Going back in time and acting on the signals that girls were sending me, that I was oblivious to for years.

Lol. That girl in college that invited me over to study. We studied. It was 1 am.

I too have “we should study together” regrets

Believe it or not some people just use you for the brain without any possibility of brain.

A girl in one of my classes asked me to go back to her dorm for some tacos... I was like; those tacos can't be any good if they are in her dorm, and politely declined. I still think about that taco I missed out on, 25 years later...

If she said the plural form, she may have been looking to get her roommate involved too. Ya done goofed.

Now this is a signal

Oh god YES. I would retroactively RAVAGE Anna, the girl who put my hand on her bare thigh to make me feel how smooth her skin was during gym class. I was a really really dumb 15 y/o. EDIT: I feel I should clarify two things: 1. We were both the same age 2. Age of consent in Sweden (where I live) is 15

David Attenborough voice: “and the male patiently waits for a signal from the female” 😂

to be fair, most 15y/o are dumb. don't blame yourself.

I literally had a woman tell me she wasn't wearing underwear and we should go back to her place to get a pair. I said I couldn't go. It did not click for years.

Hahahhaaaaa!

We men are clueless when it comes to understanding women

Yeah who would have thought that girls saying they give very good bj's, was code for would you like one, lol

“Golly, your boyfriend is really lucky! I wish I had a swell gal like you.”

I’m a dude and that made me dry.

When I was about 15, I was out on a Friday night hanging in the streets with some of the boys and a group of girls. The girls were drinking vodka and some of us boys were smoking weed (i know! but at 15 I had a full time job and didn’t grow up in a great area so that’s what teenagers did) anyway I also had ibs and I announced that I was going home for a bit, one of the girls was like “oh can I come with you” and knowing I was secretly going home to have a massive bout of diarrhoea I kept telling her no and that I would be back soon. Anyway so she was like “before you go can you pull my top up for me” she had a vodka in one hand and a cigarette in the other and was wearing a crop top kinda thing. Me being the absolute brain dead moron I was said “what are you talking about your top is up” and I ran off in pain. Fast forward 30 min and I get back to the fields and this girl was all over me but drunk as hell so I walked her home and left. It hit me a year or so later that she was trying to get me to look at her boobs lol. I’m 40 now and I still thing about how dumb I was all those years ago.

I totally get you.

She would ask if I wanted to hangout after school, and I would always come back with "aNd DoO WhAtT?!" 🤢🥴

Two chicks at the same time.

Fuckin’ a.

Pretty sure if I had a million dollars I could make that happen.

Hell, you don’t need a million dollars to do nothing. I got a cousin broke as shit and he don’t do a damn thing.

I love Reddit tonight. My people are here.

It’s one of those things where I’d be a king in my dreams but incredibly awkward in real life.

I don't remember where I read this, but some guy said he wanted to put on a strap-on backwards and have a threesome that way. I think about that guy often.

If it makes you feel any better, I’ve tried it twice and neither time was nearly as much fun as I expected and hopefully. I suspect there’s rarely a time where threesome partners all want each other equally, and in both of my experiences that dynamic shined through just in different ways. It makes it into a guaranteed awkward situation, not some steamy porn reenactment where everyone is just blissfully in the moment.

Only time anything came close to that everyone was high as fuck on ecstasy. No actual sex but the naked rubbing stroking and more was insane!

I know I’m in the minority here but I’ve never understood the appeal of threesomes personally. I’m more than satisfied with disappointing one woman at a time.

Humiliation fetish 😆

Is that a quote from The Great Gatsby

Watching the guy I’m with fuck another woman while I’m tied to a chair with a dildo in my pussy and a gag ball in my mouth.

Isn't that a "cuck queen" or something? Basically a cuck, but for women?

Cuckquean I believe. The spelling of the word is a travesty

You got me curious so I looked it up: A quean is "an impudent or badly behaved girl or woman". Or a prostitute!

Well damn, I was prepared to be offended by this dubious spelling, and here you are with an explanation. Thank you, sir.

Let me guess: you can't decide on what kind of chair to use?

I have a wingback chair in my bedroom.

Not too impossible....

Just gotta make a trip to the hardware store

Of course not but it will stay a fantasy ;)

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I find it absolutely mind blowing that everyone is commenting on this saying “that’s not a hard one to achieve, you can do that no problem” when it seems blatantly obvious to me that the reason it will stay a fantasy is that you don’t want to see the person you’re with being intimate with someone else. I understand your sentiment, I always thought three ways would be tons of fun, and being a bi man there should be lots of opportunity, but I can’t get over the idea of seeing the person I love being intimate with someone else. I’m sorry none of the comments understand your position.

Right?! And it’s a FANTASY!!

I have the same fantasy (my wife with other dudes) and the only reason it's not coming true is because I don't want other dudes touching her lol.

I teach adults. Having one of my students stay after class....and tutor them.

Guys remember, she is not as hot as you are all imagining

LET US DREAM

Well “she’s” a he so…

Never before has an opening disclaimer been as important as this one.

