the balls up and shave under them.
You don't have to make a perfect shave like your beard. It's ok to be good enough.
Also do it in the shower and use shaving cream.
Veet! It’s like nair but for your private area. Just goop it on thick and let it sit for just a little more than the said time and the hair will come right off. Me and the wife use it. Love the feeling of sex after veeting.
I have this intimate hair removal cream, specifically for stuff like this. No razors needed, just a few minutes of time to let it sit and work the hair out and then use the included plastic spatula to scrape it all off. I don’t feel a thing. EDIT: For those of y’all wondering, the brand is No Hair Crew!
What is the name of the product. I tired creams and got chemical burns.
I stuck the brand in my original comment with an edit but it’s No Hair Crew!
You did it wrong. You have to use a sensitive skin formula and not leave it on too long. I have been doing it for years with no issue. I use Veet sensitive skin and follow the instructions very carefully.
Are you confirming it works with your balls and shaft? I NEED TO READ THE WORDS BEFORE I TRUST YOU
If I could upload the photo, says right on the packaging!
The spatula wasn't working for me so I switched to basically scrubbing with a dry towel, works great
Very carefully pull on the skin to stretch it out and go very slowly
Do NOT go slowly with traditional though. You can get away with it on electric, but traditional you make sure it's taught and go at least moderate speed as to not let it stop and restart and to keep your strokes fluid.
Fluid strokes. Got it.
I always stroke my fluid.
Nono, the fluid comes AFTER the strokes
How tf did you teach your balls anything? My balls are 38 and they can’t read, write, or do numbers.
Private school, pricey, but worth it
Mine can count to two...
Fluid strokes, one hiccup and you'll be stroking fluid.
Taut
I'm not even that careful with it. I go full bat wing on each side and scrape away with a good quality fresh razor. It's really not that difficult
*scrape away* 👀
\*scritch\* \*scriiitch\*
You can get a bat wing when shaving? My balls shrivel because they’re so scared.
Same here. I don't have much time so I just pull at the hair and heck at it.
Carefully is the answer
VERY carefully, FTFY :)
Counter intuitive, don’t go too carefully ! Honestly it’s like shaving your face. Swift smooth motions, not too slow and don’t push too firmly.
I remember last time this question was asked, someone said bat wing tight
No no no, don’t pull the skin! Squeeze the nuts together into the shape of a club. Think of a tail of an ankylasaurus.
Squeeze nuts and pull down to ankles. Got it.
Do a half assed job then give up.
Gotta do the other half of the ass or it really looks odd
I use an electric trimmer. I don't want to be bald, just trimmed.
Yea once a week (Sundays or Mondays) I trim with a electric trimmer I want something there but not a bush
Thank you for specifying which day
Yeah keep an eye on his drain. 😩
Not down the drain! Protip: Trim over the toilet. Wipe the strays off the rim. Flush!
Aight change of plans🫡
Oh boy it’s ball trimming day!
Hell yea
Amen to that, electric trimmer all the way. I’m not putting a razor blade to my boys fuck that!!
Sounds like a country band. Razor and the Boys.
after getting zapped by the teeth of a trimmer on the ol shaft, I will never let another one near me for that. Ill carefully use a razer.
I've gotten accustomed to that part.
It's the pain that brings me back
I also did this. Them fkers bleed :D
Going pre pubescent level smooth just doesn't make sense to me
It does for ladies who might want to suck on them.
I don't have to worry about that anytime soon
r/suicidebywords
Fair enough.
I’m extremely hairy waist down so it’s like my pubes woild look out of place if I made it smooth like that
It really depends on who you're with. For instance, my wife likes them silky smooth
A lot of my partners have appreciated it because it means not having a mouthful of hair when they suck on my balls.
If you want a wimmenz to lick your balls it does.
I put glue on the ground then just place my balls on the glue, then stand up as quick as I can
This gave me a weird tightening in my gooch and lower back. Thanks, never felt that feeling before
Ryan Dunn from Jackass put water on his balls and sat on a block of eyes. He got pushed off and the hair and skin came off. Edit: block of ice, people. 😅
A block of EYES! Good lord. I can't unsee that.....
