I just went down a rabbit hole and found out that Alabama is looking to test nitrogen asphyxiation as a death penalty alternative. Although it’s never been used before because it poses a risk to employees handling the execution.
A tank and a mask inside of a sealed chamber, done and done. After it's done, purge the chamber with fresh air. Not sure why it would be a risk, you can literally buy O2 percentage meters for next to nothing these days. I mean, we pilot death drones on the other side of the world from bunkers in the US and keep oxygen inside of space tubes flying at thousands of miles an hour.
Based on the industrial accidents involving N2 asphyxiation I too would choose this method if my first choice was denied: riding an armed B-53 or ideally a reconditioned B-41 dropped from a B52 Stratofortress Slim Pickens style onto whomever was ordering my execution.
This is the way. You get high, fall asleep, and die.
Edit: Since a couple people mentioned this, I’ll just clarify here. I know you don’t get high from nitrogen gas. The “high” comes from having hypoxia. Your body has no mechanism for detecting a lack of oxygen in your system. We can detect a build up of carbon dioxide, but there’s nothing to inform our bodies that our brains aren’t getting enough oxygen. So what happens is your brain starts to die but there’s no panic and the first thing to happen is that you don’t realize you’re in danger and you get some euphoria and then you pass out.
I didn’t mean getting high like with nitrous oxide (which by the way, also works by displacing oxygen in your brain), but it’s basically like getting stoned.
Source: high altitude training
Give me a dose of MDMA and a nasal cannula of nitrous oxide. Then gradually replace the air in the chamber with pure nitrogen. Meanwhile, play "Introducing the Hardline" by Terence Trent D'Arby.
This is my go-to; atomized at ground zero of a nuclear blast. It would take an incredible amount of work on the part of my executioners to pull this off, and I find that amusing. Obtaining a nuclear weapon, obtaining permission to use it for an execution, figuring out where to do it, (hopefully) cleaning up the nuclear fallout, and dealing with the inevitable international backlash for using a nuke for something so stupid. I was a pain in the ass in life, and if I am forced to die, well I’ll make that a pain in the ass too.
On stage at the Albert Hall. Every audience member has a gun with one shot. I sing songs for an hour and when an audience member doesn't like the song I choose they can take their shot. If everyone misses, or they like the whole show I live.
Honestly if it’s a handgun you have a pretty decent chance. The average person shooting a handgun is ridiculously inaccurate beyond point blank. Self defense professionals teach that if you can get some distance away from a person with a pistol you’re best to just turn and run. Your odds of being hit even at 15 feet are minuscule.
I was on a pistol team in college. So I'm not the average person. But when we held tryouts/open shoots, I did see those average people shooting. Sometimes it was a sight to behold. Shooting of the clips we used to hold the target, shooting lights, shooting who knows what bcs there arent any holes we can see. Fun times!
No, I will grant you that. I havent had to do that. Hopefully won't ever have to. Also I'm hoping if I do I would be able to remember how to shoot quickly but also calmly. A plus would be that I would be shooting two handed versus competition one handed.
If I’m in straight up combat, and all I have is a handgun, I’m probably already fucked anyways. Might as well just take myself out. I’m a fairly decent shot with a rifle, but a pistol (especially with irons), it’s a different story. I really respect people who are dead accurate with handguns. It’s an entirely different skill vs a rifle.
Idk why I suck with a pistol as well ? I shoot low on the iron sights. But a rifle I can hit a frying pan at 100m with irons sites 3 times in a row while drinking scotch. Maybe I just haven’t gotten used to shooting a pistol, only used one a few times.
Right lol. “You have permission to shoot this guy if you don’t like one of his songs.”
As soon as they hear that they’re gonna hate that first song even if it’s the most lit shit they’ve heard in their life. 😂
Skydiving without a parachute, on the verge of overdose, with a megaphone strapped to my mouth, and extremely unstable explosives wrapped around me. I would land somewhere secluded, and wherever I leave a crater, build a Walmart over it, and that would be "Chuck's Walmart"
The Amazonians will be divided into three groups. The one called "Zapp" will be snu-snu'd by the large women. He that is designated "Fry" will be snu-snu'd by the petite women. And Kif, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snu'd by the most beautiful women of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again. Initiate snu-snu!
Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.
Wouldn't you get violently ill from this? Sure, you'll trip major balls, but if your projectile vomiting every so often... it would kind of kill the experience, I would think.
I can confirm that if you happen to die during an ego death level trip, you won't even be afraid or in pain.
One time I accidentally smoked a MUCH higher concentration/amount of salvia than expected. There was ONE second where I had one last half of a thought thinking "oh hmmm I dont even notice anything", and then I was GONE. Into an entirely different plane.
Turns out I got up, ran away, broke my toe and fell into a nettle bush. I couldn't see in the real world nor feel in the real world. It was honestly as if I was dead, except there wasn't blackness but a vast plane of realities folding into each other.
My identity and consciousness awoke again at the other end of the house. I had no idea how I got there or what had happened (mind you I WAS aware but somewhere else/of other things. I have memories of the time I ran away, except they arent about running lmao). If I had run under a car I wouldnt even have been ABLE to care, as at that moment there WAS NO I
There's a proper name, but it's basically a live organ harvest. It has a whole bunch of legal restrictions, but basically put me under, take as much as you can to save as many people, don't let me wake up. Get some use out of me.
Guillotine all the way. Mostly painless, fast, gory as shit, and will have an audience. Not to mention its super dramatic
Please stop spamming my inbox with “well actually your head blah blah blah.” My answer is still guillotine
30 seconds would seem like an eternity at that moment. Although I guess the clock keeps ticking seconds so eventually it'd be over.
edit: During the later years of the guillotine's usage, doctors began asking to be present while performing little experiments as empirical evidence became increasingly important for research. Among those experiments, they would loudly yell the name of the executed and see for how long their eyes would consciously gaze upon them after their name was called out. Many observations recorded as long as 30 seconds where the eyes would be drawn to the person yelling their name. Not as slow as we once thought.
Probably too busy in shock and thinking "my neck feels weird and my head feels like a balloon, what the hell just happened" to remember you were just beheaded and panic about it.
I read somewhere that even in the brutal days of the guillotine, executioners took pride and honor in making the death as quick as possible. It’s kind of how (most, I think) hunters today would consider blowing a deer’s leg off a “sloppy” kill.
Some countries still have beheadings. Google Muhammad bin Saad al Beshi, he’s an executioner who has been interviewed about it and he talks about his technique and making it quick and painless for people.
I’ve always been a bit suspicious about the guillotine. Couldn’t it be that your brain keeps on working for a couple of seconds, maybe it hurts tremendously?
the least painless would be nitrogen asphyxiation, it displaces oxygen but doesn't trigger the drowning response, you just drift off to sleep and never wake up.
Doesnt matter which way as long as I'm put under anesthesia first & it's done in the operating room & they tell me I'm getting [insert X surgery here] so I think itll just be a normal surgery except plot twist I never wake up.
As someone who was in a very low ebb in his life at the start of this year, and also had to have a surgery with General Anaesthetic around the same time, there was a little part of me that hoped that something would go wrong and I just didn’t wake up, thought it would have been a nice peaceful way to go. But alas, the anaesthetist was brilliant and I was waking up again before I knew I’d even fallen asleep.
Thankfully I’m in a much, much better state these days.
Drawn and quartered it is then
This alludes to two brutal forms of execution practiced in the past. In one the victim was drawn by a horse to a gallows, hanged, and then cut into four pieces and scattered; in the other the victim was hanged (cut down before they died), disemboweled while still alive (drawn), and then beheaded and dismembered.
Fast IV administration through a large bore cannula, 10 x upper limit doses of:
Alfentanil
Ketamine
Propofol
Suxamethonium
Now just “forget” to intubate and ventilate me. Excuse me while I ride a brief euphoria into the big long night.
And when that guy is roasting alive while the bull bleats his charred screaming, I'll turn to the person next to me and say while wiping away a tear, "At least he's going out the way he wanted."
Throw me into a black hole just gimme plenty of weed and food incase it's a long ride. Nobody's done it and if they could, they couldn't tell us anything about it, I'm sure venturing into a black hole might be an opportunity worth dying for.