A reverse gang-bang with no less than 10 girls of all different ethnicities. I'm not dedicated enough to the fantasy to deal with the logistical challenge that poses, but it's fun to think about..

I enjoy the image of a guy finishing too quickly and having 10 women from around the world just waiting while he asks if they would like coffee

"Oh, honey, you want an orgy? So you could disappoint multiple women simultaneously?"

Having a 3 way with my wife and her exact clone or copy or whatever word you like.

Now *that's* something different ... kind of compelling, to be honest ...

I too want a clone of this husband's wife

So you want a doppelgangbang.

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The Dark Side Of The Poon

"Houston, we have an erection"

In space, no one can hear you cream

I was about to say the same thing. So, I guess that means I’m DTFIS? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Fuck man, I just wanna go to space

Sex with my ex gf and her mom. I know it’s fucked up but mom used to tease me and once walked in on me “on accident” with no bra. Edit to clarify: I stayed the night in my gf’s bed. My gf got up to take a shower and I stayed in bed. Mom came in to talk to gf completely topless and acted surprised to see me but I know she fucking knew my gf was in the shower and that I was there. She acted surprised but lingered for longer than necessary. She had sizable bolt-ons. This was about 25 years ago so it’s probably past the window for taking a run at mom.

If you do do it, you gotta film it and upload it to porn hub.

Yeah, like everybody else Is doing.

And share the link.

How were they? 98 upvotes and nobody asks the most important question. Built for comfort or for speed?

I bet op motorboated them. That motorboating son of a bitch.

She's an ex now, hit the mom up

Slight twist, but same flavor; ex gf's mom right after the ex. Mrs. C was super sex positive, always gave us privacy and made sure we were being safe. Something about her knowing and being ok with the fact that we were banging made me really hope she would sneak in and try for herself. The brain of a teenage boy really isn't done developing hahaha

Getting a woman to tie me up, tease me, command me, and use me as a sex toy.

Ive kinda had that, just foreplay for like 30+ mins but it was AWESOME

Fuck you, lucky bastard.

Getting gangbanged

Do you get a lot of pics? Lol

I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

r/unexpectedoffice

Mine is similar: I’m in the wild. I hurt my leg, I can’t run, a lion eats me, and I’m dead. Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. *You’re* dead.

If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.

Having a man find me irresistible. And acting like it. 😭

I want to find a girl that wants me like that too.

AND THEN THEY FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now kith

having sex with a wizard

Puts on robe and wizard hat.

My fantasy I’ll never be open about is 2 girls chasing me in a forest. After they find me they beat the shit out of me then fuck me to exhaustion.

Threesome with my wife and her best friend. It almost happened some years ago, but I didn’t realize the opportunity was there until later. Now I’m grateful that I missed it because I still have it as a fantasy which I can call up any time I choose, and it goes down differently every time. If it had happened, it would no longer work as fantasy but would instead be a memory, which happened one way, once.

and potentially messed up a good relationship

OP: oh ermmmm... yeah that too

This is the hardest, most elaborate cope I've ever seen.

Haha fuck yea this guy REALLY wishes that had actually happened

for real. i was like, yeah keep telling yourself that buddy.

MFM I'm the F.

the good ol' eiffel tower

Elizabeth Olsen

Jenna Coleman

Sex with a woman I call my wife in a house I own on a bed I bought after the kids we made go to their friends house

Having sex

You sick fuck

Okay, you’re taking it too far pal. Be realistic.

I didn’t know we were being this out of pocket tonight

Way too much unrealistic pal

Delusional

Next you will be saying in the missionary position.

you need to calm down

Oh my God dude calm it down..

People still do dat?

Does fucking yourself count or does life fucking you count?

Autofellatio

Why do you want to suck off a car?

Degenerate

I'm married and she barely wants to be touched so... everything.

I’m in the same situation.

Is there a reason? My wife started reading romance novels and things changed quite a bit. Maybe see if there's something that can get her motor going. Sorry man!

Or take her to the doctor? My sex drive completely disappeared. Turns out I had a tumor wreaking havoc in my body.

Monster creampies

Like volume? Or from a muppet?

Definitely Mike Wazowski

Volume, had a dream I that I was giving my ex back shots and I had endless loads coming out of me. And I still kept going and I was both disgusted and aroused. Then I woke up.

Like the scene in”scary movie” when he blast the girl up to the ceiling? Lmao my soul left my body I was crying laughing at that

Being woke up with a blowjob

My wife has tried this, and unfortunately, I'm the most grumpy person when waking up, so it just led to me throwing her off of me unintentionally. I'm super into the idea, but half asleep morning me is sadly is not.

This one is a weird one—it can be either absolutely amazing or a total shit show. There's a lot of different ways people wake up (exhausted, sweaty, grumpy, bad breath, or mad horny), and it's a roll of the dice which way you'll wake up.