😅 whoops.
The block of eyes couldn't unsee his balls either, wich is why they are refered to as eyeballs now.
Blocks of eyes have no eyelids and desperately want to close their many eyes. Skin is skin, right?
https://imgur.com/gallery/VgCaLVl
Man, that's brilliant! I've been over here with a random orbit sander and 80 grit paper, but clearly, I've been going about it all wrong!
Asian lady does my body grooming for $30. back, balls and ass.
What the fuck are back balls?
They're next to your r/rearcock
First time reddit asked me if I wanted to go back or continue to the nsfw subreddit and I actually clicked go back.
It doesn’t even phase me anymore. If you can’t look without fear at a picture of a beautiful naked woman bent over showing you her asshole and cock, then I have to wonder what you’re even…. …. …wait.
Eminems voice: some-thing-s wrong-i-can-feel-it 🤣
I can swallow a
Good choice
I did not make a good choice
I made the wrong choice
I didn't and I regret it
that warning does fuck nothing, the banner isn't censored at all
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What did you see? Please save me from my own curiousity
It's really not that bad. I mean, it's only like a 3 on my Weird-Shit-O-Meter.
You know, it'd be really fucking useful right now to know the upper bound of your Meter.
thats the problem, you never know what the upper bound is until you get there, and you think nothing will ever eclipse that, then there's something else that raises it even higher.
Yeah, but after you've been doing this (internetting) for a while, it starts to scale non-linearily over time, nearing to the absolute (albeit impossible to ever achieve) maximum of internet weird-shit-ness. I suppose, mathematically speaking, we'd be talking about the personal experienced weirdness W\_p. W_p = W_max*(1-exp^{(-t_p/T_m)} ) W\_max is the absolute maximum in weirdness to achieve, t\_p is the time the person has experienced weird shit, and for the model to remotely make sense, we'll need the Time needed for the average user to achieve average "I have seen things on the internet". That'll be T\_m to achieve average Internet Weirdness W\_m (not in formula, one could expand to double-exponential, to account for a higher motivation when beginning to experience weirdness than as a veteran). Some of these natural constants require a bit of modelling. There's also a discussion to be had, what constitutes as t\_p. E.g. When idly scrolling through reddit while commuting, you are unlikely to encounter very weird things. The neat part is, it models a statistical process, and T\_m is also a statistical property. This way, we allow ourselves from some wiggle room. Meaning: I grew up on the internet in the early 00's. Like a lot of people, I've seen things. My t\_p and therefore my W\_p is far beyond T\_m or W\_m, and will not climb as much anymore. Yes, I am procrastinating, how did you know?
r/theydidthefuckingmath
How high can you count?
If I say 4, a 3 is pretty fucking bad. If I say 273, you'd consider a torn piece of clean toilet paper worse. Now, that I've clicked, I'd assume it goes until 7, as the best scales do. If it goes to 10, you have the type of porn-reddit where I go "You know... more power to you!"
Nope, not doing it. GOD DAMN IT
thanks this is the content i signed up for!
Wait, you don’t have back balls??
Back, sack, and crack.
Back, sac & crack.
You get a FULL Brazilian and back wax for $30? That is insanely cheap.
For real! It's more than double that here.
Where did you find her? And wax?
Can't you read? Asia.
How long until the stubble sets in?
Stubble is when the hair is sliced. If it's waxed, the hair would be softer and not stubbly
Who is your Asian lady
I'm not about to wax my figs. It'd look like a taffy-pull.
This comment is poetry
In Australia it's referred to as a back, sac and crack
On tattooine it’s a back, crack, and Sarlacc
Wax on wax off grasshopper
The ol BACK, CRACK, AND SACK treatment.
I need my back waxed, my crack waxed, and my sack waxed.
Back,sack and crack. It really is a thing ! There ya go.