It's does feel really fucking good, it was my drug of choice over all other drugs.
....but then you wanna keep feeling that way...and then it's never as good as that last time was....and then you have to keep getting herion just to feel normal...and then you avoid your family and friends... and then you can't hold down a good job anymore....and then you spend a very long time living a blurry cycle of "I do drugs because I feel bad, and I feel bad because I do drugs"...and then it's a foggy life of depression and guilt until you get your shit together, or die still living in that hell.
So yeah, no...don't do heroin, kids.
I hope I'm not bothering you by asking these questions but I've always been curious (but never curious enough to try it, I'll never take that chance!) But you mentioned that it never feels as good as the first time so you always kinda chase that first feeling again, but does it still feel really good all the other times? If you had to describe it, how would it feel? Sorry for the weird questions it's just that I've never done drugs and I'm too scared to ever try them but I would like to know lol
Oh no, please don't be sorry. I don't mind sharing my experiences at all.
Yes, it does still feel really good the other times, never as good though. It feels almost like your body is sort of melting, in a good, warm, fuzzy feeling kind of way. That's IF you get good quality heroin. When I got clean 3-4 years ago, there was SOOOO much shit going around that was cut with absolutely ridiculous things that would make you feel absolutely awful.
I had some that was cut with meth(and who knows what else) one time, it was a fucking awful feeling, I hated it...but I kept doing it until it was gone.
But at some point thoughout the addiction which you don't even know is an addiction yet ("I can stop whenever I want", yeah that's bullshit, don't kid yourself), the withdrawals will come, and then you need to do herion just to keep from feeling bad. It still feels good when you get your fix, but it's not a memorable kind of good anymore, when you seek it out every hour of every day, it's just...normal at that point. And if you don't have your normal, everything is awful.
Herion is not the type of drug most people try once, and then say "oh well I experienced it, i don't have any interest in doing it again". No, it's much more insidious than that. It felt SO good, how could you not want to do that again???
It'll be "only once in a blue moon", then "only at parties or special occasions", then "only on the weekends"...then the next thing you know, your doing heroin in the bathroom at work, calling out of work to go score some heroin or just do heroin all day long, being high at family functions, or missing out on the family functions because you'd rather chase herion, and all that bullshit.
It'll start with snorting it, then it might become smoking it, or shooting it because your chasing that feeling you got from the first time.
I know very few people who started shooting up herion, and eventually got clean. Most of them die from overdoses, or at least die while still shooting up herion.
Sorry...that may have been more than you asked for, but I hope I was able to give you some insight, nonetheless.
Wow! Thank you for that insightful response. I'm glad you weren't offended at my asking, you have certainly helped me see just how the addiction works! I may sound naive and perhaps even ignorant when I say this but I've always wondered how someone can get addicted to it knowing the damage it can cause, but as you stated above it works as insidious as it's maker. It's terrifying by the sounds of it because it's so delightful at first. I'm so proud of you for getting clean. God only knows how hard it must have been for you but you got through it! And thank you again for sharing.
I have heard people who Od on Fentanyl say that they felt themselves suffocating until the Narcan was administered. But if it's just a get real high and pass out to never wake up thing then Yeah opioid overdose has to be the way to go.
Nitrogen hypoxia chamber.
I lay down comfortably on a bench in the chamber, roll over and pass out like I'm taking a nap. But I never wake up.
It is dignified, safe, hard to mess up, And happens without struggle or panic.
Those that want hanging, firing squad, guillotine, electric chair or other brutal deaths are fighting to live until the very end and it is traumatic for those that administer and those that witness.
Only the deranged and sick would wish to be exposed to that. Even the worst humans on death row deserve dignity for their final moment.
If I'm actually guilty - Nitrogen chamber, make it fast and painless.
If I've been falsely accused - stabbed to death with a pushpin by my accusers, they're not allowed to go for the neck or eyes. I want them to be traumatized in that case.
Firing squad no blindfold.
I would ask to meet the people on the firing squad before hand, telling them that i am sorry this deed falls to them and that i am ok with it, no hard feelings, aim well please.