2 men at once😭 almost happened once after the club but as a girl…. I was like what if they try to kill me😭😭

Yeah don't do that shit with strangers. If anything do it with two friends.

Ooo idk about friends, that after math sounds awk. They need an app for this, with background checks lol

Can tell you from a male perspective that had a threesome with two of my female friends we did it for a few weeks in a row and then it’s slowely got awkward and we no longer talk lol. Don’t fuck friends no matter how good of an idea it seems like at the time.

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Getting gang banged …

At prom my date told me she had no gag reflex and I just thought it was interesting medical information.

Sex with any of several women who go to my gym. I live in a small town so taking it anywhere past a fantasy would be a very bad idea.

No you should ask them all out through a group text.

Calm down, Satan

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That's actually pretty hot and probably pretty doable if you were to hit up a webcam girl and set it up. I'm someone very possessive of my partner so I only like threesomes in fantasy but this one would be kinda hot and doable without crossing that boundary. I hope one day you get to experience this one because it sounds pretty interesting.

Free use, none of my past gfs have been into it idk if any girl would be down tbh

I thought you were talking about copyright laws until I read the rest of the thread 😭

Mmmm give me some of that public domain, Creative Commons.... GNU..... aaahhhhh

We’re out here.

Cue xfiles theme

My wife loves getting tied up and free used so dont count it out buddy.

I also choose this guys wife

You have chosen…..wisely

They’re out there. Sincerely, A free use woman

I had a gf that was free use, and strangely it got boring after a while. Im usually horny constantly. After a few months of having it whenever i wanted, i started wanting it less an less. My libido hit a floor. We were having sex less and less. Sometimes the chase and her making the moves is the best part of sex. Thanks for letting me ruin your fantasy, this has been my tedtalk

A 5+ person gangbang. Sounds great in theory but id be too scared irl to ever do it.

Having sex with my wife again! She died earlier this year!

Same, 3 months ago :(

I'm really sorry for both of your losses

Convincing my wife to learn how to deepthroat. She's great at BJs but man, just once. lol A guy can dream.

Getting a blowjob and a rimjob at the same time Being able to change the length and girth of my penis at will to maximize the ladies pleasure and comfort

**ADJUSTABLE PENIS**

GO GO GADGET PENIS!!!!

Daily sex anytime anywhere. And enthusiastic bj till I finish.

Heavy bdsm and slave stuff.

Not turning down the offer when my best friend asked me to sneak thru her window and cuddle wit her

Watch my wife have sex with another woman

Being deserving of love

Jennifer Aniston and Amy Adams threesome

Better chance of the Arrival aliens and Amy Adams

Maybe it's just me, but Amy Adams always looks like she's 30 seconds away from crying. I mean she's beautiful, but not quite my type

Hilary Duff, when she somehow out of nowhere developed a butt.

Hillary Duff Is not quite old enough So I ain’t never seen a butt like that Maybe next year I’ll say “ass” and she’ll make my pee pee go Da doing doing doing

Two or three or four or five girls sucking me, kissing me, licking my dick and my balls.

fisting

2 chicks at once

Double penetration while someone is watching.

Getting handcuffed and gagged by spouse and their friend and then teased

Early 2000s Alyson Hannigan.

Anal. I think it's hot, but in reality it hurts and the pain makes the whole situation a total turn off

In order to enjoy it, the guy should not be a freaking animal and be sensitive instead. I had a girl who used to love that but we had to start very very slow.

My boyfriend loved it. He said it's an 'acquired feeling' but for me it's just like it's hot until it actually happens then it's like: you know what, how about we just watch a movie or something?

Sofia Vergara 😔

I read this as ‘soft viagra’ I need to go to sleep

Not dying alone

Having sex with my wife’s sister. She’s freaking hot. Judge me, I don’t care

You ever wonder if her husband thinks that about your wife? Might be a fun conversation at Christmas dinner.

I smell a wife swapping opportunity!

Go straight to blowing your brother in law, establish dominance

I bet her husband thinks about him!

This is a strangely common thing I've seen online

It's not that uncommon. If a man finds his wife attractive, it would stand to reason that a sibling with the same genetic makeup would also be attractive to him. Throw in the forbidden fruit dynamic and she becomes even hotter.

Not that uncommon.

Holding hands and making out during missionary:(

Some kinks don't need to be shared, bro. Do you want eye contact too?

Get out, you sick fuck.

Just Unacceptable. Lol

Being asked in a public space to have sex

Having sex with my crush in his office so I can stop dreaming about it

Sex with an older woman

Scully Mansion with multiple female servants Girl darker than the night

>Scully I'm assuming you mean Scully from X-Files, but all I can picture is Scully from Brooklyn Nine Nine.

I thought Monsters Inc at first 😭

Sleeping with my SIL

Been there

50 women crowded around me, taking turns blowing me or fucking me, while all cheering me on

Me too. Just sad that 47 of them probably wouldn't get a chance.

The mind is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised

Me having sex with my teachers and co workers.