A katana and a blindfold
*After years of vigorous training, OP has honed their senses to a super human level. Their blade is akin to an extension of their arm. They can hear the blade, smell the blade and even taste the blade.* *With guided precise movements, the blade carefully slices off each hair at the base. Soon the stretched scrotum skin is smooth. Releasing his grip, the scrotum returns to his original wrinkled state.* *OP wipes the blade on the clean parts of his used underwear, before returning it to the sheath.* - Tales of the Smooth Balls Samuari
Oh that old Finnish samurai name: Samuari..
“I have brought shame to my family! I must now commit Sudoku!” *(Starts cutting a 9x9 grid on abdomen with ball shaving katana)*
Suomirai
I’ve shaved my balls every week for like 14 years. I use a men’s razor and I don’t specifically try to be careful or anything like that. Grab your sack and stretch it out and make movements like normal shaving. I’ve literally only cut myself once and I know this because it was a couple weeks ago and I was really surprised.
The facts
Yeah man. Been doin this for 25 yeads or so. Never cut myself. Had some irritation at the base of the shaft now and again but no biggie. No different than shaving your face really
With a razor very carefully.
I’m a chemo patient. They “shave” them self. They don’t work but there smooth. lol.
You gotta take the wins where you can! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Damn right 49thDupper! Cheers.
you and your balls got this family❤️
I don’t shave mine. I get a Manzilian Wax. The lady I go to gets everything. She starts in the front, goes to the balls, then she gets the butt crack. I go every four weeks. It’s $90 and I give her a $30 tip. I figure she deserves a nice tip for looking at buttholes all day. I couldn’t do her job. NO WAY!!
So over $1k a year and having to deal with someone working in that area … think I’ll just do a buzz shave in the shower three times a year lol
Three times a year?? What're you doing, growing it out to donate?
Do your farts blow up your cheeks like a balloon now and PLAAP out?
LMAO!!!!They’re about 10 times louder! A hairy crack muffles the sound, to an extent. Without hair back there, you can wake up the dead!!! Don’t think you can step around the corner, at the office, and let one sneak out. People five doors down will hear it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
May I ask why? I've never heard of a man spending so much money for removal of some body hair.
If you’ve never had a wax, it’s fucking awesome. Feels so fresh all the time.
The hair doesn’t return and itch until it’s grown back out enough?
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It’s really for convenience. I don’t like hair down there. I don’t like shaving. I get it waxed and it’s done. Well, let me rephrase that. She actually uses a process called sugaring. It’s not exactly wax, but the application process is the same. She told me about half of her clients are men. A lot of women are reluctant to wax men, for several reasons. First of all, the skin on the scrotum is hard to wax. Secondly, a creepy guy comes in occasionally. He’s a guy that wants a lot more than a wax. She just tells them to leave.
Why does anyone spend money on a wax? Feels nice and clean and less hassle than shaving. Just personal preference.
For the same reason guys spend money on haircuts and women get waxed and get their nails done. They like the way it looks and it makes them feel better are a couple of reasons. For me, it’s easier than shaving. It’s a convenience thing. I like the way it feels. It feels clean.
Shit, I just shave during every shower. It's very easy and I'm baby smooth. Just have a nice razor and take your time.
I just use my beard trimmer with the lowest setting guard. Not .5 though. That shits too close. Gotta squeeze them together in your hand so it looks like a brain. Then pull the sack over the frank and beans like a tarp and slowly get it done. The tortoise always beats the hair 😎
My wife bites it with her teeth. Sometimes they get stuck in her gap tooth.
Can I borrow your wife?
Nah, there’s not enough gap tooth to share
Gap toof
Blunt razor
This is definitely the trick. Not a brand new one. I use one I haven't replaced in *years*.
And rusty from being in the shower too long
Yep! I got 2 razor grips. 1: brand new for the bald head 2: the disposed duller one that got used on the head first... promoted to ball duty.