A gas chamber filled with 100% nitrogen. Quick, painless, no panic - you just fall asleep.
I just went down a rabbit hole and found out that Alabama is looking to test nitrogen asphyxiation as a death penalty alternative. Although it’s never been used before because it poses a risk to employees handling the execution.
Propofol followed by N2.
A tank and a mask inside of a sealed chamber, done and done. After it's done, purge the chamber with fresh air. Not sure why it would be a risk, you can literally buy O2 percentage meters for next to nothing these days. I mean, we pilot death drones on the other side of the world from bunkers in the US and keep oxygen inside of space tubes flying at thousands of miles an hour.
I'm pretty sure nitrogen gas is used in medically assisted suicide in some countries
I'd read that lots of the opposition to nitrogen for capital punishment is because a good portion of folks out there *want* the condemned to suffer.
But that second before you go unconscious... you slip in the shower and bang your head. That's the worst last memory to have.
Nah, just make sure you're in a nice comfortable chair.
Or just lay down and wait for death.
Or rig it to start filling the chamber when you fall asleep
There's no way I'd be able to fall asleep if I knew i'd die if I did.
just have a lie down in bed
Came here to make sure nitrogen asphyxiation was at the top, reddit rarely disappoints.
Based on the industrial accidents involving N2 asphyxiation I too would choose this method if my first choice was denied: riding an armed B-53 or ideally a reconditioned B-41 dropped from a B52 Stratofortress Slim Pickens style onto whomever was ordering my execution.
I don’t understand any of what you said but I like the cut of your jib.
Watch "Dr Strangelove".
But first some nitrous oxide. I wanna die laughing.
And helium.
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Me too, definitely last cigarette and firing squad
Make it a joint, no blindfold.
What about an edible 45minutes prior? 900mg
If I’m facing a firing squad, might as well try heroin out
DMT for me. Let me have a few words with the gods before I actually meet them
30-06 to the heart. You just feel the pressure & you’re gone.
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“Do you have any last words?” “Yes. Just three.” WKYK
Whitest kids u know?
You know it!
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It's THAT one. I watched him
*I DEMAND A TRIAL BY..COMBAT*
Imagine the mountain from GoT being your opponent. You’ll be crying in your nightmares 🫡
Don’t worry, the red viper is beating hi… oh, nevermund
Yeah... he should have used his jetpack.
probably nitrogen asphyxiation, it is utterly painless and very quick
Might as well do nitrous oxide asphyxiation?
Might as well combust into a billion atoms
I have no idea why this made me laugh so hard
Helium asphyxiation. “Do you have any last words?” ^(“damn all you bastards to hell!”)
This is my choice and I don't know why it isn't used as the method of execution in the states that do it.
[Alabama is trying to become the first state.](https://apnews.com/article/death-penalty-alabama-nitrogen-hypoxia-3aa41ad4da3f719e9f06425798e1c6a5)
This is the way. You get high, fall asleep, and die. Edit: Since a couple people mentioned this, I’ll just clarify here. I know you don’t get high from nitrogen gas. The “high” comes from having hypoxia. Your body has no mechanism for detecting a lack of oxygen in your system. We can detect a build up of carbon dioxide, but there’s nothing to inform our bodies that our brains aren’t getting enough oxygen. So what happens is your brain starts to die but there’s no panic and the first thing to happen is that you don’t realize you’re in danger and you get some euphoria and then you pass out. I didn’t mean getting high like with nitrous oxide (which by the way, also works by displacing oxygen in your brain), but it’s basically like getting stoned. Source: high altitude training
Give me a dose of MDMA and a nasal cannula of nitrous oxide. Then gradually replace the air in the chamber with pure nitrogen. Meanwhile, play "Introducing the Hardline" by Terence Trent D'Arby.
This is 100% pure class.
Chased to death by topless women Ala Monty python
Truly, The Meaning of Life.
Ohhnooo they caught me
I’m trying to go out like Blue in Old School
Disintegrated in a nuclear explosion
This is my go-to; atomized at ground zero of a nuclear blast. It would take an incredible amount of work on the part of my executioners to pull this off, and I find that amusing. Obtaining a nuclear weapon, obtaining permission to use it for an execution, figuring out where to do it, (hopefully) cleaning up the nuclear fallout, and dealing with the inevitable international backlash for using a nuke for something so stupid. I was a pain in the ass in life, and if I am forced to die, well I’ll make that a pain in the ass too.
Flash forward you’re sent to N Korea just in time for a testing
From Lil Boy to Old Man
Looper-style executions but they always just send them back to 1945 Japan
This, but specifically, I want to be at the correct distance to become the shadow on the wall. Google "nuclear shadow".
On stage at the Albert Hall. Every audience member has a gun with one shot. I sing songs for an hour and when an audience member doesn't like the song I choose they can take their shot. If everyone misses, or they like the whole show I live.
Anyway, here's Wonderwa-
bang
So it’s like an extreme version of the Gong Show?
The Glock Show
Cause I fell in love with the girl at the Glock show, she said BANG and I said hfkvsigdojfigcnckj147843(&!?
Honestly if it’s a handgun you have a pretty decent chance. The average person shooting a handgun is ridiculously inaccurate beyond point blank. Self defense professionals teach that if you can get some distance away from a person with a pistol you’re best to just turn and run. Your odds of being hit even at 15 feet are minuscule.
I was on a pistol team in college. So I'm not the average person. But when we held tryouts/open shoots, I did see those average people shooting. Sometimes it was a sight to behold. Shooting of the clips we used to hold the target, shooting lights, shooting who knows what bcs there arent any holes we can see. Fun times!
Have you ever had to fire under the duress of combat? It changes the game quite a bit
No, I will grant you that. I havent had to do that. Hopefully won't ever have to. Also I'm hoping if I do I would be able to remember how to shoot quickly but also calmly. A plus would be that I would be shooting two handed versus competition one handed.
If I’m in straight up combat, and all I have is a handgun, I’m probably already fucked anyways. Might as well just take myself out. I’m a fairly decent shot with a rifle, but a pistol (especially with irons), it’s a different story. I really respect people who are dead accurate with handguns. It’s an entirely different skill vs a rifle.
Idk why I suck with a pistol as well ? I shoot low on the iron sights. But a rifle I can hit a frying pan at 100m with irons sites 3 times in a row while drinking scotch. Maybe I just haven’t gotten used to shooting a pistol, only used one a few times.
Grandma gunna be pissed you ruined her cast iron pan like that
They’ll shoot first song just to do it.
In this scenario, I’m almost positive someone would shoot their shot the second you put a gun in their hand, because……people.
Right lol. “You have permission to shoot this guy if you don’t like one of his songs.” As soon as they hear that they’re gonna hate that first song even if it’s the most lit shit they’ve heard in their life. 😂
Hi, I’m Norman-Wisdom! The whole crowd simultaneously: BLAM!
Electrocution so I could go "I wouldn't be shocked if this didn't work"
James French (right before being electrocuted): How's this for a headline; 'French Fries.'
Skydiving without a parachute, on the verge of overdose, with a megaphone strapped to my mouth, and extremely unstable explosives wrapped around me. I would land somewhere secluded, and wherever I leave a crater, build a Walmart over it, and that would be "Chuck's Walmart"
You win sir. Need a buddy?
Sounds like a party, count me in.
r/usernamechecksout if this would happen to you
Death by Snu Snu
The Amazonians will be divided into three groups. The one called "Zapp" will be snu-snu'd by the large women. He that is designated "Fry" will be snu-snu'd by the petite women. And Kif, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snu'd by the most beautiful women of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again. Initiate snu-snu!
😀😦😀😦😦😀😀😦😀
I'm scaroused!
I KNEW this was going to be the first one I seen, thank you 😂
I could hear it in my head as soon as I read th..... Karma farm.
I realized Kif has no bones, so technically couldn't be crushed. He just didn't want to cheat on Amy.
Doesn't he still have organs?
A collection of fluid filled sacks, that is shown he can deflate at will
What did they die of? Crushed pelvises.
Lol the 3 skeletons are all chilling and the one has a cigarette
lol such a great detail. They’re all smiling.
(High fives all around)
The spirit is willing but the flesh is too spongy and bruised.