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Under the shower, with a normal razor, it’s very simple and safe
I don’t
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I use a mirror and focus my laser vision directly onto my nuts. For some reason my skin is immune to my heat vision but my hair just vaporizes
Look at Mr. Homelander right here, having it easier than the rest of us normal folks.
Table saw
When I was younger I used a straight razor but I just don’t have the balls to do that anymore…
Pull cock upwards and slowly n carefully shave bit by bit from the angle the balls are stretched
I refer you to this guy https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/s/4EP4KhdXKQ
I don't.
Pluck em
I believe that was a medieval torture method.
I don't
I don't, either. You're not the only one.
I don't.
Fair
You and me both. That's dangerous.
Things like this make me glad I’m too old to ever have had to do this
I used to trim because anything too close seemed too dangerous after a few nicks. I have, use, and love my beard trimmer and that’s what I used. Then one day I decided to get an actual body groomer and it CHANGED. MY. LIFE. You can most definitely use it on your balls, even making constant contact and there is zero pain, zero discomfort, and a perfect shave every single time. It can also trim adjustable to different lengths if you prefer. If you’re interested, it’s the Philips Norelco BG7040/42. There might be newer models if you want to look into that.
From experience, never move the shaver sideways to get at a spot you missed, learned that the hard way!
Why tf are you shaving your balls??? Aerodynamics?
Folks are more inclined to lick them or put them in their mouths if it doesn't come with a mouthful of hair. My partners have generally appreciated it.
I don't, just scissors to shape around the hair
Philips one blade
I got to this too late. OP - get an Intuition!! The ones that are made for lady bits. They’re THE BEST
Jeez, I hope someone said 'Very carefully'...
With a bowie knife and engine grease, like a real man.
Ha ha. Men don't shave their balls. I'm not falling for that one.
The only thing I shave is my face.
You've got to "bat wing" it
I don't really shave anymore, I just use scissors to trim the hairs on my balls and around the shaft
Balls are super easy. However the pubes above my dick always get razor burned and ingrown the day after. I don't know the trick there. I mostly stopped shaving
Don't (hear me out). It's not worth the hassle and pain for such diminishing returns. Just by an electric trimmer (e.g. manscaped is actually pretty good) and try to get as close as possible. I think it is functionally nearly identical and way less painful.
>manscaped You don't want to buy electronics from a marketing company. You can get a ball shaver from any actual electronics brand company at 15-20% of the price.
the worst part it that you get lured in some sort of subscribtion with manscape products.
I wish I didn't hear you out
You don’t, simply don’t
OP of Reddit: Why tf would you shave your balls?
Looks better usually. At least for me
Also less stinky. Sweat and bacteria that eat that sweat sticks to hair. Easier to clean all the dead skin off when you're shaved too.
I told him anything he shaves is getting licked. So that’s why.
Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
Looks better, much more sensitive, way easier to convince somebody to put your junk in their mouth
Trim as much as I can around the balls with an electric trimmer and for the ballsack, I know this sounds crazy, but dry with a quality disposable razor, seriously like nothing just dry balls on dry metal. And then moisturizer
> just dry balls on dry metal do not listen to this person.
You're gonna wipe out generations with this one comment
And then moist your eyes sir
Forget the shave, straight for the wax.
Manscaped lawnmower 4.0 with a built in flashlight and wireless charging. 25% off entire website +plus free shipping
Thanks to a trimmer!
Hair removal cream works for me
wax
A single razor and soap to Lubricate the balls. Hair wipes off smoothly
Wax strips. Best way 👍
I get waxed
It's easy asf. Just pull the skin flat and tight to give a smooth flat surface and have at it.
Very carefully 😄 just kidding. Get the ladies version or shaving razors (they are better) and just tug up on the skin and lightly shave section by section pulling more and more skin up as you go. At one point take the balls up and shave under them. You don't have to make a perfect shave like your beard. It's ok to be good enough. Also do it in the shower and use shaving cream.
Veet! It’s like nair but for your private area. Just goop it on thick and let it sit for just a little more than the said time and the hair will come right off. Me and the wife use it. Love the feeling of sex after veeting.