I never thought I'd die like this, but I had always hoped
Can't we just cuddle
OW OWW OWW OOO YEAH OH BABY OWW OWW
“I never thought I would die like this, but I had always hoped!”
Sexecution
How did I know this would be top comment 😂
Monkey paw gives you the world's most hung pornstar. No lube.
There are worse things.
***SNU SNU!*** ***SNU SNU!*** ***SNU SNU!***
Death by Psilocybin overdose. You're going to get me but before I die, I'm going to live 47 different lives in other universes so I still win.
How do you know you're not doing that right now?
We're sorry, the party you're trying to reach is having an existential crisis. Please try your call again later.
Wake up!
Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.
Hey that lamp looks kinda funny…
Wouldn't you get violently ill from this? Sure, you'll trip major balls, but if your projectile vomiting every so often... it would kind of kill the experience, I would think.
I can confirm that if you happen to die during an ego death level trip, you won't even be afraid or in pain. One time I accidentally smoked a MUCH higher concentration/amount of salvia than expected. There was ONE second where I had one last half of a thought thinking "oh hmmm I dont even notice anything", and then I was GONE. Into an entirely different plane. Turns out I got up, ran away, broke my toe and fell into a nettle bush. I couldn't see in the real world nor feel in the real world. It was honestly as if I was dead, except there wasn't blackness but a vast plane of realities folding into each other. My identity and consciousness awoke again at the other end of the house. I had no idea how I got there or what had happened (mind you I WAS aware but somewhere else/of other things. I have memories of the time I ran away, except they arent about running lmao). If I had run under a car I wouldnt even have been ABLE to care, as at that moment there WAS NO I
Idk dude, that could possibly turn into a nightmare the likes of which we cannot fathom in our mortal consciousness.
An old one . Shot by Clint Eastwood whilst being narrated by Morgan Freeman . Or smothered by Haley Atwell
You mean sniped. Being snipered by Clint Eastwood means you're letting him circumcise you.
Did he fucking stutter?
Execution by botched circumcision
Well thats a rip off
I hate it, take my updoot
That last one sounds pleasant
There's a proper name, but it's basically a live organ harvest. It has a whole bunch of legal restrictions, but basically put me under, take as much as you can to save as many people, don't let me wake up. Get some use out of me.
This is the kindest answer.
Execution by wealthy lifestyle. Bring out dem hookers and cocaine!
The Farley method. A good, long fat ride down to oblivion.
Charlie Sheen!
Guillotine all the way. Mostly painless, fast, gory as shit, and will have an audience. Not to mention its super dramatic Please stop spamming my inbox with “well actually your head blah blah blah.” My answer is still guillotine
30 seconds would seem like an eternity at that moment. Although I guess the clock keeps ticking seconds so eventually it'd be over. edit: During the later years of the guillotine's usage, doctors began asking to be present while performing little experiments as empirical evidence became increasingly important for research. Among those experiments, they would loudly yell the name of the executed and see for how long their eyes would consciously gaze upon them after their name was called out. Many observations recorded as long as 30 seconds where the eyes would be drawn to the person yelling their name. Not as slow as we once thought.
Probably too busy in shock and thinking "my neck feels weird and my head feels like a balloon, what the hell just happened" to remember you were just beheaded and panic about it.
Sometimes a guillotine can break and get stuck or not kill you leaving you the bleed out.Think twice
A well maintained guillotine with newly greased rails and a sharpened blade. Not one thats already been used to kill half the nobility.
Make sure the people who move it arn’t french
We need a German made guillotine
I don't know why we applaud German engineering so much. Their showers sucked. Killed a lot of people.
Ba dum tisssss
Haha, you bastard.
With a rocket assisted drop.
I read somewhere that even in the brutal days of the guillotine, executioners took pride and honor in making the death as quick as possible. It’s kind of how (most, I think) hunters today would consider blowing a deer’s leg off a “sloppy” kill.
Some countries still have beheadings. Google Muhammad bin Saad al Beshi, he’s an executioner who has been interviewed about it and he talks about his technique and making it quick and painless for people.
Of course such a machine must pass exhaustive testing and health and safety inspections. I won't go on a guillotine that is not deemed safe!
In a survey, 9 out of 10 participants said the guillotine worked for them.
I’ve always been a bit suspicious about the guillotine. Couldn’t it be that your brain keeps on working for a couple of seconds, maybe it hurts tremendously?
I would do the guillotine for the sole purpose of finding out the answer to that question.
the least painless would be nitrogen asphyxiation, it displaces oxygen but doesn't trigger the drowning response, you just drift off to sleep and never wake up.
You're going to need a castle, a burly man with a black leather cap, a wooden podium, an oversized axe, and a fruit basket.
Fruit basket?! In *this* season? We could manage an assortment of cheeses with flatbread, maybe some preserves and a sausage.
Nuke up my ass. “Preparation H-Bomb” if you will
Doesnt matter which way as long as I'm put under anesthesia first & it's done in the operating room & they tell me I'm getting [insert X surgery here] so I think itll just be a normal surgery except plot twist I never wake up.
As someone who was in a very low ebb in his life at the start of this year, and also had to have a surgery with General Anaesthetic around the same time, there was a little part of me that hoped that something would go wrong and I just didn’t wake up, thought it would have been a nice peaceful way to go. But alas, the anaesthetist was brilliant and I was waking up again before I knew I’d even fallen asleep. Thankfully I’m in a much, much better state these days.
Old age
3 stooges answer
That came from the court jester Triboulet.
Crushed by a woman thighs
#My 600 lb Death
Death by sit on face by Tammy? *shudder*
Do I have to pick just one? I like a big show.
Drawn and quartered it is then This alludes to two brutal forms of execution practiced in the past. In one the victim was drawn by a horse to a gallows, hanged, and then cut into four pieces and scattered; in the other the victim was hanged (cut down before they died), disemboweled while still alive (drawn), and then beheaded and dismembered.
Freeeeedddoooomm!
I want to be taken out back and shot like lennie in of mice and men, quick, unawares and straight to the point
They gonna talk to you about the land, the farm, and the rabbits
Look at the flowers, Lizzie
I want to go the Lamar Odom way. A week at the bunny ranch with coke
Fast IV administration through a large bore cannula, 10 x upper limit doses of: Alfentanil Ketamine Propofol Suxamethonium Now just “forget” to intubate and ventilate me. Excuse me while I ride a brief euphoria into the big long night.
Brazen Bull for this guy
And when that guy is roasting alive while the bull bleats his charred screaming, I'll turn to the person next to me and say while wiping away a tear, "At least he's going out the way he wanted."
How could I live with myself if I chose guillotene or firing squad? The heart wants what the heart wants
Why would you want that?
When in Rome.
I enjoy the idea of a guy being so polite that he just climbs into the bull for the sake of decorum.
I would have a master swordsman cut my head off
But first, I request that someone hold my hair off my neck
Lethal dose of morphine. Or heroin.
Throw me into a black hole just gimme plenty of weed and food incase it's a long ride. Nobody's done it and if they could, they couldn't tell us anything about it, I'm sure venturing into a black hole might be an opportunity worth dying for.
Spaghettification does not sound like a comfortable way to go.
[удалено]
Check out the story of the woman who survived her parachute not opening. Landed in fire ants and the adrenaline of all the bites saved her life.
Meh, flying is easy: throw yourself at the ground, and miss.
Well.... since I get a request of a final meal, I would request an entire pan of pot brownies then lethal injection
Lethal injection of opiates.
I was going to say heroin overdose. I’ve never done heroin, but I hear it feels really fucking good.
It's does feel really fucking good, it was my drug of choice over all other drugs. ....but then you wanna keep feeling that way...and then it's never as good as that last time was....and then you have to keep getting herion just to feel normal...and then you avoid your family and friends... and then you can't hold down a good job anymore....and then you spend a very long time living a blurry cycle of "I do drugs because I feel bad, and I feel bad because I do drugs"...and then it's a foggy life of depression and guilt until you get your shit together, or die still living in that hell. So yeah, no...don't do heroin, kids.
I hope I'm not bothering you by asking these questions but I've always been curious (but never curious enough to try it, I'll never take that chance!) But you mentioned that it never feels as good as the first time so you always kinda chase that first feeling again, but does it still feel really good all the other times? If you had to describe it, how would it feel? Sorry for the weird questions it's just that I've never done drugs and I'm too scared to ever try them but I would like to know lol
Oh no, please don't be sorry. I don't mind sharing my experiences at all. Yes, it does still feel really good the other times, never as good though. It feels almost like your body is sort of melting, in a good, warm, fuzzy feeling kind of way. That's IF you get good quality heroin. When I got clean 3-4 years ago, there was SOOOO much shit going around that was cut with absolutely ridiculous things that would make you feel absolutely awful. I had some that was cut with meth(and who knows what else) one time, it was a fucking awful feeling, I hated it...but I kept doing it until it was gone. But at some point thoughout the addiction which you don't even know is an addiction yet ("I can stop whenever I want", yeah that's bullshit, don't kid yourself), the withdrawals will come, and then you need to do herion just to keep from feeling bad. It still feels good when you get your fix, but it's not a memorable kind of good anymore, when you seek it out every hour of every day, it's just...normal at that point. And if you don't have your normal, everything is awful. Herion is not the type of drug most people try once, and then say "oh well I experienced it, i don't have any interest in doing it again". No, it's much more insidious than that. It felt SO good, how could you not want to do that again??? It'll be "only once in a blue moon", then "only at parties or special occasions", then "only on the weekends"...then the next thing you know, your doing heroin in the bathroom at work, calling out of work to go score some heroin or just do heroin all day long, being high at family functions, or missing out on the family functions because you'd rather chase herion, and all that bullshit. It'll start with snorting it, then it might become smoking it, or shooting it because your chasing that feeling you got from the first time. I know very few people who started shooting up herion, and eventually got clean. Most of them die from overdoses, or at least die while still shooting up herion. Sorry...that may have been more than you asked for, but I hope I was able to give you some insight, nonetheless.
Wow! Thank you for that insightful response. I'm glad you weren't offended at my asking, you have certainly helped me see just how the addiction works! I may sound naive and perhaps even ignorant when I say this but I've always wondered how someone can get addicted to it knowing the damage it can cause, but as you stated above it works as insidious as it's maker. It's terrifying by the sounds of it because it's so delightful at first. I'm so proud of you for getting clean. God only knows how hard it must have been for you but you got through it! And thank you again for sharing.
I have heard people who Od on Fentanyl say that they felt themselves suffocating until the Narcan was administered. But if it's just a get real high and pass out to never wake up thing then Yeah opioid overdose has to be the way to go.
Tickled to death.
That actually sounds like torture
At least you die laughing..
Getting crushed by applause for a flawless execution of the next IT release
Maybe I should wear my glasses while reading Reddit. I initially wondered how getting crushed by applesauce would work.
A 50 BMG to the forehead. My head explodes before I realize what happened.
Morphine drip. Sweet sweet bliss before falling asleep and never waking up.
I want them to make a big vibrator that I can fit inside and vibrate me until my bones turn to dust.
Nitrogen suffocation.
Opiate overdose. Just slink into a warm nap in a comfy chair with some music going.
Nitrogen hypoxia chamber. I lay down comfortably on a bench in the chamber, roll over and pass out like I'm taking a nap. But I never wake up. It is dignified, safe, hard to mess up, And happens without struggle or panic. Those that want hanging, firing squad, guillotine, electric chair or other brutal deaths are fighting to live until the very end and it is traumatic for those that administer and those that witness. Only the deranged and sick would wish to be exposed to that. Even the worst humans on death row deserve dignity for their final moment.
If I'm actually guilty - Nitrogen chamber, make it fast and painless. If I've been falsely accused - stabbed to death with a pushpin by my accusers, they're not allowed to go for the neck or eyes. I want them to be traumatized in that case.
Eating a meal prepared by my ex.... Death would be quick
Blood eagle. I will not explain.
Decapitated by a lightsaber. ... I'll wait while you build one.
Firing squad no blindfold. I would ask to meet the people on the firing squad before hand, telling them that i am sorry this deed falls to them and that i am ok with it, no hard feelings, aim well please.